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Despicable Me (film)

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We are going to steal… pause for effect… THE MOON!
We stole the Statue of Liberty! The small one from Las Vegas.
I won’t even mention the Eiffel Tower. Also Vegas.
I'm committing crimes, with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAH!

Despicable Me is a 2010 American 3D computer-animated comedy film about a criminal mastermind who uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, but finds their love is profoundly changing him for the better.

Directed by Chris Renaud and Pierre Coffin. Written by Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio.
Superbad. Superdad. taglines

Gru

[edit]
  • Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the true crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... [all the minions pull out weapons] Wait, wait! I have not told you what it is yet! [Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions] Hey. Dave, listen up, please! [Dave looks down and murmurs in embarrassment; one of the singed minions walks over and punches Dave] Next, we are going to steal... [long pause] pause for effect… [opens skylight] ...THE MOON!
  • [repeated line, whenever he has an idea] Light bulb...
  • (to Dr. Nefario) Cookie robots! I said cookie robots! Ah, why... why are you so old?

Vector

[edit]
  • [to Gru] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... Vector! [no response] That's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [no response] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAH!
  • [to Gru] Check out my new weapon! Piranha gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranhas. Have you ever seen one before? No! That's because I invented it.
  • [after shrinking his toilet to amuse himself] Aw, look at you, a little tiny toilet. [mumbling in baby-talk] For a little, tiny baby people toi— [toilet flies off pipe, resulting in it spraying water in his face] AAAAAH! CURSE YOU, TINY TOILET!

Edith

[edit]
  • When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie.
  • [referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her] Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy!

Mr. Perkins

[edit]
  • [Gru is applying for a loan] Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back… [viciously crushes the apple] Get the picture? [Gru gulps nervously]

Agnes

[edit]
  • Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He is so fluffy, I'm going to die!
  • It's so fluffy!
  • He's gonna kick your butt!
  • Does this count as annoying? [pats her face rapidly] [Gru: Very!]

Dialogue

[edit]
I’m afraid you’re too late, son. NASA isn’t sending the monkeys anymore.
Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing?
Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it.
Fred: [chuckles] Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go.
Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
Fred: [confused] Oh, okay. Uh... yeah!
Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats.
Gru: What? What happened?
Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid! He said it makes all other villains look... lame.
Gru: [responds angrily] Assemble the Minions!
Gru: [takes phone call] Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but...
Marlena: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [laughs]
Gru: Just so you know, mom, I'm about to do something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud!
Marlena: Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! [ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!
[A minion drinks a flask of purple liquid and starts floating upwards as Gru and Dr. Nefario watch on.]
Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this one for a while. It's a Anti-Gravity Serum.
[The minion suddenly drifts towards a conveniently open hatch, screaming as he floats up and out of sight.]
Dr. Nefario: ...I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure.
Gru: Do the effects wear off?
[Dr Nefario looks up at a bunch of minions floating under one of the walkways overhead.]
Dr. Nefario: Err, so far... no. No, they don't.
[The minions wave to them and Gru hesitantly waves back at them.]
Dr. Nefario: Oh, here is the new weapon you ordered [fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out]
Gru: No, I said dart gun, not— [wafts stench away from face] Ooh! Okay…
Dr. Nefario: Oh, yeah. 'Cos I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this.
Young Gru: [Watching Apollo 11 landings] Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon!
Marlena: Oh, I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore.
Gru: Okey-dokey, beddy-bye, all tucked in. Sweet dreams.
Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad.
Gru: I think I can live with that. [pulls the lever up]
Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn.
Edith: Cool.
Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?
Gru: No.
Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story.
Gru: Well, then, it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. [whispers] Oh, and there's probably something in your closet. [closes the door]
Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes.
[Gru turns on the TV which shows Mr. Perkins]
Gru: Sorry to bother you, Mr. Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! [shows the shrink ray] Huh? [Jerry manages to get off the couch, but Kevin, who is still sitting on it, is shrunk]
Mr. Perkins: Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.
Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. [shows a picture] I fly to the moon... [shows another picture] ...I shrink the moon... [shows another picture] ...I grab the moon... [shows a poorly drawn picture, signed by Edith] I sit on the toilet... Wait, what?! [the girls laugh; nervous]
Margo: Hey, can we order pizza?
Gru: [picks up Agnes and puts her back] Pizza? You just had lunch!
Edith: Not now, for dinner.
Gru: Dinner?! Just fine, fine, fine, whatever! Just get back in there.
Margo: Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust?
[Gru suddenly stops with an irate look on his face]
Edith, Agnes, Kevin and Jerry: Ooh, stuffed crust!
Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust!
Agnes: [giggles] You're funny!
Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! [closes the door; to Mr. Perkins] Alright. Sorry about that. Where were we?
Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.
Agnes: [sees Super Silly Fun Land] Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go, please?
Gru: No.
Gru: [furious] What are you doing?! I told you to stay out of here! [chases the girls out of the room, then backpedals when Edith and Agnes aim the freeze ray at him] No, no, no!
Edith: Freeze ray!
Mr. Perkins: Mr. Gru?
Gru: [makes karate sounds, but arrives with a frozen body, with the exception of his head, arms, and buttocks] As I was saying...
Mr. Perkins: No need to continue, I've seen quite enough.
Gru: But my plan--
Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan, I love everything about your plan, except for one thing: you.
[Gru remembers some of his memories]
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon!
Marlena: [looks at Gru's picture, but turns back] Ehh.
Young Gru: Look, Mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni!
Marlena: [looks at he macaroni prototype, but regrets] Ehh.
Young Gru: [excitedly] Look, Mom! I made the real rocket, based on the macaroni prototype! [presses a button and sends the rocket into space]
Marlena: [looks at Gru's rocket as it flies off] Ooo... [looks back at Gru] Ehh.
[Reality hits Gru]
Gru: [falls down and breaks the ice encasing him; confused] I... don't understand.
Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long, with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... well, a younger villain.
Gru: But... I...
Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. [crushes his apple and the TV turns off]
[Vector is discussing the shrink ray with his father, Mr. Perkins]
Mr. Perkins: Do you know where the shrink ray is?
Vector: Duh! Back at my place.
Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks EXACTLY LIKE IT!! [shows Vector the image on his laptop]
Vector: What the...? Those- Those girls sold me cookies!
Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be?! I give you the opportunity of a lifetime and you just blow it!
Vector: No, I didn’t.
Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?
Vector: Now you just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon! [opens his weapon case] Squid launcher! Oh, yeah! [fires a squid into the lobby, which lands on man off-screen]
Man: Aah! There's a squid on my face!
Vector: [chuckles and reloads his launcher] Don't worry. The Moon is as good as ours!
Gru: [trying to put the girls in bed] Come on now. It's bed time. [to Agnes] Did you brush your teeth? [Agnes nods] Let me smell, Let me smell... [Agnes opens her mouth; sniffs, but nearly gags] You did not! [Edith suddenly lands on him] Put on your PJs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it!
Edith: But we're not tired!
Gru: Well, I am tired!
Agnes: [holding the book Sleepy Kittens] Will you read us a bedtime story?
[silence]
Gru: [in a deep voice] No. [attempts to leave the room]
Agnes: Pretty please?
Gru: The physical appearance of the please makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep.
Edith: But we can't! We're all hyper!
Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you... All night long.
[pause]
Gru: [sighs; giving in] Fine.
Agnes: I like him. He's nice.
Edith: But scary. [turns off her light]
Agnes: Like Santa! [turns off her light]
[Gru is gathering the girls' toys in the hallway, when Dr. Nefario enters.]
Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours til the launch and all systems are go.
Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe wecould move the date of the heist.
Dr. Nefario: Please tell me that this not as a result of the girls' dance recital?
Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right?
Dr. Nefario: Gru! You and I have been working on this for years! It’s everything we’ve dreamed of! Your chance to make history: become “The Man Who Stole the Moon.” But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go! If you don’t do something about it, I will.
Gru: I understand. [leaves]
Dr. Nefario: Good.
[after the girls leave Gru's house]
Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let’s go get that Moon.
Gru: [sadly] Right.
Man: [stacks some chairs, rolling away] Sorry, buddy. Show's over.
Gru: [sadly] Over?
Gru: [leans into the camera lens] Listen close, you little punk! When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain!
Vector: [laughs, sarcastically] Ooh, I'm really scared!
[Enraged, Gru punches the camera screen, making Vector jump and fumble not to drop the moon.]
Agnes: [smugly] He is gonna kick your butt.
Vector: [grabs Margo] Not so fast!
Gru: [to Vector] No!
Margo: Let me go!
[Vector laughs as he tries to shoot Gru but gets hurt by the moon]
Gru: OK, girls, time for bed.
Edith: Ah, come on, we want a story.
Agnes: [excited] Three Sleepy Kittens!
Gru: Oh no, sorry, that book was accidentally destroyed maliciously.
[Kyle snorts]
Gru: Tonight, we are going to read a new book. [shows his homemade book to the girls] This one is called, One Big Unicorn! by Gru, Who wrote it? Oh, me! I wrote it! [opens the book] Oh, look, it's a puppet book. Hey, watch this. [sticks his nose through a small hole] That's the horn.
[the girls laugh along with Gru]
Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever.
Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but yes, it probably will be. [opens the book] Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around, and turned his whole life upside down."
Edith: [points to the page] Hey, that one looks like me!
Gru: [pulls back the book] No, what are you talking about? These are kittens. Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. [continues reading] "They made him laugh. Ho-ho! They made him cry. Aw! He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never part, from those three little kittens that changed his heart." [beats] The End. [closes the book] Okay then, all right. Goodnight!
[Gru starts to leave the girls' bedroom, but comes back and kisses Agnes and then Edith on the forehead; he bends over to kiss Margo, but she jumps up and throws her arms around his neck]
Margo: I love you.
Gru: [hugging her back; whispering] I love you too.
[watching the girls' dance recital]
Gru: They're very good.
Marlena: Ah, I'm so proud of you, son. You turned out to be a great parent. Just like me. [Gru rolls his eyes] Maybe even better. [Gru smiles]

About Despicable Me (film)

[edit]
  • Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like Dracula and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of James Bond, thinking of characters like Goldfinger and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology.

Taglines

[edit]
  • Superbad, Superbad
  • Some call him bad; they call him dad. (British tagline)
  • Who is afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)
  • Happy Father is Day
  • Just because he is a bad guy, does not mean he's a bad guy.
  • From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age two and Horton Hears a Who.
  • What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?
  • His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable.
  • It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot.

Cast

[edit]
[edit]
Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
  Films   Despicable Me (2010) · Despicable Me 2 (2013) · Despicable Me 3 (2017) · Despicable Me 4 (2024)  
  Spin‑offs   Minions (2015) · Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)  
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