True Blood (season 2)

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True Blood (2008–2014) is a dramatic vampire television show, aired on HBO, created by Alan Ball. It is about the inhabitants of a small Louisiana town and their opinions about vampires, who live in public.

Nothing But the Blood [2.1][edit]

Sam: I don't know about you, but I think I've seen enough dead bodies to last me a life time.
Sookie: Except this one, I just don't get. With everyone Rene killed, you could see his rage. But this?...Cuttin' out that poor woman's heart? Someone just wanted to see her suffer! Every time I think I know what's what, it turns out...I don't know anything.

MaryAnn: [to Lettie Mae] Ms. Thornton. MaryAnn Forrester. I've heard all about you. What a rare opportunity this is. I've always wondered what it'd be like to gaze into the eyes of some one so devoid of human compassion. That she would abandoned her own child when she needed you the most.

Bill: [to Jessica] Your bedtime will be at 4 a.m. and not a minute later.
Jessica: Whatever...
Bill: And whilst you're under my roof, hunting is completely forbidden...
Jessica: Like I'd know where to find people in this bumfuck town. Are we even in a town?
Bill: We also recycle in this house. [places a recycling bin and small garbage can in front of Jessica] Tru Blood and other glass items go in the blue container. And paper products go in the white container. [Bill's cell phone rings]
Jessica: Oooh! Can I have one of those?
Bill: No!

Sookie: "Where has she been tonight?"
Bill: "Here with me, and before that with Eric and Pam."
Sookie: "So there's no way she could have anything to do with the woman at Merlotte's with her heart missing?"
Bill: "No!... Probably not."

Sookie: Did you have anything to do with Uncle Bartlett's death?
Bill: [hesitantly] He hurt you.
Sookie: Oh my God. Is it that easy for you to kill? Does human life mean so little, you can just kill on command? Toss someone in the water? I can't have people dyin' every time I confide in you. I never felt more inhuman than when I had to kill Rene. It still haunts me and now you've made me feel like I killed another person. I feel sick... I always thought as different as we are, somehow we can still be together. And now I don't know. I don't know anything... (whispering as she cries) Please say something, Bill. [silently walks to the door]
Bill: [appearing at the door to stop her] Sookie... I cannot and I will not lose you. For all the ways I have dismayed, aggrieved or failed you, I swear I will atone. But I am not sorry. I refuse to apologize for what you have awakened in me. You, you are my miracle, Sookie. For the first time in a hundred and forty years, I felt something I thought had been lost to me forever... I love you. And for that I will never feel sorry.
Sookie: [crying] God damn you, Bill Compton. I love you.

Sookie: [to Bill] I've shared every dark, horrible corner of my life with you. What makes you think I couldn't handle every bit of yours? I'm a lot stronger than you think.

Keep This Party Going [2.2][edit]

Sookie: We've never had 'make up' sex before.
Bill: How does it compare to 'you thought I was dead' sex?
Sookie: That was pretty great too, but I wouldn't want to go through that again. I hated feeling like I'd lost you.
Bill: Yet, you like fightin' me.
Sookie: I don't like to. I just...
Bill: Let's not get too used to it then. We don't want to be one of 'those' couples.
Sookie: You're right.

Chow: [about Lafayette's leg] How much blood do you think he's lost?
Pam: Oh, I still think he has something to offer.
Chow: I hate to let it all go to waste like this. Seems a shame we have to wait for Eric.
Pam: Well, maybe one day you'll be sheriff and you can make the rules.
Chow: I doubt that.
Pam: [happy] Me too.

Sookie: [as she starts to cry] Jessica... I'm sorry.
Jessica: Now, why are you crying?
Sookie: Because I did this to you. If Bill hadn't... I took your life away and I know there's no way you'll ever be able to forgive me. It's not even right to ask. But I had no idea it was gonna lead to this.
Jessica: I don't blame you, Sookie.

Andy: [about dancing] This one time I was in a club in Shreveport and I actually had a woman tell me I looked like a epileptic on meth. Never again!

MaryAnn: [after she forced Sam to change] Abracadabra, Sam. What I just did to you, I can do anytime, anywhere. So unless you want your customers to know your little secret, you better think twice before you threaten me ever again.

Scratches [2.3][edit]

Bill: [to Sookie] Are you still angry about our fight? Sookie, none of that matters anymore.
Sookie: You're right. I'm alive and in one piece. Unlike my friend Lafayette who Eric chained up like an animal and left to bleed to death.
Bill: What?
Sookie: You better not have known anything about this, Bill Compton. Because if you did, I don't think I could ever forgive you!
Bill: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Eric: [behind them] I imagine she's referring to the human in my basement... The human who traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood - which as you know is a grave offense.
Sookie: [to Eric] His name is Lafayette and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for what you've done to him. [slaps him]
Bill: Sookie!
Eric: I'm glad you're feeling better and may I add that color suits you very well. [referring to her red shirt]
Sookie: Go to hell!
Bill: [holding her back] Sookie! Enough!
Sookie: Oh it's not nearly enough. They've tortured him and bitten him and shot him and kept him down there in his own filth for weeks.
Bill: [to Eric] Is this true?
Eric: There are others who would have done far worse and you know it.
Sookie: You're gonna let him go right now or I swear, I'm going to the police.
Eric: [angry, draws his fangs] I do not respond well to threats!... But perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement.

Bill: [to Sookie, about Jessica] You undermined my authority as her maker! You risked those people's safety and your own! If I had not glamoured them with in an inch if their sanity, both our lives would have shattered!
Sookie: I know. I'm sorry!
Bill: You keep sayin' that and I am expected to what? Forget this ever happened?
Sookie: What else do you want me to say? I know when she asked me to take her, I should say no. But all I could think about was Gran and what I would give to see her again.
Bill: That does not give you license to behave like an irresponsible child! She is a loaded gun, Sookie. Not a doll for you to dress up and play with!
[upset, Sookie gets out of the car, slamming the door as she moves away]
Bill: What are you doing?
Sookie: Walking!
Bill: Don't be ridiculous. Bon Temps is nearly 20 miles away!
Sookie: [walking away] I'd rather walk all night then spend another second in that car with you!
Jessica: [to Bill, after he gets back in the car] She wants you to go after her. She wants you to go after her and kiss her and tell her that you love her.
Bill: She will come back, when she calms down... she will come back.

Sookie: [gasping, hurt] Am I dying?
Dr. Ludwig: Yes.
Bill: No! She cannot die! You will save her!
Dr. Ludwig: Back off, vampire. Let me do my job!
Eric: Forgive him. Bill is abnormally attached to this human.
Dr. Ludwig: Well, we don't have a lot of choices. She's been poisoned. You ever heard of Komodo dragons? Their mouths are teeming with bacteria. After one has bitten you it will track you for hours, days just waiting for the toxins to slowly eat away at your nervous system. 'Til you're good and helpless. Then it will devour you alive.
Sookie: I was... scratched by a dragon?
Dr. Ludwig: No, but this poison is similar but way more efficient. I don't think I've seen it before but it's hard to tell without further testing and we don't have that kind of time.

Sookie: I used to get so mad when people judged vampires just for being different. It's like they were judging me too. I told myself their fear was nothing but small mindedness. But maybe that's what I wanted to believe. 'Cause the more open my mind gets, the more evil I see.
Bill: Sookie, most of us, vampire, human or otherwise are capable of both good and evil. Often simultaneously.
Sookie: You can't expect me to believe that Eric is capable of anything good. Not after how he tortured Lafayette.
Bill: I have had worse sheriffs.
Sookie: I don't understand how you can defend him.
Bill: He saved your life.
Sookie: I can still hate him.
Bill: I hate that he maybe putting you in harm's way once again, for his own selfish reasons. And I hate that he has shown you the barbarousness we call justice. If I could glamour it away for you, I would.
Sookie: I'm glad you can't. I'm sick of things sneakin' up on me. Rene and what ever the hell that was that attacked me last night. If I'm never gonna be safe, I'd rather know what to be afraid of.
Bill: Well, after last night I hope that doesn't include me.
Sookie: I know there is evil in you. I know there is and it scares the hell outta me. But you're right. There's goodness in you too and when I look in your eyes, that's what I see.

Tara: Maryann, why does Sam hate you?
Maryann: Sam hates me?
Tara: He practically jumped down my throat after you left last night. Kept saying I need to stay away from you. Why would he say that?
Maryann: Well I mean, I barely know the man. But if I had to guess, I'd say jealousy. You two have a history, don't you?
Tara: Yeah. But we're better as friends than we ever were sleepin' together. We both know that.
Maryann: Tara, you're still not valuing yourself. You are a fantastic woman. Sam lost you. He's just looking for someone to blame.
Tara: But why you?
Maryann: Because you've moved on and hopefully, I've been apart of making that happen. Sam seems like a sensible, wonderful guy. But all my instincts scream unevolved.
Tara: [laughing] You're right. That man has way too many issues.
Maryann: And they're not your problem. Unlike Carl, you've done enough of taking care of people to last a lifetime.

Shake and Fingerpop [2.4][edit]

Tara: [from outside, knocking on the door] I know you're in there, even if you won't pick up the phone!
Lafayette: Damn, hooka. Shit! [gets up and opens the door, letting her in]
Tara: How come I have to hear about you being back from Sookie?
Lafayette: What else did she tell you?
Tara: That you got shot and fed on and chained up in some vampire dungeon!
Lafayette: Sookie need to keep her mouth shut and so do you.
Tara: Have you been to the hospital?
Lafayette: Whatchu think is gonna happen if I show up to the ER with a gun shot wound? I don't need the police up in my business.
Tara: You need to see a doctor.
Lafayette: For what? So they can give me drugs I already got?

Bill: Why this allegiance to Godric?
Eric: He is much beloved by his subjects.
Bill: Only kings and queens have subjects Eric. Not Sheriffs.
Eric: Godric could have been king of Texas had he wanted. He could have been king of any vampire territory anywhere. He is twice as old as I am and very powerful. There are none above him in the new world.
Bill: Well if he's so powerful, how could they abduct him?
Eric: Now that is what worries me. If one such as he can be taken by humans, then none of us are safe.

Sookie: [chasing after Sam] I know it seems like I led you on, but cut me some slack. My grandmother had just been murdered, Rene was after 'me', and I didn't think Bill was ever comin' back.
Sam: [stopping] Christ, Sookie! I really don't have time for this.
Sookie: Well, if you care about our friendship I suggest you make time for it.
Sam: Look, I got serious shit I'm dealin' with right now. Makin' you feel better is not high on my list.

Bill: [after Hoyt leaves] We established there was to be no hunting in this house.
Jessica: I know you feel like shit because you had to make me and you should feel like shit! But guess what? I'd never kissed a boy before that. Meetin' Hoyt is the only good thing that's happened to me since... my whole new life started. No, I'm not ready for any thing to happen to fast. I-I'd been happy just to go on kissin' him all night long... Is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on? [realizes what that means and runs up stairs]
Sookie: I think I'm gonna like her.
Bill: Sookie, do not make the mistake of thinkin' you two can be girlfriends. She is...
Sookie: Yeah, I get it. She's a vampire. Believe me, I learned my lesson about that.

Never Let Me Go [2.5][edit]

Barry: I don't know what kind of fried corn cob town you're from, but this is Dallas, baby. The vamps here are scary as shit.

Barry: Why won't you leave me alone?
Sookie: Because I've never met another telepath. Have you?
Barry: No and don't say that word.
Sookie: It's what you are. Nobody else knows what it's like to be us. We need to stick together. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Barry: Yes it is! My life is shit. I can't do anything normal people do. If I'm not around a bunch of vampires, I can't hardly think straight.
Sookie: I used to feel exactly the same. Like I had a disability.
Barry: More like a curse.
Sookie: But lately since I met my boyfriend, it seems like telepathy can come in handy some times. You can even make a little money.
Barry: Then you're even crazier than I am.

Bill: [waking up as she comes back to bed] I dreamed you were gone.
Sookie: You did?... That's funny, 'cause I was.
Bill: Sookie...
Sookie: It was only for a few minutes. I had to. Bill, it's the most amazin' thing. I met another telepath and he's not a vampire or very good at it. Oh, it's wonderful knowin' there's somebody besides me.
Bill: You made him aware of your gift after everything I've said?
Sookie: Not on purpose. We were in each other's heads before we knew it. I thought you'd be happy for me.
Bill: The more people know what you do, the harder it is for me to protect you.
Sookie: [about Barry] He can't even admit what he is to himself. He's not gonna do any talkin' about it.
Bill: You can't be sure.
Sookie: Yes, I can. I'm good at this. Look, if all we're supposed to do in Dallas is shut up and take orders, I might as well be slingin' beers at Merlotte's. You're the one who told me I was more than a waitress.
Bill: You are. But...
Sookie: What?
Bill: Never mind.
Sookie: Talk to me. Lean on me. I've leaned on you plenty.
Bill: Well, here I am responsible for you and Jessica. Yet no decisions are mine. It makes me feel...
Sookie: Like a human?
Bill: Like a waitress.
Sookie: You're walkin' in my shoes and it's givin' you blisters.
Bill: Eric is strangely intent about all this. It's not like him. I don't trust it.
Sookie: Don't you worry about Eric. We'll do the job and go home. A deal's a deal.
Bill: Sookie, you know what he's like. It's not like him to break a contract with a girl.
Sookie: A woman... he needs me. He won't wanna make me mad.
Bill: ...I can't lose you.
Sookie: You never will.

Tara: [at Sookie’s house] Did you know MaryAnn wants us all to be roommates here?
Eggs: No. Cool. I guess that other guy came back from Peru.
Tara: No, not cool! Not gonna happen. I just moved in.
Eggs: Okay, fine. We can go some where else if that's how you feel about it.
Tara: That's all you gotta say?
Eggs: Relax. It's not big deal.
Tara: What are you? What are you? Nomads?
Eggs: We move around a little bit. Nothing wrong with that.
Tara: Wait nothing! I didn't know. You coulda told me.
Eggs: Who cares? What matters is being with the people you love.
Tara: Well, other things matter too! Like knowin' the truth about the poeople you love. So while we're on the subject, what exactly is your 'thing' with MaryAnn?
Eggs: Look, when I was ready to lay down and die she lifted me up. Same as she did you.
Tara: Now you follow here where ever she goes?
Eggs: I'm not her dog if that's what you're trying to say. And why all of a sudden are you so paranoid about MaryAnn?
Tara: Because I'm tryin' not to be a fool.
Eggs: You know what this is about? Your history is so fucked up, you have no clue what family is.
Tara: [hurt] That's not fair. I do have a clue.
Eggs: Who gives a damn about a house. MaryAnn, Carl, and me; we take care of each other. We took care of you. That's what family is, Tara.

Stan: You should have told me Eric hired a fuckin' human, Isabel.
Sookie: Now wait just a minute.
Bill: [about Sookie] Respect her!
Isabel: [to Stan] I couldn't tell you, Stan. You've been off on your own for days.
Eric: Are you certain Godric was abducted by the Fellowship of the Sun?
Isabel: No!
Stan: Yes! They're the only ones with the organization and man-power.
Isabel: But they're amateurs. It doesn't make any sense. This is Godric we're talking about. Two-thousand years old.
Stan: Old don't make you smart.
Isabel: Besides, there's no proof.
Sookie: If they've got him, I'll hear it. That's my job.
Stan: There's no reason to wait. We need to take these fanatics down. Full out attack. Exterminate them like the vermin they are.
Isabel: Hmm, vampire hating church annihilated. Wonder who did it? Fucking brilliant!
Bill: I doubt the king of Texas would approve of the destruction of our international political agenda.
Stan: Fuck that. The great revelation is the biggest mistake we ever made.
Isabel: Don't use Godric to make your own little power play.
Eric: You are completely incompetent! What's happened to Godric that he surrounds himself with clowns?
Isabel: We invited you as a courtesy. This is not your territory. You have no voice here.
Stan: Yeah, sheriff. Why don't you run back on down to Louisiana. We don't need you or your puppets.
Eric: I'm not going anywhere.
Sookie: I'm nobody's puppet!
Stan: I have a plan.
Isabel: It's not a plan, it's a movie!

Hard-Hearted Hannah [2.6][edit]

Eric: I wasn't sure you'd come.
Lorena: For a vampire, you are a terrible liar.

Jason: Jason Stackhouse, abstinent.
Luke: Sound good, don't it?
Jason: Not really.

Eric: 'Baby?' I am over 1,000 years old.

Lorena: Why am I here, Mr. Northman?
Eric: We want the same thing, you and I. [she just looks at him] Okay, Bill has something I want and he's in the way.
Lorena: His human?
Eric: She's something more than human.
Lorena: What is she?
Eric: That I do not know. Whatever it is, he loves her.
Lorena: What makes you think I want him back? That I'd even take him back?
Eric: Because you didn't come all this way just to see me.
Lorena: [annoyed] I haven't seen Bill Compton is over seventy years. Surely you can't think I have any pull over him, whatsoever.
Eric: I haven't seen my maker for much longer than that and yet, I am still loyal to him. Fiercely.
Lorena: Shame I didn't turn you. Then again... you're not really my type.

Pam: [from behind him] Remember me? [as he gets jumpy] Aww, you do. How's life?
Lafayette: Not so good. Uh, is you real?
Pam: [looking around the freezer] Hmmm. This is nice. I could sleep here in a pinch.
Lafayette: What are you doin' here? I ain't said nothin' to nobody.
Pam: And I knew you wouldn't.
Lafayette: Why didn't the fuck ya'll just glamour me, huh?
Pam: Oh poor thing. We would have, but then you wouldn't have remembered that you owed us.
Lafayette: Owe you?
Pam: Eric sent me with a request. [holds up a small bottle of blood] You're back in business.
Lafayette: Oh no I ain't. I'm outta that shit.
Pam: So sorry. But you're very much back in this shit.
Lafayette: You locked me up and tortured me for damn near three mother-fuckin' weeks, 'cause you caught me selling V and now...
Pam: Now what?
Lafayette: What the fuck is vampires doing selling V anyway?
Pam: We're not. You are. Get to work. [tosses him the bottle and leaves]

Release Me [2.7][edit]

Bill: If Sookie is hurt in any way because of you, I will not stop until I drive a stake through whatever semblance of a heart you have left.
Lorena: It's true. You're in love with a human. That's so tragic, it's funny. [laughing manically]

Eric: [observing the compound, disdainfully] You've got to be joking me. 'This' is the Fellowship of the Sun? That's their army? Scared little boys with bibles and crossbows?
Isabel: Don't underestimate them. Support for their movement is growing. Their leadership camps are over flowing with self righteous extremists, all willing and ready to die for their cause.
Eric: That can be arranged quite easily.
Isabel: Not until we know for sure the Fellowship has Godric.
Eric: What about your boy Hugo? And Sookie? They've been in there too long.
Isabel: There's no sign of alarm and if Hugo were in serious danger, I would know it. I felt something earlier but it passed. He's ok now.
Eric: Tell me, what is it you find so fulfilling about human campanionship?
Isabel: They feel much more strongly than we do. Everything is urgent, exciting. Maybe because their lives are so temporary.
Eric: Yes, they certainly don't keep well. Do you find the prospect of him growing old, sickly and cripled somewhat repulsive?
Isabel: No, I find it curious. Like a science experiment. How does Bill Compton feel about your interest in Sookie?
Eric: I'm not interested in Sookie and even less in how Bill Compton feels. My only interest is finding Godric.

Jessica: I'd have totally been a slut if I coulda gotten away with it. Me and my friend, Lori, we had this bet since eighth grade over who'd lose it first. And she was like pregnant before I even got my first kiss and my dad was such a dick head. So what's your excuse?
Hoyt: I was gonna wait, you know, till I met the right one. Well the right one never showed up. By then I had waited so long, I figured I couldn't give it away to just anybody. So now I'm twenty-eight... most girls probably think I'm like some kinda bi-sexual gay or somethin'. Not that I got any kind of problem with them. But I'm not.
Jessica: I'm not most girls. I'm not even a girl, technically. But if you're okay with it... I'd be your first.

Maryann: [coming in, all filthy] Good Mornin'!
Tara: Whoa! Maryann are you okay?
Maryann: I am fantastic! I slept outside last night and communed with my animal nature.
Eggs: [eying the dead bunny] No shit.
Maryann: [holds it up] This little fellow hopped by and I thought, hmm yummy! Rabbit stew.
Tara: Aww. Poor bunny.
Maryann: Feeling sorry for things is just an excuse not to celebrate your own happiness.

Lorena: [in 1935, shouting] I gave you everything! Everything and you've thrown it away, moaning over what you've lost. You disgust me.
Bill: Than let me go!
Lorena: No. I made you and you are mine!
Bill: You know I don't love you!
Lorena: You never tried.
Bill: I have spent decades tryin'! I despise myself for what I did for you! God help me. I killed innocent people to prove to that I loved you! But it was pure nihilism... I do not, I cannot, I will never love you.
Lorena: Men have readily laid down their lives to spend just one night with me. What more can I give? What is it that you want from me?
Bill: Choice... Let me go.
Lorena: With out me, you would be alone forever.
Bill: You're the one who's afraid of that. You are the saddest, loneliest creature I have ever known.
Lorena: How dare you! [throws him into the table] ... You hate me that much?
Bill: Let me go!
Lorena: [tearfully] I cannot live without you.
Bill: [putting the splintered wood to his chest] You'll have to.
Lorena: No! Don't!... As your maker... I release you.

Timebomb [2.8][edit]

Jason: [after being shot] I'm alive. Holy shit. God saved me. I'm saved.
Sarah Newlin: [holding a gun] Oh, for heaven's sake, grow a brain cell. Paintballs!
Jason:What? You crazy bitch!
Sarah Newlin: I let you into my house, into my bed, and into my heart. All I stood for, all I believed in, I violated to be with you!
Jason: Ok.
Sarah Newlin: I gave you everything for a lie! You're worse than Judas.
Jason: Why, what did he do to you?
Sarah Newlin: Ugh. Fuck you! [shoots him again, in the groin]
Jason: OOHH OHHH SWEET JESUS. OK, I'm sorry OK? Just, tell me what you want me to say, don't shoot me again...
Sarah Newlin: You came to prey on me; to ruin the sacred vow I made to my husband then like a coward you ran!
Jason: No, I didn't... Okay, I ran. But it wasn't from you. It was from your husband and his crazy weapon collection. Why'd you have to go and tell him?
Sarah Newlin: Tell him? I didn't tell him anything. He's the one who told me!
Jason: Wait, wait. Told you what?
Sarah Newlin: There are wolves in our hen house. We must defend our flock.
Jason: What's that got to do with-
Sarah Newlin: We have your sister!
Jason: Sookie's in the church?
Sarah Newlin: She came in yesterday, spoutin' the same lies you told!
Jason: Now you listen to me. She's got nothin' to do with this.
Sarah Newlin: You Stackhouses... you're nothin' but a buncha heartless, two-faced vampire fuckers!
Jason: [grabbing the paint gun and pushing her down] Don't you ever talk about my sister like that! If I find out any of you so much as touched her, I'm gonna come back here...and it won't be with no FUCKIN' PAINT GUN!

Eric: [to Sookie about leaving the church] I could have you outta here in seconds.
Sookie: There's kids out there.
Eric: The other humans wouldn't think twice about hurting us.
Sookie: Why didn't you bring Bill with you?
Eric: His attachment to you is irrational. It clouds his judgment. He would kill every child in this church to save you.
Sookie: Why aren't you?
Eric: I'm following Godric's orders and getting you out. That's all.
Sookie: He's your maker, isn't he?
Eric: Don't use words you don't understand.
Sookie: You have a lot of love for him.
Eric: Don't use words I don't understand.

Stan: [entering the sanctuary with his vampires] Steve Newlin! You have pushed us too far. You expect us to sit on our thumbs while you round up your men to come lynch us? We'll kill you first. Same way we did your father.
Sookie: Oh god, no.
Steve Newlin: Murderer!
Stan: [to the other vampires] Destroy them, all of them.
Godric: [from the top altar, as the vamps swarm the sanctuary] Enough! You came for me, I assume. Underling?
[all movement stops]
Stan: Yes, sheriff.
Godric: These people have not harmed me. You see we can coexist. Mr. Newlin, I do not wish to create blood shed when none is called for. Help me set an example. If we leave you in peace, will you do the same?
Steve Newlin: I will not negotiate with subhumans! Kill me. Do it. Jesus will protect me.
Godric: I am actually older than your Jesus. I wish I could have known him, but I missed it. [to the armed congregation] Good people, who of you is willing to die for this man's madness? [silence] That's what I thought. Stand down, everyone. People, go home. It's over now.
Sookie: Oh, thank god. Bill?
Bill: It's alright. You're safe now.

Jason: [to Steve Newlin] Now, I reckon I've already been to heaven. It was inside your wife.

Lorena: [walking up to Sookie] Hello there. I'm Lorena.
Sookie: Nice to meet you, I'm Sookie.
Lorena: Hmmm, yes. You're what all the fuss is about.
Sookie: Excuse me?
Lorena: Aren't you a morsel.
Sookie: I'm sorry. Who are you?
Lorena: Well, we have a mutual friend.
Sookie: Bill?
Lorena: That's right. Funny he never mentioned me. I practically made him what he is today.
Bill: [walking into the room] Lorena!
Lorena: Oh, hello darling. I was just getting to know your plaything. You always did like to prey on the innocent.
Sookie: Bill, is this your maker?
Bill: She released me years ago. She no longer has any hold over me.
Lorena: Oh I wouldn't say that. We had two marvelous nights in your hotel room.
Sookie: What?
Lorena: Did you know your boyfriend hit me over the head with a fifty-two inch plasma screen television earlier tonight? Everyone always says they're so thin and light. But let me tell you when wielded properly, it's quite a weapon.
Sookie: [to Bill] You did?
Bill: Lorena, you need to leave!
Lorena: [to Sookie] I hope he doesn't pull the same shenanigans with you. There's no excuse for domestic violence.
Bill: What she has failed to mention is that she was holding me prisoner!
Lorena: [chuckling] Cha! We were just catchin' up, is all.

I Will Rise Up [2.9][edit]

Bill: [to Sookie as she sucks bullets from Eric] What are you doing?
Sookie: [spitting out a bullet with blood] I sucked silver out of Eric's chest and saved his life, even though I really didn't want to.
Eric: [reclining on the floor]...She was superb.
Bill: Eric was in no danger.
Sookie: W-what?
Eric: A tiny falsehood.
Bill: He was already healing. The bullets would've pushed themselves out. This way he's... forced you to drink his blood.
Sookie: No! No! No!
Bill: You're connected. He'll be able to sense your emotions.
Sookie: [to Eric] You big lying a-hole.
Eric: Bill, you're right. I believe I can sense her emotions. [Sookie smacks him in the chest and runs to Bill]...Sweet.
Sookie: [to Eric] I'll never do anything for you again! Monster!
Bill: [to Sookie] It's not your fault.
Eric: I think I'm gonna cry.

Jessica: I'll get used to it. Maybe there's an operation. I can't be the only vampire virgin.
Hoyt: You know, intercourse isn't the only way to have sex.
Jessica: But I want to have intercourse.
Hoyt: Well sure... We can do everything when we figure out how.
Jessica: You should break up with me.
Hoyt: Hell no. That thing that grows back, it's just a thing. I ain't perfect either. I'm the guy people laugh at.

Nan Flanagan: Do you have any fucking idea of the PR mess you've made? And who has to fucking clean that up? Me, not you, Me. We should drain every one of you bastards.
Eric: Stan went to the church on his own. None of us knew anything about it.
Nan Flanagan: Oh really? Because everyone who met Stan in the last three-hundred years knew that he had a kink about slaughtering humans. But you, his nest-mates, his sheriff has no clue.
Isabel: And how were we supposed to know that this time he meant it?
Nan Flanagan: Not my problem. [to Godric] Yours.
Eric: Don't talk to him that way.
Nan Flanagan: [to Eric] Don't talk to me that way! [to Godric] Let's get to the point, sheriff. How'd they manage to abduct you?
Godric: They would've taken one of us sooner or later. I offered myself.
Nan Flanagan: Why?
Godric: Why not?
Nan Flanagan: They wanted you to meet the sun and you were willing?
Godric: What do you think?
Nan Flanagan: I think you're out of your mind and then I hear about a traitor?
Godric: Irrelevant. Only a rumor. I'll take full responsibility.
Nan Flanagan: You bet your ass you will!

Eric: [running his hand down her arm, waking her as she turns to him] Finish your sentence.
Sookie: What was I saying?
Eric: You were telling me why you'd be a terrible vampire and I was disagreeing.
Sookie: Well, I don't feel right without a tan. [Eric laughs] It's true, and I'd rather be alive than undead. And then y'all are always killin'.
Eric: You've killed a man.
Sookie: That was for self defense, not for lunch.
Eric: Oh, you'd adapt. Like we all do. Trade the sun for the moon and stars.
Sookie: Uh uh. Not me. I want 'em all.
Eric: [smiling] Ooh, greedy.
Sookie: Yeah, I am.
Eric: I love it. [kissing her hand] You have the right temperament for a vampire.
Sookie: Why? I'm high maintenance, blood thirsty, and old as dirt?
Eric: Ahh, blood thirsty, yeah.
Sookie: I am not.
Eric: Everybody thinks you're a darling, don't they?
Sookie: I am a darling.
Eric: Yeah, but you're ruthless when it comes to the people you love. You'd do anything for them. [kissing her] Your brother, your friends... me.
Lorena: [from the shadows] Bill.
Sookie: [pulling away] Bill? Where's Bill?
Lorena: [from the shadows] What do you care? You've already abandoned him.
Sookie: I have not. I love Bill.
Eric: [pulling her back] I used to think you had no sense of humor.
Sookie: I used to think you were made of cold, hard stone and empty inside.
Eric: And now?
Sookie: You're a big faker. You're deep. You feel. There's love in you.
Eric: Only for Sookie. [kissing her]
Lorena: [to Sookie] You don't want Bill. He means nothing to you.
Sookie: No.
Eric: [pulling her to him] ... This is the beginning. [kissing her passionately]

Godric: [on the roof with Eric] Two thousand years is enough.
Eric: I can't accept this. It's insanity!
Godric: Our existence is insanity... we don't belong here.
Eric: But we are here!
Godric: It's not right. We're not right.
Eric: You taught me there was no right or wrong. Only survival or death.
Godric: I told a lie, as it turns out.
Eric: [stepping closer] I will keep you alive by force!
Godric: Even if you could, why would you be so cruel?
Eric: Godric, don't do it.
Godric: There are centuries of faith and love between us.
Eric: Please, please!... Please Godric!
Godric: Father... brother... child... Let me go.
Eric: I won't let you die alone.
Godric: Yes, you will. As your maker. I command you.
[Eric gets to his feet and walks to the stairs. Sookie reaches for him and he turns to her]
Sookie: I'll stay with him. As long as it takes. [Eric leaves]
Godric: It won't take long. Not at my age.
Sookie: You know it wasn't very smart. The Fellowship of Sun part.
Godric: I know. I thought it would fix everything some how. But I don't think like a vampire anymore... Do you believe in God?
Sookie: Yes.
Godric: If you're right, how will he punish me?
Sookie: God doesn't punish. God forgives.
Godric: I don't deserve it, but I hope for it.
Sookie: We all do.
Godric: You will care for him? Eric.
Sookie: I'm not sure. You know how he is.
Godric: I can take the blame for that too.
Sookie: [smiling softly] Maybe not. Eric's pretty much himself... Are you very afraid?
Godric: No, no. I'm full of joy.
Sookie: But the pain?
Godric: I want to burn.
Sookie: [starts crying] I-I'm afraid for you.
Godric: A human with me at the end, and human tears. Two thousand years... and I can still be surprised. In this I see God.
Sookie: [watches as he turns towards the sun and removes his shirt, holding his arms wide] ... Good-bye, Godric.

New World In My View [2.10][edit]

Lettie Mae: [about helping Tara] If only Miss Jeanette was still alive.
Lafayette: She don't need no backwoods witch. She needs Thorazine and a padded cell.

Sam: I got no idea how we're gonna deal with a god-damned maenad.
Andy: A mae-what?
Sam: Wait. You don't remember any of what I told you last night? Or were you passed out, spent the whole fuckin' day in bed, sleepin' off your bender?
Andy: You said uh, Maryann was to blame for all this, the bug eyes and the craziness.
Sam: And the people showin' up dead with their hearts cut out, in the back seat of your car.
Andy: She did that?
Sam: Yeah. She killed Daphne too.
Andy: Fuck me... We got another serial killer.
Sam: Andy, listen to me. She is a supernatural creature and she is immortal. She has powers and she's not leavin' till she gets what she wants, which I think is me.
Andy: What's she want you for?
Sam: I think to cut out my heart while a bunch of naked people watch. All for Dionysus or Satan or for some god that has horns.
Andy: People thought I was crazy because I thought I saw a pig!
Sam: Well you did see a pig and you were right. That pig is a part of all this. That pig was... was doin' some of Maryann's dirty work for her.
Andy: Well if what you say is true, we need to kill that bitch!
Sam: She don't die. Remember?

Jason: I'm goin' to Merlotte's and find out what the hell's happenin' on my turf!
Bill: Jason, if it is the same creature we think it might be, you don't wanna go any where near it. Trust me.
Jason: Mr. Compton, I ain't about to sit back and let some monster destroy my town.
Sookie: Jason, this would be one of 'those' times to use your head.
Jason: Oh I am. I ain't never been so clear in my whole life. This here, is the war I've been training for.

Maryann: [catching Bill and Sookie] What are you doing in my house?
Sookie: This is not your house!
Maryann: It is now.
Bill: I strongly suggest you remove yourself immediately!
Maryann: My! You found yourself quite a specimen. Though I dare say there's nothing stopping him from one day leaving you cold.
Sookie: You don't scare me.

Sookie: I've know Tara my whole life and every trace of her was gone. Replaced. And here I thought vampires were the only one's who could hypnotize people.
Bill: No offense Sookie, but humans are shockingly susceptible to just about every form of thought manipulation.
Sookie: It's all comin' from Maryann. All of it. She-she eats people's hearts and she wants more. She wants their souls and that chant...
Bill: Chant?
Sookie: Lo lo Bromios, lo lo Dendrites, Eleutherios, Enorches, Bacchus.
Bill: [very serious] Bacchus!
Sookie: Bill... I've seen that look on your face before and I don't like it.
Bill: I read about some ancient creatures many years ago. But I always assumed it was just a myth. But I believe Maryann might be one.
Sookie: What is she and more importantly, how do we kill her?
Bill: I do not know how to defeat her, but I do know one vampire who might.

Frenzy [2.11][edit]

Sophie-Anne: Maenads are sad, silly things. The world changed centuries ago and they're still waiting for the God who comes.
Bill: Does he ever come?
Sophie-Anne: Of course not. Gods never actually show up. They only exist in humans' minds, like money and morality.
Bill: If I can't kill her, how do I get her to leave Bon Temps?
Sophie-Anne: She has to believe that she successfully summoned forth Dionysus in hopes that he will ravish her and quite literally devour her until she's lost into oblivion.
Bill: So she seeks death? The true death. The one thing she has evolved beyond.
Sophie-Anne: Ironic, isn't it? You know they're really not that smart, these maenads.
Bill: So how does she summon this non-existent god of hers?
Sophie-Anne: I never said he was non-existent. I just said he never comes. She believes if she finds the perfect vessel, sacrifices and devours part of him or her, plus surrounded by the magic of her familiars than her mad god will appear. At that point when she willingly surrenders herself to him...
Bill: That's the only point she can be killed.

Bill: That was really quite desperate of you: tricking her into drinking your blood, so that she became attracted to you.
Eric: Unlike you, who fed her your own blood the very night you met…
Bill: How do you know that?
Eric: So you're not denying it?
Bill: I was saving her life.
Eric: Isn't that convenient.

Tara: Eggs?
Eggs: [tranced out] Baby! Where you been? I-I was so scared. Don't you ever leave me again, okay?
Tara: I won't, I promise. I love you. We gotta get you outta here, okay? Let's go somewhere else, please. [he doesn't move] Listen to me.
Maryann: [from behind her] But everything you want is right here. I knew you'd come.
Tara: No. I don't know what you are, but I want out!
Maryann: Oh, it's too late for that.
Tara: You made me eat somebody's heart!
Maryann: And you loved it. Admit it.
Tara: You don't want us. You want Sam. we ain't got nothin' to do with it.
Maryann: Nothing to do with it? 'You' summoned 'me'.
Tara: What?
Maryann: That night in the woods with that unfortunate pharmacist. You saw me. Well you saw 'you' through me. (flashes back to the fake exorcism)
Tara: But Miss Jeanette was a fake. She scammed people by makin' up crazy rituals.
Maryann: Ooh, a ritual is a powerful thing and calling forth that kind of energy... has consequences.
Tara: She was real?
Maryann: Sadly no. I should've known she wasn't the vessel, but you have to try every option, ya know?

Eric: Why should I help you... shifter?
Sam: Because I need your help. We need it. And hopefully some day I might be able to give you something you need.
Eric: Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse?
Sam: No.
Eric: Well that's a shame. That would be a tribute I would not soon forget.
Sam: [irate] I'm not here to give you tribute, Eric.
Eric: No, you're here to request my help based on a hypothetical future in which you return the favor... But you are known not to be to friendly towards those like me. Why should I trust you?
Sam: Because until somebody starts trusting somebody, we're all single targets just ripe for the picking.

Pam: [about children] You make me so happy I never had any o' you.
Eric: Aw, c'mon Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.
Pam: I hate them. They're so stupid.
Eric: But delicious.

Beyond Here Lies Nothin' [2.12][edit]

Mrs. Merlotte: We never thought we'd see you again.
Sam: Well, never say never when there's the Internet.
Mrs. Merlotte: Sam, if you came for an explanation, um I don't have a good one. Mitchell and I were down to our last nickel and we were scared. We still don't know what we saw that night.
Sam: You saw me turn into a dog. So apparently that was worth abandoning me over. I spent the next nineteen years making sure nobody knew what I really was. That's what you left me with.

Bill: You've heard there's a maenad in our midst?
Sam: I'm familiar.
Bill: You are aware she is here because of you.
Sam: Something like that.
Bill: I need you and Sookie needs you to make this right.
Sam: If I thought it was as easy as givin' myself up to Maryann, I'd have done that by now and what's to say she's gonna stop at me? Killers just don't suddenly quit killin'. You oughta know that.
Bill: And standing by idly is not an option either. You must come with me.
Sam: Oh I'm not sure I wanna be doing that.
Bill: I'm not sure I'm giving you a choice.

Maryann: Come on, Sookie, it'll be our little secret. What are you?
Sookie: I'm a waitress. What the fuck are you?

Sheriff Dearborne: Come by the station in the morning and I'll give you your badge back.
Andy: Really? I won't let you down Bud. And I am never touching another drink again.
Sheriff Dearborne: This town's a hell of a mess and I'm man enough to know I can't shoulder it myself. [Pause] You might have your faults Andy, but at least you got pants on.

Sookie: [after Bill proposes] Then why can't I say it? My heart's flying around in my chest - I can't even think straight. My life's inside out. With all that's happened I'm not sure about anything. I don't even know if I'm human!
Bill: What?
Sookie: Maybe I am some kind of freak. I've only met one other person in the world like me and who even knows where he is? And what happens when I grow old? And weak? And you're still the same, what then?
Bill: Sookie, I don't care about any of that. I want you just as you are.
Sookie: But I'm not even sure what I am!
Bill: Are you saying no?
Sookie: No I'm saying...I don't know what I'm saying. I need a minute to clean myself up. I'm sorry.

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