Bob's Burgers (season 7)

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Bob's Burgers is an American adult animated sitcom created by Loren Bouchard for Fox. The series centers on the Belchers—parents Bob and Linda, and their children Tina, Gene, and Louise—who run a hamburger restaurant.

Flu-ouise [7.01][edit]

Linda: Louise, you do not want that flu bug. I had it and it gave me weird fever dreams. I dreamt I was in a book club with my cousin Vanessa, but she was a werewolf.
Teddy: Classic!

(Air horn blares)
Bob: Jeez, I thought we took the air horn away from her.
Tina: Did you hide it in your underwear drawer?
Bob: Yes.
Tina: We know about the underwear drawer.
Gene: And about your underwear. Not-so-tighty-not-so-whitey!

Akkoro Kamui: [Linda's voice] So listen, none shall pass... gas. [blows raspberry] Just kidding.

Sea Me Now [7.02][edit]

Teddy : You know that boat that I've been fixing up?
Linda : Yoooou've mentioned it.
Teddy : Well, I finally got her shipshape, and I thought it'd be fun to take you all out.
Louise : Kill us?
Teddy: No, take you out for a boat ride.

Teen-a Witch [7.03][edit]

Mr. Ambrose: Ugggh! You've been a witch for what? Two days? Take it down a notch! You're playing with powerful forces; this is not kids stuff.
Tina: I am powerful forces.
Mr. Ambrose: Witch, please!

They Serve Horses, Don't They? [7.04][edit]

Jimmy: Notice anything different about me?
Bob: No, thank you.
Jimmy: Eh? Eh? I'm tan! Just got back from a week in the Bahamas. We had a blast. Except for Jimmy Jr. He forgot to put on sunblock. Now he looks like a dog's ding-dong.
Tina: Aw!

Large Brother, Where Fart Thou? [7.05][edit]

(Doorbell buzzes)
Linda (whispering) : We should build a fort with the cushions.That way, even if he gets in, he won't see us.
Gerald the Accountant : Okay, but I'm still sad, so I want my own room in the fort to reflect and figure out where to go from here.
Bob: You absolutely deserve that.

The Quirkducers [7.06][edit]

Louise Belcher: How you doing girl?
Tina Belcher: Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea.

The Last Gingerbread House on the Left [7.07][edit]

Linda: Maybe we should just pack it in. Go home and drink the kind of hot coco that's wine.

Ex Mach Tina [7.08][edit]

Mr. Frond: They're looking for a student to participate in their Robotic Mobility Program. Or rump for short.
Tina: Rump? I'm listening.

Jimmy Junior: Tinabot, commence to the AV closet. I want to show you something. It's something I haven't shown anyone. Not even Zeke.
Tina: Wow, a secret, and a zekeret.

Bob Actually [7.09][edit]

Receptionist: Sorry ballroom's been cancelled. The teacher just waltzed out of here. Get it? I'm kidding. She died.

Science Teacher: Ok class, today we're going to dissect a banana. We only have 2, so get into groups of 13.

Louise: Oh no, if I don't do something about this Regular Sized Rudy is getting big time screwdy.

There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business [7.10][edit]

Tina: Maybe this is our wake-up call. We should stop eating cat food.
Gene: I have been throwing up on the rug.
Tina: So let's do it. We'll have a normal day where we don't think about cat food at all.
Bob: Everyone ready to go to the cat food audition today?
Tina: Oh damn it.
Louise: Atta girl.

A Few 'Gurt Men [7.11][edit]

Linda: And we can't forget the most important role of all—Tina the juror!
Tina: With great jury comes great responsibility.

Like Gene for Chocolate [7.12][edit]

Gene (after eating new-style chocolate): No, no, no, eh, eh, bleh! (falls on the floor). WHY?! Why, why, why, why, why?!
Tina: So not great?
Gene: Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! Bleh!
Tina: So what's the verdict?
Clerk: Hey, hey, hey, hey, kid, you got to pay for that.
Gene: Why would they do this to me? Why would they change Chunky Blast Offs? And where's Ronnie? (grabs checkout desk). I want my usual convenience store checkout guy!
Clerk: Ronnie joined the Peace Corps.

Some people say that 50 Cent is Chunky Blast Offs.

The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel [7.13][edit]

Tina: I'm going to bed. I don't remember which room I'm in but I'm sure I'll recognize the door.
Bob: She's going to be wandering around up there all night.
Louise: Yup, she belongs to the hotel now.

Dillon: I still can't believe your mom. Those were some crazy smother mother moves last night.
Tina: Yeah. As Bernadette would say, give me some space.

Aquaticism [7.14][edit]

Linda: I like sandwiches.
Bob: You smell like you do.
Linda: You smell interesting too. You own a toothbrush, or are you still shopping around?

Ain't Miss Debatin [7.15][edit]

Henry: Now we need to find some passion in your delivery. What really gets you going?
Tina: You mean what makes me tick?
Henry: What makes you tick-tick-tick explode? Think of things that get you mad. I think of when they canceled Firefly. You try.
Tina: I guess it makes me mad that they call it your bottom when it's in the middle.
Henry: Okay.
Tina: Or why do horseshoes only come in one style? Why can't they have horse sandals?
Henry: Find your Firefly, come on.
Tina: I got a Canadian quarter in change. It's worthless unless I take a special trip to Canada to buy gum. [groans]
Henry: You'll get there.

Bob: It's the best movie of meat dancing and then its head falling off that I've ever seen. Since Magic Mike.

Sasha: Tina, you seem to have noticed Duncan, our exchange student from somewhere.
Duncan: New Zealand.
Sasha: Right. It's so far away that Duncan went through puberty on the plane.
Duncan: It's true. I got pit scrubbies and other scrubbies, a couple of chesties. Oh, a new one. Want one?
Tina: Um, one of your chesties?
Duncan: Yeah. They just twist off. Want me to twist you off a chestie?
Tina: Yes? I-I mean no. No. No.
Duncan: Sasha, you want one?
Sasha: Yeah, I'll take one.

Duncan: Buttle Rubbies.

Eggs for Days [7.16][edit]

Zero Larp Thirty [7.17][edit]

The Laser-inth [7.18][edit]

Tina Belcher: What are dinner dolls?
Gretchen: You need a doll to eat here. Like some restaurants say jacket required, or ma'am that bathing suit needs a bottom.

Scalper: On this paper, you'll find a phone number. It's the direct line to the concession stand inside. Call it, and when the guy picks up, give him the pass phrase.
Bob: What's the pass phrase?
Scalper: The pass phrase is (whispering, rattled coughing)
Bob: Oh, God.
Scalper: Word to the wise: two guys work at the concession stand. One is cool, the other is not.
Bob: Okay. Um, what are their names?
Scalper: They're both named Nick.
Bob: Oh. Nice.
Scalper: If the uncool Nick answers, hang up right away.
Bob: How are we supposed to know which Nick we're talking to?
Scalper: You'll know the cool Nick, 'cause, you know, he sounds cool.
Bob: Okay.
Scalper: Another word to the wise.
Bob: Mm.
Scalper: The uncool Nick knows we do this, so sometimes he tries to sound cool, and he's very good. It's almost impossible to tell the difference.
Bob: Oh, my God.

Thelma & Louise Except Thelma is Linda [7.19][edit]

Mom, Lies, and Videotapes [7.20][edit]

Paraders of the Lost Float [7.21][edit]

Bob: Wait, I know how we can get back in front of Pesto.
Linda: Bob, it's not a race.
Bob: That's right, it's not a race Lin. It's a war.
Gene: It's a race war.
Bob: Gene.

Into the Mild [7.22][edit]

Austin: Quick question: how big is your crotch?
Bob: What?
Austin: For your harness. You look like a medium, but I don't want to assume.

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