The Mummy Returns

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"My dad is going to kick your arse."
"Hmm. I do not think so."
Whatever it is, whatever you want, O'Connell, I don't care! Every time I hook up with you, I get shot! Last time I got shot in the arse. I'm in mourning for my arse!
Knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him. But this is my house, and I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.
"Woah! That was amazing! Perfect aim!"
"What are you talking about? I missed."

The Mummy Returns is a 2001 sequel to The Mummy film, in which the mummified body of Imhotep is shipped to a museum in London, where he wakes once again and resumes his quest for absolute power.

Directed by Stephen Sommers. Written by Stephen Sommers

Ardeth Bay

  • [narrating] Five thousand years ago, a fierce warrior known as the Scorpion King led a great army on a campaign to conquer the known world. After a vicious campaign that lasted seven long years, the Scorpion King and his army were defeated and driven deep into the sacred desert of Ahm Shere. One by one, they slowly perished under the scorching sun...until only the great warrior himself was left alive. Near death, the Scorpion King made a pact with the dark god Anubis, that if Anubis would spare his life and let him conquer his enemies, he would give him his soul. Anubis accepted his offer and spared his life. Anubis gave the Scorpion King command of his army, and like an evil flood, they washed away all that lay before them. When his task was done, Anubis forced the Scorpion King to serve him for all time. His army was returned to the sands from whence they came...where they wait, silently, to be awakened once again.

Richard "Rick" O'Connell

  • [to Lock-Nah and his assassins] Knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him. But this is my house, and I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.

Izzy

  • Whatever it is, whatever you want, O'Connell, I don't care! Every time I hook up with you, I get shot! Last time I got shot in the arse. I'm in mourning for my arse!

Dialogue

Ardeth Bay: [to Alex] My son, by putting on the bracelet, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse!
Rick: [to Ardeth] You, lighten up. [to Alex] You, big trouble! [to Jonathan] You, get in the car.

Alex: Hey. The Book of the Dead.
Meela: What a bright little child. Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you wish to see her again, you better behave.
Alex: Lady, I don't behave for my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?
Lock-Nah: (threatening Alex) Silence!
Meela: Because your parents wouldn't slip poisonous snakes in your bed... while you're sleeping.

Imhotep: [in Egyptian] I know you can understand me, little one. So you must listen carefully because [in English] it is you who are the chosen one. You who will take me to Ahm-Shere.
Alex: What if I don't? What if I get a little...lost?
Imhotep: [laughs] You are a strange little one. You are your father's son. But I know something you don't. This bracelet is a gift and a curse. The sands of time have already begun to pour against you.
Alex: Yeah, yeah. I already heard this part. From the minute I put the bracelet on, seven days do I have before the Scorpion King wakes up.
Imhotep: Did you also hear that if you do not enter the pyramid before the sun strikes it on that very morning that the bracelet will suck the life out of you?
Alex: [shocked] That part I missed. Hey, wait a minute, that means I only have five days left!
Imhotep: And I believe it would be nice trying not to get lost, don’t you?
Alex: My dad is going to kick your arse!
Imhotep: Hmm. [takes off his mask, smirking; Alex gasps and steps back] I do not think so.

[seeing Rick's tattoo]
Ardeth Bay: If I were to say to you that, "I am a stranger traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost"...
Rick: ... Then I would reply that, "I am a stranger traveling from the West, it is I whom you seek." How did you...?
Ardeth Bay: Then it is true. You have the sacred mark.
Rick: What, that? No, that got slapped on me when I was in an orphanage in Cairo.
Ardeth Bay: That mark means you are a protector of man. A warrior for God. A Medjai.
Rick: Sorry. You've got the wrong guy.

[Jonathan pulls up in a double Decker bus]
Rick: [confused] What's the matter with my car?
Jonathan: I was forced to find an alternative means of transportation--
Rick: A DOUBLE-DECKER BUS?!?!
Jonathan: Well, [points at Alex] it was his idea!
Alex: Was not!
Jonathan: Was too!
Alex: Was not!
Rick: JUST GO!
Jonathan: Was too!
Alex: Was NOT!
Jonathan: Oh, jeez...
[Bus pulls away with mummies chasing behind; they climb over Rick's car and destroy it in the process]
Rick: No, no, not my car! [menacingly] Oh, I hate mummies!

[Izzy sees Rick, looks scared, and locks the door]
Rick: Hey!
Evie: He definitely remembers you.
Rick: He's a little shy. [to Jonathan] Jonathan, get our bags.
Jonathan: [holding Scepter of Osiris] Oh, my hands are full.
Rick: [takes Scepter] Now.
Jonathan: Right, right, I'll get the bags.
Rick: I'll deal with the flight details. [shoots the lock on the door]
Evie: Honey, you're not a subtle man.
Rick: [looks at her] We don't have time for subtle. [kicks the door in]

[aboard a train controlled by Imhotep and his men]
Alex: [bored] Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: [also bored] No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: [visibly annoyed] No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: [Getting angrier] No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No!
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No!
(Lock-Nah slams his knife into the table between Alex's fingers)
Alex: Whoa! That was amazing! Perfect aim!
Lock-Nah: What are you talking about? [pulls the knife out of the table] I missed.

Rick: Right, she's a reincarnated princess and I'm a warrior for God?
Ardeth Bay: And your son leads the way to Ahm Shere. Three sides of the pyramid. This was all preordained thousands of years ago.
Evelyn: But how does the story end?
Ardeth Bay: Only the journey is written, not the destination.
Rick: Convenient.

About The Mummy Returns

  • "We worked with a guy called Dr. Stuart Smith from UCLA and he’s an Egyptologist. He put all this stuff on tape for us and it’s kind of the closest we can come to what we think the actual language sounded like. It’s like ancient Latin. When we speak Latin now we think it’s what it sounded like, but we’re not really sure. The problem with a lot of this Egyptian stuff is words like ‘look out’ become like 10 lines. Steve would go, ‘No, no, no. Lose the first four words. Say that word and then say the last word.’ So basically, I’d end up making the stuff up.

Taglines

  • Adventure is reborn.
  • He will rise again.
  • The most powerful force on Earth is about to be unleashed... by the two people who should know better.

Cast

External links

Wikipedia
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