The Mentalist (season 4)

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The Mentalist (2008–2015) is an American crime procedural television series, airing on CBS, about a private investigator who uses his skills of observation to help the police solve crimes.

Scarlet Ribbons [4.01]

[Lisbon is in the prison visiting area. Jane enters in his inmate's uniform.]

Jane: So, how was your week? [smiles as he watches Lisbon laugh] You should be in the hospital. What are you doing here?

Lisbon: I'm okay. You, on the other hand.

Jane: Oh, I'm okay too.

Lisbon: You killed an unarmed man in front of five hundred witnesses. You're not okay.

Jane: He had a gun. Someone must have taken it and switched the cell phone. It's the only possible explanation.

Lisbon: That or you went nuts for a moment.

Jane: Lisbon, look at me. I didn't go nuts.

Lisbon: I believe you. I'm not sure a jury will.

Jane: Yeah, well, that is a problem, but I did what I had to do and I will live with the consequences. Next time you come, can you bring some blueberry muffins?

Lisbon: Listen, we've got a serious problem.

Jane: Yeah, I was really looking forward to a muffin.

Lisbon: So what did you do? Honestly.

Jane: He had a gun.

Lisbon: No. I mean how did you raise the bail money?

Jane: Oh. That. Murder for hire. Killed a snitch. Stabbed him in the kidneys.

Lisbon: You did not.

Jane: I did not. I won it in a card game, but I had you for a moment. You really do fear for my sanity.

Lisbon: No... What do we do now?

Jane: Well, first, eggs. Then we go see Sally Carter.

Lisbon: I have a bad feeling about this.

Jane: Well you've been shot. You're bound to have a gloomy outlook. Ignore your feelings.

Lisbon: So, what now?

Jane: Now? Well, tea would hit the spot.

Lisbon: No. I mean what now. What you've done, what you've set out to do. You got your vengeance. Do you feel different? Feel better?

Jane: No. I feel guilty.

Lisbon: Guilty? Why?

Jane: For deceiving the jury. I mean, I had no choice. Going to prison for murder would have been a victory for Red John.

Lisbon: What do you mean? Red John's dead.

Jane: Timothy Carter's dead. He was an evil man, but he wasn't Red John. Red John is still alive. Watch the road.

Little Red Book [4.02]

Lisbon: My God. Why are you doing this? You were okay. All you had to do was keep your heads down.

Van Pelt: We want to work for you.

Lisbon: Let me talk to Jane alone. [Van Pelt, Cho and Rigsby leave] I could kill you with my bare hands.

Jane: Well, it's not the first time. Come on. You don't have a choice. You do nothing they get fired. You work with me they keep their jobs. You might even get yours back.

Lisbon: Fine, but it's just you and me. They don't do anything else. What's the plan?

Jane: The plan is: we catch the killer. It's kind of obvious.

Lisbon: How'd you do it? Get Bertram to come around?

Jane: Oh it wasn't so hard. A rational discussion between two reasonable men.

Lisbon: [smiles knowingly] Rational discussion. I bet.

Jane: Mhmm. But, by all means, go ahead.

Lisbon: Excuse me?

Jane: Say it. I won't get embarrassed.

Lisbon: Say what? Oh! You mean say thank you?

Jane: Oh! You're welcome. Was it so hard?

Lisbon: The thing is, not dealing with you every day has been very restful for me. My back pain is gone. I sleep really well. I'm not so sure I'm grateful to be back.

Jane: You're a terrible liar. Good, honest people are always bad liars.

Lisbon: Which makes you what?

Pretty Red Balloon [4.03]

Lisbon: Cheer up.

Jane: Oh, I'm cheery.

Lisbon: You heard her. You gave her hope.

Jane: I didn't give her hope. I sold her hope.

Lisbon: I think hope is worth it at any price.

Jane: Are you running for office now?

Lisbon: Okay, you know what? You're a wicked charlatan and you're going to hell then.

Jane: That's more like it. I'll save you a seat by the fire.

Lisbon: Oh, I'm not going to hell.

Jane: You're not?

Lisbon: Nope.

Jane: You've made other arrangements, huh?

Lisbon: Mm-hmm.

Ring Around the Rosie [4.04]

Linda Tibbs: I already told you I'm not getting involved.

Rigsby: We're not asking you to, ma'am. We just need you to cooperate.

Linda Tibbs: It doesn't matter what you need! I don't trust you and I'm not going to help!

Van Pelt: If you quit now you're going to miss the best part: payback.

Linda Tibbs: What are you talking about?

Van Pelt: A few months ago I had a fiance. He tried to kill me.

Linda Tibbs: You're lying.

Van Pelt: Look, everybody thought he was the greatest guy, including me. Then he pulled a gun on me.

Linda Tibbs: What did you do?

Van Pelt: I shot him.

Rigsby: Dead.

Cho: [To Tibbs] Hey. How you doing. You're under arrest, for the attempted murder of...everybody.

Wainwright: You know that psychopathy test I gave Tibbs? I figured out why it didn't work. See, it's a rating scale based on observation, so the more time you spend with the subject the more accurately you can then observe their behavioral traits, and guess what I've been doing?

Jane: [smiles] Oh, you haven't.

Wainwright: Glibness and superficial charm. Check.

Jane: You flatter me.

Wainwright: Grandiose sense of self worth. You betcha. Cunning and manipulative. Poor behavior controls. Failure to accept responsibility for actions. So I cross-referenced all of my observations with your history as a thief and conartist and, uh, congratulations, Jane. According to the score you are a clinical psychopath.

Jane: Wow. Well, that certainly explains a lot.

Wainwright: Now I know what I'm dealing with, so I'll adjust accordingly.

Jane: [smiles] As you should.

Lisbon: Everything all right?

Jane: Yeah. I like our new boss. I think we'll work very well together. Would you like some tea?

Lisbon: I'm tired. I'm going to go home.

Jane: I made a pot.

Lisbon: All right. I'll take one to go.

Jane: I heard you got your man.

Lisbon: As did you. Nice work.

Jane: Do you think I'm an anti-social personality?

Lisbon: Yeah, sure. Who isn't?

Blood and Sand [4.05]

Jane: Beautiful, isn't it?

Lisbon: For a crime scene, yeah.

Rigsby: Listen, about before at the office with Sarah. I just --

Van Pelt: Oh, yeah. Congratulations. She seems nice.

Rigsby: Yeah. I just don't want it to be awkward between --

Van Pelt: [laughs] With me? That's the least of your problems.

Rigsby: What does that mean?

Van Pelt: Well, she's a public defender. I mean, good luck, but be careful.

Where in the World is Carmine O'Brien [4.06]

Van Pelt: Lisbon's niece; sharp girl.

Rigsby: I guess.

Van Pelt: Good questions.

Rigsby: Yeah.

Van Pelt: Do you love her?

Rigsby: Annabell?

Van Pelt: Your girlfriend Sarah.

Rigsby: Oh, right.

Van Pelt: So?

Rigsby: I guess I don't see why it matters if I love her or not.

Van Pelt: Uh oh.

Rigsby: Look, we have a good time together. We enjoy each other's company. I look forward to seeing her. Isn't that enough? Why worry about it?

Van Pelt: Trust me, she's worrying about it.

Rigsby: I just think if you start talking like that you're going to get hurt. I'm not sure I even know what that means? I love you? I mean, what does that say, really?

Van Pelt: I don't know, Wayne. My last relationship didn't exactly end well. I'm probably not the best person to ask right now.

Rigsby: Fair enough.

Blinking Red Light [4.07]

James Panzer: Congratulations, by the way.

Jane: Thank you. For what?

James Panzer: You killed Red John.

Jane: Oh, that. Yes.

James Panzer: What was that like?

Jane: Not as satisfying as you might think.

Pink Tops [4.08]

Jane: Disappointing, Lisbon. I thought you might push back a little. The guy called me a circus act.

Lisbon: Hey, the man is grieving. You push back.

Jane: Okay, I will.

Lisbon: [stops him by placing her hand on his chest] Don't you dare.

Jane: You said that I could.

Lisbon: I take it back.

The Redshirt [4.09]

Doc Dugan: Your own funeral, that's when you hear the truth, what people really think of you. [speaking of his girlfriend] The woman worships me. Would you like to find out why?

Van Pelt: No, thanks.

Doc Dugan: Are you sure?

Van Pelt: Tempting, really, but I shot and killed my last boyfriend. I'm not ready for a relationship yet.

Doc Dugan: Okay. Raincheck.

Rigsby: Okay, who has Chinese food for breakfast?

Sarah Harrigan: Chinese people and me. Okay, interrogation time. Agent Rigsby, do you consider yourself an expert on motorcycle gangs?

Rigsby: Yes.

Sarah: No, don't say yes. Say yes. You want to project confidence and the jury's going to believe you.

Rigsby: Yes, ma'am. [leans in and gives Sarah a kiss]

Sarah: Stop trying to distract me, and does this expertise, in fact, come from years of close contact with a criminal element in your own family?

Rigsby: Hey.

Sarah: Don't say hey, just answer the question.

Rigsby: No, it doesn't.

Sarah: Isn't it true your father, Steven Rigsby, was a member of the Iron Gods motorcycle gang and a convicted felon?

Rigsby: Yes.

Sarah: So wouldn't it be fair to say that everything you learned you know from your father the felon? Babe, I know it's touchy, but if you wait too long to answer --

Rigsby: Okay. That's enough. Thanks for your help. Gotta get to court.

Sarah: Wayne.

Rigsby: Seriously, that was a big help. Thank you. [walks away]

Lisbon: Hey.

Jane: All good?

Lisbon: Yeah. Doc seemed like a changed man.

Jane: He's had a perspective few of us ever get. It's energizing, I'd expect.

Lisbon: Would you want that? To hear what people say about you when you're dead?

Jane: When I am dead they can burn me in effigy or build a statue or forget about me completely. I couldn't care less.

Lisbon: You don't mean that. Everybody wants to be remembered.

Jane: Childish vanity.

Lisbon: I want to be remembered.

Jane: And you shall be; fondly, but you won't care about it because when you're dead you're dead, and until then, [a waiter sets down a hot fudge sundae between them] there's ice cream.

Lisbon: So good.

Pattrick Jane: The truth hurts, I know. It's biologically based actually. Our brains process sound faster than they do light, but light moves faster than sound. So the brain is constantly shifting reality so the world syncs up.

Doc Dugan: What does that have to do with anything?

Patrick Jane: This. Only when someone is standing 30 yards away do we see and hear the world exactly as it is. That's when your brain, sound and light are all in perfect harmony.

Doc Dugan: So?

Patrick Jane: The rest of the time we are living in a world of lies. Lies are what make the world make sense. Ergo, the truth hurts.

Fugue In Red [4.10]

Lisbon: Jane? How are you feeling?

Jane: Excellent, I think.

Lisbon: It's good to see you breathing.

Jane: It's good to see you period.

Lisbon: We are doing everything we can to find your attacker. You didn't happen to see a face, did you?

Jane: No... Not that I can remember.

Lisbon: What's the last thing you do remember?

Jane: [beckoning her closer] Are we sleeping together?

Lisbon: Excuse me?! [backs off quickly.]

Jane: Well, you're a cop, that's obvious. But you're not judging me like a suspect, and I can't see any other reason for a police officer to come to my bed side [laughs], unless we're sleeping together.

Lisbon: You don't ... know who I am.

Jane: Please don't take it personally, I'm sure you're quite memorable. I just... I've been through a lot, apparently.

Lisbon: No. We are not sleeping together.

Jane: We're working toward it, right? So I haven't missed anything. [She looks lost.] So, what's your name?

Lisbon: [smiles] Are you putting me on?

Jane: I wish I was.

Lisbon: I'm Teresa Lisbon, I'm with the CBI. I'm a homicide detective. You're my consultant.

Jane: I catch bad guys, well that sounds like fun! I always wanted to put my psychic gifts against criminals.

Lisbon: You're not... a psychic.

Jane: Okay. Your armed robber - desperate amateur. Why work alone? Because he doesn't know any other criminals. The lucha libre mask projects the correct attitude, but look - look what he is wearing. Khakis and a fitted sweater.

Lisbon: Jane—

Jane: No wonder the guard tried to shoot him. The closest a man should ever come to touching a fitted sweater is helping a woman out of one.

Rigsby: [Y]ou're still good at sussing out guilty parties.

Jane: Huh. How do I do that, exactly?

Rigsby: Ah, it's hard to say. Causing trouble, mostly.

Jane: Well, in that case, Wayne, what's the best way in with the luscious redhead?

Rigsby: Van Pelt?

Jane: Well, clearly you two had a thing, and she dumped you, but maybe you can share a tip on how to open the cookie jar, you know? Get some, uh... tasty ginger snaps?

Rigsby: You want a tip? Back off.

Jane: We both cheated death! That's remarkable. We should get T-shirts made up!

Lisbon: Is anything coming back to you?

Jane: Kids prefer cheese over fried green spinach.

Lisbon: [laughs] Come again?

Jane: It's an acronym for the seven levels of taxonomy: kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.

Lisbon: Impressive.

Jane: I can also name the geological time periods, the worlds longest rivers by size, and the complete works of Shakespeare in chronological order.

Lisbon: So the memory palace is intact?

Jane: I told you about the memory palace?

Lisbon: We're friends.

Cho: This is my fault. I'm the one he conned. I should know better.

Lisbon: So should I. I'm the one who got him out of the hospital. We were all marks today.

Van Pelt: Not me. What? He didn't con me.

Rigsby: Only because he wants to have a date with you.

Van Pelt: [smiles] Really?

Cho: Don't take this the wrong way, but the death of Jane's family made him a better person.

Lisbon: That person was always inside of him. The murder just brought it out.

[Lisbon and Van Pelt confront Jane at the bar where he has been performing "psychic" readings]

Lisbon: You said at the hospital you were dying to help. This is NOT helping.

Jane: I am. I'm investigating. I felt bad about the fish stunt I pulled on these boys, so, uh, I decided to take the B shift out for a night on the town, you know, get to know 'em, make sure they're all innocent of murder.

Lisbon: Are they?

Jane: They're the best of the best! [Jane toasts the firefighters]

firefighters: Yeah! You're the man, Paddy! [they toast him back]

Jane: Thank you! Cheers!

firefighters: Cheers. [to Lisbon and Van Pelt] Oh, by the way, he got the last round. Could you thank him for me?

Lisbon: [with a strained laugh] We're going back to the hospital now.

Jane: I'm gonna take a rain check on that. I got another show later. You should stick around. I'm best with the late crowd.

Lisbon: Are you gonna make me call backup to get you out of this bar? Because I will do that, "Paddy."

Lisbon: See you in the morning.

Jane: Uh, no. Actually, put a fork in it. I'm done. No more police work.

Lisbon: I understand. You can stay in the hospital until you get your memory back.

Jane: What if I don't get it back? I talked to my paramedic friends. They told me that all I need to be released from this hospital is the signature from a responsible adult, and [pulls several phone numbers out of his pockets] I got some pretty tasty offers tonight! [chuckling] I'm telling you, this wedding ring—!

Jane: My parting gift I will give to you tomorrow morning. Good night.

[Lisbon sits down in Jane's hospital room chair]

Jane: [from bed] There's room up here.

[showing Jane the face Red John drew in Jane's daughter's room, which causes his memory to return]

Lisbon: I'm sorry.

Always Bet on Red [4.11]

Lisbon: Don't you think it's time to tell the truth about Red John?

Jane: Well the truth is, I killed Red John. You can ask anyone. It was on the news, Lisbon.

Lisbon: But you think he's alive.

Jane: I told you that. You, Lisbon. Nobody else. It's better that way.

Lisbon: Then why make him reemerge? You manipulated Panzer into insulting Red John so Red John would kill him.

Jane: I didn't know how else to stop Panzer. He would have just kept on killing.

Jane: I've got a lot to do, so have a nice day.

Lisbon: Jane?

Jane: Yes?

Lisbon: Is there something you want to tell me?

Jane: Deniability, Lisbon. Deniability: your best friend.

FBI Agent Susan Darcy: Did it change you, Patrick? Hunting a monster?

Jane: Of course. Be well, Susan.

Lisbon: It has changed you, you know.

Jane: Darcy's off the case, Lisbon. She's safe.

Lisbon: And what about you? How's Red John going to feel when he finds out you spoiled his fun with Agent Darcy?

My Bloody Valentine [4.12]

Van Pelt: [having sustained a head wound, talking to a hallucination of O'Laughlin] Did you love me?

O'Laughlin: Of course I loved you.

Van Pelt: Then why did you try to kill me?

O'Laughlin: I had to make a choice between you and Red John. We all have to make hard choices, Grace, but that doesn't make me evil.

Van Pelt: [scoffs] It kind of does.

O'Laughlin: Grace.

Van Pelt: I was just too stupid to see it.

O'Laughlin: Oh, no. You saw it.

Van Pelt: No, I didn't.

O'Laughlin: Not all of it, but you knew there was something. Something a little dangerous under the nice-guy stuff. You kind of liked it. You can't open your eyes a little bit, Grace. You've got to open them all the way if you want to see the truth of things.

Van Pelt: What are you talking about? Why are you doing this to me?

O'Laughlin: How should I know? I'm just a figment of your imagination.

Van Pelt: Jane?

Jane: Mm-hmm?

Van Pelt: I'm sorry to ask this, but... do you ever talk to your wife?

Jane: Yes, sometimes.

Van Pelt: Do you ever see her?

Jane: No. Never.

Van Pelt: If you did see her, would you think you were crazy?

Jane: Craig came to see you, didn't he?

Van Pelt: Yeah.

Jane: What did he want?

Van Pelt: I don't know. This will sound really weird, but he kind of saved my life.

Jane: Figuratively speaking, I hope.

Van Pelt: Yes. I mean, he wasn't really there, but—

Jane: Now you can't decide what to do with the necklace he gave you because it reminds you of the past. Maybe you could try to forget it, or you can learn to live with it.

Van Pelt: Well?

Jane: Well what?

Van Pelt: What do you think I should do? Keep it, or get rid of it?

Jane: Well, I think that's your call, Grace, don't you?

Red Is The New Black [4.13]

Lisbon: I have to be back here right after lunch.

Jane: Oh?

Lisbon: Management meeting.

Jane: Wainwright. He has too much time on his hands. [dials a number on his phone] Agent Wainwright. Patrick Jane. Hi, I just wanted to let you know that Agent Lisbon is needed urgently in the field, and as important as your seminar is, she's not going to be able to attend. Okay. Thank you. Bye bye. He said he's fine. See? Simple as that.

Lisbon: Thanks. Did it ever occur to you that I might actually want to go to the meeting.

Jane: No, it didn't. Do you?

Lisbon: No, but it's the principle.

Van Pelt: Wayne, you're reading a baby book.

Rigsby: [closes the book] Yeah, I am.

Van Pelt: Why?

Rigsby: I -- yes. I'm pregnant. Sarah's pregnant. I'm having a baby.

Van Pelt: Oh my God. Yikes. I mean, sorry. It surprised me. [smiles] Congratulations.

Rigsby: No, it surprised me too. Still is, actually. Hard for me to believe sometimes.

Van Pelt: Are you okay?

Rigsby: Yeah. Babies are good, right? Always wanted to have kids, it's just a little earlier than I expected.

Van Pelt: So are you and Sarah getting married?

Rigsby: Oh, no. Nothing like that. Wouldn't want to rush into anything, right? We haven't even been dating that long.

Van Pelt: If you need anything you can ask. You know that, right?

Rigsby: Yeah. You should get going, though.

Van Pelt: Yeah. [moves to walk away, but stops and turns] Wayne? The kid is lucky. You're going to make a great dad.

Rigsby: Yeah? You think?

Van Pelt: [smiles] I know it.

Lisbon: You're losing your touch. You didn't know it was her.

Jane: Don't be ridiculous. The trick worked exactly as I intended. It didn't matter which one I thought it was. That's how a good trick works.

Lisbon: [smiles] You would say that, wouldn't you?

At First Blush [4.14]

Lisbon: That is the third time this year you've been reprimanded in court.

Jane: I bent a spoon with my mind. What's the big deal?

Lisbon: You were testifying in a criminal case. You can't be playing tricks!

Jane: It's all theater, isn't it? Bread and circuses?

[a mob of reporters run toward the courthouse steps behind them]

Jane: See?

Lisbon: Okay, we keep working.

Jane: We should talk to Eve again.

Lisbon: Maybe she knows what was going on with Murphy.

Jane: Maybe.

Lisbon: Fine. You're the boss on this one.

Jane: Okay, don't be like that.

Lisbon: Like what? It's what you want!

Jane: What I want is a little smile.

Lisbon: Well you can't have everything.

War of Roses [4.15]

Patrick: [On the phone] Okay. Thank you. Bye. [Hangs up] Richard Aldridge will be speaking with one of my colleagues first thing tomorrow morning.

Erica: We make a good team, don’t we?

Patrick: You said you had a question.

Erica: Oh yes, that. Would you hate me if I told you I was lying? It’s just these days I don’t get to spend much time alone with charming men.

Patrick: Well, the reason for that - so you don’t kill them.

Erica: We all have our baggage. I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past few months. I often wonder how things would be had we met under different circumstances.

Patrick: Thinking about what might have been will drive you crazy.

Erica: Much better to think about what will happen in the future.

Patrick: Erica...

Erica: I like you, Patrick. I hope my directness doesn’t make you uncomfortable.

Patrick: I know what you’re doing.

Erica: What am I doing?

Patrick: Seducing me to conceal your true purpose. Which is to escape.

Erica: Am I? Seducing you?

Patrick: No.

Erica: I’m not trying to escape, Patrick. In fact, you don’t actually believe I am.

Patrick: No?

Erica: No. Those agents outside the door aren’t to keep me from escaping. They’re to keep you and I apart. I know you have feelings for me. This whole escape nonsense is just your way of avoiding those feelings.

Patrick: No, actually I'm fairly concerned you might try to escape.

Erica: Then ask yourself this. If those agents weren’t outside the door right now, what would you do? What will you do?

[She moves in, and slowly they kiss]

His Thoughts were Red Thoughts [4.16]

Bret Stiles: Farragut was a dreamer. Dreamers are useful in their way, but we don't live in dreams, do we? We live in the here and the now.

Van Pelt: Did you kill him?

Stiles: You've killed, haven't you; someone who mattered to you, who hurt you. Did you enjoy it?

Van Pelt: No.

Stiles: Really? I'm told it gives the feeling of great perspective, like waking from a dream.

Van Pelt: It changes you.

Stiles: Did you friends notice?

Van Pelt: A little, but I think it freaks them out.

Stiles: Of course. They don't have the imagination or the vocabulary to converse with you about it. You know, you're like a little bird that fell out of the nest, but you don't need the nest. You need to fly, and that I can teach you.

Stiles: Well, I've done my good deed for the day. If there's nothing else, I'll be getting along.

Lisbon: Just a few more questions.

Stiles: Well, uh, could we do it on the walk? I've got to get back to running my religion.

Jane: Yes, your flock won't fleece itself.

Lisbon: Did you come here to gloat?

Jane: No. I can gloat from a distance.

Stiles: [after having watched the confession of a murderer] Thank you for letting me watch this.

Van Pelt: No problem. Visualizing my anger works really well. I'm just returning the favor.

Stiles: There's so much more that I could teach you.

Van Pelt: Really?

Stiles: To be free of doubt, anger, fear. Let me show you the world as you've never seen it. Let me show you you as you've never seen yourself.

Van Pelt: Great sales pitch, but I'm sort of over bad boys these days. [kisses his cheek] Thanks anyway. [walks away]

Cheap Burgundy [4.17]

Jane: I missed you.

Lisbon: [smiles] I missed you too.

Ruddy Cheeks [4.18]

[Rigsby and Van Pelt get out of an elevator with a woman holding a screaming baby]

Van Pelt: You ready to be a daddy? That's gonna be you soon.

Rigsby: Oh no, I can cry much louder than that.

Lisbon: [on seeing Braddock's house] Looks like somebody's in for a big inheritance.

Jane: Mm, I suppose, if you go for that sort of thing.

Lisbon: You mean money?

Jane: I'll take health any day. Once the game's over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.

Pink Champagne on Ice [4.19]

Something Rotten in Redmund [4.20]

Lisbon: What did you do?

Jane: Nothing.

Lisbon: Eleven years in Catholic school and I never got sent to the principal's office once.

Jane: Well, that's because you're a boring, goody two shoes.

Lisbon: I didn't say I never did anything bad, I just never got caught.

Jane: [smiles] Touché.

Van Pelt: We've watched sixty hours of this footage. I think it's a dead end.

Jane: Patience, grasshopper.

Van Pelt: I am being patient.

Jane: There! Back that up. Can you grow that? Can you biggify it?

Van Pelt: [smiles] I can do a digital zoom.

Van Pelt: Hey, how did you know Billy was having an affair with the teacher?

Jane: They both had leaves on them from their make-out spot in the woods.

Van Pelt: And?

Jane: Plus, I could tell she liked him. She was meaner to him than the other kids. You know, like Lisbon is to me.

Lisbon: Shut up!

Jane: See?

Ruby Slippers [4.21]

Jane: I have to go.

Lisbon: Where?

Jane: I just had a thoughtless impulse or an inspired hunch. I'm not sure which. I'll let you know.

Lisbon: Well, Glenda's prints don't match any of the prints at the crime scene, and I did background checks on the drag queens. None of them stand out.

Jane: Don't let them hear you say that.

Jane: Is that a tear I see?

Lisbon: Yeah, right. Just keep watching.

So Long, and Thanks for All the Red Snapper [4.22]

Greg: Honey, this is, uh, Teresa Lisbon.

Greta: This is Teresa Lisbon? The Teresa Lisbon?

Jane: The one and only.

[Greg's daughter Lauren runs out of the room]

Lisbon: Wow. How many do you have?

Greg: Uh, we got Lauren, Maddy, and Sally.

Jane: [whistles] Wow. Breeder.

Jane: Well, Greg seems very nice.

Lisbon: I am not discussing this with you.

Jane: Nice, solid, dependable. I can see why you dumped him.

Lisbon: I mean it, Jane.

Jane: All right.

Lisbon: Seriously.

Jane: All right.

Lisbon: (beat) I didn't dump him. We both decided to take a break.

Jane: The old "let's take a break."

Lisbon: So, why didn't you let me in on your brilliant plan?

Jane: Oh, you were very busy with Greg.

Lisbon: I am never too busy to solve a murder.

Jane: Well, you seemed to be very busy with Greg.

Jane: Don't be wistful, Lisbon. Greg was never the right man for you.

Lisbon: I'm not wistful! And no, he wasn't.

Jane: You're far too intense and particular for a man like that.

Lisbon: Excuse me? Intense and particular? What is that supposed to mean?

Jane: Well, they're good things.

Lisbon: In what ways am I intense and particular?

Jane: Oh, please.

Lisbon: Tell me.

Jane: Well, what ever happened to that guy from narcotics?

Lisbon: Jeff?

Jane: Jeff.

Lisbon: Oh, he bit his nails.

Jane: See, that's particular.

Lisbon: That is not being particular, it's a disgusting habit!

Jane: There's intense.

Red Rover, Red Rover [4.23]

The Crimson Hat [4.24]

Lorelei: I do what Red John tells me to do.

Jane: What?

Lorelei: Your freedom, our night together. That was a gift from him. You can harm me if you'd like.

Jane: No, I don't wanna hurt you. I've given up, he knows that. What does he want from me?

Lorelei: He doesn't want anything from you. After all these years, he's coming to see you as an old comrade rather than an enemy. He hopes you'll come to feel the same way.

Jane: A comrade.

Lorelei: Patrick, look at yourself. You need a new life. He can give that to you.

Jane: You have to leave.

Lorelei: He's offering the hand of friendship, if you refuse him, he'll be upset. Anyone would-

Jane: Get out.

Lorelei: You know where to find me.

Jane: This is God! What is it now?

Lisbon: You scared the life out of me.

Jane: I crawled all the way on my hands in these from that door, but was worth it.

Lisbon: What are you doing here?

Jane: It's good to see you! How have you been?

Lisbon: Worried sick, that's how I've been! And then you pop in here like you're some sort of a lunatic playing games and asking me how I've been?!

Jane: Just-

Lisbon: Shame on you.

Jane: Just stay calm, ok? It's important no one sees us together.

Lisbon: Why not?

Jane: I'm faking my breakdown. It's a boost to trap Red John.

Lisbon: You son of a bitch! You. Son. Of a bitch!

Jane: Ok, we are in a church.

Jane: Fooled you, I could fool him.

Lisbon: Yeah, you fooled me. Alright, well done.

Jane: Yeah... Well, I'm sorry.

Lisbon: I tried calling. I tried calling you hundreds of times, begging you to talk to me, begging you to get help. Not a reply, not a word, not a text.

Jane: Sorry.

Lisbon: You know what? I've not been sleeping, I have not- Forget it, never mind. You know, you're a jerk. And your plan, it's not even a plan.

Jane: But you will help me?

Lisbon: What am I supposed to say? No? God, you're despicable!

Lorelei: And you'll need to bring him a gift. To show your respect for him.

Jane: What kind of gift?

Lorelei: Teresa Lisbon's dead body would be the perfect thing.

Jane: Good luck, Teresa. Love you.

Lisbon: So that thing you said before you shot me... What did you mean?

Jane: ...What did I say? I was kinda hyped up.