Screwed (2000 film)
Screwed is a 2000 American comedy film starring Norm Macdonald, Dave Chappelle and Danny DeVito, and written and directed by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski. The film also stars Elaine Stritch, Daniel Benzali, Sarah Silverman, and Sherman Hemsley. The film, released by Universal Studios, is rated PG-13 (in the United States) for crude and sex-related humor, nudity, language, some violence and brief drug content.
- [after Rusty hits the cop over his head with a desk lamp]
- Willard: What the hell did you do that for?
- Rusty: I was scared!
- Willard: So every time you're scared, you hit a guy over the head with a desk lamp?
- Rusty: And that's why you should never trust a black man named Chip!
- Willard: Mugged? It was more like rape!
- Willard: Well, not real rape.
- Rusty: Your daddy didn't say, "If you work for Ms. Crock, you'll get ahead." He said, "If you work for Ms. Crock, you'll get head!"
- Rusty: Sweet Jesus! We kidnapped a turd!
- Police in Car: Halt! This is the police!
- Rusty: Well, no shit!
- Miss Crock: Whoooooo cares?
- Miss Crock: But I have to go to the stadium!
- Willard: You ain't got to do nothing until I tell you, you smelly old bitch!
- Miss Crock: [after finding out the Danish are pulling out and also finding out the realization of not paying the ransom] Fuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk!
- Everyone gets it in the end.
- Norm Macdonald - Willard Fillmore
- Dave Chappelle - Rusty P. Hayes
- Danny DeVito - Grover Cleaver
- Elaine Stritch - Mrs. Crock
- Daniel Benzali - Detective Tom Dewey
- Sarah Silverman - Hillary
- Sherman Hemsley - Chip Oswald
- Malcolm Stewart - Roger
- Lochlyn Munro - Officer Richardson