Revenge of the Pink Panther

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Revenge of the Pink Panther is a 1978 comedy film in which Chief Inspector Clouseau attempts find out who attempted to assassinate him.

Directed by Blake Edwards. Written by Frank Waldman, Ron Clark, and Blake Edwards.
Inspector Clouseau is back...and he's a bigger fool than anyone gives him the credits for.taglines

Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau

  • Special delivery: a beumb. Were you expecting one? A BEUMB!? AAAAAHAHOWWWWWW!!!
  • I am not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill transvestite!
  • Ohhhh...Sixteen chests on a dead man's rum/Yo-ho-ho in the bottle of the chest/Drink to the devils and done for the rums/Hoooooooooooooooo!

Philippe Douvier

  • The Great Inspector Clouseau will not be bothering us anymore.



Sgt. François Chevalier: Why don't you get out of those wet clothes? You could catch pneumonia.
Clouseau: Yes, I know that. I know that. I will do as soon as I get home, provided that idiot Cato does not attack me first.
Sgt. François Chevalier: Why don't you just tell him not to?
Clouseau: Believe me, it's not that easy. I have given him instructions to attack me wherever and whenever possible, and it has now become a matter of pride with him to try to outsmart me. I guarantee that at this very minute, his fiendish little yellow brain is plotting some new ambush.

Simone Le Gree: That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
Philippe Douvier: Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
Cato: It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
Clouseau: That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.

Police Commissioner: The Chief thinks that you should give the eulogy.
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: The what?
Police Commissioner: The tribute!
Chief Inspector Dreyfus: Me?
Police Commissioner: You knew him intimately.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I hated him intimately!
Police Commissioner: But you're the expert who's going to track down his murderers!
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I'm the expert who would dearly love to–– to kiss his murderers, don't you understand?!
Police Commissioner: Now, the PR people loved the angle.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Sacrilege! I won't do it.
Police Commissioner: Politics!
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: No. I'm a good Catholic.
Police Commissioner: So's the Chief's wife.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I don't care! [Hesitates] What's she got to do with it?
Police Commissioner: She wrote the speech.


Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Ladies and gentlemen… honored guests… dear friends… we are gathered here to say… good-bye… to a… a great man. [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]. Not only was he a model police officer… a brilliant detective… [coughs] admired and respected… by his fellow officers… and all those who were fortunate enough;–– enough;–– enough to know him… [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]… he was, above all else… a modest man! [suppresses a laugh; feigns tears]. His kind, will not pass this way again… and our loss… is surely… Heaven's gain! [breaks down in tears of laughter].

Clouseau: But these aren't normal times. Cato. Someone just tried to kill me.
Cato: That's normal.
Clouseau: Ah, but this time, he thinks he had succeeded.

Clouseau: Now, this time I'm going to stand on your shoulders!
Cato: What good will that do?
Clouseau: Because I'm taller than you are, you fool!

Clouseau: Who were those two men have tried to kill you last night?
Simone Legree: Killers.

Simone Le Gree: Now why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
Clouseau: Elementary. He wanted you dead.

Clouseau: You keep talking about this Douvier.
Simone Legree: Mm-hmm.
Clouseau: But Philippe, who is... who is-who is Philippe?
Simone Legree: Philippe Douvier.
Clouseau: His son?
Simone Legree: Whose son?
Clouseau: Douvier.
Simone Legree: He has no son.
Clouseau: His brother, then?
Simone Legree: His brother's name is Fred.
Clouseau: Then it has to be his father.
Simone Legree: His father's dead.
Clouseau: Ah! Now we're getting somewhere. Then who killed him?
Simone Legree: No one. He died of natural causes.
Clouseau: Then who is this Philippe?

Clouseau: Now I see why this building seems so familiar: Chief Inspector Dreyfus lives here! Wake up, Chief Inspector! No good. We must go to Hong Kong without him.
Simone Le Gree: What do you mean, We? I can't go to Hong Kong; Douvier would shoot me on sight!
Clouseau: Not if he doesn't recognize you.

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Doctor, please, you must help me. Is Clouseau real, or am I going mad again?
Dr. Paul Laprone: What do you think?
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: What do I think? What can I think? If that nincompoop is really alive and the things I heard are true, he'll probably be decorated again for rounding up the biggest drug ring in France, and I'll be a-a laughingstock.
Dr. Paul Laprone: That sounds reasonable. What are you going to do?
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: What choice do I have? I either commit myself and come back to be locked up in here...Or... I go to Hong Kong.

Clouseau: [Dreyfus shoots at Clouseau] It's me!
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: I know!
[Dreyfus laughs and starts shooting again]

Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Clouseau?
Clouseau: Yes?
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: Are you wounded?
Clouseau: No. Fortunately I was saved by the darkness.
Chief Insp. Dreyfus: So what we need is more light.

Simone Legree: Hello, Phillippe.
Philippe Douvier: Simone! What're you doing here?
Simone Legree: O, nothing; just waiting for the fireworks to go off.
Philippe Douvier: What fireworks?
Simone Legree: The ones I just stuck into your pants!




  • Inspector Clouseau is back...and he's a bigger fool than anyone gives him the credits for.
  • Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the movies...
  • Montezuma got his revenge. Now it's the Pink Panther's turn!
Wikipedia has an article about:
The Pink Panther
  Films     Peter Sellers     The Pink Panther  (1963) · A Shot in the Dark  (1964) · The Return of the Pink Panther  (1975) · The Pink Panther Strikes Again  (1976) · Revenge of the Pink  
 (1978) · Trail of the Pink Panther  (1982)  
  Alan Arkin     Inspector Clouseau  (1968)  
  Roger Moore     Curse of the Pink Panther  (1983)  
  Roberto Benigni as Clouseau's son     Son of the Pink Panther  (1993)  
  Steve Martin     The Pink Panther  (2006) · The Pink Panther 2  (2009)  
  Animated shorts     The original Pink Panther shorts  (1964–1980) · The original Inspector shorts  (1965–1969) · Driving Mr. Pink  (1995)  
  Television     Animated shows     The Pink Panther Show  (1969–1980) · Pink Panther and Sons  (1984–1985) · The Pink Panther  (1993–1996) · Pink Panther and Pals  (2010)  
  Animated specials     A Pink Christmas  (1978) · Olym-Pinks  (1980) · Pink at First Sight  (1981) · A Very Pink Christmas  (2011)  
  Video games     Passport to Peril  (1996) · Hokus Pokus Pink  (1998)