JAG (season 1)
JAG (1995–2005), is an American TV series about fictional events at the Navy's Judge Advocate General's Corps. JAG is an elite legal wing of officers trained as lawyers who investigate, prosecute and defend those accused of crimes in the military, including murder, treason and terrorism. Most of the stories focus on the highs and lows of Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., a hot-shot fighter pilot-turned lawyer who brings his fly-boy mentality to the courtroom, and Lieutenant Junior Grade Meg Austin, a tough, by-the-book Marine who often clashes with him, in and out of the courtroom.
A New Life [1.01–02]
[edit]- CAPT Boone (CAG): Chief, if I bagged a Klingon I believe you would know what flag to paint on her.
- CPO Ned Bannon: Klingons are easy, sir. Now a Romulan warship, that might be a problem. They're invisible.
- CAPT Ross: You have whoever sent that message to CNIC-Med on my quarterdeck by sunset, Mr. Rubin, or you'll spend the rest of your tour sending semaphore to Eskimos.
- LT Kate Pike: I am 27 years old, a Harvard law school graduate, and a lieutenant in the same navy as you. Don't treat me as anything less!
- LT Kate Pike: Those wings look good on you.
- Lt Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, you know what they say about gold wings and dress whites. They'll get you in bed anywhere.
- LT Kate Pike: Except here.
- CAPT. Boone (CAG): You don't like female pilots, do you, son?
- LT Jack 'Ripper' Carter: No sir, I do not.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): Neither do I. Don't believe they have the stomach for battle.
- LT Jack 'Ripper' Carter: You got that right, CAG.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): But if one of my LSOs ever intentionally waved a pilot off because she was a female, I'd keelhaul him.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): We will be flying a Tomcat that has been modified for re-con and training missions. There's a complete set of controls in your cockpit. But if you touch anything other than your personal joystick, I will eject you over the Adriatic and forget where I did it.
- LT Kate Pike: (about the CAG) What gives him the right to decide who belongs up there and who doesn't?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Twenty-five years and a thousand traps.
- LT Kate Pike: You're FLYING?!?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You really know how to build a guy's confidence, Kate.
- (After making a night trap in a damaged Tomcat with an injured pilot)
- CPO Ned Bannon: He's breathing.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That makes one of us.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Before this gets embarrassing for both of us, you don't have to thank me.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): Thank you for what? You're a naval aviator, I damn well expected you to get us back.
Shadow [1.03]
[edit]- LTJG Meg Austin: Kate sends her regrets.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You know Kate?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Well enough for her to warn me, sir.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: About what?
- LTJG Meg Austin: That's privileged information, Lieutenant.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I can decipher computer codes in as little as 30 seconds, sir.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And as long as?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Three days, but that was in Chinese.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I thought nuclear subs were big.
- LCDR Scott: Those are the Boomers and missile boats. We're in a tag boat; small, compact.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (bumps head) And deadly to anyone over 5'2"
- Weapons Officer: What'd you fly, Lieutenant?
- Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Tomcats
- Weapons Officer: From Tomcats to JAG?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I broke one. They wouldn't give me another one.
- Dirk Grover: We're not at the rendezvous?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No, Mr. Grover. You do not pass 'Go', you do not collect $40 million. You go straight to jail.
Desert Son [1.04]
[edit]- LTJG. Meg Austin: I have to plead Article 5 of the code of conduct.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Name, rank, serial number, and date of birth?
- LTJG Meg Austin: It's the closest thing to an "I can't tell you how I'm how I'm gonna do it" article, sir.
Deja Vu [1.05]
[edit]- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: We were just talking.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Harm, you and I are just talking. You and she were tangoing across the dance floor half-naked, one foot in the nearest bedroom.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And you got all that from a "Pleasure to meet you, too, Lieutenant?" Amazing.
- (Meg is getting dressed for the evening in a short red dress and heels while talking to Harm on the phone.)
- LTJG Meg Austin: I'm on my way to meet Detective Axelrood.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Using your human approach?
- LTJG Meg Austin: That's right.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Meaning you're wearing a dress.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Don't think you know me that well, because you don't. I'll be so subtle by the time I work my way around to asking for the file he'll barely notice.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Is it a red dress?
Pilot Error [1.06]
[edit]- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sorry we're late, sir, we were misdirected.
- James Reid: Is that a pilot's way of saying 'lost'?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Pilots don't get lost, Mr. Reid, just momentarily disoriented.
- LTJG Meg Austin: You sound like my dad.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Uh-oh. I'm in trouble when you start comparing me to your father.
- LTJG Meg Austin: My brother?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Even worse.
- LT Tess McKee: Marines. You know, they're the only species on the planet that will develop a crush on you if you punch them out?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Five traps?!?!
- LT Moore: It's what Lieutenant Pendry did the morning of his flight.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That's like preparing for a football game with five boxing matches.
- (after a rough carrier landing)
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sorry, I'm a little rusty.
- LT Tess McKee: You're not rusty, Lieutenant, you're corroded.
- (Four landings later…)
- LT Tess McKee: Thank God that's over, you're making me wish I'd joined the Air Force!
War Cries [1.07]
[edit]- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: If security gets any tighter, they'll be strip searching us.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I wouldn't get my hopes up, sir.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Would you be saying this if I were a man?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes. But if you were a man, you'd have some explaining to do about the way you fill out that uniform.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Looked more like intimidation.
- GySgt Granger: Well, the enemy can be pretty damed intimidating.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'm a lawyer, Cortez. No one is ever glad to see me.
- Ambassador Bartlett: Is this vest thick enough, Gunney?
- GySgt. Granger: Oh, it's top of the line, all-spectra Guardian vest, ma'am. It will stop a 9mm round at point-blank range.
- Ambassador Bartlett: What if someone aims at my head?
- GySgt Granger: Duck, ma'am.
Brig Break [1.08]
[edit]- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Our first priority is the safety of the hostage.
- Maj Aspinal: My first priority is to bring escaped prisoners under control. For all I know, that hostage is dead!
- LT Kate Pike: He's right, sir!
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb & Major Aspinal: Who's right?!?!
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You give me one good reason why two of us should be doing this?
- LT Kate Pike: They might not shoot a woman as quickly as a man.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Ok, you negotiate. (Hands over the white flag, turns to leave.)
- LT Kate Pike: (stops him) I'm not that big a feminist.
- LTJG Meg Austin: You're bleeding to death! (Removes his belt to use as a tourniquet)
- PO Peter Quinn: Lieutenant, we barely know each other.
- (The three officers are frantically trying to disarm a bomb.)
- LTJG Meg Austin: We're looking for a 5 digit code with a 7.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How much time?
- LTJG Meg Austin: 7 minutes. Funny, huh?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb & Lt. Kate Pike: No!
- Lt. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Who was right?
- LTJG Meg Austin: I don't think the wrong one would want you to know that, sir.
Scimitar [1.09]
[edit]- LT Dumai: Do you respect no man?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Respect, yes. Fear, no.
- Colonel Ahmad Al-Barzan: How can work compare to the caresses of a man you love?
- LTJG Meg Austin: I wasn't comparing them, Colonel. You were.
- Colonel Ahmad Al-Barzan: A woman like you needs a strong hand.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I already have a strong hand. My own.
- LT Dumai: You think that you are superior to me because men treat you as an equal.
- LT J.G. Meg Austin: No. And not all men treat me as an equal. I just don't accept the behavior of those who don't as correct.
- LT Dumai: Have you ever heard of Babylon?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Of course. Everyone's heard of ancient Babylon. The Tower, and the Hanging Gardens….
- LT Dumai: It is 3000 years old and we have other cities even older, and how old is America?
- LTJG Meg Austin: A little over 200 years.
- LT Dumai: Your country is like a child who has learned nothing yet thinks it knows everything. Let your civilization survive its first thousand years; then perhaps we'll begin to listen.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Even the young have something of value to offer.
- LT Dumai: But is it not for the old to decide if they want accept it?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Yes.
- LT Dumai: Then why do you try so hard to push your ways on me?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Because I can't stand to see anyone denied their human right.
- Harm: It’s just like Stagecoach!
- David: Uh huh, with John Wayne.
- Meg: John Wayne was being chased by Iraqis?
- Harm: Indians.
- David: Right in the middle of Monument Valley.
- Meg: Bet they didn’t have a woman with them.
- Harm: You’d bet wrong! They had a woman a lot like you. Claire Trevor.
- David: Yep. Prostitute Duke fell for.
- Meg: Are you comparing me to a prostitute?
- David: Uh, no ma'am, I didn't say that!
- Harm: I did! And I meant she was spunky.
- Meg: 'Spunky' doesn't cut it, sir.
- Harm: How about pretty?
Boot [1.10]
[edit]- CDR Ted Lindsey: That's what I told them. That occasionally circumstances dictate that we have to act beyond the courtroom. Then State wanted to look at your cases for the past few months, and wanted to know if staging jailbreaks in Iraq, flying missions in F-14s, and recovering stolen nuclear weapons qualified as "occasionally."
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, they say the Navy is not just a job, it's an adventure.
- Sergeant Carrington: You must satisfy me, or you will never leave this island. And don't get any bright ideas. Because we have a swamp so deep, it will take you down quicker than your boyfriend.
- Private Johnson: My man's out there, ain't no swamp gonna stop me.
- Private Johnson: Next time you screw up, you and I are gonna have a little night visit.
- Private Whitley: Leave her alone.
- Private Johnson: You want some of me? (Silence) That's what I thought. (to Meg) You straight?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Uh-huh. Are you?
- Sergeant Carrington: A Marine should always be alert. I will demonstrate why. (Pushes Meg into a mud pit)
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Staff Sergeant Carrington, I'd like you to meet Lieutenant JG Austin,
- Sergeant Carrington: (Surprised look) Ma'am.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I know it wasn't personal. You were just doing your job.
- Sergeant Carrington: Yes ma'am, that's because I thought Private McEntire had a future in the military. I just didn't realize how right I was. Ma'am.
Sightings [1.11]
[edit]- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: My four bits.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I never understood bits.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It comes from the old Spanish dollar, pieces of eight. Two bits to a quarter, four bits, fifty cents, my fifty cents which is in your pocket.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I bet you go Dutch on dates.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You expect the spaceships to be lined up along the tarmac?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Very funny.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Seriously. If there was a race advanced enough to travel millions of light-years to Earth, I truly doubt we could catch them, no matter how much we wanted to.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I counted the beams. There are at least five of them out there.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Five what?
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Men. Those are targeting beams.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Targeting beams are red.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, maybe they don't like red
- LTJG Meg Austin: Or can't see red.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Cathy, did they come in a, uh…
- LTJG Meg Austin: You can't even say it. A spaceship.
- Cathy Gold: If they did that, they wouldn't be ghosts, they'd be aliens!
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do I write this up, Meg?
- LTJG Meg Austin: By the book.
- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You really want me to enter that you first thought we were dealing with a UFO full of little green men?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Shut up and drive. Sir.
The Brotherhood [1.12]
[edit]- LT Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That's a little crazy even for a Marine.
- LTJG. Meg Austin: Nothing's too crazy for Marines.
- Captain Overton: That piece of crap will blow your hand off if you pop it, the barrel's full of dirt.
- (Tyler goes to check it.)
- Captain Overton: Oh, that's smart, look down the barrel of a loaded pistol.
- Reaper: Top Gun and Snowflake have arrived.
- Reaper: 'Be all that you can be.'
- (Shoots Tyler's gun, it explodes in his hand.)
- Captain Overton: That's the Army slogan, Lefty.
- Tyler Hanson: Call me T.
- GySgt Cane: I will call you a lot of names, boy, but it will not be 'T'.
Defensive Action [1.13]
[edit]- CPO Ned Bannon: (of carrier aviation) You still miss it don't you, sir?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Only when I'm back onboard. Or see a jet. Shaving in the morning, in my dreams, eating a pizza, watching a movie…
- CDR Alison Krennick: If I were you, talking hypothetically, of course, I'd be asking for a deal.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I'm not, but since we're talking hypothetically, what would that deal be?
- CDR Alison Krennick: CAG resigns, admits his responsibility, court-martial never happens.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): You can go to hell. Hypothetically.
- Commander Alison Krennick: Does the Crusader's profile look anything like that of a MiG?
- CAPT Boone (CAG): No it does not.
- CDR Alison Krennick: But that's what the pilot saw. He is in enemy airspace, and having encountered MiGs earlier in the day, his brain turned your Crusader into a MiG.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): He was an Air Force pilot.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): Gentlemen, since I am not a lawyer, I'll be brief.
- Commander Alison Krennick: Good God, we're dealing with Abe Lincoln.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): I am a naval aviator. With 11000 flying hours, 908 of which were in combat. I know gunfire when I see it; I did not imagine it. The Hind was firing at my men while they hung helpless in their chutes. What I did, I would do again without hesitation even if doing so meant ending my naval career. God knows it is not a career I wish to end, that will happen soon enough. But better that than to break the sacred trust between an officer and those he commands to do what ever is in his power to protect them, not only when such action is obvious or politically correct, but even when it is sure to be unpopular and questioned. The day that I can no longer live up to that trust you will not have to ask for my resignation, gentleman, it will be tendered without hesitation.
- LTJG Meg Austin: I'd love to see the faces of the three officers who voted guilty when they hear about this.
- CDR Alison Krennick: No way of knowing who they are.
- CAPT Boone (CAG): Oh, I know who they are.
- CDR Alison Krennick: You do?
- CAPT Boone (CAG): Hell yes, I do.
- LTJG Meg Austin: How would he know?
- LTJG Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: He's the CAG!
Smoked [1.14]
[edit]- LTJG Meg Austin: All they have to do is download five chips and they'll have what makes the Tomcat so lethal.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: The pilot?
- CDR Alison Krennick: Your wings are glinting, Commander.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Sir, the Secretary wants to know why we're not turning back.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: He told me to land at the nearest field, it's in Cuba.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Harm, he'll have a heart attack!
- Havana Approach: (over radio) 7-Zulu, I repeat, what is the nature of your emergency?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Havana, 7-Zulu. We have a medical emergency, a passenger is going into cardiac arrest!
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I wouldn't flash a yellow, I'd go straight to red around here.
- Captain Carlos Fuente: I assume the commander was referring to a stoplight. And this stoplight has something to do with sexual advances?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Why would you think that?
- Captain Carlos Fuente: A warning from a man to a woman left alone with another man usually does.
- LTJG Meg Austin: It's part our Navy sexual sensitivity training. It's an inoffensive way to signal a male when his speech or behavior is inappropriate.
- Captain Carlos Fuente: The most powerful Navy in the world actually teaches this kindergarten approach to sex?
- LTJG Meg Austin: It works.
- Captain Carlos Fuente: Lieutenant...
- LTJG Meg Austin: Sometimes.
- Captain Carlos Fuente: And are Navy women permitted to signal green lights?
- LTJG Meg Austin: I suppose so.
- Captain Carlos Fuente: And what would I have to do to get a green light, Lieutenant Austin?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Yellow light, Captain Fuente.
- Lt. Cdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You said anything I asked!
- Raoul: I've got a big mouth!
- Assistant Secretary of State David Bair: How did you sabotage it?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: With a Navy-issue 34-inch brass-tipped cinch.
- Assistant Secretary of State David Bair: What the hell is that?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: My belt.
Hemlock [1.15]
[edit]- Hemlock: I'm afraid your Lieutenant Commander is in for some rough seas.
- LTJG Meg Austin: He's a survivor, sir.
- Hemlock: We'll see.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Sir?
- (Hemlock shoots Meg in the head)
- Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Steal their thunder! S.O.B. comes in here and shoots one of my officers, I want him stuffed and put in my trophy room. And I want us to do it.
- CDR Alison Krennick: Something wrong?
- Computer Hacker: (looking at Krennick's chest) Are those real or did you, uh, buy them?
- CDR Alison Krennick: Original equipment. Inherited from my grandmother.
- Computer Hacker: My grandmother, uh, left me this place. But I like what yours, uh, left you, uh, better.
- CDR Alison Krennick: So do I.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Hey, Harm.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Hi, Meg.
- LTJG Meg Austin: How was lunch?
High Ground [1.16]
[edit]- GySgt Ray Crockett: See, I know things, sir. For instance, I know you are either a cross-dressing weirdo, or you work real close with a woman. (sniffs) Perfume. Nice one. French, I'd say. Chanel.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Imagine one person killing 163 men.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yeah, well, it's real easy to imagine if you've ever fired a Tomahawk missile in combat.
- CDR Alison Krennick: I've planned an officers' retreat at Admiral Chegwidden's beach house on Hilton Head. I expect you to attend.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I may have to send my regrets to the admiral.
- CDR Alison Krennick: Actually, the admiral won't be there. Just you and me.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: For 27 years the Corps asked Crockett to put his soul in storage, and perform a duty which few men are capable of. I submit it is time to give Crockett the space his soul needs to find some peace. sir.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Still don't remember him, do you, Gunny?
- GySgt Ray Crockett: Commander, a Gunnery Sergeant don't tell a two-star he don't remember him.
Black Ops [1.17]
[edit]- Senator Grace Marion: My son was destined for more than a 6x3 plot at Arlington.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: They all were, ma'am.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I guess you really do have to be crazy to be a SEAL.
- LT Alexander Kellogue: It's no crazier than ejecting from a cockpit with a rocket up your butt, sir.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Maybe not, but I only do that when I don't have a choice.
- Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: My name is Admiral Chegwidden. I am the Judge Advocate General of the United States Navy. Before I leave this hangar, I will know the why and the how of Lieutenant Douglas Marion's death, or Commander Rabb, here, is gonna have your ass... and I'm gonna own your soul.
- LTJG Meg Austin: No death is useless, they all serve a purpose. Even if in our grief, it eludes us.
- (just before a parachute jump into the ocean)
- LT Alexander Kellogue: By the way, Commander Rabb, can you swim?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Now's a hell of a time to ask!
Survivors [1.18]
[edit]- Joyce Anderson: Arresting Matt could ruin his career.
- Divorce Lawyer: Mrs. Anderson, most ex-wives would pay me double for that.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: So far defending Striker's buddy has cost me $350 for a new suit, 12 days of leave time, and a bruised ego.
Recovery [1.19]
[edit]- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: The space program likes Navy pilots. We make their best astronauts.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Right, I think I read that somewhere in Kepler's laws of planetary motion.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Hey, all I need to say is the first American in outer space was not an Air Force jock. They put up a man who knew how to make a trap.
- LTJG Meg Austin: Then why was the first man in orbit a Marine?
- LTJG Meg Austin: (re: Apollo 11) I bet there were a lot of future astronauts recruited that night.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yeah, bet there were. What do you remember about it?
- LTJG Meg Austin: Nothing. I was a baby.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Seems perverted to rig an aerodynamic bird like this to fly like an anvil.
- (after a frightening 'dead stick' landing of a sabotaged aircraft)
- LCDR Mark Lowrey: You know, on a scale of one to ten, I gave you a 3.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That high?
- Maj Russell: You know the guy who is responsible for your STA problems?
- LCDR. Mark Lowrey: I hope not personally.
- Maj Russell: Lieutenant Commander Rabb thinks he may have done something to the capture arm.
- LCDR Mark Lowrey: Terrific.
The Prisoner [1.20]
[edit]- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Harm. Harmon Rabb. I'm a Lieutenant Commander in the United States navy.
- (laughter)
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What's so funny?
- Voice: You tell Colonel Han, I've been here too long to play a game like this anymore.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Why are you saying that?
- Voice: Because I'm Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, US Navy.
- Voice: Remember what I used to tell you when you were little?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Always address adults as 'sir' or 'ma'am' and never play with matches?
- Voice: And that our instincts are always right, we just learn to ignore them.
- Colonel Yung-Chi: I am not Han. My name is Colonel Yung-Chi. I replaced Colonel Han ten years ago.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Ten years ago?
- Colonel Yung-Chi: Yes. Who told you about Colonel Han?
- (Harm turns back towards the border)
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: My father.
Ares [1.21]
[edit]- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Eager to get out, more like. I didn't feel safe from any last minute assignments until I was on the plane.
- LT Kate Pike: A false sense of security.
- LT Kate Pike: I have become an expert at turning temporary assignments into semi-permanent exile
- Lieutenant Donovan: (re: Ares control system) It can practically run the whole ship.
- LT Kate Pike: Why even keep the crew on board?
- Lieutenant Donovan: We have a good union.
- LCDR Gino Campisano: I walk out of here, or he dies.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Try it. I don't like him, anyway. What's it gonna be?
- (Rabb shoots Campisano)
- CDR Dennis Brockman: You could have killed me!
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Would you rather he had killed you?
- Flight Attendant: (over intercom) Paging passenger Rabb, Lieutenant Commander Rabb, please press your call button.
- LT Kate Pike: I think I hear duty calling.
- LT Cdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No!
- Flight Attendant: (over intercom) Lieutenant Commander Rabb, please press your call button so the flight attendant can locate you. You have an emergency message.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No! (off Kate's look) (jabs call button)
Skeleton Crew [1.22]
[edit]- Editor: JAG was canceled by NBC before the second half of this intended two-part episode could be produced. When the show was revived by CBS, this cliffhanger was ignored until "Death Watch".
- ENS Bud Roberts: We can get eggs and pancakes on the ship, I don't know why you want to pay for them at the diner.
- CPO Ned Bannon: Mr. Roberts, if you have to ask that that after 6 months at sea I can't explain it to you.
- Special Agent Brian Turque: You can't investigate the murder of your girlfriend.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How about my sister?
- Special Agent Brian Turque: She was your sister?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No, but that's a better way to describe our relationship, and I'm not leaving her murder investigation to someone who jumps to conclusions as fast as you.
- Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Nobody pulls a JAG officer off an investigation except me or God, and He hasn't asked.
- CDR Alison Krennick: I've always maintained that there is no such thing as a platonic relationship between a healthy man and woman, unless one of them is gay and the other is neutered.
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Diane and I never slept together.
- CDR Alison Krennick: What were you going to do all weekend, play gin?
- LCDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Red light, Commander.
- CDR Alison Krennick: My God, I think you really mean it.
