JAG (season 7)

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JAG (1995–2005), is an American TV series about fictional events at the Navy's Judge Advocate General's Corps. JAG is an elite legal wing of officers trained as lawyers who investigate, prosecute and defend those accused of crimes in the military, including murder, treason and terrorism. Most of the stories focus on the highs and lows of Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., a hot-shot fighter pilot-turned lawyer who brings his fly-boy mentality to the courtroom, and Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, a tough, by-the-book Marine who often clashes with him, in and out of the courtroom.

Adrift: Part 2 [7.1][edit]

LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Can I try, doctor? He knows me.
Medical Bay Doctor: Get him talking.
LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Harm. Harm! Harm. Harm, It's cold down here. And I need you. I can't do it all by myself. Help me Harm, come on, You promised you'd help me. I'm holding you to that. I can't swim very well. You have to help me!
Medical Bay Doctor: Temperature's still dropping!
LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: [machine beat] Commander can you hear me!
Nurse: [machine beat] He's bradycardic.
LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Take that thing off! Take it off!
[Nurse removes oxygen mask]
LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: [getting very close to Harm's face] Save me.
CDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: [in a faint raspy voice] I'm... trying.
Nurse: Pulse rate's up.
LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Don't let go. Don't let go!
CDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: Hi.
LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Hi yourself. Keep talking!
CDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: I... can't... breathe.
LT Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: Oh, I'm sorry... [withdraws her body]
CDR Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr: Have we dated?

Measure of Men [7.3][edit]

AJ: Tiner.
Tiner: Sir.
AJ: What do you know about teenage girls?
Tiner: They look good in shorts, sir.
AJ: Dismissed.

Dog Robber, part 1 [7.9][edit]

General: I was just writing the funeral oration for Lieutenant Li.
Boone: Well, I would consider it an honour if you would read it to us, general.
General: ‘Like an eagle he soared above the clouds, as light as a feather in the breeze, until his life was snuffed out like a candle in the wind.’ I think I will amend that last.
Harm: A little too much Elton John, huh, general?
General: Precisely.

Capital Crime [7.12][edit]

Sturgis: You’re right about Tiner’s coffee. It tastes like battery acid.
Mac: You should have tried it before he knew the pot required a filter.

Sturgis: I’m sure she’s got a good reason for being late.
Mac: Yeah, well, she’s been early every other time. It’s already 11:18.
Sturgis: How do you that, colonel?
Mac: Do what?
Sturgis: Know the precise time without looking at your watch.
Mac: Internal clock, I guess.
Sturgis: Then why wear a watch?
Mac: It usually saves me from having to answer, “How do you do that?”

(Discussing Harm and Mac)
Sturgis: There seems to be a certain tension with you two.
Mac: Some.
Sturgis: A lot.
Mac: Look y-you're missing the point, Sturgis.
Sturgis: Come on, Mac.
Mac: I've never slept with him.
Sturgis: Is that the problem?
Mac: There is no problem.
Sturgis: Then why don't you just get over it and move on?
(Mac gets up out of her chair and moves to the door and closes it)
Mac: It wouldn't work.
Sturgis: Why?
Mac: Because I'm in love with him. (a long pause) Did I say that? (Mac sighs. Another long pause while Mac moves to a chair beside Sturgis and sits down) You have to keep that to yourself.
Sturgis: Okay.
Mac: I mean it, Sturgis.
Sturgis: So do I.

Odd Man Out [7.14][edit]

Harm: Lieutenant Roberts, you know both the lieutenant colonel and myself. Which of us do you like better?
(Bud stares at him.)
Judge: I’ll take this one, Commander. Lieutenant, do you have any particular relationship with one or the other of these people?
Bud: Well, the Commander is the godfather to my son, sir. But on the other hand, the colonel is his godmother.
Judge: That’s even handed of you, lieutenant. But is there anything that would prejudice you against Commander Rabb or Colonel MacKenzie?
Bud: Commander Rabb did try to put my father in jail. But that is his job. And Colonel MacKenzie took me off a case where I was co-counsel. But I kind of deserved that. Also...
Judge: Lieutenant. Given your relationship with both attorneys, can you be objective?
Bud: Absolutely, sir.

'Harm: ['Flying a F-14 Tomcat above the Superbowl dome.] Well, it's no 50-yard line, but it's still a hell of a view. And we have the play-by-play on CBS Radio. Could have pulled worse duty than flying cover, eh, Skates? ince we're up here, what do you say we take a picture for the folks back home?
Skates: Just point and shoot.
Skates: [After Harm inverts and reverts the F-14 Tomcat.] Whoo! All right!

Exculpatory Evidence [7.17][edit]

AJ: Since when did my office become a production of Hello Dolly.
Harm: (To Sturgis.) It’s about a matchmaker.
Sturgis: You think I live under a rock?

AJ: (To the whole JAG office.) If there’s any more interest in my personal life, I’ll have the guilty party skinned! And for the record, I like to eat alone!

First Casualty [7.19][edit]

Bud: Oversleeping. Soiled uniform. Attempted cursing? How is that even possible?
Jen: He got half the word out, sir.

Port Chicago [7.20][edit]

Mac: I need to ask you both a question. If you murder co-counsel in the courtroom, can you cop an insanity plea?
Harriet: Absolutely.
Harm: Yes.
Mac: Thought so.

Tribunal [7.21][edit]

Admiral Chegwidden: I didn't know you were on board.
Clayton Webb: I'm not.

Harm: I've prosecuted too many cases to remember, but this is the one time if the accused had got off...I'd have killed him myself.

In Country [7.23][edit]

(Harm and Mac have just survived a landmine incident)
Harm: Are you okay?
Mac: Yeah. Fine. You?
Harm: Yeah…thanks, Mac. That took guts.
Mac: You would have done the same for me.
Harm: Yeah, well the navy doesn't teach us tricks like that.
Mac: Neither does the Marine Corps. I saw it in a movie.
Harm: You saw it in a movie?
Mac: Yup. (She walks off.)
Harm: They don’t use real booby traps in movies.
Mac: Come on.
Harm: They make things up! Mac!

Harm: You know, if you want, I could call down to the front desk and ask them to send up a room divider.
Mac: I thought you’d want your own space.
Harm: How much more space do I need, Mac?
Mac: Well, fine. (She shuffles a little closer.)
Harm: You know, Mac, the temperature is gonna continue to drop, so if we don’t share body heat, we’re risking hypothermia.
Mac: You make it sound so inviting.
Harm: You want an invitation?
Mac: Yes.
Harm: Why don’t you come over here? It’s a little bit better than sleeping with scorpions.
Mac: All right.

Harriet: How about you and I forget that we’re lieutenants for five minutes? Just you and me.
Singer: And then what?
(Harriet walks into the office behind them. Singer follows. Harriet closes the blinds, and there is a loud thump. Harriet leaves the office clutching her hand.)
Tiner: Excuse me, lieutenant. Are you all right, ma’am?
Harriet: Perfect.

AJ: Lieutenant, what happened to your face?
Singer: I believe the proper response is I walked into a door.
AJ: Would you like to make a more formal response?
Singer: Yes, sir, I most definitely will respond, but not in any way that would require the admiral’s attention.
AJ: Carry on.

Enemy Below [7.24][edit]

Mac: Harm? You ever thought about how you want to go?
Harm: No. Look, this thing is fixed. Let’s pack up and get out of here, huh?
Mac: I want to die like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Harm: Oh yeah? Well, which one am I gonna be then?
Mac: Butch, of course.
Harm: Well, that’s true he was the brains of the operation.
Mac: Yeah, but Sundance was the shooter that everyone was afraid of. That’s how I want to go in a blaze of glory against impossible odds.

Turner: With you permission Admirals, I’d like to volunteer for TAD aboard the Watertown.
Adm. Holt: Commander, as much as I respect your service as a submariner, Commander Flagler is perfectly capable.
Turner: And I don’t mean to imply that he isn’t, sir. Only that I am Alec Baldwin.
(Everyone turns to stare at him)
Holt: Excuse me?
Turner: The Hunt for Red October movie, sir. Captain Yerastov is Sean Connery and I am Alec Baldwin, sir. I need to be aboard that boat.

Officer: Stay with him chief.
Chief: Like a fly on vegemite, sir.
Sturgis: Vegemite?
Chief: Spent some time in Australia, sir. It’s this, uh, like, jam they got down there. Tastes like diesel fuel til you get used to it.

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