Brooklyn Nine-Nine (season 5)
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The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
- 1 The Big House Pt. 1 [5.01]
- 2 The Big House Pt. 2 [5.02]
- 3 Kicks [5.03]
- 4 HalloVeen [5.04]
- 5 Bad Beat [5.05]
- 6 The Venue [5.06]
- 7 Two Turkeys [5.07]
- 8 Return to Skyfire [5.08]
- 9 99 [5.09]
- 10 Game Night [5.10]
- 11 The Favor [5.11]
- 12 Safe House [5.12]
- 13 The Negotiation [5.13]
- 14 The Box [5.14]
- 15 The Puzzle Master [5.15]
- 16 NutriBoom [5.16]
- 17 DFW [5.17]
- 18 Gray Star Mutual [5.18]
- 19 Bachelor/ette Party [5.19]
- 20 Show Me Going [5.20]
- 21 White Whale [5.21]
- 22 Jake & Amy [5.22]
The Big House Pt. 1 [5.01]
- Caleb: At least you still have people who want to see you. My family hasn't been here to see me since the trial. You eat nine people, and all of a sudden they "don't know who you are anymore".
- Jake: Wait... What? Did you say "eat people"? Are you a cannibal, Caleb?
- Caleb: Well, that's not how I would define myself. If we're going by what I'm most passionate about, I'm a woodworker.
The Big House Pt. 2 [5.02]
- Amy: Jake, I'm always gonna be one step ahead of you. You've lost the ability to surprise me. Ya just plain boring.
- Jake: Again, weird take on a very loving relationship.
- Amy: And it's midnight, so I guess I'm an amazing human/genius.
- Jake: Yeah. Although you might wanna read the inscription on that there belt.
- Amy: Why? Oh, no, what does it say? [reads inscription] "Amy Santiago, will you marry me?"
- [Amy turns around to see Jake on one knee holding out an engagement ring]
- Jake: Surprise.
- Amy: I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening right now.
- Jake: "I'm so confused I don't know what's happening right now": title of your sex tape.
- Amy: "h, my God, I'm shaking. I'm definitely gonna cry. [grins] Title of your sex tape. [beat] Wait, is this really happening? Is this part of the heist? If this is part of the heist, I will dump you so hard.
- Jake: No, please, Ames, look, it's really happening, okay? It's not part of the heist. I promise, this is real.
- Amy: It is?
- Jake: Yeah. Okay, here it goes. Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are. I love your face, and I love your butt. I should've written this down first.
- Amy: No, no, it's okay. Go on.
- Jake: I love how much you pretend to like Die Hard.
- Amy: I like the second one.
- Jake: You don't have to. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective. [pause] Also, for reals, I love your butt.
- Amy: I love yours too.
- Jake: Gross. [chuckles] Amy Santiago, will you marry me?
- Amy: Jake Peralta, I will marry you.
- [They kiss]
- Amy: I love you so much.
- Charles: [busting into the evidence room] Hey, jerkos, this little Tramp escaped, so that ought to teach... [notices Jake's ring box] D-did you just...? [Jake nods] And did you say...? [Amy nods whilst showing her ring]
- [Charles hyperventilates and faints]
Bad Beat [5.05]
The Venue [5.06]
Two Turkeys [5.07]
Return to Skyfire [5.08]
Game Night [5.10]
The Favor [5.11]
Safe House [5.12]
The Negotiation [5.13]
The Box [5.14]
The Puzzle Master [5.15]
- [Jake and a witness are viewing a line-up]
- Jake: So, do you recognize any of these men?
- Witness: I was hiding in the bathroom stall, so I didn't see his face. But I heard him. He was singing along to the music at the bar.
- Jake: Do you remember what he was singing?
- Witness: I think it was that song, "I Want It That Way".
- Jake: Backstreet Boys. I'm familiar. Okay. [presses intercom] Number one, could you please sing the opening to "I Want It That Way"?
- Number One: Really? Okay. [singing] You are my fire...
- Jake: Number two, keep it going.
- Number Two: The one desire...
- Jake: Number three.
- Number Three: Believe when I say...
- Jake: Number four.
- Number Four: I want it that way.
- Jake: [singing] Tell me why!
- Suspects: Ain't nothing but a heartache...
- Jake: Tell me why!
- Suspects: Ain't nothing but a mistake...
- Jake: [still singing] Now number five...
- Number Five: I never want to hear you say…
- Suspects: I want it that way.
- Jake: Ah, chills! Literal chills!
- Witness: It was number five. Number five killed my brother.
- Jake: Oh my God, I forgot about that part.