Oz (TV series)

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Oz (1997-2003) is an American television show, that aired on HBO, about the inmates in the Oswald State Correctional Facility, formerly Oswald State Penitentiary, a fictional level 4 maximum-security state prison.

Directed by Tom Fontana.
You're inside now.

Season One[edit]

The Routine [1.1][edit]

Augustus Hill: Oz. That's the name on the street for the Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. Oz is retro. Oz is retribution. You wanna punish a man? Separate him from his family, separate him from himself, cage him up with his own kind. Oz is hard times doing hard time.

Augustus Hill: Timmy McManus. He created an experimental unit inside Oz, a new approach to the prison problem. Some people call it Emerald City. To me, it's a concentration camp.

Augustus Hill: See, in Em City, retribution gives way to redemption. Timmy boy believes he can save every one of us, from each other, from ourselves, from the system that dumped us in here. Only thing he don't get is, you gotta want to be saved.

Augustus Hill: Oz is where I live. Oz is where I will die, where most of us will die. What we were don't matter. What we are don't matter. What we become don't matter. Does it?

Joey D'Angelo: [about Groves] He ate his mother.
Nino Schibetta: Get the fuck out of here!
Joey D'Angelo: So I heard. He killed her, then he broiled her head. Smothered it in onions.
Dino Ortolani: What, no garlic?
Joey D'Angelo: He had his father in the freezer.
Nino Schibetta: Sick fuck! What the fuck's wrong with this country? In the old days, murder was murder. You killed someone, it was business. You sure as Christ didn't eat them.
Dino Ortolani: Times have changed, Nino.
Nino Schibetta: Fuck that. Times changed. Nothing changes. Nothing ever changes.

[after Beecher moves into Schillinger's pod]
Vernon Schillinger: You're not a Jew, are you?
Tobias Beecher: Me? Jewish? I don't even like Barbra Streisand.
Vernon Schillinger: You like my tattoos?
Tobias Beecher: Yeah.
Vernon Schillinger: We're gonna have to get you one.
Tobias Beecher: [laughs] I don't think so.
Vernon Schillinger: Oh, yeah, I'm gonna brand you myself.
Tobias Beecher: Livestock gets branded.
Vernon Schillinger: [chuckles] Livestock. Yeah, that's exactly what you are, my livestock. Because now, Tobias. Your ass belongs to me.

Tim McManus: In Em City we treat each other the way that we would like to be treated. We treat each other with respect.
Kareem Said: And what happens when one of us does not respect the other?
Tim McManus: There's violence.
Kareem Said: Then prison life isn't all that different from the outside world.
Tim McManus: Your celebrity status doesn't buy you any extra advantages here. All my prisoners are equal.
Kareem Said: How ironic. To finally be an equal in a place where I do not have the freedom to enjoy it.

Augustus Hill: People kill to stay alive. That's as true in prison as out. I wonder why in here we fight so hard to stay alive. A man gets sentenced to 100 years, he really thinks if he exercises, gets all buff, stays diesel, he's gonna walk out? A judge says life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. Without the possibility. Lifers. At some point they realize they ain't going nowhere. I seen it happen. A calm comes in their eyes. It's like they figured out something that the rest of us are never gonna see. They're suddenly free in a whole other kinda way. They're ready to die. And maybe they do what they can to help that shit along.

Dino Ortolani: Beecher, huh? I'm guessing you ain't Italian. What're you in for? Shaving strokes off your golf score?

Mike Healy: I'm telling you, Leo, fucking McManus is out of fucking control. He tells me yesterday he's thinking of starting a quiet time. You ready for that? An hour every day the cons gotta sit in silence. I mean, what's next? Milk and cookies? Arts and crafts?
Tim McManus: Maybe you should've listened to what I was saying, Healy. We gotta make 'em be quiet in here, because when they get out and get a job, they're gonna have to sit and do their work and be quiet.
Mike Healy: Oh, come on, man. What kind of fairy dust have you been snorting? These stupid fucks aren't gonna go work for fucking Microsoft.
Tim McManus: Bullshit. If an inmate survives Oz, he's got balls on the street. I wanna take some of the glamor away from that. I wanna take some of the glory away from that. Maybe a high school education, maybe to learn to fucking read.

Vern Schillinger: Dino, my friend. I've been looking for you.
Dino Ortolani: Yeah, what do you want, Schillinger?
Vern Schillinger: I heard you crippled Billie Keane. The Aryan Brotherhood is grateful.
Dino Ortolani: Swell.
Vern Schillinger: Just trying to give you a little jizz here.
Dino Ortolani: I don't need your jizz.
Vern Schillinger: Fuck you, then.
Dino Ortolani: Fuck you. What happened in the shower was between me and the fag boy had nothing to do with you, you fucking redneck scumbag. Why don't you take your fucking pure white ass and get the fuck away from me?
Vern Schillinger: Stupid greaseball.

Visits, Conjugal, and Otherwise [1.2][edit]

Augustus Hill: Fuck is a four letter word. Rape is a four letter word. Wife is a four letter word. So is love. Fuck is a curse. So is love.

Vern Schillinger: Come over here and ask me if you can fuck your wife. Come on, ask me! Now!
Tobias Beecher: Can I be with my wife?
Vern Schillinger: Fuck my wife.
Tobias Beecher: Fuck my wife.
Vern Schillinger: Louder, and say "please" and "sir".
Tobias Beecher: Please, sir, may I fuck my wife?
Vern Schillinger: Louder.
Tobias Beecher: Please, sir, may I fuck my wife!
Vern Schillinger: When you ask me like that, I can't deny you anything.

Lenny Burrano: Donald Groves. You killed your parents and ate them, right?
Donald Groves: I only ate my mom. I was saving my dad for Thanksgiving.
Lenny Burrano: That's festive.

Bob Rebadow: God comes to visit me every once in a while. Actually, he comes more often than I'd like but it's God. What can I say? That I'm busy, that I'm in the shower? He knows.
Lenny Burrano: We talking about a burning bush here?
Bob Rebadow: No, it's more like a strobe. A little too flashy, a little cheesy for my taste.

Augustus Hill: And love? Well, if sex is sweet and death is bitter, love is both. Love will always and forever break your heart.

Tim McManus: I'm gonna arrange for you to visit your wife in the hospital.
Nino Schibetta: That's very considerate of you. But forgive me, I'm cynical by nature. Why are you being so considerate to me?
Tim McManus: It's hard enough her being this ill without you being able to, uh...
Nino Schibetta: Say goodbye? What do you want from me?
Tim McManus: Your continued patience.
Nino Schibetta: You're gonna find out who killed Dino?
Tim McManus: Yes.
Nino Schibetta: And you're gonna bring him to justice.
Tim McManus: Now you're laughing at me.
Nino Schibetta: As I said, I'm a cynical bastard.

God's Chillin' [1.3][edit]

Augustus Hill: In the beginning, God was nothingness. So he started making stuff. He made the dirt, he made the sky, he made the water, he made things that swim, things that slither, things with legs. I mean, God turned himself into a big shot. Then, in a couple of days, or a couple of million years, he breathed life into man. And he's been sucking the life out of us ever since.

Augustus Hilll: There's some pain that you don't share. Some pain like your fingerprints that's all yours. All alone.

Tobias Beecher: If God is in me, he's a tumor.

Donald Groves: Wait, Father, maybe I'm a convert.
Ray Mukada: You can't become a Catholic just to get out of the hole. Come on.
Donald Groves: No, no, wait. I've been reading a lot since I got here about different faiths and yours is pretty nifty.
Ray Mukada: Catholicism is nifty?
Donald Groves: You have that whole mystical transabstentiation bit going.
Ray Mukada: That's right. The Eucharist becomes the body of Christ.
Donald Groves: So you're actually eating his flesh and drinking his blood.
Ray Mukada: That's right.
Donald Groves: Now how can I not get behind a religion like that?

Tim McManus: You are creating a lot of the tension that we're dealing with right here.
James Devlin: How am I doing that?
Tim McManus: Well, you ban smoking, you ban conjugals. Bit by bit you're stripping these men of their basic human needs.
James Devlin: This is a prison. These men are criminals. The whole point is to strip them of their basic human needs. If a kneejerk prissy liberal would see that we wouldn't be having the problems we're having today.
Tim McManus: The campaign is over, Governor, so get off your soapbox.
James Devlin: McManus, when you look at me, what do you see?
Tim McManus: A man.
James Devlin: You've heard of Olympus, right? Mount Olympus, ancient Greece, where the gods lived?
Tim McManus: Yeah.
James Devlin: Well, it was a hierarchy, even among the gods. Mercury was lesser than Apollo, Apollo lesser than Zeus. Now, you run your cellblock and you think you're a god. Glynn runs the whole prison, he thinks he's a greater god. Well, guys, I am Zeus. I am omnipotent. I must be obeyed...or my thunderbolts will strike.

Vern Schillinger: One of these Muslim monkeys was trying to tell me that Jesus was a nigger. He even quoted from the Bible trying to back his shit up.
Tobias Beecher: Well, Jesus was from Judea so he was probably of an olive-colored skin.
Vern Schillinger:Look at that picture there. Does that look like a nigger to you?
Tobias Beecher: No.
Vern Schillinger: You're getting awful mouthy, aren't you, prag?
Tobias Beecher: No, sir. I am not, sir.
Vern Schillinger: Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson. Polish my boots.
Tobias Beecher: Yes, sir.
Vern Schillinger: With your tongue.

Augustus Hill: God knows he's perfect and we're not and we can never be but he expects us to be. And he punishes us if we're not, you know what I'm saying? God is the ultimate gangster. The supremo boss, you know what I mean? Forgiveness, live by his code. Deadness, if we don't. Yo, he never has to talk to us face to face and he never has to explain exactly why he does what he does. Know what I'm saying? Nigger sits up there in Heaven somewhere, drinking a cappuccino, chilling... [singing] "Got the whole world in his hands." He got the whole world by the balls. In excelsius deo and all that shit.

Paul Markstrom: Yo, yo, Italian ice, what's up?
Simon Adebisi: You ever hear how the word "doo wop" came about?
Paul Markstrom: No, man, tell me about it.
Simon Adebisi: Well, over in Harlem back in the old days, a couple of Italians were giving muscle to a cat running a speakeasy. He was doing a set I think maybe of Billie Holiday. These Italians come into the club thinking maybe they can push a brother around, but instead this brother finds a blunt and outside in the alley, while Miss Billie Holiday is singing the blues, the brother do the wops. And that's how doo wop was born.
Joey D'Angelo: How'd you like Johnny Post's dick up your ass?
Simon Adebisi: How would you like to be dead?

Capital P [1.4][edit]

Vernon Schillinger: So the state's gonna let Keane choose which way he's gonna go out. Me, I'd take hanging.
Mark Mack: What about lethal injection?
Vernon Schillinger: That's for pussies.
Donald Groves: They say that lethal injection causes no pain. How do they know? Did someone come back from the dead and say they didn't feel anything?

Miguel Alvarez: Hey, Father. Where was God when my son died?
Ray Mukada: Same place he was when His own son died.

Diane Wittlesy: My ex was a big hunter, he was always going off with his buddies so I said to him one time to take me. After some complaining, he did. So I got there in the forest with this big hunky shotgun and I fired at a deer. Hit it dead on. So I went over to this thing and I leaned down and this deer looked up at me with these eyes, these eyes like flashlights. I knelt beside it and I held it's head and I whispered, "I'm sorry." And like batteries going bad the light in its eyes flickered a little bit and went out. For the next two years we were married, every time I walked into the den I had to look at this fucking deer's dead eyes. I had to dust them. When we got divorced that's all I asked for, the deer's head. Then I buried it.

Ray Mukada: If you love women so much, why do you kill them?
Richard L'italien: Because when you love someone, they own you, they possess you. I will not be possessed.
Ray Mukada: I'm here to give you absolution for your sins. Do you wish to be absolved?
Richard L'italien: Fuck, yes!

Augustus Hill: There's this brother on death row somewheres, he checked in when he was 16. He sat there another 16 years while the courts and lawyers argued about this and that. While he waited he painted a mural on his wall. For all those years he painted, not letting a soul see what he was up to. Finally, when he was 32 and had spent more life on death row than in his mama's house, all his appeals were exhausted. He was about to die. As he was about to be let out for the final time, he finally unveiled his masterpiece. All there was were six words. "Death is certain, life is not". The next day the hacks painted over it. Peace out.

Straight Life [1.5][edit]

Augustus Hill: I ain't saying drugs are good. But when your past is past and your present sucks and your future holds nothing but broken promises and dead dreams, the drugs'll kill the pain. Listen up, America, you ain't ever gonna get rid of drugs until you cure pain.

Nino Schibetta: I always thought Keane and Markstrom were holding you back. From the get-go, you were a guy that sees how the world gets made. Adebisi. Ends in "I". Sure you're not Italian?
Simon Adebisi: Schibetta ends in "A". Maybe you African.

Scott Ross: [to Schillinger] I'm gonna give you ten minutes to get your hands off my dick.

Bob Rebadow: I'm sorry that you're ill.
Kareem Said: And who told you that I was ill?
Bob Rebadow: God.
Kareem Said: Oh, yes. You talk to God.
Bob Rebadow: When he's in town.
Kareem Said: Well, in Islam, we believe that only two people spoke to God directly. Mohammad], and praise be to him, and Moses. So, you see, you are in excellent company.
Bob Rebadow: You think I'm lying or deluded.
Kareem Said: Oh, yes.
Bob Rebadow: I may well be. I do know sometimes I can see inside men's souls.
Kareem Said: And can you see into mine, old man?
Bob Rebadow: Yes.
Kareem Said: And what is there?
Bob Rebadow: Anger.
Kareem Said: Yes, I am angry. I am angry at a society that cripples my people and infects their bodies.
Bob Rebadow: No, you're angry at God.
Kareem Said: I am not. My illness is Allah's will and I accept the bad as well as the good that God gives me.
Bob Rebadow: Still, you're angry at him and afraid. Afraid of dying.
Kareem Said: That is not true.
Bob Rebadow: You watched Jefferson Keane die, die gladly. Keane embraced death like a lover, like a traveler going home. You saw that and you were afraid. You realized you aren't as willing to go.

Vern Schillinger: [upon seeing Beecher dressed in drag] My God! You're even prettier than I thought you'd be!

To Your Health [1.6][edit]

Augustus Hill: Do we care for people when they're sick because we actually care about them? Or do we care for them because when our time comes, we want someone to care for us?

Augustus Hill: 'At least you got your health.' Don't you hate that? You lose your job, you lose your wife, YOU'RE IN PRISON, and some punk ass do gooder says 'At least you got your health' like that's supposed to make you FEEL better! So what if I'm broke? So what if some dealer wants to cap my ass; at least I ain't got a tumor. I swear, the next person to say ALYGYH to me, I'ma make sure they don't have THEIR health much longer.

Simon Adebisi: You are a sick motherfucker, O'Reily.
Ryan O'Reily: Coming from you, that's a compliment.

Augustus Hill: All those little aches and pains eventually, they add up to something. Body - body, mind, they gotta work together or they don't work at all. You gotta take care of your body. You gotta take care of your mind. You gotta LOVE your body. Most people don't. Most people HATE their bodies. You gotta get your MIND to love your body. Even if you're fat around the middle, or even if things don't work like they're supposed to - you've gotta LOVE your body. 'Cause it's all you've got to hold on to. It's all you've got. I'll make a deal with you: I'll love your body, if you love mine.

Donald Groves: This is my tooth. It was in my head. This tooth and I have been together since we were kids. This tooth chewed on my mom.
Scott Ross: You should sell it.
Donald Groves: Sell it?
Scott Ross: Sell it. The tooth from the mouth of Donald Groves? Do you know how much that's worth on the open market?
Donald Groves: How much?
Scott Ross: Plenty.
Donald Groves: Who'd wanna buy my tooth?
Scott Ross: Collectors.
Donald Groves: Collectors?
Scott Ross: Collectors. People collect everything. Stamps, salt and pepper shakers, World's Fair tchochkes. Some people collect crime stuff. Lindbergh ladder, Ted Bundy's toenail clippings, and this.
Donald Groves: We'd have to get a fence, right?
Scott Ross: We're in prison. How hard's that gonna be?
Donald Groves: Ross, if we get a good price, I still got 30 more.

Plan B [1.7][edit]

Kareem Said: Huseini Mershah! You saw that I was dying and yet you walked away. I think you wanted me to die!
[Mershah tries to deny it]
Kareem Said: No! This man is not our brother. He is our enemy. As of this moment, this man is cast out. No Muslim will speak to him, look him in the eye or acknowledge him. [to Mershah] You wanted the death of another? Right now, you're dead to us all.

Tobias Beecher: You've got to transfer me to another cell block.
Tim McManus: All the other cell blocks are full.
Tobias Beecher: Well transfer me to another prison.
Tim McManus: Do I look like a travel agent to you?

Loretta Smith: I'm Loretta Smith. You killed my son. You're a handsome fellow.
Donald Groves: Thanks.
Loretta Smith: You broke God's law: Love thy neighbour. I wanna hate you but I can't. I feel pity, tears, but no hate. I didn't realize that until this moment. You are my neighbour and I love you. And I forgive you with all my heart. That's all.

Eddie Hunt: To Lawrence Smith. A fine man who died too young.
Diane Wittlesey: Yeah. Amen.
Eddie Hunt: Here's to Donald Groves, a freak of nature who lived too long.
Diane Wittlesey: Yeah, probably.
Eddie Hunt: I killed a man who killed a man. I killed a man. Only maybe I didn't kill him, because they put blanks in one of the rifles so maybe-- I mean, I can never know for sure if I killed him or not. Only not knowing is maybe worse than knowing. Because at least if I knew--
Diane Wittlesey: Eddie. Go home.

[Beecher confronts Schillinger in the gym]
Vernon Schillinger: You're gonna die!
Tobias Beecher: Not today!
[Beecher kicks Schillinger in the groin, then bashes his head with a dumbbell, then proceeds to tie him up with a crowd cheering him on]
Ryan O'Reily: Yeah, tie that motherfucking Nazi up!
[Beecher then takes a bench and slams it onto Schillinger's chest, then pulls down his pants]
Tobias Beecher: Hey, motherfucker, you remember THIS!
[proceeds to defecate onto Schillinger's face, the crowd cheers]
Ryan O'Reily: Ah, he SHIT on him!
[Beecher laughs diabolically]
Tobias Beecher: Sieg heil, baby! Sieg fucking heil!

A Game of Checkers [1.8][edit]

Augustus Hill: Remember when your High School History teacher said "The course of human events changes because of the deeds of great men"?. Well the bitch was lying. Fuck Caesar, fuck Lincoln, fuck Mahatma Gandhi. The world keeps turning because of me and you: the anonymous. Revolutions start because people don't have enough bread. Wars start over a game of Checkers.

Vern Schillinger: I had a visit from my sons. They're almost, out of their teens now, almost men. Live with their grandfather, the man who taught me everything I know about hate. Yesterday, my boys sat there across from me, ranting and raging. They were both fucked up on drugs. They know I hate drugs. But I'm in here because I hate drugs and 'cause I love them. I yelled at them and they they just laughed. They laughed at me. It's funny, you know, with one eye, I can see finally that they are becoming the men I made them. I got about three months, 'til I'm up for parole.. All I want is to get our of here be there for them. Try to help my kids, that's all.
Tim McManus: If I put you back into Em City, you'll kill Beecher.
Vern Schillinger: If I wanted him dead, he'd already be dead.
Tim McManus: You say you've changed. Why should I believe you?
Vern Schillinger: [smiles] Trust me, McManus. You lose an eye, you get kicked in the balls, you get a face full of shit, you become a different man.

Tim McManus: Schillinger's back in Emerald City. He says he won't harm you. Tell me you won't harm him.
Tobias Beecher: He burnt a swastika into my flesh. He made me rip up pictures of my family. He made me eat the pages of a law book. He made me wear women's makeup. And, he fucked me up the ass.
Tim McManus: I know.
Tobias Beecher: So now I just forgive him?
Tim McManus: Yes.
Tobias Beecher: Could you?
Tim McManus: Yes.
Tobias Beecher: All right. I forgive him.

Tobias Beecher: Hello! If you don't mind, I gotta take a shit.
Vern Schillinger: Beecher, listen...
Tobias Beecher: Hey! You know, I'm standing in here thinking about all the good times we had, you and me.
Vern Schillinger: I don't wanna fight.
Tobias Beecher: Oh, no. Course not. You get into a fight, you fuck up your parole. And I hear for the next three months, you're gonna be a good little boy, so you can get outta Oz, see your two sons. You know, I think that's great. But, you know what I'm wondering? What if Vern doesn't get out? What if, as he comes up for parole, he gets into a brawl, a knock-down, drag-out with his old roomie? What if every time he comes up for parole, Vern gets into some ugly incident and has to serve his entire sentence? And his two sons, they become monsters. That's what I'm wondering about. Prag.

Kareem Said: I'm gonna try one more time with you, McManus. Now, I am not saying that the men in Oz are innocent. I am saying they are not here because of the crimes that they committed, but because of the color of their skin, the lack of education, the fact that they are poor. You see, this riot is not about getting smoking back, conjugal rights, it's not even about life in prison. It's about society taking responsibility. It's about the whole horrid judicial system. And we don't need more prisons, bigger prisons, better prisons. We need better justice. Now what can you do about that?

Tim McManus: Said, I grew up in a small town, upstate New York. There was only one major industry there, the prison. Everybody's parents either worked at the prison or made a living from, you know, motels, gas stations, or, like my dad, had a diner. Right across the street. It was the fall, we'd just gone back to school, I was about to turn ten. I was very, very excited. A few days before my birthday, though, there was this riot. And it lasted four days. But then the Governor authorized 2500 troops, state troopers, to go back in, take it back. They did, firing at anything that moved. So when the tear gas cleared, 31 inmates and 9 hostages were dead.
Kareem Said: Attica.
Tim McManus: Three of my friends' fathers were shot. Instead of going to a birthday party, I went with my family to a memorial service.
Kareem Said: So that's what this is all about. Emerald City is your birthday party.

[during the riot, the C.O.s are taken hostage]
Eddie Hunt: This is all your fucking fault, McManus.
Diane Wittlesey: Shut up, Eddie.
Eddie Hunt: No, Goddammit. If I'm gonna die, at least I want the bastard that got me whacked to know it.
Ray Mukada: How can you blame Tim?
Eddie Hunt: How? 'Cause all this Emerald City bullshit. 'Cause Tim thought he could help these cocksuckers. I've seen you in action, man. I've seen you fumble the fucking ball every single play. I just hope if we do die, I get to watch you go first.

Augustus Hill: Yeah, who cares who lives or dies in prison? We read their names in the morning paper and they mean nothing to us! They're faceless! Truth is we don't want to put a face on them! We don't want to know who they really are because then it might hit too close to home. And home is what it's all about, right? Making a home no matter where you are, no matter who you are. At the end of the day, all of us need somewhere to rest. Somewhere to lay our bones. Even if it's in a land called Oz. Yeah, like Dorothy says when she wakes up in her own bed back at Aunt Em's: "There's no place like home. There's no fucking place like home."

Season Two[edit]

The Tip [2.1][edit]

Alvah Case: Ryan O'Reily. Vehicular manslaughter, reckless endangerment, possession of controlled substances, possession of a deadly weapon, violation of parole. That's an amazing list of crimes.
Ryan O'Reily: Well, you know, I applied myself.

Alvah Case: You can't have it both ways, governor! If the prisoners are guilty, so are you.
James Devlin: This is not the attitude I expect from my next Attorney-General.
Alvah Case: You know something. I don't want to be Attorney-General. I want to be GOVERNOR!
James Devlin: What?
Alvah Case: I'll see you on the campaign trail, Devlin.

James Robson: Oh, great. More Em City prags. You fucks have a hissy fit, now the rest of us gotta sleep on top of each other. Hear me boys, hear me good. This is my cell, this is my bunk. You got a problem with that?

Simon Adebisi: Dr. Nathan. Doctor, the last time I had a woman tie me down like this, I married her.

Ancient Tribes [2.2][edit]

Gloria Nathan: You may have breast cancer.
Ryan O'Reily: (laughs) That's funny.
Gloria Nathan: I'm not kidding.
Ryan O'Reily: Breast cancer? Girls get breast cancer.
Gloria Nathan: Men do too. It's rare, especially at your age, but it does happen.
Ryan O'Reily: I'm not a fag, you know. I've been in this shithole for over a year, and I ain't ever taken it up the ass!
Gloria Nathan: No one is saying that you have!
Ryan O'Reily: Bullshit! You're telling me I've got a chick's disease!
Gloria Nathan: Men have breasts, the same as women.
Ryan O'Reily: What the fuck you talking about? I ain't got breasts, I got a chest! (pulls open his shirt) See it? Huh, see it?!

Tobias Beecher: Who are you?
Agamemnon Busmalis: Agamemnon Busmalis, a.k.a. 'The Mole'.
Bob Rebadow: The Mole?
Agamemnon Busmalis: I dig. I can dig anywhere. I'm gonna dig my way out of Oz.

Tobias Beecher: Reading Mein Kampf? Let me tell you how it ends. The Aryans get their asses kicked!

Tobias Beecher: Thank God I'm crazy, 'cause I don't give a shit!

Vern Schillinger: So, thank you for last night.
Diane Wittlesey: You wanted Beecher dead, right?
Vern Schillinger: Yeah, I wanted him dead.
Diane Wittlesey: You paid me, right? Two grand?
Vern Schillinger: Yeah.
Diane Wittlesey: Wanna see the body?
Vern Schillinger: Shit. Yeah.
Diane Wittlesey: All right. In here. [She takes him into a room, Beecher walks in.]
Vern Schillinger: What the fuck?
Tobias Beecher: Nice try, Vern baby.
Vern Schillinger: Beecher. [McManus and some COs come in.]
Tim McManus: Got anything to say?
Vern Schillinger: About what? I don't know what you're talking about.
[Diane plays tape recording]
Diane Wittlesey: You wanted Beecher dead, right?
Vern Schillinger: Yeah, I wanted him dead. [tape recording stops]
Tim McManus: You can forget about your parole hearing. Instead, get yourself a good lawyer. We're charging you with conspiracy to commit murder.
Vern Schillinger: This is bullshit. I'm being set up.
Tim McManus: Take him to the Hole.

Leo Glynn: All right. Starting next month, the librarian will be available in the library from one to five PM Monday to Friday only.
Miguel Alvarez: Yeah, that's 'cause the rest of the time she gonna be with me.
Leo Glynn: What did you say?
Miguel Alvarez: Nothing. [Glynn signals the COs to remove Alvarez]

Miguel Alvarez: It's ten to 4:00, man.
Leo Glynn: Yeah?
Miguel Alvarez: Well, I haven't done dick all day, man. I been standing here. My mother and my sisters are coming in ten minutes.
Leo Glynn: You're right. You haven't done dick all day. Clean my bathroom.
Miguel Alvarez: What?
Leo Glynn: Clean the bathroom. The floor, the sink, scrub the toilet. When you're done, when it's spotless, go meet your family.
Miguel Alvarez: You fucking with me?
Leo Glynn: You're right, I'm fucking with you. The mop and the bucket are in there.

Peter Schibetta: All rats know when to desert a sinking ship. He's a smart one, but a rat just the same. Keep an eye on him.

Simon Adebisi: You tell that Guinea fuck something for me, then. [uncovers rat trapped in a box, then stabs it with a carving fork] We got rats.

Great Men [2.3][edit]

Shirley Bellinger: [looking around her new cell] How comfy.

Ryan O'Reily: I can't figure out why the fuck you care, but I'm glad you do. No one's ever given a shit about me my whole life, so I'm not very good at saying thanks.

Ryan O'Reily: Would you fucking relax?
Shannen O'Reily: Don't get pissy with me! I'm the one who's thinking of you!

Vern Schillinger: We can rule Oz!

Augustus Hill: Evil is the only thing that has survived intact these past thousand years.

Augustus Hill: The end of the century is coming, y'all! End of the millennium. A lot of lists being printed about who's the greatest person of the past 1,000 years. By great, they mean who had the most impact, Einstein, Edison, Freud. I can tell you one thing for sure. My name won't be on that list. Neither will anyone else's here in Oz.

Miguel Alvarez: Hey, Rebadow. Y'know, I think I got you. I think I got a piece of information for you.
Bob Rebadow: Really?
Miguel Alvarez: Mm-hmm. It's about Glynn and his daughter.
Bob Rebadow: You mean that she was brutally raped and is in the hospital?
Miguel Alvarez: Shit, how'd you know that? Well, I know one thing I know you don't know.
Bob Rebadow: What's that?
Miguel Alvarez: Who raped Glynn's daughter.
Bob Rebadow: You're right, I don't.
Miguel Alvarez: Yeah, I do.
Bob Rebadow: How do you know who did it?
Miguel Alvarez: Oh, that's because I was just talking to him on the phone.

Peter Schibetta: Leo, we're sorry to hear about your daughter.
Leo Glynn: Does everybody know?
Peter Schibetta: Pretty much, yeah. Look, I can persuade Alvarez to give up the name of the prick who did this.
Leo Glynn: No, thanks.
Peter Schibetta: Why not? Hey, why not? Why not?
Leo Glynn: First, I don't want to owe you any more favors. And second, and I know you won't understand this, but it's not right.
Peter Schibetta: Right, wrong, right, wrong. There's such a fine line between it.
Leo Glynn: Not for me.

Timmy Kirk: Excellent, man. Little nigga can read.

Losing Your Appeal [2.4][edit]

Kareem Said: Quickest way to find the needle: burn the haystack.

Judge Grace Lema: I've been a judge for 16 years. I've made over 2500 decisions. Most of them were good. But only one has haunted me. Yours. You see, I've always prided myself on being fair. That in my court, justice was truly blind. But in your case, that little girl, her parents crying, you being a member of the bar, your prior arrest for DUl, the senselessness of it all, it caught up with me. I was quick-tempered and spiteful to the point where I can't tell if I gave you a fair trial. Now seeing you like this, I-- I think maybe the punishment exceeded the crime. And I'm...well...
Tobias Beecher: You're what? Sorry? Your Honour, you used all your power to crush me. But the truth is, I did kill Cathy Rockwell. And as much as I tried to manipulate the legal system to get off, to get out of it, I took her life. According to the law, each crime is worth a certain number of years. You gave me a maximum of 15 years in this fuckhole! Is that too much? Too harsh? Not enough? I don't know. You say you're haunted by what you did? Well, so am I. And if you came here for me to forgive you you've come to the wrong man. He ceased to exist the day Cathy Rockwell did. And you're not gonna get any more peace out of him than I do out of her.

Augustus Hill: What makes us wanna fuck somebody? ls it the colour of their eyes, the shape of their legs, the spike of their heels? Or is it what the poets tell us? That there's something deeper, a shared loss. A longing to find someone who knows the depth of our sadness. Some people search their whole lives for that someone. Some find them, some don't. Some fool themselves into believing they're in love. And in Oz, most times, the illusion is better than reality.

Kareem Said: The only reason Judge Lima is overruling all my objections is racism.
Augustus Hill: Oh. It couldn't be because most of your objections are stupid. Right? No, it couldn't be because maybe you're not as good a lawyer as you think you are.
Kareem Said: Do you want to replace me? You wanna get Beecher to take up our cause?
Augustus Hill: Our cause? This is not our cause, this is my fucking life! I am not you, man! I don't want to be a martyr or a fucking saint! All I want is to get out of here and be free. Either you can do that or you leave me the fuck alone! Goddammit!

Family Bizness [2.5][edit]

Augustus Hill: Families! Our families determine who we are, determine what we're not. How we relate to other people is based on the way we relate to the members of our families. No wonder the world's so fucked up.

Simon Adebisi: Hey. So I spread this rat poison all over the place.
Peter Schibetta: You shoulda used the traps. Now the rats crawl into the fucking walls to die. We'll smell the stench for a fucking week. Not that you notice anything smells bad, Adebisi.
Simon Adebisi: Little Nino, when you say things like that, it hurts. I just wanna be friends.
Peter Schibetta: Friends, huh? Okay, pal-o-mine, how's about you go into the kitchen and get me a chocolate bar?

Augustus Hill: Because we share the same blood with our family, we can ask them to do anything. Anything! Lie, cheat, take a bullet. Only, don't ask to borrow their new Lexus. 'Cause then my man, you're crossing the line !

Augustus Hill: Every once in a while, I remember something I did when I was a child. Or something that was done to me, by my father, or my brother, or a cousin. Some injury. Some humiliation. And it seems like... it happened to another person, a century or two ago. I'm not really sure if what I remember really took place at all. You can't build your life, relying on the perception of a little boy, or the echos of some memory. Nah. You got to let all that shit go. You gotta start, fresh. Every single day. You have got to start again.

Kareem Said: You're packed.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: No, I decided I didn't want to take anything outta this place.
Kareem Said: So no last meal? No goodbyes to anybody. Just see ya, have a nice life.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: It's kinda fucked up, leaving. Everybody else is staying. It's like waking up from a dream.
Kareem Said: Hope is a waking dream.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Who that, Mohammad?
Kareem Said: Aristotle.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Well, that fuck ain't never served no time in Oz.

Leo Glynn: What happened?
Dr. Gloria Nathan: Schibetta was brought in, vomiting and pissing blood. My guess is he was poisoned.
Leo Glynn: Christ.
Peter Schibetta: I want Adebisi. I want you to deliver Adebisi to me.
Leo Glynn: No.
Peter Schibetta: No?
Leo Glynn: No! If Adebisi did this, I'll punish him, not you.
Peter Schibetta: Leo...
Leo Glynn: Don't call me Leo!
Peter Schibetta: Is that a threat or a joke?
Leo Glynn: My brother has turned himself in. You and I are done. Capice?

Strange Bedfellows [2.6][edit]

Peter Schibetta: You tell them I'm gonna handle Adebisi. I'm gonna get my honour back. By the end of today, either that fucking moolie or me is gonna be in a body bag.

Miguel Alvarez: El Cid, it's an honor, man.
Raoul "El Cid" Hernandez: Tu es Latino?
Miguel Alvarez: Si.
Raoul "El Cid" Hernandez: They lied to you, man. You're too fucking white to be Latino. Get the fuck out of my face.

Gloria Nathan: I became a doctor to help people. Now, I know that that sounds like a cliche, it sounds naive, but it's true. I could have a fancy practice anywhere, but instead I chose to work at Oz. I saved your life, O'Reily. And in return, you destroyed mine.

Lenny Burrano: Pancamo and Schibetta were found unconscious, Schibetta's rectum bleeding. Could've been raped.
Leo Glynn: What do you mean "could've"?
Lenny Burrano: He says he doesn't know what happened. He won't talk about it.
Leo Glynn: No, he knows. He's too ashamed to admit he took one up the ass. He won't talk, he'll just get even. I'm gonna fire the CO that let this happen. [Glynn walks off]
Lenny Burrano: Peter. Peter. I just talked to the family. You're out. Somebody else is gonna be taking over operations here in Oz.
Peter Schibetta: Lenny. Don't tell my father, ok?
Lenny Burrano: Huh?
Peter Schibetta: Don't tell my father.

Miguel Alvarez: You shoulda been there, man. Pancamo, out for the count. Schibetta's eyes wide open. His mind is shit.
Carmen "Chico" Guerra: He got raped. By who?
Miguel Alvarez: What's up, partner?
Simon Adebisi: Partners, eh?
Miguel Alvarez: Yeah.
Simon Adebisi: You and me. We're fucking partners. I said you could help me kill the dago. You didn't do shit.
Carmen "Chico" Guerra: Yo, man, you always let him diss you, man. You afraid of him, ese?
Miguel Alvarez: Yo, fuck you. I ain't afraid of nobody, all right?

Chris Keller: Moonshine. 101% pure alcohol. It's like the old West. Cowboy gets shot, you gotta remove the bullet. You take a couple snorts of this shit, you're not gonna feel anything.

Ryan O'Reily: McManus, you gotta see that I love her, man.
Tim McManus: Love? What the fuck do you know about love?
Ryan O'Reily: Well, what do you know, huh? What do any of us?
Tim McManus: I know it's not a reason to commit murder.
Ryan O'Reily: Yeah, well then, maybe you've never really been in love.

Ryan O'Reily: Hey Schibetta, today's lunch special is arsenic.

Animal Farm [2.7][edit]

Hill: Hey Schillinger.
Vern Schillinger: What do you want?
Hill: How much would it cost to mail me out of here?
Vern Schillinger: Mail you? What are you talking about?
Hill: I've been trying to think of ways to get out of here.
Vern Schillinger: Escape from Oz?
Hill: Yeah. And I figured, you know, you could box me up in a crate and mail me to my wife overnight express, Priority Mail, whatever. How much would that cost? Postage, shipping, handling, et cetera?
Vern Schillinger: Are you serious?
Hill: Yeah.
Vern Schillinger: Then you're nuts.
Hill: Is that a no?
Vern Schillinger: Yeah. No. No, yeah, it's a no. Get the fuck out of here before I tip you over.
Hill: All right, Vern, I ain't mad at you. You can't help it if you're ugly and stupid.

Busmalis: Relax. You're suffering from PBS.
Rebadow: PBS?
Busmalis: Pre-Bunny Syndrome. It happens quite often in my line of work. You dig and dig and dig, and just before you have to make like a little bunny and go through the hole, you panic.
Rebadow: This is real? Pre-Bunny Syndrome?
Busmalis: Oh, yeah. I mean, I made the name up, but sure.

Alvarez: They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
Officer Rivera: The fuck you talking about?
Alvarez: Nice to see you.

Said: Beecher, don't do this.
Tobias Beecher: Do what?
Said: Drink.
Tobias Beecher: You like to dabble in peoples' lives, huh? Because you're so much better than us, because you've seen the light. You've seen the face of God. So you wave your dick around trying to help us lowly mortals. Hill, Mershah, Groves, Jefferson Keane. Fuck, you helped Jefferson Keane right into a lethal injection. So in the end, when all is said and done, who have you really fucking helped? Other than yourself?
Said: [proudly] Poet.
Tobias Beecher: Poet? I just saw on the news, he killed a man. He's coming back to Oz.

Adebisi: Sometimes it's good to be human.

Shirley Bellinger: Well, I'll be. Simon thinks of everything.
Simon Adebisi: Shirley, you like your cake?
Shirley Bellinger: Yes.
Simon Adebisi: Happy birthday, baby.
Shirley Bellinger: You're Simon?
Simon Adebisi: [pulls down pants] Quickly, before the hacks come.
Shirley Bellinger: But...
Simon Adebisi: What?
Shirley Bellinger: You're a nigger.
Simon Adebisi: [hurt and angered] Suck my dick now.
CO: Get the fuck away from her! What the fuck are you doing? Tony, Al!
CO 2: Adebisi, move!
Simon Adebisi: Suck my dick now.

Escape From Oz [2.8][edit]

Bob Rebadow: In all my years at Oz, I've learned one rule: accept the hand you're dealt.

Jonathan Coushaine: I say we institute a "no swearing" rule.
El Cid: Fuck you.
Augustus Hill: Suck my dick.
Kenny Wangler: Asswipe.
Ryan O'Reily: Cocksucker.
Chucky Pancamo: You stupid cunt.
Jaz Hoyt: Putz.
McManus: If nobody has anything more intelligent to say, this meeting is adjourned.

Reporter: Mr. Said, how do you feel?
Kareem Said: How do I feel? I feel joyless. My brothers remain behind. Imprisoned, suppressed. I don't just mean my Muslim brothers, I mean every single man that will sleep in here tonight, that was cut off from everything that he loves. Cut off from his own self. You know, as the word went around that the Governor was gonna give somebody clemency, I saw a rift develop as each inmate wished himself to be the chosen one. The longing to be free became as palpable as the food that we eat. But it is a meal that I am being served right now. And I am Muslim. And Allah does not allow me to swallow certain things. Allah does not allow me to take scraps from the hands of a man such as this. A man who is corrupt and immoral. A man who denigrates the gift of clemency just as he violates the principles of justice. A man that gave the order that caused the death of eight people. And so, Governor Devlin, because even the cost of freedom can be too high, I refuse your pardon!

Vern Schillinger: How do you live with yourself?
Robert Sippel: How do you?
Vern Schillinger: Whatever I've done, I've done for righteous reasons. Any laws I've broken don't deserve to be laws. But you, you fucking baby raper! You should be dead.
Diane Wittlesey: Back in your cage, Schillinger. Don't make me use this. You wouldn't want me to enjoy myself, now would you?
Robert Sippel: Thank you, Officer.
Diane Wittlesey: Just doing my job, pal. For once I agree with that Nazi fuck.

Ryan O'Reily: McManus! I fucked up a lot of people's lives.
Tim McManus: Yeah.
Ryan O'Reily: My brother Cyril got slow because of me. We were at this funeral and there was this chick there that I used to date. [Flashbacks of Cyril being injured as Ryan talks.] She was there with her new boyfriend, some wise guy. But she and me, we're still hot for each other. Cyril got brain-damaged defending me. When the doctors told me that Cyril would never be the same again, that he would have the mind of a five-year-old, fuck, it crushed me. So I got wasted. I lost control. Everything I've done since I've gotten here was to protect my ass so I could make parole. But what I feel for Gloria, it blinded me. So I lost control again. So now Cyril's in Oz and he's gonna be here for 60 years and he got raped by Schillinger and he's afraid. So I gotta stay here with Cyril. I gotta protect my brother. For once in my fucking life, I'm gonna be his big brother.
Tim McManus: You had Cyril kill Gloria's husband?
Ryan O'Reily: Yes.
Tim McManus: You'll be brought up on charges.
Ryan O'Reily: That's what I deserve.

[Discussion in Emerald City after Beecher gets incapacitated by Keller and Schillinger]
Jonathan Coushaine: They broke both his arms and his legs?
Jaz Hoyt: Hey, what's he do if he gets an itch?
Chucky Pancamo: He looked like a fucking pretzel.
Bob Rebadow: That's because he was in love with Keller.
Agamemnon Busmalis: Love hurts.
Kareem Said: Schillinger did this.
Ryan O'Reily: Fucking Schillinger did this, man.
Kenny Wangler: Yo, I want to move in here.
Junior Pierce: Why?
Kenny Wangler: It's a better view.
Tim McManus: How'd this happen? Who took Beecher to the gym?
Karl Metzger: I don't know, but I'll find out.

Season Three[edit]

The Truth And Nothing But... [3.1][edit]

Augustus Hill: The name on the street for the Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. Only, big news: They've changed the name. It's now called the Oswald State Correctional Facility, level four. I don't know what the difference is. Leo Glynn is still warden, Sister Peter Marie is still in psych, Tim McManus is still unit manager of Emerald City, and I know for damn sure none of us have changed. Beecher is still in the hospital after Schillinger and Keller broke his bones. Alvarez is still in solitary after blinding a CO. Adebisi, still in the loony ward, after changing hats. Maybe it's truth in advertising. Maybe by getting rid of the word "penitentiary" the state is finally admitting that nobody's penitent. Nobody's sorry. Nobody.

Vern Schillinger: It's called "miscegenation." Mixing of the races. That's m-i-s-c-e-g-e-n-a-t-i-o-n. I get that spelling right?

Tim McManus: I may be blind, but I'm not dumb.

Tim McManus: Metzger, I know who you are. I know what you are.
Karl Metzger: All I am is a highly trained underpaid member of the Correctional Officers Benevolent Association. But if I am what you think I am you should tiptoe.
Tim McManus: Is that a threat?
Karl Metzger: I'm merely reminding you who your friends are. Remember who you want standing next to you when one of these fucks comes after you with a knife.

Tim McManus: So before Metzger came to town, he lived in Montana where he was part of the White Supremacy Warriors.
Sister Peter Marie: You sure of this, Tim?
Tim McManus: I got a friend who works in the FBI who verified it.
Leo Glynn: Even so, you can't fire a man for what he did 15 years ago. I need proof that he's in cahoots with Vern Schillinger, that he's responsible for what happened to Busmalis, Beecher, and the others.
Tim McManus: Nobody will testify against Metzger.
Leo Glynn: Well, the union's not gonna let us do anything without evidence. He's also very popular with the other CO's. I don't need any more morale problems.
Tim McManus: So we let him stay on board till maybe he kills somebody?
Leo Glynn: I have no choice.
Tim McManus: Even though he thinks of you as a nigger?
Leo Glynn: What did you say?
Tim McManus: A nigger.
Leo Glynn: If you're trying to piss me off, you're succeeding. I don't want Metzger in this building one minute longer than you do. But if I'm going to take him down, I'm gonna need ammunition.
Tim McManus: All right. I'll see what I can do.

Augustus Hill: Truth is a powerful thing. It can right a wrong, or make a bad thing worse. In Oz the truth is, if the facts don't fit the truth, fuck the facts.

Napoleon's Boney Parts [3.2][edit]

Tim McManus: At Attica, you organized a boxing program, right?
Sean Murphy: Yeah.
Tim McManus: Maybe we could try something like that here.
Sean Murphy: Great, now all we need is time, gloves, and a good insurance policy.

Augustus Hill: I used to box.
Ryan O'Reily: Where? In the Special Olympics?

Vern Schillinger: (upon hearing that Keller was stabbed in the back) Mr. Keller's got about three or four assholes now!

Augustus Hill: Napoleon's final defeat came at Waterloo. Must've been embarrassing. He was the fucking emperor, he conquered all of Europe, only to lose at a place with a stupid name like Waterloo. Or Watergate or Whitewater. Note to politicians: stay on land.

Augustus Hill: Hey, Coyle.
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: Call me Snake.
Augustus Hill: I changed my mind, man.
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: What? Ain't nothing like a clean shave, a close shave. Ah, ah, ah, don't squirm, you gonna make me nick your neck. So what you in here for, Augustus?
Augustus Hill: Murder. I killed a cop.
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: Sweet. But I got you beat. See, I whacked a whole family. Mama, daddy, two little sweet adorable kids. Sweet old grams.
Augustus Hill: What'd this family do to you?
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: Not a thing.
Augustus Hill: Then why you kill 'em?
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: For fun.
Augustus Hill: How you kill 'em?
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: Take a guess.
Augustus Hill: You slit their throats. Why you fucking with me, man?
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: I ain't fucking with you.
Augustus Hill: You up in Oz for armed robbery.
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: That I am. See, I never got caught for the murders. And never will.
Augustus Hill: Gimme my wheelchair, man.
Malcolm "Snake" Coyle: Yes, sir. Yessuh, massa. We aim to please.

Bob Rebadow: Mom's fudge. My mother makes the best fudge. She sends me a batch once a month.

Legs [3.3][edit]

Augustus Hill: In my 'hood, you had to learn to run before you learned to walk.

Antonio Nappa: Why would you want to transfer out of the cafeteria to take care of a bunch of fags?
Simon Adebisi: Don't like fags?
Antonio Nappa: What do you think?
Simon Adebisi: Out there, I hated them. But here sometimes you need your dick sucked.
Antonio Nappa: That's one of the many differences between you and me. I got self-control.

Gloria Nathan: You're HIV-positive.
Antonio Nappa: What?
Gloria Nathan: I'm sorry.
Antonio Nappa: Doctor, that is not possible. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only way to get AIDS is by having sex or sharing a needle. I haven't done either, and I'm not Haitian.

Sister Peter Marie: I know that Tobias was in love with you and that you broke his arms and his legs.
Chris Keller: Jesus Christ, you put it that way it makes me sound so cold.

Ryan O'Reily: Jesus Christ. Why they gotta show that?
Carmen "Chico" Guerra: Don't be a vag, O'Reily.
Ryan O'Reily: Hey, pal, I'm no vag but why they gotta put that stuff on TV?
Bob Rebadow: It's evidence in Coyle's trial.
Ryan O'Reily: Evidence, fine. But show it in the Goddamned courtroom and not on the fucking local news. Hey how would you like it if you came home, you put the tube on, there's your grandmother with her guts spilling out for everyone to fucking see?

Unnatural Disasters [3.4][edit]

Mineo: It's a boy! A bouncing, baby boy. Your son arrived yesterday.
Vern Schillinger: Which unit's he in?
Mineo: Your favorite: Emerald City.

Leo Glynn: You must really love your son, Schillinger, to come in here and ask me for a favor. It must be chewing up your insides to have to stand here in my office begging me for your son's life. 'Cause this is what you're doing, right? Begging?
Vern Schillinger: Yes.
Leo Glynn: Think of all the times I needed something from you and you just sit here with that stupid-ass grin on your face singing "doodah."
Vern Schillinger: This is my son, goddamn it!
Leo Glynn: I thought you had two sons.
Vern Schillinger: Yeah, I do.
Leo Glynn: Maybe you'll be luckier with the second.

Kareem Said: I am black, I am a Muslim, and I am a man. And sometimes those three things, they war with each other.

Sean Murphy: Gentlemen, this room here is the, uh, computer room. Call me crazy, but I think when I see people in this room, they should be using computers. But you three aren't, which leads me to guess, you know, 'cause I'm such a bright fella, that you're here for a different reason. Now forgive me for being distrustful, that probably means you're up to no good. That's right, take a hike. Let's go. You too, Simon.
Simon Adebisi: I am using the computer.
Sean Murphy: Ah. Well, can I give you one little small suggestion? Turn it on.

U.S. Male [3.5][edit]

Ryan O'Reily: Let me get this straight. You aim for the doctor, but you got the son instead.
William Cudney: No, I aimed for the son.
Ryan O'Reily: You took out the kid on purpose?
William Cudney: Yeah. Now that doctor knows how I feel. He killed my baby, I killed his.
Cyril O'Reily: What are you gonna say to him when you see him?
William Cudney: Who?
Cyril O'Reily: The doctor's son up in Heaven. I already know what I'm gonna say to Dr. Nathan's husband if they let me in.

Eugene Rivera: [to Alvarez, who has blinded him] I hate you, Alvarez you fucking motherfucker. 'Cause of you I gotta carry around all this shit in the dark. If it wasn't for Tina, I would have killed myself already. Sometimes I think I should kill myself for her sake so she could start a new life without me. Some days, Alvarez, I wish you would have killed me instead of doing this. I can't cry anymore. Did you know that? You made it so I can't cry.

Nikolai Stanislofsky: Kosygin is no pal of mine. I'm a Jew. He's Cossack. In my community, he's feared for his savagery. You Sicilians think you're so tough. He would cut out your heart, eat it, and not think twice.

Vern Schillinger: Those are not the kind of men you should be hanging out with.
Andrew Schillinger: As opposed to who? Those standup individuals that make up your merry little band? I gotta tell you something. My whole life, you crammed into my head how superior we white folks are. I don't see the truth in that. I look around this room and I see white faces and black faces, every color in between and the only thing that I know for sure is that we're all shit. You know, shit don't come in degrees. White or black, shit is shit. So fuck everything you believe in, fuck everything you stand for, and fuck you.
Vern Schillinger: Don't you dare talk to me like that!
Andrew Schillinger: Man, you hit me way too many times growing up!

Cruel and Unusual Punishments [3.6][edit]

Yuri Kosygin: Unlike you, in Russia I was not a criminal. I was an educator. After the Soviets fell, things got so bleak in Moscow I decided to leave, to come to America.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: For a better life, right?
Yuri Kosygin: Yes, for me and my wife. But we did not find a better life. I couldn't get employed teaching.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: Must have been terrible.
Yuri Kosygin: Then I got this job painting a house, the house of Leonid Rodzinsky.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: He was in the Organizatsya.
Yuri Kosygin: Yes. He treated me like shit, always making fun. Calling me "professor" and ordering me to clean his toilets. One day, he kicked me with his boot in front of my wife. I strangled him on the spot.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: It's closing time?
Yuri Kosygin: Yes.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: All right, I'll go.
Yuri Kosygin: Not till I finish my story.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: Strange. All this time, you've barely said two words. Now you're a regular bottum.
Yuri Kosygin: It takes me time to warm up to people. I feel very close to you. I was possessed by guilt for killing Rodzinsky but I got a reputation for being ruthless. The Organizatsya hired me to exterminate someone else. The second time was easy.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: Yuri, please. I don't want to hear this.
Yuri Kosygin: The third time, no problem at all.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: Yuri, please.
Yuri Kosygin: At last count, I murdered at least 49 people. You have the honor of being my 50th.

Claire Howell: You know what your problem is, Diane? You wanna be everybody's best pal.
Diane Wittlesey: And your problem? You wanna be everybody's worst nightmare.

Chris Keller: You saw my ex, Bonnie? When I met her, she was all alone, very unhappy. So I knew it would be easy to get her to fall in love with me. But what I didn't know was after I broke her heart would she still love me? See, I'm a piece of shit. I am worthless. As bad as they come. And to have someone keep loving me, no matter how bad... [pause] You happy now? You got me to open up and spill my guts all over your table. Breakthrough.

Secret Identities [3.7][edit]

Antonio Nappa: Jesus. You look a lot like my ex-wife.
Nat Ginzberg: Thanks.
Antonio Nappa: That's not a compliment.

Chucky Pancamo: In his day, Antonio Nappa was a great man. He was like a father to me. Well, more like an uncle.

Augustus Hill: People are defined by three things: Their heads: how they think. Their hearts: what they feel. Their dicks: who they fuck. At the end of the day, each of us has to answer one question. One, not so simple question. Who am I?

Out o' Time [3.8][edit]

Miguel Alvarez: Alone is alone. It's the way I've been my whole fucking life. I just don't belong in the world.

Nikolai Stanislofsky: Forgive me. We Russians, we are suspicious of everyone.

Augustus Hill: Everybody's worried about this Y2K problem. Come 2000, the computers are gonna have a nervous breakdown. Planes will fall from the sky, the water supply will dry up and the Pentagon will start shooting nuclear warheads at Canada. Some predict that prison doors will automatically spring open. But I got the solution: A do-over. At the stroke of midnight, it's 1900 again and we get to do the whole fucking century over. I mean, let's face it. We didn't do such a hot job the first time around.

Augustus Hill: A bunch of men sit in cells on the brink of a new year a new century, a new millennium. They stare into the future and all they see is themselves in those same cells. Black or white, here we are on the precipice. We either hang on or we fall off. Together or separately. It's our choice. It's up to us. It's up to you and me. Happy New Year!

Sean Murphy: Why is it I get nervous seeing the four of you huddled in this pod together? Huh? Whoever don't live here, c'mon, vamoos. Let's go! Hernandez, for Christ's sake, it's Christmas. Take a break from being a tough guy.
Raoul "El Cid" Hernandez: He's right. Enjoy the day. It will be your last.

Claire Howell: Seasons Greetings, fuckwad!

Diane Wittlesey: Oh, boy. Schillinger's home.
Len Lopresti: He's not such a bad guy, Diane.
Diane Wittlesey: What drugs are you on?
Len Lopresti: He's a shitload better than them.
Diane Wittlesey: Them, as in niggers?
Len Lopresti: Yeah.

Leo Glynn: What the hell happened?
Tim McManus: Howell and Diane got into a fight. Over me.
Leo Glynn: Christ.
Tim McManus: Look, don't. OK, Leo, I don't want to hear any of your sanctimonious bullshit.
Leo Glynn: I don't care what you want to hear. It's time you started taking responsibility for the shitstorms you create.
Tim McManus: What? That's all I do, all day, every day, is take responsibility, Leo. For every fucking thing in Em City. And all I've ever looked to you for is a little support.
Leo Glynn: I supported you.
Tim McManus: Yeah, like with the thing with Wangler? You took his side right away.
Leo Glynn: I did not!
Tim McManus: Yeah, you took his fucking side! Like you always do. Like you do with Hill, like you do with Said, and even Clayton Hughes. All the brothers. No matter which side of the law.
Leo Glynn: Are you saying I do that because they're black?
Tim McManus: Well, read the score card, pal, and add it up for yourself.
Leo Glynn: Fuck you, McManus!
Tim McManus: Yeah, fuck me!
Dr. Gloria Nathan: Guys, guys, everybody's listening.

Dr. Gloria Nathan: OK, you've healed sufficiently for me to remove the bandages. Now, I want to remind you both that there are gonna be some changes in your pigmentation but they're only temporary. Your skin should return to its normal appearance in six months to a year. OK? [to nurse] Go ahead. [cuts bandages off to reveal lighter skin pigmentation on Pierce and Poet]
Junior Pierce: Damn!
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: I might be able to get a cab now.

Len Lopresti: Man, I wish I'd been there to see fucking Khan go down.
Claire Howell: Yeah, maybe Allah was out of town.
Len Lopresti: I told you, the best boxers aren't always negro.
Clayton Hughes: [walks in from a shower] Fuck you both.

Jaz Hoyt: What do you want?
Vern Schillinger: The niggers are up to something.
Chris Keller: The niggers are always up to something. So are you.
Vern Schillinger: Look, I know there's been a lot of shit between us all over the years but we gotta put that aside. At least for now. We gotta be bound by the one thing that joins us all together. The color of our skin.
Tobias Beecher: I am not gonna listen to this shit. C'mon, Chris.
Chris Keller: Wait a sec. I wanna hear what he has to say.
Nikolai Stanislofsky: I'm Russian, and I'm a Jew. But I'm also white. So Schillinger, do you accept me as a part of your group?
Vern Schillinger: Yes.
Tobias Beecher: Aw, fuck.

Season Four[edit]

A Cock And Balls Story [4.01][edit]

Tim McManus: A cannibal eats somebody else's flesh.
Sean Murphy: So what do you call a guy who eats his own flesh?
Tim McManus: Inventive.

Chris Keller: [to Beecher] You know what? Oz didn't make you a bitch. You were born one.

Shirley: She was cheating on you?
Moses: Yeah. With her husband.
Shirley: They were married?
Moses: Bitch told me they was through. I don't fuck with another man's wife! I got principles.
Shirley: Oh, I love a man with principles.

McManus: She fell in love with a bobby?
Sister Pete: No, not a bobby, Tim! He's a guard. He guards the queen.
McManus: Well, then I'm sure they'll have a lot in fucking common!

Vern Schillinger: You the guy who destroyed that statue?
Guillaume Tarrant: Oui.
Vern Schillinger: Fucking sicko bastard.

Obituaries [4.02][edit]

Beecher: I don't want to love him, but I do.

O'Reily: A little birdie told me a secret about you and I just came to see if it was true. You got a cell phone?
Nikolai: No.
O'Reily: Oh. Then I guess that's what I get for listening to little birdies. Because if you did have a cell phone, you'd let me borrow it. You'd share, right?
Nikolai: Share? No. Rent, maybe, if I had one, which I don't.
O'Reily: I know. You told me, and I believe you. Because that's just the kind of friendship we have, right?
Nikolai: Right.
O'Reily: So sorry to bother you.
Nikolai: Not a problem.
O'Reily: Bye, Nikolai.

The Bill of Wrongs [4.03][edit]

Enrique Morales: I'm not like Hernandez or Guerra. They're spics, old-school thugs. Me, I'm a businessman. I like Armani suits, I surf the net.

Shirley Bellinger: I want to be lost in oblivion.

Shirley Bellinger: You forgive me?
Zeke Bellinger: Yes.
Shirley Bellinger: What makes you think I want your fucking forgiveness?
Zeke Bellinger: Now, Shirley, don't cuss.
Shirley Bellinger: You come in here all high and mighty deciding to free me of my guilt? Well, Zeke, I don't feel guilty. I did what l had to do, and unlike you, at least my balls were big enough. You came to console me? Well, I've got a little consolation prize for you. You and the chanteuse ought to go ahead and have yourselves another child, because when Katie died, you didn't lose a child. She wasn't yours.
Zeke Bellinger: What?
Shirley Bellinger: Your father raped me. That child was his seed.

Works of Mercy [4.04][edit]

Augustus Hill: Mercy is the compassion we feel for someone else's misfortune. Mercy compels us to alleviate that misfortune. Mercy is a child of charity, but the sister of justice because both are about the invisible link that exists between people. Mercy is spontaneous because misery is involuntary.

Bob Rebadow: An extraordinary experience watching the life fade from someone's eyes. Even as he was dying, Hernandez's instinct was to kill me for killing him. Survival meant less to him than revenge.

Martin Querns: The warden is correct. I have served in many correctional facilities, but what he didn't say was that, like most of you, I come from the streets. I'm not some candy-ass, white liberal looking to turn you into better citizens. I intend to meet with each of you individually, but until that time, keep one principle in mind: don't fuck with Querns.

Leo Glynn: You only see the world as black and white. Trust me, life is gray, as gray as these fucking walls.

Reporter: Shirley, do you have any thoughts as the hour approaches?
Shirley Bellinger: Thoughts? Of course I have thoughts, how could I not?
Reporter: Would you share them with us?
Shirley Bellinger: Sure. I'm wondering why anyone cares what my thoughts are. Sure as hell didn't care when my husband was drunk and beat me or when my father-in-law raped me. No, it wasn't until I killed my daughter, till I did something horrific that what I think matters. All I wanted was for someone to pay attention, and now that you finally are, I see that my life, then or now, isn't worth shit. Oh, if I say shit, you can't use this, right? I'm not supposed to say, shit, on the air, am I?

Gray Matter [4.05][edit]

Augustus Hill: The criminal mind-- For the past 200 years, scientists, sociologists and other folks who fret about such things, have debated whether a person commits a violent act because of their environment or their biological makeup. What turns on the red crime light in a man's brain? lf we find the cause, can we eliminate the effect? Can we end violence now and forever?

James Robson: Beecher hasn't been out of his cell for two solid days. He just lies in his bunk sobbing like a wuss.
Vern Schillinger: Good. That's what's truly elegant about this plan of mine. We don't physically touch Beecher, and yet the damage done is far more hideous.

Tobias Beecher: It's funny, I can't cry. I don't have any more tears left.

Augustus Hill: Genetics or environment? Like in everything else, society searches for the magic bullet-- the easy answer, 'cause the more complex the answer is, the more terrified we become. Is the root of violence much deeper, much darker? How about pure evil? Maybe we human creatures are inherently evil. Maybe evil is ingrained, embedded in our souls. Flip Wilson used to joke, The Devil made me do it. Maybe he was right. Or maybe not.

Mondo Browne: [to Cyril] Hey Goldilocks, wanna suck some chocolate?

Bruno Goergen: [points to forehead injury sustained at the gym] How the fuck is this you watching my back?
Johnny Basil: I got a CO there as soon as I could.
Bruno Goergen: You should have pulled those apes off me.
Johnny Basil: Apes, yeah. Niggers, yeah. I jump in and save you, afucking white redneck asshole, I might as well pack up and leaveOz.
Bruno Goergen: Well, then maybe you better start packing, 'causeanything like this fucking happens again, everyone's gonna knowwho you are, and you're a dead man, Johnny.

A Word to the Wise [4.06][edit]

Don Zanghi: Chucky, are you afraid of dying?
Chucky Pancamo: No.
Claire Howell: (knocking on cell door) What the fuck you doing with a cigarette, Pancamo?
Chucky Pancamo: Smoking it.
Claire Howell: Put it out, now! Or I'm coming in there.
Chucky Pancamo: Now her? I'm afraid of.

Chris Keller: [to Schillinger] Hey, Vern. Four marriages, I never had any kids, so I don't know dick about parenting, but you, fuck, you deserve some sort of prize. One son, you give him drugs knowing he'll OD. The other you set up for lethal injection. You're father of the fucking year, but you know what the best news is? When both your sons are dead, that'll be the end of it, 'cause you ain't making any more children. Not in here. So that when you die, your name dies with you. Everything you are dies when you do. And the world'll be a better place.

Ryan O'Reily: I do things different here in Oz than the way we worked on the street. For instance, when I want someone dead, I never grease them myself. I always-- I always talk someone else into doing the deed for me. I make them believe the person I want dead is their enemy. That way the kill can't be traced back to me.
Patrick Keenan: That's so cool.
Ryan O'Reily: You got, what, seven years till parole?
Patrick Keenan: Uh-huh.
Ryan O'Reily: You think you'll go the distance?
Patrick Keenan: Sure, I'll get out.
Ryan O'Reily: Yeah. That's good. You keep believing that, Patrick. You know how I said that I always get someone to kill for me?
Patrick Keenan: Yeah.
Ryan O'Reily: Well in your case, I'm gonna make an exception.

A Town Without Pity [4.07][edit]

Vern Schillinger: Look, I said I'd protect you from Keller. I'll protect you. Okay?
Eli Zabitz: Okay.
Vern Schillinger: Now buzz off.
[Zabitz leaves]
Vern Schillinger: Jesus, I thought the Jews were supposed to be tough.
James Robson: That's just the Israelis.
Vern Schillinger: Hmm. Kill him. I'm going to take that shot again.

Vern Schillinger: [about Zabitz] He dead?
James Robson: Heart attack.
Vern Schillinger: Jesus. I told him you got to watch that red meat.

Tobias Beecher: I prefer to be happy, but self-hate will do in a pinch.

Augustus Hill: Seven out of 10 inmates are from cities, but 90% of the prisons themselves are in rural areas. You know, farmland, hillsides, forests. Now you'd think such bucolic surroundings would have a calming effect on those inside. But no, out in the wild, things only get wilder.

Augustus Hill: We are both of us, the same, Mobay. Cop killers. Except every single day, I wish I could take back what I'd done.
Johnny Basil/Desmond Mobay: Goergen was a monster.
Augustus Hill: Yeah, it takes a monster to kill a monster, right?

Chucky Pancamo: Adebisi's turned Em City into a fucking Zulu nation.
Jaz Hoyt: What the fuck are we supposed to do?
Vern Schillinger: Create our own country. [goes to McManus' office in Unit B] McManus, we gotta talk.
Tim McManus: Make an appointment with my secretary.
Vern Schillinger: This is serious.
Tim McManus: Yeah, I can tell. You've got that Schillinger scowl going.
Vern Schillinger: Your precious little dream, your Emerald City, is now a ghetto. You been there lately? Crap all over the floors, drugs everywhere, the lack of primary colours.
Tim McManus: Well, that Unit is no longer my responsibility.
Vern Schillinger: Hey, I got no problem with that. What we don't want is that new attitude over there to come wafting this way. They hear about what's going on, empowerment, they're gonna want the same thing here.
Tim McManus: And you're suggesting what? That we make Unit B all white?
Vern Schillinger: Yes.
Tim McManus: Get the fuck away from me.
Vern Schillinger: Hey, let the niggers have Em City. Fuck, let them have the whole goddamn prison as long as we're safe over here.
Tim McManus: Goodbye, Vern.
Vern Schillinger: [kicks office door open] Don't be a bigger fool than you've already been.
Tim McManus: [presses alarm button] Lockdown! Lock the unit down!
Vern Schillinger: You'll see! You'll wish you listened to me, McManus!
Tim McManus: Now!

You Bet Your Life [4.08][edit]

Simon Adebisi: See, we are all of us bad men, even you. I know you have come to destroy me.
Kareem Said: Simon, I don't want to destroy you. I want to help you change.
Simon Adebisi: That is what would destroy me.

Tim McManus: All right, listen up, everybody. I'm ba-ack.

Medium Rare [4.09][edit]

Augustus Hill: Journalists are supposed to be impartial. They're supposed to keep their personal opinions to themselves. However, on TV, we know what the reporter is feeling. We see Sam Donaldson or Andrea Mitchell giving us the facts, but with the camera that close up we can also tell by a raised eyebrow or a tiny inflection what they really think about the person they're reporting on. Now, Walter Cronkite, he had the poker face. Nobody ever knew what ol' Walt was thinking. So while he was telling the truth, he was also lying to the camera. That's genius!

Lisa Logan: I'm what we call a segment producer. Each of our shows is divided into four ten-minute stories, anchored by a different newsman. I work for Jack Eldridge.
Leo Glynn: Ah, I like Eldridge. He's a ball-buster. That piece you did on heating oil? You really tagged that corporate clown. Have a seat.
Lisa Logan: We want to do a three-part series on Oswald. You know, "inside one of America's toughest prisons."
Leo Glynn: No.
Lisa Logan: No?
Leo Glynn: Like I said, I saw what he did to that guy, and I don't want to be that guy.
Lisa Logan: What have you got to hide?
Leo Glynn: Nothing. But in the four years since we had the riot, life around here has been rough. Attitudes are just starting to settle down. You bring in a tv camera, you're going to stir the situation up.
Lisa Logan: Well, I've spoken to the Commissioner, and he's agreed.
Leo Glynn: I'll call the Governor.
Lisa Logan: He also agreed.
Leo Glynn: Well, if you already had permission, if you already knew it was a done deal, why'd you even ask me?
Lisa Logan: To get your honest reaction.

Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Hypocrisy. Hip-o-crisy. That's what this is. You see, they strip me of my clothes, they strip me of my rights, they strip me of my self-respect. All 'cause they say I broke the rules, traffickin' in illegals. But they, they more guilty than I could ever be. Fuckin' uppity-ups. They the ones that let Adebisi sing and snort and suck. And when the blood run out, when his blood got split, the truth ran out, and a wall of lies got built. After Said greased him, fucking hacks acted like he ain't never even breathed in. And then the lies got buried with his number.

Cyril O'Reily: Ryan tells me to take my medicine, but I don't sometimes. Like today.
Jack Eldridge: What about, uh, before the accident? Do you remember anything about that?
Cyril O'Reily: There are flashes, once in a while. Like, now. I see you, and I think maybe I know you.
Jack Eldridge: We've met, years ago, when you were fifteen. You and your brother and I, we talked about your lives in the gang.
Cyril O'Reily: You make Mama sad. You made Mama cry. You gave my Mama cancer. [Cyril punches Eldridge]
Lisa Logan: Oh, shit!
Sean Murphy: Central, this is 11, we've got a 66.
Cyril O'Reily: Ryan said at the grave that you gave my mother cancer. [he continues to pummel Eldridge]
Ryan O'Reily: [screaming] Cyril! Cyril! [The SORT team arrives.]
Cyril O'Reily: You gave my mama cancer!
Ryan O'Reily: Cyril! Cyril! Cyril! [Cyril is carried away by the SORT team.]
Cyril O'Reily: You gave my mama cancer!
Ryan O'Reily: Cyril! Cyril! Cyril!
Cyril O'Reily: Mama! Mama!
Ryan O'Reily: Cyril!
Cyril O'Reily: Ryan!
Lisa Logan: [runs into pod] Jack, Jack, Jack! Oh, Jack!
Jack Eldridge: Lisa, did you -
Lisa Logan: What? Did I what?
Jack Eldridge: Get it all on tape?

Conversions [4.10][edit]

Tim McManus: Now, when you violate the rules, instead of sending you to the hole, we're going to stick you inside that cage in full view of your adoring public. Any questions?
Chris Keller: Yes, Mr. McManus, sir. How big is your penis?

Omar White: Shit, he called me a drug abuser, man. I ain't no drug abuser, Jack. I mean, truth be told, son, I treat my drugs better than most.

Vern Schillinger: I'm just sick of all this horseshit. I want to concentrate on the birth of my first grandchild. You know, I just want a little taste of happiness.
James Robson: Vern, you're starting to scare me.

Burr Redding: I grew up in the ghetto. Pops died when I was 10. I had to quit school, support my family by doing some of everything, from shining shoes to shooting craps. I went to Vietnam, where they taught me how to kill small children and women. I've been in all kind of penitentiaries from Arizona to Alabama and back. And I say all this not out of pride or shame. I just want to make sure that you grasp that l already grasped how things work around here.

Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Look, old man, let me tell you something--
Burr Redding: You think old man bothers me? Boy, I done had a whole lot of men tougher than you, you that called me worse didn't make it to old. My age is my honor and my strength.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Shit, you think you can just come up here and take control?
Burr Redding: Some people are born leaders, others are not. A wise man knows his own limitations. You think on that.

Revenge is Sweet [4.11][edit]

Chris Keller: You know, sometimes I think I killed all those guys 'cause I wanted to kill the part of me I despise.
Augustus Hill: When you take revenge on somebody, you are actually paying them the highest compliment possible. It's like saying, You affected my life to such an extent that I must reciprocate. I must affect your life as deeply as you have mine. Revenge may be the ultimate Hallmark card. Yeah. When you think of it like that, the cliche is true: Revenge is sweet.

Cuts Like a Knife [4.12][edit]

Jeremiah Cloutier: You're afraid of losing Kirk to Christ.
Ray Mukada: He already has Christ.
Jeremiah Cloutier: That is not Christ. That is show biz on a stick.
Ray Mukada: Show biz? You, of all people, you have turned faith into a cartoon.
Jeremiah Cloutier: Be careful, Father. Anger, envy. Those are two of the seven deadly sins.

James Robson: Yeah, your kid was involved in all kinds of shit. Drug deals and pimping. So there's any number of people who might want him dead.
Vern Schillinger: This is you consoling me?

Jeremiah Cloutier: Why don't we pray together?
Vern Schillinger: How does the quote go? There is a time to be born, a time to die, a time for every purpose under heaven?
Jeremiah Cloutier: Yes.
Vern Schillinger: Well, the time for praying is over.

Vern Schillinger: What's your best memory of your son?
Tobias Beecher: The first time he came up unprompted and hugged me and said, "Daddy, I love you."
Vern Schillinger: Beecher, I promise not to hurt your daughter or anybody else in your family. See, I wanna believe that you are innocent of killing Hank. I wanna believe because I need to believe in something. Something besides hate. This grandchild that's coming is my last chance. My last hope. I want this kid to put his arms around my neck and say, "I love you." Because see, I never had that before.
Tobias Beecher: I am sorry about your son.
Vern Schillinger: I'm sorry about yours too.

Tobias Beecher: Do you really think we're gonna get into heaven?
Chris Keller: You and me together? God doesn't have the balls to keep us out.

Blizzard Of 01 [4.13][edit]

Clayton Hughes: For the first time, I know who I am, my true self, the thing I was born to do. I can change the world.

Augustus Hill: When I was 10 years old, I wanted a real job.
Burr Redding: You wanted a paper route.
Augustus Hill: Right. But instead, you had me selling smack.
Burr Redding: Well, you got to learn the business.
Augustus Hill: Why? Why did I need to learn how to sell drugs?
Burr Redding: Because we didn't have any other options back then. Let me tell you something. I ain't going to apologize for who I am or what I done, all right? Do I wish things had been better? Sure. Do I wish we'd been born in one of them fancy mansions up there on Kellogg Boulevard? Sure. But I don't hope and I don't dream. I take a shit in this world, I see reality and I make the best of it.
Augustus Hill: You ain't got to tell me about reality. I live in Oz. I live in this chair. And I wouldn't be here if you'd let me have the goddammed motherfucking paper route.

Bob Rebadow: Bachelor parties are one part alcohol, one part strippers. We're in short supply of both.

Orpheus Descending [4.14][edit]

Augustus Hill: Back in the old Greek times there lived a man named Orpheus. Loved his wife, took it easy on the Ouzo, played a mean guitar. Upstanding guy. So what the almighty gods do? They fucked with him. Made his life Hades. Why? 'Cause that's what those in power do to those of us with none

Hill: Love conquers all? Never has, never will.

Clayton Hughes: Basil, you taking Yood's side against mine?
Johnny Basil: Yeah, why shouldn't I?
Clayton Hughes: 'Cause of what he is and what we are.
Johnny Basil: What you are is a fuckwad.

Ryan O'Reily: Hey, what's up, half-dick?
James Robson: Fuckin' Mick! Fuck hey! Hey, fuck!
Travis Smith: Hey! Get in there!
Ryan O'Reily: Here you go, Alvarez.
Miguel Alvarez: Stupid fuck.
Ryan O'Reily: Hey, Smith.
Travis Smith: Yeah?
Ryan O'Reily: Jenkins don't look so hot, man.
Travis Smith: What do you mean? Oh! [Jenkins is hanging in his cell]
Ryan O'Reily: Guess he won't be eating his chicken nuggets.
Travis Smith: Ah, sh...

Enrique Morales: Who's he?
Chucky Pancamo: Padraic Connolly. That's all we need in this place, another dumb fuckin' spud-eating Mick.

Even the Score [4.15][edit]

Alvin Yood: (after knocking Howell down a flight of stairs) Maybe I got lucky and she's dead.

James Robson: Yo! Sorry about what happened to Leroy Tidd, or "Ooga Booga", or whatever the fuck you called him. [Said starts pounding on Robson, Arif knocks out Schillinger with a punch]
James Robson: You fucking nigger!
Kareem Said: NIGGER! You wanna see the nigger in me! [pounding intensifies] You wanna SEE the nigger in ME! [continues beating Robson to a pulp]
James Robson: [in the hospital] That spade motherfuckin', that cock motherfuck, motherfuckin' NIGGER!
[cut to Muslims]
Zahir Arif: The Aryans must be punished. We will NO LONGER tolerate their actions! From now on each and every one if us is on point!
[cut to Aryans]
Vern Schillinger: So Said's nigger ass is in the hole, it looks like Arif's in charge. These motherfuckers are more pissed off than ever. I want you guys to watch each other's backs. Carry weapons from now on. This shit's coming down and it's coming down hard.

Sister Peter Marie: As a rule, I don't give up on people, but this guy Omar, may he be the exception.

Clayton Hughes: Robson, you are one ugly motherfucker.
James Robson: I don't see you modelling in Milan, you black bitch.
Miguel Alvarez: Hey, shut the fuck up, I'm trying to masturbate.

James Robson: Carl Jenkins is dead. You got no case against me. I want out of here, Glynn. I want out of here. Glynn, I want out! I want a fucking lawyer! Get me fucking Said, that's the lawyer I need! You motherfucker, get me out of here! [starts barking loudly]

Burr Redding: This court is now in session.
Tug Daniels: Fuck you.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Tug Daniels, you been accused of the three "dis's": Disloyal, Dishonest, Disrespectful.
Burr Redding: How do you plead?
Tug Daniels: Man, if y'all gonna take me out, just fuckin' take me out, man, stop the bullshit, alright?
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: You been seen fraternizing with Supreme Allah.
Tug Daniels: Man, I only let that fool think I was with him, man. As soon as I killed you, him was dead meat.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: The prosecution rests.
Burr Redding: You got any defense?
Tug Daniels: Yeah, I got a defense. You killing me for the same crime you let Hill walk on. You getting old, Burr, you getting soft. You can't go the distance.
Burr Redding: Silence!
Tug Daniels: You know, with me in charge, you motherfuckers would be running Oz.
Burr Redding: Pay attention to what I'm fixed to tell you. It is the decision of this court that your have been found guilty.
Tug Daniels: Man, kill this old pussy, not me.
Burr Redding: Therefore, I hereby sentence you [grab Daniels by the neck] to death. [Daniels is dead] Throw his ass back there, behind the cafeteria. Stick him in the garbage dumpster. Move it!

Famous Last Words [4.16][edit]

Clayton Hughes: I hereby declare this the Republic of Huru! Huru! Huru! Huru!

Burr Redding: Poet told me what you done.I came to thank you and welcome you back into the fold.
Augustus Hill: I accept your thanks. But I don't want to be back in. I don't want to sell drugs.
Burr Redding: Your choice. I respect that.
Augustus Hill: Respect? I killed a man today. I caused his death to happen. And even though Allah was gonna hurt you, even though the fuck screwed me to this chair, I don't feel good about what I done.
Burr Redding: Well, then, Augustus... I raised you right.

[inmates watch TV game show "Up Your Ante", with Tim McManus competing against Robert Iler]
Up Your Ante Host: We start off with $10, and the category today, Tim, is vocabulary. And the question is:what is a tittle?
Tim McManus: I think I know this. I'm gonna humor you, I'm gonna ask for a hint. Did you cover this in sixth grade English, Robert?
Robert Iler: Well, first off, I'm in high school. And yeah, they did cover this... In the third grade.
Up Your Ante Host: Would you like to give him a hint, Robert?
Robert Iler:It comes with crosses on T's.
Tim McManus: I saw a show where they were discussing tittles, and it wasn't punctuation.
Robert Iler: Yeah, it's not punctuation. It's a diacritical mark.
[cut to inmates watching]
Tobias Beecher: Kid's right.
[cuts back to TV]
Tim McManus: You're a good guy, Robert, but I've been around a little longer. A tittle is a breast implant.
[cuts back to inmates]
Chucky Pancamo: Leave it to McManus to go for breasts.
[cuts back to TV]
Up Your Ante Host: No, in fact, it is the dot above an "I."
[buzzer sounds, then cuts back to inmates]
Bob Rebadow: Dumb ass.
Carmen 'Chico' Guerra: I always knew McManus was an idiot. Now everybody else does, too.
Omar White: Yo, man, don't be fucking dogging McManus out, all right?
Carmen 'Chico' Guerra: Oh, I'm sorry, White. I forgot you've been sucking his cock these days.
Omar White: I'm not sucking his cock, fag.
Carmen 'Chico' Guerra: Then... You must be taking it up the ass.

Enrique Morales: Be all you can be, baby.

Kareem Said: Adebisi lives!

Season Five[edit]

Visitations [5.1][edit]

Augustus Hill: Oz, the name on the street for the Oswald State Correctional Facility Level Four. Oz is filled with murderers, rapists, racists, drug dealers with the most common of criminals. But what is it that makes a man common? Better yet, what makes him unique? Winning wars, winning awards? No. What lifts a man out of the ordinary is who he loves and who loves him.

Eugenia Hill: The tears are for Augustus, my little emperor. Locked in a cell, down in that wretched place, half his body dead. And damn all I keep thinking of is his first step.

Augustus Hill: Yeah, yeah, yeah, lots of fine people have sat staring at the inside of prison walls. Socrates, Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Even our Lord Jesus Christ. He spent the last night of his life not with holy men, but with scum like the kind we've got in Oz. One of the last things Jesus did on earth was invite a prisoner to join him in heaven. He loved that criminal. I say, he loved that criminal as much as he loved anyone. Jesus knew in his heart it takes a lot to love a sinner. But the sinner, he needs it all the more.

Miguel Alvarez: Yeah. I cut my own face. You know what I'm saying? I shoved a shank in Rivera's eyes. You know what I'm saying? I slit Vasquez's throat. You know what I'm saying? I handle a knife better then a fucking surgeon. I got nothing to prove to you brother. Nothing. Come on! Get the fuck out of my face! Hey Giles. Don't think I've forgotten about you sticking me right? [grabs Giles] Little fucking cocksucker. Yeah! Yeah!

Laws of Gravity [5.2][edit]

Timmy Kirk: If you're not part of the solution, you're Satan's tool.

Jim Burns: The Reverend Cloutier was in my cell last night.
Timmy Kirk: For what, a blowjob? [Hoyt laughs]
Jim Burns: This ain't funny.
Jaz Hoyt: You had a dream.
Jim Burns: Hey, it was no dream.
Jaz Hoyt: Chickenshit.
Timmy Kirk: You're tryin' to get outta the job. Go kill the cocksucker.
Jim Burns: No!
Jaz Hoyt: No?
Jim Burns: He told me to kill you!

Jaz Hoyt: It's self defense. It's, it's motherfuckin' self defense. I got witnesses, you got nothin' on me. There was fuckin' 10 guys there.
Leo Glynn: Put him in the hole.
Corrections Officer: Get up.
Jaz Hoyt: Self defense!

Chucky Pancamo: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just give me a fucking Band aid.

Agent Taylor: You know a man named Gaetano Sensetta?
Chucky Pancamo: Not that I recall.
Agent Taylor: You don't know him?
Chucky Pancamo: Not that I recall.
Agent Taylor: You never met him?
Chucky Pancamo: Not that I recall.
Agent Taylor: That's odd. Mr. Sensetta, who just blabbed his way into the witness protection program, says you hired him to kill someone. Hank Schillinger. Do you know Hank Schillinger?
Chucky Pancamo: Not that I recall.
Agent Taylor: He's the son of Vernon Schillinger. Do you know Vernon Schillinger?
Chucky Pancamo: Not that I recall.
Agent Taylor: He's a fellow resident here at Oswald. You remember him now?
Chucky Pancamo: To the best of my recollection-
Agent Taylor: Recollection.
Chucky Pancamo: I don't know the fucking guy.
Agent Taylor: Chris Keller confessed to hiring a hit man to kill Hank Schillinger, only he never identified whom. Mr. Sensetta says he's never heard of Keller. We give Keller a lie detector test, turns out Keller lied about his part in the murder. Now why do you think he would do that?
Chucky Pancamo: Nice tie.
Agent Taylor: Okay. Officer, take this weasel back to whatever hole he crawled out of. I guess my next conversations with Vern Schillinger. I wonder if he'll remember you.

Dream A Little Dream of Me [5.3][edit]

Ryan O'Reily: Who are all these numbnuts who play the lottery?
Agamemmnon Busmalis: I played the lottery.
Tobias Beecher: Me too.
Ryan O'Reily: Like I said. Numbnuts. Out of 51 numbers, you got to pick the right number not once, but six times in a row.
Agamemmnon Busmalis: I say it is possible to win.
Ryan O'Reily: Jesus Christ, Busmalis. You'd have a better chance of getting struck by lightening.
Agamemmnon Busmalis: Approximately 1,000 people a year win a million dollars or more in North American lotteries. In contrast, less then a hundred people a year hit by lightening.

Inmate: Hey. What can I do for you?
Vern Schillinger: Came to pick up the pool table.
James Robson: Yeah, is it fixed yet?
Inmate: Yeah. The ball return was a little hinkey, but I unhinkied it.
Peter Schibetta: Hey. You have the toaster done?
Inmate: Hold your Calvins, Bochi boy. I'm in the middle of something.
Peter Schibetta: Yeah well, I got lunch coming so these jokers can wait.
Vern Schillinger: We don't wait for Wops.
Peter Schibetta: Someone's going to teach you manners, Vernon.
Vern Schillinger: Yeah well, It ain't going to be you prag.
[Schibetta takes out a shank and tries to stab Schillinger]
James Robson: Oh hey! Look out!
[Schillinger grabs Schibetta while Robson & Inmate punch him, who both pin Schibetta to the pool table]
Peter Schibetta: Fuck off! Let me up!
Vern Schillinger: You know...
Peter Schibetta: Let me up!
Vern Schillinger: I always wondered, [dips hand into black grease] was Adebisi's dick bigger then mine?
Peter Schibetta: No! Fuck you! fuck! No!
Vern Schillinger: You be the judge.
Peter Schibetta: No!

Greg Penders: Well I'm out of solitary and I want to stay out. So I think the best thing for me to do is to avoid any...umm...altercations. Which means as little face time with the other prisoners as possible. So I want to know if, instead of working in the shop, if you can get me a job here.
Leo Glynn: In my office?
Greg Penders: Yes.
Leo Glynn: No.
Greg Penders: Warden don't you-
Leo Glynn: Don't say I owe you. I have a very negative reaction to that. Your presence here would only remind me on a day to day basis of what happened to Clayton Hughes. So the answer is no. In fact, if you see me coming, hide, because the best thing for me is to stick you back in solitary. Stay out of my sight. Alright? [to CO] Officer.
Greg Penders: Warden, that's not right. That's not right.
Leo Glynn: Bye.
Greg Penders: That's not right.

Next Stop, Valhalla [5.4][edit]

Hill: All Vikings were not stupid brutes. They had moments of brilliance. They were such great shipbuilders and sailors that Leif Eriksson and his crew landed in America first. Some say, travelling as far South as New York harbour. Here's where the true brilliance comes in : they took a look, turned around and went home.

Chris Keller: Show me your tits.
Sister Pete: Don't do that.
Chris Keller: Sorry.

Timmy Kirk: I want to become a Roman Catholic again.
Father Ray Mukada: No.
Timmy Kirk: What? You can't refuse me!
Father Ray Mukada: I sure as hell can.

Vern Schillinger: Officer Brass. Good to see you.
Dave Brass: Yeah? Why's that?
Vern Schillinger: Glynn's bringing more and more nigger COs in here every day. In my book, any pale face is a good pale face.
Dave Brass: Let me ask you something. Were you around the day I got cut?
Vern Schillinger: No. Me and Robson were on work detail. Believe me, if I'd have been here I'd have pulled that monkey off you.
Dave Brass: So you know which monkey it was?
Vern Schillinger: Who exactly, no. I guarantee you this though. It wasn't a white man.
Carlos Martinez: Hey Brass.
Dave Brass: Yeah.
Carlos Martinez: You drink?
Dave Brass: Why? You want to go grab a couple of beers?
Carlos Martinez: How about a blood, piss, shit, and puke cocktail, mother fucker? [throws the contents at Brass' face]
Dave Brass: Ah! Ah! Son of a bitch!

Kareem Said: Homosexuality is a perversion against Gods will.
Vern Schillinger: I agree.
Kareem Said: And yet you practice sodomy yourself.
Vern Schillinger: I'm no faggot.
Kareem Said: You raped Beecher. And Cyril O'Reily and God knows how many others.
Vern Schillinger: I never touched anybody.
Tobias Beecher: You lying cock sucking fuck.
Sister Peter Marie: Tobias-
Tobias Beecher: How can you deny what you did? Get up!
Sister Peter Marie: Tobias!
Tobias Beecher: Get up!
Sister Peter Marie: Officer! Stop it!
Hack: Come on!
Tobias Beecher: Come on! Fuck! You fucking lying bitch! You lying fucking sack of shit.

James Robson: Aw, Lookie here. Huey, Dewey, and Jigabooey are having a little lesson.

James Robson: [rubs and sniffs Guenzel] Oh, I like a man who sweats.
Tobias Beecher: Leave him alone.
James Robson: [to Beecher] Stay out of this prag. [to Guenzel] So there's two ways this could go precious. Kick or kiss. They both end the same. With my dick up your ass.
Frank Urbano: Not necessarily.
James Robson: Oh, who the fuck are you?
Frank Urbano: Who the fuck am I?

Jia Kenmin: Kill them both. But if you can only get one, get Ryan. We can always whack the 'tard once the older brother's dead.

Adam Guenzel: This will be the first time I ever have to make my own bed.
Tobias Beecher: Adam, take my word. Nothing you experienced growing up in Bryant Park has prepared you for life in Oz. I know it's hard but I'll be here for you. I promise. Your dad was my scout master for God's sake.
Adam Guenzel: You have to understand something. That girl Franklin and I raped... We were drunk. All of us. Partying. I blacked out. I never meant to hurt her.
Tobias Beecher: Yeah but you did. That's why you're standing where you're standing. Don't forget that. Ever. The guilt may keep you sane. Get settled and uh...I'll introduce you around.

Wheel of Fortune [5.5][edit]

Tim McManus: I'm sorry Rebadow, it's your word against his. The word of a correctional officer against the word of an inmate... who is known to talk to God.

Carmen "Chico" Guerra: Whoa, what the fuck is this, man?
Agememnon Busmalis: Ms. Sally's new TV series, Sallycise. It's a health and exercise show.
Carmen "Chico" Guerra: Yeah, well, one of my muscles is already getting bigger.

James Robson: Mail call.
Omar White: Yo um, you got Minister Said's mail in there?
James Robson: You know Omar, I discovered that the Minister and I have something in common.
Omar White: Yeah Okay.
James Robson: We both support slavery. For me, slavery don't exist anymore. Which is a damn shame. But according to this book in the library, for those Muslims slavery is alive and well in Africa. That's right. I figured Said must have known that too since he went and got himself one. You. White: The fuck you jabbing about man? I need to...I ain't nobody's mother fucking slave and shit man.
James Robson: You tote that barge. You lift that bail. Yous his house nigger.
Omar White: You mother fucker!
Kareem Said: Omar. Come here.
Omar White: Yo look, I know I ain't supposed to fight and shit but ...Don't no motherfucking body talk to me like that!
Kareem Said: Come here now!
Omar White: Fuck. I am a fucking nigger. Fuck.

Variety [5.6][edit]

Faraj: You know, with all your warped ideology, I bet you never gave much thought to why Adolf was so pissed off at the Jews. One theory is that he was traumatized by the death of his mother. She died of breast cancer and she was in the care of a Jewish physician, so, of course, the repressed hatred erupted itself into the Holocaust. Now, another theory is that Hitler's father was the illegitimate son of a German woman and some obscure Jewish man, and so Hitler himself had impure blood - Hey, now, now don't make me slip, because if I do, we are both in trouble, hmm? You know, it's amazing. We don't even know where these gums come from. I mean, this could be the gums of a kike, a spic, or even a faggot. You could be getting the beautiful gums of a big, black nigger.

Cyril O'Reily: We have to give the puppet a name.
Sister Peter Marie: Good. What do you want to call him?
Cyril O'Reily: Jericho.
Sister Peter Marie: Why Jericho?
Cyril O'Reily: 'Cause the walls came tumbling down.

Sister Peter Marie: I want to find the three men who raped Schibetta.
Leo Glynn: Why?
Sister Peter Marie: Why, Leo? Why?
Leo Glynn: Look, we're doing everything we can to keep the number of reported rapes down.
Sister Peter Marie: Reported? Listen to you. Your own daughter was raped.
Leo Glynn: This is different. This is Oz.
Sister Peter Marie: Rape is rape, Leo.
Leo Glynn: I don't agree. Here, rape has a a leveling effect. Peter Schibetta, from the day he arrived, wanted to be a tough guy, wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, running things, hurting people. Well, he got stopped by Adebisi. Now he got stopped again.
Sister Peter Marie: What's going on? Do you have something personal against Schibetta?
Leo Glynn: No, no, simply survival of the fittest, as natural and basic as Darwin.
Sister Peter Marie: You and I have disagreed about a lot of things over the years, but this is--
Leo Glynn: Peter Marie--
Sister Peter Marie: "A leveling effect"? You want rape to do your job?

Franklin Winthrop: How the mighty have fallen.
Adam Guenzel: Fuck you, faggot.
Vern Schillinger: Guenzel.
Adam Guenzel: Hey, Vern. The boys in Em City send their regards.
Vern Schillinger: Shut up.
Adam Guenzel: Hey, I was just - [Vern slaps Guenzel] God, what the fuck was -
Vern Schillinger: You'll speak when you're spoken to.
[Aryans drag Guenzel into a broom closet to rape him]
Adam Guenzel: Hey, get the fuck off me! Get off of me!
Franklin Winthrop: Sir, sir, may I watch?
Vern Schillinger: Well, if you don't, how are you ever gonna learn?

Vern Schillinger: Not much of a meal there.
James Robson: Yeah, nothing cold or crunchy.
Inmate: Why, are you on a diet?
James Robson: Because it hurts, dipshit, do I look fat to you? Goddamn it! Suddenly ice cream, croutons, it's like getting your gums raked. What the fuck is that?
Inmate: They're probably recessive. My old man had bad gums.
Vern Schillinger: When's the last time you got a cleaning?
James Robson: I don't know, five or six years ago. I hate the fucking dentist.
Inmate: Don't fuck around with you mouth. My old man didn't deal, his mouth ended up a train wreck.
Vern Schillinger: If I was you, I'd see Dr. Faraj. You don't want to be slurping turkey milk shakes in middle age.
James Robson: Faraj? I don't want some sand niggers paws probing in my mouth.
Vern Schillinger: They wear gloves now, you know, since AIDS came along.
James Robson: Oh.
Vern Schillinger: Jesus, how long has it really been?

James Robson: I don't like your third world bullshit attitude. And whatever I decide, Gunga, I got a thing about needles. Any anesthesia or whatever, I want gas first.
Tariq Faraj: My pleasure, Sahib.
James Robson: Oh, and one more thing. Being that I'm Aryan and you're camel shit, I'd appreciate it if you wore two pairs of those plastic gloves. You know, the less contact the better.

Chucky Pancamo: You see this medal? St. Dismas, he's the patron saint of prisoners. Al Capone gave this to my grandfather in the 20s.
Dr. Gloria Nathan: I didn't know Al Capone was religious.
Chucky Pancamo: He wasn't. He just liked to hedge his bets. Dr. Nathan, I keep feeling worse and worse.
Dr. Gloria Nathan: I know.
Chucky Pancamo: I haven't prayed since the fifth grade. I've forgotten how.
Dr. Gloria Nathan: Me too.

Good Intentions [5.7][edit]

Ryan O'Reily: When I was a kid and all this shit was going down in our house, my dad was wailing on us non-stop, so I went to our pastor. I had a welt on my back the size of this fist, so, I asked to good Monsignor if he could please talk to my dad and ask him to stop beating on us. He said if my dad hit us it was because we were bad and we deserved to be punished. Then he told me to go home and honor thy father.

Alvin Yood: Don't take any wooden nickels.

Chris Keller: Do you think Jesus was a fag?
Sister Peter Marie: What?
Chris Keller: Do you think Jesus was a fag? It's a legitimate question.
Sister Peter Marie: Are you trying to provoke me? Mock my religion?
Chris Keller: Nope, just looking for a role model. Jesus was divine and human simultaneously, right?
[Sister nods]
Chris Keller: Did the divine part control his sexual appetites? And if so, what chance have I got? I'm not divine, far from it, and I mean all my life anytime I've gotten the urge... I've stuck my cock into any cavity that was open and available.

Timmy Kirk: Clarence Seroy is a lying sack of shit.
Leo Glynn: Funny, that's what you said when Jaz Hoyt implicated you in Jim Burns' murder.
Timmy Kirk: I'm innocent.
Leo Glynn: No, you're a guilty little prick who's finally going to take responsibility for the shit storms you created.
Timmy Kirk: You've got no hard core evidence that either I set up the arson or was involved in Hoyt killing Burns. It's still their word against mine.
Leo Glynn: Think you got the system beat huh? Well, I've been around a lot longer then you, Kirk. Ray Mukada is a friend of mine. He's lying in a hospital, and that's pissing me off. Pissing me off royal.

James Robson: Just soup.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Sure you don't want no chitlins and gravy to go with that?
James Robson: What?
Ryan O'Reily: Shall we? [cafeteria staff bang utensils loudly] Everyone, listen up. Robson here went to the dentist and got himself a nice pair of dirty ghetto gums.
[Whole cafeteria erupts in laughter]
James Robson: Thanks Vern.
Vern Schillinger: I didn't say a fucking word. [To Poet, who is laughing] Shut up, you goddamn nigger, just give him some soup!
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: [to Robson] Whoa, You going to take that, G, man calling your brother a nigger and all? [Robson intimidates Poet] Hey, don't get stupid. Don't want me to Sammy Sosa that jaw with this here spoon.
Claire Howell: Keep it moving, girls.

Vern Schillinger: Now, you all know how highly I've esteemed... James Robson, but the past, unfortunately, is nothing more then the past. Satan has scored a very ugly victory, and it pains me that Robson is a casualty. We must, never the less, abide by out principals, not our feelings. As of today, James Robson is no longer a part of the Brotherhood.

Impotence [5.8][edit]

James Robson: Hey. Jesus. Don't do this to me, Vern. You guys are all I got in here.
Vern Schillinger: It's not my choice, James, we've got a charter to fallow. You know that charter better then anybody.
James Robson: I asked the fucking dentist. He said he put white mans gums in my mouth. White.
Vern Schillinger: Really? 'Cause that bruise Dr. Faraj planted on your cheek is blue. That tells me you didn't get the answer you were looking for. Tomorrow you're moving to another cell.

Arif: You were right Imam, Allah has punished him for his sins.
[to Robson]
Arif: Hey, how's the mouth?

Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Oh, lookie here, my stepbrother. Feels good talking with a black man's gums, don't it?
James Robson: I need a shit load of tits, now.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: You? All that Aryan drug free bullshit just bullshit ain't it?
James Robson: Will you shut your fucking corn trap and hook me? Or I can take my cash elsewhere.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Alright, man.

Agememnon Busmalis: Hey. I'm real sorry about little Alex.
Bob Rebadow: You know, you try to prepare for a death, but always secretly you believe there's a chance that the doctors were wrong, that they'll find a cure, and that as long as he's alive there's time. So, while you think you're stealing yourself, all you're really doing is waiting on the miracle, which is why, when death comes, it's so horrible, because you realize...you weren't prepared at all.
Agememnon Busmalis: But you knew last night.
Bob Rebadow: On some level. 30-something years ago it was a power outage that saved me from execution, but last night the electricity finally came back to finish the job, except so much time had passed that my grandson was now in the chair. I never really liked this hat, but now that he's passed away, I understand this hat. This was my Grandson at his most alive.

Seamus O'Reily: Suddenly, I'm famous. I done six interviews, newspapers and TV, ever since that nonsense with your brother started. I got to admit I'm getting kind of used to the attention. They guy's down at Kelsey's, they've been buying me rounds every night. And there's this broad, sits at the end of the bar, she's been flirting with me. I might just fuck her.
Ryan O'Reily: You going to see Cyril while you're in the building?
Seamus O'Reily: Yeah, yeah. I guess I oughta. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to say to that boy.
Ryan O'Reily: Tell him you love him.
Seamus O'Reily: Oh, yeah, right.
Ryan O'Reily: You ever told Cyril that, dad? Cyril or anyone? Ma? Tessie when you were married? Have the words 'I love you' ever crossed your lips. Because I never heard them, not once.
Seamus O'Reily: Don't start with your whining.
Ryan O'Reily: I'm sorry, I forgot how sensitive you are.
Seamus O'Reily: You asked me to come, I'm here. State your business.
Ryan O'Reily: I want to talk about Carolyn.
Seamus O'Reily: Carolyn? What about her?
Ryan O'Reily: I want to talk about the day she died. I remember her crying, you know, non-stop for what seemed like hours. Tessie couldn't get her quiet. You were drunk and in a foul mood. Sit down!
Seamus O'Reily: Fuck you!
Ryan O'Reily: You sit...or I finish telling my story to a cop. Carolyn was crying and you took her from Tessie's arms and you put your hands around her and you shook her and you shook her and you shook her until she stopped, until she went limp like a rag doll.
Seamus O'Reily: She fell out of her crib.
Ryan O'Reily: No. I was there, Dad. I was in the doorway. I saw what happened.
Seamus O'Reily: You were just a kid. What the fuck did you know about anything? Think my old man didn't beat me, that fucking scumbag? My life has been nothing but shit since the day I was born, and I didn't have no brother to lean on like you did. I been alone my whole fucking life, and soon...you will be, too.
Ryan O'Reily: I'll never tell anyone the truth about what happened with Carolyn. That's between you and me. But, Dad...You better pray to Jesus Christ almighty himself that I never get out of this place, because when I do...I will kill you.

Len Lopresti: Here you go Keller, your brand new home. They say the ghost of Shirley Bellinger still haunts this cell.
Chris Keller: Oh, yeah?
Len Lopresti: When the moon is full, you could still smell her vagina.
Chris Keller: You're a very funny guy there, Lopresti. You should think about doing comedy.

Augustus Hill: [final words] I-- I-- I can feel my legs.

Season Six[edit]

Dead Man Talking [6.1][edit]

Augustus Hill: Let me tell you, dying is a lot harder on the living than it is on the dead. Death really only hurts those left behind.

Len Lopresti: Hey, everyone. Meet the new member of our club house.
Jaz Hoyt: Kirk, you fucking cocksucker! You should be dead you little fucking prick!
Timmy Kirk: Don't be angry, Jazz-man. It's not your fault I'm alive. The truth is, I can't die.
Jaz Hoyt: Bullshit. Just give me another chance.
Timmy Kirk: Won't do any good. I can't die.
Chris Keller: Yeah, why is that, pumpkin?
Timmy Kirk: Because...I am Satan. And Satan will never die.

Cyril O'Reily: [in Jericho's voice] What you have to remember is that this is about power. You can not let these people take your power away from you. Remember, Cyril, you are the center of the universe. [Sees Keller looking at him] What the fuck you looking at?

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Smell No Evil [6.2][edit]

Ryan O'Reily: Hey Chucky, you've got a minute?
Chucky Pancamo: For you O'Reily, I've got only 28 seconds. But the way you double-talk, it should be plenty.

Timmy Kirk: [to Mukada] When I am executed, you will be stripped of your ministry, you will be abandoned by Holy Mother Church and you will spend the rest of your days wandering aimlessly and without hope. In death I will be triumphant.

James Robson: I don't really have anyone else to talk to in this place.
Sister Pete: That's what I'm here for.
James Robson: You ever been scared of dying?
Sister Pete: Oh, yeah. My first year here, a man named Warren Sticks, we were in the middle of a session and suddenly he leapt out of his chair and started to choke me. I blacked out, and when I came to I was lying in a pool of blood, his blood. He had slit his wrists with the edge of my tape dispenser. I realized he was attempting to knock me out so he could kill himself.
James Robson: You remember that sensation, thinking you were gonna die?
Sister Pete: Is that how you feel now?
James Robson: I've felt that way every day since as long as I can remember.
Sister Pete: How far back is that?
James Robson: Much further than I'd like. I was Gerald Robson's only child. Even as a kid, you do what you gotta do to survive, 'cause when you're six, running away is not an option.
Sister Pete: Did he beat you?
James Robson: Oh, yeah. And worse.
Sister Pete: Did he abuse you sexually?
James Robson: It's funny, here I am 36 years old, and I got nowhere to run. You know? And I-I guess what what I want to know is: Is it okay to do whatever is necessary to survive?

Timmy Kirk: You and me Jaz-bo, captured on film for prosperity.

Ray Mukada: I just got a call from the Vicar general. Because Kirk is dead, Monsignor Slon has convinced the police to drop the investigation against me.
Sister Peter Marie: You're back.
Ray Mukada: Yes. My prayers have been answered. Pete...I prayed for Kirk to die.

Sonata Da Oz [6.3][edit]

Vern Schillinger: Mayor Loewen.
Wilson Loewen: Vernie, I wondered when you'd pop up.
Vern Schillinger: It's great to see you, sir.
Wilson Loewen: Is that mail for me?
Vern Schillinger: Oh, yes. So, you comfortable got everything you need?
Wilson Loewen: Yeah, mm-hmm.
Vern Schillinger: You gave me quite a scare, well, when I heard you almost choked to death. When's the doctor releasing you?
Wilson Loewen: I go back to unit J tomorrow. Christ.
Vern Schillinger: Sir?
Wilson Loewen: Another hate letter. Some nigger says I got off too easy. He says he's got a cousin here in Oswald who's gonna airhole me. What does "airhole" mean?
Vern Schillinger: Kill.
Wilson Loewen: Black bastard.
Vern Schillinger: Don't worry your honor, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you.
Wilson Loewen: Oh, yeah, is that right, huh? Well, from what I hear, the Aryans in Oswald are a sorry bunch. That guy who saved me from choking, Beecher, I hear you've been trying to airhole him for about six fucking years and all you have to show for it is that little scar above your eye there.
Vern Schillinger: I did have his son killed. And his father.
Wilson Loewen: What are you, an idiot? Saying shit like that out loud? You know, Vernie, I've got to tell you I never thought you were the brightest bulb in the chandelier. You always had this huge ego with nothing to back it up. You always had these big plans with no balls behind them. Shit. If it weren't for your daddy, I wouldn't have given you the time of fucking day. You're an embarrassment to the brotherhood.
Vern Schillinger: I have balls.
Wilson Loewen: Speak up, boy, I can't hear you.
Vern Schillinger: : Nothing, sir.

A Failure to Communicate [6.4][edit]

Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Yo, what'd you call me? Yo, fuck you, you greasy old bitch.
Burr Redding: Hey, Poet.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Oh, what you think? I don't know where 122 Wayne Street is? Think again, bitch.
Burr Redding: What the fuck's wrong with you, son?
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Man, she said she wasn't about to give up her credit card number to some strange spook. How the fuck did she even know I was black?
Burr Redding: That's irrelevant. You hang up and calmly move on to the next call.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: No, man, fuck that, I ain't putting my pride on the line so some bullshit Senator can get re-elected.
Burr Redding: Well, in that case, you're fired.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: What?
Burr Redding: You heard me. Carry your lazy ass and that bad attitude off the premises! Move it.
Arnold "Poet" Jackson: Fuck you, Burr. Fuck you.

Len Lopresti: Okay, Cyril, time for another fabulous ECT treatment.
Cyril O'Reily: What's ECT?
Len Lopresti: Jesus, why is it every time, I got to tell you what ECT means?
Ray Mukada: That's because electroshock causes memory loss.
Len Lopresti: Oh.

TV news anchor: And on a more controversial note, in a stunning defeat for state prosecutors, convicted murderer Jazz Hoyt's death sentence was overturned. Instead of being executed as scheduled, Hoyt will be moved to the Oswald Correction facility's psychiatric unit, and then later to the Connolly Institute, a hospital in Morrisville, which specializes in treating the criminally insane.
Ryan O'Reily: This is bullshit! How come fuckin' Hoyt gets off and Cyril doesn't!?
Arnie Zelman: Well, from a purely legal standpoint, the circumstances of each case are very different.
Ryan O'Reily: So, you're telling me that from the eyes of the law, Jazz Hoyt's life is worth preserving and my brothers isn't?
Arnie Zelman: Afraid so, Ryan.
Ryan O'Reily: Goddamnit!
Arnie Zelman: Unless our latest appeal is excepted by the court, Cyril dies, two weeks from Thursday.
Ryan O'Reily: Fuck.

Antonio Nappa: Back in the 60's, the department of defense created the Internet. Little did they know they were mixing concrete to build the global village. There's nothing concrete about it, though. People get digital mail from electronic boxes, they congregate in chat rooms that have no walls and no doors. Millions around the world have instant access to each other and stores and food and entertainment, but if it's such a revolution in communications, why does studies show the more time one spends online, the more isolation one suffers?

4Giveness [6.5][edit]

Hill: A man stands in a cemetery, reading a letter he wrote forgiving his long dead father. The mother of a girl killed by a drunk driver is racked by fantasies of retaliation. Your boyfriend begs you for one more chance. You say to the mirror you're done hating yourself. But you know you're not. Maybe instead of forgive and forget, it should be forgive and remember. Remember that you might have to wake up tomorrow and forgive all over again. And again,and again, the way your heart keeps beating like a drum. Forgive. I can't. You can. Forgive. Forgive. I can't. You can. Forgive.

A Day in the Death... [6.6][edit]

Pablo Rosa: Yo, Rebadow, over here.
Bob Rebadow: What do you want today, Pablo?
Pablo Rosa: I want to know what the fuck your problem is, man. I mean, why are you treating Ms. C like a bitch?
Bob Rebadow: She's not a bitch.
Pablo Rosa: That's right. She's a nice lady. She's helping me ride out my time, and yet you're bringing her the fuck down. And the cancer? It ain't that big a deal. That's right, she told me yesterday. I guess she needed someone to talk to since you're acting like my younger fucking sister. Maria freaked out when my momma got breast cancer. Of course, she was eight. And mi Madre? She squashed that disease like it was a cockroach. I bet that's something you can identify with.

Junkyard Dawgs [6.7][edit]

Guerra: Marriage ain't marriage without sex.

Idzik: So don't you see? Everything that we do, the plans we make, the hopes we have, they're futile. Being good at a job, which I was, building a home, which I did, raising a family...which I had, none of it means anything because no matter how we try, how much we strive and struggle, it'll all come to naught. Life is a waste of time. So, that's why I'm counting on you to kill me. You will, won't you?

Hill: Forget about having too much garbage, too many bottles, cans, watermelon rinds, disposable baby diapers and such. What's really terrifying in terms of the long term health of the planet is toxic waste. Toxic waste, you can't put two worse words together except maybe (pause) nuclear war.

Schillinger: But Beecher knows too much about both of us. He's gotta die.
Keller: Yeah.
Schillinger: I'll deal with it.
Keller: No, I'll kill Beecher.
Schillinger: You?
Keller: Before I whack him, I just wanna fuck him in the ass one more time.

Keller: I concocted this whole god damned thing just to convince you that I'm on the up and up. Now, if I was really siding with Schillinger, Toby, you'd be dead already. But instead...all I really want...is for you to love me again. [Forces a kiss on Beecher]

Torquemada: Miguel Alvarez. I hear you're the man to know.
Alvarez: Whoever told you that was an idiot.

Ryan O'Reily: Yo.
Cyril O'Reily: Dad's coming to visit?
Ryan O'Reily: Well, not visit exactly.

Exeunt Omnes [6.8][edit]

Miguel Alvarez: I'm so tired. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the walls. The lies. The fear. The death. I'm so tired.

Vern Schillinger: You're a dead man, sweetpea. [Vern is stabbed and realizes that Keller switched the prop knife] That cocksucker!

Chris Keller: If it weren't for me, you'd be in the morgue, instead of Schillinger.
Tobias Beecher: Maybe.
Chris Keller: Yeah.
Tobias Beecher: But if you think I got any satisfaction out of killing him, you're wrong. You don't know me at all.
Chris Keller: I don't know you? I know you're free of that Nazi fuck!
Tobias Beecher: No, I'm not. No more free than I am of his two sons, or Metzger or Cathy Rockwell. Chris, after six years in this place I'm not sure about anything anymore. Heaven, justice, truth. The only thing I believe in is life. Every life is precious. Not just yours or mine, but every single person on the planet who's breathing, their lives are precious. And the loss of a single life, even in Oz, is my loss, too.
Chris Keller: Well, that's bullshit. The only thing that matters is you and me.
Tobias Beecher: I don't expect you to understand. You kill for sport.
Chris Keller: I don't understand? I'm not the one who got here by accident, pal. I kill because I have to. I kill what stands in my way like the Aryans.
Tobias Beecher: What? What about the Aryans?
Chris Keller: That they're no threat to us anymore. I took care of that.
Tobias Beecher: How? How'd you take care of it?
Chris Keller: Never mind, kiss me.
Tobias Beecher: Wait. Answer me this first, okay?
Chris Keller: Hmm?
Tobias Beecher: I want you to be honest, okay? Did you purposely fuck up my parole?
Chris Keller: Toby, I couldn't face the rest of my life living in here without you. Don't you see? I did what I did out of love.
Tobias Beecher: If you really love me, then leave me alone.
Chris Keller: I can't.
Tobias Beecher: Listen to me. Listen to me. I loved alcohol. I loved heroin. I had to put them behind me because they were poison. Death. You are death. Let me live.

Tobias Beecher: When God was designing the universe why did he make something so wonderful so fucking painful?
Sister Pete: I think he thought we could handle it.

Augustus Hill: So, what have we learned? What's the lesson for today, for all the never-ending days and restless nights in Oz? That morality is transient? That virtue cannot exist without violence? That to be honest is to be flawed? That the giving and taking of love both debases and elevates us? That God or Allah or Yahweh has answers to questions we dare not even ask? The story is simple. A man lives in prison and dies. How he dies that's easy. The who and the why is the complex part the human part the only part worth knowing. Peace.

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

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