Roddy St. James
- This wacko has been chasing after me!
- I'm being attacked by a madwoman! She's got crayons!
- When the cats away, the mice will play!
- Feeling a little tongue-tied?
- What are you, some kind of rat boomerang?!
- Oi! Kermit!
- Go, go, purple custard!
- Careful, mate! Those aren't chocolate buttons!
- I would not do that if I was you, pal. Let me lay this out for you: this place is mine now. Sid says, "Jump!", you say, "How high?". Hey-hey! Comprende?
- You plonker! Think I don't know a toilet when I see one?
- [before flushing Roddy down the toilet] Bon voyage, me old cream cracker!
- What a loo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooser!
- [When Roddy is dragging him towards the toilet] No, please don't flush me, Roddy! I can't survive down there! I've gone soft!
- Huzzah! A man of quality!
- Pardon me. My fly's undone.
- I said you'd find it diverting. Not amusing!
- Ice him! Ice them both!
- Let's see if there's anything good in the fridge.
- Prepare to meet your maker... your ice maker. [cackling evilly]
- [To Spike and Whitey] Faster, you idiots! They're escaping!
- You incompetent cheese-eaters! You let them escape?!
- [Growls] Do I have to do everything myself?
- You wretched vermin! I'll make you pay for this!
- Rita, Rita, Rita. [Evil Laugh] You thought you give us a slip? [slips down on Jammy Dodger] Keep still, Connie! Right!
- [giggles] Okay, are we going to do it the easy way, or the hard way?
- Right! Rip 'em up, lads!
- It's in here somewhere! I can feel it in me guts!
- Alright! Alright! It's time to bring out... the Persuader. [The Persuader chomps a nut]
- [As himself] Your choice, mate. You can talk now or you can talk later. Ain't that right, Persuader? [As the Persuader] Yeah, but in a much higher voice!
- [As the Persuader] You'll be singing like a tea kettle. [As himself] [laughs] Good one, Persuader.
- Come on, then. Spit it out!
- Blimey, it's cold!
- Hit men don't wear mittens! Take them off! You're embarrassing me.
- Keep your legs straight when you hit the water!
- Target at twelve o'clock!
- You look pretty ridiculous now, Millicent.
- Enough games. To the ratmobiles!
- There they are! Go get them, lads!
- Danger is my middle name.
- Any last requests?
- I'm upset now.
- I believe he said his name was Millicent Bystander.
- I think we should do it the easy way, don't you Spike?
- That'll be last night's curry. I'm the same, I got a bum like the Japanese flag.
- The persuader's alive, Spike!
- The booty's in the booty.
- [Talking to Roddy while going to the Toad] So you're from Up Top, eh? I-- I used to work in a laboratory Up Top. Yeah. Big shampoo job. I-- I was dark grey when we started. Yeah. Still, it cleared up me dandruff! [laughs, snorts]
- I kept me legs straight, Spike!
- Keep your legs straight!
- Focused. Cable-centric, boss.
- Would that be port or starboard, Spike?
- Scrabble! [laughs, snort]
- I saw an opportunity and I seized it.
- You shouldn't sneak up on people. It's not polite.
- I thought it was Lesley.
- [First line, when the Toad sternly notes he is late] Fashionably late, my annoying English cousin. I know no other way.
- Forgive me, my warty English cousin, but this bizarre obsession with the rats; it is not good for you. You are becoming what we French call... "Le Fruitcake!"
- I find everyone's pain funny but my own. I'm French!
- [On the Toad] He's cuckoo, but family.
- I have triumphed! You stupid English, with your Yorkshire puddings and your chips and fish!
- Give it a rest, cousin! And get your kids a puppy!
- You're going to pay for that, my little chocalate croissant. But first, a word from our sponser. [Clicks his fingers] Marcel?
- Tadpole: Is this the glorious amphibian dawn, dad?
- The Toad: Anything for you, my little man.
- Tadpole: Can I have a pony?
- The Toad: No.
- Tadpole: A puppy?
- The Toad: We'll talk about it. [Suddenly, all of the tadpoles in the tank start clamoring for a puppy] No! You can't all have puppies, please! Daddy's working!
- Lady: Feed the flies! Tuppence a bag!
- Hugh Jackman as Roderick "Roddy" St. James
- Kate Winslet as Rita Malone
- Ian McKellen as The Toad
- Jean Reno as Le Frog
- Andy Serkis as Spike
- Bill Nighy as Whitey
- Shane Richie as Sid