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  • He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven.  :Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
  • Gentlemen, you may smoke.
[ending the long ban on smoking held by Queen Victoria in the early 20th Century]
King Edward VII
  • I'll smoke anything anybody gives me, I'm not particular.
Peter Falk
  • [Tobacco] is the passion of honest men and he who lives without tobacco is not worthy of living.
Moliere (Jean Baptiste Poquelin).
  • If smoking is not allowed in heaven, I shall not go.
Mark Twain
  • It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
Mark Twain
  • It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.
Mark Twain
  • I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.
Bill Hicks
  • Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
Florence King
  • Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
  • Looking back now, I have come to realize that she was my nicotine.
Tipper Boharic
  • My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whisky.
William Faulkner
  • Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries.
Luis Buñuel
  • The only way to break a bad habit was to replace it with a better habit.
Jack Nicholson, explaining why he switched from cigarettes to cigars.
  • Nobody has died because of not smoking, but why take a chance?
Satish Chothani
  • Non-smokers...die every day. Sleep tight!
Bill Hicks

  • Anti :
  • My smoking might be bothering you, but it's killing me.
    • Variation People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!
Wendy Liebman
  • Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
Steve Allen
  • When I heard smoking will kill you I bought shares in Marlboro and Dunhill.
Thomas Geraghty
  • A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
  • Ah, if only I had brought a cigar with me! This would have established my identity.
Charles Dickens
  • Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
Mark Twain
  • Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.
Groucho Marx
  • I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form.
Winston Churchill
  • I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
  • Variation: I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
  • I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
  • If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.
George Burns
  • If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.
98 year old George Burns
  • Cigars are like new life in a twisted world
James Francesco
  • Of course, I started as a collector. A true collector. I can remember as if it were only yesterday the heart- pounding excitement as I spread out upon the floor of my bedroom The Edward G. Robinson Collection of Rare Cigar Bands. I didn't play at collecting. No cigar anywhere was safe from me.
Edward G. Robinson
  • Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sigmund Freud
  • There are men here and there to whom the whole of life is like an after-dinner hour with a cigar; easy, pleasant, empty, perhaps enlivened by some fable of strife to be forgotten - before the end is told - even if there happens to be any end to it.
Joseph Conrad
  • There is nothing more agreeable than having a place where one can throw on the floor as many cigar butts as one pleases without the subconscious fear of a maid who is waiting like a sentinel to place an ashtray where the ashes are going to fall.
Fidel Castro
  • What this country needs is a good five-cent cigar!
Thomas Marshall, Vice-president of Woodrow Wilson

  • Cigar smoking is a hobby, not a habit.
Art Fuente
  • A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?  :Oscar Wilde
  • A cigarette is the only consumer product which when used as directed kills its consumer.
Dr. Gro Harlem Brundtland
  • For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
Jay Leno
  • I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself.
Barbara Kelly
  • To some, the cigarette is a portable therapist.
Terri Guillemets
  • The only "safer" cigarette is your last one.
Duane Alan Hahn
  • There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.
Harold Robbins
  • I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs.
Albert Einstein
  • If you can't send money, send tobacco.
George Washington to the Continental Congress, 1776.
  • Man, the creature who knows he must die, who has dreams larger than his destiny, who is forever working a confidence trick on himself, needs an ally. Mine has been tobacco.
John Boynton Priestley
  • Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.
Bill Vaughan
  • The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.
Ralph Waldo Emerson