Arthur (TV series)

Arthur (1996-2022) is a PBS animated series about a young third-grade aardvark named Arthur Read and his family and friends who deal with the various troubles of childhood.

Season 1 (1996)

Arthur's Eyes [1.1a]

(zooms into Arthur's house, it is the middle of the night, A door opens, and a light shines on him)

Arthur Read: (gasp)

Dora Winifred Read (whispering): Come with me.

Arthur: Why?

D.W.: (covers Arthur's mouth) Shh. (whispering): It's about our lost brother!

Arthur: (whispering): We don't have a brother.

D.W.: (whispering): They're keeping him a secret! But I've seen him!

Arthur (to the audience): (whispering): Uh-oh! (Normally): Great.

Arthur and D.W. come downstairs. D.W.'s light pans over to a red book on a small table

D.W.: (whispering): Don't turn on- (Arthur turns light on) (quietly): -the light...

Arthur turns off light and walks slowly over towards D.W.; D.W. opens the photo album. The look at pictures of a younger Arthur.

D.W.: See? I wonder where he went. Mom and dad sold him or something.

Arthur: [gets in a heated argument with D.W.] D.W., that's me!

D.W.: Is not!

Arthur: Is too!

D.W.: But you wear glasses!

Arthur: That's before I wore glasses.

D.W.: You were born with glasses!

Arthur: You were only 2 years old then, so you probably don't remember.

---

The rest of the episode takes place about year earlier. Arthur has no glasses and his friends are in Mr. Marco's class

Mr. Marco: This quiz is to be completed in class. No talking! [writes math problems on the blackboard.]

Arthur: That's a seven, right?

Francine Frensky: No, it's a two!

Arthur: That's a one?

Francine: No, it's a seven.

Arthur: That's a seven.

Francine: No Arthur, it's a nine, stop bothering me!

Mr. Marco: (clears throat) Ahem! Mmm! (handing out test results) These are your test results. Anybody with four or more mistakes should see me after class for extra homework.

Francine: [has all questions right, but Arthur has them all wrong] I guess math's not your best subject.

Arthur: I have a headache!

Buster Baxter: Yeah, sometimes Francine gives me a headache too.

Francine: (Offended, putting her head up with her eyes closed) Hmph!

---

Scene switches to the gymnasium with Arthur and his friends are playing basketball. The ball goes right to Arthur, but he misses it so a yellow, medium-skinned monkey gets the ball and passes to Francine

Arthur: Huh?

Francine's Team: Shoot! (shoots and scores)

Buster: [has the ball on a breakaway and passes to Arthur] Arthur!

Arthur: Got it! No I don't. (misses again, a peach cat gets the ball, passes to Francine)

Binky (in background): Go, go, go, go! (Francine shoots it backwards with one hand and makes it. A rat blows whistle. Arthur has a free shot, but he is double-sighted)

Buster: Come on Arthur, you can do it! (Arthur shoots and it goes over the net and into the lockers) Aw, Arthur!

Francine: I guess basketball is just not your sport.

---

A nurse is doing an eye test at school. The kids come in one after the other, cover one eye and read the test chart with the other.

Prunella Deegan: E, G, B, D!

Binky Barnes: E, G, B, D.

Sue Ellen Armstrong: E, G, B, D.

Arthur: (clears throat) M, P, 7, R, P, R. Oh, it's not a seven! Eight? Huh?

Francine: (Sing-song voice) Arthur's in trouble!

Muffy Crosswire: How do you get in trouble with the nurse?

(Everybody laughs)

Buster: What happened?

Arthur: I have to go to the eye doctor.

---

Arthur has his eyes examined with a phoropter while his parents wait.

Dr. Iris: What can you see?

Arthur: It's just blurry, Dr. Iris.

Dr. Iris: (puts in another lens.) Now what do you see?

Arthur: A giant worm!

Dave: Huh?

Jane Read: Where?

(A smiling caterpillar is on the lens, Dr. Iris takes the lens.)

Dr. Iris: Hm. (puts the small caterpillar on a potted plant and puts the lens back in the phoropter.) That better?

Arthur: Yeah, I can read it all!

Dr. Iris: You just need glasses, Arthur. That's why you've been getting those headaches.

Arthur looks at a shelf with various glasses.

Dr. Iris: All you have to do is choose the frames you like.

Arthur: [puts on aviator glasses] Cool! [briefly imagines himself standing in front of a jetfighter, tries on rectangular glasses] Hm. Woo. (He tilts his head and his pupils roll along the rim of the glasses.)

Jane: Those are nice.

Arthur: Maybe I'll try something else. [puts on futuristic glasses. He imagines he is standing on Mars. Behind him an alien wearing the same kind of glasses looks out of a UFO. They wave at each other, takes off the glasses and spots some round brown glasses.] Hey!

Dr. Iris: [reaches down for the glasses and puts them on Arthur] There!

Jane: Those look wonderful, Arthur!

David: Very distinguished.

Arthur: Really?

---

(Arthur and his parents drive home from the eye doctor.)

Arthur (with better vision): Look at that airplane way up there! Look at all the leaves on the trees! Hey mom, you have gray hairs on your head! Dad, have you always had those bags under your eyes?

---

The next day at school, Arthur is walking in the halls

Francine: Whoa! You look weird!

Binky: You look different! You get a new haircut?

Arthur: [enraged and yells at Binky] No!!

School bell rings. Arthur walks into the classroom.

Francine: Hey Buster, look! (Pointing at Arthur) Arthur's a four eyes! (Sing-song voice) Arthur's a four eyes! Arthur's a four eyes! Arthur's a four eyes!

[Everybody laughs except Buster and Arthur]

Buster: [angrily scolds Francine] Some people need glasses to see, Francine. Big deal!

---

(In the school cafeteria Buster holds two drinking glasses in front of his eyes.)

Buster: Hey, look you guys, I'm Arthur!

(Everybody laughs)

Arthur: Huh?

Buster: (ears droop) Oh.

Arthur gets pissed and furiously walks out of the cafeteria and past Binky

Binky: I know, that's a new shirt!

Arthur: Afraid not!

---

Arthur is walking home covering his face with a coat and arrives at his house, his father is raking leaves with D.W. sitting in them.

D.W.: (starts crying)

David Read: Huh? Arthur?

Arthur: Don't talk to me! [angrily slams the door]

---

Arthur: [looks at a mirror in his room, takes off his glasses and his reflection becomes blurred.] Well it's better than being called four eyes! If I lose them, nobody can make me wear them! [angrily puts glasses into their case] I won't even know where they land! [puts glasses into a slingshot, and shoots] Good riddance!

The case with the glasses hits an electric wire, bounces off and land in Arthur's bed room next to Stanley, his teddy bear

Arthur: [goes up to his room, only to find the glasses on his bed, gasps; groans in frustration] Uggghhh! [furiously takes the glasses and angrily throws them out the window, they land in Mr. Read's pile of leaves.]

David: Huh?

Arthur: [comes into the kitchen looking pleased. The he sees the case with the glasses on the table, gasps]

---

Arthur: [has put his glasses on D.W.’s toy hammering bench and guides her hand with the hammer] That's it, D.W.!

D.W.: (giggling, hits with the hammer, but misses the glasses)

Jane: What are you doing with your glasses?

Arthur: D.W. took them, mom! I was just getting them back!

Jane: Be careful with those. You wouldn’t want them to get broken.

Arthur: No, mom.

(D.W. hits Arthur's fingers with the hammer)

Arthur: Ouch!! (chuckles nervously)

---

Arthur: [walks to school the next day with his glasses on, goes behind a tree and comes out with no glasses, chuckles, arrives at school. He and Buster pass Mr. Marco]

Mr. Marco: Arthur, where are your glasses?

Arthur: I lost them. At home I think. It's harder than ever to see without my glasses.

Buster: Why don't you just wear 'em?

Arthur: I don't need them. I know this school at the back of my own hand. Boy's room is the third door from this corner, right?

Buster: Yeah.

Arthur: See, why do I need em?

Buster: See ya in class! [walks on]

Arthur passes Mr. Marco who comes out of a door with Mr. Haney

Mr. Haney: That's why I lock the exams, and...

Mr. Marco: Oh, well, the examination was better than I thought it would be. Still, in all, I think that we’re going to have to go over...

Arthur: [counts the doors but misses the one the teachers came out of] First door. Second. Third. [walks into girl's room by mistake and sees Francine and Muffy talking to each other]

Francine: I said, if I'm not batting cleanup, I'm not playing.

Arthur: Francine?!

Francine and Muffy: Aah!

Arthur, Muffy, and Francine: What are you doing in here?!

Francine: This is the girls' room! Get outta here!

Arthur: Hm?

The door hits Arthur in the back as Sue Ellen, Jenna and Maria come in. The door is seen from the outside.

Girls: Augh! It's a boy! Get him out!

(Everybody hears the screaming and wonder what it is.)

Arthur: Get me out of here!!

(The girls run out. Arthur slowly follows and finds everybody staring at him.)

Arthur: Augh! (he drops his lunch box) Oh no....

---

Arthur: [turns on the TV at home] I'm just gonna have to get used to being a four-eyed weirdo...

( Bionic Bunny music plays)

Bionic Bunny (on TV): I'm Wilbur Rabbit. And this is the story of how we make the Bionic Bunny show! (He is holding up a car in the studio. He lets go and the car stays in place.) Em, what's my next line? (filmmaker puts glasses on his eyes similar to Arthur's so he can read the script)

Arthur: Wilbur Rabbit wears glasses just like mine? Alright!

---

Francine: [meets Arthur in the hallway] Old four-eyes is back!

Arthur: Hi Francine!

Francine: Huh?

Binky: I know! You're wearing glasses!

Arthur: Yeah, I am!

Binky: Four-eyes (laughs)

Arthur: Binky? Did you know Wilbur Rabbit wears glasses?

Binky: Yeah I saw that on TV last night.

Francine: I didn't see that!

Binky: Yeah wasn't it great how they make him fly?

In the classroom Mr. Marco is writing math problems on the blackboard

Francine: Don't ask me to read the problems to you! I need to concentrate.

Arthur: Okay.

The kids are playing basketball in the gymnasium.

Francine: Look out everybody, Arthur's got the ball.

(Arthur shoots and makes it, everyone cheers)

In the classroom Mr. Marco hands back quizzes.

Mr. Marco: Very good Arthur! All correct!

Francine: Arthur! How would you like to play on my basketball team today? [shows Arthur her fake plastic glasses] Do you like them?

Arthur: There's no glass.

Francine: They're my movie star glasses. Don't they make me look beautiful? Wilbur Rabbit wears glasses, you know.

Arthur: And his are just like mine!

---

Arthur: And since then, I always wore glasses. Does that solve your mystery?

D.W.: I guess... but it's not as good as having a lost brother. [sees a picture of a much younger Jane and David dancing to disco.] Hey look! Who's this weird guy with mom?

Arthur: That's dad.

D.W.: Dad doesn't have a beard, Arthur. Maybe mom's divorced! I'm waking her up right now, and demand an explanation!

Arthur: D.W.! D.W.! D.W.! [runs after her.]

Arthur and the Real Mr. Ratburn (a.k.a. Arthur's Teacher Trouble) [1.2a]

( kids screams, yells, shouts all once )

Arthur: Maybe, you read the list is wrong, Francine. Let me look. You're right. It's Ratburn!

[On the baseball field and soccer field]

Arthur's Spelling Trubble [1.2b]

Francine (as Deborah Franklin): Benjamin, do you think you should do this? (Oops!)

Arthur (as Benjamin): I have to. (Lightning zaps the kite) Ouch! Ouch! I did it! Ouch! Ouch!! Ouch!!! Heyyy! Ouch!?

---

Arthur: (rapping) A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K! A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K! A-A-R-D... (D.W. comes up as she sees Arthur jamming to the "A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K" rap.)

D.W.: V-A-R-K!

Arthur: Don't botherin' me, DW! I'm studying!

---

Francine: Pleasant - P-L-E-A-S-E-N-T.

Mr. Ratburn: No, I'm sorry. (Try again, Francine?)

---

Prunella: Of course. Preparation. P-R-E-P... (pauses out) ...E...R-A-T-I-O-N - preparation.

D.W. All Wet [1.3a]

Arthur: OCTOPUS!!!

D.W.: Octopus! Octopus! Octopus!!!

Mrs. Read: What the...?!

Mr. Read: And?!

Arthur: And I'm really sorry. It was just a joke!

Mrs. Read: Not a very funny one. Now, go to your room!

D.W.: And don't come out until I say so!

Mrs. Read: Feel better?

D.W.: I hope an octopus eats him!

---

D.W.: I'm not going!

Everyone: What? Why?

D.W.: I don't want to go in the water!

Arthur: You're not still scared of octopuses, are you? We're going to the lake, D.W. Octopuses live in oceans, not lakes.

D.W.: I'm not going, and that's that!

D.W.'s Imaginary Friend [1.4a]

Francine: Pretend friend. What babies! Arthur's a baby!

Arthur's Pet Business [1.5a]

[Arthur cuts a paper of dogs in half with scissors as his sister walks into his room]

D.W.: [sings] Arthur wants a dog. Arthur wants a dog.

Arthur: Don't say anything, D.W.! I'm waiting for just the right moment to ask Mom and Dad.

D.W.: You can trust me, Arthur.

---

Mr. Read: Arthur...

Arthur: Don't worry, Dad. I'll work out all their schedules, somehow.

D.W.: AAH!!! HELP!!!

Mr. Read: D.W.?!

Arthur: Uh-oh. Oh, no, the ant farm! No, Kate, don't! Oh, no! Hey, wait! Hey! Where are you going?

Mrs. Read: Huh?

Arthur: Come here!

Mrs. Read: Arthur...!

D.W.: Arthur...!

Mr. Read: Arthur...!

D.W. the Copycat [1.5b]

Arthur: N-O!? No!!! There are no babies in baseball!

Locked in the Library [1.6a]

Francine: ARTHUR READ! Did you tell everyone I looked like a marshmallow?!

Arthur: Uh....uh....

Buster: [to Arthur] Yeah, don't you remember? When she was wearing that goofy sweater. [to Francine] So, what do you want to do about it?

Francine: You better apologize or...

Buster: [to Francine] Or what?

Francine: [points at Arthur] Or you're gonna get it!

---

[Extended]

Ms. Turner: 5:00 till locked the door. [closes the door and locked the door a Ms. Turner's key] Arthur and Francine doors are locked in the library books.

---

[after Arthur and Francine get locked in the library, they bump into each others' backs.]

Arthur and Francine: [both screams] [to each other] YOU!?

Francine: Arthur, why didn't you tell me what time it was?! You got us locked in.

Arthur: [pointing to himself] Me?! [pointing to Francine] Why didn't you say what time it was?!

Francine: [pointing to Arthur] I'm NOT your mother, Arthur Read?! I mean, how dumb does a person have to be to get locked in a library?! [holds up her arms in a "V" shapes position with her hands open and pauses a few 2nds; more angriest] Anyway, [puts her arms down] I have no time for childish bickerin'. I have to get out of here. [walks off]

Arthur: Fine. [walks after Francine]

Francine: Fine. And by the way, I'm still not talking to you, and I'm not listening, either. [covers her ears with her hands and bends her elbows and walks forward until she bumps her elbow onto a bookshelf] Ow!? [Arthur and Francine gets stacks of books off of the bookshelves and create passageways to escape from the library. Arthur builds a tower full of books while Francine builds a staircase of books.] Oh! [walks to the tower of books and grabs a book from the tower right before Arthur is about to unlock the window]

Arthur: HEY! [the tower collapses and becomes a mess full of books, causing Arthur to fall] [sarcastically] Thanks, I was almost there.

Francine: [completes the staircase of books with the book she last grabbed, walks up the staircase, and unlocks the window, but a fly comes by, and takes 3 attempts to shoos the fly away, but screams and starts falling off the stairs of books] Ow!

[Arthur starts running up the staircase of books, and Francine goes after him also. Arthur starts pulling on the window handles, but nothing works out. Francine then helps him out, puts her foot against the window, then the handles break off, and she and Arthur fall and the staircase of books collapses]

Arthur: I just remembered something...

Francine: What?

Arthur: Today is Saturday, which means the library is closed until...

[Francine gasps in horror]

Arthur and Francine: MONDAY!! [their voices start echoes around the library]

---

[after Muffy has hung up on Francine]

Arthur: What did you do?! How could you let her hang up?!

Francine: Keep your shirt on! I'm calling my mom. [Francine dials the number of her apartment]

Telephone's recording message: To dial out, you must enter the correct user code. Please hang up and try again. To dial out... [Francine gives an annoyed look to the camera]

Arthur: Okay. We're doomed!

Francine: You're such a wimp.

Arthur: Then you're a bossy know-it-all, [lows tone] marshmallow.

Francine: [angrier] That does it, Arthur Read! If I have to spend the weekend here, I'm NOT spending it with you!

Arthur: Fine with me! See if I care!

Arthur Accused! [1.6b]

Ms. Tingley: This doesn't look good, Mr. Haney...

Mr. Haney: It certainly doesn't, Ms. Tingley.

Arthur: You mean, you think I STOLE THE QUARTERS?!

Mr. Haney: YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM, ARTHUR!

Ms. Tingley: You certainly were!

Mr. Haney: If that money doesn't turn up, I'm afraid that you'll have to serve a day...

Ms. Tingley: Week!

Mr. Haney: ...a week of after school detention starting today!

Ms. Tingley: And no picnic for you tomorrow!

Buster Makes the Grade [1.7b]

[Buster walks into Mr. Haney's office]

Mr. Haney: Come in.

Buster: Mom, Grandma, what are you guys doing here?

[Buster's mother Bitzi and his grandmother are in Mr. Haney's office about Buster's poor grades]

Bitzi: It's nothing to worry about, dear. [sobs]

[Buster's grandmother comforts her]

Mr. Haney: [takes out a lollipop and tissue] Really, Mrs. Baxter. It's not as bad as always is serious, very serious, but nothing a little elbow grease - A lot of elbow grease - Can't fix. Hopefully. Sit down, Buster.

[Mr. Ratburn sets a chair in the middle of the office for Buster]

---

Binky: "In 1776, Thomas Jefferson, who would later become the third President of the United States, wrote the Declaration of Independence." [Binky is madly with Buster snores. Binky takes off the glasses, which have eyes painted on them. Buster is asleep.] Buster?!

---

Bitzi: Buster, wake up! Your English tutor is here.

[Buster wakes up and finds Arthur at the door]

Buster: Oh. [chuckles] It's just you, Arthur.

Bitzi: Well, I'll leave you two to your work.

[she leaves the room]

Buster: Hey, Arthur, good plan. You fooled her completely. If we hurry, we can get to the park before the game starts.

Arthur: We're not going to the park today, Buster.

Buster: What?

Arthur: Get your books. We're gonna study!

Buster: STUDY?!

Arthur's New Puppy [1.8a]

Jane: Arthur, my rug.

Arthur: [Pal ripped rug] Uh-oh. Pal?! Pal?!

---

Arthur: Pal, sit. [pauses; Pal gets up] No, sit. [D.W. chuckles] Sit. Stay.

Arthur Babysits [1.9a]

Arthur: [gasps] Stop that, right now!!!

Francine Frensky, Superstar [1.10b]

[At the Frensky's apartment, Francine starts flickering with the lights, but Catherine gets irritated by this]

Catherine: Francine! I'm trying to read Shakespeare.

Francine: I'm sorry, Catherine. But if I am to play Edison convincingly, I need experience with electric lights.

[Francine continues flickering with the light switch, but Catherine still ignores the habit]

Catherine: Why don't you study a phonograph or a movie camera? He invented those.

Francine: Good idea, I will. As soon as I'm done here.

[Francine flickers with the light switches once again]

Catherine: [yells loudly] MOTHER!!

Arthur's Bad Day [1.10c]

Arthur: Why?!

Muffy: Because was Arthur's being bad.

Mr. Read: It's not your fault, Francine and Muffy.

Arthur's Baby [1.11a]

• Arthur's Mom: Happy first birthday, Kate!
• Arthur and D.W.: Happy birthday, Kate!
• Kate: (giggles and stuffed the cake in her mouth)
• Arthur: Babies do some dopey things, but I guess we were all babies once, like my friend Buster. And Mr. Ratburn. Even my mom and dad. Even my little sister Kate is growing up.
• Arthur's Mom wipes Kate's mouth with a napkin.
• Arthur: I already missed the days when she was a cute, little baby.
• D.W.: (gets into a heated argument with Arthur) No, you don't!
• Arthur: Do too!
• D.W.: You didn't even like Kate when she was a little baby!
• Arthur: Did too!
• D.W.: (annoyed) Uh-huh, sure. I remember exactly what happened...

---

• Arthur and D.W. are having a grape-eating contest, to see which one will eat the last grape.
• Arthur: Let go, D.W.!
• D.W.: No, you let go!
• Arthur: You already ate more than me!
• D.W.: I needed more than you. You're only bigger than me because you're full of so much food!
• (The last grape lands into D.W.'s mouth, which pisses Arthur off that he angrily wishes to remove all the little sisters.)
• Arthur: (pissed off) You know how the world could be perfect? Remove all little sisters! That's my idea perfect.
• D.W.: (swallows the grape) Delicious!
• Now, Arthur and D.W. have been told by their dad to come over to them because he and their mother have a surprise.
• Arthur's Dad: Arthur! D.W.! We have a surprise for you.
• Arthur: Is it a new bicycle?
• Arthur's Mom: No!
• D.W.: Is Arthur moving out?
• Arthur's Mom: No!
• Arthur: What is it? What is it?
• Arthur's Mom: We're going to have a baby!
• D.W.: (excited) A baby!
• Arthur: (shocked) A baby?
• D.W.: (V.O.): A baby, yahoo! Baby baby baby baby, yeah, baby!
• Arthur's Dad: It will be about six months before the baby comes. Plenty of time to get ready.

---

• At the gym, Binky and Arthur are fighting, but Arthur loses and Binky teasingly tells him to get some earplugs.
• Binky: You better buy some earplugs. Babies never stop crying! (evilly begins to laugh, and the imagination scene fades in, where an unknown-named baby is crying really loud. This happened when Arthur tells his mom to pass the salt, but was no good.)
• Arthur: Pass the salt, please.
• Arthur's Mom: What?
• Arthur: (loudly) I said, pass the salt, please!
• Now, a firetruck flies through our screen, and while the baby is still crying, the firefighters cover their ears because they don't like the sound, and it fades back to Binky back at the gym.)
• Binky: So you can forget about sleeping!
• Everyone laughs, including Binky, and this embarrasses Arthur. That time, he and his friends are at the pool.
• Muffy: Poor Arthur. In a few months, he'll be changing all those stinky diapers! P.U.! (plugs her nose and jumps in the pool, causing the screen to be splashed by water effects)

---

• Buster: (pretends that Arthur gets protected by the baby's dirty diapers.) This should protect you from those stinky diapers!
• Arthur (muffled): Yea, I can't smell anything!
• Buster: Great!
• Arthur (muffled): But I can't breathe! *gasps*
• Buster: *gasps* Whoa!! *loud crash* (tries to pull the shoe off of Arthur's mouth, and as this happens, Arthur gasps for breath and Buster accidentally crashes through some of Arthur's parents' things.)

---

• At the mall, Arthur and Buster see some babies in strollers, which gets him confused.
• Arthur: What's the big deal with babies? They don't even do anything!
• Buster: Well, maybe you can teach your baby to do something useful, like earn money for you.
• (In Arthur's imagination, he pretends he is a magician and he presents an amazing baby.)
• Arthur: Presenting the amazing baby!
• (The audience is thrilled by the amazing baby, and they give their money to Arthur the magician.)
• Arthur: Thank you! Thank you.
• (In the second imagination, Arthur pretends he has a smart baby who does his homework for him.)
• Buster (V.O.): Or do your homework.
• Arthur: And when you're done with the math, don't forget to write my report on Magellan!

​* (Now Arthur and Buster are in the treehouse while the imagination fades out.)

• Arthur: *sighs* If only life were like that.
• Buster (V.O.): Pretty soon, you can forget about playing after-school; you'll have to baby-sit! *laughs*
• Arthur: (in disappointment) Yeah.
• Francine: And you'll start talking baby-talk all the time!
• (Arthur and his friends are playing football and he trips to other side of the team and falls.)
• Coach: Great catch, Read! You okay?
• Arthur (in baby-talk): Got an ouchy boo-boo!
• (Everyone in the football team, including their coach, starts laughing out loud.)
• Francine: Oh, Arthur talks like a baby!
• Binky: (noticing an unpleasant odor coming from Arthur) And he smells like stinky diapers, too!"
• Everyone: "Ewwwwwww" (hold their noses and continue to laugh at Arthur)

---

• That night, Arthur is in bed giving himself a nightmare, then his mom comes in and startles him.
• Arthur: (screams)
• Arthur's Mom: Everything okay, honey? You were tossing and turning!
• Arthur: Um, I--I was... having a dream??
• Arthur's Mom: I guess you must be excited as I am about the baby coming.
• Arthur: Yeah! It's all I think about!

---

• At the park, Arthur and his friend Buster are flying kites together when they see three cooing babies in their strollers.
• Arthur: I guess I'm ready for that baby now. I've thought of everything!
• Buster: What if your mom has more than one?

---

• In Arthur's imagination, he dreams that he has more than one baby, which makes him scream. Meanwhile, at his home, Doctor D.W. asks him if he wants to pretend to change a baby's diaper.
• D.W.: Arthur! Come over here, and I'll show you how to diaper a baby!
• Arthur: (screams at D.W.) Oh no, no! Get that diaper off my Bionic Bunny right now, and stop trying to turn everything into a baby!
• Arthur's Mom: Forget the diapers, come over here. I want to show you two something. You were a baby once, too, you know! (turns on the TV and plays a video of when Arthur was a baby.)
• Arthur (V.O.): Is that me?
• Arthur's Mom (on TV): Come on, Arthur! Ohhh!
• Arthur's Mom: Yes, you were such a cute baby.
• D.W.: Yeah, what went wrong? That's me?!
• Arthur's Mom now puts on a video of when D.W. was a baby with lots of crying.
• D.W.: That's me?! Don't I look adorable? I bet the new baby's just going to be like me!
• Arthur: (angrily puts his hands over his eyes) That's what I'm afraid of.

---

• Now, Arthur's mom is now preparing her trip to the hospital to have a baby, and she is gathering all her stuff.
• Arthur: (confused) What are you doing?
• Arthur's Mom: I have to be ready to go to the hospital at anytime now!
• D.W. (V.O.): Here's something to look at while you're at the hospital, to help you make another perfect kid.
• Arthur's Mom: *giggles* I'll pack that with my other things.

---

• The next morning, Arthur and D.W. are riding down the stairs and D.W. thought she won and she laughs.
• D.W.: I win! I win!
• Arthur: Did not, it was a tie!
• D.W.: *laughs*
• Arthur: *grunts in frustration* Huh??!!
• Arthur is really surprised to see that Grandma Thora is in the house making pancakes, which makes him confused.
• Grandma Thora: Who wants blueberry pancakes?
• D.W.: Grandma Thora, you're in the wrong house!
• Arthur: Where are Mom and Dad, Grandma?
• Grandma Thora: They're at the hospital. You both have a new baby sister!
• D.W.: A sister! My sister! She'll be just like me! Yahoo!
• Arthur: (facepalms his face) Oh, brother.
• D.W.: Oh, sister! Yay!
• Arthur: (weakly) Yahoo....

---

• At the hospital, D.W. and Arthur's dad choose which baby is hers. Arthur's dad makes the choice.)
• D.W. (V.O.): Which one is my sister, daddy?
• Arthur's Dad: That's her, and her name is Kate.
• (Kate starts crying. This made Arthur confused.)
• D.W. (V.O.): She's got your nose, Arthur!
• Arthur: And your mouth.

---

• Kate arrives home. D.W. is very excited, but Arthur's mom tells her to be quiet because Kate is sleeping.
• D.W. (V.O.): She's here! My sister's here! Oh, let me see! Let me see!! Let me see!
• Arthur's Mom: Shhh! She's sleeping.
• D.W. (V.O.): Ohhhhh...

---

• That afternoon, Arthur's dad decides to record a video of Kate.
• Arthur's Mom: Arthur, would you like to hold Kate?
• When Arthur holds Kate, she starts crying.
• Arthur: MOM!!! MOM!!!!
• D.W.: Can I hold her? Can I hold her? She doesn't cry when I hold her.

---

• That night, Arthur gets near Kate, which accidentally makes her cry.
• Arthur: Hi, Kate! I'm your big brother.

---

• At school, Francine didn't understand what made Kate cry when Arthur accidentally gets near her.
• Francine: What do you mean, she hates you?
• Arthur: She cries every time I get near her.
• Francine: She's a baby! Babies cry.
• Arthur (V.O.): D.W. doesn't make her cry. Just me!

---

• That Tuesday night, Arthur accidentally gets near Kate, and she cries again. Then on Wednesday afternoon, his mother wants him to babysit Kate while she is gone.
• Arthur's Mom: Arthur, could you watch Kate while I go upstairs?
• Arthur: Uh, are you sure?
• Arthur's Mom: Ohh, I'm sure you'll do just fine!
• Arthur (V.O.): Here, y-you dropped this.
• D.W.: (pissed) ARTHUR!!! WAS THAT ON THE FLOOR?! IT HAS TO BE "STEREBILIZED"!!
• Kate cries, D.W. asks Arthur to hold the pacifier while she gets something from her nurse bag
• D.W.: Hold this. (opens the bag, but things fall on the floor) Darn! (grabs the tissue) Don't worry, I'll take care of everything! (wipes the pacifier with her tissue, blows on it, rubs it on her nurse outfit, and puts it back in Kate's mouth. Then Kate stops crying and falls asleep when the pacifier is in her mouth. Afterwards, the doorbell rings) I'll get it!
• Buster, Brain, Muffy and Francine are at the front door and D.W. answers it
• D.W.: Hi!
• Buster: Can Arthur come out?
• D.W.: No, he's babysitting. Would you like to come in and see my baby?
• Buster, Muffy, Brain and Francine (together): Yeah! Sure!
• When Buster, Muffy, Brain and Francine are in the house, they awe at the way Kate is when she's sleeping
• D.W.: Don't get too close because you have germs!
• Francine: What a cute baby! She looks just like me when I was a baby!
• Kate squirms, spits out her pacifier, and starts crying again
• D.W.: Everybody stand back! I know what she wants! (She then grabs the baby bottle out of her nurse bag and tries giving it to Kate. She jolts her head back and forth, then cries again. D.W. then gives the bottle to Francine) Everyone remain calm!
• Francine: Arthur, aren't you going to help?
• Arthur: No, I'll only make it worse!
• D.W.: I know exactly what to do! Arthur, hold her while I get a clean diaper!
• Buster: Come on Kate! (makes mouth noises, but Kate continues crying)
• Arthur: (Holding Kate and patting her) I wonder what she's trying to tell us! (Kate then burps and sighs. She then falls asleep right in Arthur's shoulders)
• Francine, Muffy, Brain and Buster: Awww......
• Arthur's Mom: Is everything alright? (D.W. is shocked to see that Arthur calmed Kate down)
• Arthur: It is now.
• Buster: Arthur burped the baby right when she was about to explode! (Kate then kisses Arthur, but Buster thinks she's spitting on him) Oh, gross! She's spitting on him!
• Francine: She is not! She's kissing him!
• (Arthur's Mom, Francine, Brain, Muffy and Buster are all in awe. Then D.W. enters the living room proud of what Arthur has done.)

D.W.'s Baby [1.11b]

Arthur: And now it's Kate's very first birthday. (D.W. secretly films Arthur) Cut it out!? Mom, D.W.'s wrecking the video!!!

Buster's Broken Leg [1.11c]

Brain: Oh, no!

Binky: Buster, are you okay?!

Buster: Ow! My leg hurts!

Arthur: What we gonna do! WHAT WE GONNA DO!

Francine: Uh-oh.

D.W.: Come on, Buster, to the Baxter's house.

Arthur Writes a Story [1.12a]

Arthur: I can't do it! [group shushes and blows the Arthur's story away and screams] AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

---

Binky: Did this really happen?

Arthur: Well, sort of. It started out as a story of how I got my dog.

Mr. Ratburn: It did?

Arthur: Yeah, but I thought it might be too boring.

Mr. Ratburn: I'd like to hear that story. Don't worry about what you think people want to hear. Just tell your story the way it means the most to you.

Arthur the Wrecker [1.14a]

D.W.: MOOOOOOM! [sing-song voice] ARTHUR BROKE A WINDOW!

---

[Arthur and Buster are in the computer den]

Buster: Couldn't you just show it to me for one second?

Arthur: I guess. Mom would never even know. [they start playing "Deep Dark Sea"]

D.W: Arthur, what are you doing? Mom told you NOT to play on her computer.

Arthur: We're NOT playing. I'm just showing it to Buster. Go away!

D. W: If I go away, I'll probably tell Daddy. Besides, I want to watch.

Arthur: Okay, you can watch, but be quiet.

Buster: Wow! Even the Brain didn't get this far.

D. W: What's that?

Arthur: I don't know.

Buster: Go to it. Maybe it's the thing.

D. W: A treasure chest!

Buster: I think that's it. That's...

Arthur and Buster: The thing!

Arthur: I think I won. We've got to open it!?

[Arthur and Buster both grab at the mouse, then Buster accidentally knocks the keyboard off the desk along with the mouse which both crash to the floor, Arthur, Buster and D.W gasp in horror and the computer starts buzzing as the CRT monitor starts to flicker in waves, the screen goes nearly black with a dot in the middle, the screen appears again, and then wipes away completely]

Buster: You wrecked it!

Arthur: No, I didn't. Why you knocked the keyboard off the desk.

Buster: Because you pushed my arm. Try turning it off and on again. [Arthur presses the top button below the slot, but nothing seems to budge]

D. W: You killed it!? Now Mommy will lose her job. Then we'll lose the house, and live in the street, and Kate will get pneumonia, and we'll all starve!?

Arthur: D. W., be quiet!? I'm thinking.

D. W: And it's all your fault!? So you better fix it, because I like livin here. [Buster grabs onto the computer tensely]

Arthur: DON'T do that! You'll make it worse.

Buster: Maybe you better call your mom.

Arthur: I can't. She said not to play with it. But now I wrecked it! I've got it. Maybe we could fix it before she gets home.

D. W: Maybe a rich family would have adopt me. I'm cute.

Buster: Who'd know how to fix a computer?

Arthur and Buster: [enthusiastically] Alan!

---

Jane: Bad Arthur! Bad boy!

Arthur's Family Vacation [1.15a]

D.W.: [sings] Guess what, Arthur? You can't go to camp! You can't go to camp! We're going on vacation. We're going on vacation. We're going on vacation.

Grandpa Dave's Old Country Farm [1.15b]

Dave: Okay, kids. Leave those dishes on the table. We're going to the fair!

Arthur: The fair! Alright! Let's go!

D.W.: Hmm-hmm!

Arthur: Oops. Um, Grandpa, the fair sure would be fun, but...

Dave: Like what? Are you feeling sick?

Arthur: No, I'm fine, but we can't go to the fair. We have to stay home today and build the hen-house.

Dave: Horsefeathers. I can't make you two stay here and work, or what'll I tell your folks. And besides, this farm has been in our family for a hundred and fifty...

D.W.: Grandpa! We are your family!

Dave: Oh, well, you have a point there. I guess I could use a couple of... assistants... for a while.

Arthur's Chicken Pox [1.18a]

Arthur & D.W.: [Jane turns off the TV with the TV remote] MOM!!!

Arthur: We were right in the middle!

D.W: 5 more minutes!?

Arthur: It was just getting to the good part!?

D.W.: Oh, Mom! Why do I have to eat at the table?

Mrs. Read: Because you're not sick.

D.W.: Ech! Spinach?! How come Arthur doesn't have to eat spinach?

Mr. and Mrs. Read: Because he's sick.

D.W.: He's not! He's faking.

---

D.W.: Hurry up! I'm next.

Arthur: I don't feel so well.

D.W.: Go on, faker.

Mrs. Read: What is it?

Mr. Read: What's wrong?

D.W.: Arthur has polka dots!

Arthur: What's wrong with me?

Mr. Read: It's chicken pox.

D.W.: Do you get it from chickens?

Mr. Read: No, it's just a normal childhood illness. I had it, your mom had it.

Mrs. Read: I'll call Grandma Thora and see if she can come over while we're at work. She knows all about chicken pox.

D.W.: Does this mean Arthur can't go to the circus?

Mrs. Read: Well, we'll have to see.

Arthur: WHAT?!

Mrs. Read: I'm sorry, honey, but chicken pox is very contagious.

D.W.: Looks like you're not going anywhere for a while. Don't worry. I'll take good care of you.

---

D.W.: Daddy, it's not fair! How come Arthur gets chicken pox and I don't?

Mr. Read: Honey, you're lucky you're not sick. Chicken pox is no fun.

D.W.: Yes, it is! It's more fun than anything!

Mr. Read: More fun than the circus? More fun than elephants and cotton candy and ice cream?

D.W.: Of course!

Mr. Read: Well, you have till tomorrow to decide. If you don't want to go, you can stay home with Arthur.

Sick as a Dog [1.18b]

D.W.: Want to hear a good joke? Knock-knock... (Pal grabs the hotdog and pulls her off her chair.) Hey! The dog stole my wiener! The dog stole my wiener!

David: Arthur, tell Pal to let go!

Arthur: Pal, let go!? [Pal drags D.W. through the kitchen.]

D.W.: It's mine It's mine!

Arthur: Pal, sit! Heel! Stay, lied down! Um... Roll over!! [Pal has got D.W.'s hot dog and as he runs around the kitchen, he pulls D.W. with him]

D.W. Read: Give it back! I don't eat your dog food, do I?! [Pal pulls her under the table. Oof. They play tug-of-war.] Grr! I'll never let go! Never! Ow! [Pal pulls the hotdog out of the bun and she falls backwards, after Pal managed to get D.W.'s wiener and ate it] Someday, I'm gonna teach that dog a lesson he won't forget!?

---

Arthur: How do you make him sick?!

Arthur Makes the Team [1.19b]

Oliver: Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off!!!! [pauses out; Arthur's gone] Where Arthur go?

Arthur's Almost Boring Day [1.20a]

Francine: [singing] It's raining, it's pouring
The old man is snoring. [Oliver snores] And it's driving me nuts!

---

David: EVERYBODY, FREEZE!

---

Arthur: If you'd behaved, we'd still be dry!

D.W.: Me?! I didn't do anything! I'm the cute one! You're annoying!

D.W.'s Snow Mystery [1.22a]

D.W.: You wanna know what's missing? You wanna know what's missing?!

All: Yes! [Their toothpick tower collapses] Aw, not again.

---

Francine: We weren't there when Arthur did it!

Arthur: I didn't do it!

D.W.: Somebody did it. I want a confession. Confess! Confess!

Buster: I've reached a conclusion by discerning the truth from the eyewitness accounts. It's very simple. While we were busy, a space alien materialized. In a scientific search for samples of human food, he took the snowball and nothing else, because he left in a hurry.

Mr. Read: Huh?! Now who left that freezer door open?

Buster: It's the only logical answer. That's why the plate is missing also.

Francine: That's crazy!

D.W.: One of you took my snowball!

Francine: Why don't you just confess, Buster?

Arthur: Yeah!

Buster: Me? Why don't you?!

Francine: It was probably Arthur.

Arthur: Me? How could you think I would do something like that?

Mrs. Read: Whoever did it should just admit it. It's not nice to do this to a little girl.

D.W.: I think you're all in on it. You're trying to break a child's heart. It's a conspiracy!

Grandma Thora: You know, someone's going to get their feelings hurt if everyone doesn't calm down.

Team Trouble [1.22b]

Mr. Ratburn: The Great Wall of China is 1500 miles long. It was built over 2000 years ago and still stands today.

Arthur: Wow.

Buster: [whispers] That's even older than the cafeteria hot dogs.

Mr. Ratburn: Ahem! He shows the next slide. The Appian Way was the chief highway from Rome to Greece. It was built in 312 B.C. It's still in use today. He switches the lights back on. We’re going to divide into teams to study and report on important ancient civilizations. The team to report on Rome: Arthur, Francine and Buster.

[Arthur and Buster high-five, then Francine and Buster.]

Arthur: Great team!

Francine: Oh, boy!

Buster: Great!

Arthur's Tooth [1.24a]

Francine: Baby.

---

Francine: Does anyone have a bib for the baby?

---

Francine: Well, if it isn't Arthur the baby!

---

Francine: Well, if it isn't Arthur the baby!

---

Arthur: Okay. But if you ask me, now you're being a baby.

---

Buster: Arthur's right, Francine.

---

I'm a Poet [1.28a]

Fern: QUIEEEEEEEEET!!!!!! [pauses; birds flaps the wings noises with a car alarm goes off] I bet that none of you can write a poem and finish it in time to submit it to the poetry contest.

My Club Rules [1.29a]

Muffy: Rules, rules, rules. You're out! Get off my property, or I'm calling the police!

Stolen Bike [1.29b]

Laverne: I'm sorry, honey. But we can't afford to get you a new bike. Maybe next year.

Francine: It's not fair! I'll die without a bike. [puts her head down on the table]

Oliver: No! Not that! Anything but that! You mustn't give up, honey! Be brave! Live, I say! LIVE!

Catherine: [walks out of the room] Oh, Dad. Grow up!

Oliver: [calmly] Catherine's right. And besides, I have an idea.

Season 2 (1997-98)

Arthur Meets Mister Rogers [2.1a]

Mr. Rogers: You don't want them to think you're a little kid anymore.

Arthur: Yeah... I mean, no offense.

Mr. Rogers: Sometimes you feel like you're too old for certain things.

Arthur: I just don't want people to make fun of me.

Mr. Rogers: Real friends don't make fun of real friends. And your friends seem like real friends. They all seem to be concerned about you.

Draw! [2.1b]

Mrs. MacGrady: Tissues to your left, dear. I see one more thing. Oh, yes, here's a cartoon of you as green gloop. (clears throat) I said there's a cartoon of you as green gloop! (Mrs MacGrady turns her head to where the students are hiding) Green gloop! (the students pauses for a one little bit; Buster, haves his hands on the rope, quietly let it go; the students feel guilty and decide to stops causes their friend further humiliation and do nothing)

Francine: (blows her nose) I just wish they'd stop.

Arthur's Lucky Pencil [2.2b]

Arthur: What's in the pencil?!

D.W., the Picky Eater [2.3a]

D.W.: Cucumbers: yucky. Mushrooms: yucky. Onions: yucky and smelly. Hey, this isn't lettuce. What kind of a salad is this?

Arthur: Uh-oh! She's gonna pop!

D.W.: This is spinach.

Waiter: Is something the matter?

D.W.: This is spinach, and I... HATE... SPINACH! Uh-oh!

Waiter: That's it! I quit!

Jane: [sternly] Dora Winifred Read!

Grandma Thora: Back so soon? Did you have a good time?

Arthur: D.W. punched her salad and it exploded! [pauses] All over the waiter, and everyone was staring at us.

D.W.: They were NOT! Everyone's making this into such a big deal!

Jane: No more restaurants for you, young lady, until you can behave and learn to eat what's placed in front of you. Now, go to your room.

Arthur: What about Grandma Thora's birthday at the Once Upon a Restaurant next week?

Jane: D.W. will not be joining us.

Arthur: Wow, too bad. Oh, dinner without D.W. I guess we'll just have to suffer through it without her.

Grandma Thora: If D.W. can't come to the restaurant, I'd be just as happy coming over here for dinner.

Arthur: What? And miss Once Upon a Restaurant?

Grandma Thora: It just wouldn't be a happy birthday if D.W. wasn't there!

Arthur: But that's the best restaurant ever! This isn't fair! Am I supposed to do everything with D.W.?

---

[Arthur watches Francine feed Kate spinach]

Francine: Baby Kate is such a big girl! She loves her spinach. Yes, she does. Don't you, Katie-watie?

D.W.: [runs inside] Kate, stop! It's a trick! Don't eat it!

Arthur: No, no, no. Kate is a big girl. Not like some sisters who throw their food and have tantrums like a baby.

D.W.: I'm not a baby!

Arthur: Are, too!

D.W.: Am not!

Arthur: Are too!

Francine: QUIET! If you're not a baby, prove it. [she hands D.W. a spoonful of spinach; D.W. is about to take a bite when Kate spits up her spinach and smiles]

D.W.: Well, looks like I'm not the only one with good taste around here.

---

D.W.: Why is everyone looking at me? I love spinach! Everybody knows that. (Arthur rolls his eyes as D.W. sits back and smiles.)

Arthur Makes a Movie [2.4a]

Buster: And then, the evil genius escapes in his supersonic jet to his other space station shaped which is shaped like a giant clam and...

Arthur: Buster, snap out of it!

Francine: Buster, there's no way we could do something that complicated.

Buster: Huh?! Oh, you're right. Why even bother?

Brain: Well, we could do a supersonic jet.

Buster: Really?

Brain: Paper. Marker. Spy-paint. Tah-da!

Buster: Wow! It's just like I imagined! Better! Woof. Woof.

---

Prunella: Wow! I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it was nothing like the James Hound movie...

Arthur: Oh yeah? Well, we tried but...

Prunella: It was much better!

Arthur: Really?

Muffy: And the next one's going to be even better! Oops! [ejects the videotape]

Go To Your Room D.W. [2.4b]

D.W.: (plays with dolls on the living room floor) This is Tiffany and this is her servant. And this is their lifeboat and these are the angry sharks... (Kate grabs Tiffany and D.W. gasps) No! I'll do the playing! You just watch me! (Both Kate and D.W. pull at the doll. The head falls off and D.W. gasps.) Aah! Look what you did!

Jane: Play nicely, D.W.

D.W.: Be she killed Tiffany! [Kate giggles]

Mrs. Read: Here. Give that to me. This looks easy to fix. Don't worry. (She gives D.W. the fixed doll back.) Ahh, there we go! Good as new! No need to get excited!

D.W.: How come you're always on her side?!

Jane: I am not on anyone's side, but Kate's a baby and, and you're a big girl.

D.W.: [angrily] I am NOT a big girl, I'm a little girl! (Kate chuckles) Be quiet, you!

Jane: D.W.?

D.W.: You sweet, little baby-wayby! (She sees Mrs. Read leaves the room) This is mine! You can only touch it when I say so.

Mrs. Read: [sternly] D.W.!

D.W.: Give that back or I'll… PINCH you! [Mrs. Read grabs her] AAAHH!! [drops the Tiffany doll]

Jane: Dora Winifred Read, go to your room.

D.W.: But what did I do?

---

D.W.: What about my supper? How will I survive?!

Jane: Supper's not till six. You'll be out long before then.

D.W.: But what if you forget about me? I could starve to death! Mommy! Mommy! (She clings to her mother’s leg. Mrs. Read looks annoyed. She sits D.W. down on the bed.)

Jane: It's 4:30 now. When the clock says 4:40, you can come downstairs. And I'll set the alarm, so you'll know it's time. (D.W. pretends to cry in her pillow.)

D.W.: You don't love me! You only love Kate and Arthur and Daddy and Pal and... and Grandpa, and Aunt Lucy, and...and... (Mrs. Read has left the room and Nadine reappears.) How long did she say?

Nadine: 10 minutes. When it says 4:31, that means one minute has gone by.

---

David: [after D.W.'s fantasy] What are you doing?

D.W.: The clock broke and time stopped and I was comin' to warn you-

David: Nice try, D.W. Back to your room, now.

D.W.: [goes backs upstairs to her room] Sheesh! You don't have to treat me like a criminal.

---

D.W.: (sobs) And what about when Cousin Lucy got married? I had to stay at home and cook and clean while everyone else went to the wedding. (Imaginary flashback: D.W., in rags again, which are now completely tattered, cleans the fireplace up and sneezes)

Jane: [angrily] AREN'T YOU DONE YET?! YOU STILL HAVE THE BEDS TO MAKE AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE BREAKFAST DISHES!!

D.W.: Can't I go to the wedding, PLEASE?!

Jane: Weddings are NOT for little girls!

D.W.: But what about Kate? She's going.

Jane: (maniacally) Kate is a baby! Besides, we like her better than you! Ready, everyone? [they leaves]

Arthur: Don't forget to brush the dog. (D.W. swipes away tears. She watches from the window as the family gets in the car with Arthur screams. The flashback ends. D.W. sobs in her pillow.)

D.W.: [cries] It's so sad being me.

Nadine: But you went to the wedding, D.W.

D.W.: Whose side are you on, anyway?

---

D.W.: Are you sure my clock is working? Maybe I've really been in here for hours.

Jane: Your clock is working perfectly. Go back to your room.

D.W.: That's it. I'm phoning Grandma's. At least she likes me... (In her imagination, Mr. Read picks up the phone in the kitchen. Grandma Thora is phoning from her kitchen with D.W. sitting next to her eats cookies.)

David: Hello?

Thora: Son, this is your mother. What do you mean by punishing poor little D.W.? (looks at D.W.) Eat up, lovey. You can have all the cookies you want. (returns to call) How could you?! Look at this little angel. This child is perfect. (A halo appears over D.W.'s head) Punish Arthur. He's the real troublemaker!

David: Absolutely! Yes, of course, Mom. Arthur, go to your room and never come out!

Arthur: [gulps]

Arthur's Very Bad Mood [2.4c]

Jane: It's not your fault, D.W.

Nothing, Nothing [2.4d]

Buster: [Arthur sobs] I'm sorry, Arthur, I wasn't really to Francine's sing a song while playing strums the guitar, okay.

Arthur's Underwear [2.5a]

Binky: Come on, Arthur, to the kitchen.

Play It Again, D.W. [2.6b]

Arthur: D.W. I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such word as "busalooey". If you don't stop, I'm gonna wreck that C.D.!

D.W.: MOM!

Mr. Read: I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I known I lost it.

Mrs. Read: Found it!

Mr. Read: Great!

D.W.: Mom, Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus!

Mrs. Read: Turn it off! I can't hear you!

Mr. Read: Arthur?

D.W.: Mom and Dad say if you touch it, then they'll adopt you to another country without TV.

Mrs. Read: D.W., wash up for dinner.

D.W.: What were they thinking when they invented brothers? What a dopey idea!

---

Mrs. Read: D.W., are you alright?

Mr. Read: What's wrong?

D.W. Crazy Bus is gone! I left it on the thing and it's gone! Gone!!

Mr. Read: Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.

D.W.: I know! Arthur took it!

Arthur: I didn't!

Mr. Read: Honestly, Arthur?

Arthur: I didn't take it, Dad, really!

D.W.: Yeah, like you didn't take my snowball out of the freezer!

Arthur: Let's not start that again!

D.W.: Life is so unfair! Mommy, I can't sleep because I'm starting to forget how the song goes!

Francine: She's giving me the creeps, Arthur. Why don't you just give her the CD back?

Arthur: I don't have it! Don't you believe me?

Francine: Mmm-mmm!

Night Fright [2.7b]

Burger Mom: Put down my boy, you big bully!

D.W. Goes to Washington [2.10a]

D.W.: Of course I can hear you. What did you say?

David: We're deciding where to take a trip.

D.W.: I vote for Ponyland! I have to go! It's like a dream come true! Please?

Arthur: Remember the last time we went to a place D.W. saw on TV?

---

Arthur T. Read: "Share a sundae with Santa and his friendly reindeer.”

Santa: ?

Unknown: ?

---

D.W.: Okay, so maybe it won't be as great as Santa's Igloo, but I must go to Ponyland!

David: How would you feel about going to Washington D.C.?

D.W.: Ponyland!

Jane: There are lots of great things in Washington.

D.W.: I don't see any ponies!

Arthur: Washington is where the president lives!

D.W.: I don't care about the president! I care about ponies!

David: If you go where Arthur chose this time, you can plan our next trip, okay?

D.W.: Promise?

David: Promise.

D.W.: Okay. Okay, I'll go.

David: It'll be fun.

D.W.: Since I made such a sacrifice, maybe you’ll buy me a pony?

David: No.

D.W.: I could keep it in my room?

David: No.

D.W.: I wouldn’t ride it in the house?!

David: NO!?

---

Arthur: I'm Arthur Read. Mr. President?

D.W.'s Deer Friend [2.11a]

Mr. Read: Hold it! Where are you taking the cereal?

D.W.: Walter is hungry.

Mr. Read: Slam in your brakes! Walter who?

D.W.: Walter Deer!

Mr. Read: Walter Deer? Whoa! D.W., our food isn't good for deer to eat.

D.W.: Don't worry, Dad, I'm not gonna let him eat it. I'm just gonna get him to come close to me.

Mr. Read: D.W., that's not safe, and it's not allowed. You can look at the deer.

D.W.: But if all I had to do was look, then I might as well be at home watching TV.

Mr. Read: This is the deer's home. You wouldn't like it if someone fed you strange food in your home.

D.W.: I would, if it was a deer.

Buster Hits the Books [2.11b]

Fern: What are you writing your book report on, Arthur?

Arthur: I've read a lot of good books lately. I'm trying to choose between the two best.

Brain: If you can't decide, I've read an exciting book about magnetic fields that I highly recommend.

[Arthur, Buster and Fern's mouths fall open]

Fern: No thanks, it can't be as good as "The Case of the Creepy Shadow." [she pulls out that book.]

Brain: What about you, Buster? [he pulls out a set of magnets sticking to one another] It's intriguing reading and comes with six free magnets.

Buster: Um, sounds great, Brain, but I plan to do what I always do. Book reports are no sweat.

Arthur's Faraway Friend [2.12a]

Arthur: I thought he was my best friend, but he wants to go.

Sue Ellen: I bet he doesn't want to go.

Arthur: He could have stayed and lived in a pit, but he said no. What does that tell you?

Sue Ellen: Try thinking how Buster will feel. You're losing one friend, but everything else stays the same for you.

Arthur: Yeah? So?

Sue Ellen: Buster's losing all his friends and going to a place where everything is new. It can be scary. I know. We moved a lot because of my father's job. It's hard.

Arthur: Buster probably needs a best friend now more than ever.

Arthur the Unfunny [2.13b]

Brain: Yeah.

Binky: You said it!

Arthur's Knee [2.14b]

Arthur: I've decided to stay around the house, help out with some chores and stuff.

Francine: Huh? Why?

Arthur: Oh, you know, I figured I violated my parents' trust by going to the dump. I should think about what I did and stuff.

Sue Ellen: Well, Arthur, that's really adult of you.

D.W.: Arthur! Since Mom and Dad grounded you, I've decided to ground myself too, so I can keep you company.

Grandma Thora Appreciation Day [2.15a]

[Arthur and D.W. sit at the breakfast table in their pajamas. Mrs. Read makes scrambled eggs on toast.]

Mrs. Read: Planning a party is a lot of work, you know.

D.W.: How hard can it be? You invite people and they come!

Mrs. Read: Speaking of people, let's keep this small. Just Grandma Thora's closest friends, okay?

D.W.: That's no fun! Can't we do stuff like rent an elephant or a zebra?

Mrs. Read: No elephants, D.W., just a nice, small, quiet party. Are you listening, Arthur?

[Arthur goes on reading the cereal box without looking]

Arthur: Yeah, Mom, a nice, small, quiet...

Love Notes for Muffy [2.16a]

(She pulls Fern away. Fern gives Francine a reproving look. In Francine’s imagination she and Brain are standing in an old English courtroom wearing prisoner’s clothes. Arthur as prosecutor is questioning Fern. Mr. Ratburn is the judge.)

Arthur: And before Muffy Crosswire hired you, you knew who wrote the note.

Fern: I deduced immediately it was Brain and Francine. Of course I had to tell Muffy. My reputation was at stake.

Nigel Ratburn (Judge): [bangs with the gavel] That's all the evidence I need to hear. Guilty as charged!

Francine: [takes her to the locks in a jail cell with Brain] But it was just a joke... just a joke...just a joke...a joke...

---

Muffy: They're here because of me.

D.W. Blows the Whistle [2.16b]

Arthur: But this is a race courses.

D.W.: [locks the Arthur and Brain in a jail cell] And obstructing justice!?

---

Arthur: What do you mean you want me to take D.W. to the race?!

Mrs. Read: We'll meet you guys down there. We have to drop Kate off at Grandma Thora's first.

Arthur: Couldn't you get a babysitter or something? She's just gonna blow her whistle at everyone!

D.W.: Am not! Not unless I see someone who's not being safe.

Mr. Read: You have been getting a little carried away with your whistle, D.W.

D.W.: But I'm just doing what Officer Safety said to do.

Mrs. Read: He didn't mean for you to be a tattletale, D.W. He just wants you to let people know when someone's doing something dangerous, okay?

D.W.: I guess.

Mr. Read: Good. Now, tomorrow, Arthur, you will take D.W. to the race. And, D.W., you will not bother Arthur.

Francine Redecorates [2.17a]

Francine: Wow! [flashback in the jungle and then Tarzan yells and falls off the vines] Uh! Ow!?

D.W.'s Very Bad Mood [2.18b]

Jane: D.W., one at a time!

D.W.: You're always picking on me. You never pick on anyone else. Only me, me, ME!

Jane: You know that's not true, D.W. Everybody has to eat politely and that includes you.

D.W.: That does NOT include me! You never include me. You always make me stay home whenever there's anything fun. Only Arthur gets to have fun! Only Arthur...

Francine: D.W., can I ask you a question?

D.W.: Maybe.

Francine: What's the matter with you?! [D.W. gasps and runs out of the room, cries]

Arthur: [sarcastic] That was great. You really solved the problem.

Francine: I didn't think she'd get so upset.

David: It's not your fault, Francine.

Francine: May I be excused? [Francine walks up the stairs and into D.W.’s room where D.W. is sobs on her bed.]

D.W.: (cries)

Francine: I'm sorry, D.W. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but you really are being a total doofus. If you know what I mean.

D.W.: Who asked you? You don't even live here.

Francine: Well, nobody asked me. But I'm Arthur's friend. When something's buggin' him, I wanna help.

D.W.: You know what, Francine?!

Francine: What?

D.W.: Go... go... home. I'm too tired to think of any more mean things to say.

---

David: Thank heavens you're here! Upstairs, and to the right.

Policeman: You have the right to remain silent!

D.W.: I WILL NOT BE SILENT! [stands up and crosses arms] I'LL BE AS LOUD AS I WANT! A-AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! NO ONE CAN STOP ME! WHO MADE YOU THE BOSS OF THE WORLD?!

Policeman: We need back up, fast!

Binky: Cool. When is that gonna be on?

---

Arthur: She's eating her sandwich, she's making a face, she's spitting the baloney into her hand... She's throwing it into the bushes. Pal is eating the bal... Pal!! Put that down!? [Pauses]

Francine: Quiet! Spies don't yell.

Arthur: Sorry. I couldn't help it. Seeing Pal eats spit-covered baloney?! Yuck!

Francine: Give me those! Where'd she go? (D.W. appears right in front of her looking angrily.) Augh!

D.W.: I know what you're doing and it won't work!?

Arthur: She's not saying anything. And it's 10 o’clock and I'm tired!?

---

Arthur: Great, we spent all that money, and we still don't know what's wrong with her, except she's driving me absolutely busalooey, and you know how much I hate that word!

Francine: Arthur, D.W. and I are going to get some ice cream. Why don't you go home?

Arthur: What?!

Francine: I'm sorry, this is just for girls. See you later.

Arthur's Bad Dream [2.18c]

Jane: Arthur, are you okay?!

David: What's wrong?!

D.W.: What's going on?

Arthur: [cries] It's just a bad dream.

D.W.: Well least things could getting worse.

Francine's Unwell [2.18d]

Francine: Oops! [groaning] I'm sickly.

Muffy: Francine, are you okay!

Binky: Francine, what happened?!

Arthur: Oh, no! Come on, Francine, let's go to the nurse office.

Ms. Flynn: Now, what's the unwell in the stomachache. [Francine groans in puts the temperature in her mouth]

Buster: Are you sick?

George: He could thrown up yet?

Arthur: Did you 21 hour bug yet?

---

Catherine: [gasps] Oh, no! Francine, what's wrong?!

Oliver: It's a chicken pox.

Francine: [groaning] It's a polkadots.

---

Arthur: What about the once upon a restaurant?!

D.W.: [sulk] No dinner for you, Arthur, [Kate giggles] until you better behave learns to eat what's place in front of you.

Arthur: Mom, D.W.'s is sulk in dinner is not coming over!

Jane: D.W.!

David: D.W.!

D.W.'s Tale of the Train [2.18e]

D.W.: Uh...

Fern: Perhaps to the should train tickets.

D.W.'s Name Game [2.19a]

Arthur: (as Wizard) AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm melting! I'm melting!? AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

D.W.: Nobody told you'd melt! Arthur!

Arthur: (as Wizard) Calling people names can be dangerous to their health.

Finders Key-pers [2.19b]

D.W.: Hey! MOOOOOOM!!!

Jane: Arthur, you know you're not suppose to take the sisters things.

Season 3 (1998-99)

I'd Rather Read It Myself [3.2b]

D.W.: Oh, no?!

Arthur Read Gnome in Karaoke Dancy-Dance Party [3.3c]

Francine: [singing] Dance to the music

Arthur: Dance, D.W.!

Francine & Arthur: [singing] Dance to the music

D.W.: [singing] Oh yeah!

The Chips Are Down [3.5a]

Francine: ?

---

D.W.: Arthur, NOOOOO!!

Arthur: Hey! Mom, D.W. swiped my chip!

Binky Rules [3.6a]

Buster: Wait! This is all wrong! Try it again, pal!

Arthur's Treasure Hunt [3.9a]

Jane: After I specifically told you not to. I'm disappointed in you, Arthur. Very disappointed.

The Return of the King [3.9b]

Mr. Pryce-Jones: Quick, lads and lasses! V = u + a t. Now!!! [The Lakewood students fall in the mud. Lakewood Students moans. Mr. Pryce-Jones comes up to Mr. Ratburn.] I see they don't know Newton's formula for constant acceleration yet. The clocks are ticking, Ratburn.

Arthur's Almost Live Not Real Music Festival [3.11b]

Arthur: So, what did you think?

Buster: Pretty good for just two guys in a cardboard TV, huh?

D.W.: It was okay for the basement, but it would never work on real TV. [the end title appears] By the way, who's Dewey?

D.W.'s Perfect Wish [3.14b]

Arthur: D.W., did you forget that your birthday's today?

D.W.: No. How could I forget about my own birthday? Now leave me alone!

Arthur: Aah! How could D.W. not be excited about her birthday?

Arthur and D.W. Clean Up [3.15a]

D.W.: I'm drowning! Help me!

Mrs. Read: Toys stay out of the cereal, please.

Arthur: I'm going to Happy-Crazy-Wow Day with Buster!

Mrs. Read: Arthur, you're not going anywhere until you clean your room!

Arthur: But I just told Buster and I promised I'd meet him!

Mrs. Read: Then you will have to call him back and tell him you will meet him later. You've put this off long enough now. D.W., as soon as you've finished eating, I want you to work on your room too. It's as messy as your brother's.

Arthur: But that'll take forever! I'll miss Happy-Crazy-Wow Day!

Mr. Read: I have an idea! When I was little and my brother and I had chores to do, we had a say, many hands make light work.

Mrs. Read: Honey, I'm not...

Mr. Read: Hear me out on this. In other words, the more hands you had, the easier the work became.

Arthur: It does sound kind of cool.

Mr. Read: That's the spirit! It'll go more than twice as fast. Trust me. So why don't you start on Arthur's room first? Whoa, whoa, whoa, time out! Do me a favor and just try it. I think you'll be surprised at how well it works.

Arthur: Let's do this quick. I'm going to be late.

D.W.: Ewww!

---

D.W.: Ooh! Look what I found!

Arthur: Stop looking like that! You can't read!

D.W.: I don't have to read to know what this is.

Arthur: It's a note from Francine.

D.W.: I knew it! Arthur has a girlfriend! Arthur has a girlfriend! "Dear Arthur, I love you."

Arthur: It says "Arthur, don't forget to bring your baseball mitt to school on Monday. Francine."

D.W.: Arthur and Francine! Arthur loves Francine!

Arthur: I'll take care of this stuff. You go clean up from under the bed.

D.W.: If you don't love Francine, then why is your face all red? That just proves you really love her! Arthur loves Francine!

Arthur: MOM!

Mr. Read: I'll take care of it. Look, Arthur, it's very simple: the less time you spend fighting with D.W., the faster you'll get to the park, right?

Arthur: But she keeps bothering me!

D.W.: Who, me?

Mr. Read: Look, if you both work as fast as you can and talk less, you'll be done in no time.

Arthur: I will if she will.

Mr. Read: There. Now, why not see how fast you can go?

---

Mr. Read: The important thing is to really try to work together. It's the only way this will work!

Arthur: How can we work together when she won't let me put things away?!

D.W.: Can I say something?

Mrs. Read: Arthur, D.W. helped you clean your room, so now it's up to you to return the favor.

D.W.: I have something to say!

Arthur: But I'm missing Happy-Crazy-Whatever-It-Is Day!

Mr. Read: That's not D.W.'s fault! If you'd cleaned your room when you were supposed to, Arthur, you wouldn't have this problem!

The Long, Dull Winter [3.15b]

Francine: Maybe you didn't get it. (sings) The weather outside is crummy--

Buster Baxter: Stop singing! NO MORE SINGING!!!

Extended Ending

Francine: [sings: "Nothing To Do Today Day" while playing strums the guitar]

Season 4 (1999)

Arthur's Big Hit [4.1b]

Francine: (steps into a boxing ring inside a large stadium and grabs the microphone) Presenting the Main Event! The Champion, Arthurrrrr Read!

Arthur: (walks to the ring while people cheer and throw flowers and climbs into the ring.) I've been waiting for this fight for years. There's no way I can lose.

Francine: And the challenger. Dora Winifred Read!

(D.W. rides down a ramp on her bicycle and does a somersault into the ring. She is wearing a bicycle helmet and has a unicorn on the back of her robe. Buster takes off Arthur’s robe. D.W. takes off hers and reveals a shirt with a picture of Arthur’s head with Xs for eyes. Buster puts Arthur’s gloves on. Nadine waves her wand and gloves appear on D.W.’s hands. Both Arthur and D.W. get mouth guards. Francine waves both to the center of the ring.)

Arthur: Prepare to lose!

D.W.: What?

Arthur: I said Prepare to lose!

D.W.: (points at the subtitles.) This doesn't help. I can't read.

Francine: Ge-e-et ready to fight!

The two boxers circle each other.

D.W.: Arthur!

Arthur: (sees D.W. sitting in the audience eating snacks) 2 D.W.s?

D.W.: No, not two D.W.s. There's only one of me.

In the ring, the other boxer takes off a D.W. mask, revealing himself to be Binky. Arthur’s mouthguard drops out of his mouth

Binky: We figured you'd rather fight someone your own size.

Arthur: You know. You're right. I would love to fight someone my own size. You wait here. I'll go find someone. (screams)

Binky: (enraged) Come back and fight!

D.W.: (laughs)

---

Arthur sits at his desk with a model kit.

D.W.: (sees a model kit) What kind of a game is that?

Arthur: It's not a game. It's a scale model of a Bell X-1 Rocket Plane. The plane that broke the sound barrier.

D.W.: The sound barrier must be pretty hard. (takes out some pieces) Because this plane is all smashed up.

Arthur: It's not smashed. I'm gonna build it. (furiously pounds his fist on desk and yells at D.W.) Stop touching everything! You'll mix up the pieces!

D.W.: I’ve never heard of toys that come already broken.

Arthur: (angrily tries to strangle D.W. while glaring at her)

D.W.: I'm going. Never say I don't go when you want me to go, because I'm going. Like that. (snaps her fingers) The minute you want me to go, I'm on my way out of here. No waiting.

Arthur: (turns red with anger and screams at D.W.) Go already!

D.W.: And if you say please, I go even faster. Because when the...

Arthur: (growls and angrily kicks D.W. out of his room and slams the door on her face)

---

The next day, Arthur paints the model in the dining room. D.W. suddenly appears beside him.

D.W.: Is that the same broken plane you were fixing yesterday?

Arthur: (angrily screams at D.W.) Don't do that! I need to concentrate!

D.W.: That's a pretty color. (accidentally spills a paint bottle of orange paint over the building instructions which pisses Arthur off)

Arthur: (shouts angrily)

D.W.: (nervous laugh) Bye.

Arthur chases D.W. around angrily

---

Later, Arthur and Buster walk upstairs.

Arthur: I've been working the plane all week. It's hard, but I'm almost done. (catches D.W. touching his plane and gets pissed off at her) D.W., don't touch that!! The paint isn't dry! (angrily snatches the plane away and sees fingerprints all over it. D.W.’s fingers are colored orange)

D.W.: Ew!! Mommy, Arthur made my hands orange!

Arthur chases D.W. out of his room

Buster: I never thought about it before, but being an only child is nice.

---

Later, Arthur puts the finished model on a stool in his room.

Arthur: It's the best thing I've ever made.

In his imagination, Arthur sits on a table on a stage. Beside him sits an astronaut.

Astronaut: Arthur Read. You win the blue ribbon. (puts the ribbon on the model)

Arthur flies the Bell X-1.

The fantasy ends

Arthur: This calls for a celebration snack. (walks downstairs with Pal)

D.W.: Did I hear you say cookies? (sees the plane in Arthur’s room and mischievously sneaks inside)

Arthur: (grabs the dog bag for Pal) Good boy!

D.W.: (runs around holding the plane) D.W. Read to headquarters! Sound barrier broken! What's my next mission, General? (sees the open window) There's a good breeze today, General!

Arthur: (makes airplane noises) Arthur Read, winner of 5000 blue ribbons, requesting landing coordinates! (makes airplane noises)

Outside the window, the model plane falls to the ground. D.W. comes down.

D.W.: Arthur. You made that plane all wrong. It doesn't fly at all.

Arthur: No, D.W. I made it exactly ri... What?!

The screen shatters like glass.

Outside the house, the sky has become gray

Arthur: (looks up at the open window, then down at his smashed plane, gasps, picks up the broken fuselage and looks terrified)

In his imagination, he flies the plane, but it suddenly falls to pieces. He hovers in midair for a second, then he falls, followed by his helmet and, finally, his glasses.

Arthur: (screams)

(The fantasy ends.)

D.W.: If it could break the sound barrier, falling out of a window shouldn't be able to break it.

Arthur: (angrily confronts D.W.) I told you not to touch it!

D.W.: You built it all wrong! Did you even read the directions? It didn't fly for one second! It's not my fault if you made a plane that can't fly.

Arthur: (furious strangles D.W.) I TOLD YOU...NOT TO TOUCH IT!!!!!! (angrily punches D.W. that nearly does not kills her sitting down grass with blood and pauses for a few 2nds; D.W. stands up and sobs)

D.W.: Ouch! (cries and runs away with tears)

Mrs. Read: Arthur Timothy Read, come here!

Arthur: Uh-oh, middle name!

D.W.: (cries in the hospital bed with bruises on her neck, arms and blood cell in blue over her dress) Are they gonna have to amputake my arm?!

Mr. Read: No, honey, it's "amputate", not "amputake".

D.W.: (shrieking) They're gonna amputate?!

Mr. Read: No, I'm in charge here and I'm putting some ice on it. [D.W. screams and cries] What's wrong?

D.W.: (cries) That's cold!

Mrs. Read: [sulks and worried] Apologize to your sister.

Arthur: No way! She should apologize to me! I worked all week on this! I told her a million times not to touch it!

D.W.: (with tears and sulks in her eyes) You're bad!

Mr. Read: [sulks] Arthur, this means; No TV for a week.

Arthur: (shocked) What?! (angrily) That is so unfair! (crosses arms) You don't even care about what she did to me!

Mrs. Read: We'll deal with what she did, but what you did is wrong too.

Arthur: Hmph! So I missed Bionic Bunny last night, and now I can't watch TV all week! Can you believe that?

Buster: No, I don't believe it. You hit your sister? That's terrible!

Arthur: Oh, come on! Like you've never hit anyone!?

Buster: Nope.

---

Binky: Did you hear that? Arthur hit his sister! I, for one, am shocked!

Dog Boy: How could you be shocked about someone hitting someone?

Binky: Why not?

Molly: You're Binky Barnes, you always... You know, I can't remember the last time you hit anybody.

Binky: Wh-what do you mean? [the bell rings] There's the bell! Ha, don't want to be late. [Binky, Molly, Rattles and Dog Boy walk away]

---

The Tough Customers corner Binky at his locker

Molly: So, when was it, Bink?

Dog Boy: Binky does not have to remind us of his past glorious fights.

Binky: That's right.

Dog Boy: That he is not afraid of no one is a well-established factoid.

Binky: That's right.

Dog Boy: And he can prove it easily by socking the very next kid who turns that corner!

Binky: That's right. [realizes what Dog Boy said] What?!

Arthur comes around the corner and passes by

Molly: Go ahead, Binky. Sock him!

Binky: [stubbornly] Maybe I don't feel like it.

Molly: You better feel like it or you're out of the club.

Binky: [enraged and angrily grabs Molly by the shirt] I can't be out of the club! It's my club. I founded it!

Molly: If you wanted everything your own way, you shouldn't have let anyone else join. The next time you see that kid, you sock him!

Binky: The next time I see Arthur, I have to hit him. Oh, what can I do? Hey! What if I never see him?

---

Francine: Arthur, why didn't you just apologize?

Arthur: Oh, come on! She wrecked my plane! Why can't anybody see my side of this?

Muffy: Uh, because you're wrong.

Francine: [turns to Binky at the next table. Binky avoids looking in Arthur’s direction] Hey, Binky. Did you hear that Arthur hit his little sister?

Binky: Well, I haven't seen Arthur. As far as I know, Arthur isn't even here.

Francine: Binky is so upset about what Arthur did that he won't even look at him.

Class has started

Mr. Ratburn: When the day and night are of equal length, it's called the equinox.

The bell rings and Binky immediately runs out. He meets the Tough Customers

Molly: You socked that kid yet?

Binky: Haven't see him. (chuckles, walks away) I am so smart.

---

Binky waits outside the school cafeteria. Buster and Francine walk by.

Binky: Psst. Hey. Is Arthur in there?

Francine: Yeah.

Binky: I'll just eat outside then. (walks away)

Francine: Binky won't even eat near Arthur.

Buster: That's awful. We should bring them together. Arthur will thank us.

---

Shortly afterwards, Binky is having lunch on the lawn behind the school.

Buster: [drags Arthur out of the door] Binky's out here somewhere.

Binky: Er.. oof! [He jumps into a bush. A soccer ball flies into the bush]

Sue Ellen: I'll get it! [Binky hands it out] Thanks. [stops and comes back] Binky? What are you doing?

Binky: Avoiding Arthur. If I don't see him, I don't have to hit him.

Sue Ellen: Oh. Why would you want to hit Arthur?

Binky: I don't. That's why I don't wanna see him.

Sue Ellen: Hmm... Boys. [walks away]

---

Binky: [paces outside the boys’ room. Brain comes out] Is Arthur in there?

Brain: No.

Binky: [runs in, very relieved] Oh... Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!

---

Arthur: She broke my plane!

Fern: But she's just a little girl.

Arthur: Saying D.W. is just a little girl is like saying a tornado is just a little wind!

Binky is hiding behind an ornamental plant

Buster: Hey, Arthur! Over here!

Binky: Shh! [grabs Buster and pulls him behind the plant]

Arthur: Thought someone called my name.

---

The school bell rings and kids leave the building

Binky: [holds an open book around his head] I made it through one whole day. Now only... the rest of my life to go.

Binky, Molly, Rattles and the Dog Boy stand near the Sugar Bowl

Binky: So I never saw that glasses kid again. Probably never will.

Arthur: [runs after them] Hey Binky! You dropped your pen when you ran out of school, kind of sideways, at the end of the day.

Molly: Here's the chance you've been waiting for.

Dog Boy: Show him, Binky! Pop him 1! (Binky looks at Arthur holding his pen, walks towards him and hits in the balls)

Arthur: (falls down and holds his balls) Ow!

Molly: Okay, you're right. He will hit anybody.

Dog Boy: All right Binky, you're still in the club! Binky? Where are you going?! Hey, Binky!

The Tough Customers ran after Binky

Arthur: Ouch!

---

Arthur: And the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. It hurt, and it was embarrassing, and...

Mr. Read: Well, maybe that's how D.W. felt when you punched her.

Arthur: Maybe. But what's that got to do with this? Binky Barnes is huge!

Mrs. Read carries D.W. with a body cast on her neck and arm and bandaid on her nose and his parents look at him

Arthur: (calms down) Yeah, I guess I get it. (walks into the dining room where D.W. is waiting) I'm sorry I hit you.

D.W.: And I'm sorry I broke your plane. But what kind of a stupid plane doesn't fly?

Arthur: A model plane.

D.W.: Well, I didn't know. I'm just a child. Give me a break!

---

Binky: Arthur! Hey. I feel rotten. I want to apologize.

Arthur: I just wanna thank you.

Binky: You... you what?

Arthur: Everybody told me I was wrong and I didn't get it. But... you made me understand how bad I made D.W. feel.

Binky: Well, you're welcome. But I wouldn't try to help you learn some boring lesson. It was an accident.

[The other Tough Customers come.]

Dog Boy: It's the kid who got hit by Binky and lived.

Molly: You deserve to be in our club together, kid.

Binky: There is no club. I founded it and I'm de-founding it. Any club that makes you want to do something you don't wanna do is dumb. Anybody want to make something of it?

Dog Boy: Um, no.

Binky: Come on, Arthur. Let's go get a soda.

Molly: Aw, man. Now we’ve got no club. [Binky walks up to them] Ah!

Binky: You guys wanna come with us? How about we form a new club with no dumb hitting and stuff? And if anybody breaks that rule, I'll clobber 'em.

The Contest [4.4a]

Muffy: We could write about things that really happened to us.

Francine: There's only one problem. Nothing's ever happened to us. They start walking home.

Arthur: Are you kidding? What about when we first had Mr. Ratburn? We thought he was a monster.

Buster: Right. Or when I moved away.

Francine: I guess you could do something about when I taught Arthur to play baseball.

The Blizzard [4.5a]

Mr. Ratburn: [enters the classroom] Sorry, I'm late. Let's jump right into work.

[Just then, the lights in the classroom go out]

Mr. Haney: Bad news! The storm is getting worse, the buildings lost electricity, so the school is closed.

[Mr. Ratburn gasps while the class cheer]

---

Oliver: I tried all night, but the plower's stuck. None of the roads can get plowed now.

Francine: Daddy, look! It's too cold to write. I have to stop doing my report.

The Rat Who Came to Dinner [4.5b]

Arthur: Good night, Mom! Good night, Dad!

Mr. and Mrs. Read: Good night, Arthur!

Arthur: Good night, Mr. Ratburn!

Mr. Ratburn: Good night, Arthur! Good night, D.W.!

D.W.: Good night, Mr. Ragberp!

Arthur: Good night, Pal!

[Pal barks "good night"]

Mr. Ratburn: Good night, Pal! Will there be more cake tomorrow?

To Beat or Not to Beat [4.7b]

Muffy: [shocked and plugged the ears] What in the world is that?! Turn it off!

That's A Baby Show [4.10b]

Arthur: Mom says I'm watching the Dark Bunny after your baby show ends!

D.W.: Mary Moo Cow is not a baby show!

Season 5 (2000)

The World Record [5.4a]

D.W.: Mom!!! Arthur's botherin' me!!

You Are Arthur [5.5b]

D.W.: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17,) 18, 19, 20, 20, 20.

Arthur: You have already said XX!

Francine Goes to War [5.6b]

Francine: Okay, okay. I know I shouldn't have, but she started it. She complained about my playing drums and she was banging on my wall and…

Oliver: Francine Frensky! I don't care if Mrs. Pariso threw a water balloon at you. She is an elderly lady and you will treat her with respect.

Francine: But…

Oliver: No buts! You're grounded for two days.

Sleep No More [5.7a]

Arthur: Hello, today as a special treat, my esteemed colleague, Professor Baxter, is going to speak to us about a subject he knows all about.

Pet Peeved [5.7b]

Binky: Nemo, stop that scratchin'. Nemo, please stop that. Nemo?! Stop that! Thank you.

---

Francine: [angrily] You were supposed to wake me up, I gave you specific instructions, great, now I'm late, (you know what,) no food for you today, Nemo!? Now clean this floor, I want it to shine, come on, Nemo, clean!? Pull!? Let's go, Nemo, move it!?

D.W.: [disembodied] Give that back, or I'll... PINCH you!?

The Last of Mary Moo Cow [5.8a]

Mary Moo Cow: [singing] Oh, D.W., oh, D.W., I love you.

D.W.: Really, Moo?

Mary Moo Cow: There is no one smarter.

D.W.: Yeah, tell that to Arthur!

Mary Moo Cow: Arthur? Bleh

Arthur's Family Feud [5.10a]

Mr. Read: I've heard enough! No T.V. for both of you for II months!?

Arthur & D.W.: (What?! Two months?)

Francine: (Arthur & D.W. never said it.)

Arthur: Why am I being punished? It was her fault!

D.W.: Was not!

Arthur: Was too!

Mr. Read: That's it, III months!

Arthur & D.W.: Three months?!

Mrs. Read: David. Maybe that is a bit...

Mr. Read: IV months! Oh, forget it.

D.W.: Look how upset you've made Daddy.

Mrs. Read: Okay, you two. I think you both need to cool down a little. Up to your rooms!

D.W.: Can I still go to the petting zoo with the Tibbles later?

Arthur: And I have to go to the Bionic Bunny Arcade. It just opened.

Mrs. Read: We'll just have to wait and see.

---

D.W.: Arthur, what are you policeman doing in your room?!

Arthur: My room, it is yours--

Policeman: ?

D.W.: ?

Arthur: ?

---

Mrs. Read: Your father and I have come to a decision. Arthur, you can go to the arcade, and D.W., you can go to the petting zoo.

Mr. Read: If, and only if we can resolve this problem.

Mrs. Read: We want to hear what happened from both of you. If you want, you can draw pictures to help explain it, okay?

Mr. Read: And we are not going to interrupt each other. Now, who wants to go first?

Arthur & D.W.: Me!

Arthur: Let's arm wrestle to decide!

D.W.: No way! Your arm's bigger!

Mrs. Read: D.W., how do you think we should decide who goes first?

D.W.: We should flip a coin.

Arthur: Heads!

D.W.: Tails!

Mr. Read: Heads.

D.W.: I was going to say heads. Can we flip another coin to see who gets to say heads first?

Mrs. Read: No, dear. Arthur, you go first.

Arthur: I'll tell you exactly what happened. I was in the den sitting on the couch.

D.W.: Liar! You were in the chair!

Mrs. Read: D.W., your turn is coming.

Arthur: Anyway, I was just minding my own business, doing my homework, when D.W. came barging in wanting to play.

Drawn D.W.: Play with me now!

Drawn Arthur: I can't, D.W. I have to finish my homework.

Arthur: So she started bothering Pal. She was throwing his bacon toy all wrong. So I had to show her the right way to do it.

Drawn Arthur: Like this.

Arthur: Then I threw it to her, but she missed it because she wasn't paying attention.

Drawn D.W.: I got it! I got it!

Drawn Arthur: D.W., wait!

Arthur: I tried to tell her to watch out for Dad's souffle, but I didn't get there in time.

Drawn D.W.: Arthur did it!

Arthur: And that's just the way it happened. So you see? It was all her fault. The end.

D.W.: Boy, I'm surprised we're not all asleep. That's usually what happens when people listen to fairy tales!

Mrs. Read: Okay, D.W., now you can tell us what happened.

D.W.: But what if you'll believe Arthur's story because he draws better?

Mrs. Read: You don't have to draw it.

Arthur: The arcade will be closed by the time she's ready.

D.W.: Sorry it took so long. I had trouble finding the right doll for Arthur. All right, everyone. Get ready for the real story. First of all, I didn't wanna play with Arthur. He always thinks I'm dying to play with him, like he's the most fun brother in the world!

Mr. Read: Um, honey, maybe we could just skip to the...

Mrs. Read: Uh-uh, David. No interrupting.

D.W.: Anyway, I did want to ask Arthur a question.

Princess D.W.: Dearest brother, what is the time?

Troll Arthur: Quit bothering me! I'm pretending to do my homework!

Princess D.W.: Ooh.

D.W.: Then Pal picked up the bacon toy 'cause he wanted to play with me.

Arthur: That doesn't look a thing like Pal and it's a female!

Mrs. Read: Arthur!

Arthur: Okay, okay!

D.W.: Everything was going okay until Arthur butted in and threw the toy really hard.

Princess D.W.: Ahh...

D.W.: I ran into the kitchen to get it because I knew we shouldn't play near Daddy's "sloofay", but Arthur pushed me into the table and that's what made the "sloofay" fall. That's what really happened.

Arthur: Liar!

D.W.: You're the liar!

Mrs. Read: D.W., did you actually see the souffle fall?

D.W.: No.

Mr. Read: But you were both in the kitchen when it happened.

Mrs. Read: I see that neither of you are wearing shoes. The kitchen floor is pretty slippery in just socks.

Arthur: I was running kind of fast.

D.W.: So was I. It all happened so fast. I guess I could have slipped into the table.

Arthur: It's possible I slid into D.W. Maybe we both kind of made the souffle fall.

Mrs. Read: Now, isn't there something we can do for Dad? Pal already cleaned up the mess.

Arthur & D.W.: We're really, really sorry.

Arthur: I've got just enough time to get to the arcade.

D.W.: I hope the Tibbles haven't left yet.

Season 6 (2001)

For Whom the Bell Tolls [6.8b]

Dark Bunny: Did I hear that correctly? She lost her voice? Hoo-Wee!

Crushed [6.9b]

Arthur: Stop! Cut! No more! You were going to tell them?!

Buster: Well, yeah. It makes a good song.

Season 7 (2002)

April 9th [7.10]

Binky: [reading] What I did was dumb and dangerous. It was also mean to all the Mighty Mountain kids who had been really nice to me. I'm very sorry and I'll never pull the fire alarm when there isn't a fire again, the end.

Mr. Haney: I'm glad you understand the seriousness of this offense, Binky. But I have to admit, I'm still baffled. Why did you do it?

Binky: I dunno...

Mr. Haney: Maybe you should talk to the school counselor about this.

Binky: But I said I was sorry! Can't you just punish me now?

Mr. Haney: Normally, you'd be suspended for something like this. But because of the circumstances, I have something else in mind.

Season 8 (2003)

Vomitrocious! [8.5a]

(In the cafeteria, Mrs. MacGrady opens a window, Mr. Ratburn sprays room freshener and Mr. Morris mops the floor. The kids all sit on one end of the room. Meanwhile, Francine lies in the nurse’s room on a couch with a cold towel on her forehead and with a thermometer in her mouth and pauses for a moment. The nurse takes her temperature.)

Ms. Flynn (Nurse): Okay, your temperature is fine and your pulse is fine. You probably just have the 24-hour bug that's been going around.

Francine: What about food poisoning?

---

Nigel Ratburn: Stop it, all of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Come with me, Miss Frensky. (Mr. Ratburn leads Francine into a metal room and closes a strong metal door behind her.) You'll feel much more at home in here, I think. (He locks the quarantine room door with George.)

Kiss and Tell [8.9b]

D.W.: Arthur, I need your help! What can you tell me about kissing?

Arthur: What? Nothing!

D.W.: C'mon, you must know something about the birds in the trees. Like, how can I get a boy to kiss me?

Arthur: I don't know! Ask mom. I'm doing homework.

D.W.: Oh! You're no help. [finds a book on the ground of two people kissing] Aha! You do to know something about kissing. You have a book all about it.

Arthur: This is the story of Romeo and Juliet, D. W.. It's based on a play by William Shakespeare. We're reading it in school.

D.W.: And? what's it about?

Arthur: [sighs] If I tell you, do you promise to leave me alone? [D. W. nods] Okay. [starts talking fast] There's this boy named Romeo and this girl named Juliet and their parents don't like each other, but they fall in love anyway and plan to run away together, but there's a misunderstanding and it all ends badly. The end.

D.W.: Where's the kissing part?

Big Horns George [8.10a]

Binky: Pitch up! Sorry. Wow! Nice guitar. Can I see?

Bleep! [8.10b]

Arthur: And best of all, the bleep could be used when your mom and dad are going to visit your school and (bleep) (The bleep does not stop.) Huh?! Hey, what's going on?! Stop it! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!

---

Mother: Stop that! You'll break something.

Boy: Whatever.

Mother: That's enough back talk, young man. You can forget about going to that concert tonight.

Boy: What?! You can't do that!

Mother: I can, and I have!

Boy: >BLEEP<

Mother: [gasped then drops the cup and smashed]

---

D.W.: Okay. [deeps breathes] >BLEEP< [Jane, David, Arthur gasps]

---

Mrs. Read: Dora Winifred Read, what did you just say to me?!

D.W.: Uh... Can I have a soda? Tibbles!

Mrs. Read: What are you doing?!

D.W.: I'll get it! Uh, Arthur did it?

Mrs. Read: Well, D.W., you're off the hook this time, because you didn't know what you were saying. But I hope you know now that swear words are not appropriate, especially for 5-year-old children.

D.W.: Why?

Mrs. Read: Because most people are offended by them. It's as simple as that.

D.W.: But why? What do they mean?

Mrs. Read: I guess you could say they mean "I want to hurt your feelings". Good night, D.W.

D.W.: Now, why didn't somebody tell me that in the first place?

Season 9 (2004-05)

A is for Angry [9.7b]

Arthur: And then... then... [he grunts and roars looks like a Shrek, then chokes and walks away and kids gasps]

Francine: What was that?!

Arthur (HOARSE): Will you just get off my back?!

Francine: Why are you angry at us?! We're the ones who've been supporting you.

Muffy: Yeah! There are lots of other average kids we could have picked for this.

Arthur: Well, thanks for your help, but I think it's better if I just do this on my own. [He leaves. Francine and Muffy exchange looks.]

---

Arthur: What are you guys doing?!

Francine: Why do you ask? Because you're angry?

Muffy: Angry!

Arthur: I'm not angry!

Francine: Well, what would you call it?

Binky: Angry.

George: Please don't hurt me!

Arthur: And stop passing these out! I told you yesterday, I don't want any more pep rallies!

Francine: Don't worry, Mr. Hyde, it's not for you!

Arthur: "A is for angry. B is for brains. Pep rally for Brain before the game"? I thought you said he was conceited?!

Muffy: Wow, angry and mean! I think you need to chill out!

Arthur: Why are you doing this? Is it because I asked you guys to leave me alone yesterday?

Francine: If you call what you did asking. Brain may seem conceited, but at least he's nice.

Muffy: We just care about the integrity of checkers.

[Arthur roars angrily looks like a Shrek again and the kids run away]

Binky: Hey, man, I wanna congratulate you. It took me years to get scary. You did it overnight!

Season 10 (2006)

Happy Anniversary [10.1]

Arthur (as Kid Carter): Oh no! The Burlap Brothers have sealed us in. I’ve nuttin’ to do now but sing and bide our time. (singing while playing/strums the guitar) And there we were stuck in a mine
Just a matter of time before we’re cryin' (yodels)

D.W. (as Mistral): [takes his guitar away] Quit your crooning, Kid! We gotta get out of here! We have no food, no water, we could even run out of air! (gasps for breath)

The Squirrels [10.2a]

Jane: Shoo, shoo, out of the house, back to the trees!

Feeling Flush [10.4a]

Francine: (offscreen) 3,600 liters a day? What happens if the number just keeps rising? (It cuts to Francine, singing in the shower.) Not the 10:05 but the midnight train!? (She uses a brush to pound on the shower.)

Catherine: (offscreen) You've done it now, Francine. You just used all the water in Elwood City.

Francine: (She's gasping.) Oh, no! But Muffy's birthday pool party was today. (It cut to Francine outside, running down, panting.)

Binky: Spare any water, sir?

Season 11 (2007)

Francine's Pilfered Paper [11.8a]

Catherine: [offscreen, calls Francine] Hey squirt, come here!

[Francine stands up off of the sofa and walks to her and Catherine's room]

Catherine: I was online and found some stuff you might want to use for your paper.

Francine: Oh thanks, but I finished it already. [looks at the printed article in surprise] Hey, this is my paper!

Catherine: You mean, you already used some of this information?

Francine: I used the whole thing. It was perfect for the topic. So I cut and pasted it into a new document and added a title.

Catherine: [disappointed] Francine, you CAN'T do that!

Francine: Why not?

Catherine: Because that's PLAGIARISM, that's why.

Francine: No, it isn't. It's called finishing your work early, so you can enjoy Thanksgiving. [worried] What's "plagiarism"?

Catherine: [picks up the printed article] It's when you take someone else's work and claim it's your own. It's basically STEALING.

Francine: But I already handed it in. So, you think I can get an "F"?

Catherine: Worse! You could be SUSPENDED.

Francine: Huh?

Oliver: [offscreen, from the kitchen] Kids! Dinner's ready!

Catherine: [whispers] You have to tell Ratburn!

Season 12 (2008-09)

Is That Kosher? [12.1a]

Bubby: What's wrong? You look terrible! Are you sick? I'll go get a thermometer (in her mouth.)

The Frensky Family Fiasco [12.2b]

[The episode starts with the opening theme, except with Francine in place of Arthur.]

Theme Song: "Everyday when you're walking down the street, and everybody that you meet has an original point of view. And I say..."

Jane: [off-screen] Arthur, my opening of the show!

Arthur: Hey, what's going on?! Stop the show! Francine, what are you doing?! (This is my Pal! It's mine!)

Francine: Relax! Everything's under control. START TO MUSIC AGAIN!?

Theme Song: "Everyday when you're walking down the street..."

David: [off-screen; sternly] Arthur?!

Arthur: NO! CUT! STOP! You can't do the opening of the show!

---

Francine: Exactly! That's why I'm proposing the Frensky Family Night. One night a week we'll eat together, talk, and do something fun. How about Tuesdays?

Oliver: Works for me.

Season 18

Staycation [18.6b]

Arthur: Wait! You didn't want them to go on vacation and now you're sad they can't?

D.W.: Yeah. Didn't you see Mom's face? I thought she was goin' to cry. (A thought bubble with Mrs. Read appears.)

Mrs. Read (in bubble): (cries)

(The bubble disappears. A swarm of birds flies past the window.)

Arthur: (D.W., it's not nice to Mom crying. Apologized to Mother.)

D.W.: I guess parents really do need a break sometimes - especially from you.

Arthur: I wonder if there's some way we could fix this?

Season 25

All Grown Up [25.4b]

Adult Arthur: [last lines] "Chapter 1: How I got my very first pair of glasses…" [The series ends]

Specials

Arthur: It's Only Rock and Roll

Francine: What are you doing?! You have to stop listening to this rot. It's destroying your brain!

Muffy: WHAT?!? Are you talking about the Backstreet Boys, the ones who are coming to town in four weeks, six days, and fifty- (looks at watch.) seven minutes?

Francine: Uh-huh. Rot. Maybe they were good once, but now they're just sellouts. (holding a remote to mute the audio.) Look at them!?

---

Francine: That's it!! I hereby dissolve "U Stink"!? (pauses out)

Fern: Are we supposed to melt or something?

Soundtrack

Only the Frensky

?

Mrs. Wha-cha-ma-call-it

?

Featured Cast

• Dallas Jokic - Arthur Read (2008-2012)
• Robert Naylor - D.W. Read
• Daniel Brochu - Buster Baxter
• Lyle O'Donohoe - Alan "The Brain" Powers
• Melissa Altro - Muffy Crosswire
• Jodie Resther - Francine Alice Frensky
• Jessica Kardos - Sue Ellen Armstrong
• Krystal Meadows - Ladonna Compson
• Brigid Tierny - Jenna Morgan
• Bruce Dinsmore - Binky Barnes

External links

• Official Website
• IMDb
• TV.com