Despicable Me (film)
Despicable Me is a 2010 American 3D computer-animated comedy film about a criminal mastermind who uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, but finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better.
Gru: [To his minions] What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice. [all cheering] That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the Statue of Liberty! [Minions cheer] The small one from Las Vegas. [Minions groan with disappointment] And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.
Gru: We have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the true crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... [all the minions pull out weapons] Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet! [Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions] Hey! Dave, listen up, please! [one of the singed minions punches Dave] Next, we are going to steal... [long pause] *pause for effect*. [opens skylight] ...THE MOON!
Gru:[repeated line, whenever he has an idea] Light bulb...
Gru: Yes, yes. I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet goes.
Vector: [to Gru] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... Vector! [no response] That's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [no response] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAH!
Vector: [to Gru] Check this out! Piranha gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranha. Have you ever seen one before? No! That's because I invented it.
Vector: [After shrinking his toilet to amuse himself] Aw, look at you, a little tiny toilet. [mumbling in baby-talk] For little tiny baby people to u— [toilet flies off pipe, resulting in it spraying water in his face] Augh! Curse you, tiny toilet!
Edith: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
Edith: [referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her] Yes! Mine is shaped like a dead guy!
- Mr. Perkins: [Gru is applying for a loan] Let’s say this apple is you. If we don’t start getting our money back… [viciously crushes the apple] get the picture? [Gru gulps nervously]
Agnes: Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!
Agnes: [in a deep voice, after winning the unicorn] It's so fluffy!
- Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing?
- Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it.
- Fred: Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go.
- Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
- Fred: [confused] Oh, okay. Uh... yeah!
- Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
- Gru: What? What happened?
- Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
- Gru: [responds angrily] Assemble the Minions!
- Gru: [takes phone call] Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
- Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [laughs]
- Gru: Listen, I'm in the middle of something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
- Gru's Mom: Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! [ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!
- Dr. Nefario: Oh, here is the new weapon you ordered [fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out]
- Gru: No, I said dart gun, not— [wafts stench away from face] Ooh! Okay…
- Young Gru: [Watching Apollo 11 landings] Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon!
- Gru's Mom: Oh, I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore.
- Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs?
- Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn.
- Edith: Cool.
- [Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins]
- Gru: Sorry to bother you Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! [shows the shrink ray] Huh? [Jerry manages to get off the couch, but Kevin, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk]
- Mr. Perkins: Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
- Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. [shows a picture] I fly to the moon... [shows another picture] ...I shrink the moon... [shows another picture] ...I grab the moon... [shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith] I sit on the toilet... Wait, what?! [the girls laugh; nervous]
- Margo: Hey, can we order pizza?
- Edith: All right then.
- Gru: [picks up Agnes and puts her back] Pizza? You just had lunch!
- Edith: Not now, for dinner.
- Gru: Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
- Margo: Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
- [Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face]
- Edith, Agnes, Stuart and Jerry: Ooh, stuffed crust!
- Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust!
- Agnes: [giggles] You're funny!
- Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! [closes the door; to Mr. Perkins] Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
- Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.
- Gru: [furious] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! [chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him] No, no, no!
- Edith: Freeze ray!
- Mr. Perkins: Mr. Gru?
- Gru: [makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks] As I was saying...
- Mr. Perkins: No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
- Gru: But my plan--
- Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
- [Gru remembers some of his memories]
- Young Gru: Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon!
- Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's picture, but turns back] Ehh.
- Young Gru: Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni!
- Gru's Mom: [looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets] Ehh.
- Young Gru: [excitedly] Look, Mom! I made the real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [presses a button and sends the rocket into space]
- Gru's Mom: [looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off] Ooo... [looks back at Gru] Ehh.
- Gru: [Reality hits him; he falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused] I... don't understand.
- Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a...well, a younger villain.
- Gru: But I--
- Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. [crushes his apple and the TV turns off]
- [Vector is discussing the shrink ray with his father, Mr. Perkins]
- Mr. Perkins: Do you know where the shrink ray is?
- Vector: Duh! Back at my place.
- Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one. [shows Vector the image on his laptop] That looks exactly like it!
- Vector: What the...? Those- Those girls sold me cookies!
- Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be?! I give you the opportunity of a lifetime and you just blow it!
- Vector: No, I haven't!
- Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?
- Vector: Now you just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon! (opens his weapon case) Squid launcher! Oh, yeah! [fires a squid into the lobby]
- Man: Aah! There's a squid on my face!
- Vector: You just wait. The Moon is as good as ours!
- Gru: [trying to put the girls in bed] Come on now. It's bed time. [to Agnes] Did you brush your teeth? [Agnes nods] Let me smell, Let me smell... [Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags] You did not! [Edith suddenly lands on him] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
- Edith: But we're not tired!
- Gru: Well, I am tired!
- Agnes: [holding the book Sleepy Kittens] Will you read us a bedtime story?
- Gru: [in a deep voice] No. [attempts to leave the room]
- Agnes: Pretty please?
- Gru: The physical appearance of the please makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
- Edith: But we can't! We're all hyper!
- Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
- Gru: [sighs; giving in] Fine.
- Agnes: I like him. He's nice.
- Edith: But scary. [turns off her light]
- Agnes: ...Like Santa! [turns off her light]
- Gru: [leans into the camera lens] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain!
- Vector: [laughs, sarcastically] Ooh, I'm really scared!
- [Gru punches the camera screen, making Vector jump and fumble not to drop the moon.]
- Agnes: [smugly] He is gonna kick your butt.
- Gru: Okay, girls, time for bed.
- Edith: Ah, come on, we want a story.
- Agnes: [excited] Three Sleepy Kittens!
- Gru: Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
- [Kyle snorts]
- Gru: Tonight, we are going to read a new book. [shows his homemade book to the girls] This one is called, "One Big Unicorn" by... Who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! [opens the book] Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. [sticks his nose through a small hole] That's the horn.
- [the girls laugh along with Gru]
- Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever.
- Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. [opens the book] Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Until 3 little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down."
- Edith: [points to the page] Hey, that one looks like me!
- Gru: [pulls back the book] No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [continues reading] "They made him laugh... [laughs] ...They made him cry." [sighs] "He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never part, from those 3 little kittens that changed his heart." [beats] The End. [closes the book] Okay, alright, good night.
- [Gru starts to leave the girls' bedroom, but comes back and kisses Agnes and then Edith on the forehead; he bends over to kiss Margo, but she jumps up and throws her arms around his neck]
- Margo: I love you.
- Gru: [hugging her back; whispering] I love you too.
- [watching the girls' dance recital]
- Gru: They're very good.
- Marlena: Ah, I'm so proud of you, son. You turned out to be a great parent. Just like me. [Gru rolls his eyes] Maybe even better. [Gru smiles]
About Despicable Me (film)
- Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like Dracula and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of James Bond, thinking of characters like Goldfinger and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology.
- Chris Renaud in "Directors Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin on Creative Choices and Challenges in “Despicable Me” Films", by C. Edwards, Cartoon Brew, 01/03/2014.
- Superbad, Superdad
- Some call him bad, they call him dad. (British tagline)
- Who's afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
- Happy Fathers’ Day
- Just because he's a bad guy, doesn't mean he's a bad guy.
- From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears A Who.
- What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
- His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
- It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.
- Steve Carell - Gru
- Jason Segel - Vector
- Russell Brand - Dr. Nefario
- Julie Andrews - Marlena Gru (credited as "Gru's Mom")
- Will Arnett - Mr. Perkins
- Kristen Wiig - Ms. Hattie
- Miranda Cosgrove - Margo
- Dana Gaier - Edith
- Elsie Fisher - Agnes
- Pierre Coffin
Jemaine Clement - The Minions
- Jack McBrayer - Justin's Dad, Carnival Barker
- Ken Jeong - Talk Show Host
- Danny McBride - Fred McDade
- Mindy Kaling - Justin's Mom
- Rob Huebel - Anchorman, Newscaster
- Ken Daurio - Egyptian Guard
- Frank Welker - Kyle (uncredited)