Kung Fu Panda

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Kung Fu Panda is a 2008 animated film about an obese and clumsy panda who finds himself designated the prophesied Dragon Warrior, much to the disbelief of his would be peers.

Directed by John Stevenson and Mark Osborne. Written by Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger.

Prepare For Awesomeness. Pandamonium Begins. (taglines)

Po[edit]

  • Oh! Master Tigress! Sorry! I didn't mean to disturb you!
  • There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.
  • I figured it out.
  • Don't tempt me.
  • OH NO!!
  • It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either.
  • [Weakly] Big fan!
  • That's what I thought.
  • You pickin' on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder.
  • Who?
  • [After his conversation with Master Crane] That seemed a bit awkward.
  • Skadoosh!
  • What are you pointing at?
  • It was United States.
  • I LOVE KUNG FUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
  • I'm not a big, fat panda. I'm the big, fat panda!
  • Get ready to feel the THUNDER!
  • Uh, are they gonna watch, or should I just wait until they get back to work or somethin'?
  • Okay.
  • What was that?
  • How's tha—Oh!
  • You want it? Come and get it.
  • You've never seen Bear Style!
  • Right.
  • [Talking with his mouth full with Monkey's almond cookies] Don't tell Monkey.
  • There is no secret ingredient. It's just you.
  • Buddy, I am the Dragon Warrior!
  • Whoa, the Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures! Except for you, Mantis. You're about the same.

Shifu[edit]

  • This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your master.
  • Obeying your master is not weakness!
  • Master Oogway, wait. That flabby panda can't possible be the answer to out problem. You were about to point at Tigress and that thing fell in front of her. That was just an accident.
  • And it was my pride... that blinded me. I loved you too much to see what you were becoming. What I... was turning you into. I'm-- I'm sorry.
  • So you are the legendary Dragon Warrior, hmm?
  • Don't cry.
  • Master!
  • Yes, the panda!
  • I don't know! [Calms down] I don't know.
  • Hit it.
  • This battle is between you and me.
  • Master, your vision... your vision was right. Tai Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
  • That is how it must be.
  • Very good, students... if you were trying to disappoint me.
  • You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior!
  • Just hit it.
  • You will never have that scroll, Tai Lung!
  • This'll be easier than I thought.
  • There is now a level 0.
  • [Irritated] Would you hit it?!
  • Why don't you try again? A little harder.
  • Put that down! The only souvenirs we collect here are bloody knuckles and broken bones!

Furious Five[edit]

  • [When Po becomes the Dragon Warrior] WHAT?!

Tigress[edit]

  • You don't belong here.
  • Don't try and stop me!
  • Master, are you pointing at me?
  • OH! THAT IS IT!
  • Master. [Bows to Po, and the others soon join in; Tigress then smiles at Po]
  • The panda?!
  • If he was smart, he wouldn't come back up those stairs.
  • This is what you trained us for.

Monkey[edit]

  • But he will.
  • Po?

Mantis[edit]

  • Fur. I was gonna say fur.
  • He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that.

Viper[edit]

  • I'm sorry, brother. I thought you said you were ready.
  • maybe you should look at this again.

Crane[edit]

  • How'd you get out of there alive?

Tai Lung[edit]

  • You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew. But, when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do?! NOTHING!
  • I'm glad Shifu sent you. I was beginning to think I've been forgotten. Fly back there and tell them... the real Dragon Warrior is coming home.
  • [Noticing the scroll's blank surface] It's nothing!
  • You? [To Shifu] Him?! He's a panda! [To Po] You're a panda! What are you going to do, big guy? Sit on me?! [Chuckles]
  • So... that is how it's going to be...
  • I don't want your apology. I WANT MY SCROLL! [sees the Dragon Scroll is gone] What?! WHERE IS IT?!?
  • Shifu taught you well. [Blocks Monster's chi] But he didn't teach you everything. [Blocks the rest of the Five's chi]
  • So that is his name. Po... Finally! A worthy opponent! OUR BATTLE WILL BE LEGENDARY!
  • [While charging for Po, watching him climb up a wall] The scroll has given him power! NO!!! [Kicks the wall, causing it to break and collapse]
  • [Pointing at Master Shifu] Not your fault?!
  • Give me the scroll!
  • I have come home... master.
  • You... can't defeat me!... You're just a big-fat-Panda!
  • Oh, yes! You have a new favorite. So where is this... Po? [Chuckles] Did I scare him off?
  • [Gasps] The Wuxi Finger Hold!
  • You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
  • Who filled my head with dreams?! Who drove me to train until my bones cracked?! WHO DENIED ME MY DESTINY?!?

Mr. Ping[edit]

  • [When Po is chosen as the Dragon Warrior] WHAT?!
  • Service with a smile!
  • Can you imagine me making tofu?! [Chuckles at the thought]
  • Sorry doesn't make the noodles!
  • To make something special, you just have to believe it's

Oogway[edit]

  • One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
  • [Repeated lines] There are no accidents.
  • I sense the Dragon Warrior is among us.
  • [Raising Po's arm with his stick] The universe has brought us the dragon warrior!
  • Your mind is like this water my friend, when it is agitated it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear.
  • Quit. Don't quit. Noodles. Don't noodles. You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There's a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present".
    • (The origin of this saying is controversial: see the Misattributed section)
  • [Last words] You must... believe.
  • [Shifu ask for help] No, you just need to believe.
  • Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
  • That is bad news... if you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.

Dialogue[edit]

Mantis: There's no words.
Crane: No denying that.
Viper: I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just gonna get himself killed.
Crane: [mocking Po's lack of skills; sarcastically] He is so mighty! The Dragon Warrior - fell out of the sky in a ball of fire!
Mantis: When he walks, the very ground shakes.
[the Furious Five laugh, except Tigress]
Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew Kung Fu.
Crane: Yeah, or could be at least touch his toes.
Monkey: Or even see his toes.
[the Furious Five laugh again]

(Po tries to take a vow of silence, when he realises he can't keep it up then...)
Po: They're right! I can't do this... I'm a blabber-mouth, a chatter-box, a yack-idy, whack-idy, a fluger-meister!
Mantis: A fluger-what?
Po: I don't know! See?! I talk so much I have to make up new words!

[Shifu is trying to meditate]
Shifu: Inner peace. Inner peace... Inner... In... In... In... In... Inner peace. [one of his ears turns to the side, hearing a flapping noises; shouts over his shoulder] Whoever is making flapping that sound quiet down?! [resumes meditating, but one of his ear twitch] Inner... [Zeng falls into the room with a quacks. Shifu groans and turns around. He smiled a little] Oh, Zeng! Excellent. I could use some good news right now.
Zeng: [Pauses nervously.] Uhhh...
[Cut scenes Master Oogway Tree, Shifu running up stairs]
Shifu: Master! Master!
Oogway: Hmm?
Shifu: I... I... have... it's... it's very bad news.
Oogway: Aah, Shifu. There's just news. There's no good or bad.
Shifu: Master, your vision... your vision was right. Tai Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
[Long pauses]
Oogway: That is bad news... if you do not believe that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.
Shifu: The panda? Master, that panda is not the Dragon Warrior. He wasn't even meant to be here! It was an accident!
Oogway: There are no accidents.
Shifu: [sighs] Yes, I know. You said that already... twice.
Oogway: Well, that was no accident either.
Shifu: Thrice.
Oogway: My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.
Shifu: Illusion?
Oogway: Yes. Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before it's time.
Shifu: But there are things we can control. [Kicks the tree causing several peaches to fall] I can control when the fruit will fall. [One hits him on the head. Oogway chuckles] And I can control... [Tosses the peach in the air and chops it in half] ...Where to plant the seed. [Punches a hole in the ground and catches the seed] That is no illusion, Master. [Throws the seed into the hole]
Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: Maybe it can... [Covers the seed in dirt] ...If you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.
Shifu: But how, how? I need your help, master.
Oogway: No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.
Shifu: I... I will try.
Oogway: Good. [sees petals floating around him] My time has come. You must continue your journey without me. [Hands Shifu his staff]
Shifu: What... What are you...? [Oogway backs into the swirling petals] Master, you can't leave me!
Oogway: [starts to vanish] You must believe.
Shifu: Master! [Oogway disappears, and Shifu stares sadly after him.]

Shifu: Let’s begin.
Po: Wait, wait, wait! What, now?
Shifu: Yes, now. Unless you think that the great Oogway was wrong, and you are not the Dragon Warrior?
Po: Okay, well, I don’t know if can do all of those moves...
Shifu: Well, if you don’t try. You’ll never know you will.
Po: Uh, yeah. It’s just maybe we can find something more suited to my level.
Shifu: And what level is that!
Po: Well, you know, I'm not a master, but, uh, Let's just start at 0; Level 0.
Shifu: Oh, no. There is no such thing as Level 0.
Po: Hey! Maybe I can start on that!
Shifu: [referring to the training dummy] That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist...
[Po sees the Furious Five up close for the first time, watching him with curious expressions]
Po: Whoa, the Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures! Except for you, Mantis. You're about the same. [Mantis glares at Po as one of his antennae twitches.]
Shifu: Go ahead, Panda. Show us what you can do.
Po: [uneasily] Uh, are they gonna watch, or should I just wait until they get back to work or somethin'?
Shifu: Hit it.
Po: [stalling] Yeah, well, I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my Kung Fu may not be as good as... later on.
Shifu: Just hit it!
Po: Uh, okay. [looks over at the training dummy] What'cha got? You got nothing, cause I got it right here. You pickin' on my friends? [quickly shuffles his feet] Get ready to feel the thunder, I'm comin' at you with the crazy feet. What'cha gonna do about crazy feet? Come on. I'm a blur, I'm a blur. You've never seen bear style, you've only seen praying mantis. Or monkey-style.
[He starts chattering like a monkey; Monster raises his eyebrows]
Po: Or snickety-snake–?
Shifu: [angrily] Would you hit it?!
Po: [stops] [annoyed] All right. [He gives the dummy a little tap with his fist, making it lean back.]
Shifu: Why don't you try again? A little harder.
[Po punches the dummy, sending it hurtling backwards.]
Po: Ha! How's tha–? [The dummy swings back, knocking his tooth out and sending him flying into the training hall's obstacle course. The Five start forward, but Shifu holds up his hand to stop them.] [accidentally does a split on the moving ropes] Oh, that hurts! [A spiked pendulum swings towards him and hits him square in the face, knocking him into Crane's tilting bowl, hitting his head several times]
Shifu: [very amused] This'll be easier than I thought.
[Po spills out of the tilting bowl, and wanders to the moving arm guard section]
Po: Feeling a little nauseous. [He pushes one arm, starting a chain reaction that causes him to get hit repeatedly in the face, belly, legs, arms...] Ow! Oh, those are hard–! [...then in the scrotum] Ooh-hoo-hoo! [drops to knees, rises and covers crotch] My tenders! [In pain, he rests one hand on a moving arm, starting the whole chain reaction over again, and smacking him into the fire floor area.] Uh-oh. [Cut back to Shifu and the Furious Five who wince and look away as we hear fire burning and Po screaming. He slumps over next to Shifu, burnt and charred.] [weakly] How did I do?
Shifu: There is now... a Level 0. [He snuffs out a flame on top of Po's head.]

[Po glances at the pigs as he approaches the Noodle Soap. Inside, Mr. Ping is preparing to leave.]
Po: Hey, Dad.
Mr. Ping: Po! [Seeing Po, Po's father hurries over and wraps his arms around his son. Po bends down to reciprocate the hug, as Po's dad pulls away, having fastened an apron around Po's waist.] Good to have you back, son!
[Mr. Ping goes back to packing things up.]
Po: [Listlessly] Good to be back.
Mr. Ping: Let's go, Po. [Mr. Ping struggles to pull the cart full of belongings. Po takes the burden for him, and they both leave the shop, possibly forever. Po glances back at the palace.] So for our next shop, it's time to face it... the future of noodles is dice-cut vegetables, no longer slices. [Mr. Ping starts walk off, unaware that Po is slowing down.] Also, I was thinking, maybe this time we'll have a kitchen you can actually stand up in. Hmm? You like that? [he turns and notices that Po has stopped following. He walks back to his son sympathetically.] Er, Po... I'm sorry things didn't work out. It just... wasn't meant to be. [Po slumps against the cart] Po, forget everything else. Your destiny still awaits. We are noodle folk... broth runs deep through our veins!
Po: I don't know, Dad. Honestly, sometimes I can't believe I'm actually your son.
[Mr Ping is taken aback]
Mr. Ping: Po, I think it's time I told you something I should have told you a long time ago.
Po: [Looks up] Okay.
[Mr. Ping pauses dramatically]
Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soap!
[Po feigns excitement]
Po: Oh.
Mr. Ping: C'mere! The secret ingredient is... nothing!
[Po is taken completely by surprise]
Po: Huh?
Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing. There is no secret ingredient!
Po: Wait, wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping: Don't have to. To make something special, you just have to believe it is special.
[Po looks at his father with dawning realization. He picks up the scroll and looks down at the golden reflective surface. For the moment, Po stares at his reflection o nthe scroll, then his eyes widen. He gets it now.]
Po: There is no secret ingredient...
[Po looks at his confused father, and then turns back to look at the palace as thunder clouds gather]

[Trying to get to his room without waking anyone, Po tiptoes through the hallway, only to trip and walk into Crane's room]
Po: Oh, hey. Hi, you're, uh... you're up.
Crane: Am now.
Po: I was just... Some day, huh? That Kung Fu stuff is hard work, right? Your biceps sore?
Crane: [looks at his arms awkwardly] Uh... I've had a long and rather disappointing day. So, yeah. I should probably get to sleep now.
Po: Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Crane: Okay, thanks.
Po: It's just– Man, I'm such a big fan! You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of the Weeping River. Outnumbered 1,001, but you didn't stop. And you just– [tries Kung Fu, only to accidentally kick a hole in the wall, leading to Monkey's room; Po peaks into the hole to see Monkey, who is now glaring at him] Oh, sorry about that.
Crane: Uh, look, you don't belong here.
Po: [sighs in disappointment] I know. I know. You're right. I don't have--I just--my whole life, I've dreamed of--
Crane: No, no, no. I meant you don't belong here. I mean, in this room. This is my room. [softly taps his bed with his foot] Property of Crane.
Po: Okay. Right, right. So, yeah, you wanna get to sleep and I'm keeping you up. We get big things tomorrow. All right. You are awesome. Last thing I wanna say. Bye-bye.
[He leaves, but remains outside the door, making Crane sigh in annoyance]
Crane: Oy.
Po: [peeks his head in] What was that?
Crane: I didn't say anything.
Po: Okay. All right. Good night. Sleep well. [closes the door and Crane puts his foot on his head] Seemed a bit awkward. [tries to get to his room despite the creaking noise; Tigress opens her doors annoyed] Master Tigress. Didn't mean to wake you. Just, uh–
Tigress: You don't belong here.
Po: Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. This is your room.
Tigress: I mean, you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to Kung Fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning.
[She slams her doors closed. Po, clearly hurt by her words, gropes for a response.]
Po: [weakly] Big fan!
Oogway: I see you have found the Sacred Peach Treee of Heavenly Wisdom!
[Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth]
Po: Oh! Is that what this is? I’m so sorry! I thought it was just a regular peach tree!
Oogway: I understand. You eat when you’re upset.
Po: Upset? I’m not upset, why should I be upset?
Oogway: So, why are you upset?
Po: [sighs sadly] I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history kung fu, in the history of China, in the history of sucking!
Oogway: Probably.

Po: [making dinner for The Furious Five] So, I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"
Crane: Really, so how'd you get out of there alive?
Po: I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind, he woulda been like "What?". Order up! [passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five] Hope you like it. [watches patiently]
Mantis: This is really good!
Po: [sitting down] Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.
Viper: What are you talking about? This is amazing!
Crane: Wow, you're a really good cook! [Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new.]
Mantis: I wish my mouth was bigger!
Monkey: Tigress, you've got to try this.
Tigress: Hmmm. [picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles] It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing, but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe. [The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again.]
Po: I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and... uh, universe juice. [slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; Mantis snickers] What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing... "Master Shifu". [everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle]
Po: [impersonating Master Shifu] You will never be the Dragon Warrior... unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth. [The Furious Five, except Tigress, laughs] What is that noise you're making, laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine! [brings 2 bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions] Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good.
Monkey: [whispering] It's Shifu!
Po: Of course it's Shifu. Who do you think I'm doing? [The Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees (the real) Shifu with Oogway's staff.] Oh... Master Shifu! Uh... [slurps the noodle and accidentally presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he is wearing a bikini top. The Five, except Tigress, snicker.]
Shifu: [angrily] You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!
Po: What?
Shifu: He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! [to Po] And you are the only one who can stop him!
Po: [After his bowls fall to the ground, then laughs] And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! [Shifu looks at him deadly serious.] I'm gonna... stop Tai Lung. What, you're serious, and I have to? Uh, no... Uh, Master Oogway will stop him! He did it before, he'll do it again!
Shifu: [Shakes his head] Oogway cannot! [Face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff.] Not anymore (in fact). [The Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone] Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: The panda?
Shifu: Yes, the panda! [With conviction due to Oogway's last charge on him before he died]
Tigress: Master, please! [pushes her chair out] Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!
Shifu: No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his! [points at Po, who's not there] Where'd he go? [Cut scenes outside Po screaming running down the stairs and Shifu stops Po from leaving] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Watch me! [Po tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away] Come on! How am I supposed to defeat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs.
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior! [Pokes Po in the stomach]
Po: Ow! You don't believe that! [Shifu swings his arm around] You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!
Shifu: [Po tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away again] Yes, I was, but now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: You're not my master. [Po shoves the staff away from his face.] And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I was trying to get rid of you, and yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. [stands up] I stayed because though every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt, but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me. [Po Pauses. Shifu is in a stunned silence] I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me... could make me... not me, it was you, the greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: But I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior, and I will!
Po: Oh, come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now, and even if it takes him 100 years to get here, how are you... gonna change this into the Dragon Warrior?! Huh? [Shifu is speechless] How... how...? [Shifu pauses] HOW?!
Shifu: [snaps] I DON'T KNOW! [Shifu yells out the answer in frustration calms down a bit. Then he sighs deeply, realizing what his mean] I don't know.
Po: [his anger turns to sadness] That's what I thought.
Tigress: [watch Po sadly and Shifu walk away and jump] This what you trained me for.
Viper: Tigress!
Tigress: Don't try to stop them!
Viper: We're not trying to stop him.
Tigress: What?
Viper: We're coming with you.
[The monkey thumb up and the Furious Five and jump into the moon. The next morning, Shifu felt alone, and they heard Po karate, Shifu go inside and looking for Po. Shifu walks in to see Po in the kitchen, having just punched through a wood cupboards and is currently eatings its contents]
Po: [Sees Shifu and stops; Shifu look arounds the kitchen, where shelves are broken, cupboards have holes in them, and Po’s still got food in his hands] What? [angrily] I eat when I'm upset, okay!
[Shifu gets a glimmer in his eye. He has an idea.]
Shifu: [Getting inspiration] Oh, no need to explain. [Start to turn away, then turn back] I just thought you might be Monkey, he hides almond cookies on the top shelf.
[He pretends to walk off and instead leans against the wall beside the doorway, hearing a bit of scuffling. When he looks in, Po in ten feet above the ground, doing a perfect spilt to keep himself airbone and is currently shoveling Monkey’s almond cookies into his face. With a mixture of surprise and realizations, Shifu examines Po. After a minute, Po sees Shifu]
Po: [with cookies in his mouth] Don’t tell monkey.
Shifu: [in astonishment] Look at you.
Po: Yeah, I know I disgusted you.
Shifu: No, no, I mean, how did you get up there.
Po: [taking few a more cookies] I don’t know I just- I don’t know. I was getting a cookie.
Shifu: And yet, you are ten feet off the ground. And have done a prefect spilt.
Po: No, this... this is just an... [shelf begins to creak under the weight] accident. [The shelf breaks; Po falls to the floor]
Shifu: [smiles, as a cookie rolls to him] There are no accidents. Come with me.

[Shifu reunties with Tai Lung for the first time in 20 years.]
Tai Lung: I have come home, master.
Shifu: This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your master.
Tai Lung: Oh, yes. You have a new favorite. So where is this... Po? [chuckles] Did I scare him off?
Shifu: This battle is between you and me.
Tai Lung: So... [Tai Lung turns his back on Shifu.] that is how it's going to be.
Shifu: That is how it MUST be. [Puts himself in a Kung Fu position]
[Shifu and Tai Lung fight in the Jade Palace]
Tai Lung: I rotted in jail for 20 YEARS because of your weakness!
Shifu: Obeying your master is not weakness!
Tai Lung: You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! [Flashback ensues; 20 years ago, in the exact same spot in the Hall of Warriors; Tai Lung awaits Shifu and Oogway's evaluation; Tai Lung proudly believes he will receive the dragon scroll] You always knew... but when Oogway said otherwise... [Oogway turns to Shifu and shakes his head in refusal, and walks away. Shifu is about to say something, but remains silent out of respect for his master] ...What did you do? [Tai Lung cannot believe what he is hearing and seeing] WHAT DID YOU DO?! [Scene returns to present; Tai Lung is furious] Nothing!
Shifu: YOU WERE NOT MEANT TO BE THE DRAGON WARRIOR, THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
Tai Lung: [going into a rage] NOT YOUR FAULT?! [angrily knocks down Master Flying Rhino's armor] WHO FILLED MY HEAD WITH DREAMS?! [Starts throwing weapons at Shifu] WHO DROVE ME TO TRAIN UNTIL MY BONES CRACKED, WHO DENIED ME MY DESTINY?! [launches a volley of blades at Shifu, who deflects all of them with ease, but barely countering the last one]
Shifu: [Successfully driving last blade into the ground] It was never my decision to make!
[Tai Lung growls and leaps to Oogway's shrine. He finally realizes that Oogway is gone and picks up the deceased master's staff.]
Tai Lung: [Holds the staff out to Shifu] It is now. [angered, Shifu charges Tai Lung, hitting him before Tai Lung uses the curved end of Oogway's staff to catch Shifu by the neck and pin him to the ground.] Give... me... the SCROLL!
Shifu: I would rather die! [Tai Lung growls, then tries to kill Shifu with Oogway's staff. Shifu pushes against it, and the staff breaks in half and clutters away. They fight some more, until Tai Lung evetually gains the upper hand.]
Tai Lung: [furiously pummeling Shifu with flaming paws] All I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how PROUD you are, Shifu! TELL ME! TELL ME!!! [his final blow sends Shifu flying across the room. He lands in a heap at the foot of the stairs]
Shifu: [tired, solemn and sad] I... have always been proud of you. From the first moment, I've been... proud of you. [Tai Lung stops in his tracks] And it was my pride, that blinded me; I loved you too much to see what you were becoming. What I... was turning you into. I'm s... I'm sorry.
Tai Lung: [taken aback for a moment, but angrily recovers and seizes Shifu by the throat, holding him up in the air] I don't want your apology. I want my scroll! [sees the Dragon Scroll is gone; shocked] What? [angrily] WHERE IS IT?!? [slams Shifu to the floor]
Shifu: [trying his best to escape Tai Lung's grip around his neck] The Dragon Warrior has taken scroll halfway across China by now. [coughs] You will never see that scroll, Tai Lung! [Tai Lung draws out his claws, ready to kill Shifu] NEVER! [weakly] N-never... [Tai Lung snarls, about to lay down the death blow on his former master.]
Po: [o.s.] HEY!
[Tai Lung stops and turns around. He sees Po standing with the dawn behind him at the entrance, currently panting for breath]
Po: Ugh, stairs. Ugh. Ugh.
Tai Lung: Who are you?
Po: [catching his breath] Buddy... I'm (Po,) the Dragon Warrior. [gasps one last time]
Tai Lung: [disbelievingly] You? [laughs; to Shifu as he tosses him to the floor] Him? He's a panda. [to Po] You're a panda. [sarcastically] What are you going to do, big guy, sit on me? [chuckles]
Po: Don't tempt me. [laughs] No. I'm gonna use this. [holds up the Dragon Scroll and chuckles] You want it? Come get it.
[From out of nowhere, Tai Lung punches Po across the room, grabbing the scroll knocked from Po's paws]
Tai Lung: Finally... AH!
[Po bounces off a nearby pillar and slams back into Tai lung, sending him flying into a column. Tai Lung recovers, astonished. Surprised that he had actually landed a blow, Po puts on a brave face and strikes a pose. Tai Lung charges at him on all fours. Po turns to run.]
Po: [Slow-mo] Oh... WOW!
[Tai Lung quickly catches up and they both sail off the palace steps. Po clings to the Scroll as Tail Lung delivers a punch and sends him crashing onto the arena rooftops below and bouncing off into a tree. Tai Lung roars and pounces; Po rolls down off a tree and uses the recoil to whip back and smash Tai Lung. He briefly skids across the rooftop and comes right back at Po. He knocks Po down the long flight of stairs, and chases after him.]
Tai Lung: That scroll is mine!
[Down the stairs, Po and Tai Lung grapple for the scroll. Po is oblivious to effects of crashing down stairs and in slow motion, his voluminous butt presses down on Tail Lung's head. As they crash through the gateway to the village the scroll is knocked loose. Po is seperated from Tai Lung and crashes into a noodle cart. Tai Lung goes for the scroll, but Po snatches it away using a noodle lasso. The scroll flies towards him and bounces off his head. Tai Lung leaps for it, but Po grabs his tail and pulls him back down onto a cart which see-saws Po into the air. In mid-air, Po slurps the noodle. Up and over the rooftops, Po lands in a grove of bamboo trees and into a nearby wok shop. The scroll lands inside a lantern, tumbles out and rolls to a stop in the street. As Tail Lung makes his move on the scroll ,Po sents a woks into his face, and turns the array of overturned woks into a shell game, sliding the woks around at top speed to hide the scroll.]
Po: Lightning! Whoo! [Tai Lung growls. He knocks the woks away and exposes the scroll.] Ahhh! [Po uses his bamboo stlits to block Tai Lung as tries to grab the scroll. The snow leopard swipes out the stilts and grabs the scroll... bringing Po down on top of him as the scroll is knocked out his paws and rolls down the street. Po gets thrown into a fireworks booth as Tai Lung chases down the scroll. Then...]
Po: [Po comes speeding up on the cart, propelled by a motherlode of fireworks] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! [He slams through Tai Lung, grabs the scroll] HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
[And crashes into a rock wall. The scroll flies out of his paw and lands in the mouth of an ornamental rooftop dragon. He looks back at Tai Lung, who sees where the scroll has landed and restarts his pursuit. Via the magic of cook- vision (He envisions the scroll as cookie), Po effortlessly scales the building. Tail Lung is shocked.]
Tai Lung: The scroll has given him power! NOOOOOOOO!!!
[Enraged, he takes a giant leap and kicks the wall of the building, causing it to crumble. Po struggles to reach the scroll as he is chased by Tai Lung, though manages to keep the leopard at bay by kicking dozens of roof tiles into his face. Amazingly, Po skips across the falling roof tiles to reach scroll in mid-air and grabs it... just as Tai Lung leaps up him and unleashes a punishing blow that sends Po smashing into the ground outside Mr. Ping's noodle shop. As Tai Lung lands, he delivers a final devastating punch, sending up a huge mushroom cloud.]

[As the dust settles, Tai Lung is looming over a stunned Po in the impact crater. He picks up the scroll. He relishes at having the secret to limitless power in his grasp at last.]
Tai Lung: Finally... oh, yes... [laughs] the power of the Dragon scroll, is... MINE! [He opens the scroll... and his triumph turns to horror as he stares at the blank surface] It's nothing!
[Po slowly gets to his feet, wincing.]
Po: It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either. [coughs]
Tai Lung: [disbelief] What?
Po: There is no secret ingredient. [Tail Lung tosses down the scroll in anger. Po looks down at the scroll and gazes at his reflection] It's just you.
Tai Lung: [Tai Lung looks at the scroll... then snarls and lunges at Po] RRRAAAH!
Po: AAAAGGGHH!
[Tai Lung strikes Po's nerve points in a last effort borne out of frustration .Po collapses to the ground... and begins giggling. Tai Lung looks down at his paw in confusion and strikes Po again. And again... and again... Po's body fat is keeping Tai Lung's nerve attack from having any effect expect to tickle him.]
Po: Stop! Stop it! I'm gonna pee! Dooonnn't! Don't! Don't! Don't!
[Frustrated, Tai Lung delivers a double-fisted punch to Po's belly. The shockwave ripples through Po's entire body and his arms come back and strike Tai Lung, sending the leopard crashing back into the noodle shop. Po looks at paws, amazed at what he just did. Tai Lung rises from the rubble and runs at Po again. But Po strikes back, using an unorthodox panda-style technique, even getting Tai Lung to chomp down on his tail. Po gives Tai Lung a butt bump that sends him crashing into a building. Tai Lung emerges and now really mad, attempts one more lunge at Po. But Po prepares... and Tai Lung is swiftly met by Po's IRON BELLY! He is launched into the air and disappears into the clouds. Po waits... and waits... until finally, Tai Lung reappears in the sky while screaming, and crashing through the ground like in a classic cartoon]
[Tai Lung is severely battered after being belly-bumped by Po in the sky, and falls out of the sky while screaming, and crashing through the ground like in a classic cartoon]
Tai Lung: [weakly] You... can't defeat me. You... you're just a big... fat... panda! [Po pinches his finger]
Po: I'm not a big fat panda, I'm the big fat panda. [lifts up his pinky finger]
Tai Lung: [gasps in horror] The Wuxi Finger Hold?!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: [last words before his death] You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
Po: Nope. [Tai Lung smiles weakly] I figured it out. [flexes his pinky finger, with Tai Lung's eyes widening in an "uh-oh" stare] Ska-doosh. [unleashes a rippling wave of light that vanquishes Tai Lung]

[Sometime later, the villagers return to the village, which has been englulfed in a cloud of golden dust. Then one pig villagers spots figure in the distances]
Kg Shaw: Look! The Dragon Warrior.
[Approaching the crowd is an obscured figure who looks very much like the warrior from Po's dream. When he nears, we see that it is Po: his hat is an upside down wok and his scarf is a torn apron. Po coughs, and removes the apron. The villagers stare at Po for a moment... then CHEER the Dragon Warrior. Mr. Ping emerges from the crowd as the villager try and fail to lift Po on their shoulders]
Mr. Ping: That's my boy! That big, lovely kung fu warrior is my son!
[Father and son run to each other and hug]
Po: Thanks, Dad
[The woks falls off Po's head and rolls on the ground until Mantis appears in frame and stops it. The rest of the Five are with him. They are no longer staring at him with disdain. Po takes notice.]
Po: Hey, guys.
[Tigress steps forward.]
Tigress: [bows, and then smiles at Po] Master.
[Her comrades and then the villagers follow]
All: Master.
Po: [Modest, but secretly pleased] Master? [Then, remembering...] Master Shifu!

[Last lines. After defeating Tai Lung, Po rushes to check on Shifu, whom he finds unconscious.]
Po: Master, Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
Shifu: [coughs, weakly] Po, you're alive... or we're both dead.
Po: No, Master, I didn't die, I defeated Tai Lung.
Shifu: [astonished] You did? [Po nods] Wow. It is as Oogway... foretold. You are the Dragon Warrior. (Po's smile disappears) You have brought peace... to this valley. And... and to me. Thank you. [sighs again] Thank you, Po. Thank you. Thank you. [Slowly lays his head down, as if dead]
Po: [looks disbelievingly at his master] No! Master! No, no, no! Don't die, Shifu, Please!
Shifu: [wakes up angrily] I'm not dying, you idiot-- [humorously calms down] Uh, Dragon Warrior. [relaxes and folds his hands over his chest] I am simply at peace. Finally.
Po: Ohhh. So, um, I should stop talking?
Shifu: [nodding his head, smiling] If you can.
Po: [joins Shifu for a nap, and after a long nap, he ask something to his master] You want to get something to eat?
[Shifu wakes up and sighs in annoyance]
Shifu: [nonchalantly] Yeah.

Kung Fu Panda Holiday[edit]

Po: [opening lines; in dream sequence] Steel yourself against my steel, villain. [uses sword to chop an onion in half] Your reign of tears is over.

Mr. Ping: [rejecting Po's offer to cook the Winter Feast at the Jade Palace] What about our friends? What about those lonely people who have no place else to go? We give them a place to call home. There's always room for one more at Mister Ping's.
Po: Look, Dad, I appreciate that you care about the lonely people...
Mr. Ping: And lonely people pay extra.
Po: But I need you. I just fired the best chefs in all of China.
Mr. Ping: [offended] Oh, 'the best chefs in all of China', huh? You think your fancy palace ladle is better than mine? [picks up ladle, which breaks in half] This is not my A-ladle.

[After Mr. Ping refuses to cater at the Jade Palace, Po finds Wo Hop the bunny in the kitchen]
Po: Bunny! Finally, a real chef! Listen, I know we got off to kind of a rocky start, what with me shaming you and your village for all eternity, but if you could start dicing those carrots, it would really...
Wo Hop: [interrupts] I'm not here to dice carrots. I'm here to fight you.
Po: Huh?
Wo Hop: The only way to restore honor to me and my village is to fight the Dragon Warrior. Surely I will perish, but that is the fate I must accept.

Po: This is a disaster. I'm going to disappoint everyone. My dad, the Furious Five, Shifu...
Wo Hop: And me. [Po glares at him] I'm not dead yet.

Po: This may be our greatest challenge yet.
Monster: Bandits?
Viper: Raiders?
Po: No. Place settings.

Shifu: Beautiful. Elegant. Perfect. You made me proud. All 29 kung fu schools and their masters. Excellent. Excellent.

[Mr. Ping is struggling with a heavy pot of soup]
Po: [appears behind him] I got that, Dad.
Mr. Ping: Po? Oh, you came! Oh, Po, I'm... I'm sorry I made you feel so guilty.
Po: Ah, don't be. That's what the holidays are all about. Now, don't we have some cooking to do?

Po: [notices Shifu outside the restaurant] There's always room for one more at Mr. Ping's.
Shifu: Oh no, I really don't want to disturb anyone. You go and enjoy your party.
Po: I couldn't enjoy it without you.
Shifu: Oh no, I couldn't. These are your people. This is your family.
Po: You're my family too, Shifu. Now c'mon.
Shifu: [sighs and smiles] That soup does smell delicious. [Po prepares to escort Shifu inside but Shifu suddenly stops him] Po, wait. What goes on in your head, I really don't always understand. But what goes on in your heart never let us down.
Po: [smiles] Thanks, Shifu.


Misattributed[edit]

  • Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present".
    • This quote is often mistakenly originally attributed to the movie character Oogway. It is sometimes attributed to other authors, including Alice Morse Earl, Bil Keane, Eleanor Roosevelt, Michael Broch, or Joan Rivers, T. B. Joshua and even the Samurai Warriors. Nonetheless, its origin is certainly old, but remains unclear. It is sometimes regarded as anonymous, but there are several variants from earlier works:
      • "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, Today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present." (Regarded as an "anonymous poem", in Joan Chittister's Heart of Flesh (1998), p. 129; in Vital Issues: The Journal of African American Speeches (1998), Bethune-DuBois Publications, p. 27, and in Joan Rivers' "From Mother to Daughter" (1998), p. 30.)
      • "Yesterday may be History, Tomorrow is Mystery and Today is our Golden Opportunity!" (As quoted in H.S. Cheesbrough's Canada Lumberman, Volume 62 (1942), Southam-Maclean.
      • "Live today. The past is gone. Today is God's gift to us, whether it be a day of storm or sunshine. Tomorrow may never come, and that is immaterial." (From Friends' Intelligencer, Volume 91, No.1-26 (1934), p. 21)
      • "Yesterday is history; to-morrow is merely a hope; to-day is the only absolute asset of time that is yours." From Frank Pixley's Thoughts and Things (1912), in , Duffield & Company, p. 29.
  • One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
    • This quote is a variant of one originally written by Jean de La Fontaine in Fables, Book VIII, fable 16 (The Horoscope):
On rencontre sa destinée
Souvent par des chemins qu’on prend pour l’éviter.
This can be translated as: Our destiny is frequently met in the very paths we take to avoid it.

Taglines[edit]

  • Prepare For Awesomeness.
  • Experience The Pandamonium In IMAX.
  • Summertime Is Pandatime.

Cast[edit]

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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