Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves
Appearance
Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves (also known in PAL regions as Sly 3: Honour Among Thieves, or simply just Sly 3) is a video game which stars Sly Cooper and the gang. It's a sequel to Band of Thieves. Thieves in Time came out after 8 years later.
The Whole Cooper Gang
[edit]Sly
[edit]- Cops 'round here really like to make an impression.
- Aw. Come on, pal. There's always a way.
- Hello, assorted meatheads... and lady. Anyone feel like getting some exercise?
- [pirate accent] Argh, I forgot me #2 pencil for the scantron test!
- And... I'm out.
- 'Guys like me'? Are you saying I've got some competition for your affections?
- Hope that manhole works both ways!
- How about you stop sending these guards up to kill me?
- Listen up, Dirtbags! Time to clear out! From now on, this bar is Cooper Gang Turf!
- The lasers! I get it, I can slide on the laser beams! Dad, you old rascal!
Bentley
[edit]- Don't worry, my pet. I'll make this quick and painless.
- [to distract guards] Yo, mama! / I'm yelling at you! / Hey, you with the low self esteem! / Follow the sound of my voice. / Yo, ugly! / (chicken noises) / ♪ You will never find me! ♪ / Hey, pay attention to me! / Hey, fatty! / Up your nose with a rubber hose! / Aloha, idiot!
- I'm allergic to tomatoes!
- Let go of me, you geriatric fiend!
- [to Sly] I can't believe that worked. You've got the worst Italian accent I've ever heard... No offense.
- (While sabotaging the work of Don Octavio) Look away if you must, you're about to witness the dark side of electrical engineering. Kill a bunch of poor innocent fish, will he?
- Another falls before my digital kung-fu! Hi-ya-cha-cha-cha!
- Another terminal... terminated.
- Uh, we need to put the smack down on these bad dudes... for justice.
- That sneaky devil!
- When you two are done making out, I'll see you back at the Safehouse. Sheesh!
- [to Muggshot] Your mother is a broken down tub of junk with more gentlemen callers than the operator!
- Oh boy, here comes the big guns. And by "guns" I mean a flying, giant, whale-dragonfly thing covered in robotic junk!
Murray
[edit]- (To Don Octavio) That does it! I'LL FLOSS MY TEETH WITH YOUR SPINE!! "The Murray" returns!
- The Murray knows no song, but the triumphant horn section of his own triumph!
- Keep it peaceful, and I'll smash up anything you'd like!
- What's the point of having fists if you can't bash steel doors with them?!
- My mind is clear, like the woodlands after a forest fire.
- Greetings, old– (Sees Carmelita) Inspector Fox!? Man, you're in it again.
- What was Genghis Khan's favorite meal? The brains of his enemies. That wasn't really funny, just gross and weird, you've gotta admit weird right?
- Find the match deep inside yourself... light it, and let the fire burn up your gut and boil your blood!
- The Murray has been and always will be... FINESSE!
- That's right, plug-head! I'm like a semi truck with its brakes cut!
- Keep your head down, stay clear. I'm going to crack alot of skulls and I don't want your's to be one of them!
- Yes! The Murray lives! I will never forget you, brave little RC car! We will be friends forever! You can ride in my van!
- Yeah! You're all knocked down and "The Murray" stands tall! Like a freaking totem pole of strongism!
- YES! The Cooper Gang, rules the roost! We're the kings of the hill! The totally maxed-out, heavy weight, champions!
New member(s)
[edit]Penelope
[edit]- (about Sly) I love to see him pull off those athletic moves.
- (about Bentley) Nobody touches that turtle… but me.
- Opening the door for a lady, and some say chivalry is dead.
- In position.
- I have a visual.
- I'm on it.
The Panda King
[edit]- I endeavor not to miss.
- Ha! With my fireworks, it will fly, as the bird! (lights fuse) Fly, bird! FLY!
- (gleefully) The fuse is lit!
- YOU ARE... correct. Forgive me, my mind is not always my own.
- Fear not, Cooper! I shall not kill you this day!
- If you truly wish to aid me, stand still and let my fireballs cook your flesh!
Dimitri Lousteau
[edit]- Murray? That name's a stain on my pants, bro. Whuh?!
- My style, it's like smoke. Ungrabbable, and all over the place!
- The Baron has eyes, eyes and ears, ears and fists!
- Showtime, baby!
- I'm MAG to the JAG to the EFICENT baby!
- ♪ I dive baby, I dive for the love! ♪
- This no small-time favor like, "Will you water my fish or feed my plant?" No way, bro! This old school! Mafia blood-pact favor, like in movies, big time!
Dr. M
[edit]- (on phone) Yes? Water leaking into the lab? I'm on my way down. Oh, and get a janitor for the lab elevator... Richards got sloppy.
- You're as weak as your father!
- (Meeting Sly Cooper for the first time) Cooper...! No, you must be Sly Cooper, the new keeper of the cane! How I've longed for this.
- Ha ha! You and your foolish friends keep trying to beat me with your guns! They're like toys to my creatures. If this Whale-Fly had vocal chords he'd laugh at your silly little faces! (Laughs)
- Ah, Murray. You're much stronger than McSweeney ever was.
Carmelita Fox
[edit]- No one hurts my criminal!
- That's right! Hide in the sewers like the rat you are!
- First things first. Put Cooper down and we'll talk terms.
- Blast it, Sly. Why run? Why not face me like a real man?!
- Don't move or I'll zap you.
- Interpol, I've captured Sly Cooper. Repeat, captured Sly Cooper. Requesting instruction unit, over.
- Cooper! (groans) These guys have to brag, even when they're running away.
- Sly Cooper and his secret plans. Who's this "veiled bride" he's so interestd in anyways? Well, he's not the only one who can play the disguise game. I'll give and his gang a shotgun wedding they'll never forget!
Don Octavio
[edit]General Tsao
[edit]- (Upon confronting Sly Cooper) Ah, the famous Sly Cooper. It seems you and your little gang were able to follow the trail I left for you. Of course, you'll be helpless without them as you soon discover.
Black Spot Pete
[edit]Captain LeFwee
[edit]- [last words before his death] Smartest man of the 7 seas!
Dialogue
[edit]Beginning of the End: The Cooper Vault
[edit]- Bentley: This is it, Sly. The gang's assembled and are in position to help you get up to that vault. For the rest of the operation, you are "the ball".
- Sly Cooper: Roger, Bentley. I'm starting my approach. Getting over these fortress walls shouldn't be a problem… Look, we're running 5 by 5 here, make sure everyone's in sync.
- Bentley: I hear that. Artillery, sure you can make that shot?
- Agent Monarch (Panda King): I endeavor not to miss.
- Bentley: Excellent. Radio Control?
- Agent Heartthrob (Penelope): In position.
- Bentley: Recovery Team?
- Recovery Team (Murray): I'm pumped!
- Bentley: Submersibles?
- Agent Deep 6 (Dimitri): Showtime, baby!
- Bentley: Telekinetics?
- [Agent Old Rock (The Guru) speaks Aboriginal]
- Bentley: Alright, it's the crime of the century and "the ball's" in motion!
- Dr. M: Cooper?! No. You must be Sly Cooper, the new keeper of the cane. Oh-ho. How I've longed for this.
- Sly: This vault belongs to the Cooper family. You're trespassing.
- Dr. M: No, naive boy. You're trespassing! I've got the deed to this island! This fortress is mine! Everything here is MINE! Which now includes the key to the vault. Hand over the cane.
- Sly: Sorry, pal. Family heirloom. Buy a knock-off at the gift shop.
- Bentley: It's not working! Save yourself!
- Sly: If he wants to eat, eat this!
- Sly [narrating]: It was like they always say - your life really does flash before your eyes. There it all was… stretching back to my childhood. Born into a family of master thieves that went back for generations, I was next in line to continue the Cooper name… but fate had different plans. I was robbed of my childhood when a ruthless gang attacked our home. The orphanage I landed in wasn't all bad. It was there that I met my lifelong friends. Bentley, he's always been the thinker… and Murray, he's the doer. We'd stuck together over the years and our skill, our confidence, and our thieving reputation grew stronger with each heist. We thought that the good times would never end and that our luck would never run out… which only made things tougher when the odds finally caught up with us… then I met this guy, McSweeney, who claimed to have run with my father's crew back in their heyday. They pulled jobs all over the world and amassed quite a collection of priceless items. It was then that McSweeney told me all about the Cooper Vault. It seemed that my father, like all my ancestors, had been hiding their wealth in a secret place for generations, each one adding to the treasure hidden behind a door that, if McSweeney's story is true, only a Cooper can open. Using some well-placed clues provided by McSweeney, we set out for the secret island that held the vault. On arriving, we discovered someone by the name of Dr. M had already set up shop. From the looks of it, he'd been trying to crack the thing for years, growing steadily more frustrated in his failures and more paranoid as the decades rolled by. He'd built himself a fortress with security as tight as Fort Knox. Getting inside the place would take precision, creativity, and moreover, it would take an army of world-class thieves. Finding and bringing together that much talent won't be easy, but to get inside the Cooper Vault and collect my inheritance, I was willing to pay the price.
Hazard Room
[edit]- Bentley: If we're gonna make it to the Cooper Vault, we'll need to perfect our thieving skills. I've rigged this place to push us to our limits.
- Sly: I'm guessing these levers start the different trainers.
- Bentley: That's right, each will initiate a streamlined crash course in grand larceny. I'll head for the control room and we'll get things started.
- Sly: Dish it out. I'm ready.
Sly's tutorials
[edit]Navigation
[edit]- Bentley: Okay, all great thieves have one thing in common.
- Sly: A ton of cash?
- Bentley: No, they never get lost. Use the right analog stick to look around the Hazard Room... try to find the Cooper Gang marker I'm projecting.
Spire jump and crawl
[edit]- Bentley: You picked up a lot of skills after reading the Thievius Raccoonus.
- Sly: Heck of a page turner, that book.
- Bentley: Let's see if you remember them all. Check out those small points on that wire. You can land on them light as a feather using your Ninja Spire Jump.
- Sly: Easy, I just jump and hit the circle button.
- Bentley: Exactly! Try getting over to the other platform.
- Bentley: Looking good, Sly.
- Sly: You know how I love the second story work.
- Bentley: Sure, but how do you feel about tight spaces? Try getting through the small opening in that wall. Hit the circle button when you're close to crawl inside. [Sly crawls under the wall] Nice job, Sly. You're a credit to the Cooper name.
Climbing
[edit]
- Bentley: That's it, I give. You've made it through all of my challenges.
- Sly: Hey, don't feel bad, those wall hooks were kinda tricky.
- Bentley: It was all supposed to be tricky... anyhow, you've proven you know how to get around. A word to the wise, anywhere you sense a thieving opportunity, you know, see the blue sparkles, you can use a circle button move.
- Sly: Pretty handy.
- Bentley: Yes. Yes it is.
Guards
[edit]
Spycam
[edit]- Bentley: As you know, we sometimes need reconnaissance photographs to plan for a heist.
- Sly: Ah, the humble recon photo. The unsung hero of many a caper.
- Bentley: I've outfitted your binocucom with a camera. Click down on the right analog stick to bring it up.
- Sly: I tell ya, Bentley. You designed this thing really well. The left analog stick aims where you want to look, and the right analog stick lets you zoom in and out. So easy.
- Bentley: Why, thank you. Try to get a good picture of that chair suspended from the ceiling. You might have to zoom in a little. Press the R1 button to take the shot.
- Bentley: Of course, it won't always be so easy. Sometimes you'll need to get a better vantage point.
- Sly: That shouldn't be too difficult.
- Bentley: Your targets can also be moving... makes getting a good shot that much more difficult.
- Sly: It's okay, so long as I'm quick with the zoom I'll be fine.
- Bentley: Let's put it to the test. Take a picture of each of these guards without getting caught.
- Sly: There you go, Bentley. Some wonderful pinups for our refrigerator.
- Bentley: They're lovely. High art.
- Sly: Seriously?
- Bentley: No, but you've shown some real skill with the binocucom's camera. Nice work.
Bentley's tutorial
[edit]- Sly: Alright Bentley, things can get pretty rough out in the field. You'd better be prepared.
- Bentley: "Preparation" is my middle name... my wheelchair is totally equipped.
- Sly: Good to hear. As our resident demolitions expert, you'll need to be handy with the bombs.
- Bentley: No problem, just have to hold down the triangle button and out comes the goods.
- Sly: Okay, try dropping a bomb on that crate over there.
- Sly: That's some quality pyrotechnics, but how are your bombs versus guards?
- Bentley: Against sleeping guards, I'm like a Greek god. All fall before me.
- Sly: Let's see what you got.
- Sly: Nice work. Now how about someone awake?
- Bentley: I just put them to sleep too. My chair's been outfitted with a top of the line sleep dart launcher. In fact, I even linked it to my binocucom.
- Sly: Smart, so you just click the right analog stick to bring it up.
- Bentley: And to shoot, I press the R1 button.
- Sly: Have you got a zoom function on that thing? Might be fun to snipe from a distance.
- Bentley: Yup, it's all on the right analog stick.
- Sly: Try taking out that guard. Might have to zoom in a little. He's pretty far away.
- Sly: Alright, Bentley. You make this look easy, but how's your aim against moving guards?
- Bentley: With a zoom function and nerves of steel, I'm ready for anything.
- Sly: That chair's pretty sweet, got any other gizmos in there?
- Bentley: Oh yeah, it's my own design. The pick-pocket-pole, or the PPP for short.
- Sly: A fishing pole with a magnet?
- Bentley: Ingenious, huh? By default, it's linked to the L1 button.
- Sly: And you can rob someone with that thing?
- Bentley: I just keep the L1 button held down, sneak up behind a guy, connect with the magnet, then pull back to yank out the loot.
- Sly: Sounds just like fishing. Try it on this guy right here.
- Sly: I'm impressed with your pickpocketing technology, but how is it against someone in motion?
- Bentley: Allow me to demonstrate. I just hold down the L1 button, attach and pull... couldn't be easier.
- [after Bentley pickpockets the guard]
- Sly: That chair of yours is a wonder. You've packed so much technology into such a small space!
Murray's tutorial
[edit]- Bentley: Alright, Murray. Time to brush up on your power moves. The first one is throwing stuff.
- Murray: Pluck it and chuck it, that's me.
- Bentley: To pick something up, just get close and hit the circle button. To throw, just face your target and press the square button.
- Murray: Circle, square, ain't hardly fair! Looks like I've got plenty of rocks to throw with.
- Bentley: Try breaking all those pillars.
- Murray: Can do.
- Bentley: Nice job. You can also pick up guards when they're knocked out.
- Murray: Great! I knock the small guys out with one punch!
- Bentley: You might have to be a little more subtle with the big flashlight guards, they're pretty tough. Sneak up behind this guy and sucker punch him while he's not looking, then pick him up and throw him at the pillar.
- Murray: Gotcha. Sneak up, sucker punch, grab, throw, destroy! Kids' stuff!
- Bentley: Let's see what you got.
- Bentley: An easy way to knock out guards is to throw something at them.
- Murray: Ah, the old rock to the head routine.
- Bentley: Yep. Throw a rock at that guard to knock him out. Then pick him up and throw him at that pillar.
- Murray: Can do, little brother.
- Bentley: Well done. Okay, what's different about this next guy?
- Murray: He's got a ton of cash in his back pocket. Chump! He's just asking, begging me to rob 'em!
- Bentley: That's right. You may not have the agility or technology to pick his pocket, but you can use your strength to mug him quite thoroughly.
- Murray: Oh, yeah. I just knock 'em flat then pick 'em up.
- Bentley: Once you've got him above your head, press the circle button to shake loose any coins he has and collect the goods. Keep at it until he's empty.
- Murray: The Murray will give this high roller a shakedown he'll never forget.
- Bentley: Okay, Murray. The juggle grab is one of your most powerful moves, you ready?
- Murray: Born ready!
- Bentley: When facing off against smaller opponents, you can knock them into the air with your triangle button uppercut and then grab 'em before they hit the ground by pressing the circle button.
- Murray: Okay, okay. Let me see if I've got it. Hit them with my triangle button uppercut then yank 'em out of the air by pressing the circle button. That right?
- Bentley: You got it. For this test, you'll have to pull it off 3 times and throw the guards at that pillar over there. Don't waste your time trying to fight 'em, just focus on the technique.
- Murray: Bring on the pain!
- Bentley: Excellent work. Another handy move is your Thunder Flop.
- Murray: Oh, yeah. Terror from above!
- Bentley: Just jump and press the square button to break this ground plate a few times. [Murray "Thunder Flops" the ground plate] I got to hand it to you, Murray. You're ready to take on the world.
An Opera of Fear
[edit]- Sly: [narrating] Getting inside a world-class vault would take a team of world-class thieves, a group of specialists, each member contributing their own particular talent. It was clear that we needed Murray back. Not only was I missing a lifelong friend, but his brute strength helped get us out of more than a few scrapes in the past. When Bentley was injured during the whole Clockwerk affair, Murray blamed himself, eventually leaving the team. We tried to console him, but going out on his own was something he needed to do. He said he wanted to find his spiritual center. We got word that Murray ended up in the Australian outback where he studied a mystic art called the Dreamtime from an Aboriginal guru. From all accounts, things went pretty well, and his teacher even sent him on a walkabout to locations all over the globe to complete the training. Latest reports have sighted Murray in beautiful Venice, Italy, but what he's doing there is a mystery. I just hope he steers clear of the local mob boss, Octavio. Growing up, this guy used to be a real celebrity in the neighborhood. Everyone loved to hear him sing opera and said he was destined to be the next great tenor, but just as his career started to take off, musical tastes changed. Suddenly, it was all about rock music, and no one wanted to listen to opera anymore. He held onto a few fans, and it was these mobsters that took him into "the business." Heading onto this guy's turf was dangerous, but worth it for a chance to make things right with Murray.
- Sly: Murray… is that you?
- Dimitri: Murray… That name's a stain on my pants bro. Wha!? Cooper, you got some fuzzy dice coming round here.
- Sly: Dimitri? Long time, no punch. Still in jail, I see.
- Dimitri: And you're still a cracker box.
- Sly: Let's get past the name-calling and get to business.
- Dimitri: Looking for main man Murray, eh? Sorry, but I'd rather see you get busted big time! GUARD!!! POLITZIA!!!
- Sly: Wait! [in his head] Gotta think of something to keep him quiet. I could try...
- [a list of options is presented to the player]
- [if the player chooses "Threatening him"]
- Sly: Rat me out to those cops and I'll get thrown in there with you. It'll be a heck of a cage match and we both know who'll win... or did you forget Paris?
- Dimitri: Eh, worth it to see your smug face behind the bars!
- [if the player chooses "Flattery"]
- Sly: Where's that generous nature you're so famous for? I always pegged you as the bigger man in these types of situations.
- Dimitri: I'm a big man, big with the payback and the sex appeal. Got that ant? I control the beat on this track, you're just the dancer.
- [if the player chooses "Cutting a deal", the correct answer]
- Sly: If those cops get their mitts on me, who's gonna break you out of jail?
- Dimitri: You might get this cell door open, but the cops would throw down and bust me on the way out, and then I'll gets the double sentence, grief!
- Sly: [in his head] He's right, it'll be tough getting him out of here. I need a plan. Maybe I could...
- [another list of options is presented to the player]
- [if the player chooses "Disguise us both as police, then walk out?"]'
- Sly: Tell you what, I'll steal a couple of police uniforms. We'll suit up and then just walk out the front door.
- Dimitri: Come on, man, I'm a fashion all-star! No way, no how I'm dressing up in polyester pig suit... some things worse than jail.
- [if the player chooses "Take him with me up the air vent"]
- Sly: Look, I got in here through an air vent. We can both use it to escape.
- Dimitri: I can't fit in no vent! You spy my macho frame? I'm packing too much sexy muscle to fit in vent like you stick dudes.
- [if the player chooses "Distract the cops so he can get away", the correct answer]
- Sly: How about I get the cops' attention then run for it. Once they're all outside, shooting at me, you can slip out no problem.
- Dimitri: Now that's a plan I can get behind! Dimitri is free and Cooper is cooked. Key for cell is in head cop lady's office.
- Sly: Okay, great. This other lock won't be a problem... I should be able to crack it by hand.
- Dimitri: Get me out of here and I'll find Murray, no sweat. Just keep on the down low and outta sight near them coppers, bro... They're a bad bunch of bunnies.
- Carmelita: You have some nerve showing up in my squad room!
- Sly: I was concerned we were growing apart.
- Carmelita: Then lets spend some quality time in my interrogation office.
- Sly: So forward…? Whatever happened to the demure girl I used to know?
- Carmelita: She grew up and stopped taking grief from guys like you.
- Sly: Guys like me? Are you saying I've got some competition for your affections?
- Carmelita: You're the only man in my sights right now.
- Murray: Greetings old… [sees Carmelita] Inspector Fox!? [to Sly] Man, you're in it again!
- Sly: Hope that manhole works both ways! [he and Murray enter the manhole]
- Carmelita: That's right. Hide in the sewers like the rat you are!
- [Sly and Murray come out of a different manhole across the city.]
- Sly: Thanks for the quick escape. I owe you one... again.
- Murray: Of course, searcher. We are all in need of peace.
- Sly: You're really whole hog on this Dreamtime stuff, huh?
- Murray: My mind is clear, like the woodland after a forest fire.
- Sly: Listen, Murray... we need you back on the team. That thing with Bentley, it wasn't your fault. He doesn't blame you for the wheelchair.
- Murray: Sorry, Sly, I walk a different path. My Guru, in his wisdom, told me to lose myself, and not return until the black water ran pure. So here I stay.
- Sly: You sure he didn't tell you to get lost, and not come back until the you've cleared out the water filter?
- Murray: Come on! I'm on a real spirit quest here!
- Sly: Sorry, sorry… Tell me everything. I've missed you, pal.
- Murray: Well, it's a long and awesome story. You got any gum?
- Bentley: Murray refuses to join the gang until the commitment to his Guru has been fulfilled. Whether we like it or not, we've got to go deal with Venice's tar problems in order to, as Murray puts it, "make the black water run pure". Thanks to Inspector Fox's fine detective work, we already know that Don Octavio is somehow connected. As non-law operatives, we'll be able to tackle this situation in a more "head-on" fashion. First, we break into Octavio's opera house. If he's hiding anything, we'll find it. We should also keep a close eye on the Don. Some photographic evidence of him connected to the tar might be enough to get the old mobster put away. Of course, meanwhile, I'll monitor local communication frequencies. With some luck, we might pick up some quality intel.
- Bentley: So according to these decrypted files, Octavio is pumping tar from underneath the foundations of buildings, so he can sink them into the canals on a whim! He's going to demonstrate this destructive ability to the people of Venice during his opera recital on the first day of Carnevale. To counter this threat, we'll first destroy the balloons and sign advertising the recital. If no one shows up, he'll have no reason to sink a building. Next, the blueprints to the main tar vacuum have been cleverly split into three parts and hidden in local coffee houses owned by Octavio. Unfortunately, they're under constant guard, so you'll need to use a disguise to get us inside. Also, some big Vincenetti goons have been called in as "insurance" for the recital. Given their size, I think it's prudent to fool Carmelita's ape mercenaries into taking them out for us. And finally, we'll have to convince Murray into taking to the field. If he's learned the Aboriginal Ball Form, it'll be just the thing for destroying the local tar reservoirs.
- Bentley: Any problems with that guy?
- Sly: Said he wanted to be buried in his mom's pasta sauce.
- Bentley: Yeah. That's, uh... That's strange.
- [Sly opens the door and Bentley goes inside]
- Sly: You know, I just can't get it out of my head. Have you ever had pasta sauce that tasty? I don't want to distract you or anything, but I just don't think I've ever had cooking that good. Are we missing out on a universe of flavors?
- Sly: That explosive had some kick!
- Bentley: It was a child compared to this ferocious beast. Don't dilly-dally with this one, it's got a longer fuse but you've got farther to run.
- Sly: "Ferocious beast"?
- Bentley: Run, Sly! Run! Fear the beast!
- Sly: Put my friend down or I'm going to knock out all your teeth, one at a time, and make you eat 'em.
- Don Octavio: Oh! Is that-a the best you got? Back in my day, we had enforcers that would make people-a pee their pants just by-a looking at 'em.
- Bentley: With Octavio's comeback opera recital just a few hours away, we're all set up for the main event. Get ready for Operation – Tar-Be Gone! Our objective – get Murray back on the team. Sly, you'll start things off by using your disguise to sneak into the opera house. Make your way to the pump room, and let me in through the side entrance. Thanks to the blueprints we stole, I now know just where to bomb to cripple the machinery, then we'll go for Octavio's detonation switch. I'm sure you'd agree that we just can't leave a weapon that powerful in the hands of such a madman, so I'll distract the old mobster with an opera duel. He's sure not to attack while we're both on stage. Meanwhile, you'll cut the lines to the chandelier and drop it on his head! I'll swipe the switch and we'll both find Murray. By then, the black water is sure to be running clear and he'll be free to come with us.
- Sly: It's over, Octavio. You're beat. Give us the demolition switch and we'll all try to ditch these cops.
- Octavio: [pulls out the demolition switch] You chasin' me fuh this! Fine big shot. It took me 6 months to prepare this-a thing, but what the hey? I got more where this came from.
- Murray: You guys see that boat go out of control and jump and smash into that thing? Destruction! So cool!
- Octavio: You think that was "cool" punk? Heh-hee-heh. [pushes the button and several buildings collapse] Ha-ha-ha... ack... hack! [approaches Bentley]
- Bentley: You monster! Stop it! Stop it!!
- [Octavio kicks Bentley]
- Sly: Murray, I need your help. I've never seen someone move that fast. Octavio's old, but he's still got it. Let's take him together.
- Murray: But… but... I vowed to my Guru that I'd renounce all violence… and the water is still black!
- Sly: It'll be clear any minute, trust me. Now let's take him!
- Octavio: You're right to be scared, Hippo. Your wheelchair friend shoulda been so smart.
- Bentley: Murray… help.
- Murray: [gets angry and rips off his necklace] That does it! I'll floss my teeth with your spine! [jumps down and punches Octavio] "The Murray" returns!
- Sly: [narrating] With the fight over, we went back and scraped Bentley off the pavement. It was touch and go for a while there, but we managed to sneak out right under Carmelita's nose. Octavio wasn't so lucky. The guy got 30 years behind bars for what he did to Venice. I guess Italians don't like it when you sink their landmarks. Ironically, he found success as a singer while in jail. After all, most of his old fanbase was already in the clink… but the big score here was bringing our old pal back into the gang. Once he put on those gloves and that mask, it was clear to everyone, most of all him, that "The Murray" had returned.
Rumble Down Under
[edit]- Sly: [narrating] At first, it seemed just like old times. The gang was back in action… but little by little, we learned that Murray's heart just wasn't in it. Without the Guru's permission to give up on his Dreamtime training, he'd never really felt comfortable returning to the gang. We knew we needed to help him out… so we packed up our things, whipped up some quick disguises and headed for the Australian outback. Along the way, Murray told us story after story about his teacher's amazing abilities. Apparently, this "Guru" of his was capable of fantastic feats. He used the Dreamtime to blend perfectly into his surroundings and even gain mental control over the weak-minded. If even half the stories were true, then this was a guy I just had to meet. Our gang needed to grow its ranks for a chance to get inside the Cooper Vault, and this Guru, this outback mystic, was looking like the best recruit we could have ever asked for. However, when we finally arrived in the outback, it was a shock to find that things had changed, and the Guru was nowhere to be seen.
- Murray: My master spends most of his time up there in that cave, overlooking the valley and contemplating the depths of deepness. I really appreciate you breaking the news to him that I want to break off my training.
- Sly: No problem pal, I'm looking forward to meeting him. Anybody you call "master" must be a heck of a guy.
- Murray: Oh, he's awesome! He'll get inside your head and freak you out 6 ways from Sunday!
- Sly: Uh… awesome.
- Sly: Sorry, pal, this cave's empty. Got any other ideas where he might be?
- Murray: Well, that's his hut, but he doesn't really hang out there on... account of "the smell".
- Sly: "The smell"?
- Murray: It's a long story. I had to apologize up and down for like a month before he'd speak to me again.
- Sly: What'd you do?
- Murray: The unspeakable, Sly. The un-speakable!
- Sly: Well, thanks for "speaking" of it. I'm headed for the hut.
- Sly: Sorry, Murray. Nobody's home. By the looks of it, I'd say the Guru was fighting someone or something off here. I'm starting to think the miners might have got to him.
- Murray: You may be right. They'd come in and be all angry and yelling, and he'd be all peaceful, and they'd just get ticked… then he'd try to find "a middle way", and they'd just go crazy and smash everything up, and then haul him off!
- Sly: Where do you think they might have taken him?
- Murray: They got him! My master's a goner!
- Sly: M-maybe we should get Bentley on the line.
- Bentley: It's tough to say, but... given the layout of the miners camp, I'd venture a guess that they use that area with a high fence as a makeshift stockade.
- Sly: Hmm, looks like there might be a way up using that cliff below. Shouldn't be a problem.
- Bentley: Just keep an eye out for that gyrocopter. I'm positive it's what gave away the Guru's position.
- Sly: Good tip. Thanks, pal.
- Bentley: The Guru won't leave the stockade until he has his Walking Staff and his Moon Stone. He also insists that we purify Ayers Rock of all miners. Only then will the Dreamtime spirits be appeased, and the Guru will be free to use his powers. Sly must've impressed him in their conversation, because now he has requested that Murray and I meet with him individually. Something about judging our "Spiritual Centers". I've discovered a passage through one of the miners' caves that should make getting up to the Guru less difficult. He also mentioned that the miners had foolishly unearthed The Mask of Dark Earth. I guess it was his job to guard the thing, and now that it's out, bad things are sure to follow. Sounds like mumbo jumbo to me, but we've encountered some unexplainable phenomena over the years, so I'm not gonna rule it out as a threat to our operation.
- Bentley: Nice work, Sly. The sonic vibrations caused by that drill should drive the giant scorpions in the area to the surface. If we can capture a bunch of red soldier scorpions, releasing them into Ayers Rock is sure to push out the miners.
- Murray: Sounds like a job for The Murray! One question though - how do I capture scorpions with a truck?
- Bentley: The vehicle is equipped with a supercharged e-brake which, if pulled when moving, will cause a forward flip. Time it correctly and you'll trap a scorpion in the mining nests built into the bed of the truck.
- Murray: Okay, Bentley. Bring on the scorpions!
- Bentley: Not so fast. The truck's tires will heat up quickly in this blazing hot sand. You'll have to cool them down by driving into the water or running over scorpions. Watch your heat meter to make sure they don't melt. And remember, we're only interested in the red soldier scorpions. The blue worker scorpions won't help us scare the miners off. The truck controls are straightforward, hold the X button to go forward and the square button to drive in reverse. When you're going fast enough, press the R1 to flip over and trap that scorpion.
- Bentley: The Guru has agreed to join our team! Provided we can rid his homeland of the dingo miners and deal with the Mask of Dark Earth. A tall order, but we're up for it. First we'll enlist the aid of some local wildlife to help "thin" out the miners ranks. Murray will feed our foes to a local giant crocodile. With some luck, he'll take a liking to the taste of miners and chow down on them left and right! Second, we'll hit these guys where they live, or at least relax. If we can clear 'em out of this lemonade bar, it'll be a crippling blow to their morale. They'll be begging to go home. And finally, Sly'll use some mining equipment to drill for radioactive oil deep beneath the dried lakebed. Trust me, it's the key to getting rid of the Mask of Dark Earth.
- Bentley: Time we subtracted a few miners from the equation.
- Murray: You know I don't understand that math talk!
- Bentley: Uh, we need to, uh... "put the smackdown" on these uh... "bad dudes"... "for justice".
- Murray: Righteous! I'm the man for the job!
- Bentley: The Guru will start luring miners to a position near this giant crocodile. Your job is to throw the thugs into the mouth of the monster.
- Murray: Teach him to like eating miners, huh? That's a sinister plan, Bentley. I approve!
- Bentley: With some luck, the oversized reptile will be an invaluable asset in our efforts to drive away the miners. He might even take care of our Mask of Dark Earth problems. I've spotted it prowling near the safe house.
- Murray: Roger. It's feedin' time!
- Bentley: You can feel it in the air, the miners are about to pack it in! In fact they'd probably already be long gone if it weren't for the corrupting influence of the Mask of Dark Earth. It's clear we need to destroy it. Time for Operation - Moon Crash! To start things off, we'll need the Guru to take out the gyrocopter. With it gone, we'll have clear skies for phase 2. Now according to Aboriginal folklore, the Mask of Dark Earth is the sworn enemy of the Moon Spirit, so given Murray's... "moon shape", we'll coat him in the glowing oil and have him pose as the spirit. We'll then dangle him from the crane. The Mask is sure to spot his ancient foe and come running. That's when we'll strike! Murray, Thunder Flop off the crane and obliterate that Mask! With the Mask destroyed and the miners run off, the Guru we'll be free to join the team for the Cooper vault job!
- Bentley: Drat! We can't stop the operation now. We'll just have to give her a wide berth.
- Sly: Roger, applying "wide berth".
- Bentley: Quit horsing around and look out for the mask. It's close. I can feel it.
- Sly: [narrating] Carmelita just lay there, unconscious, helpless on the desert floor. Being "gentlemen", we kept watch over her throughout the night. Her camera proved to be a real source of entertainment as we took turns posing. Didn't want her to go home empty handed. Morning broke, and we got a clear view of the landscape. It was beautiful, empty of the miners that had been digging and drilling into the sacred place. The moment was broken as Carmelita began to stir, and we prepared for another quick exit. Only this time, it wasn't just the 3 of us. For the first time in Cooper Gang history, we picked up a new member, and the team would never be the same.
Flight of Fancy
[edit]- Sly: [narrating] Bentley was obsessed. Every night, he'd pour over the blueprints to Dr. M's fortress, looking for a way to get into the Cooper Vault. He soon came to the conclusion that there was no way inside unless the gang picked up a dedicated RC specialist - an expert who had mechanical and piloting skills far exceeding his own. After weeks of searching techy chat rooms, he finally found someone who could keep up with him intellectually - a gearhead genius out of Holland named Penelope. She politely declined our invitation to join the team, saying she only works for "the best". Apparently, her idea of "the best" was her boss, the Black Baron - a bigtime dogfighting champ up there in Holland. He's so good that he's even set up an international competition called ACES to attract worthy opponents. A few days later, she sent us a counteroffer. If our gang could manage to beat the Black Baron at his own game, then she'd know were weren't just a pack of jokers and therefore worth her time, so we got busy. With no time to lose, Bentley and Murray worked to put a plane together... while I got my pilot license the fastest way possible. We'd prove to this Penelope that the Cooper Gang was up for the challenge, even if we were making it all up as we went along.
- Bentley: If we're going to succeed in this year's ACES Competition, we'll need to know who we're flying against.
- Sly: What, they keep the flight roster a secret?
- Bentley: Correct. In years past, competitors would go out at night and sabotage each other's planes, in preparation for the next day's dogfight.
- Sly: I get it. So now they keep the line-up a secret and no one knows who to mess with.
- Bentley: Precisely. Look, Sly. You're a good pilot, but we've only got 1 plane and you'll be up there against dozens of bogeys.
- Sly: You know, normally I'd makes some sarcastic remark about how "overwhelmed I am by your confidence in me", but those are some grim odds… and well, you know, I'm always up for some sabotage.
- Bentley: Glad to hear it. Now the roster is kept secret from the pilots, but not from the event staff.
- Sly: Do we have a mole on the inside?
- Bentley: Our "friend", Dimitri, has been hired to give "color commentary" during the dogfights. He'll know where the roster's hidden. Scout him out somewhere in the hotel lobby, but be careful. If you start a fight with the other pilots, we'll be kicked out of the competition.
- Sly: Sure. We all play nice until tomorrow, then we blow each other to bits at 300 feet.
- [Sly approaches Dimitri]
- Sly: Dimitri? Funny seeing you here. Never pegged you as a fly boy.
- Dimitri: Like a dance floor with many lights, I have many profiles, dig? Don't even try to understand the silky enigma of Dimitri.
- Sly: Bentley seemed to think you might have a copy of the ACES flight line-up. That true?
- Dimitri: And why should I talk to a two-bit, rooty-poot cracker-box like you? Question mark in bold... WHY?!?
- Sly: [in his head] Looks like I'll need to intimidate him a little. Maybe I should...
- [a list of options is presented to the player]
- [if the player chooses "Threaten violence"]
- Sly: Listen, "pal". we both know who'll win in a fight between the two of us. I'm not looking to start something here, but you know I'll finish it.
- Dimitri: True that, raccoon. In the mono-a-mono you win. But look around, you soft sock. It's a supersized aviator blowout! Start a fight in hotel, and disqualification will be yours. You want that, Jack?!
- [if the player chooses "Threaten to expose him"]
- Sly: You might want to think about talking, pal. I could always rat you out to the Black Baron, then you'd be out of a job.
- Dimitri: I'd have no job, and you'd have no nada flight line-up. Go ahead, blow that whistle. I'll be seeing you in the losers' hot dog banquet.
- [if the player chooses "Use a logical argument"; the correct answer]
- Sly: We both know you're going to tell me. You wouldn't have bothered showing up if you didn't want to talk, so spill it.
- Dimitri: I know, but to talk is like sitting on electric chair! The Baron has eyes, eyes and ears, ears and fists! Dimitri will be discovered, and the jig is pinched!
- Sly: [in his head] This guy's paranoid. Looks like I need to calm him down a little. Maybe I should...
- [another list of options is presented to the player]
- [if the player chooses "Promise to protect him"]
- Sly: If you talk, me and the gang, we'll protect you. We're all in this together. You can count on us, you know our reputation.
- Dimitri: The Black Baron is a big wheel. He'll roll all over us! Too many men he commands. We can't stop them, too many to count!
- [if the player chooses "Swear to keep it all a secret"]
- Sly: You talk, and the secret stays between us. I am a thief, after all. Keeping things quiet is what I do best.
- Dimitri: Trust a band of thieves?! Do I look chumpy to you?! Your "promises" will be cold comfort when I'm pushing up the daisies with concrete overshoes.
- [if the player chooses "Compliment him, make him feel good"; the correct answer]
- Sly: Come on now, Dimitri. A man like you can deal with this Black Baron. You've got the best fashion sense of anyone I know.
- Dimitri: Le Fashion— Style? You... you're right! If I can out-dress him, I can certainly outsmart him. All is told through clothes. Okay, I'll talk of flight line-up if you can agree to owe Dimitri... a favor, which I'll collect in a few months of time.
- Sly: A favor?
- Dimitri: This no small time favor like: "Will you water my fish or feed my plant?" No way, bro! This old school mafia, blood-pact favor... like movies, big time.
- Sly: [in his head] This guy's a real nut job, not sure I want to owe him. I could...
- [another list of options is presented to the player]
- [if the player chooses "Refuse"]
- Sly: No dice. I'm not in the habit of racking up debts, and I don't plan on starting now.
- Dimitri: "No dice", "no debt", no ACES flight line-up! The choice is yours... Take debt and take flight roster, otherwise take away nothing!
- [if the player chooses "Offer him a bribe"]
- Sly: Would a few coins maybe change your mind? I find it's a lot easier to talk when I'm "rich."
- Dimitri: Bribe money? Le Bling?! Cash won't help me get done what needs getting done. I need gang of thieves, not federal reserve.
- [if the player chooses "Agree to the favor"; the correct answer]
- Sly: Okay, Dimitri, hook me up with the flight roster and we'll owe you one.
- Dimitri: Done! The bargain, she is struck! To find flight roster, look behind one of the tacky paintings in Black Baron's air hangar. It's hidden in secret safe.
- Sly: Art decryption lock, huh? I know just the guy for the job.
- Dimitri: [gasps] Stand cool, here comes Big Cheese!
- [the Black Baron enters the hotel lobby]
- Black Baron: I bid you all a most flamboyant welcome, my esteemed comrades of the skies. Welcome, WELCOME to another year of the ACES competition. We've got teams here from across the globe: Canada, Belgium, Ecuador, Iceland, Korea and many, many more! Not the least of which is last year's deadly runner-up, Team Muggshot!
- Muggshot: This time we're gonna drill you jokers fulla holes! [some of the pilots laugh]
- Black Baron: Now, we all know that in years past, some teams have engaged in a little "good-natured" late night hi-jinx.
- Pilot 1: Like when Team Canada stole Ecuador's parachutes!
- Pilot 2: Or when Team Iceland sawed the landing gear off Korea's planes! [laughs]
- Pilot 3: Or when Portugal put rat poison in Team Muggshot's coffee machine!
- Black Baron: Yes, yes. That was all so very funny, but no more! You know the rules, no one, absolutely no one is to leave the hotel after sunset. If my guards catch you outside, you will be beaten to within an inch of your life. No exceptions! This will be a fair competition!
- Pilot 2: Same as last year and the year before. I've got the scars to prove it!
- Black Baron: I bid you all an exuberant and exaggerated farewell, pilots. Tonight, sleep like geese... and tomorrow, soar like eagles, high! What-what? Ha-ha! [leaves]
- Bentley: They don't lock the front door to the hotel. This isn't a jail, but you heard the Baron. Once outside, things will get dangerous!
- Bentley: Okay, fellas. According to the ACES flight lineup, we'll be flying against Team Iceland and Team Belgium in tomorrow's semifinal round. As you're all aware, we've only got a single plane, while our opponents will be flying 15 apiece. You got that guys? That's 30 to 1 odds against us. In order to give us a fighting chance, we'll need to pin these two teams against each other. First, Murray and Sly will paddle through the sewers beneath town to get access to an air vent leading into Team Iceland's hotel room. Steal one of their trademark Viking helmets, then head over to Team Belgium's hangar. Vandalize one of their aircraft, then plant the helmet in order to frame Team Iceland for the damage. Next, Murray and I will steal one of Team Belgium's monogrammed handkerchiefs. Meanwhile, the Guru will break into the Team Iceland supply truck carrying their lucky ice sculpture. Sly will steal the art, and then place the handkerchief insinuating Team Belgium for the crime. Get it? We frame both teams so they'll be gunning for each other and not Sly in the semifinals! All the while, I'll be setting up defenses around the Team Cooper air hangar. You never know when one of the other teams might come looking to do us some harm.
- Bentley: You're a heck of a woman, Penelope.
- Penelope: I know. That's what my homepage says.
- Bentley: Thanks to Sly's flying we're officially in the ACES finals! Our opponents - Team Muggshot and Team Black Baron. The rules in the finals are a bit different than normal. Whoever takes out the defending champ gets the title. Hear that boys? It's all about taking down the Baron! Our only real competition will be Muggshot himself. We need to remove him from the competition. Here's the plan - I'll challenge him to a fist fight out in the town square. Sly, you find and lure Inspector Fox to the same place. When the two meet, the sparks are sure to fly! With some luck, the big guy'll get carted off to jail and we'll have clear skies for the finals. However, the Baron won't be so easy to deal with. He commands an enormous team of fliers and has been known to bring in a squad of blimp gunships when things look grim. The answer to our problem isn't obvious, although it is potent. Behold - Lupus Gigantormus. I'll drug the beast so that the Guru will be able to ride it and take out some of the local guards, who also serve as the Baron's pilots. Obviously, the fewer enemy pilots Sly has to deal with in the finals, the better. Next, I'll hack into the aircraft control tower. If successful, I'll be able to intercept any messages the Baron might send to his gunships. Alright, team. We've got all night to prepare. If we take this thing, it'll be more than a trophy - Penelope is sure to join our gang. After her stellar work defending our hangar, I'm sure we'd all agree that she's a prime recruit.
- Bentley: It's time we dealt with Muggshot. We can't risk him taking down the Baron before you in the finals.
- Sly: Not to mention he deserves a little payback for what he did to our aircraft hangar.
- Bentley: True, true. Since Muggshot's assault, the Baron has been keeping an eye on him. We can't fight him out in the open... for risk of getting disqualified. Thankfully, Inspector Fox is out in the field looking for us.
- Sly: I hear ya, we'll set 'em against each other. Muggshot is an international criminal after all. Carmelita won't be able to resist.
- Bentley: My only concern is for Inspector Fox's safety.
- Sly: Oh, don't worry about her. She's more than a match for a meathead like Muggshot.
- Bentley: Okay, I'll pick a fight with Muggshot and bait him into meeting in the Town Square for our "rumble".
- Sly Cooper: You do that. I'll get Carmelita's attention and lead her back here to the same place.
- Bentley: Agreed.
- Sly: I've gotta hand it to you, Bentley. This is a really underhanded plan.
- Bentley: Why, thank you! I'm feeling pretty good about it.
- [a disguised Bentley approaches Muggshot]
- Muggshot: Aw, beat it, twerp. The Black Baron's been giving me the grill since that "event" in yer hangar.
- Bentley: Perhaps you'd like to take out some frustration by... engaging in a physical battle with me outside in the town square?
- Muggshot: No way! I'm bein' watched here. That, and it wouldn't feel right poundin' a four-eyed runt in a wheelchair.
- Bentley: [in his head] I've got to bait him into a fight. Maybe I should insult...
- [a list of options is presented to the player]
- [if the player chooses "His record versus the Cooper Gang"]
- Bentley: I'm sure you wouldn't win in a fight anyway. You've got such a long, sad history of losing to the Cooper Gang.
- Muggshot: I could whip your whole gang with one arm if you jerks would sit still! Look at these arms! [flexes his muscles] I'm unstoppable!
- [if the player chooses "His breath]
- Bentley: My head is spinning from your breath. What, do you gargle with raw sewage every night before bed?
- Muggshot: Yeah, yer half right. I find a nice tang to my breath helps maintain my "personal space."
- [if the player chooses "His mental faculties"]
- Bentley: Do you even know what I'm saying to you? Or are you too stupid to understand the words coming in through your ear holes?
- Muggshot: What? What's an "ear hole"? Talk sense, why don't ya!
- [if the player chooses "His appearance"]
- Bentley: Y'know, I've been thinking about your appearance.
- Muggshot: Look, if you don't got nothin' to say nice, then don't say nothin' at all. Get it?! [Bentley silently stares at Muggshot] What? Ain't got no sassy comment, smart guy? [Bentley continues to stare silently] Oh, I get it. You got nothin' nice to say, so you're keepin' quiet. That's real cute. [Bentley continues to stare silently] You really got nothin' nice to say? That's cold.
- [if the player chooses "His mother", the correct answer]
- Bentley: Your mother was a broken-down tub of junk with more gentleman callers than the operator!
- Muggshot: NOBODY TALKS THAT WAY ABOUT MY MOTHER!!! NOBODY!!!! Okay, little broken-down runt! Looks you're about to be broken-down even more!
- Bentley: Town square, five minutes. Please don't be late.
- Sly: Hey, Inspector Fox! Still looking for a date to the prom?
- Carmelita: Quit running, and I'll pin the corsage on you!
- Muggshot: Mess with me? That little punk is gonna eat dirt. [notices Carmelita] Hey! You're that cop hag that busted me back in Mesa City!
- Carmelita: Muggshot, alias "2-Gun Tony", also known as "Meat-Head" Muggshot. 7'3", 324 pounds, wanted in 7 countries with 13 outstanding warrants for your arrest… And yes, I'm that "cop hag" that put you away back in Mesa.
- Muggshot: Well, wise guy… lady. Feel like goin' for another shot at the title?
- Carmelita: It's my duty to put you behind bars. That, and I enjoy making tough guys cry like the stupid babies they really are.
- Muggshot: I ain't no stupid baby!
- [after Carmelita defeats Muggshot]
- Muggshot: [losing consciousness] Mutha, that you? I'm sorry... I didn't know they was yours.
- Carmelita: Ugh, booking this idiot'll take all night. Ah, well, I'm sure Cooper won't make his move anytime soon.
- The Guru: [speaking in Diksha]
- Bentley: Thanks, Guru. You always know just what to say.
- Bentley: Thanks to our combined efforts, we're now ready for the final round of the ACES Dogfighting competition. Put on your helmets, cause it's time for Operation - Turbo Dominant Eagle! In just a few hours, Team Iceland and Team Belgium will begin fighting it out in the B-Champs round. This'll provide the perfect cover for step one of my plan. Sly, use the catapult and your Paraglider to get access to the local gunships. Plant some tracking devices, then head back to the team hangar and suit up for the finals. Murray, you're up next. Use your rowboat to pull down the aircraft communication antenna. With it out of commission, the Baron will have to use an unscrambled radio frequency to call in the gunships for backup. If that happens, I'll be ready with our secret weapon, and with the tracking devices installed, I'm guaranteed not to miss. In the end though, it'll be up to Sly. This is a sudden death competition. The first team to take out last year's champ wins! That's if the Black Baron doesn't take out all the competition first.
- Bentley: Excellent! The B-Champs dogfight is beginning! With these guys going at it, no one will notice as you slip onto the gunships and plant a tracking device.
- Sly: Sounds straightforward enough. Where'd you get these trackers? They look kind of funny.
- Bentley: Best I could do on short notice. They're sensitive to extreme changes in altitude. You'll have to pull this job off at high elevation or it's a bust.
- Sly: Shouldn't be a problem.
- Sly: [narrating] It was quite a revelation - Penelope and the Black Baron were one of the same, but before we could even process this turn of events, we were rushed to the winner's circle. Somehow, against all odds, we'd become this year's champions. There was a bit of an awkward moment between Bentley and Penelope. I guess the photos they'd sent each other over the internet were a bit... exaggerated. That night, Penelope explained that the disguise was invented to get her past the dog fighting league's strict age requirements. However, after winning, the Baron became a celebrity, and she found herself putting on the costume more and more often. But now, with the Black Baron out of the picture, she was free to take up a new path, and she joined the gang without hesitation. The next day, our newest recruit treated us to a week long aerial tour of Holland. She was fitting in just fine.
A Cold Alliance
[edit]- Sly: [narrating] After a careful analysis of Dr. M's fortress, Bentley came to the difficult conclusion that his demolition skills just weren't gonna be enough. If we wanted to get inside the Cooper Vault, we'd have to recruit a full-time demolitions specialist. However, Bentley's proposed candidate was a shock - my old enemy, the Panda King. As a member of the original Fiendish Five, he had a part in taking out my dad and stealing pages from the Thievius Raccoonus. Eventually, I caught up with him and I claimed back what he had stolen. There was no way I was gonna let that monster on my team, but Bentley was firm. He discovered the Panda King had left his life of crime and was now a monk living the life of quiet meditation high up in the mountains. I wasn't at all convinced, but there was no denying that he had the skills we needed if we were to succeed… so the gang packed up, put on our disguises and headed east... to China.
- Sly: Stay sharp, team. For all we know, the Panda King is just as dangerous as ever.
- Bentley: How can you say that? Just look at him. Have you ever seen someone more at peace with the world?
- Sly: I'll admit, he does look kinda "zenned out".
- Bentley: Uh... Mr. King? Honorable Panda King, we humbly wish to speak with you.
- Sly: I guess he doesn't want to talk. Sorry, Bentley, let's go.
- Bentley: Be realistic, Sly. He's clearly in a deep meditative trance. Hmmm, it'll take some doing, but I think I see a way to get the team up to his shrine.
- Murray: Good! The walk up here tired me out. I don't wanna turn around now. Man, I miss the van. We never had to walk anywhere back then.
- Sly: Okay, okay. Let's just get this over with.
- Bentley: Murray, you're up first. If you can get to the top of that pillar, you should be able to use your ball move to bounce all the way up to the Panda King.
- Murray: Okay. Bouncing is a lot easier than more walking. Seriously, do you guys wanna see my blisters?
- Penelope: No way! Is he serious?
- Guru: [speaking in Diksha]
- Murray: Yeah. Okay, master. Bouncing, pillars, piece of cake! [jumps down]
- Guru: [Speaking Diksha]
- Bentley: I hear that. Sometimes, you've got to be firm.
- Penelope: No, seriously. Is for real about the blisters? 'Cause, uh... I don't know it. Yeash!
- [the same area from the first game]
- The Panda King: I see you carry the cane of the notorious Cooper thief clan. Have you come here for revenge… to steal back the Thievius Raccoonus?
- Sly: Wow! This is like the time I beat the stuffing outta you.
- Panda King: Why should you care if bury a few worthless villages in the snow? You are a thief, just like me.
- Sly: Um, yeah. Are you even listening to what I'm sayin'?
- Panda King: Insolent child, you shall pay dearly for your disrespect. Still, to honor your Cooper ancestry, I will send you to your doom with the beauty of my new firework technique... Flame Fu!
- Sly: [short pause] Uh, oh.
- [after Sly depletes one-fifth of the Panda King's health]
- Sly: Snap out of it! This is all in your head!
- Panda King: My mind is clear, focused on your destruction!
- Sly: [in his head] I've got to break him out of this memory loop. Maybe I should...
- [a list of options is presented to the player; if the player chooses an incorrect, he/she will have to deplete another fifth of the Panda King's health before choosing another option]
- [if the player chooses "Threaten him"]
- Sly: You know how this'll end. I've already beat you once, I can do it again.
- Panda King: I have NEVER known defeat, I am unbeatable!
- [if the player chooses "Play nice"]
- Sly: Look, I'm here to help you, to get your mind out of this rut.
- Panda King: If you truly wish to aid me, stand still and let my fireballs cook your flesh!
- [if the player chooses "Say something from the past"]
- Sly: You're just a frustrated firework artist turned homicidal pyromaniac.
- Panda King: Am I, am I?! Let us find out!
- [if the player chooses "Make him sad", the correct answer]
- Sly: We both know why you're here. You're fixated on the moment of your greatest defeat. I beat you, and forever after you've wondered how it all fell apart.
- Panda King: I hate you, Sly Cooper, you've ruined me... ruined the Panda King.
- Sly: And I've hated you, but that doesn't make any of this real. Years have passed a-and we've both changed... Come out of this trance. Let's meet each other as we are today, a-and let go of who we were when this fight occurred.
- Panda King: YOU ARE... [calms down] correct. [bows] Forgive me, my mind is not always my own.
- Sly: [narrating] The Panda King wasn't any more excited about the notion of him joining the gang than I was. If it weren't for the Guru who, for some reason, really hit it off with the old guy, the whole deal would've been a bust. We could see the anger in the Panda King's eyes as he recounted how he lost a member of his own family. A daughter who was abducted by a powerful general from the northern mountains. She was to be the bride in a forced marriage to this unscrupulous ruler, and Panda King was exiled. We agreed to help him recover his lost daughter in exchange for his skills in the Cooper Vault job. I still wasn't convinced this was a good idea, but a deal's a deal.
- Bentley: We all know that our objective here is to retrieve the Panda King's daughter, Jing King. She's being kept against her will by this man, General Tsao. A real, this guy. During surveillance, I actually witnessed him kick a puppy… twice! He plans on forcing Jing King to marry him next Saturday. Clearly, time is of the essence. Here's the plan - first, I'll approach Tsao in disguise and attempt to get hired as his wedding planner. Hopefully, with a man on the inside, we'll get some news on Jing King. Still, we need more information! Two of us will need to work together to steal a pair of twin keys and break into Tsao's house of business. Once inside, I'll need to utilize some new technology to circumvent their ultra-tight security. Finally, thanks to Penelope's air sweeps, we've picked up an unusual radio signature out in the water. Someone will need to go eyeball the anomaly and figure out what it is. We can't leave anything under chance here, or Jing King lives unhappily ever after.
- Bentley: The operation is running smoothly. With access to General Tsao's database, and Sly successfully hired as the wedding photographer, we're ready to make an attempt for Jing King. Given the complexity of Tsao's downloaded data, I programmed my computer to automatically analyze the— What the…?! G-General Tsao!? He's... he's got my computer! Our whole plan is on that computer! How did he find us?! We're doomed!
- Sly: Bentley, calm down! I need you sharp. Listen up, team, this Tsao character is more clever than any of us thought. As of this moment, we have one goal - steal back the ThiefNet computer. The time for subtlety is over. Bentley, break into the palace and ransack his personal computer. He might have linked it to ours. If so, that's where we'll start. The rest of the team will stand ready. No telling where this might take us.
- Bentley: A-ha, I think I've found something. His diary mentions a secret passage through the prayer bell, then a "walk across the heavens". You getting this, Sly?
- Sly: I'm en route to the bell right now.
- Bentley: Better bring along the Guru. This sounds like his department.
- Tsao: Ah, the famous Sly Cooper. It seems you and your little gang were able to follow the trail I left for you. Of course, you'll be helpless without them, as you'll soon discover.
- Sly: I'm not ashamed to rely on my friends.
- Tsao: Who needs friends when you can have servants? Who needs affection when you can have obedience? Ah, why try to convince you when I can simply destroy you? This sacred forest has been the stage for hundreds of battles, as my ancestors crushed anyone who got in their way, and you will be no different.
- Sly: Bentley, are you hearing this? What's he talking about?
- Bentley: I've heard of these types of battlegrounds before. The energy from all the fighting that has gone on before strengthens the combatants, allowing them to soar for long distances. You should be able to fly all the way across the arena with one jump! Plus, you can probably change directions in the air with your double jump.
- Tsao: Enough chit-chat, Cooper! Face me now, and prepare for the end of your legacy.
- [Sly defeats Tsao in the first round and falls to the ground below. Tsao laughs.]
- Sly: Come back and take it like a man! [jumps down after Tsao]
- Tsao: Well done, "esteemed wedding photographer". I'm impressed you've lasted this long.
- Sly: Stop this, Tsao. Release Jing King and this fight can end.
- Tsao: No! Jing King is mine. Once our bloodlines cross, it shall be glorious. The Panda King, in his day, was magnificent. With the Tsao name, a new generation of Kings will be unstoppable!
- Sly: But she doesn't want to marry you!
- Tsao: She's a woman, she doesn't know up from down. Once I "convinced" her father to take up meditation, she was ripe for the picking.
- Sly: I've faced a lot of bad men in my time, but you, sir, are the worst.
- Tsao: Oh, it gets worse, Cooper. Up until now, I've gone easy on you, but now... now you'll sample the ancient black arts of the family Tsao!
- Tsao: You have won this battle, but the war rages on! [hands over Bentley's laptop] Take your foolish computer. It won't help you. Jing King is mine.
- Sly: Jing King is a person, not property… and sorry, pal, but we're ending this right now. [coughs after Tsao throws a smoke bomb and escapes] (Or not.)
- Tsao: Beware... beware the power of Tsao!
- Bentley: Thankfully, we've managed to retrieve the ThiefNet computer. However, all of the plans stored inside are now compromised! The wedding is still on. Jing King remains Tsao's prisoner. Yes, we are going to free her, but that's not enough. No, for this heist, we really need to put the screws to this guy. He's earned it, so we're cleaning out his treasury as well. A feat impossible without Murray's van. Unfortunately, all that time in the ice has ruined its polycellular battery. I'll need Sly's help to acquire a new one, which won't be easy, as the General's gone all out with security. He's even resorted to black magic dragons and hopping vampires patrolling the streets. We'll need to even the odds before the wedding. Sly, you and the Panda King will work to gather some fireworks and blow up the vampires' crypt. No crypt, no more vampires.
- Bentley: That's it, one of Tsao's firework stashes for the ceremony.
- Sly: This lock looks pretty standard, but I'll need some help carrying the goods.
- Bentley: The Panda King is the man for the job, he's strong, good with explosives and capable of dealing with multiple opponents. Once we get enough fireworks, he should be capable of blowing the hopping vampire crypt sky-high.
- Sly: Look, Bentley, I know you believe in the guy, but... I don't trust him yet.
- Bentley: You don't have a choice, he's the only man for the job. I'll go get him and send him your way.
- [Bentley meets up with the Panda King in his quarters]
- Bentley: This is it, Panda King. We need you for a field mission. Sly's trying to break into a fireworks cache and he needs help.
- Panda King: Fine. I will be there presently... You may go.
- Bentley: Look, I don't mind telling you I'm putting my neck on the line here... we're all counting on you.
- Panda King: I... will mind your neck.
- [Bentley leaves; the Panda King heads to a mirror to talk with his inner self]
- Panda King: Hello, old friend. I'm about to work alongside Sly Cooper, and I cannot carry you with me on the journey.
- Inner Panda King: You fool! This is your chance for revenge! He humiliated us! Ruined us! Made us weak!
- Panda King: Humiliation was a crossroads. I have chosen to walk the path of humility.
- Inner Panda King: Humility that cost you your daughter! Destroy Cooper now!
- Panda King: [in his head] My mind is fractured. No action can be taken until he and I are in unison. Cooper is at the center. Sly must live...
- [a group of options is presented to the player]
- [if the player chooses "To help save Jing King"]
- Panda King: Without Cooper and his associates, I stand little chance of rescuing Jing King.
- Inner Panda King: Little chance?! Allow yourself to dip into my hateful fury, and we can save Jing King single-handed!
- Panda King: Such an action would cost many lives.
- Inner Panda King: Your path to moderation will cost you Jing King!
- [if the player chooses "So that you may live"]
- Panda King: Without Cooper, who would you have to hate? Your reason to cling inside my mind would be gone.
- Inner Panda King: No. If you killed Cooper, it would be you who would disappear. I would take your place!
- [if the player chooses "To teach us humility", the correct answer]
- Panda King: Cooper is a teacher of humility. We have slain his parents, yet he manages to trust us. By studying him, we will become whole.
- Inner Panda King: I have no desire to join with my weaker side. You are failure. I am the strength that used to be, the once glorious Panda King!
- Panda King: You are strong, and I am humble... but, only through cooperation will we become the father Jing King needs.
- Inner Panda King: The Yin and the Yang?
- Panda King: If strength were all that mattered, Tsao would be an ideal son-in-law.
- Inner Panda King: Very well, Cooper shall live.
- Panda King: Fear not, Cooper. I shall not kill you this day.
- Sly: Um... Ditto.
- Bentley: Time to free Jing King, rob General Tsao blind, and send him up the river! I call it "Operation - Wedding Crasher". This will be a multi-pronged job, with 2 groups working simultaneously. I'm sure I don't need to stress the importance of the schedule to anyone. First; Sly, Penelope and Murray will make their way past all the security in Tsao's Treasure Temple and then drop the goods off to me for loading into the van. Meanwhile, the Panda King and (the) Guru will tunnel beneath the palace, creating an escape route for Jing King. Sly, you'll have to pull double duty, taking care of any topside security designed to detect subterranean assaults. Once you guys are done, I'll use my Grapple-Cam to lure Inspector Fox into the palace, where we'll try to get her to take Jing King's place! Then with the girl and (the) loot in hand, we run for it!
- Sly: Hey, Murray. Tsao's on his way to your position. How you coming with the treasure?
- Murray: We're doing awesome! Stand aside, Penelope. Cannonball!
- Penelope: No, wait!
- Murray: Uh, oh…
- Sly: [narrating] General Tsao had his wedding right on schedule. Everything was as he'd arranged... except the bride came as kind of a shock. Carmelita was a little disappointed it wasn't me she busted at the alter, although I doubt she minded taking Tsao into custody. He did after all plague the streets with the undead. From what I hear, the locals were happy to see him go. We dropped off Jing King with her aunt. The Panda King insisted that she'd be safe there and that he needed to pay off his debt to the gang. I was still wary, but there was no denying that his skills would come in handy. Needless to say, we lived it up in the backstreets of Shanghai. What kind of gang of thieves would we be if we passed up on recreation like that?
Dead Men Tell No Tales
[edit]- Sly: [narrating] We got the message late one Saturday night. Dimitri was calling in the favor I'd promised him back in Holland. He'd gone ahead and booked the whole team passage under assumed identities... to none other than Blood Bath Bay. Easily the most lawless town on Earth, it's home to a group of cultural hermits who doggedly maintain the ways of their pirate forefathers. The cruise over gave us some time to get the rundown from Dimitri. I guess his grandfather, Reme Lousteau, was a pioneer in deep sea diving. He'd made a fortune looting undersea wrecks. Although, his luck ran short when a young cutthroat by the name of Black Spot Pete stole not only his loot, but his precious diving gear as well. A broken man, Reme retired from treasure hunting and eventually started a family. Dimitri, growing up on his grandfather's stories, dreamed of one day recovering the gear. So that was our task. We'd been called in to get our hands on this miraculous diving equipment. Not all bad, really. If things go our way, the team might get a frogman out of the deal, which Bentley figures will be a big help cracking the Cooper Vault.
- Bentley: There he is. Black Spot Pete.
- Sly: I didn't think pirates could get that old. Thought scurvy would get them or something.
- Bentley: Don't lower your guard for an instant. All pirates are killers, plain as that, and they don't trust outsiders at all. How's your pirate accent?
- Sly: [pirate accent] Arggh, I forgot me #2 pencil for the scantron test. ([normal voice] How's that?)
- Bentley: Joke all you want, but that guy won't help us out until you earned his trust.
- Sly: Black Spot Pete, I've come to talk of treasure, a subject I hear you're familiar with.
- Black Spot Pete: Treasure! Aye, but I won't chatter with the likes of you on so blessed a subject. Get out of m'sight, landlubber! All my years, I only spoke of the golden kindness with m'partner, Cantankerous Tim.
- Sly: Maybe we can work out a bargain.
- Pete: Shut your mouth hole, lubber, or I'll cork it with my cutlass! Hard on the tonsils, I assure ye!
- Sly: Salt of the Earth that Black Spot Pete.
- Bentley: It's clear to get anywhere with the old coot, we'll need to fool him into thinking that you're Cantankerous Tim.
- Sly: What happened to Tim anyway?
- Bentley: His lieutenants mutinied on the old guy and divided the plunder, including his captain outfit.
- Sly: This is the only real pirate town left. They got to be around here somewhere.
- Bentley: You're right. That's Stone Jake, toughest guy you'll ever meet. He took the eye patch.
- Sly: Hmm, tough enough to take an anchor dropped on his head?
- Bentley: Good plan. That'll do the job, matey. Stone Jake has a thing about monkeys. If you whack the palm trees, he's sure to come running. Perfect for luring him under the anchor.
- Bentley: Thanks to Black Spot Pete, we've got a lead on Reme Lousteau's treasure. It's buried somewhere on Dagger Island, a landmass many leagues from our current position. To make the voyage, we'll need to steal a pirate ship from the harbor. No easy feat given the cutthroat nature of these... cutthroats. First, Murray and Sly will steal a jollyboat and blast the rudders off any ships that could chase us out into the open ocean. The action is sure to provoke the harbor patrol, so be prepared for a sea battle. With them out of the way, no one can stop us from leaving harbor. Meanwhile, Penelope and I will work together to break into LeFwee's keep and steal the map to the buried treasure. Once both objectives are reached, we'll steal a ship and set sail for Dagger Island, then it'll be a simple matter of following the map and digging up the loot.
- Bentley: I wish I could walk on tightropes and land on flagpoles, but I can't.
- Penelope: You can do other stuff. Sly can't rewire a satellite or write ASCII code.
- Bentley: Sly can't even spell ASCII.
- Dimitri: Granpapa's treasure! Hold the beat, bro. I come to help you dig, dig?
- Murray: We're all coming, Sly. This is too cool!
- Sly: Well, Dimitri, it's your loot. I think you should have the honor.
- Dimitri: I open with joy. You Cooper Gang is a tight groove. Van Gogh Bullseye! The primo diving gear to accentuate my deep-down diving style!
- Penelope: It's so intricate. Your grandfather was an artist. I've never seen such fine craftsmanship.
- Dimitri: He had the juice, check it! The gear even matches my suit! I can dance, dive and accessorize!
- Sly: What else is in this chest?
- Bentley: Clearly, the only goal at this point is saving our teammate and friend, Penelope. LeFwee's ship, the Death's Head, has sailed back to Blood Bath Bay with her on board as captive. Things look grim. There's no way we'll be able to sneak into the harbor. Even the backside of the island is inaccessible due to reefs. To put it plainly, we're in for a fight. LeFwee is an intelligent opponent, and we'll need to do everything in our power to stack the odds in our favor. First, we'll put Dimitri's new diving gear to use by salvaging some weapons from a nearby shipwreck. We'll need the extra firepower to deal any kind of damage to the armor-enforced Death's Head. It'll also come in handy for our second objective - destroying the Red Sail Sea Dog Clan. They're a fleet of mercenaries on LeFwee's books. We need to surprise them now while they hunt us in small groups. If they ever attacked in unison, there's no way we'd make it out alive. And finally, we'll set sail for the misty waters inhabited by a sea monster the pirates call "Crusher". Reports on Crusher are sketchy, but we might learn something by analyzing its technique. I know for a fact that all of LeFwee's men fear it. An impressive and useful trait given our current situation.
- Bentley: These deep misty waters are said to be home to the monster. Keep a sharp eye out.
- Sly: Sorry, Bentley, but I can't see a thing in this fog. If your sea monster is here, there's no way we'll find him.
- Bentley: It's imperative we track it down and discover why the pirates fear it so vehemently. Panda King, do you have any fireworks that might light the place up a little, make it easier to spot the creature?
- Panda King: My fireworks are not flares. They burst with ferocious beauty and then disappear like the lightning.
- Sly: We should really get out of here. With visibility this bad, we might sail into a rock. The boat might take some real damage. [Crusher destroys the ship masts] Okay, now that's some real damage.
- Panda King: The sea monster is upon us! Go below deck and placate the others. I will confront this creature with my firework artistry!
- Sly: Give a shout if you need any back up. I'll stand ready.
- Bentley: Operation — Reverse Double-Cross! Our goal, as we all know, is to save Penelope. Given her crafty nature, LeFwee has undoubtedly locked her up in one of his most secure locations. They are... 1 - the Skull Keep, and 2 - the brig of the Death's Head. Our team is too small to assault both simultaneously, so we'll have to fall back on a little sleight of hand. First, we sail in and exchange broadsides with the Death's Head. Armed with the element of surprise and our cannon upgrades, it should be a fair fight, but remember, Penelope might be on board, so we cannot sink this ship. Once the masts fall, Sly should jump onto the enemy vessel and then promptly surrender. A necessary step for 2 reasons. First, that boat is packed with pirates: way too many to fight hand to hand. And second, it's the best way to get an audience with LeFwee. Given his smug nature, he's sure to brag where she's hidden if we can get him angry enough. Got that, Sly? Irritate the daylights out of this guy. It's our best and only chance to rescue Penelope. Once he talks, we roll out plan A or B, depending on the situation. This LeFwee is a smart man. Our only hope is to outsmart him at his own game.
- Sly: [narrating] LeFwee was beat, outsmarted by our own resident genius who'd done more than just rescue a team member, he'd won himself... a girlfriend. It was nice to hear 'em talk. They'd have these conversations the rest of us couldn't even follow. Far as I could tell, they were made for each other. Dimitri was in love too. The new diving gear had gone to his head. We were "informed" that he'd be our new frogman for the Cooper Vault job… not that any of us had even asked him. For the first time in memory, Carmelita didn't show up and cart everyone to jail. Aw, well. I'll send her a postcard. You know, I'd hate for her to feel left out.
Hono(u)r Among Thieves
[edit]- Sly: [narrating] All these memories, they just bring you back to the same place - getting crushed to death in the fist of some genetics experiment gone wrong. Not the way I thought I'd go out. Shame, really. Now that we've got this big gang... gang, more like a pack of misfits. Either way, we'd become a team. We had some real potential there. Could've pulled off some big jobs. We were so close. The door to the Cooper Vault was opening, but that Dr. M… If there's any justice, he'll get his. I just wish I had seen what was in there. A stockpile of my family's accomplishments. Would I have measured up? What would I contribute? Would my father have been proud of me or ashamed? Funny, but here I am at the end and suddenly all I can think about is what a coward I've been towards Carmelita. Never took the next step. Looking at Bentley and Penelope, it's clear what life is about. If Carmelita was here, I'd tell her straight out how I feel and quit playing around. Put our professional differences aside and see if we could make it work. But that'll never happen now. Can't take this crushing! Just let the pain stop.
- Dr. M: You harpy witch! Why are the police invading my home?
- Carmelita: I'm here to see that justice is done.
- Dr. M: Justice? I'm the victim here, defending what's mine from thieves!
- Carmelita: Looked to me like you were attempting to murder that man.
- Dr. M: "That man". Please, you know this is Sly Cooper. You're as transparent as you are narrow-minded.
- Carmelita: Cooper is a criminal. I'm here to bring him and all lawbreakers to justice.
- Dr. M: I'm no lawbreaker, it was all self-defense!
- Carmelita: First things first, put Cooper down and we'll talk terms.
- Dr. M: Sorry, madam cop, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. Although, I can throw you a long long way. [turns to his mutant] Go and smash that woman. Crush her bones to paste and toss her into the sea where no one will ever find her. [Carmelita and the mutant sail away on the police boat.] Now to find that cane. I can't believe this idiot just brought it to me. Poor fool, he looks just like his father... and he's just as dead.
- Bentley: [discover Sly unconscious] Sly!? [to the team] He's over here! He's still breathing…? He's alive! [to Sly] Hang in there, pal. You're going to be okay. We'll get you back to the ship and patch you up.
- Bentley: Sly's gonna make it, although he's suffered a major concussion. If he were up and about, I'm sure he'd want us to retrieve his family cane.
- Dimitri: Go grab the thing! Jump in, do the swim and take it. Legit, eh, my main man bro?
- Penelope: Won't be that simple. That's an electromagnetic buoy. Dr. M has set them up all around the island to snag approaching metal boats. We just lucked out that we came here in a wooden ship.
- Bentley: [to Dimitri] She's right. Get too close, and your diving gear will magnetize to it.
- Penelope: Bentley's tending to Sly. He wanted me to prep you for the mission.
- Dimitri: Oui. The turtle dude made sounds for le scuba, so here you go, baby - Dimitri au naturel. Your plan, she's worked to perfection.
- Penelope: My plan to get you alone in a swimsuit?
- Dimitri: Come clean, my lovely, and play your cards straight. These are dangerous waters, and I'm a big, strong, macho, macho man!
- Penelope: Okay. 1st, get over yourself. 2nd, I mean it, get over yourself. And 3rd, jump into that water and find Sly's cane. It's the key to the Cooper Vault. We can't lose it.
- Dimitri: Salty language from such sweet lips. [singing] I'll dive, baby.
I dive for the love.
- Dimitri: [jumps back onto the ship] That rude dude threw down heavyweight. I had him solid, but he ran, baby! Ran, and now I'm flat nowhere!
- Penelope: You were... magnificent! Alone against the creature, trapped in an undersea cave.
- Dimitri: How about a kiss for my Monsieur Magnificento? My lips are warm like bread from the oven.
- Penelope: Slow down. Remember rules 1 and 2? Both of which told you to get over yourself.
- Dimitri: Both before my magnificence! Yum yum, give me some!
- Penelope: I'm gonna check on Bentley. You have fun being you.
- Dimitri: I'm "mag" to the "jag" to the "efficient", baby! [goes below deck]
- [Sly comes out.]
- Penelope: Sly, you're up!
- Bentley: He should be back in bed after the thrashing he took. Another blow to the head and your brain could snap!
- Sly: Quit your worrying, I feel fine. Did Dimitri find my cane?
- Penelope: No. (Well, sort of… but...) Dr. M managed to get away with it.
- Sly: Then we gotta go.
- Bentley: You're going nowhere, pal. Any attempt on Dr. M or the Cooper Vault will be impossible with these radar towers linked to the missile turrets. Wait a second. Penelope, have you completed that work we talked about on your RC car?
- Penelope: Yeah... Oh, I see where your going. That'll work! Smash the drones, siphon their power and fry the towers' matrix.
- Bentley: Perfect. Let's get your car onto a drone patrol pipe!
- Sly: Not to be too obvious in exposing my ignorance, but... what in the world are you two talking about?
- Penelope: Explaining it would include a lot of multisyllabic words, I could just show you.
- Sly Cooper: Bring on the demo.
- Penelope: Panda King, can you launch my RC car to that pipe?
- Panda King: Ha! With the fireworks, it will fly as the bird! [launches the RC car] Fly, bird! Fly!
- Bentley: Alright, my sweet princess of electronic dominance. Time to smash things up. Use the L2 button and the R2 button to activate your vehicle's punchers. Knock the security drones off the track with your punchers and pick up their ball energy. Get enough, and I'll open up the jump gate to the radar tower.
- Dr. M: Ha-ha! You and your foolish friends keep trying to beat me with your guns! They're like toys to my creatures. If this Whale-Fly had vocal cords he'd laugh in your silly little faces! [laughs]
- Sly: This isn't working, Bentley. He's literally laughing at us.
- Bentley: Just give me time. I... I'll think of something!
- Sly: I'm settling this now. Face to face.
- Bentley: Paragliding over to that creature!? You're out of your mind!
- [Sly confronts Dr. M]
- Dr. M: Headstrong, just like your father.
- Sly: You don't know anything about me or my father.
- Dr. M: Really? Who let you in on the secret of this place, eh? Was it my old pal McSweeney, perhaps?
- Sly: McSweeney works for you? This was all a setup to get the cane!
- Dr. M: No, my boy. Once upon a time, he and I worked together... for your dear old dad.
- Sly: My father wouldn't have run with a guy who'd try to steal from the Cooper Vault, let alone attempt to kill his son.
- Dr. M: Time does strange things to people. Just look at the real leader of your gang - Bentley!
- Sly: Whatever! We're friends, equals!
- Dr. M: Then why is it called the Cooper Gang, you self-centered egomaniac?!
- Sly: That's enough! [retrieves the cane and Dr. M laughs as he retreats] Time to meet the past. [paraglides down to the door of the vault and opens it] Bentley, you there?
- Bentley: Yeah, pal.
- Sly: I'm about to head inside the vault… and I want you and Murray to come with me. We're a team, a family. We should do this together.
- Bentley: Okay, be right up… partner.
- Murray: Nice! We'll have the Panda King give the van a boost! Stand clear, Sly! We're about to get awesome!
- Panda King: [lights the fireworks; gleefully] The fuse is lit!
- Murray: Buckle up, Bentley... We're about to fly! [the van shoots up into the air] YAHOO!
- [the van lands at the entrance to the Cooper Vault]
- Bentley: We're never doing that again.
- Bentley: This place is amazing!
- Murray: Yeah, it's got to be like at least (over) 100 years old!
- Bentley: An archeological marvel!
- Sly: Glad you boys are impressed 'cause it looks like I'll have to go on from here alone.
- Sly: [reaches his dad's section of the vault] This must be my father's work. [activates a device that beams lasers across the gap to the other side] How am I supposed to get through this thing? He made this challenge for a move I've never learned. There's nothing like this in the Thievius Raccoonus. Come on, dad. Help me out here. [rail slides on the lasers] Nice work, dad. [reaches a door at the end of the laser path] This must be the inner sanctum! Wish Bentley and Murray were here for this.
- Murray: This is going to be the payday of all time! Think of all the loot piled up back there.
- Bentley: Do you ever feel like you're playing second fiddle to Sly, like he treats us as sidekicks?
- Murray: No way, Sly's cool. We're all in this together.
- Bentley: Sure, we're all here, but are we equal? Who went into the vault? Sly… by himself. [doesn't noticed a guard behind him]
- Murray: [sees the guard] Watch out! [punches it]
- Bentley: Dr. M's goons!? They must have forced the door after we opened the lock.
- Murray: Think of it this way, Bentley. If it were you in that vault and Sly and I were out here, what would he do?
- Bentley: Stop these thugs and protect his friend.
- Murray: Right, and that's what I'm going to do. Keep your head down, stay clear. I'm gonna smash a lot of skulls, and I don't want yours to be one of them. [to the guards] Come and get it, maggots! I've got a knuckle sandwich for all of ya, and it's chow time. Chow frickin' down!
- Murray: [defeats all of the guards] Yeah! You're all knocked down, and the Murray stands tall! Like a freakin' totem pole of strongism!
- Dr. M: Ah, Murray, you're much stronger than McSweeney ever was.
- Murray: That's right, plug-head! I'm like a semi truck with its brakes cut!
- Dr. M: I don't have time to get into a screaming match with a caveman like yourself.
- Bentley: Then lock horns with me. Think you'll find I'm a better match.
- Dr. M: I have no fight with you Bentley. You and I are the same.
- Bentley: I gather you were the technical specialist working with Sly's father?
- Murray: You knew Sly's dad?
- Dr. M: Quiet, caveman. The adults are talking. That's right, Bentley. I know the pain you suffer working under your inferior.
- Bentley: It's no secret, I'm smarter than the other guys. But there's more to it than that.
- Dr. M: [chuckles] Like what?
- Bentley: Like brotherhood.
- Dr. M: Brotherhood? [chuckles] That's just what he wants you to think. It's a tool to keep you in line.
- Bentley: No, that's the thing that keeps us happy and alive. It's why I'm going to stop you.
- Murray: And me too.
- Dr. M: Fine, "Cooper Gang." I tried.
- Murray: Caveman attack! [charges at Dr. M and locks him in a grapple] This guy's stronger than he looks. Need some help!
- Penelope: Bentley, those statues look like ancient security devices. Maybe if you took the treasure off the top of them and put it on Dr. M's back, they might activate.
- Dr. M: [groans] Well played, Bentley, but it was a meaningless gesture. According to the tracking device I planted on Sly's cane, he's just entered the inner sanctum. I can use the collected positional data to get through the gauntlet with ease!
- Bentley: That hall's for Coopers only!
- Dr. M: Maybe it's time for men such as you and I to change all that! [enters the vault, following Sly]
- Murray: He's getting away! What do we do?
- Bentley: I... I'll think of something, just give me time.
- Murray: You know something, Bentley?
- Bentley: What?
- Murray: You think awesome!
- Bentley: Thanks, pal.
- Sly: This is just overwhelming! Amazing! How'd Thaddeus make a flying machine in the 1800s? Bet this thing still works.
- Dr. M: Oh, I'm sure it's operational.
- Sly: Dr. M, glad you could see all this. I know you've been looking forward to it.
- Dr. M: Looking forward to all of this… and your death!
- Sly: Come on, aren't we supposed to banter a little?
- Dr. M: I only talk with my equals, and Bentley said no.
- Dr. M: You've got some moxy, Sly. I'll give you that.
- Sly: I don't know what went down between you and my father, but I'm telling you it's not the same with me and Bentley.
- Dr. M: You might be right. He risked his life to defend you.
- Sly: I'd do the same for him.
- Dr. M: Funny. Your father was never such a good friend.
- Sly: We're all individuals. I might be a part of all this - a member of the Cooper line, but in the end, I'm just me. Not Henriette, Thaddeus, Slytunkhamen, Rioichi or my father. Just Sly.
- Dr. M: Please! Keep your touchy-feely rhetoric to yourself! I can't stomach it! You Coopers are a bunch of dirty, attention-grubbing thieves! All of you, thieves!
- Carmelita: [enters the inner sanctum] Hold it right there. Both of you thieves are going to jail!
- Sly: Nice to see you, gorgeous.
- Carmelita: You too.
- Dr. M: Ah, a love interest. I might be beaten, but I'll make you suffer!
- Sly: Not her! [saves Carmelita by blocking Dr. M's shot]
- Carmelita: No one hurts my criminal!
- [Carmelita subdues Dr. M and rushes over to Sly.]
- Sly: [grunts] What happened?
- Carmelita: Sly?
- Sly: Where are we? What is this place?
- Carmelita: Sly? Can you remember anything?
- Sly: No. Who're you? You look familiar.
- Carmelita: I'm Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox.
- Sly: And... who am I?
- Carmelita: You... You're my partner, Constable Cooper.
- Sly: Well, partner, we'd better get out of here. The ceiling's gonna go. We haven't much time.
- Carmelita: Let's go.
- Bentley: [enters the inner sanctum] Sly, you in here?! Sly!?
- Bentley: [narrating] We watched as Dr. M just stood there, unwilling to leave as the walls caved in on the vault. He'd spent his life lusting over the Cooper fortune, and he wasn't going to give it up, no matter what the cost. Our exit was a little rough, but Murray managed to get us out just in time to witness the final fate of the Cooper legacy. It was a bittersweet moment; the end of the road always is. We both looked on, lost in our thoughts, thinking back on all of the adventures that had brought us here. The people we'd met and places we'd seen. We'd worked for a long time to get Sly into that vault, and now its secrets were hidden again, this time for good. I can only hope that he'd found what he was looking for in there. We searched every inch of the island for Sly, retrieving the gang one by one, only to make the surprising discovery that he didn't want to be found. As always, he'd left a calling card. Only this time, it was worth millions. The months rolled by and when Sly still hadn't shown up, Murray headed back east to complete his training with the Guru. Without Sly as our leader, for the first time, we each had to step out on our own. A difficult thing - we'd been together ever since we'd met at the orphanage. To this day, Murray and I are still close. Recently, he's been trying to break into the pro racing circuit, stock van class. Things are looking good. He's got a unique talent for living through crashes other people would have found fatal. Just always bounces clear. And of course, there's Penelope, my new partner in crime. Let me tell ya, I'm in love! She and I have set out on a journey that I never would have dreamed up while running with Sly and Murray, although I hope our paths will cross again soon. So, while this might be the end of our adventures together, it could be the start of something even bigger. Time will tell, literally, 'cause I'm building a time machine to find out!
Ending
[edit]- Bentley [narrating]: [photo of Dimitri] Dimitri went on to become a celebrity skin diver. The ladies flocked to him, and so did the money. I got a postcard from him once. It said "I'm here, wish you were fine. Like me." He's his own man. [Panda King in his rocking chair] The Panda King returned to China and lived a happy life living 2 doors down from his beloved daughter. She, of course, was pleased to have him screen all of her future suitors. As of yet, she's still unmarried. [photo of Guru] The Guru returned to the outback and took on some new Dreamtime students, one of which was a high-profile rockstar that brought a lot of unwanted media attention. Last I heard, he was hiding out in New York City. Figured it was the last place they'd ever look. [looking through his binocucom, only to find Sly and Carmelita on a balcony, holding hands; Sly turns to Bentley and winks at him] That sneaky devil!
Cast
[edit]- Kevin Miller as Sly Cooper
- Matt Olsen as Bentley
- Chris Murphy as Murray
- Ruth Livier as Carmelita Fox
- David Scully as Dimitri Lousteau, Octavio and LeFwee
- Rick May as Dr. M
- Kevin Blackton as Panda King and Muggshot
- Annette Toughtenti as Penelope
- Terry Rose as Guru