The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius/Season 1

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Seasons: 1 2 3 | Main

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius is a show that ran on Nickelodeon from 2002–2006. The show follows the life of genius kid Jimmy Neutron and his friends and family. It is also based on the 2001 CGI film Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.

When Pants Attack[edit]

Judy: James Issac Neutron! How many times have I told you to pick up your pants?!
Jimmy: Well, I know just the dog who can answer that, mom. [Snaps fingers, Goddard comes out] Goddard, access maternal reprehend data, cross reference: pants.
[Goddard begins replaying the times Judy asked Jimmy to pick up his pants.]
Judy: [onscreen] Jimmy! Pick up your pants, please? -- Uh, Jimmy? Pick up your pants. -- Pick up your pants. -- Pants. -- Jimmy! -- Jimmy? -- Jimmy? -- Pick 'em up. -- Jimmy! -- Pick up… -- Pick up… -- Jimmy? -- …Your pants!
[Screen says "54 times to date"]
Judy: I rest my case. Okay, no more Mrs-Nice-Mom.

[Cindy presents her report with Jimmy unintentionally joining in.]
Cindy: Origami: the ancient art of Japanese paper folding. I will be making the most difficult of all origami structures; a snow monkey.
Jimmy: Actually, paper folding originated in China --
Cindy: Riding a flying dragon --
Jimmy: In the second century A.D. --
Cindy: While drinking tea --
Jimmy: And was brought to Japan --
Cindy: On a ladder --
Jimmy: In the sixth century --
Cindy: IN DECEMBER!
Ms. Fowl: Cindy, I didn't know you and Jimmy were doing this report together.
Cindy: We're not!

Normal Boy[edit]

Cindy: Neutron, why don't you just go to college and leave us all alone.
[The students chatter in agreement as Principal Willoughby walks in the classroom]
Principal Willoughby: Good news, everyone, Jimmy Neutron's state test scores were the highest in world history. [Jimmy cowers nervously as everyone glares at him as the bell for recess rings] Okay, time for recess. [shouts] No one go near Jimmy's head! [softly] That's precious cargo.
Jimmy: I liked your project, Libby.
Libby: Ah! [holds up a skeleton skull to Jimmy's face] Talk to the skull.

Sheen: [after Jimmy attempts to use a Brain Drain helmet on himself] Wow, look at him. He looks so... so similar.
Carl: Aw, don't worry, Jimmy. There's always next time.
Jimmy: [notices the shine on his inventions, speaking in a derpy-like voice] Shiny? Shiny! I like shiny!
Carl and Sheen: It worked!
Jimmy: Hey, have you guys seen my loopy dance? [singing] I'm loopy, I'm loopy, I'm loopy, loopy, loopy…
Carl: You know, this new Jimmy seems kinda stupid.
Sheen: Yeah, he's really messed up. [beat] I like him!
Carl: Me too!
Sheen: Can we keep him?

Ms. Fowl: Okay, who can tell me the square root of 144? Bwaaak!
Jimmy: [raises hand] I know! Eleventy-six!
Ms. Fowl: Well, no, I'm sorry. [squawks] That's wrong. [Cindy raises her hand] Cindy?
Cindy: 12.
Miss Fowl: No! [crying] It's 18!

Birth of a Salesman[edit]

[Jimmy is outside school, along with Carl, Sheen, Libby & Cindy.]
Jimmy: Ladies and gentlemen... and Cindy, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!
Carl: A llama?
Jimmy: No.
Carl: A baby llama?
Jimmy: [scoffs] No!
Carl: A baby llama with a little hat on?
Jimmy: [angerier] NO!
Cindy: An invention of yours that actually works? [She and Libby laugh.]
Jimmy: NO!!.. I mean...yes! I present to you... my latest neutronic invention ... [Presents three pieces of miniature books] Book Gum. Why read a book when you can just chew the book instead?
Sheen: Wow, Jimmy, chewing a book.
Jimmy: Sheen, you don't actually chew a book. See, I reduced the contents of different books to gum form. You chew it, and you know it.
[He gives some gum to Sheen, who chews it.]
Sheen: Tastes... fishy. [starts quoting from Moby-Dick] "Call me Ishmael. Starbuck, it's the great white whale! I'll get you, Moby Dick!"
Cindy: Give me a piece of that. [Takes a piece and chews] Hmm... It tastes like fried chicken. [starts quoting from Gone with the Wind] "Oh, Ashley, Oh, Rhett. I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies."
[Carl is about to taste a handful of gum pieces.]
Jimmy: Careful, Carl. It would be very dangerous to eat more than one at a time.
[Carl selects a piece.]
Carl: Mmm... William Shakespeare.
Jimmy: That might just be a little strong for you, Carl.
Carl: [quotes Romeo's monologue from Romeo and Juliet, during which Cindy rolls her eyes in amazement] "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the sun. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek."

Jimmy: I have miscalculated its not about superior intellect is all about manipulating emotions with shallow unscrupulous behavior. Goddard, options! "Take tap dancing lessons." Jimmy Neutron doesn't dance, Goddard. "Go back in time and tell Cindy you will lose the contest." Goddard, whose kind of side are you on?! "Build a better salesman." Yeah. If I can't be a better salesman, I'll create a better salesman! [Jimmy's lab; he has invented a robot salesman] The Willy Loman 3000-- a super-selling machine programmed to make the sale at any cost. He will not take "no" for an answer.

Jimmy: It's the good life, gentlemen. While the W.L. 3000 does all the work, we're here enjoying a tall cold one.
Sheen: And plan our VIP trip to Retroland.
Carl: HUZZAH!
Sheen: What?
Carl: "Huzzah" some goofy way to say "COOL!"!
Man: What?!?
Willy: Goo-ood afternoon, sir. May I say you look absolutely f-f-fabulous? Ha-ha-ha, yes, I agree it is beautiful out, heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...
Man: I don't want to buy nothin'.
Willy: "Buy"? Who said "buy"? I-I-I'd like to give you a piece of c-candy, absolutely free with no strings attached.
Man: Forget it.
Willy: You can never have enough ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-andy, sir.
Man: I can. And I DO! Good-bye.
[The man almost closes the door, but Willy blocks it.]
Willy: Y-yes, y-y-y-yes, this is a "g-good buy".
Man: [struggling to close the door] What part of "NO!" do you not understand?
Willy: [holds up Goddard] How about if I throw in this free-ee-ee-ee dog if you buy a box?
Man: Hmm... what kind of dog is he?
Willy: He's your kind of dog. C-congratulations.
[Willy gives Goddard to the man, takes his money and slams the door]
Man: [from inside the house] Hey, what does he ea-? Wha-? Wha-? Oh! OH! Not on the carpet, yo-! Ooh... Are those lug nuts?

Brobot[edit]

Jimmy: Mom, Dad, I have an announcement.
Judy: Ooh, tell me now if this involves any principals, policemen, or government people.
Jimmy: Nope. Not this time.
Hugh and Judy: Oh, good.
Jimmy: Goddard? [Goddard opens up a projection PowerPoint presentation with his mouth] As you know, research tells us the nuclear family of two or more progeny produces a higher happiness quotient than does a solo child family.
Hugh: Who wants to see the salt and pepper dance?
Jimmy: Oh, maybe I'll just cut to the chase. Mom, Dad, I want a little brother.
[Hugh spits out his drink after hearing this]
Judy: [surprised] Jimmy!
Hugh: Jimbo! Baby making is very…complicated, believe me…
Jimmy: Dad, Dad, it's not complicated, really. It's basically conception, right…?
Hugh: [covers his ears] ♪ La-la-la-la ♪
Judy: Hugh, Hugh! [to Jimmy] Sweetie, a new baby just isn't in the cards right now.
Jimmy: But, Mom, if the glandular timeline closes…
Hugh: That's enough. Okay, I want pie. Anyone else want pie? I want pie.

Jimmy: Well, if the parental units won't provide me with a sibling, I'll just have to take matters into my own hands.

Jimmy: Brobot! What have I done?!
Brobot: WOW! That was amazing! Talk about tickling. Glad you made me 100% indestructible.

Jimmy: Brobot, I'd like to introduce you to your Mombot and your Popbot. I'm sure you'll be very happy together.
Brobot: [gasps in surprise] Cool! Thanks, Jimmy. You're the best. [holds hands with his robot parents as they fly off to the moon in space]
Judy: Bye, Brobot. We'll miss you. Don't forget to write.

The Big Pinch[edit]

Jimmy: [sarcastic] Oh, I forgot about the ever popular mud-powered radio.
Cindy: And I forgot about your mud-powered brain!
Thomas Edison: Woo! That hovercar's a piece of work!
Jimmy: Thank you, Mr. Edison. You know, I achieved the upward thrust using strautium nitium-crusted fuel rods and titanium valuves.
Thomas Edison: Are you done? It's not that great, okay?

Jimmy: Make with the option. "Convince town that electricity's overrated." No. "Change name and flee country." Possibly. "Break up Edison and Ms. Fowl." That's it! If I can break them up, Edison won't have any reason to stay here.

Jimmy: [mimicking Edison] Hey, you mangy canine, get away from there. [Goddard barks; normal voice] Fooled you. It's just me, Goddard. See, I installed a voice transformer inside this walkie-talkie. Observe. [mimicking Edison] Whip-diddly-doo, everybody. Pretty good, huh? Now open wide, boy. [Goddard whines] Aw, Goddard, this is going to help me break up Edison and Ms. Fowl. Now, come on pretend it's a nice, crunchy lug nut. [Goddard eats the speaker and belches] Good boy. Good boy. Now here's the plan…

Granny Baby[edit]

Hugh: All right, Jimbo, now listen. We're going to be staying at the Wild Animal Land in Dead Zebra Carcass suite. Don't tell your mother. It's gonna be a big surprise.
Judy: Oh, and Jimmy, Granny Neutron's coming over while we're gone.
Jimmy: Aw, Mom. Don't you remember my theorem proving mathematically, I don't need anyone to watch me?
Hugh: No, Jim-jam, she's not watching you, you're watching her.
Judy: Besides, you can keep each other company. Now, remember, we're counting on you to watch out for her.
Hugh: Oh, and don't conduct anymore experiments on her, Jimbo.
Judy: At her age, the last thing you want is excitement.
[A taxi screeches to a stop in front of the Neutron residence with Granny driving]
Granny: Told you I could get here from the airport in under fifty cents. [laughs]
Hugh: Mom!
Judy: Oh, Mother Neutron.
Jimmy: Hi, Granny.
Granny: Jimmy, you tote my clothes. Hugh…you carry my pills, syrups, salves serums, girdles, ointments, medical devices, and miscellaneous supports.

[Jimmy's lab; Jimmy and Goddard watch Granny on the computer monitor, talking to a Jimmy dummy standee]
Jimmy: Age is a cruel, cruel thing, Goddard. In a short 65 years, you completely lose your ability to tell when people want you to stop talking.
Granny: [on monitor] And forget Preparation H. I've made it all the way to Preparation X. [laughs]
Jimmy: [realizing] Wait a second. If I made her young again, I'd bet she'd stop complaining. But I promised Mom and Dad I wouldn't experiment on Granny…especially after that time I made her magnetic. [chuckles]

Jimmy: [takes out the flask] She's awfully old. I hope this is enough.
[Living room; Granny sits across from the Jimmy Dummy, trying to open a lid of a small bottle, as the real Jimmy enters with the Tonic behind his back]
Granny: Good morning. [points to the dummy standee] I was just telling you over there about my deviated spatchum. On cold mornings it rattles like the Tin Man throwing up a hoagie full of wood screws.
Jimmy: What's in the bottle?
Granny: Tongue De-Furrer. Your tongue gets furry when you're old. Sometimes I wake up it has chewing on it.
Jimmy: Let me open that for you. [takes the bottle and pours the tonic in the bottle, and turns back to Granny] I think you'll feel much better and quieter after you drink this.
Granny: [Drinks it and smacks her lips distastefully] Tastes funny. Of course, what do I know – after sixty your sense of taste completely disapp- [the medicine then ends up transforming her into a baby]
Jimmy: Granny?!
Granny Baby: Goo-goo-ga-gee.
Jimmy: Uh-oh. Granny?
Granny Baby: I feel great! Did I just take my morphine?
Jimmy: Uh… No, Granny. Well, you're… You're sort of, uh… baby.
Granny Baby: [as Goddard holds up a mirror, looking at her reflection] Holy fiber caps, I'm topless!
Jimmy: Oh, man, this isn't good. Where'd you get the diaper?
Granny Baby: I was already wearing it. [breaks wind in her diaper] Ooh… I need my diadey changed!
Jimmy: Problem. Goddard, change diaper.
[Goddard hacks in disgust]
Granny Baby: Change me, NOW!
Jimmy: Who can change a diaper? [Goddard displays "A Nurse" on his screen] I don't know any nurses. [Goddard's screen then displays "Your Mother"] No way. I love and respect Mom far too much to let her know, I, disobeyed her. [Goddard's screen displays "Cindy"; looks out the window, seeing Cindy across the street running a garage sale in the driveway with Libby] Uh-uh, no way! I will never ever ask Cindy for a favor!
Granny Baby: [breaks wind in her diaper again] Clean my poopy!
Jimmy: Okay, let's go ask Cindy for a favor. Shall we?

Sheen: Do you have any other Ultra Lord collectibles?
Cindy: No. Pay and leave.
Sheen: Any Ultra Lord videos?
Cindy: No.
Sheen: DVDs?
Cindy: No.
Sheen: CD-ROMs?
Cindy: No.
Sheen: TV episodes…
Cindy: NO!
Sheen: What about the discolored pajamas you get at the swap meet?
Cindy: NO! Do I look like the kind of pathetic self-diluted dweeb case who'd have anything about Ultra Lord?!
Sheen: No. You look more like a regular kind of pathetic self-diluted dweeb case.

[Jimmy picks up bottles of DANGEROUS CHEMICALS (labeled as such); Cindy looks at a shelf, carrying Granny, who holds a rattle]
Granny Baby: I'm bored! Make a funny face and let me hit you with a rattle.
Cindy: No.[Granny Baby cries.] Okay, okay! [Cindy does a funny face and Granny Baby hits her in a face with her rattle.]
Granny Baby: It's fun hitting you. Ha ha ha ha!
Jimmy: [whispering] Granny Granny quiet.
Guy: Did that baby just talk?
Jimmy: No. Ha ha, why? Everyone know babies can't talk.
Granny Baby: [To People] That's right. 'Cos if we could the Videotubbies’d became the subway, it’d make their head aerials spin. Ha ha ha ha!
[The people gasp. Jimmy and Cindy running from the clamoring mob.]

Cindy: [gives Jimmy the antidote in a baby bottle] Here. Anything else you'd like? Your slippers in a pipe maybe?
[Jimmy feeds Granny Baby the antidote in a baby bottle, reverting her back to her old self as Jimmy's parents arrive in the nick of time]
Judy: Hello, honey. How was everything?
Jimmy: Oh, hi, Mom! Nothing unusual here, just me and Granny obeying all your rules. Yes, ma'am, that's what we're doing.

Cindy: Well, I'd love to stay and help you narrowly avoid even more consequences of your stupid actions but it looks like Libby and I have a date with some enchilada burritos.
Jimmy: It's nice to have you back, Granny.
Granny: So nice to be back, Jimmy. [chuckles]
Carl: Hey, Jim, I'm really thirsty. Does your mom have any lemonade?
Granny: [gives Carl the antidote baby bottle] Drink this!
Jimmy: NO! [Carl drinks the antidote, turning himself into an old man] Carl? You okay?
Old Carl: Well, my eyes hurt, my hair is gone, and I have powerful urge to dance badly.
Granny: I'll take a piece of that.

Time Is Money[edit]

Sheen: I like the part about the medulla oblongata. I don't know what it means, but I love the way it sounds! [waves his UltraLord action figure at Carl] Back or I will slay thee you with my medulla oblongata!

Jimmy: [after watching the commercial of the Encyclopedia of Infinite Knowledge] Wow! Did you guys see that?! There's never been an encyclopedia like that ever! I gotta have it.
Sheen: That's so crazy, because I so don't want it.
Jimmy: Sorry, guys. I gotta go talk to my mom, right now.

Jimmy: Ugh, gee, Goddard. It's not fair. Wish I could go back in time and convince him to invest in… [gets an idea] That's it. If we go back in time, I can convince Dad to invest in McSpanky's, and then, we'll have all the money we'll ever need!

Judy: [about Sheen & Carl] And what are they doing here? The big one is odd and the thin one is a weirdo.
Carl: Hey, you can't insult us like that!
Hugh: [tosses Carl and Sheen a gold brick] Here you go, get yourself something nice.
Sheen: Sure they can! [turns to Carl] Let's go, odd guy!
Carl: [snorts] You got it, weirdo!

Raise the Oozy Scab[edit]

Jimmy: Two centuries ago, a pirate ship named, the Oozy Scab, hit a squall and sunk to the bottom of Retroville Bay with a mysterious treasure chest. No sub could ever get deep enough to retrieve it until today. I'm finding that treasure.
Cindy: Listen, Neutron. I'm not any happier about being lab partners than you are so let's just classify some seashells and get it over with.
Jimmy: Darn it all, Cindy! I wish I could join you in your fascinating seashell project, but I've already planned a dangerous search for a shipwreck in my extremely cramped submarine.
Cindy: Okay, I'm in.

Cindy: What kind of dunderhead would want to talk to a bunch of stupid fish?
Carl: I wanna talk to fish! I wanna talk to fish!! [snatches the microphone out of Jimmy's hand and sees a fish] Oh, hey there, little fella! Do you like Fish Snack 'Ems? They're made from fish like you, only chopped up into little bite sized pieces and deep fried in burning oil! [the fish screams and swims away]

Cindy: [about Jimmy] Throw him in the brig!
Jimmy: It'll take a lot more than ravenous hunger to turn my men against me! [puts fists on hips and stands proudly] Tell her, boys!
Sheen: I'll get some rope!
Carl: I'll hold him down!

Jimmy: Don't worry. Despite your muteness behavior, you'll all still get a cut of the treasure.
[At school, Miss Fowl's classroom; the treasure chest is filled with pieces of saltwater taffy]
Miss Fowl: This is the most delicious saltwater taffy I've ever tasted, children. Your project get an A-plus!
Cindy: You know, Jimmy, I hear each one of these pieces of taffy is worth over three cents.
Jimmy: I don't wanna talk about it.

I Dream of Jimmy[edit]

Jimmy: Carl, you're asleep. This is a dream.
Carl: Don't be silly. If this was a dream, could I do… [pulls a brain out from his head] this?
Jimmy: That's the only time you can do it! Carl, you're asleep, there are llamas in the classroom! Libby rowed to school with a plastic leg!!
Carl: Her paddle broke.

Jimmy: [observing Carl's genius state in his dream] When Carl's asleep, he dreams he's a genius like me.
Cindy: Like you? Please, you can't even spell your own name!
[Jimmy looks down at his school desk, seeing apparently botched attempts at spelling "Jimmy"]
Carl: Now I need a dummy who will volunteer.
[Everyone points at Jimmy]
Jimmy: But I'm not dumb. I'm a genius!
[Everyone laughs]
Cindy: [giggling] If you're so smart, what's the square root of a flexnart?
Jimmy: That doesn't make any sense!
Carl: The square root of a flexnart is a cupful of boogers.
Libby: [dreamily] He did that all in his head!

Carl: [waking up] Oh, wow, I had the craziest dream.
Jimmy: [panting] I know, I was there. You almost got me killed by a legume! [sees the Lima bean creeping up behind Sheen] Sheen, don't move. There's a giant man-eating lima bean behind you.
Sheen: Ha! You guys. I haven't believed in that since I was, like, seven.

Jimmy: Uh, hey, Carl, you won't tell anyone about that awful, desperate thing I had to do to wake you up, will ya?
Carl: Of course not, Jimmy.
Cindy: [shows up angrily and walks to Jimmy] Not even in his dreams, Neutron! [slaps Jimmy in the face as he spins and falls on his back, and she leaves, disgusted]

Jimmy On Ice[edit]

Hugh: [after he and his posse mistake Jimmy and Godard in the distance for a caribou] There's gonna be caribou chili tonight boys.
All Three Men: [chanting] Ugh lugh lugh yeah! Ugh lugh lugh yeah! Ooooooooooh….. CARIBOU!

Hugh: Don't waste your time, sport. All the pipes are frozen solid.
Judy: [to Jimmy] Sweetie, eat your caribou before it gets hard and icy.

Battle of the Band[edit]

Sheen: Hey! Hey! What is this? I specifically requested dolphin-safe donuts! I refuse to perform until all of my ridiculous demands are satisfied!

[While Jimmy, Carl & Sheen are fighting with each other.]
Jimmy: Wait a minute. Sheen, Carl! What are we doing?
Sheen: Well, I was about to strangle Carl.
Carl: Yeah, and I was about to slap Sheen on the back of the head.

See Jimmy Run[edit]

Miss Fowl: [after Jimmy invisibly steals her sandwich] Well I….Who took my sandwich? [spots a squirrel] So that's your game, is it? well, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-For-Acorns, how'd you like a nice detention?

Jimmy: [laughs manically] Invisible Boy strikes! This may be my greatest invention ever! Think what I can do! Think what I shouldn't do, but will do. Think… [realizes he can't stop running] wait a minute. Something's wrong. I can't stop! Oh, no! Mom was right! The combustion cycle is accelerating out of control! Can't… get my shoes… off! Must… [grunts as he tries to take his shoes off]

Jimmy: Can't just keep running around and around forever. Wait a minute, "running around!" That's it! If I could spin around fast enough, my mass will become less dense, and in theory, I could slip right out of my shoes. Or…I could end up a gelatinous mess splattered all over the ground. [gulps] I really hope it's the first one.

Cindy: [burying her face in her hands in embarrassment] I have never been so embarrassed in all my life, and in front of Nick.
Libby: Cheer up, girl. With your grades, you can transfer to any school in town.
Cindy: I just know Neutron's behind this. When I see him…
Sheen: We just saw a ghost!
Carl: Yeah! And it has Jimmy!
Cindy: Good, it can keep him.
Sheen: Boy, you really have some anger issues don't you?
[Jimmy's screams are heard and he lands on the ground with a splat as a glowing purple goo blob]
Jimmy: [coughs] Hi, guys. I'm back. And by the way, that wasn't a ghost. It was me! But once again, I've solved everything.
Cindy, Libby, Sheen, & Carl: [disgusted] Ew…!
Cindy: I thought Nerdtron was hard to look at before but this is disgusting!
Sheen: Yeah, Jimmy, you're totally gross… yet somehow cool. But completely nasty! Yet strangely awesome.
Jimmy: What are you guys talking about? [looks down at himself, seeing his molecules haven't re-assimilated yet] Oh, my molecules haven't re-assimilated.
Carl: Hey, look… [pokes him as he chuckles] He's fun to poke.
Jimmy: Stop it, Carl!

Trading Faces[edit]

[Lindbergh Elementary School; Jimmy and Cindy are walking down the hallway]
Jimmy/Cindy: My ankles are freezing. Why don't girls just buy pants that cover their legs?
Cindy/Jimmy: Stop dragging my feet, those are new shoes! Look, if we just act like each other, nobody will ever know.

Cindy/Jimmy: Oh. So it's war, is it? Fine! [as Jimmy] Look at me, everybody! I, Jimmy Neutron, am a blue-faced, cross-eyed nosepicker!
Jimmy/Cindy: [as Cindy] Do you think I spent enough hours on my hair this morning? Hey, everybody, look at my ankles! When'll I ever get a pair of pants the right length? [laughs] Who knows?
Jimmy/Cindy: Oh, yeah? Listen to this.
Cindy/Jimmy: Don't you dare.
Jimmy/Cindy: [makes an armpit flatulence; as Cindy] How very lady-like of me.

Ms. Fowl: [enters the classroom with pop quiz papers] Quiet, children. Pop quiz!
[The class groans in frustration]
Cindy/Jimmy: I hope you enjoyed your straight A's, Neutron, 'cause they're a thing of the past. [begins quiz] "The ant is a member of the vegetable family."
Jimmy/Cindy: [working on quiz] "Name the planets: Farkle… Gub-Gub…"
[Later after class…]
Ms. Fowl: I would like an explanation for these two disgraceful papers.
Cindy/Jimmy: [as Jimmy] There is a simple explanation, Ms. Fowl. I, Jimmy Neutron, am a complete gabble headed dipstick!
Jimmy/Cindy: But not as big a dipstick as you are, Ms. Fowl! And if I don't get a month's worth of detention for that, you are even dumber than you look!
Cindy/Jimmy: How many detentions is this worth, "Ms. Fowl-breath?"

Libby: Jimmy? Cindy? Are you finally back in your own bods again?
Cindy/Jimmy: No! 'Cause it's all Neutron's fault!
Jimmy/Cindy: My fault? What are you talking about?
Cindy/Jimmy: If it weren't for Folfax, Wheezer, and Estevez, none of this would have happened, and our pants and ankles are stil different!
Jimmy/Cindy: Well, it's also all your fault we're still each other in this jam!

The Phantom of Retroland[edit]

Jimmy: And so, in 1851, physicist Jean Foucault hung a pendulum from a 200 foot wire--much as I've done here--and proved the Earth revolves.

Jimmy: Every thinking person knows the Phantom's just a fable.
Cindy: Oh, obsess, why don't ya? You're only putting down Nick because despite all your logic you're just as scared of the Phantom as everyone else.
Nick: No kid who goes to Retroland after midnight has ever been seen again.

Carl: "Dear, Jimmy. I can't come with you tonight, as I have decided to join the French Foreign Legion. This is a decision I do not make likely, as I ha…" [notices Jimmy looking at him as he opens the front door] H-Hi, Jimmy. I thought you said 11:30.
Jimmy: Well, you'd have surely been on a plane to Algeria by then, Carl.

Carl: Sheen, the phantom of Retroland is gonna tear us limb from limb and eat us! Say something!
Sheen: You ever notice how Jimmy's hair is like one of those gum massager things? It's all swirly and… What?!

Jimmy: Glad you could make it, Sheen. How did you sneak out?
Sheen: Oh, I just told my grandma that I had to go to a deserted theme park to be eaten by a maniac. She told me to wear clean underwear.

Sheen: I wonder what order he'll eat us in.
Jimmy: He's kidding, Carl. No one's going to eat us. [checks the time on his wrist watch] Three, two one, midnight! Hah! We did it! We took a hypothesis, constructed a scientific protocol, and conclusively proved it false. Take that, Nick and all your ilk!
Carl: You know what I smell, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Victorious truth rising above the ashes of superstition?
Carl: No. [turns around, pointing to something] Salami. [Camera zooms out to reveal the Phantom standing in front the boys; screams]
Jimmy: Stand your ground! It's obviously a trick.
Sheen: Could you sign this, "To Sheen. With admiration and affection," please?
[Goddard barks at the Phantom while defending the boys, only for the Phantom to growl at him again]
Jimmy: [as the Phantom chases them to pendulum ride] He's not real! He's a mythical construct!
Carl: Hey, better safe than swallowed, Jimmy. Oh, he'll just climb in.
Jimmy: Not if we're moving.

My Son, the Hamster[edit]

Sheen: Jimmy! You're like a hamster! Or a gerbil! Or a dolphin or something!

Judy: [to Hugh] Why don't you spend some quality time with Jimmy? It could be a special Father-Son day.
Hugh: That's a great idea! I used to have those with my Aunty all the time! Only we called them Aunty-Nephew days, but it's probably the same basic, uh, idea. We could go to the park, we could, uh… eat cheese! We could even go to Retroland! I love those zig-zaggy lines! They're so … not … straight.
Judy: [sighs] Oh, Hugh.

Jimmy: Brain blast! Carl, hand me that hamster trail. Sheen, get my magnifying ray. I'm gonna lure Mr. Wuggles back to the lab with the one thing no hamster can resist.

Judy: Hugh, that was not our son! That thing had fur, and big teeth, and whiskers!
Hugh: I've been calling him, "furry Jimmy."

Hall Monster[edit]

Cindy: [to Jimmy] Okay, Neutron, you're outta control! I'm making a citizen's arrest!
Sheen: I want a public defender!
Libby: I... I want my music!
Carl: [cries] I want my mommy! [whimpers and then smiles] And some fudge!

Jimmy: [to Carl] You've exceeded the number of llama stickers on your lunchbox!
Carl: [nervously] I know...but I... I have a special permit.

Hypno Birthday to You[edit]

Sheen: [rolls dice] Seven! [chuckles] Your llama is sucked into a volcanic sinkhole, where flesh-eating bats will nip at his screaming face. [eats popcorn]
Carl: Sheen, there aren't any volcanic sinkholes in Llama's Day Out!
Sheen: Maybe that explains why I'm not having fun. [eats popcorn]
Jimmy: [Enters] Hi, Carl. I ran out of chemicals mid-experiment and I know you got a chemistry set for your birthday?
Sheen: [rolls dice] Eleven!
Carl: Hey, you can use my chemistry set, Jim. [He gets his Mama's Boy chemestry set down from a shelf.] Oh, the potato's not included.
Jimmy: Uh, that's okay. I assume it comes with a few cc's of ethyl mercaptin?
Carl: Uh... no.
Jimmy: Well, I can work around that. How about some, uh... dimercural sulfonative?
Carl: Uh... yeah...? No.
Jimmy: Tritium nitrate?
Carl: I've got salt.
Jimmy: Oh, Pukin' Pluto! How's a guy supposed to make a four-dimensional Hypercube molecule without access to the complete spectrum of inorganic chemicals?!
Sheen: Welcome to my nightmare. [eats popcorn]
[Jimmy rolls his eyes.]
Carl: [Walks over carrying a leaflet] Here you go, Jimmy. Check out this leaflet from inside the box.
Jimmy: [reading leaflet] "Also try our Ultra-Deluxe model. Contains every element from aluminum to zirconium." Now, that's what I'm talkin' about! [suddenly blue, sighs] Aw, who am I kidding? I don't have any money, and my birthday's three months away.
Sheen: [eats popcorn] Ah, quit procrastinating, Carl, for I'm not -- forget it! I'm rolling for you! [rolls one die and piece of popcorn] One! [chuckles] And Carl's llama falls down. Down into the sulfurous mud pit! How the snake god will be pleased!
Carl: Hey, how could you roll the one if there are two dice?
Sheen: Huh? Oh. Yeah... [Picks up the die and popcorn; suddenly grabs throat and chokes.] Someone get me the jaws of life!

Krunch Time[edit]

Jimmy Android: Morning, Mom. Be down in a minute. I love you. You're the best mom in the world.

Judy: James Neutron, go to bed right now, and I mean you! Not the Jimmy Android that says nice things.
Jimmy: Boy, moms are smart. Good night, Goddard.

Jimmy: No more candy, no more problems. What are they gonna go? Riot?
Crowd: [chanting angrily] Down with Jimmy! Down with Jimmy! Down with Jimmy! Down with Jimmy…
Hugh: I can't believe I'm saying that about my own son but, that candy is just too darn good.
Judy: [holding up a sign that says "We want candy now!"] Don't talk! Chant!
Hugh: Down with Jimmy! Down with Jimmy!
Jimmy: People, listen to me! It's only candy!
Cindy: I say we hold him down and force him to make us more candy!
Hugh: Good idea, go for his tiny legs! CHARGE!
[The angry mob starts charging closer to Jimmy]
Everyone: ATTACK!
Jimmy: Goddard, chopper mode!
Judy: Oh, no you don't, mister! Grab him! Get him, right now! Pull him down!
Jimmy: Goddard, plot a course for the most deserted place in town!

Sam: [as Jimmy is hiding out in the Candy Bar to avoid the mob of people] Well, look who's here. Mr. "I'm-going-to-invent-the-best-candy-in-the-world-and-put-the-Candy-Bar-out-of-business".
Jimmy: I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to. I didn't know my candy would be that popular.
Sam: That's what the guy who invented underpants said! Anyways, you better skedaddle. That angry mob's gonna be here any moment.
Jimmy: How do you know that?
Sam: I called them. What do you expect? I've gone broke here! [crowd starts chanting "Candy! Candy!" outside the Candy Bar] Uh-oh. Rhythmic chanting. That's a bad sign, yeah.
Jimmy: Oh, what am i gonna do? Think, think, think.

Substitute Creature[edit]

Libby: What's that supposed to be?
Sheen: The rare Punching Plant of Melbore 9, as seen in UltraLord epsiode 64, "Attack of the Salad Fixin's"!
Libby: Looks like a boxing glove glued to a fern, if you ask me.
Sheen: Well, nobody asked you! Anyway, what have you come up with that's so wonderful?
Libby: I researched plants' responses to musical stimuli. This one got two hours of classic R&B a day while this one got two hours of Yodelling to the Oldies.
Sheen [pointing to the one that got two hours of "Yodelling to the Oldies"]: That one looks dead.
Libby [shakes her head sadly]: It never had a chance.

Judy: Drop the toaster and run for it!

Miss Fowl: Is that you, Ernest Abercrombie?! Where is your homework?! It's 28 years overdue!

Cindy: If you think you're gonna be the hero here, Neutron, you are sadly mistaken. These seed pods from your plant prove that you are responsible for this whole thing.
Carl: Ah, finally, dinnertime! [takes the seed pods out of her hand and eats them]
Cindy: NO!
Carl: Mmm, oh, these are, mmm… [grows giant with green skin]
Sheen: Whoa… Carl's huge!
Carl: Hey… Hey, this is kind of cool! [laughs] I can see my house from here.
Jimmy: I can fix him! I just need to get another toaster!
Cindy: Uh-huh.
Jimmy: And you guys need to… uh, get that DNA Ray out of Ms. Fowl's stomach. Good luck, see ya, bye!
Libby: We have to what?
Sheen: You heard him. We have to make our teacher toss the lunch monkey. We need a bucket, an umbrella and whatever they were serving for lunch in the caferteria on Thursday! Goddard, hit it!
[Goddard plays town-saving music]

Safety First[edit]

Sheen: Hey, Jimmy, I've been meaning to ask you something.
Jimmy: I know, I know. Why am I carrying two lunches? Because of that bully Terry Finster! This way, after he steals mine, I still have something to eat!
Sheen: Actually, I was going to ask you who would win in a fight between Big Foot and a Komodo Dragon, but your question's good too.

Hugh: [to Jimmy] Just got a phone call from Terry's mom! Did you two have a little spat-a-roo?
Judy: Hugh, the talk?
Hugh: [clears throat] Once upon on time, a boy sparrow said to a girl sparrow, "Hey, nice feathers! Can I buy you some millet?" Well, the girl sparrow…
Jimmy: You know what, dad? I would really love to hear the rest, but I'm having a small emergency, bye!
Hugh: And when he got to her nest, he was alarmed to find out that her mother was a cantankerous old crow!
Judy: Hugh!

Crime Sheen Investigation[edit]

Sheen: You've gotta help me, Jimmy! If you don't, I'll have to ask complete idiots to help me and you know how unreliable they are!

Sheen: Don't feel bad, Jimmy. You tried your best. It just wasn't anywhere near good enough.

Journey to the Center of Carl[edit]

Jimmy: I know I've said this a few times before, but this is my greatest invention ever! The Neutronic Sick Patch! Guaranteed to get you out of school for the day!

[Vortex residence; Cindy goes under acupuncture in her bathing suit covered in needles]
Mrs. Vortex: Relax Cindy, only 678 more needles to go.
[Wheezer residence; Mr. Wheezer has put Carl in a plastic bubble]
Mr. Wheezer: [laughing] This is the same plastic bubble my father put me in for 14 happy years! Hey, there, Bubble Boy!
Mrs. Folfax: [holding a jar in the center of Libby's forehead with a wasp inside] Relax baby, it's only a little wasp. Your great-great-great grandmother used wasps to cure everything!

Hugh: [playing the ukulele] ♪ You're my Honolulu Lulu! Lulu! Like a little cockatoo in a tutu! ♪

[The students call Jimmy after the Sick Patches dissolved into their skins]
Cindy: [in her swimsuit at her room] Your sick patch dissolved into my skin, Nerdtron!
Sheen: Jimmy, my patch pulled a Houdini! Doesn't it rock?!
Libby: Cure me or face the consequences!
Carl: I DON'T WANT TO BE A BUBBLE BOY!
Jimmy: Okay, okay, settle down! I can fix it! Carl, Sheen, sneak out and meet me in the you-know-what.

Jimmy: We've reached our destination… [sniffs] the stomach.
Sheen: [seeing toys in the stomach acid] Man. [sniffs] Carl eats a lot of junk, doesn't he? Hey, Carl! You're supposed to play with the toys in The Silly Meals, not eat 'em!
Carl: I know, but they always look so colorful and chewy!

[As Jimmy cures everyone with vaccines, they all return to school]
Jimmy: [back in school] I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm finally glad to be going back to normal enough for school.
Libby: [also back in school with her wasp sting in the middle of her forehead] Yeah! I'm never getting sick again! Plus, one little sting from that wasp really hurt!
Cindy: [also back in school as well, but still in her swimsuit] "One little sting"? Try "678 needles", Folfax, and then talk to me about pain!
Libby: Wait a minute, Vortex. Why are you still in your bathing suit?
Cindy: Oh. No reason.
Nick Dean: [rocking back and forth, muttering helplessly] No more leeches, Mama, no more leeches, Mama, no more leeches, Mama.
Ms. Fowl: It's so good to have you all back! Now I'd like you to meet a new student! Please give a nice warm friendly welcome to Yentl Marmelstein!
Yentl: Hi, I… (sniffes then sneezes happily) Oh sorry, I have a cold.
Everyone: NOOOOOO!!!!!
Libby: Keep her away from us!
Sheen: Unclean! Unclean!
Carl: SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY!
Everyone: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
(Everyone scrambles out of the classroom)
Ms. Fowl: I think they LIKE you!

Aaughh!! Wilderness!![edit]

Hugh: What is this? Insect repellent? A compass? Toilet paper? These frilly luxuries will just weigh us down.
Judy: Hugh, are you sure you know what you're doing?
Hugh: Don't forget I was an Acorn Lad! I remember everything I ever learned like the song we used to sing! [singing] We are the Acorn Lads, something, something, the Acorn Lads.

Hugh: Oh, it's no use! We're done for, and it's all my fault! The truth is, I'm a rotten camper! There, I said it. The other Acorn Lads used to dunk my head in the bug juice. I can't even make a stupid fire.
Jimmy: Oh, don't worry, Dad. We'll find a way out of this. I don't care if you're a mediocre camper, I still think you're a great dad.
Hugh: Thanks, son, I…I needed to hear that.
Sheen: So you couldn't even make a fire.

Party at Neutron's[edit]

Hugh: Whoo-hoo! I can't believe it, Sugar-Booger! We're finally gonna get to see Ducks, the greatest musical ever made!
[Sings]
When you're a duck,
You're a duck all the way,
From the first time you quack
To the last egg you lay!
[Jimmy uses his Time Accelerator on him, speeding him up.]
When you're a duck
You will live in a blind.
With a little or long orange,
It's a fresh melon rind!
Du-u-u-u-u-u-ucks!
The Musical.
[Jimmy winks at the camera.]

Hugh: Let's get a move on, puddin'. Don't wanna miss the overture! [Sings, to the tune of Beethoven's 5th Symphony] Da-da-da-duuuuuck! Da-da-da-duuuuuck! [Continues singing]
Judy: Oh, Hugh. [To Jimmy] We'll be home around 11:30.
Hugh: Eh, Jimbo, you want us to... wake ya up when we get home and reenact the show?
Jimmy: Uh...no thanks.
[Hugh exits.]

Jimmy: Sometimes, a scientist's lot can be a lonely and boring one, Goddard. [the doorbell rings] Saved by the bell. [leaves his room to get the door; Carl and Sheen are there]
Sheen: Hey, Jimmy, good news! I got the first season of Teenage Ultra Lord on DVD, with 162 awesome hours of bonus features and deleted scenes!
Carl: Yeah. In one exciting episode, the actors flub their lines with hilarious results.
Jimmy: Oh, sorry, guys, I can't. My parents are out and I can't have anybody over.
Sheen: Your parents are gone? You're home alone? They won't be back till Ultra Lord knows when? Let's get ready to boogie!
Jimmy: No, Sheen, seriously. I signed a legal document.
Sheen: But think of the fun, the laughs, the excitement, the joy, the memories.

Cindy: [holding Jimmy's shrink ray at Carl] Hey, Wheezer. What happens if I point this at you and press the button?
Carl: Don't, don't. You'll make me real… [Cindy shrinks him; in high-pitched voice] small!

Tiny Carl: [running around Amber, Courtney, and Tristan dancing like Peanuts characters] Don't step on me!

Jimmy: [answering the phone as it rings] Jimmy Neutron, party monster.
Hugh: Jimbo?
Jimmy: [alarmed] Dad?!
[Cut to his parents driving back home with Judy driving with annoyance and Hugh wearing a big duck head]
Hugh: Bad news. One of the actors in Ducks broke his wing, so I jumped on stage to fill in and, well, I kind of, sort of, I, uh, accidentally-
Judy: [annoyed] He destroyed the entire set.
Hugh: It could've happened to anybody. Anyways, we'll be home in about five minutes, see you soon, son! [tosses the phone out of the car and into the street]
Jimmy: [worried with horror] 5 minutes?! No!

Ultra Sheen[edit]

Carl: Oh my favorite video game?" Oh no no it's too much pressure. "Ninja llamas in space?" Eh no. "Llama vs. Mega Dingo?" Eh… [gasps] Of coarse! "Llama palooza!" [sighs] Oh I love you most of all. [kisses the video game.]

Sheen: ULTRALORD! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Carl: Oh, yeah! I'm bad! I DEFEATED ULTRALOOOOOORRRRD!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Sadly] And yet, I feel empty inside. Maybe it's because this game doesn't have any llamas?

Ultralord: AAARRGH! That's gonna leave an ULTRA BRUISE!

Broadcast Blues[edit]

Principal Willoughby: Jimmy, I'd like you to meet the new producer of Science with Jimmy!
[Cindy enters the room.]
Jimmy: NO!!!!!
Principal Willoughby: And... [Libby enters the room.] Your new co-host!
Jimmy: NO!!!!!
Libby: Jimmy, calm down. We know that you want the show to educate people. We deeply and genuinely respect that.
Jimmy: NO!!!!!

Professor Calamitous, I Presume[edit]

The Eggpire Strikes Back[edit]

Ms. Fowl: Good report, Libby, but next time leave off the headphones. I've been asking you to wrap it up for the last 20 minutes.
Libby: [not understanding] What?!
Ms. Fowl: I said, next time you can…
Libby: [still not understanding] Pardon?
Ms. Fowl: I said sit down! [gets up from her desk with graded chemistry test papers as Libby sits back at her desk] Now, class, time to hand back last week's chemistry test. [hands Cindy her graded test] Congratulations, Cindy. You got the best grade in the whole class.
Cindy: A+. Pack it in, Neutron. Your best years are behind you. I got an A+ to your lowly…
Jimmy: Read it and weep, Vortex. [holds up his graded test to her]
Cindy: "A++?!" Ms. Fowl, I thought you said I got the best grade in class.
Ms. Fowl: I meant, except for Jimmy. Do I really need to say that every time?

Sheen: You know, this wouldn't happen if you people just wear your Ultra Lord Utility Belt!

Jimmy: Carl, are you okay? Speak to me!
Carl: Flying metal chicken.
Jimmy: Oh, no. He's delusional!
Sheen: Actually, Jimmy, I gotta go with Carl on this one. [points to a giant Yolkian chicken ship in the sky]
Jimmy: The Yolkians.

Jimmy: Attention, Retroville, this is the Neutron early alert system! This is an emergency! We're being invaded by Yolkians! All citizens report to the park immediately to defend the town!

Hugh: Still beautiful. You see, Jim-Jim, evil spaceniks are people just like you and me, and like people, they deserve a second chance, especially the ones with huge bags of gifts.
Principal Willoughby: Stop them before they're nice again!

Jimmy: Mom, Dad, you can't honestly believe the Yolkians aren't evil anymore just 'cause they brought us presents.
Judy: But such lovely presents, dear. Hugh, look at my new diamond earrings again.
Hugh: Still beautiful.
Jimmy: Well, the sooner they go back to Yolkus, the better, if you ask me.
King Goobot: [flushes the toilet as he exits the bathroom] Hello, Neutrons. How are my three humanoid life forms doing?
Jimmy: Mom! What's he doing here?!
Judy: Didn't you tell him, Hugh?
Hugh: [realizes] Nope. Must've slipped my mind. Jimbo, say hello to our new houseguest—- King Goobot!
Jimmy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait! Time out, here! We're letting an evil alien live in our house?!
Hugh: Now, Jimbo, don't be rude. The Yokians are friendly now. They've even offered to fill in for all of us at our humdrum jobs for as long as we want.
Jimmy: Mom, say something!
Judy: How do you like your steak cooked, Mr. Goobot?
King Goobot: Cooked?! Oh, uh, I mean, however you like it, my good woman.

Ms. Fowl: Good morning, children. Starting today, I'm taking an indefinite holiday. So say hello to your substitute teacher: Ooblar!
Jimmy: What?!
Ooblar: Thank you, old one.
Ms. Fowl: Thank you for the motorcycle. Ciao! [dashes away]
Ooblar: Well, won't this be fun? I just know we're going to have a wonderful time getting to know each other.
Carl: Um, Mr. Ooblar, may I go to the bathroom?
Ooblar: WHY?! So you can plot a rebellion by passing notes through the sewers and rally the town to battle?! [all the students look at him] Uh… forget I said that. [laughs] I meant, of course you may.
Carl: Actually, I kind of don't have to go anymore.

Jimmy: Oh, what's the point of having a state-of-the-art laboratory if it won't help you prove Yolkians are evil?
[Goddard plays a recording of King Goobot's voice]
King Goobot: [recorded] Good people of Earth, there's no cause of alarm. We come in peace.
Jimmy: Hey, good idea, Goddard. If we scan Goobot's words through your lie-detector, we can see if he's telling the truth. Hit it, boy! [Goddard scans Goobot's words on his lie-detector drive and the screen displays "False"] Oh, no! They're just as evil as ever! Only this time they've come down to get us. Come on, we've gotta warn the others! [exits his clubhouse and runs to the back door, finding a note] What's this? Let's see. "Dear Jimmy, we went to the park to see the giant egg. Love, Mom and Dad." Giant egg? [gasps in horror] POULTRA!

Carl: JIMMY PLUCKS A HAIR AND HOLDS IT UP TO THE DNA SCANNER NEXT TO THE CLUBHOUSE DOOR!! [inhales] HIS COMPUTER'S NAME IS VOX!!! [scarfs down the sundae]
Sheen: I am deeply ashamed of you, Carl. And quit eating all the nuts!
Cindy: Thanks, boys. Let's do this again sometime.

Judy: I'm worried about Jimmy, Hugh. He's alienated everyone in town with all this talk of evil Yolkians.
Hugh: D'oh, you know boys. It's probably just a phase, like…collecting bugs or eating soup with your hands. I hear Jimbo's over this whole "evil" Yolkian thing by now.
Jimmy: [runs into the kitchen] Mom, Dad, the Yolkians are planning on feeding the entire town to Poultra at today's picnic!
Hugh: [spits out his drink] I stand corrected.
Judy: What are you talking about Jimmy?
Jimmy: They're transporting Poultra's water dish down from deep space. That means Poultra's not far behind! Whatever you do, don't go to the picnic today.
Hugh: We're still going, right?
Judy: Wouldn't miss it.

Libby: Okay, that concludes the boring and annoying portion of the program. Our next act…
Cindy: [runs up on the stage and takes microphone out of Libby's hand] Wait! I think Jimmy's telling the truth!
Jimmy and Libby: You do?
Cindy: Yes! While I have no idea how the Yolkians could possibly have gotten into Jimmy's lab… Well, the point is, we owe Jimmy! Who saved us when hostile pants were on the loose in the streets? Who repelled the giant flaming meteor headed straight for town? Who risked his life to shrink Ms. Fowl down to size when she was 50 feet tall? OK, I know. All of those things were Jimmy's fault in the first place, but he still risked his life to save us! The least we owe him is our trust!
Sam: You know, the annoying blonde girl has a point.
Man: Eh, she usually hates Jimmy.
Ms. Fowl: Well, Jimmy did save me from being a giant freak woman.
Libby: Give it up for Jimmy! [the crowd cheers for him] We believe in you, Jimmy!
Principal Willoughby: Now, wait just a minute. I'm not believing a word Jimmy says until I have some decent credible evidence. [Poultra roars in distance] Works for me.
[The townspeople start to run but a Yolkian pushes a button, closing the gates, trapping them]
Miss Fowl: Sweet muffins, we're trapped!
[Poultra's water dish is released from under the stage]
Hugh: [as the Yolkians release Poultra's water dish] Hey, look! Jimmy's wrong again. The nice Yolkians built us a swimming pool.
Judy: Hugh, that's Poultra's water dish!

Cindy: Neutron, if there were ever a time to put that big, freak brain to work, it's now!
Libby: We're counting on you!
Jimmy: OK! OK! Think, think, think… [tries to, but it was too late] I CAN'T DO IT!!!!! [crying] CINDY, YOU GOTTA HELP ME! I'M SORRY I WAS LEADER! I'LL NEVER GET US OUTTA HERE! [screams loudly] HELP!!!!!
Cindy: [slaps Jimmy in the face] Get a grip, Neutron! We still have time to focus somehow… I think. First things first! Estevez, you come with me! We gotta distract Poultra together! Folfax, Wheezer, and Neutron! Keep that monster busy!

Maximum Hugh[edit]

Jimmy: If Dad competes, we lose for sure. Goddard, options. "Accept your father's limitations." Nah, too mature. "Pretend you're sick." I'm no quitter. "Cheat." Hmm…cheating would be dishonest, but I'm far to blinded by my desire to destroy Cindy to care. To the lab!
[Goddard's screen displays "Here we go again."]

Mr. Wheezer: We won! And not a single injury! [drops the trophy]
Carl: Oh, my foot!
Mr. Wheezer: Oh, my back!
Carl & Mr. Wheezer: [crash into each other] Ow! My head!
Mr. Wheezer: Oh, I think I got a bone spur.
Carl: Ooh! Leg cramp!
Mr. Wheezer: My kidneys are on FIRE! [faints]

Hugh: Now, remember, son - there's no "I" in "team," you know what I mean?
Jimmy: You mean we should sublimate our differences for the good of our combined effort?
Hugh: What? No, no, I mean there's no letter "i" in the word "team." There's never a wrong time for a spelling lesson, son!

Sleepless in Retroville[edit]

Hugh: I remember my first sleepover. The games, the practical jokes, the crying for my mommy.
Judy: Hugh, that was our honeymoon.
Hugh: Yeah, I know.

Jimmy: Gentlemen, welcome to what I expect to be the greatest sleepover in history.
Sheen: Yeah! I baked galactic marshmallow balls from the Ultra Lord recipe book.
Carl: And I brought a video of "Larry the Lovesick Llama"!
Jimmy: You know, I have something you guys'll enjoy even more. Behold the Slumbertron 9000, designed to throw the ultimate sleepover party. It provides the world's greatest made-to-order pizza, tells super scary stories, and supplies the perfect pillows for ultimate pillow fights!
Sheen: Turn it on! Turn it on! Pizza, pillows, scary stories!
Jimmy: Hey, hey, hey. Easy, Sheen. One thing at a time. This is the Slumbertron's maiden voyage. I suggest we begin with…the pillow fight.

Jimmy: I'm hungry. How about some pizza?
Carl: You read my stomach.
Sheen: I want pepperoni and garlic and onions and anchovies…
Carl: And peanut butter and clams and hot fudge. [Jimmy and Sheen look at him awkwardly over what he said] Don't knock it till you try it.
Jimmy: Okay, okay, one ultimate pizza coming up.

Jimmy: I believe the time has come for scary stories.
Carl: Well, okay, but, um…not too scary, Jimmy, 'cause remember what happened [whispers] the last time when I got too scared?
Sheen: Hey, did you bring your rubber sleeping bag?
Carl: Yes.
Sheen: Then what's the problem? Make it scream-your-head-off scary.
Jimmy: One scream-your-head-off scary story coming up.
Carl: [getting scared] It's just a story, it's just a story, it's just a story.
Dr. Dark: Good evening. I am Dr. Dark, teller of terrible tales.
Sheen: Hold up. Do mean terrible like lousy, or terrible like scary?
Dr. Dark: SCARY!
Sheen: [frightened] Got it.

Jimmy: The Slumbertron must've combined the pizza and scary story programs to create…
Carl: A PIZZA MONSTER!
Jimmy: I can't delete the pizza! The screen's frozen!
Pizza Monster: Time for my dinner!
[The boys run away, screaming]
Carl: HELP! WE'RE BEING CHASED BY A MONSTER!

Jimmy: Mission accomplished.
Sheen: If only it used its anchovies for good instead of evil.
Carl: I'm starving. Let's eat!
Pizza Monster: Fools! Haven't you ever heard of sequels?
Jimmy: [after a nightmare] Oh, it was only a nightmare. An anchovy, clam and peanut butter induced nightmare. [sees his parents running down the stairs until Hugh wakes up screaming]
Hugh: Whew! That was a doozy.
[After Carl wakes up from a nightmare screaming from mutant pizza]
Carl: Bad dream! Bad dream! [sees Sheen getting attacked by Pizza Monster]
Sheen: [screams] Phew. I guess it was all just a dream. Hey Carl, I-- [But Carl is nowhere to be seen. He picks up Pizza Monster in two hands, making the Pizza Monster terrified.]
[After the Pizza Monster wakes up from a nightmare screaming.]
Pizza Monster's Wife: Honey, what is it?
Pizza Monster: Oh, I had the most horrible dream. There were 3 terrible children, a tubby one, a maniac one and one with a giant head!
Pizza Monster's Wife: I told you, dear. There's no such thing as children, now go back to sleep.
[Both go back to sleep in their pizza box beds.]

Make Room for Daddy-O[edit]

Jimmy: I have to bring back the old Dad, and I've gotta do it fast!
Sheen: I smell a Brain Blast!
Carl: Oh, is that what that is? [snorts] I thought it might be the cheese ball I've been carrying around since I was 3. [He shows a rotten cheese ball.] I call him Cheesy.
[Jimmy makes a face, then begins thinking.]
Jimmy: Think, think, think…!
[A memory of Hugh catching Jimmy is shown.]
Jimmy: Brain Blast!
Sheen: Told ya. [Eats Carl's cheese ball]

Beach Party Mummy[edit]

Jimmy: Oh, sorry, Carl. I couldn't bring your goldfish back to life.
Carl: [sniffles sadly] Goodbye, Swimmy. I'll miss you, boy.
Sheen: Why must the good die young?!
Jimmy: Now I thought re-stimulating his brain waves with my new Electro-Life device would bring him back. But I guess not.
Sheen: Jimmy, we might have a pop quiz today. Can I stimulate my brain?
Jimmy: No.

Miss Fowl: Today, we will watch part one of Ken Burns' 97-hour documentary on the history of mummies.
Cindy: Yawn. I'd rather chew off my own foot.
Libby: [whispering] No, I wanna check this out. My family tree goes back to Egypt. Mummies are cool.
Miss Fowl: [inserts the tape in the VCR] Butch, would you get the lights?
Butch: Sure thing, teach. [pulls out a slingshot and shatters the lights off]
Miss Fowl: [hand in face] Thank you.
Jimmy: I don't wanna see videos of mummies. I wanna see real mummies!
Carl: Oh, I don't. They might rise from the dead and attack us!
[Miss Fowl turns on the TV with a remote; As the documentary starts, she and all her other students quickly start to fall asleep]
Jimmy: [looks at a colored drawing of Egypt] What am I doing sitting here? I'm a science genius. [turns around to his friends] Who's up for a quick trip to Egypt?
Cindy: What could be more boring than going with you to Egypt? [after for a second; makes up her mind] Let's roll.
[The kids tip-toe quietly out of the classroom and into the hallway]
Jimmy: [quietly] I'll go home and get my hover car and meet you guys in back of the school.
Carl: But, what if we get caught?
Sheen: We're not gonna get caught.

Carl: Guys, we can't leave school! It's ditching, and it'll go on our permanent record!
Sheen: Carl, how many times do I have to tell you? Your permanent record is just a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster or North Dakota.
Jimmy: [arrives in his hover car] All aboard for Egypt!
Libby: Did you guys know I'm related to Cleopatra?
Cindy: No. Why don't you tell for the ten-millionth time?
Sheen: I'm related to the guy that invented baseball.
Libby: What?
Carl: Wow.
Cindy: Really?
Sheen: Oh, wait, did I say baseball? I meant spray-on-eyebrows.
Jimmy: Light speed to Egypt!
Cindy: This better not be like the time you took us to the center of the earth and all we found was a bunch of hot dirt.
Jimmy: Oh, come on, guys. This is going to be a great adventure. We're going to find the lost tomb of Queen Hazabataslapya.

Carl: Jimmy…I've been saying, "Toot Van Halen" for 3 hours. Can I stop now?
Cindy: Way to go, Neutron. You haven't found anything. I'd rather be in school.
Jimmy: [disappointed] I don't understand it. I can't seem to find the lost tomb.
Cindy: Duh! That's why the call it the "lost tomb," not the, here-it-is tomb: "come inside and have a milkshake."
Carl: Oh, Swimmy loved milkshakes.
Libby: Let's go home. I need to apply some emergency skincare products.
Cindy: And so ends another chapter of the boring and stupid adventures of Jimmy Neutron.
Jimmy: But, guys, we're here in an exotic, distant, foreign land. We might as well have some fun.
Cindy: Fun? Yeah, right. Let's have a party in this beautiful spot.
Jimmy: Party?
Sheen: Uh, Jimmy? Where's the bathroom? All I see is sand, and I'm not a cat.
Jimmy: Sand? Yeah!

Jimmy: Let's have an Egyptian Beach Party!
Sheen: I'm in.

Carl: All my life I wanted to go an authentic Egyptian Beach Party!

Libby: Jimmy, what's happening?
Jimmy: The increased air friction has created a high-intensity displacement of the ground covering…
Cindy: Cut to the chase.
Jimmy: SANDSTORM!

Cindy: Okay Neutron, once again you blew it, big time… [Jimmy gasps in surprise at something with his jaw dropped] Hey, Jumblehead, I'm yelling at you. [snaps her fingers] Pay attention. What are you looking at?
Jimmy: [turns her head] The entrance to the lost tomb of the Queen Hazabataslapya.
Sheen: You think there's a bathroom in there?
Jimmy: [pushing the tomb's doors open] We shall now enter the lost tomb and see what has been unseen for 3,000 years.
Cindy: Shouldn't we like, call National Geographic or Harvard?
Libby: Or Harrison Ford?

Carl: Okay, are things gonna like, jump out at us and scare us?
Sheen: [jumps out from the side, scaring him] No, Carl. Everything here is dead.
Carl: Oh, that's good, 'cause… Dead things?! [points to a skeleton] Uh, I'm allergic to dead things!
Jimmy: Don't worry, Carl. Nothing's going to hurt you.
[The kids turn around and gasp at something shocking on the wall]
Cindy: I don't believe it.
Sheen: It can't be.
Jimmy: But it is.
Carl: IT'S…
[The wall shows a hieroglyphic of Queen Hazabataslapya, who looks similar to Libby as Jimmy and Sheen turn to her before cutting to commercial break; cut back to the kids in the tomb]
Jimmy: It's Queen Hazabataslapya!
Sheen: Smokin'. I'd be her king in Retroville minute.
Cindy: She looks just like… [points to Libby]
Carl: Me?
Libby: No. Me.
Sheen: Wow, Libby. Maybe she's your great-great-great-great-great… [as time passes by] great-great-great grandmother!
Libby: I'm royalty.
Cindy: Oh, boy, here we go. Queen Libby is in the house.
Libby: Hey. Maybe this whole place belongs to me. I can turn it into a hot little dance club/restaurant/boutique/water park/…
Carl: Hey, Jimmy. [pointing to the hieroglyphics] Somebody wrote on the walls. [gasps] They're gonna get in trouble.
Jimmy: No, no, Carl. Those are hieroglyphics. The ancient Egyptian art of picture writing.
Sheen: Hey, I saw this in "Ultra Lord vs. the Mutant Pus-Spitting Mummy." I can read this stuff.
Cindy: Yeah, right.
Sheen: "The queen flew on the wings of an eagle. She had a VCR, but wanted a DVD, and the gods sent munchkins to hypnotize her water-skis. So she took her peanut butter sandwich for a walk." The end.
Carl: Wow, Sheen, that was amazing!
Cindy and Libby: Oh, boys.
Jimmy: Excuse me. My watch has a Sanskrit-to-English translator with a Rosetta stone upgrade. The queen was only 18 when she died.
Sheen: Why must the good die young?!
Jimmy: "Whosoever disturbs my resting place, shall endure eternal punishment, and pain shall erupt from every poor, and their screams shall be heard down the centuries and-"
Cindy: [interrupting] Get to the point, Doofus of Arabia.
Jimmy: It's just a silly curse. And there's no such thing as curses.
Carl: Oh, so they're like the Loch Ness Monster and North Dakota.
Sheen: Hey, guys-- I think I found the bathroom. It smells like a bathroom. I wish I had one of those deodorizer things you hang in the car from the rear-view mirror.
Carl: Lemon or strawberry?
Sheen: Thanks, Carl. Hey, why do you carry those around with you?
Carl: …'Cause.
Jimmy: Follow me.
Carl: Oh, I bet something really bad's gonna happen.
Cindy: With Nerdtron leading the way, it's a pretty safe bet.

Principal Willoughby: [realizing] Hold on. We don't have a school tanning salon.
[Cut to the kids in an empty chamber in the lost tomb]
Sheen: I for one am deeply disappointed. It's just a big empty room.
Jimmy: Well, the pyramid designers sometimes build hundreds of empty chambers to confuse grave robbers. So they wander aimlessly for days until they…
Cindy: [interrupting] You got ten seconds to get outta here.

Jimmy: Spice jars! If we can gather up enough kaffir lime leaves and dry mustard powder, I can ignite them and blow the door open!
Sheen: Where do you learn all this stuff, Jimmy?
Jimmy: That I learned at the library.
Sheen: Ohh. And the library is a…?

Cindy: Okay, this field trip is over. How are you gonna get us out of here, Mr. Tour Guide?
Jimmy: [spooky] We don't want to get out of here.
Sheen: Okay, Jimmy's lost it. I elect myself leader. Everybody start crying and yelling.
Jimmy: [just before they do that] No, guys. Look. The queen's burial chamber. Get ready to see a real, live mummy.
Sheen: Hey, Jimmy. Was the queen gonna have a garage sale?
Jimmy: The Egyptians believed in an afterlife, so they preserve their bodies and buried them with their furniture, jewelry, pets…
Sheen: [laughing] Man. Those Egyptians were a bunch of whack jobs. But just in case they're right, I'd like to be buried with my Ultra Lord collection.
Carl: Well, guys, this was fun. [laughs nervously] Okay, let's all leave in a quite and orderly fashion before we see something really scary, like… [turns around to see…] MUMMIES! [runs and bumps into Jimmy, who drops the torch and the light goes out]
Jimmy: Everybody, shh! Stand still, I'll find my torch. [accidentally touches Cindy]
Cindy: Ow! That's not your torch.
Jimmy: Sorry.
Carl: Hey, Jimmy, I still got your Electro-Life thingy that makes a light. [activates the Electro-Life, lighting up the room, unaware by bringing the three mummies to life]
Jimmy: Found it! [picks up the torch and lights it up] Now let's a take a look at those mummies.
[The mummies growl and start moving their bodies]
Carl: [worriedly frightened] J-Jimmy, the mummies are looking at us.
Jimmy: Impossible.
Libby: They're moving.
Jimmy: I did it! My Electro-Life works! I can bring the dead back to life!
Sheen: All right! You trampled all over the laws of nature! Way to go!
Cindy: Yeah, terrific. Now a bunch of dead guys wrapped in toilet paper are gonna kill us.
Carl: Um, guys, I suggest we… RUN!
[The kids start running as the mummies chase them]
Sheen: Jimmy, next time you invite me anywhere, remind me to say no.
Jimmy: Let's hope there is a next time!
Libby: [to the mummies] Hey, guys, I'm related to your queen.

Cindy: So, this is how it ends. Playing hide and get killed in a tomb in Egypt.
Sheen: Why must the good die young?!
Carl: They're coming this way. [whispering] Everybody stay quiet.
Libby: Uh, Jimmy, now would be a real time for one of your brain blasts.
Jimmy: Think, think… Brain blast! Libby, quick, I need you.
Libby: Why, Jimmy, this is so sudden!
Cindy: Hey, what's goin' on?
Sheen: It's the desert love curse. Working its evil ways on Jimmy's heart.
Jimmy: Libby, you look like the queen. If you pretend to be her, maybe the mummies will obey your command.

Libby: [to the mummies] I command you to sleep for 5-
Others: 10!
Libby: 15 trillion more years! [the mummies snore as they fall asleep] Sleep tight, and don't let the scarab bugs bite.
Jimmy: Carl, give me the Electro-Life.
Carl: Why, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Some things should not see the light of day, for who am I, a mere mortal to alter the very laws of mortality.
Cindy: Good thing we're in a tomb 'cause you're boring us to death.
[Jimmy tosses the Electro-Life off aside]
Sheen: Hey, guys! I finally found the bathroom! [Thump!] OW! Why must the good get hit on their heads again?!
[Outside the lost tomb, the gang are all in Jimmy's hover car, about to fly back home to Retroville]
Sheen: Farewell, cruel desert!
Carl: Don't forget to write!
Libby: You know, I think I'm down with this new look. I'm gonna keep it.
Cindy: (sarcastically) So, do we have to address you as Queen Libby from now on?
Libby: [giggles] No. [jokingly] "Your Mighty Fine Royal Marvelousness" will do.
Jimmy: Light speed back to Retroville!

Carl: Miss Fowl, we're back!
Others: [annoyed] Carl!
Miss Fowl: [waking up along with Principal Willoughby] Where have you children been?! I want the truth.
Principal Willoughby: And I'll have none of this whole "school tanning salon" mumbo-jumbo!
Sheen: Uh, did I say we were going to the tanning salon? I meant, uh… the bathroom!
Principal Willoughby: Oh. Well, all right, then.
Carl: In Egypt. And Libby got to be a queen, and mummies chased us, and we discovered a lost tomb!

External links[edit]

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius at TV.com