Despicable Me (film)

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We are going to steal… *pause for effect*… THE MOON!
We stole the Statue of Liberty! The small one from Las Vegas.
I won’t even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.

Despicable Me is a 2010 American 3D computer-animated comedy film about a criminal mastermind who uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, but finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better.

Directed by Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin. Written by Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio.
Superbad. Superdad.taglines

Lines[edit]

Gru: [To his minions] What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice. [all cheering] That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the Statue of Liberty! [Minions cheer] The small one from Las Vegas. [Minions groan with disappointment] And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.

Gru: We have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the true crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... [all the minions pull out weapons] Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet! [Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions] Hey! Dave, listen up, please! [one of the singed minions punches Dave] Next, we are going to steal... [long pause] *pause for effect*. [opens skylight] ...THE MOON!

Gru:[repeated line, whenever he has an idea] Light bulb...

Gru: Yes, yes. I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet goes.

Vector: [to Gru] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... Vector! [no response] That's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [no response] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAH!

Vector: [to Gru] Check this out! Piranha gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranha. Have you ever seen one before? No! That's because I invented it.

Vector: [After shrinking his toilet to amuse himself] Aw, look at you, a little tiny toilet. [mumbling in baby-talk] For little tiny baby people to u— [toilet flies off pipe, resulting in it spraying water in his face] Augh! Curse you, tiny toilet!


Edith: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.

Edith: [referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her] Yes! Mine is shaped like a dead guy!

Mr. Perkins: [Gru is applying for a loan] Let’s say this apple is you. If we don’t start getting our money back… [viciously crushes the apple] get the picture? [Gru gulps nervously]

Agnes: Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!

Agnes: [in a deep voice, after winning the unicorn] It's so fluffy!

Dialogue[edit]

I’m afraid you’re too late, son. NASA isn’t sending the monkeys anymore.
Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing?
Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it.
Fred: Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go.
Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
Fred: [confused] Oh, okay. Uh... yeah!

Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
Gru: What? What happened?
Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
Gru: [responds angrily] Assemble the Minions!

Gru: [takes phone call] Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [laughs]
Gru: Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
Gru's Mom: Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! [ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!

Dr. Nefario: Oh, here is the new weapon you ordered [fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out]
Gru: No, I said dart gun, not— [wafts stench away from face] Ooh! Okay…

Young Gru: [Watching Apollo 11 landings] Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon!
Gru's Mom: Oh, I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore.

Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn.
Edith: Cool.

[Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins]
Gru: Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! [shows the shrink ray] Huh? [Jerry manages to get off the couch, but Kevin, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk]
Mr. Perkins: Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. [shows a picture] I fly to the moon... [shows another picture] ...I shrink the moon... [shows another picture] ...I grab the moon... [shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith] I sit on the toilet... Wait, what?! [the girls laugh; nervous]

Margo: Hey, can we order pizza?
Edith: All right then.
Gru: [picks up Agnes and puts her back] Pizza? You just had lunch!
Edith: Not now, for dinner.
Gru: Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
Margo: Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
[Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face]
Edith, Agnes, Stuart and Jerry: Ooh, stuffed crust!
Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust!
Agnes: [giggles] You're funny!
Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! [closes the door; to Mr. Perkins] Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.

Gru: [furious] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! [chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him] No, no, no!
Edith: Freeze ray!
Mr. Perkins: Mr. Gru?
Gru: [makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks] As I was saying...
Mr. Perkins: No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
Gru: But my plan--
Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
[Gru remembers some of his memories]
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon!
Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's picture, but turns back] Ehh.
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni!
Gru's Mom: [looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets] Ehh.
Young Gru: [excitedly] Look, Mom! I made the real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [presses a button and sends the rocket into space]
Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off] Ooo... [looks back at Gru] Ehh.
Gru: [Reality hits him; he falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused] I... don't understand.
Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a...well, a younger villain.
Gru: But I--
Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. [crushes his apple and the TV turns off]

[Vector is discussing the shrink ray with his father, Mr. Perkins]
Mr. Perkins: Do you know where the shrink ray is?
Vector: Duh! Back at my place.
Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one. [shows Vector the image on his laptop] That looks exactly like it!
Vector: What the...? Those- Those girls sold me cookies!
Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be?! I give you the opportunity of a lifetime and you just blow it!
Vector: No, I haven't!
Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?
Vector: Now you just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon! (opens his weapon case) Squid launcher! Oh, yeah! [fires a squid into the lobby]
Man: Aah! There's a squid on my face!
Vector: You just wait. The Moon is as good as ours!

Gru: [trying to put the girls in bed] Come on now. It's bed time. [to Agnes] Did you brush your teeth? [Agnes nods] Let me smell, Let me smell... [Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags] You did not! [Edith suddenly lands on him] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
Edith: But we're not tired!
Gru: Well, I am tired!
Agnes: [holding the book Sleepy Kittens] Will you read us a bedtime story?
[silence]
Gru: [in a deep voice] No. [attempts to leave the room]
Agnes: Pretty please?
Gru: The physical appearance of the please makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
Edith: But we can't! We're all hyper!
Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
[pause]
Gru: [sighs; giving in] Fine.

Agnes: I like him. He's nice.
Edith: But scary. [turns off her light]
Agnes: ...Like Santa! [turns off her light]

Gru: [leans into the camera lens] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain!
Vector: [laughs, sarcastically] Ooh, I'm really scared!
[Gru punches the camera screen, making Vector jump and fumble not to drop the moon.]
Agnes: [smugly] He is gonna kick your butt.

Gru: Okay, girls, time for bed.
Edith: Ah, come on, we want a story.
Agnes: [excited] Three Sleepy Kittens!
Gru: Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
[Kyle snorts]
Gru: Tonight, we are going to read a new book. [shows his homemade book to the girls] This one is called, "One Big Unicorn" by... Who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! [opens the book] Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. [sticks his nose through a small hole] That's the horn.
[the girls laugh along with Gru]
Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever.
Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. [opens the book] Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Until 3 little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down."
Edith: [points to the page] Hey, that one looks like me!
Gru: [pulls back the book] No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [continues reading] "They made him laugh... [laughs] ...They made him cry." [sighs] "He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never part, from those 3 little kittens that changed his heart." [beats] The End. [closes the book] Okay, alright, good night.
[Gru starts to leave the girls' bedroom, but comes back and kisses Agnes and then Edith on the forehead; he bends over to kiss Margo, but she jumps up and throws her arms around his neck]
Margo: I love you.
Gru: [hugging her back; whispering] I love you too.

[watching the girls' dance recital]
Gru: They're very good.
Marlena: Ah, I'm so proud of you, son. You turned out to be a great parent. Just like me. [Gru rolls his eyes] Maybe even better. [Gru smiles]

About Despicable Me (film)[edit]

  • Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like Dracula and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of James Bond, thinking of characters like Goldfinger and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology.

Taglines[edit]

  • Superbad, Superdad
  • Some call him bad, they call him dad. (British tagline)
  • Who's afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
  • Happy Fathers’ Day
  • Just because he's a bad guy, doesn't mean he's a bad guy.
  • From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears A Who.
  • What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
  • His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
  • It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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  Films   Despicable Me (2010) · Despicable Me 2 (2013) · Despicable Me 3 (2017)  
  Spin‑offs   Minions (2015)