Static Shock is an animated series that originally broadcasted for four seasons, in-between 2000-2004. It's plot centred around an African american teenager called Virgil Hawkins, who, after being exposed to an illegal mutagenic gas explosion, gained control of Metahuman electromagnetic super powers, and then used them to fulfil his childhood dream of becoming a superhero. Virgil, now calling himself "Static," has since fought against supervillians and other "Bang-Babies" who have threatened his friends, family and his home city of Dakota.
Note: these episodes are listed in production order, not by airdate.
- 1 Season One
- 2 Season Two
- 3 Season Three
- 4 Season Four
Shock To The System
(opening of the episode; a trio of theives are looting an electronics warehouse.)
- Duke (Blue Coat): Speed it up. We don't have all night.
- 2nd Thief (Grey Coat): Why you sweating me, Duke? The guards are on ice, the alarm's shut off, everything's covered.
(As the 2nd Thief carries a TV set to the warehouse's entrance, the warehouse lights power up as he walks under them. Unseen to him, electricity surges into the TV's plug as he sets foot outside the entrance, and the TV set turns on.)
- 2nd Thief: Huh?!
(As the 2nd Thief is momentarily distracted, a larger electrical surge hits him and the TV set, sending him flying backwards into the stacks of boxes inside the warehouse. The 1st Thief, Duke, and the Red Coat-wearing 3rd Thief both see this happen.)
- Duke: What the heck is up with that?!
(Another surge of electricity hits both TV sets held by Duke and the 3rd Thief and starts to build-up within them, drawing their attention before both sets blow up too. When this has happened, the source of the electrical surges is revealed as a teenager who comes flying into the warehouse on a flying manhole cover.)
- Static: You mean, 'What's up with that'. Either use slang properly or don't use it at all.
(Static flies over them, re-directs his momentum by gripping a I-section, and starts flying back at the thieves.)
- 3rd Thief (Red Coat): It's a kid on a flying manhole cover!
- Duke: I don't care if it's Aladdin on his magic carpet. Get him!
(Thieves go at Static with a metal crowbar and a metal bat. Static uses his electromagnetic powers to pull their metal weapons away from them before he shocks both of them and disarms them of the rest of their weapons. Static gathers together all of their weapons infront of him.)
- Static: Metal weapons and dumb thugs--how easy does it get?
(Static sends all the weapons high above them and destroys them. Burning sparks fall down and send Duke and the 3rd Thief running to escape. Static pursues.)
- Static: Like turning on lights in a roach motel.
(Static intercepts the Red Coat-wearing 3rd Thief running to the sidedoor with an electrified punch.)
- Static: Thats my 'Taser-Punch.' Shocking, isn't it?
(Static is suddenly buried under a large pile of boxes. The Grey Coat-wearing 2nd Thief has recovered from his earlier collision and has commandeered a warehouse loader, driving it into the boxes.)
- 2nd Thief: I got him, Duke. I got... Huh?!
(Another surge of electromagnetic energy has built up from beneath the boxes as Static frees himself, flying up.)
- Static: Okay, you caught me off-guard--I'm new at this; so sue me!
(Static generates another surge of electromagnetic energy to capture all three theives and starts to lift them up.)
- Static: Not that I have a curfew or anything, but I really gotta wrap this up.
(Static adheres all three thieves to the ceiling.)
- Static: Stick around fellas, you got company.
(Static flies underneath a roof entrance and creates a sign in the sky above the warehouse: the words BAD GUYS THIS EXIT!, surrounded by an arrow pointing down at the warehouse as police cars arrive outside.)
- Static: (narrating) Piece of cake with frosting and sprinkles. My first bad guy beat down, and I hardly broke a sweat.
(Sharon has made breakfast, her rendition of scrambled eggs, however, does not sit well with Virgil, as her attempt is nothing but an under-cooked, runny slop.)
- Virgil: (sitting at the table) What's this, an egg smoothie?
- Sharon: (not amused) You know that's just the way Momma made them.
- Virgil: (studying his 'breakfast' with his fork) Funny, I don't remember needing a straw to eat her's.
- Robert: (closes his briefcase and stands up, ready to go to work) Come on Virgil, your sister went to all this trouble. Least you can do is give 'em a try. (pats Virgil on the head and leaves)
(Sharon huffs and turns away. Virgil, desperate not to be food poisoned, looks 'up' for divine intervention.)
- Virgil: (voice a tone lower) Momma, if you're listening, I could use some help here...
(The phone rings unexpectedly.)
- Sharon: (answering the phone) Hello... (listens to the person on the other end of the line,) Hey, Teddy... (pause) Yeah, I really liked that lecture last night... (pause) Tonight? You mean a real date?... (pause, meanwhile, Virgil stands next to her making kissie-noises while she's on the phone) Let me check my schedule... (pause while Sharon leaves the kitchen to gain privacy from Virgil) Of course I have a schedule... (pause, before she answers Teddy flirtatiously) No, I don't have a little black book. It's paisley...
(With Sharon out of the way, Virgil, with a smile on his face, is free to dispose of the 'egg smoothie,' pouring it into the bin, without Sharon as an eyewitness.)
- Virgil: Good lookin' out, Moms.
(Virgil exits the kitchen, rubbing his stomach in mock-satisfaction as he passes Sharon, still on the phone.)
- Virgil: Mmm, mmm, mmm. Fluffy egg goodness...
(Sharon, knowing that Virgil is poking fun at her cooking, pouts in fustration.)
- Virgil: F-Stop, you need to brush up on Body Language 101. Hers says, 'Not-in-this-lifetime.'
- Richie: Tangling with F-Stop? Are you crazy? The dude makes Norman Bates look like Mister Rogers.
- Virgil: No more asking my dad to borrow his car, dude.
- Richie: You don't even drive yet, V.
- Virgil: Oh, whatever.
- Static: The name's "Static". I put a shock to your system.
- Virgil: Mutant? Now that's degrading.
- Richie: You have a better word for it?
- Virgil: I kind of like... meta-human.
- Virgil: What if I turn into some kind of blob?
- Richie: You're not gonna turn into a blob. Now, primordial ooze, that's another story.
- Virgil: Ok, Mr. Def Comedy Jam.
- Doctor: Your looking pretty health Virgil
- Virgil: Well, I've been going through these ... changes.
- Doctor: Well, that's normal for someone your age.
- Virgil: Trust me, Doc, this is not normal.
- Doctor: Do these changes involve another person?
- Virgil: A lot of them.
- Doctor: Does your father know what you've been doing?
- Virgil: What?! Whoa, Doc, we're talking about two totally different things here.
- York: You're that freak from TV!
- Static: You say freak, I say unique!
- Static: The name's "Static". I put a shock to your system.
- York: Yeah, well so do I. (Starts to shoot at Static with a hand-held laser.)
- Static: Lucky that water main was there.
- Richie: Uh, Virg...? That wasn't a water main. It was a sewer line.
- Static: (sniffs the air) I think Static's work here is done.
- Virgil: What's Derek Barnett got that I don't have?
- Richie: Let's make a list. Looks, height, all-state in track and field - shall I quit while you're behind?
- Virgil: I thought we were tight, Rich.
- Richie: We are bro, just keeping it real.
- Derek: Hey, Virgil, do you think you could tutor me?
- Virgil: Me?
- Richie: Him?
- Virgil: Do you know what hanging with Derek "D.B." Barnett's going to do to my rep?
- Richie: Uh, start it?
- Robert: Proud of you for helping Derek, Virgil.
- Virgil: Pops, when you get touched with genius, you gotta share the gift... Besides thanks to him, I'm finally meeting cheerleaders.
- Random woman in the store: Yeah, it's great! It's called the 'butter diet!'
- Static: Am I seeing things, or did I just get jacked by a girl with feathers?! (sniffs his sleeve) Aww, man, my gear smells like Chinese takeout.
- Shiv: (off screen) Hey, Electric-Boy.
(Static sees Shiv's attack coming at him and dodges in time, jumps and lands safely)
- Shiv: Nice one Super-Shocker, or whatever your name is.
- Frieda: What are you doing here?
- Virgil: I... asked you first.
- Frieda: It's running away!
- Static: No. Just looking for more food, and the whole city's on the menu.
- Frieda: What are you gonna do?
- Static: Spoil its appetite!
They're Playing My Song
(Virgil and Richie are walking down an empty street through an area of a city block with abandoned and condemned buildings.)
- Virgil: Where're you taking me, Richie?
- Richie: Patience, we're almost there. It'll be easier when we're old enough to drive
- Virgil: Hey, we could have gotten on my disk and flown.
- Richie: Well, no disrespect, but I've seen you fall off that thing.
- Virgil: One time, and they were shooting at me!
- Richie: We're here.
(Richie and Virgil have stopped walking to see where Richie had brought Virgil to see, an abandoned gas station and garage.)
- Virgil: (completely unimpressed) We're where?
- Richie: Your secret headquarters--every hero has to have a secret headquarters. (runs across the street to the empty gas station) Come-on.
(It's dark inside the old gas station as Richie and Virgil both enter.)
- Richie: Hit the lights and peep your eyes.
(Virgil uses his powers to supply energy to the lights hanging off of the ceiling, lighting up the room they are in.)
- Virgil: (looks around) You gotta be kidding me. (moves around to look through boarded windows) You'd have to renovate before this place could even qualify as a dump.
- Richie: Oh, come-on, Virg', use your imagination; right now this place might be a broken down, rat-infested...
- Virgil: (interupts) Rat-infested?!
- Richie: We'll get some traps. The point is, with a little work, this could be the nerve-centre of our entire superhero operation
- Virgil: And what would we call it, the Abandoned Gas Station of Solitude.
- Richie: (sarcasticly to himself) Ahh, that's funny. (to Virgil) Hey, I'd have built us a treehouse if I had a tree.
- Virgil: I wish I could just go out and rent a decent headquarters, but that takes money.
- Richie: Nobody ever said the superhero gig would be a profit center.
- Virgil: (in agreement) Yeah, but it's costing me; I keep tearing my costume, melting my shoes.
(Static is trying to stop Rubber-Band Man from assulting a Rapper after having just caught the car out of mid-air and landed it safely on the ground.)
- Static: Howabout we go all-radical, sit down and talk about it.
- Rubber-Band Man: (holds his fist up) I don't think so, Sparky! (punches Static)
- Static: (recovers) Be that way! (hits Rubber-Band Man with a 'Taser-Punch')
(Static's 'Taser-Punch' sends Rubber-Band Man's head up as his neck stretches before he recovers too.)
- Rubber-Band Man: Nice shot, but rubber's an insulator, so your electrical powers can't really hurt me...
(Rubber-Band Man's words trail off as the limo of the Rap Artist that he had just hounded down starts up and drives off to get away.)
- Oh, no you don't.
(Rubber-Band Man stretches his hand and arm after the limo before it can get too far. As Rubber-Band Man strains to hold on to the limo, Static builds up a charge to use against the Rubber-Band Man before he can hurt someone.)
- Static: Let me tell you something about electricity; a big enougth charge can overload any insulator.
(After the fight the night before, Virgil is still feeling the after-effects, and takes a shower to freshen up.)
- Virgil: Oh, My head... Note to self: Avoid playing catch with flying automobiles.
- Sharon: (bangging her hand on the locked bathroom door) Virgil Ovid Hawkins, get your ashky butt out here right this minute...
- Virgil: (unlocks the door and sticks his head out) Sharon! My middle name is never to be spoken aloud, you know that! (sticks his bed back into the bathroom and slams the door closed)
(Adam Evans, a talented music writer in his late teens is fuming that the music tracks he had submitted to record company have been used in a top-of-the-charts #1 hit, but he has not received any money, credit or acknowledgement for his music. After making a scene in a Burger Fool, Adam decides to go after the Rapper again directly.
- Adam Evens: (fuming) Nobody steals from me and gets away with it, Ice Pack's gonna give me my due, (morphs into Rubber-Band Man,) or he's in for a real bad stretch...
- Static: Kawarimi; ancient Ninja art of misdirection. All you need is something some idiot can mistake you for... and some idiot!
The New Kid
Sons of the Fathers
(Scene opens in the food court of a shopping mall, a father and son are sitting at a table. The father is reading his newspaper, while his son in slurping on a smoothie when he notices something...)
- Kid: (talks quickly, like he's on a sugar rush) ...Dad, your not gonna belive it, but a big, black, icky gunk-thing coming out the floor, and it's getting bigger and bigger like a big balloon...
- Kid's Father: You drinking too much sugar again...
(The father's attention is drawn away from the conversation hen he notices something behind him. The previously mentioned 'big, black, icky guck-thing' is reveiled to be Ebon, as he and the Meta-Breed proceed to start robbing the mall.)
- Sharon: Don't you ever go home?
- Richie: I smell an insinuation.
- Richie: All I'm saying is that 'Shock to the System' is gonna get played out unless we keep adding to our catchphrase list. How about H.V.H. - High Voltage Hero.
- Richie: I'll have you over. soon.
- Virgil: How soon?
- Richie: Err... this Friday night
- Virgil: Sure?
- Richie: (nervous) Yeah, yeah, (to himself) that'll work.
- Virgil: Friday it is then. Better tell your mom's to stock up on some essentials; sodas, chips, cookies, you know, the basic food groups.
- Robert: You sure you're ok?
- Virgil: Yeah, pops. I'm cool. I'd be even cooler with a new stereo, though.
- Robert: Then, I wouldn't be cool. Stick with your old stereo.
- Virgil: Hey, I had to give it a shot.
(Static flies off. As Richie watches him, Ebon appears behind Richie)
- Ebon: So, Static's your main man, huh?
- Richie: Huh!?
(Mr. Hawkins and Mr. Foley have broken down the door of an abandoned appartment building as they track down Richie, who had ran away from home the night before. As they are walking through the entryway, they start talking.)
- Mr. Foley: I don't believe this, you put a roof over their head, you feed them three squares a day and this is the 'thanks' you...
- Mr. Hawkins: Richie wasn't the only boy who ran away from you last night.
- Mr. Foley: What you son heard, Hawkins, I wasn't talking about him.
- Mr. Hawkins: No, you were just talking about his 'Kind', thats all--well I know your 'kind', Foley, I've seen your kind all my life; a fine upstanding bigot, his nose so close to the grind stone he can't see anything else. Meanwhile, the world changes and grows, and he's blind to it, ignorent, and proud of that too; and you know the worst part?
- Mr. Foley: I'm sure you'll tell me.
- Mr. Hawkins: You've got a terrific son, one of the best and brightest around, and because of the way you are, you'll never really know him. Richie ran away from you along time ago, Foley, and who could blame him.
Winds of Change
- Daisy: Richie, what happened to your arm?
- Richie: Swimming .. accident.
- Virgil: I told you, man. When you dive into the pool, make sure there's water in there.
- Richie: What was I thinking?
Bent Out of Shape
- Rubber-Band Man: ...And next I will tell everyone who you are like you did to me.
- Sharon: What'd I do to deserve all this, Daddy?
- Virgil: What'd you do? You were dating the star of America's Most Wanted.
- Puff: (About Onyx) The pretty ones are never very bright.
- Sharon: You couldn't change into a vacuum with wheels!?
- Rubber-Band Man: Wheels are hard.
- Robert: Captain Fitz came through. They're gonna put Rubberband Man in a safer prison. If his behavior's good, he'll be out and making music in a matter of months.
- Sharon: Isn't this exciting?!
- Virgil: Oh, yeah. I'm bouncing off the walls.
(After saving the sailors.)
- Static: Thank you, thank you. And when you tell your friends about this... skip out the part where I tried to pick up the boat.
- Static: I don't believe we've been introduced.
- Junior: Omnifarious.
- Static: You're Nefarious?
- Junior: Omnifarious. It's my name. It means many forms.
- Static: Bro, I go to public school. Latin's an elective.
- Replay: I'm gonna make so many of me, you won't have a prayer.
- Static: Ooh a room full of has been's, now I am scared!
- Richie: I'm just glad they didn't shut down the lava land ride. Whoa-ho! Look, yes! Some of the lava spewed on my shirt.
- Daisy: That's nacho cheese, Richie.
- Richie: (sniffs his shirt) Ew. Different eruption.
- Daisy: (to Virgil) He's your friend.
- Virgil: Don't remind me.
- Virgil: He even had purple skin and orange hair!
- Richie: Ugh, Bang-Babies. They just have no fashion sense.
- Ms. Petebone: Class, I'm handing back your essay tests. Undoubtedly, some of you will be happier with your grades than others.
- Virgil: (seeing his high test score) Oh yes, I'm happy. What about you, Rich?
- Richie: I'm... one of the others.
- Robert: Virgil?
- Virgil: Please, don't make me do it, Pops. I don't wanna make the speech.
- Robert: I would never force you to do that, son.
- Virgil: Then, about what I said to Sharon.
- Robert: Forget it. We all lose our cool now and again. In fact, I may owe you an apology.
- Virgil: For what?
- Robert: I thought you come to terms with your mom's death all this time. I was wrong about that, huh?
- Virgil: Pops, I...
- Robert: You wanna talk about it?
- Virgil: Maybe later, okay?
- Robert: I understand. It took me a long time before I could even say her name without feeling pain. Whenever you're ready, son. It would be nice if you did speak at the memorial, Virgil. If for no one else, for your mom. Just think about it.
- 'The Monster': No, not Thomas. Thomas weak.
- Static: You ok, sir?
- Driver: You almost threw me into orbit! I was scared to death.
- Static: I'm sorry, but something's happened to my powers. They're way stronger than they used to be.
- Driver: That so? Well, can you drop me off at 44th and 3rd?
- Static: Didn't you just say you were scared to death?
- Driver: Yeah. But the traffic in this town is even scarier.
- Daisy: (on the phone) Virgil? I can't hear you. I think I'm having a problem with static.
- Virgil: So am I.
- Richie: (about Hotstreak) I'd get a refund on those anger management classes if I were him.
- Richie: Any way I can talk you out of this?
- Static: Can't think of one. Maybe it'll come to me later.
- Richie: Didn't you say something about having your own life again, about getting used to it?
- Static: I guess that's just not enough for me.
- Richie: I was right. He loves being a hero.
- Virgil: This looks like a job for...
- Richie: Don't finish that sentence, V. Superman already owns the rights.
- Richie: You told her we were doing homework? On a Friday night?
- Static: Think she won't believe me?
- Richie: No, she will, which doesn't say much for our social lives.
- Richie: (After hearing Boom steals the Prize money over the radio) He's Stealing My Prize Money
- Static: Hey dude it's like they say: People who live in glass houses should keep the volume down.
- Daisy: Now, any idea what to get your sister?
- Virgil: Let's check out the pet store. Maybe they have a sale on muzzles.
- Permafrost: The voices in the dark, they call me something... Permafrost.
- Richie: You know, lifting could go a lot faster with a little magnetic boost.
- Virgil: Rich, we're in a gymnasium full of people. Somebody might notice!
- Richie: No sweat. I'll create a distraction when my arms fall off!
- Static: Look, can we just talk for a sec'?
- Permafrost: No! Give it (the picture) back! It's mine!
- Static: Give what back?(Permafrost attacks)
- Static: Wait?! Is this about that photo? HEY, you can have it back!
- Static: Come on, Maureen. Chill out!
- Permafrost: You..,You know my name?
- Static: I found out from some people!.. People who care about you.
- Permafrost: Nobody cares about me!! (Permafrost attacks savagely)
- Static: Whoah! Come on slow down! I care.. .., and I wanna help you ,I know what you've gone through....
- Permafrost How could you know......?
- Static: ..Because... I lost my mom too. (Permafrost stops attacking, Static returns Permafrost's picture of her and her mother,) I know how hard it is, how the pain never really goes away...
(Virgil and Richie are inside the 'Abandoned Gas Station of Solitude'; Virgil is setting up for a demonstration of his newest application for his powers, positioning a length of wire in and out of between his fingers like a cat's cradle, channeling a charge of electricity through them.)
- Virgil: Hey Richie, how many superheroes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
(Richie, working at a workbench, turns his head to look at Virgil.)
- Richie: Huh?
- Virgil: None. If I'm the superhero, then you don't need a lightbulb.
(Virgil then proceeds to demonstrate his latest trick--sending a larger charge of electricity through the wire and creating a blinding light display before stopping.)
- Virgil: I call it my Novaburst, all it takes is a little wire.
(Richie is putting the finishing touches on his newest gadget, a small tracer, shaped like Static's lightning bolt insignia.)
- Richie: My latest invention. It transmits on a highband radio frequency, so you should be able to hear it with you powers. Is it working?
(Virgil puts his hand to his ear and uses his powers to listen to radio frequencies, small sparks of electricity as Virgil hears the beeb-beeb-beebing of the new tracer unit.)
- Virgil: Loud and clear.
- Richie: It's got about a two-mile radius, so you could trace it...
(Still using his powers, Virgil suddenly picks up another frequency.)
- Virgil: ...Wait a minute, I'm picking up something else. I think it's the police band.
- Richie: What is it?
- Virgil: Something about a ...flood?
- Static: Fun's over 'Wet-and-Wild,' give up or I'll hang you out to dry.
- Aquamaria: Yeah, I'm sure.
(At their latest hideout, an old 'Ratty Boyz' pizza place and arcade.)
- Ebon: Your late, where's Aquamaria.
- Shiv: (covering for himself) Hahahaha, that's a funny story, Ebon, (pushes Talon forward,) why don't you tell him.
- Talon: (nervous) ...She was doing alright, then Static showed up...
- Carmen-Dillo: (walking in with coffee cups) Hey, here you go boss, double Latte, right, I got cappuccinos for everyone else but...
(Ebon knock the coffee out of Carmen-Dillo's hands, stands up out of his 'throne and starts pacing.)
- Carmen-Dillo: ...On the other hand, who needs all that caffine, right...?
- Ebon: I can't believe he got her. I thought her water powers would stop him for sure.
- Shiv: Uh uh, Boss, Static didn't stop Aquamaria, Rubber-Band Man did...
- Ebon: What!?
- Shiv: (realising his slip) Yeah, we were as surprised as you are...
- Ebon: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
(Ebon throws a furious fit using his powers, knocking things down before leaving.)
- Carmen-Dillo: 'Gheez Luweez', is he always like this.
- Talon: He has his reasons.
- Adam: (talking to himself) ...Sharon, I gotta call her back...
- Ebon: Call her later.
(Ebon is revealed to have been waiting for Adam, disguised as a shadow on the ceiling.)
- Adam: What do you want?
- Ebon: What do you think?
(Adam stands up and walks away from Ebon, but Ebon moves to Adam still as a shadow on the wall.)
- Ebon: I want you to roll with my crew, just like the old days, before the Big-Bang.
- Adam: Not gonna happen, we've been through this Ivan.
- Ebon: We've been through that too, you call me 'Ebon' now.
- Adam: Whatever.
(Adam turns and walks away from Ebon again, but Ebon slides across the floor and moves in front of Adam, blocking his path.)
- Ebon: It was bad enough that you had to ran out to be a rock star, but now you out there, playing 'superhero' and turning on your own.
- Adam: It's not your buisness.
- Ebon: Is my buisness. You belong with me, people like us deserve to have whatever we want--if we just stick together, we can have it all.
(Adam thinks about it, tempted for a second, before shaking the notion his head determinded not to agree with Ebon's 'philosophy' and starts changing into his Rubber-Band Man costume.)
- Adam: Oh yeah, and every time I try things your way, I end up in trouble.
- Ebon: (starts to leave) Then just stay out of my way, you owe me that much. (leaves)
(Carmen-Dillo, Shiv and Talon have started to break in and rob Dakota Electronics Store. Having broken down the enterence started causing havoc, Carmen-Dillo stops to look around.)
- Carmen-Dillo: Ahh, I hate robbing joints like this, no food court.
(Having been knock into the stockroom by Shiv, Rubber-Band Man is lying on a pile of empty boxes. A shadow on the wall moves infront of him, forming a giant hand.)
- Ebon: Need a hand?
(Ebon shifts back to humanoid form, larger than Rubber-Band Man, while Rubber-Band Man stretches his arm over to a shelf to pull himself back up.)
- Rubber-Band Man: No thanks, I always bounce back.
- Ebon: I told you to stay out of this, Adam.
(Later--Ebon and Rubber-Band Man are still arguing in the stockroom.)
- Ebon: After all I've done for you, this is the payback. When Dad passed away...
- Rubber-Band Man: (interupts angryly) ...Don't you mention him...
- Ebon: (interupts) ...Why not, I'm the Man of the Family now.
- Rubber-Band Man: Says who?
- Ebon: Thats the way it works, we're blood, I'm suppost to be looking after you, not fighting with...
(Static, having just finished with Talon, Shiv and Carmen-Dillo, has just walked into the stockroom.)
- Static: Did someone say 'fight'. No offence, 'Stretch,' but a big-time supervillian like Ebon requires a big-time superhero like... well, like me.
(Ebon dives at Static, who uses his powers to pull down the lights and aim them at Ebon, powering up the lights to become brighter, which diminishes Ebon's powers and forces him to disappear.)
- Ebon: Aaaaahhhhhhh, the light...
(Fustrated that Static interupted the conversation, and seeing Ebon in pain, Rubber-Band Man stretches himself over Ebon, shielding him from the light.)
- Rubber-Band Man: I got this, Static.
- Static: Wait, the light makes him lose his powers. Your blocking it.
- Ebon: (quietly, so that only Rubber-Band Man can hear him) Thanks, little brother.
(Ebon, shielded from the light can now escape, uses his portal to leave.)
- Static: (seeing that Ebon is escaping) Get off him, he'll get away.
- Rubber-Band Man: (realises that Ebon has used him to escape) I'm... sorry about that...
- Static: (angry) You wanted him to escape.
(Rubber-Band Man turns away, refusing to look Static in the eye.)
- Static: You did. I thought for a second you had gone straight, but your just like them after all.
(Rubber-Band Man wraps his arm around Static like a rope and spins him away like a spinning top and sends him crashing into a stack of shelves, knocking boxes on top of him. Rubber-Band Man leaves. Static picks himself up and tries to follow him out of the stockroom, but Rubber-Band Man has already gone.)
- Static: (exasperatedly and sarcasticly) Great.
(Virgil has just returned home to talk to his sister, Sharon, about Rubber-Band Man being in the newspaper for breaking the Meta-Breed out of jail.)
- Virgil: (has just rushed through the front door and calls upstairs to Sharon) SHARON. Sharon, we gotta talk.
(Realising she's not there, Virgil goes to close the door and wait for Sharon,
- Virgil: Where is she...?
(Virgil notices a new, purple coat rack, complete with coatsa and a hat.)
- Virgil: ...This is new...
(Virgil stops, remembers events from Bent Out of Shape and realises that it isn't actually a coat rack.)
- Virgil: ...Oh, oh...
(Virgil tries to get a way throught the front door, but Rubber-Band Man resumes his own form, closes the door and pushes Virgil to the sofa before he could get away.)
- Rubber-Band Man: (forcefully) Sit down.
- Virgil: (angryly) Sitting.
- Rubber-Band Man: I don't wanna hurt you, I just want to talk to your sister.
- Virgil: (raises the paper he had brought with him) About this?
- Rubber-Band Man: It ain't true, I didn't brake the Meta-Breed outta jail, I helped put then there.
- Virgil: Yeah, I supposed you didn't help Ebon escape from Static either.
- Rubber-Band Man: It wasn't 'like that.
- Virgil: I saw it--we all saw it.
- Rubber-Band Man: Look, I helped Ebon but I had my reasons...
- Virgil: Yeah, cos your just like him.
- Rubber-Band Man: No, (turns to leave,) because he's my brother.
(Ebon tries to escape after his disception is revealed, but is intercepted by his brother, the Rubber-Band Man.)
- Ebon: Hey, this ain't no way to treat a brother, brother.
- Rubber-Band Man: Don't hand me that 'brother' stuff, you played me, Ivan.
(Ebon and Rubber-Band Man continue to struggle.)
- Ebon: Come on, blood is thicker than water.
- Rubber-Band Man: And right and wrong are thicker than blood.
(Rubber-Band Man moves to put Ebon in a headlock, he than expands to contribute in overwhelming Ebon.)
- Ebon: Aaaah!
(Ebon passes out. Static arrives to see Ebon pass out on the ground.)
- Rubber-Band Man: Always could take him.
- Static: Sorry you had to.
(On the phone.)
- Virgil: Come on, Pops. My room's clean.
- Robert: Virgil, I'm standing in it.
(After a passer-by looks at him.)
- Static: What? A superhero can't use a payphone?
- Static: Static's bug zapping service reporting for duty.
Attack of the Living Brain Puppets
- Virgil: He's nice, but he's not smart enough to be president.
- Richie: Never stopped anyone before.
(Richie has just seen Madelyn mind-controlling someone, he turns to yell for Virgil, but not before Madelyn gets into his mind)
- Richie: Hey, Vee, check this o-
- Madelyn: Not so fast, Richard. Let's see what's in your brain...
(Inside Richies mind, Madelyn sees an image of Virgil smiling, Virgil with Richie, and Static taking off his mask to reveal himself as Virgil.)
- Virgil: What's going on? ...Richie?!
(Richie collapses against Virgil as Madelyn quickly exits his mind.)
- Madelyn: You... you're interesting. (She cackles and runs away.)
- Richie: We're in trouble, yes?
- Madelyn: (to her puppets) Get me that superhero... and his little tape, too!
- Richie: (Richie is dressed as a superhero, complete with a towel cape and broom for a weapon) He then races to... (notices Static) How long have you been standing there?
- Static: I came in at "heinous henchmen."
(Having dodged Static's attacks, Run leans against a statue and mocks Static. But Static then administers a 'Static-Cling' to Run, sticking his hand to the statue and preventing him from running out of the way.)
- Static: (about Run) Boy, talk about 'stuck on stupid!'
(Jump then teleports under Static's flying disk, stealing it from underneith Static. Static falls to the ground. Jump teleports over Static, holding his flying disk under his arm.)
- Jump: (cocky) Done playing around?
- Static: Almost... Tag! You it!! (Hits Jump)
(After defeating Ragtag, who had nearly sucked out Static's lifeforce powers.)
- Richie: V, you all right? V!
- Static: (drained) When I wake up, remind me to be very angry at you. (passes out)
- Virgil: I guess we'll have to settle this man to man.
- Richie: Mano a mano.
- Virgil: No quarter asked, no quarter given.
- Richie: Gimme a quarter.
- Rubber-Band Man: Static, you alright?
- Static: Rubber-Band Man? Watch where your going!
- Rubber-Band Man: I was. Can't say the same for you 'Mr. Hand-Stand Man.'
- Static: I was in complete control up there 'Sir Stretch-A-Lot.'
(Shiv uses his powers to smash open a cash register in a toy shop)
- Shiv: Hahahaha. My two favorite things, play toys and real money.
(A boy runs past Shiv with a toy he's trying to keep to himself)
- Shiv: Hold up junior.
(Shiv uses his powers to take the toy from the kid from several feet away.)
- Shiv: Steal your own.
(Not happy with the live news report she's watching, Puff blows a breath of her 'Mood Gas' at the TV set, causing it to blow up.)
- Teenager: (attention caught by the TV exploding) Hey! What the...? Oh, it's just her.
- Onyx: Gee Puff, you could have just turned the channel.
- Puff: I hate those two Super-Bums. We try to go legit with our bounty hunting business, but they mess things up for us. Now everyone thinks we're the criminals.
- Onyx: Er... we are criminals.
- Puff: No. We're just financing our future, that's all. (turns head) And there's our financial adviser right on time.
(Another teenager, called Dante, nervously enters the pool house to see them.)
- Rubber-Band Man: Your turn, 'Puff-Mommy.'
The Big Leagues
- Hot-Streak: Loud noises get on my nerves.
- Kangor: Everything gets on your nerves, man.
- Hot-Streak: Hey, I've got issues!
(The Joker's gang of Bang-Babies has just been taken down by Batman, Robin and Static. The Joker, armed with a shock buzzer, feigns injury to lure the Batman.)
- Joker: ...Please Batman... help me.
(A hand takes the Joker's who then proceeds to use the shock buzzer on his 'victim.')
- Joker: GOTTCHA
'(The Joker looks up to see that it wasn't the Batman's hand who had taken his, but Static's, who wasn't harmed by the electricity.)
- Static: That was fun, let me try.
(Static uses his powers to shock the Joker into unconsciousness. The Batman sees how Static has handled himself against the Joker's trick.)
- Batman: Not bad.
- Richie: ooh this looks scary!
(fishes out a mask from the box and puts in on facing Virgil.)
- Richie: (impersonating Mrs. Coleman, their study hall teacher) Mr Hawkins you're four minutes late...!
(Richie turns to some of the other teens in the gymnasium.)
- Richie (still impersonating Mrs. Coleman) ... And you, one weeks detention, care to try for two...
(Richie turns around to continue his impression.)
- Richie: ...and you boys! (sees it's Nick Conner's two lackys) you..., you..., (tosses mask aside, suddenly not in the mood to make fun,) eh!
(After has Virgil yawns real loud)
- Richie: Whoa. Was that a yawn or an elephant mating call?
Hard as Nails
(Inside Poison Ivy's and Harley Quinn's hideout.)
- Nails: Lemme get this straight, you were the one posting online as 'Ceres'?
- Poison Ivy: That's right: the goddess of the Harvest, (throws Nails an orange) and my associate, Thelia, muse of Comedy.
- Harley Quinn: (throws a kiss with both hands after she's named in jest, before getting serious) We couldn't call ourselves Harley and Ivy on account of they'd bust us again. Ain't it sad? (draws a fake tear)
(Nails holds the orange up, right in plain view of Harley and Ivy and crushes/squeezes/bursts it into juice and mush, as a visual demonstration before dropping it.)
- Nails: Forget it. I didn't come all the way to Gothum to hook-up with a couple of crooks. I'm outta here. (turns to leave)
- Poison Ivy: And where will you go, Allie?
(Harley puts on a shocked/scared face on at Ivy's remark. Allie/Nails turns around, reminded of the reason why she had come to Gothum.)
- Poison Ivy: I remember the E-mails we traded, all the fear in your letters, the desperation.
- Harley Quinn: (walking over to Nails and putting an arm around her shoulder) No-one should go through that alone, girlfriend.
- Poison Ivy: We may be, as you said, crooks now, but once we were doctors, and I'm still a brillent chemist.
- Harley Quinn: ...And as a therapist, (starts cartwheeling around Nails,) I've been helping victims deal with their afflictions--laughter is the best medicine, you know. (pops up behind Nails, shaking a rattle toy,) Hee hee hee.
- Nails: (raises her hands up threateningly, her elongated, extra sharp nails into Harley's immediate line-of-sight) This isn't funny!
- Harley Quinn: (intimidated) Did I say 'laughter', (hides rattle behind her back,) I meant penicillin.
- Poison Ivy: The fact is, we can help you, my dear, (turns to her workbench and picks up a sealed vial from a stand,) I've issolated a cure for the Bang-Baby Syndrome. It worked on others and it can work on you. That's what you've come for... right.
- Nails: Yes.
(Nails reaches for the vial, but with a flick of her wrist, Poison Ivy throws it to Harley Quinn, who catches it between her teeth, keeping it from Nails.)
- Poison Ivy: Unfortuneatly, it is rather a expensive formula. I'm afraid your gonna have to earn it.
- Nails: (lowers her head, desperate to be normal) I'm down for anything.
- Harley Quinn: Now thats your first step to recovery.
- Poison Ivy: Okay, I stopped the ship, and Harley stopped the crew, it's time for our little Nails to do the rest.
- Nails: Where'd he go?
- Batman: The kid's got style.
Static in Africa
- Anansi the Spider: I suggest we stand on tradition, Oseba, you know well the ancient stories--the Spider always captures the Leopard.
- Virgil: Hit him with a web-blast!
- Anansi: I am not that kind of spider. (generates a glowing net from his hands) And this is not that kind of web.
(Virgil has just revealed his powers to Anansi)
- Virgil: I'm a superhero too--don't tell my Dad.
(Static and Anansi are following Oseba's trail with one of Static's tracers, Anansi is standing on the underside of Static's flying disk.)
- Static: I still don't get who you can stand upside-down.
- Anansi: Stick-to-it-tive-ness.
(Has just buried Anansi the Spider and Static under rockslide rubble.)
- Oseba: At last, the Spider has been stepped on.
(Static has just used his powers to free Anansi and himself from being buried under a rockslide)
- Anansi: That is a very useful ability.
- Static: I practice on weekends.
- Henchman: Number 2 reporting in; no sign of anyone yet.
(Anansi, upside-down, pops down on screen above the henchman.)
- Anansi: And you call yourself a lookout.
- Henchman: (caught off-guard, turns around and gasps) Huh!?
- Anansi: (mock-gasps) Huh!?
(Anansi graps the henchman by his jumper and Static flies all three of them up dozens of feet above Lake Volta.)
- Anansi: Where is Oseba?
- Henchman: Inside the Dam, (looks down fearfuly at how high above the ground and lake he is,) with the others.
- Anansi: Where in the Dam?
- Henchman: The bottom tunnel.
- Anansi: (to Static) He has been most helpful, what should be his reward?
- Static: How about we take 'em for a spin.
(Static starts to spin them with his flying disk, the henchman starts to feel queesy. Anansi lets go, allowing the henchman to be launched into the lake by the momentum from the spinning.)
- Static: And they say cats always land on their feet.
- Static: (After failing to find Ebon escaping through the sewer) Whoa! Man! I guess when you become a living shadow, the nose is the first thing to go!
- Virgil: (sees Richie rapidly scribbling schematics in his notebook) Richie.
- Richie: Uh-huh?
- Virgil: What you workin' on?
- Richie: (speaking rapidly) Well, last night while I was fixing my roller blades, I was watching the military special on harrier jets, you know, the ones that can make vertical take-offs and landings, and I was thinking wouldn't it be super-cool to integrate that technology into my skates?
- Virgil: ...Oookay...
- Mr. MacGill: Now, the first step in solving this... (he sees Richie engrossed in his notebook) Mr. Foley? ... Mr. Foley? (Richie still reads through his notebook) MR. FOLEY?
- Richie: (finally looks up) Huh?
- Mr. MacGill: Mr. Foley (points at the equation) The problem?
- Richie: (Richie adjusts his glasses and takes a glance at the ten-line-long equation of mathematical gibberish for five seconds and...) Four over pi.
- Mr. MacGill: Perhaps, Mr. Foley, if you had been paying atten- (realizing) What?
- Richie: The answer. Four over pi.
- Mr. MacGill: Uh ... yes ... but ... how did you know?
(Everyone in the classroom stare at Richie in shock and amazement, making him feel nervous.)
- Richie: (ducks behind his desk) Uh ... lucky guess?
- Virgil: (after stopping the jet blade from colliding into Richie's face) Richie, this is too much!
- Richie: You're right. The rear thrusters seem to be overpowered.
- Virgil: No man! Not the skates! YOU!
- Richie: What do you mean?
- Virgil: The robot, the Zap-Caps, all this stuff! I mean, suddenly you're Brainiac the Maniac!
- Richie: So I'm a little smarter than most people. What's the big deal?
- Virgil: A little!? The Department of Defense couldn't think up most of this stuff!
- Richie: Well they don't have to! I already thought it up for them!
- Richie: (ponders slowly at first) I do feel different lately; I think faster, a lot faster. (starts to speed up) Sometimes I can't stop thinking. Sometimes it's like my thoughts are thinking thoughts! See, I just thought that! (starts panicking) It's like ideas are exploding in my head! Does it look bigger? It does, doesn't it? Cranial perimeters definitely expanding. Oooh no!
- Virgil: You look fine.
- Richie: Fine?! I'm having some kind of strain-on-the-brain breakdown!! I could be going crazy, I...
- Virgil: (grabs Richie) You know what I think, Rich? I think maybe you're becoming a Bang-Baby.
- Virgil: Yo, bro. What's that? Plans for a particle accelerator?
- Richie: (sighs) Yeah.
- Virgil: I was kidding.
- Richie: Why couldn't I have gotten a cool power like, super strength or laser vision?
- Virgil: Laser vision?
- Richie: How am I supposed to fight super villains? Think them into submission? The only thing I can be is your mega mechanic...
- Gear: (admires himself in the mirror in his new uniform) Well? What do ya think?
- Static: (holding his face) I think you spend too much time in front of the mirror than my sister does! And that worries me.
- Gear: Now I just need to come up with a superhero handle. How about, Hardware?
- Static: I think someone's using it.
- Gear: Steel?
(Static rolls his eyes)
- Gear: Well it's got to say something about all this gear I got!
- Static: Gear... how about that?
- Gear: ...Perfect-a-mundo!
The Usual Suspect
- Virgil: How do you know that?
- Richie: I looked it up in my Crime Database Computer Index.
- Virgil: Whoe, ur, hold up. What Crime Database Computer Index?
- Richie: I cross-indexed all newspaper crime reports from the last 20 years--about 852,000,000 items in all.
- Virgil: And it really works?
- Richie: Would you ask Batman that question?
- Virgil: No, but he's a famous Caped Crusader with his own Batmobile and Batplane. You are a sophomore with a pocket protector.
- Static: (to 'the Monster' about it not attacking Marcus himself) So why aren't you going after him. Marcus not good enough for you.
(Static uses his powers to generate light to blind 'the Monster' because it's eyes are sensitive to bright lights.)
- Static: I'm on to you Dawg, or should I say, 'girlfriend.'
- Marcus: (because Static is talking to 'the Monster' about him) What you talking about?
- Static: Check it Marcus, creature-feature wants you to take the blame for all the damage it creates.
- Marcus: What for!?
- Static: Maybe because you broke up with her.
('The Monster' rips a small tree out of the ground and uses it to knock Static away, leaving her alone with Marcus.)
- Marcus: Tamara...?
- Tamara: Thats right, Sweetie.
- Marcus: But how...?
- Tamara: Remember the night you broke up with me. I went to the docks looking for you, hoping to get you back. You weren't there.
- Marcus: So the Big-Bang got you
- Tamara: Yeah, but not you--you walked away clean, from me and everything else.
- Marcus: So you blaming me for what happened.
- Tamara: Oh, yeah. Before, only my heart was hurting, now everything hurts--I try to control it, but... you got no idea what it's like to live with a monster inside of you.
- Marcus: What you gonna do?
- Tamara: (starts to advance on him threateningly) What do you think.
- She-Bang: What? Afraid I'm gonna show you up again, shock jockey? Well, you can relax.
- Static: I am relaxed. You're the one jumpin' around like a demented cheerleader.
(Scene opens with a city-wide gang riot.)
- Shelly Sandoval: (off screen) Flashback; The infamous Dakota Gang Riots, began with a freek power blackout on a hot summer's night.
(Over the screen appears the words FIVE YEARS AGO, before dissappearing.)
- Shelly Sandoval: (off screen) Then, roving gangs turned violent on the outskirts of our city. It was Dakota's darkest hour. But there were some rays of light, rescue workers who raced into danger to save innocent lives. Today, on the five-year anniversery of the riots, we're here to celebrate those heroes with the unvailing of a monument dedicated to their bravery. One of the tragedys that occured that night, was the death of Emergency Rescue Doctor, Jean Hawkins, victim of a stray gun shot. Joining us for this very special ceramony is Jean's family; her husband, Robert, and her two children, Sharon and Virgil.
A League of Their Own (part 1)
- Carmen Dillo: If I knew Static was friends with the Justice League, I wouldn't have joined you boneheads. Not even to do laundry. [...]
Gear: Yo! How come you never told me you were down with these big dogs?
Static: 'Cause it's a secret. So secret that I didn't even know.
- Brainiac: You are only delaying the inevitable.
Static: You say that like it's a bad thing.
- Hawkgirl: [to Gear] Hey! Remember your promise about staying in the corner.
Gear: Yeah, but....
Hawkgirl: In. The. Corner.
- Brainiac: [stuttering as Static drains him] No-o-o-o-o. No. No. I can-can-can-cannot be be-be-be-beaten. I am Brai-i-i-niac, B-B-B-Brai-i-i-ni-Brai-i-niac, B-B-B-Brai-Brai-niac. O-o-one day I-I will be-be-be-be back-be-back-be-back and-and-and-and I will lay-y-y-y the funk down! [disappears]
Blast from the Past
- Virgil: (reading from a comicbook) ...This was the final showdown. Good vs. evil. Soul Power braced himself. Would his superpowers stand up to... the horrible hats of the Haberdasher. (Talking to his listeners) Uuh hah. Dig that, Soul Power's scared of hats.
- Morris: Boy, don't be dissing Soul Power. Those hats are deadly.
- Virgil: Come on Mr. Grant, how dangerous can a hat be?
- Dennis: Oh leave the boy alone Morris. And quit interrupting, I keep hoping maybe this time that arrogant Soul Power gets it in the chops.
- Morris: (turns to Dennis) Dennis, I'm this close to giving you a knuckle sandwich. (Turns back to Virgil) Just keep reading Sparky, and give it some 60's groove. You kids today have no sense of style. Why back in my day...
- Dennis: ...Not again...
- Morris: ...Cars were faster, threads were finer, and the girls were foxy.
- Dennis: (exasperated at Morris' pre-occupation with the 60's) Ohh.
- Morris: (lost in the past) Umm, umm.
- Virgil: Thats it, (looks at watch,) lunch break.
- Morris: Hey. Your not done with Soul Power.
- Virgil: Trust me, I'm done with Soul Power.
- Virgil: Sharon, You gotta let me go home, please.
- Sharon: (exasperated with Virgil) What's wrong now?
- Virgil: It's Mr. Grant, he's making me crazy.
- Sharon: Virgil, you said you'd come here to the retirement home to help me, now you wanna leave short-handed. What kind of help is that?!
- Virgil: But, I...
- Sharon: This community service, Virgil, it's your duty as a citizen. Besides, you could learn a few things from the older generation. (walks away)
- Virgil: (calls after her) Like what? How to annoy people?!
- Shelly Sandoval: (reporter on the TV) We interupt the broadcast for a special report. A major crime is in progress at the Dakota Museum of Technology. It began just moments ago...
(Robots are seen on the live broadcast, marching into the museum through a hole blown through the wall.)
- Virgil: (quietly) Looks like it's time for my kind of community service.
(Virgil changes into his Static clothes on top of the roof of the Retirement home.)
- Virgil/Static: Goodbye old folks, hello...
- Morris: (opens the door to the roof) ...Static
- Virgil/Static: (still without his mask on) Mr. Grant?!...
- Virgil/Static: Ahh, well I guess your wondering, 'whats with the costume,' well, I... umm...
- Morris Grant: Don't sweat it boy, I knew you were Static when I first met you
- Virgil/Static: What... You did?
- Morris: Yep, (moves his hand in front of and rround Virgil/Static, causesing electrical energy to become visible,) I could feel the electrical field around you.
- Virgil/Static: Whoa... How'd you do that?
- Morris: Because I have a secret identity too. Here, this should help you recognise me. (puts on a mask)
- Virgil/Static: (doesn't recognise him) Your... the Lone Ranger?!
- Morris: No. It's me, Soul Power.
- Virgil/Static: (disbelief) What?!.
- Morris/Soul Power: And your gonna take me with you to that museum.
- Virgil/Static: Whoa man are yo trippin'--why whould I do a wacked thing like that?!
- Morris/Soul Power: Because if you don't, I'll tell all my friends I met a real superhero today; Virgil Hawkins.
- Static: Hey, how'd you get to be a superhero anyway?
- Soul Power: It all started in the early 60's; I was just a normal cat until I got in the way of some thugs who wanted to crash Hoover Dam, transformer blew, giving me the strength of 10 turbines. I fought all sorts of scum back in my day, but the worst of them all was my arch-enemy; Professor Menace.
- Static: (mockingly) Professor Menace? What, was the name 'Dr. Bad-Dude' already taken.
- Soul Power: Laugh all you want kid, but Menace came this close to taking over the world. Back in 63, we had our last big battle; I had just about beat him when he suddenly stepped back, hit a switch and his whole lab exploded. I got out okay, but I never did find any trace of him.
- Static: A bad guy who wants to rule the world, ahh, thats original. Was he gonna do it all by himself or did he have help?
- Soul Power: He used robots, exactly like the ones at the museum.
- Static: What?
- Soul Power: Thats why I had to come with you, those robot on TV once belonged to Professor Menace. (jumps onto the powerline cables) Ride on.
- Static: Hey, come back here. (flys after him)
- Phillip Rollins: After all these years, I can't believe it.
- Soul Power: Believe it Phil, I'm back and I need your help, I want access to your satillites.
- Phillip Rollins: I'm sorry Soul Power, but I can't allow that unless your a government approved client.
- Soul Power: Look, years ago, you were a young man who used to call me his idol, now your the powerful Mr. Rollins, head of this big defence satililite firm; don't tell me your too high-and-mighty to help out an old friend.
- Phillip Rollins: Times have changed Soul Power, everything these days is about security clearence. I can't do it.
- Soul Power: Back in the 60's, I fought so that young men like you would have a chance to get to this position.
- Phillip Rollins: You also taught us never to brake rules, and I won't, not even for you. Besides, aren't you too old for this sort of thing.
- Soul Power: Your never too old to fight for justice.
(Static is standing by himself a distance away from them)
- Static: (quietly) Ohh... Thats debatable.
(driving back across town in the Soulmobile)
- Static: Now what?
- Soul Power: Back to the Power-Pad...
(Soul Power holds up Phillip Rollins' security card)
- Soul Power: I need to tap into those top-secret satillites.
- Static: You stole his security card?!
- Soul Power: You know how things cling to you have static electricity.
- Static: Ah. Right on.
A League of Their Own (part 2)
- Batman: Flash...
- Flash: Way ahead of you, I'll run him down.
(Flash runs off off-screen before Batman could finish. A moment later Flash returns.)
- Flash: Errm, how do I find him, I don't know what he looks like under his mask.
- Batman: This might help. While they were here our security cameras caught them having lunch.
(Batman calls up security footage showing Static and Gear in the cafeteria eating pizza, and in order to eat, Gear had his helmet off.)
- Batman: (simplisticly) He's the one on the left.
- Flash: I was wondering where all the pizza went.
- Hawkgirl: Your friend is missing, and so is our's.
- Green Lantern: Flash came here hours ago to investigate whether Braniac had escaped into Gear's computer.
- Martian Manhunter: We haven't heard from him all day. That's suspicious, even factoring in his usual irresponsibility.
- Static: Richie, if you can hear me, you gotta fight it! I broke free from Brainiacs mind control, you can, too!
- Gear: (overcoming Brainiacs mind control for a moment) Control... control... control!
- Static: That's right, Richie! I'll fight it with you!
- Braniac: Justice League, destroy him.
- Static: Who, me? Wait a minute, guys. I don't want to have to hurt you.
(The mind-cotrolled Justice League members keep advancing.)
- Static: Heh, I guess that sounded as lame to you as it did to me.
(Static has freed four of the five Justice Leaguers from Brainiac's control.)
- Static: (counting off on his fingers) Let's see: Batman, Flash, Hawkgirl, J'onn... who's left?
(A green bolt nearly hits him from Green Lantern below.)
- Static: Oh, yeah... the Lord of the Ring.
- Green Lantern: (To Static) You're not coming.
- Static: What?! But... Batman!
- Batman: He's right. You're too close to this.
- Green Lantern: For a rookie you did well Static, but I can tell you'll be a handful when you finally join the League.
- Static: I'm sorry; did you say when I join the League?
- Batman: Anything is possible... when you're a little older.
- Flash: But remember, I get first dibs on the pizza.
Toys in the Hood
- Static: Anybody wants to help out a young, gifted, and about-to-be-squashed hero, now would be the time.
- Superman: (flying in) I'll take that offer! (Superman saves Static by holding cymbals of giant musical monkey apart) Need some help getting this monkey off your back, Static?
- Gear: Whoa! I just had my ankle x-rayed by Superman! I'm never gonna wash it again.
- Static: (About Toyman's Clown robots) This clown posse really is insane!
- Toyman: What a great day! I get my beautiful new Darcie, and get to finish off Superman and... whats-his-name?
- Darcy: Don't move! Anybody!
- Static: A slingshot and a ping-pong ball? What's that gonna do?
- Toyman: That 'ping-pong ball' packs enough energy to take out the entire block. Trust me. I created it.
- Static: You know, you need a new hobby!
Romeo in the Mix
- Gear: You know, I admire a brother who sticks by his principles! You wouldn't happen to see one around, would you?
- Hotstreak: (To Lil Romeo) Can I have your autograph? (Romeo groans) Hey, it's for my sister!
- The Leech: (looking down at Gear) Poor boy. I’d steal your powers too, but they appear to be the kind you can buy at a hardware store.
The Parent Trap
(Static and Gear have just been knocked into a dumpster.)
- Gear: ...Dumpster! ...Why is it always a dumpster!?
- Gear: The house specialty, the abandoned burrito of solitude. One bite, and you'll need to be alone!
- She-Bang: (sighs) No, thanks.
- Gear: She must really be down, I'm using my best jokes!
- Static: Maybe that's what's depressin' her.
- Dr. Jonathan Vale: Let her go!
- Dr. Dolores Vale: Darling we’re so sorry, we...
- She-Bang: 'Sorry’ doesn’t cut it! What are you doing back here? The Government shut this place down!
- Dr. Koenig: We needed a place to work.
- She-Bang: Whats going on?
- Dr. Dolores Vale: As you know, before you were... before you came along, we worked with Dr. Koenig here.
- Dr. Jonathan Vale: We were trying to find a way for living cells to absorb energy more efficiently, bypass the whole metabloic process. It was a dead end. We went on to another project
- She-Bang: Me.
- Dr. Dolores Vale: Yes. While Koenig continued his research.
- Dr. Jonathan Vale: He experimented on himself. You see the results.
- Dr. Koenig: I achieved my goal, I gained the ability to absorb mass from other objects, their atomic structure collapses, I become tougher. Unfortunitly I ended up with some unpleasent side-affects; I can’t stop the process.
- Dr. Jonathan Vale: Soon he won’t be able to move, he’ll become a living statue.
- Dr. Dolores Vale: That’s why he stole those things, so we could build this chamber, and force the cure into his skin under pressure.
- She-Bang: Why help him at all?
- Dr. Koenig: Simple self-intrest. Show her. If your parents don’t cure me, I’ll push this button. Three minutes later, those collars will inject them with poison.
- She-Bang: I can brake those in a second.
- Dr. Koenig: Ah, but if you even try, they’ll go off, and I’m the only one who knows the deactivation code.
- She-Bang: Your sick!
- Dr. Koenig: Agreed. Now lets get to work.
- Robin: (About Batman) He learnt science from noble loriates, martial arts from kung-fu masters and manners from a crocodile.
- Static: So he's a little harsh sometimes.
- Robin: Sometimes?!
- Static: He's teaching you, making sure you would be ready for whatever. I think you're pretty lucky.
- Static: And you're Bruce Wayne, aren't you? But you're so ...
- Bruce: Old? No big surprise, considering that you just hop-scotched forty years!
- Batman (Beyond): Kobra has captured one of the world's grestest heros. He's someone with the power to change the future.
- Static: How great can this guy be if he got captured by a bunch of snake people?
- Bruce: He's you, Virgil.
- Static: You've seen what I can do! You're still mad about that little go-around we had!
- Batman (Beyond): (defensively) This has nothing to do with that!
- Batman (Beyond): Robin's... a civilian now. The rest of the League's stationed near Alpha Centauri. Gear's on a mission halfway round the world. As for your son...
- Static: Son!? I have a son?
- Static: Sure must be nice having someone to give you leads and help figure out things.
- Batman (Beyond): It is. What was Bruce like when you knew him?
- Static: Taller.
(Static and Batman (Beyond) have infiltrated Kobra's base and have found Static's future-self.)
- Batman (Beyond): It's a stasis field. That's how they're holding him.
- Static: That's me. Got a plan?
- Batman (Beyond): Go down there and fight real hard.
- Static: That's what I was thinking, and I don't even have a mentor.
- Kobra Leader: What have we here... a failed cloning attempt, a Mini-Static?
(The Kobra Leader grabs Static. Static delivers an electric shock to him, but it has no effect.)
- Kobra Leader: Yep, mini alright.
- Static: Batman, you were -
- Batman: I'd rather not know.
- Static: At least you still had your hair.
- Static: (to Gear) I thought you said that couldn't happen in real life!
- She-Bang: (interupting) If you two don't pay attention, real life's gonna be over real soon!
- Shenice: And the best part is, I don't have to pretend I'm shy anymore. I can be myself.
- Richie: (to Virgil) There's a scary thought.
- Virgil: Bad enough She-Bang keeps butting in when we're on patrol, but Shenice won't let us alone neither.
- Richie: You're telling me. She was so busy describing the new curtains for the gas station, she followed me right into the boys' restroom. (in a higher-pitched voice) She thought that could use new curtains too.
- Madelyn: Give me some space, ok?
- Ebon: Seems to me you got plenty of that between your ears.
- Hot-Streak: (has Gear cornered) Gotcha now, Poindexter.
- Gear: That's Mr. Poindexter to you.
- Gear: (activates backpack while flying) I've got Backpack scanning for any pressure changes, temperature spikes, high-frequency sounds...
- Static: (looks ahead and sees the tornado in the junkyard caused by Ebon) Or we could just use our eyes.
- Gear: Er... yes, but that would've been too easy.
Out of Africa
- Gear: Ah, I think those guys have the right idea, I'm dangerously close to curfew.
- Static: You wouldn't have a cerfew if you hadn't blown up your garage.
- Gear: Those compounds were theoretically stable.
- Oseba: You do not have it. Explain.
- Onini: The doctor has hidden it.
- Mmoboro: And Static arrived and we were forced to retreat.
- Oseba: You fear the wrong person. Static's wrath is nothing compared to my own.
- Onini: We're sorry, Oseba.
- Oseba: Do not apologise--find it.
- Mmoboro: As you say, Oseba, we have eyes everywhere.
- Static: I still can't figure out why they didn't take anything.
- Anansi: But they did; a Golden Spider with incredible powers; infact, it is the source of my powers.
- Anansi: (narrating) ...This story belongs to Kweku Anansi, as do all stories.
(Anansi uses his powers to illustrate to Static the origins of his powers: first, planets appear, along with the Earth, before zooming in on the heart of Africa. A birds-eye-veiw of a rainforest is shown, with a flock of birds flying over it, a bird's wing passes across the screen and the scene changes with angle now facing the sky above the jungle, in which a spider's web is shown reaching all corners of the sky, with a large yellow and red spider with six legs and a pair of arms, walking on it.)
- Anansi: (narrating) Once, there was a very clever spider, called Kweku Anansi, who wished to have the power of storytelling...
(Circles of shimmering lights--the Sky King--appear in the sky above where Kweku Anansi stands on his web, drawing his attention up.)
- Anansi: (narrating) ...The Sky King, who owned all things, made a bargin with Kweku; "Bring me three evil-doers and in return, I will grant you that power." So brave Kweku set out to bring the Sky King what he asked for....
- Anansi: (narrating) ...Kweku tricked Mmoboro, The Stinging Hornet, into a gourd...
(Scene changes to a close-up of a snake's head before zooming out to show that the snake has been bound to a long, thick piece of wood standing out of the ground. Kweku Anansi flexes both his arms in triumph.)
- Anansi: (narrating) ...Kweku tricked Onini, The Bullying Python, and tied him to a stick...
(Scene changes to a close-up of a leopard's face, before zooming out to show the Leopard walking on the jungle floor just before the mighty jungle cat falls down into a deep pit. Kweku Anansi looks into the pit to see that he has successfuly captured Oseba.)
- Anansi: (narrating) ...Kweku tricked Oseba, The Greedy Leopard, who fell into a pit.
(As Kweku Anansi was looking down into the pit, the circles of shimmering lights that represent the appearence of The Sky King become visible in the sky above Kweku Anansi, ready to collect the three evil-doers he charged Kweku Anansi with capturing and bestows Kweku Anansi with the power of storytelling as he promised.)
- Anansi: (narrating) The Sky King was pleased. He granted the spider his request. And with the power of Storytelling came the power of Illusion.
- Static: Is the gold spider Kweku?
- Anansi: No--Kweku made the gold spider to hold his powers, (Kweku Anansi forms the gold spider in his hands as he his endowed with his new powers,) and each generation passed those powers from one hero to the next. (Scene changes to show Africa) But the original spider was lost for centuries, (Dr. Anokye's face is now shown with Africa,) until Dr. Anokye found it again in the Ashanti ruins.
- Static: What happens if Oseba gets it?
- Anansi: He could drain my powers back into the spider--but worse he would have powers equal to mine.
- Gear: (to Sharon) Oh! Don't worry, Ma'am, the boy who with you when you were attacked is just fine. I saw to that.
- Gear: Pictures don't lie, V.
- Static: Oh, no? Then, what about the one you made on your computer with a poodle's head and Sharon's body?
- Gear: Heh. That did look pretty real.
(Gear has just been blasted out of the sky by the faux Green Lantern, and saved by Static just in time)
- Static: (angrily) You can do what you want to me, but NOT to my friend!
Army of Darkness
- Static: Late night robbery sweeps Dakota. (Reading from a newspaprer) Police unable to catch mystery thieves. Yeah, me neither.
- Gear: Static!
(Static wakes up)
- Static: Uh! What!
- Gear: You fell asleep again like you did in chemistry class. Well ... at least you're not lighting a Bunsen Burner this time.
- Static: I guess I'm not cut out for these all-nighters. I don't know how Batman does it.
- Gear: Eh, in real life, he's probably some rich guy who gets to sleep all day... (Virgil looks nervous) Wait a minute, he is, isn't he?!
- Static: I'm not saying anything.
(Finding out that the dark matter machine is being placed at the gas station)
- Static: Our own headquarters? We should of gotten a big guard dog to watch it, or at least a Chihuahua with some attitude.
- Gear: Man, the city's stopped. Not even the cops can get through.
- Static: Maybe that's the idea. (Backpack beeps) Backpack got something?
- Gear: He's sensing increased abnormal transformations of base compounds on a molecular level.
- Static: In english.
- Gear: Nanites.
- Static: That's english?
Now You See Him ...
- Gear: Looks like we're closing in on our 'ghost'.
- Static: What does a ghost need with an Mp3 player?
- Gear: Well, for one thing, CDs are too bulky.
(Speedwarp, moving so fast that he cannot be seen, causes Gear to crash into Static)
- Static: That was embarrassing.
- Gear: I won't tell anybody if you won't.
- Virgil: (to Eddie) Remember me? Virgil?
- Eddie: Yes, 'the vinegar-and-baking-soda-bomber'.
- Virgil: Heh. That stuff pretty much washed out, didn't it?
- Eddie: Yeah, I'm on spring break from college. I graduated high school early 'cause, you know, I'm a genius.
- Virgil: We know, man, we were there.
- Static: (to Gear) We've got a problem.
- Gear: Don't worry, S-man. We can take this guy.
- Static: Uh huh. Why don't you put this back on? (holds up Gear's helmet)
- Gear: Ah!
(In the plane's cockpit, Static sees that the pilot has been tied up.)
- Static: (to Gear) I don't suppose you have a pair of scissors?
- Gear: (Backpack's gadgets come into view on multible robotic arms, including a fork and a comb) ...No.
- Dr. McDonald: Please! I don't know how to fly this!
- Gear: (taking hold of the controls) Not to worry. I've logged over two-hundred hours in an F-15.
- Static: You have?
- Gear: Well, on my gamestation flight simulator. (Engine suddenly explodes) But that never happens!
(Static is trying to stop the plane from crashing after one of the engine's blew, while Gear is trying to land it.)
- Gear: I'm going to try to land on Woodward Avenue.
- Static: There are cars down there!
- Gear: I know. This thing got a horn?
(Gear has just successfuly landed the plane.)
- Gear: So, how'd I do?
- Static: Isn't that your Dad's car?
(Gear gasps in horror, turning around to see nothing. He glares at Static.)
- Static: Heh, got ya.
- Gear: He's gone completely out of sync with our time. He's trapped in his own warp.
- Static: What do we do?
- Gear: I don't think there's anything we can do except call the cops.
- Static: Well, they won't have to hurry. By the time he gets to the end of the block, it'll be Christmas.
No Man's an Island
- Hot-Streak: Whoo-hoo! Now this is what I call a hot car!
- Static: Coincidentally, this is also what the police call a 'hot car'.
- Hot-Streak: Static, can't a guy even go for a joy ride anymore?
- Static: Sure. Drop you off at County lockup?
(Hot-Streak tries melting the cuffs on himself and Static.)
- Hot-Streak: This stuff's some kind of high-tech stupid somethin' or other.
- Static: Can I quote you on that, Professor?
- Static: Now you're usin' your head.
- Hot-Streak: Not really. I just like to blow stuff up.
- Static: How's your shoulder?
- Hot-Streak: Fine. How's your stupid leg?
- Static: Fine.
- Hot-Streak: I don't do hospitals. I went in one once when I was a kid and didn't come out for two years.
- Static: If we can't get that key and unlock orselves, we're both gonna be in here a lot longer than two years.
(Static finally reaches a sedated and unconcious Gear strapped to a hospital table.)
- Static: Gear! (He zaps the straps to release him. He grabs Gear and shakes him gently.) Gear, can you hear me?!
- Gear: (groans and opens his eyes) Hey... what brings you here?
- Static: (grins widely, relieved that he's alright) I heard there was gonna be free ice cream.
(After Static and Hotstreak risk their lives to revive Alva's son.)
- Edwin Alva Sr.: I can't thank you enough for what you've done.
- Static: I didn't do it for you Alva. I did it because it was right.
- Hot-Streak: Yeah. You should try it.
(Everyone looks at Hot-Streak.)
- Gear: You know, I'm pretty good at passing myself!
(Chainlink absorbs the metal wires.)
- Gear: Okay, no more feeding spring boy anymore metal.
- Static: Time we used Plan "B".
- Gear: Ok. What's Plan "B"?
- Static: Stop using Plan "A".
- Gear: Check us out, V! Hangin' with Dule, protecting him wherever he goes, we're his posse!
- Static: Uh, Rich, for us to be a 'posse', he'd have to know we're following him around.
- Gear: Ah, right. So, what does that make us?
- Static: Stalkers.
- Richie: Man, look at him go!
- Robert: You know, I was once pretty fast on the field myself.
- Virgil: Pops, was that back during the jurassic age or are we talking past lives here?
Where the Rubber Meets the Road
- Virgil: What I lack in maturity, I make up for in immaturity.
- Tarmack: You'd better run, 'cause I'm Tarmack, a living chunk of the biggest, baddest road you'll ever drive on... and the road is hard.
- Tarmack: Your security's useless, Alva. Ya shoulda hired a bouncer.
- Rubber-Band Man: Now there's an entrance line if I ever heard one!
- Static: Looks like 'Asphalt Man's one tough road to hoe.
- Tarmack: Hey! The name's Tarmack!
- Static: What kind of a name is 'Thumb-Tack'?
- Gear: No, no, man, he said 'Knick-Knack'.
- Static: 'Fat-Back'?
- Gear: I think it was 'Rat-Pack'.
- Static: Oh, 'Short-Stack'.
- Static: Look at this; it’s a review of your new CD.
- Rubber-Band Man: I don’t read my reviews.
- Static: Don’t or can’t?
- Rubber-Band Man: Look I’m dyslexic all right. They put me in a special learning program. They showed me techniques.
- Static: Like what?
- Rubber-Band Man: A lot of stuff. You change words into something you can feel instead of look at, but it takes patience. I could never sit still as a kid.
- Static: So you dropped out of the program?
- Rubber-Band Man: I felt dumb! Don’t tell anyone about this ok?
- Static: You’re not dumb! Look what you made of yourself. A hero. A famous musician. But…
- Rubber-Band Man: But I messed up.
- Static: I was gonna say ‘but you can’t give in’. You said you can read, it just takes some work. Do the work.
- Specs: The fusion engine, that you secured for us, will power our brainchild - 'The Disaster Matrix'...
- Trapper: I named it.
- Specs: ...We can use it to channel enormous energies to any section of the city, reducing it to rubble.
- Trapper: Or we can de-rail trains, crack airport runways.
- Specs: We’ll hold all of Dakota for ransom.
- Trapper: We’ll make millions.
- Rubber-Band Man: (about his Dyslexia) Thanks for not saying anything.
- Static: When are you gonna say something?
(Static, Gear and Rubber-Band Man have stormed Specs' and Trapper's base of operations. Static has short-circuited Specs' high tech glasses. Gear has moved in to capture Specs with a Zap-Cap--but Specs is prepared with the lab's security.)
- Specs: Contain 22-1 mark 7.
(Gear's Zap-Cap is suddenly contained within a forcefield, suspended in mid-throw. The Zap-Cap then explodes safely.)
- Specs: Contain 17-2 mark 12.
(A larger forcefield is erected around Gear, imprisoning him.)
- Gear: (impressed) ...Voice command... Awesome. Hey Back-Pack, jam anything in the room plotting co-ordinates.
(Back-Pack starts beebing as it executes the command, and Specs' forcefield security measure is countered. Specs steps back away from Gear, not seeing that Static is behind him.)
- Static: (to Specs) I should blast your butt, but that's ungentlemanly. (thinks it over again) Aw, who am I kidding?
Wet and Wild
(Gear looks at Static, who is shaking his head, apparently trying to get water out of his ear.)
- Gear: You alright?
- Static: Ever since we took that dip in the lake, I got water in my ear! S'cuse me a second.
(Static shakes his head some more, and a bolt of electricity shoots out of his ear and zaps Gear rear. Gear yelps in embarassment.)
- Static: (smirks) Ah, that's better.
(Having been instructed to kidnap Robert Hawkins by Karen Roberts, a.k.a. Omnara, Puff and Onyx, as-per their instructions hand over to Static directions to where to go see their employer.)
- Static: If this is a trick, you won't be able to run far enough.
(Static flies off, leaving Puff not understanding whats going on.)
- Puff: (about Static) I don't get it. We snatch one guy, and he acts like it's the crime of the century.
- Static: Mr. Hawkins, I'm glad to see you're ok.
- Robert: You can drop the act, Virgil.
- Static: You know?
- Robert: Wasn't hard to figure out. Why else kidnap me to get to Static? And maybe, just maybe, in the back of my mind, I've always known.
- Static: (grabs Gear by the back of his costume) You double-crossing little WORM! I hate WORMS like you! Why don't you run a diagnostic to see what just what kinda double-dealing little WORM you are! (flys off)
- Static: Did you get my message?
- Gear: Dude, you called me a worm like three times. How could I miss it?
- Robert: Is that... Richie?
- Gear: (coughs and deepens his voice) Er, Mr. Hawkins, you have to understand the most secret part of a superhero is his secret identity and, well, uh-
- Static: Yeah, that's Richie.
- Gear: (voice cracks) Hi, Mr. H.
- Sharon: Virgil!
- Virgil: You shrieked?
- Sharon: You didn't take the garbage out last night.
- Virgil: Is that what smells? I figured you were trying a new recipe.
- Sharon: You have to help with the chores!
- Virgil: I do help with the chores!
- Sharon: No. You say you'll help. Then you disappear. 'Poof'!
- Virgil: Well, I wouldn't say 'poof'. It's more like ... zoom.
- Daisy: What is up with you two? You say you'll help. Then you disappear. Poof!
- Virgil: Have you been talking to my sister?
- Frieda: Look! It's Static and Gear.
- Daisy: And as usual, Virgil and Richie are nowhere in sight. (pause) You don't think?
- Frieda: Nah. It couldn't be.
(Last line of the series)
- Static: They can't get rid of us that easily!