The Santa Clauses

The Santa Clauses is an American Christmas comedy television series created by Jack Burditt and based on The Santa Clause film series, which premiered on Disney+ on November 16, 2022. It serves as a sequel to The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006).

Season 1

Chapter Two: The Secessus Clause

Marie: Lemonade just the way you like it: no lemon, extra sugar.

Scott: My favorite daughter-in-law. Although, I'd probably say that to anybody bring me this right about now. [drinks his lemonade] Okay. Here's why I'm here. I am retiring, and I want you to take over the family business just like you always wanted to.

Charlie: Uh, wow. Uh, retirement. I didn't even know you could do that. Good for you. This is gigantic news, right?

Marie: Yes.

Charlie: I mean, I don't really know what to say.

Marie: No. Say no. Sorry, Scott. I have a career here. I'm not moving to Greenland to catch and sell shrimp.

Scott: Can I have a moment with Charlie? Privately. Just one moment.

Charlie: Yeah, babe, just give us a sec.

Marie: Nope, uh-uh.

Charlie: Just one sec.

Marie: 'Cause you'll do everything for him.

Charlie: Just—

Marie: I'm not raising my kids on a trawler. Smelly, damp, swearing sea children. And what about me? I get seasick standing on the beach. No, no! The answer's no! [walks out]

Scott: Huh. You haven't told her. I can't believe you haven't told her.

Charlie: I've been waiting to find the right moment, but there's not really a good moment to say, "My dad's Santa Claus".

Scott: Now's a pretty good moment, otherwise she'll be at the North Pole and wonder why people are calling her Mrs. Claus.

Charlie: About that, Dad. Look, I love you and I cherish all the time we had in the sleigh together, but it's just asking a lot.

Scott: Is this because of Marie? I mean, come on. She'll warm up to it. Not literally—

Charlie: It's not that, Dad. Okay, it's—it's the North Pole. It’s just—it's not the best place to raise kids.

Scott: Oh, stop. North Pole is like a circus mixed with a zoo and playground on top of Tilt-A-Whirl.

Charlie: That's my point.

Scott: What?

Charlie: It's just too much.

Scott: Cal and Sandra are okay.

Charlie: Are they though? You do know that I've spent time with them, right? And that's not a criticism. I mean, you're a great father. It's the job, though. It’s just—it's not conducive to being an engaged parent.

Scott: Hmm. I came down here with this dream in my head that we'd work together for a couple years. I'd teach you the ropes, and then you'd take over when I couldn't do it. It was just something I was thinking about.

Charlie: I'm sorry, Dad. Thanks for asking me though. It means the world. [hugs him]

Scott: I love you so much, and I'll be alright. It'll work out.

Marie: [walks back in] Okay. I am starting to think you don't run a shrimp company.

Scott: No, no, no. Do you remember when we first met? We were at that seafood restaurant?

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scott: Someone's eating shrimp next to us, so I thought of shrimp. That's the best I could come up with.

Marie: So you lied, which means you're either in the CIA or the mob.

Scott: No, no, no, no.

Charlie: No, no. That's not—

Scott: Listen, it's actually crazier than that, and Charlie is gonna have a great time explaining it to you after I'm gone because I have a deer to catch. And I already know what the boys want for Christmas next year! [leaves]

Charlie: Thanks, Dad.

Marie: Talk.

Cast

Main

• Tim Allen - Santa Claus/Scott Calvin
• Elizabeth Mitchell - Mrs. Claus/Carol Calvin
• Austin Kane - Buddy "Cal" Calvin-Claus
• Elizabeth Allen-Dick - Sandra Calvin-Claus
• Matilda Lawler - Betty (season 1; recurring: season 2)
• Devin Bright - Noel
• Rupali Redd - Grace Choksi (season 1)
• Kal Penn - Simon Choksi (season 1)
• Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias - Kris Moreno / Kris Kringle (season 2)
• Eric Stonestreet - Magnus Antas / The Mad Santa (season 2)

Recurring

• Isabella Bennett - Edie
• Sasha Knight - Crouton
• Izaac Wang - Hugo
• Laura San Giacomo - La Befana
• Liam Kyle - Gary
• Ruby Jay - Riley
• Marta Kessler - Olga (season 2)

Guest stars

• Eric Lloyd - Charlie Calvin
• Peyton Manning - Himself
• David Krumholtz — Bernard
• Mitch Poulos — Saint Nicholas of Myra
• Mauricio Mendoza — Papa Noel / Santa Claus
• Dirk Rogers — Krampus
• Jim O'Heir — Santa Claus XVII
• Casey Wilson — Sara
• Kevin Pollak — Cupid
• Tracy Morgan — the Easter Bunny
  • Jay Thomas (previously)
• Michael Dorn - the Sandman

External links

• The Santa Clauses quotes at the Internet Movie Database