Ms. Fowl: It looks like some of our candidates have been found guilty of bribery, blackmail, and MURDER![class screams] Sorry, not murder. I meant operating a zeppelin on school premises. Anyway, they're all illegal campaign activities, which means Jimmy, SHEEN and Libby have been disquaaaalified!
Jimmy: Today is the single greatest day in the history of the universe. Pluto is aligning with Neptune causing space snow flurries to create galactic ice crystals which keep ice cream at the perfect eating temperature! Yes.
[One by one, the Jimmy clones emerge.]
Positive Jimmy: Hi, everybody! Isn't it a super, amazing, great day?
Negative Jimmy: [stifled grunt] You call this a great day? [sniffs] I should have stayed in bed!
Romantic Jimmy: Ah, but romance is in ze air, eh? It is a beautiful day to fall in love, n'est-ce pas?
Funny Jimmy: [laughing] Hey, everybody! It's great to be here for Line-up Night! Hey, have you seen that Cindy Vortex? Talk about the Wicked Witch of the Elementary. [Laughs] Hey, but seriously, these are the jokes, folks, come on, laugh with me.
[Goddard plays a laugh track.]
Macho Jimmy: Hey! Who's up for some football, huh?
Evil Jimmy: Nice place, kid. You know, I could have some serious fun with this stuff... [snickers]
[All clones watch Jimmy blast off outside]
Evil Jimmy: Hey, you heard the man: do your chores, boys.
Negative Jimmy: But I've never mailed a letter! What if I get my hand stuck in the box?!
Positive Jimmy: Hey, turn that frown upside down, Mr. Gloomy Gus! Everything's gonna be terrific!
Romantic Jimmy: [chuckles]Mais oui! Love is all around us.
Macho Jimmy: 'Ey! Let's do it to it!
Funny Jimmy: And awaaay we go!
[Cuts to Positive Jimmy at the park.]
Positive Jimmy: Hello, Grandmother, dear.
Grandmother: Where have you been? This bench is too hard. These birds are getting too close. The sun hurts my eyes.
Positive Jimmy: Isn't it a beautiful day? Aren't these birds absolutely amazing? Isn't it great to be alive?!
[Cuts to Negative Jimmy at a mailbox with his hand stuck.]
Negative Jimmy: Ow...
Carl: Oh, hi, Jimmy. I have to do a report on snails or Napoleon. Can you help me?
Negative Jimmy: What's the point of doing homework? We do it and then what? Poof, We're gone. Nothingness, emptiness. We're all just dust in the wind.
Carl: Okay, I..I don't want to be dust in the wind.
[Cuts to Macho Jimmy walking downtown with Disco music playing.]
Macho Jimmy: He shoots, he scores. Neutron is definitely on. Lookin' good. You the man, you the man. 'Ey, it's the Nicksta.
Nick: Neutron? What are you doing?!
Macho Jimmy: I'm walkin' here! You got a problem wit' dat, Skateboard Boy!?!
Nick: Uh, "Skateboard Boy"? [Macho Jimmy skates on Nick's skate board] Whoa, check it out! Neutron has the moves! [crunching, skateboard breaks in two]
Macho Jimmy: Well, how 'bout next time you get a board that can handle the Neutron style? Later, Nick-O-Rama.
[Nick looks angrily in Macho Jimmy's direction, cuts to Sheen playing with his action figures.]
Sheen: "I am Ultra Lord, and I will swing my mighty bat of combat!" "You can't catch me!" "Yes, I can!" Hey, hey, Jimmy, want to see my new action figure?
Funny Jimmy: Do I? Come on, does Robin Hood wear a pantyhose? Hey, why did Ultra Lord cover himself with mayonnaise? [Sheen looks awkwardly at Funny Jimmy] He wanted to make a hero sandwich! [laughs] Hello! [knocking on Sheen's head] Anybody in there? Paging Mr. Sheen. The village called. They want their idiot back.
Sheen: Are you okay, Jimmy? 'Cause you seem really weird.
Funny Jimmy: I'm weird?! [laughing] Come o-o-o-o-on! You should see Ultra Lord's uncle Morris!
[Cuts to Romantic Jimmy walking to Cindy's house, smiling to the camera, and ringing Cindy's doorbell.]
Cindy: [sighs] Whad'ya want, Neutron?
Romantic Jimmy: To return a book and to drink in your beauty, Miss Vortex.
Cindy: Very funny.
Romantic Jimmy: I jest not. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Not even Shakespeare seems inadequate to describe your perfection!
Cindy: Cut it out, Neutron, before I barf!
Romantic Jimmy: Ah, ah, ah! But before zat, would you favor me wiz a kiss?
[Romantic Jimmy tries to kiss Cindy, but has the door closed on him and faints.]
Cindy: Is he for real? And what's with the bad French accent? [opens door after hearing music]
Romantic Jimmy: [Guitar playing][singing] Oh, Cindy, I love you, more than Albert Einstein's theory of relativity. Oh, Cindy, ma cherie, [laughs] my little Cindy. Would you please come and kiss me? [Cindy faints to French Jimmy's surprise] Wait, why are you sleeping?
[Cuts to Evil Jimmy walking up to a man.]
Evil Jimmy: Hey, buddy, want a pie?
Evil Jimmy: [splats pie in the man's face, snickers] You can't beat the classics!
Nick: [screams as he flies through the air] DUDE!! Oh, man, I broke my leg!
Sheen: All right! That's good luck! Way to go, Nick!
Carl: Uh, Jimmy, I thought we agreed that we didn't like girls.
Jimmy: We don't. Betty is a woman.
Sheen: Got it!
Carl: Hey, Jimmy, I just found out that the play Macbeth has a curse, and you're not supposed to say "Macbeth," 'cause if you say "Macbeth," bad things happen because you said "Macbeth," and we've been saying "Macbeth" a lot. And congratulations on getting the part of Macbeth! [gasps] I SAID "MACBETH"!!!
Mrs. Vortex: My daughter, Cynthia is the star of the show.
Hugh: She's Macbeth?
Mrs. Vortex: No, she's a witch.
Judy: [rolls her eyes] So I hear.
Hugh: Can I have a mocha espresso with plenty of sugar?