Bob's Burgers (season 7)
Bob's Burgers is an American adult animated sitcom created by Loren Bouchard for Fox. The series centers on the Belchers—parents Bob and Linda, and their children Tina, Gene, and Louise—who run a hamburger restaurant.
- Linda: Louise, you do not want that flu bug. I had it and it gave me weird fever dreams. I dreamt I was in a book club with my cousin Vanessa, but she was a werewolf.
- Teddy: Classic!
- (Air horn blares)
- Bob: Jeez, I thought we took the air horn away from her.
- Tina: Did you hide it in your underwear drawer?
- Bob: Yes.
- Tina: We know about the underwear drawer.
- Gene: And about your underwear. Not-so-tighty-not-so-whitey!
- Akkoro Kamui: [Linda's voice] So listen, none shall pass... gas. [blows raspberry] Just kidding.
Sea Me Now [7.02]
- Teddy : You know that boat that I've been fixing up?
- Linda : Yoooou've mentioned it.
- Teddy : Well, I finally got her shipshape, and I thought it'd be fun to take you all out.
- Louise : Kill us?
- Teddy: No, take you out for a boat ride.
Teen-a Witch [7.03]
- Mr. Ambrose: Ugggh! You've been a witch for what? Two days? Take it down a notch! You're playing with powerful forces; this is not kids stuff.
- Tina: I am powerful forces.
- Mr. Ambrose: Witch, please!
They Serve Horses, Don't They? [7.04]
- Jimmy: Notice anything different about me?
- Bob: No, thank you.
- Jimmy: Eh? Eh? I'm tan! Just got back from a week in the Bahamas. We had a blast. Except for Jimmy Jr. He forgot to put on sunblock. Now he looks like a dog's ding-dong.
- Tina: Aw!
Large Brother, Where Fart Thou? [7.05]
- (Doorbell buzzes)
- Linda (whispering) : We should build a fort with the cushions.That way, even if he gets in, he won't see us.
- Gerald the Accountant : Okay, but I'm still sad, so I want my own room in the fort to reflect and figure out where to go from here.
- Bob: You absolutely deserve that.
The Quirkducers [7.06]
- Louise Belcher: How you doing girl?
- Tina Belcher: Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea.
The Last Gingerbread House on the Left [7.07]
- Linda: Maybe we should just pack it in. Go home and drink the kind of hot coco that's wine.
Ex Mach Tina [7.08]
- Mr. Frond: They're looking for a student to participate in their Robotic Mobility Program. Or rump for short.
- Tina: Rump? I'm listening.
- Jimmy Junior: Tinabot, commence to the AV closet. I want to show you something. It's something I haven't shown anyone. Not even Zeke.
- Tina: Wow, a secret, and a zekeret.
Bob Actually [7.09]
- Receptionist: Sorry ballroom's been cancelled. The teacher just waltzed out of here. Get it? I'm kidding. She died.
- Science Teacher: Ok class, today we're going to dissect a banana. We only have 2, so get into groups of 13.
- Louise: Oh no, if I don't do something about this Regular Sized Rudy is getting big time screwdy.
There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business [7.10]
- Tina: Maybe this is our wake-up call. We should stop eating cat food.
- Gene: I have been throwing up on the rug.
- Tina: So let's do it. We'll have a normal day where we don't think about cat food at all.
- Bob: Everyone ready to go to the cat food audition today?
- Tina: Oh damn it.
- Louise: Atta girl.
A Few 'Gurt Men [7.11]
- Linda: And we can't forget the most important role of all—Tina the juror!
- Tina: With great jury comes great responsibility.
Like Gene for Chocolate [7.12]
- Gene (after eating new-style chocolate): No, no, no, eh, eh, bleh! (falls on the floor). WHY?! Why, why, why, why, why?!
- Tina: So not great?
- Gene: Bleh! Bleh! Bleh! Bleh!
- Tina: So what's the verdict?
- Clerk: Hey, hey, hey, hey, kid, you got to pay for that.
- Gene: Why would they do this to me? Why would they change Chunky Blast Offs? And where's Ronnie? (grabs checkout desk). I want my usual convenience store checkout guy!
- Clerk: Ronnie joined the Peace Corps.
- Gene: NOOOOOO!
Some people say that 50 Cent is Chunky Blast Offs.
The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel [7.13]
- Tina: I'm going to bed. I don't remember which room I'm in but I'm sure I'll recognize the door.
- Bob: She's going to be wandering around up there all night.
- Louise: Yup, she belongs to the hotel now.
- Dillon: I still can't believe your mom. Those were some crazy smother mother moves last night.
- Tina: Yeah. As Bernadette would say, give me some space.
- Linda: I like sandwiches.
- Bob: You smell like you do.
- Linda: You smell interesting too. You own a toothbrush, or are you still shopping around?
Ain't Miss Debatin [7.15]
- Henry: Now we need to find some passion in your delivery. What really gets you going?
- Tina: You mean what makes me tick?
- Henry: What makes you tick-tick-tick explode? Think of things that get you mad. I think of when they canceled Firefly. You try.
- Tina: I guess it makes me mad that they call it your bottom when it's in the middle.
- Henry: Okay.
- Tina: Or why do horseshoes only come in one style? Why can't they have horse sandals?
- Henry: Find your Firefly, come on.
- Tina: I got a Canadian quarter in change. It's worthless unless I take a special trip to Canada to buy gum. [groans]
- Henry: You'll get there.
- Bob: It's the best movie of meat dancing and then its head falling off that I've ever seen. Since Magic Mike.
- Sasha: Tina, you seem to have noticed Duncan, our exchange student from somewhere.
- Duncan: New Zealand.
- Sasha: Right. It's so far away that Duncan went through puberty on the plane.
- Duncan: It's true. I got pit scrubbies and other scrubbies, a couple of chesties. Oh, a new one. Want one?
- Tina: Um, one of your chesties?
- Duncan: Yeah. They just twist off. Want me to twist you off a chestie?
- Tina: Yes? I-I mean no. No. No.
- Duncan: Sasha, you want one?
- Sasha: Yeah, I'll take one.
- Duncan: Buttle Rubbies.
Eggs for Days [7.16]
Zero Larp Thirty [7.17]
The Laser-inth [7.18]
- Tina Belcher: What are dinner dolls?
- Gretchen: You need a doll to eat here. Like some restaurants say jacket required, or ma'am that bathing suit needs a bottom.
- Scalper: On this paper, you'll find a phone number. It's the direct line to the concession stand inside. Call it, and when the guy picks up, give him the pass phrase.
- Bob: What's the pass phrase?
- Scalper: The pass phrase is (whispering, rattled coughing)
- Bob: Oh, God.
- Scalper: Word to the wise: two guys work at the concession stand. One is cool, the other is not.
- Bob: Okay. Um, what are their names?
- Scalper: They're both named Nick.
- Bob: Oh. Nice.
- Scalper: If the uncool Nick answers, hang up right away.
- Bob: How are we supposed to know which Nick we're talking to?
- Scalper: You'll know the cool Nick, 'cause, you know, he sounds cool.
- Bob: Okay.
- Scalper: Another word to the wise.
- Bob: Mm.
- Scalper: The uncool Nick knows we do this, so sometimes he tries to sound cool, and he's very good. It's almost impossible to tell the difference.
- Bob: Oh, my God.
Thelma & Louise Except Thelma is Linda [7.19]
Mom, Lies, and Videotapes [7.20]
Paraders of the Lost Float [7.21]
- Bob: Wait, I know how we can get back in front of Pesto.
- Linda: Bob, it's not a race.
- Bob: That's right, it's not a race Lin. It's a war.
- Gene: It's a race war.
- Bob: Gene.
Into the Mild [7.22]
- Austin: Quick question: how big is your crotch?
- Bob: What?
- Austin: For your harness. You look like a medium, but I don't want to assume.