Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is a 2017 American superhero film, a sequel to the 2014 film Guardians of the Galaxy, both based on the Marvel Comics superhero team Guardians of the Galaxy.

Directed by James Gunn. Produced by Kevin Feige. Written by James Gunn.
You only get one chance to save the galaxy twice.

Peter Quill[edit]

  • [In tears] I told Gamora how, when I was a kid, I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad. He's a singer and actor from Earth, really famous guy. Earlier, it struck me…Yondu didn't have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. He didn't have the beautiful voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. Both Yondu and David Hasselhoff went on kick-ass adventures and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots…I guess David Hasselhoff did kind of end up being my dad after all. Only it was you, Yondu. I had a pretty cool dad. Only what I'm trying to say is…sometimes, that thing you're searching for through your whole life is right there by your side all along. You don't even know it.
  • Groot, put your seatbelt on! PREPARE FOR A REALLY BAD LANDING!
  • You shouldn't have killed my mother and squished my Walkman!

Gamora[edit]

  • [About Ego] Maybe this man could be your David Hasselhoff.

Drax the Destroyer[edit]

  • When you're ugly and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know whom to trust.
  • There are two types of beings in the universe: Those, who dance and those, who do not.
  • Outta the way, dumber, smaller Groot!!
  • OW! MY NIPPLES!

Groot[edit]

  • I am Groot.I am Grooooot
    • His only statement throughout the film, with various inflections.

Rocket[edit]

  • [Laughing at Taserface's name] I'm sorry. I am so sorry – I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, sir, looking in the mirror, and in all seriousness saying to yourself, You know what would be a really kick-ass name?! "TASERFACE!" [Laughs hysterically] That's how I hear you in my head! What was your second choice?! "SCROTUMHAT"?! [Groot and the Ravagers laugh]
  • He said, "Welcome to the frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy." Only he didn't use "frickin.'" [As he and Groot fly away] We're gonna have to have a serious talk about your language!

Yondu Udonta[edit]

  • [To Rocket] I ain't done nothing right my whole damn life, rat. You need to give me this.
  • He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy. I'm sorry I didn't do none of it right… I'm damn lucky you was my boy. [Last words, before sacrificing himself to save Star-Lord]

Ayesha[edit]

  • That, my child, is the next step in our evolution. More powerful, more beautiful – more capable of destroying the Guardians of the Galaxy. I think I shall call him … Adam.

Others[edit]

  • David Hasselhoff (aka Zardu Hasselfrau): In these times of hardship, just remember: WE ARE GROOT.
  • Zylak's Frenemy: You suck, Zylak.

Dialogue[edit]

Ayesha: We thank you, Guardians, for putting your lives on the line. We could not risk the lives of our own Sovereign citizens. Every citizen is born exactly as designed by the community. Impeccable: Both physically and mentally. We control the DNA of our progeny germinating them in birthing pods.
Peter Quill: Well, I guess I prefer to make people the old-fashioned way.
Ayesha: Perhaps someday, you could give me a history lesson in the archaic ways of our ancestors. For academic purposes.
Quill: I would be honored, yes. In the name of research. . . . I think that could be pretty. . . . repulsive. I'm not into that kind of casual.
Gamora: Oh, please. Your people promised something in exchange for our services. Bring it, and we shall gladly be on our way.
[The Sovereign guards bring a hooded figure into the courtroom. They pull back the hood to reveal Gamora's adopted sister, Nebula]
Quill: Family reunion. Yaaaay.
Ayesha: I understand that she is your sister?
Gamora: She's worth no more to me than the bounty due for her on Xandar.
Ayesha: Our soldiers apprehended her attempting to steal the batteries. Do with her as you, please.
Quill: We thank you, High Priestess Ayesha.
Ayesha: What is your heritage, Mr. Quill?
Quill: My mother is from Earth.
Ayesha: And your father?
Quill: He ain't from Missouri! That's all I know.
Ayesha: I see it within you. An unorthodox genealogy. A hybrid that seems particularly…reckless.
Rocket: You know, they told me you people were conceited douchebags. But that isn't true at all! [Rocket flashes a wink at Quill. A Sovereign guard aims his weapon at Rocket] Oh, shit, I'm using my wrong eye again, aren't I? [Drax pulls him up from his scruff] I'm sorry! That was meant to be behind your back.
Drax: [Putting Rocket down] Count yourself blessed they didn't kill you.
Rocket: You're tellin' me. [Shows Drax his stolen Anulax batteries] You wanna buy some batteries?

[Yondu is exiled from the Ravangers, whilst Udonta and Stakar Ogord get into an argument]
Yondu Udonta: You can go to Hell then!! I don't give a damn what you think of me!!
Stakar Ogord: So what are you following us for?!
Yondu: Are you gonna listen to what I gotta say?
Ogord: I don't gotta listen to nothing. You betrayed the code. Ravagers don't deal in kids!
Yondu: I told you before. I didn't know what was going on—
Ogord: You didn't know because you didn't want to know, because it made you rich.
Yondu: I demand a seat at the table. I wear these flames, same as you!
Ogord: You may dress like us, but you'll never hear the horns of freedom when you die, Yondu. And the colors of Ogord will never flash over your grave. If you think I take pleasure in exiling you…you're wrong. You broke all our hearts.

Ego: I hired Yondu to pick you up after your mother passed away. But, instead of returning you, Yondu kept you. I have no clue as to why.
Quill: I'll tell ya why: I was a skinny little kid who could slip into places adults couldn't, made it easier for thieving.
Ego: Well, I've been trying to track you down ever since.
Drax: I thought Yondu was your father.
Quill: What? You're trying to tell me that this whole time you thought Yondu was my actual blood relative?
Drax: [Mouthful] You look exactly alike!
Rocket: One's blue!
Quill: No, he's not my father! Yondu was the guy who abducted me, kicked the crap out of me so I could learn to fight. And, kept me in terror by threatening to eat me!
Ego: Eat you?!
Quill: Yeah!
Ego: Ugh, that son of a bitch!
Gamora: How'd you locate us now?
Ego: Well, even where I reside, out past the edge of what's known, we've heard tell about the man they call "Star-Lord". What say we head out there right now? Your associates are welcome. [Turns to Rocket] Even that triangle-faced monkey there.

Quill: Give me a break! After all this time, you're gonna show up, and all of a sudden you wanna be my dad?!
Gamora: I hear you.
Quill: And by the way, this could be a trap. The Kree purists, the Ravagers, they all want us dead.
Gamora: I know, but…
Quill: But what?
Gamora: What was that story you once told me about Zardu Hasselfrau?
Quill: Who?
Gamora: He owned a magic boat?
Quill: [Long pause]David Hasselhoff? Not a magic boat. A talking car.
Gamora: Why did he talk again?
Quill: To help him fight crime, and to be supportive!
Gamora: As a child, you would carry his picture in your pocket and you would tell all the other children that he was your father, but that he was out of town on business.
Quill: Shooting Knight Rider or touring with his band in Germany. I told you that when I was drunk. Why are you bringing that up now?
Gamora: I love that story.
Quill: I hate that story. It's so sad. As a kid, I used to see all the other kids off playing catch with their dad. And I wanted that, more than anything in the world!
Gamora: That's my point, Peter. What if this man is your David Hasselhoff? Listen, if he ends up being evil, we'll just kill him.

[Nebula is left in the Milano with Rocket and Groot whilst Gamora, Quill and Drax the Destroyer go with Ego and Mantis]
Nebula: You're leaving me with that fox?!
Gamora: He's not a fox. Shoot her if she does anything suspicious. Or if you feel like it.

Rocket: Hope Daddy isn't as big of a dick as you, Orphan Boy.
Quill: What is your goal here? To get everybody here to hate you? "Cause it's workin'.

Quill: Hey, can I ask you a personal question?
Mantis: [Shocked] No! No one has ever asked me a personal question!
Quill: Your antennae, what are they for?
Mantis: Their purpose?
Drax: Yes. Quill and I have a bet.
Quill: You're not supposed to say that…
Drax: I say: if you are about to go through a doorway that is too low, your antenna will feel this and keep you from being decapitated.
Quill: Right. And, if it's anything other than specifically being decapitated by a doorway, I win.
Mantis: They are not for feeling doorways! [Drax groans, and Quill pulls a victory fist] I think they have something to do with my emphatic abilities.
Gamora: What are those?
Mantis: If I touch someone, I can feel their feelings.
Quill: You read minds?
Mantis: No. Telepaths know thoughts. Empaths feel feelings, emotions. May I?
Quill: Alright.
Mantis: [Touches Quill's hand] You feel…love!
Quill: Yeah, I guess I feel a general, unselfish love for just about everybody around me…
Mantis: No, romantic, sexual love.
Quill: No. No, I don't.
Mantis: [Points at Gamora] For her!!
Quill: No! That is not…
[Beat as Gamora and Drax both stare at Quill]
Quill: [Drax bursts into uproariously loud laughter] …Okay. That's…
Drax: She just told everyone your deepest, darkest secret!
Quill: Dude, come on! I think you're overreacting a little bit.
Drax: You must be so embarrassed! [To Mantis] Do me! Do me, do me!
Mantis: [Touches Drax's chest and immediately starts laughing with him] I have never felt such humor!
Quill: So UNBELIEVABLY uncool.
Drax: Oh, Quill…
Gamora: [Giggling with laughter]
[Mantis walks over to touch Gamora, only for Gamora to grab Mantis' wrist]
Gamora: Touch me, and the only thing you're gonna feel is a broken jaw.
[After an uneasy silence]
Mantis: [After Gamora finally lets go of her wrist] I can … also alter emotions, to some extent.
Quill: [Thoroughly disgruntled] Like what?
Mantis: If I touch someone who is sad I can ease them into contentment, for a short while. I can make a stubborn person compliant. But I mostly use it to help my Master sleep. He lies awake at night, thinking about his progeny.
Drax: Do one of those on me!
Mantis: [She places, then touches Drax's head] Sleep.
[Drax immediately sleeps and proceeds to snore loudly]

Ego: [Shows his human body] Over millions of years, I learned to control the molecules around me. I grew smarter and stronger, and I continued building from there, layer by layer, the very planet you walk on now. But I wanted more. I desired meaning. There must be some life out there in the universe. Besides me, I thought. So, I set myself the task of finding it. I created what I thought biological life to be like, down to the most minute detail.
Drax: Did you make a penis?
Quill: Dude!
Gamora: What is wrong with you?!
Drax: If he's a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her.
Quill: I don't need to hear how my parents, uh…
Drax: Why? My father would tell the story of him impregnating my mother every winter solstice.
Quill: That's disgusting.
Drax: [Affronted] It was beautiful. You Earthers have hang-ups.
Ego: Yes, Drax…I've got a penis.
Drax: Ha! Thank you!
Ego: And it's not half-bad.
[Drax interestingly stares at Ego's groin]
Drax: Ahhh.
[Quill and Gamora look beyond grossed out]

Kraglin: Well, uh, here it is. It's the best ship we got; location of Ego's planet in the nav. We'll wire you the 10% once we's paid. What are you gonna do with your share?
Nebula: As a child, my father would have Gamora and me battle one another in training. Every time my sister prevailed, my father would replace a piece of me with machinery, claiming he wanted me to be "her equal". But she won: again, and again, and again - never once refraining! So after I murder my sister, I will buy a warship with every conceivable instrument of death. I will hunt my father like a dog, and I will tear him apart slowly, piece by piece, until he knows some semblance of the profound and unceasing pain I know EVERY! SINGLE! DAY!
Kraglin: …Yeah, I was talking about a pretty necklace…or a nice hat, you know. Something that makes the other girls go, "Oooooh, that's nice." Anyways, uh…happy trails.

Yondu: [To Groot] Pst! Hey, twig! Come'ere!
Rocket: Oh, man, what did they do to you?
Yondu: Hey, you want to help us get out of here? [Groot nods] There's something I need you to get, and bring back to me. In the Captain's quarters, there's a prototype fin. The thing I wore on my head. There's a drawer next to the bunk. It's in that. It's red. You got it?
[Groot nods and runs off excitedly. He returns with Yondu's underwear]
Yondu: That's my underwears.
Rocket: Yeah, I was pretty sure he didn't know what you were talking about. You have to explain it more carefully.
Yondu: [Sighs] It's a prototype fin.
[Groot returns with a squirming orloni]
Rocket: That's an Orloni. It's a fin, Groot.
Yondu: [Sighs] You explain it this time.
Rocket: Alright…
[Groot returns again with Vorker's prosthetic eye]
Yondu: That's Vorker's eye. He takes it out when he sleeps. Go, look again.
Rocket: But leave the eye here.
Yondu: Why?
Rocket: [Trying not to laugh] He's gonna wake up tomorrow... AND HE'S NOT GONNA KNOW WHERE HIS EYE IS!!!
[Groot returns again dragging a giant metal desk]
Rocket: That's a desk. We told you it was this big.
[Groot returns, holding a severed human toe]
Rocket: ... Tell me you guys have a refrigerator somewhere with a bunch of severed human toes. [Yondu shakes his head] Okay, then let's just agree never to discuss this.
Yondu: [Hands Groot his ravager badge] The drawer you want to open has this symbol on it, alright?
[Groot slowly puts the badge on his head]
Yondu: What?! No!
Rocket: He thinks you want him to wear it as a hat.
Yondu: That is not what I said!
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: He's relieved you don't want him to.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: He hates hats.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: On anyone, not just himself.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: One minute, you think someone has a weird shaped head, and then the next minute, it's just because you realize part of that head is the hat. [To Groot] That's why you don't like hats? [Groot nods]
Yondu: This is an important conversation right now?

Kraglin: [Comes up with Groot to hand Yondu the prototype fin] I didn't mean to do a mutiny. They killed all my friends.
Yondu: Get the third quadrant ready for release.
[Kraglin responds with a Ravager salute]
Rocket: One more thing. You got any clones of Quill's old music on the ship?
[Kraglin acts puzzled. Flash-cut shifts to some of Taserface's Ravagers starting to hear something and enter Rocket and Yondu's cell. They suddenly see Yondu sit in a chair with Rocket plugging the fin in his head. Right when the two Ravagers begin to act, Yondu whistles, commanding his telekinetic arrow to kill them and fly back to him as the song "Come a Little Bit Closer" by Jay & The Americans plays]

Gamora: [After saving Nebula, only to be a stranglehold] ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
Nebula: [Fights Gamora and chokes her while holding out the Godslayer, but ultimately doesn't kill her] I win. I win. I bested you in combat.
Gamora: No. I saved your life.
Nebula: Well, you were stupid enough to let me live.
Gamora: You let me live.
Nebula: I don't need you always trying to beat me!
Gamora: I'm not the one who just flew across the universe, just because I wanted to win.
Nebula: Do not tell me what I want.
Gamora: I don't need to tell you what you want, it's obvious!
Nebula: You're the one who wanted to win, and I just wanted a sister! You were all I had. But you were the one who needed to win. Thanos pulled my eye from my head, and my brain from my skull, and my arm from my body. Because of you.

Ego: Death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet.
Quill: I'm immortal?
Ego: Mmhmm.
Quill: Really?
Ego: Yes. As long as the light exists.
Quill: Like, I could use the light to build cool things, like how you made this whole planet?
Ego: Well, it might take a few million years of practice before you get really good at it. But yes.
Quill: WHAT?! Well, get ready for a eight hundred-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear!
Ego: Whatever you want.
Quill: I'm gonna make some weird shit!

Mantis: [Shaking Drax awake] Drax, Drax. Drax! Drax! We need to talk.
Drax: I'm sorry. But I like a woman with some meat on her bones.
Mantis: [Confused] What?
Drax: [With complete sincerity] I tried to let you down easily by telling you that you were disgusting.
Mantis: [Drax starts retching] What are you doing?
Drax: Ugh, I'm imagining…being with you physically.
Mantis: Drax, I don't like you like that. I don't even mate with the type of thing you are.
Drax: Hey! There's no need to get personal.
Mantis: Listen! Ego has gotten exactly what he wanted. I should have told you earlier. I am stupid. You are in danger.

Yondu: You can fool yourself and everyone else, but you can't fool me. I know who you are.
Rocket: You don't know anything about me, loser.
Yondu: I know everything about you. I know you play like you're the meanest and the hardest, but actually you're the most scared of all.
Rocket: Shut up!
Yondu: I know you steal batteries you don't need and you push away anyone who's willing to put up with you, 'cause just a little bit of love reminds you of how big and empty that hole inside you actually is!
Rocket: I said SHUT UP!
Yondu: I know them scientists what made you, never gave a rat's ass about you!
Rocket: I'm serious, dude!
Yondu: Just like my own damn parents, who sold me, their own little baby, into slavery! I know who you are, boy. Because you're me.
[A pause as the two stare at one another, each seeing himself in the other's eyes]
Rocket: [Almost sounding ashamed] … What kind of a pair are we?
Yondu: [Goes to the controls] The kind that's about to go and fight a planet, I reckon.
Rocket: [Starts to gear up for a fight] All right! Wait, fight a WHAT?!

Quill: You said you loved my mother.
Ego: And that, I did. My river lily who knew all the words to every song that came over the radio. I returned to Earth to see her three times. And I knew if I returned a fourth, I'd never leave. The Expansion … the reason for my very existence, would be over. So, I did what I had to do. But…it broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.
[Upon hearing this, Ego's control on Quill immediately wears off and he looks shell-shocked]
Quill: What?
Ego: Now, alright. I know that sounds bad--
[Quill continuously blasts Ego with his Quad Blasters, revealing the latter's insides]
Ego: Who in the hell do you think you are?!
Quill: [Enraged] YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!!!!!
Ego: [Forms into David Hasselhoff] I tried so hard to find the form that best SUITED YOU! And this is the thanks I get?! [changes back] You really need to grow up.
[He attacks Quill with an energy tentacle]
Ego: I wanted to do this together, but I suppose you'll have to learn by spending the next thousand years as a battery!

Rocket: You people have issues.
Quill: Well, of course I have issues! [Points at a reforming, screaming Ego] That's my frickin' father!

Rocket: [Walking Groot through atomic bomb detonation] All right, first you flip this switch, then this one. That activates it. Then you push this button, which will give you five minutes to get outta there. [Groot stares blankly] Now, whatever you do, don't push this button, because that will set off the bomb immediately and we'll all be dead. Now, repeat back what I just said.
Groot: I am Groot. [Translating; "I flip the first switch."]
Rocket: Uh-huh.
Groot: I am Groot. [Translating; "Then the second one."]
Rocket: That's right.
Groot: [Points to the death button] I am Groot. [Translating; "And then... this button, right?"]
Rocket: NO! No, that's the button that will kill everyone. Try again.
Groot: Hm. I am Groot… [Translating; "I do the first switch."]
Rocket: Mmhm.
Groot: I am Groot. [Translating; "Then the second."]
Rocket: Uh-huh.
Groot: [Points at the death button…again] ... I am Groot. [Translating; "Then... this button?"]
Rocket: NO!!! That's exactly what you just said! How's that even possible? Which button is the one you're supposed to push? Point to it! [Groot points at death button...once again] NO!!!
Quill: [From skylight] Hey, you're makin' him nervous!
Rocket: Shut up and give me some tape! Does anyone have any tape out there?! I wanna put some tape over the Death Button!
Quill: I don't have any tape, lemme check! [Jetpacks away] Yo, Yondu! Do you have a- do you have any tape? [Pause] Gamora! Do you have any tape? TAPE! Ah, never mind! Drax! Do you have any tape??? ... Yeah! Scotch tape would work! What?! Then why would you ask me if scotch tape would work, if you don't have any?!?! [Reappears] Nobody has any tape!
Rocket: Not a single person has tape?!
Quill: Nope!
Rocket: Did you ask Nebula?
Quill: [Thinks] Yes!
Rocket: Are you sure?!
Quill: I asked Yondu, and she was standing right next to him!
Rocket: I knew you were lying!
Quill: You have priceless batteries and an atomic bomb in your bag! If anybody's gonna have tape, it's YOU!
Rocket: That's exactly my point! I have to do everything!
Quill: You are wasting a lot of time here!
[Groot, holding the bomb, slides away down a rock tunnel]
Rocket: ... We're all gonna die.

Ego: Stop. Listen to me! You are a God. If you kill me, you'll be just like everyone else!
Quill: What's so wrong with that?
Ego: [Screams in agony] NOOO!!!
[The bomb with anulax batteries stolen from Rocket goes off and then destroys Ego's core, disintegrating him into ashes]

Quill: [Yondu floats in the air hanging on his arrow] You look like Mary Poppins!
Yondu: Is he cool?
Quill: [Grins] ... Hell, yeah, he's cool.
Yondu: I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!

Gamora: Nebula, I was a child like you, trying to live day by day, not knowing or understanding what that meant to you. There are many other girls out there, like us. You can stay with us, and help them.
Nebula: I will help them, by killing Thanos.
Gamora: I don't know if that's possible.
[Nebula goes to leave, only for Gamora to stop her from doing so. Nebula gets ready to fight, only to stop once she realises that's not what Gamora's trying to do]
Gamora: You will always be my sister.
[Gamora embraces Nebula in a hug. She stiffens up at first, then eventually hugs Gamora back, before finally departing]

Rocket: [About Yondu] He didn't chase them away.
Quill: No.
Rocket: [On Yondu's former Ravager teammates] Even though he yelled at them, he was always mean, and stole batteries he didn't need. [Bows head in shame]
Quill: [Looks down at Rocket] Well, of course not.
[Gamora looks up at him, who looks back down at her curiously]
Quill: What?
Gamora: It's just … some unspoken thing.
[Quill gives her a small and smug "I told you so" smirk. She wraps her arm around his waist as he wraps his arm around her shoulders]
Mantis: It's beautiful.
Drax: It is. And so are you … on the inside.

[Mid-credits scene 1: After Yondu's funeral, Stakar Ogord and some of his old friends from the Ravagers reunite]
Stakar Ogord: You know, it's a shame that it took the tragedy of losing Yondu to bring us all together again. But I think he would be proud knowing that we're back as a team.
Charlie-27: I'm in.
Martinex: Dope.
Mainframe: I missed you guys so much!
Aleta Ogord: Hell. Yes.
[Another Ravager, Krugarr, fabricates 2 thumbs up]
Stakar Ogord: What say we go steal some shit?

[Mid-credits scene 2ː Ayesha is in her chamber, viewing her creation, when her chambermaid walks in]
Chambermaid: High Priestess, the Council is waiting.
Ayesha: They are perturbed I’ve wasted our resources. When they see what I have created here… their wrath will dissipate.
Chambermaid: It’s a new type of birthing pod, ma’am?
Ayesha: That, my child… is the next step in our evolution. More powerful, more beautiful… more capable of destroying the Guardians of the Galaxy. [We see an advanced birth pod] I think I shall call him... Adam.

[Mid-credits scene 3ː Quill walks into Groot's room, who is playing a video game, and sees that vines are all over the place]
Quill: Ugh, dude. Seriously? You gotta clean up your room. It’s a complete mess.
Groot: I am Groot.
Quill: I am not boring. You’re boring. You know what’s boring? Sitting there, playing that mind-numbing game. What’s boring is me tripping over your vines every day! I’m not boringǃ
Groot: I am Groot.
Quill: And now I know how Yondu felt.

[Post-credits scene: The Watchers listen to their informant, only to walk away]
Watcher Informant]: Hey, fellas. Wait, where are you going? You were supposed to be my lift home. How will I get out of here? Hey! Aw, gee… I’ve got so many more stories to tell. Aw, guys. Oh, gee…

Taglines[edit]

  • This summer, the galaxy won't save itself.
  • Obviously.
  • Anyone can save the galaxy once.
  • You only get one chance to save the galaxy twice.

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]