The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius/Season 1

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Seasons: 1 2 3 | Main

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius is a show that ran on Nickelodeon from 2002–2006. The show follows the life of genius kid Jimmy Neutron and his friends and family. It is also based on the 2001 CGI film Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.

When Pants Attack[edit]

Judy: James Issac Neutron! How many times have I told you to pick up your pants?!
Jimmy: Well, I know just the dog who can answer that, mom. [Snaps fingers, Goddard comes out] Goddard, access maternal reprehend data, cross reference: pants.
[Goddard begins replaying the times Judy asked Jimmy to pick up his pants.]
Judy: [onscreen] Jimmy! Pick up your pants, please? -- Uh, Jimmy? Pick up your pants. -- Pick up your pants. -- Pants. -- Jimmy! -- Jimmy? -- Jimmy? -- Pick 'em up. -- Jimmy! -- Pick up... -- Pick up... -- Jimmy? -- ...Your pants!
[Screen says "54 times to date".]
Judy: I rest my case.

[Cindy presents her report with Jimmy unintentionally joining in.]
Cindy: Origami: the ancient art of Japanese paper folding. I will be making the most difficult of all origami structures; a snow monkey.
Jimmy: Actually, paper folding originated in China --
Cindy: Riding a flying dragon --
Jimmy: In the second century A.D. --
Cindy: While drinking tea --
Jimmy: And was brought to Japan --
Cindy: On a ladder --
Jimmy: In the sixth century --
Miss Fowl: Cindy, I didn't know you and Jimmy were doing this report together.
Cindy: We're not!

Normal Boy[edit]

Cindy: Neutron, why don't you just go to college and leave us all alone.
[The students chatter in agreement as Principal Willoughby walks in the classroom]
Principal Willoughby: Good news, everyone, Jimmy Neutron's state test scores were the highest in world history. [As Jimmy cowers nervously as everyone glares at him, the bell for recess rings] Okay, time for recess. [shouting] No one go near Jimmy's head! [softly] That's precious cargo.
Jimmy: I liked your project, Libby.
Libby: Ah! [holds up a skeleton skull to Jimmy's face] Talk to the skull.

Sheen: [after Jimmy attempts to use a Brain Drain helmet on himself] Wow, look at him. He looks so... so similar.
Carl: Aw, don't worry, Jimmy. There's always next time.
Jimmy: [notices the shine on his inventions, speaking in a derpy-like voice] Shiny? Shiny! I like shiny!
Carl and Sheen: It worked!
Jimmy: Hey, have you guys seen my loopy dance? [singing] I'm loopy, I'm loopy, I'm loopy, loopy, loopy...
Carl: You know, this new Jimmy seems kinda stupid.
Sheen: Yeah, he's really messed up. [beat] I like him!
Carl: Me too!
Sheen: Can we keep him?

Miss Fowl: Okay, who can tell me the square root of 144? Bwaaak!
Jimmy: [raises hand] I know! Eleventy-six!
Miss Fowl: Well, no, I'm sorry, bwaak. That's wrong.
[All students gasp; Cindy raises her hand.]
Miss Fowl: Cindy?
Cindy: 12.
Miss Fowl: That's right, bwaak.
Cindy: YES!

Birth of a Salesman[edit]

[Jimmy is outside school, along with Carl, Sheen, Libby & Cindy.]
Jimmy: Ladies and gentlemen... and Cindy, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld!
Carl: A llama?
Jimmy: No.
Carl: A baby llama?
Jimmy: [scoffs] No!
Carl: A baby llama with a little hat on?
Jimmy: [angerier] NO!
Cindy: An invention of yours that actually works? [She and Libby laugh.]
Jimmy: NO!!.. I mean...yes! I present to you... my latest neutronic invention ... [Presents three pieces of miniature books] ... Book Gum. why read a book when you can just chew the book instead?
Sheen: Wow, Jimmy, chewing a book.
Jimmy: Sheen, you don't actually chew a book. See, I reduced the contents of different books to gum form. You chew it, and you know it.
[He gives some gum to Sheen, who chews it.]
Sheen: Tastes... fishy. [starts quoting from Moby-Dick] "Call me Ishmael. Starbuck, it's the great white whale. I'll get you, Moby Dick!"
Cindy: Give me a piece of that. [Takes a piece and chews] Hmm... It tastes like fried chicken. [starts quoting from Gone with the Wind] "Oh, Ashley, Oh, Rhett. I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies."
[Carl is about to taste a handful of gum pieces.]
Jimmy: Careful, Carl. It would be very dangerous to eat more than one at a time.
[Carl selects a piece.]
Carl: Mmm... William Shakespeare.
Jimmy: That might just be a little strong for you, Carl.
Carl: [quotes Romeo's monologue from Romeo and Juliet, during which Cindy rolls her eyes in amazement] "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the sun. See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek."

Jimmy: It's the good life, gentlemen. While the W.L. 3000 does all the work we're here enjoying a tall cold one.
Sheen: And plan our VIP trip to Retroland.
Sheen: What?
Carl: "Huzzah" some goofy way to say "COOL!"!
Man: What?!?
Willy: Goo-ood afternoon, sir. May I say you look absolutely f-f-fabulous? Ha-ha-ha, yes, I agree it is beautiful out, heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...
Man: I don't want to buy nothin'.
Willy: "Buy"? Who said "buy"? I-I-I'd like to give you a piece of c-candy, absolutely free with no strings attached.
Man: Forget it.
Willy: You can never have enough ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-andy, sir.
Man: I can. And I DO! Good-bye.
[The man almost closes the door, but Willy blocks it.]
Willy: Y-yes, y-y-y-yes, this is a "g-good buy".
Man: [struggling to close the door] What part of "NO!" do you not understand?
Willy: [holds up Goddard] How about if I throw in this free-ee-ee-ee dog if you buy a box?
Man: Hmm... what kind of dog is he?
Willy: He's your kind of dog. C-congratulations.
[Willy gives Goddard to the man, takes his money and slams the door]
Man: [from inside the house] Hey, what does he ea-? Wha-? Wha-? Oh! OH! not on the carpet, yo-! Ooh... Are those lug nuts?

The Big Pinch[edit]

Jimmy: [sarcastic] Oh, I forgot about the ever popular mud-powered radio.
Cindy: And I forgot about your mud-powered brain!
Thomas Edison: Woo! That hovercar's a piece of work!
Jimmy: Thank you, Mr. Edison. You know, I achieved the upward thrust using strautium nitium-crusted fuel rods and titanium valuves.
Thomas Edison: Are you done? It's not that great, okay?

Jimmy: [mimicking Edison] Hey, you mangy canine, get away from there.
[Goddard barks]
Jimmy': [normal voice] Fooled you. It's just me, Goddard. See, I installed a voice transformer inside this walkie-talkie. Observe. [mimicking Edison] Whip-diddly-doo, everybody. Pretty good, huh? Now open wide, boy.
[Goddard whines]
Jimmy: [normal voice] Aw, Goddard, this is going to help me break up Edison and Miss Fowl. Now, come on pretend it's a nice, crunchy lug nut.
[Goddard belches]
Jimmy: Good boy. Good boy. Now here's the plan...

Granny Baby[edit]

Jimmy: [takes out the flask] She's awfully old. I hope this is enough.
[Granny sits across from the Jimmy Dummy, trying to open a lid of a small bottle, as the real Jimmy enters with the Tonic behind his back]
Granny: Good morning. [points to the dummy] I was just telling you over there about my deviated spatchum. On cold mornings it rattles like the Tin Man throwing up a hoagie full of wood screws.
Jimmy: What’s in the bottle?
Granny: Tongue De-Furrer. Your tongue gets furry when you’re old. Sometimes I wake up it has chewing on it.
Jimmy: Let me open that for you. [Jimmy takes the bottle, turns his back and he pours the tonic in the bottle and turns back to Granny] I think you’ll feel much better and quieter after you drink this.
Granny: [Drinks it and smacks her lips distastefully] Tastes funny. Of course, what do I know – after sixty your sense of taste completely disapp- [the medicine then ends up transforming her into a baby]
Jimmy: Granny?!
Granny: Goo-goo-ga-gee.
Jimmy: Uh, oh. Granny?
Granny: I feel great! Did I just take my morphine?

[Jimmy picks up bottles of DANGEROUS CHEMICALS (labeled as such). Cindy looks at a shelf, carrying Granny, who holds a rattle.]
Granny Baby: I’m bored! Make a funny face and let me hit you with a rattle.
Cindy: No.[Granny Baby cries.] Okay, okay! [Cindy does a funny face and Granny Baby hits her in a face with her rattle.]
Granny Baby: It's fun hitting you. Ha ha ha ha!
Jimmy: [whispering] Granny Granny quiet.
Guy: Did that baby just talk?
Jimmy: No. Ha ha, why? Everyone know babies can't talk.
Granny Baby: [To People] That's right. 'Cos if we could the Videotubbies’d became the subway, it’d make their head aerials spin. Ha ha ha ha!
[The people gasp. Jimmy and Cindy running from the clamoring mob.]

Time Is Money[edit]

Jimmy: [after watching the commercial of the Encyclopedia of Infinite Knowledge] Wow! Did you guys see that? There's never been an encyclopedia like that ever! I gotta have it.
Sheen: That's so crazy, because I so don't want it.

Judy: [about Sheen & Carl] And what are they doing here? The big one is odd and the thin one is a weirdo.
Carl: Hey, you can't insult us like that!
Hugh: [tosses Carl and Sheen a gold brick] Here you go, get yourself something nice.
Sheen: Sure they can! [turns to Carl] Let's go, odd guy!
Carl: [snorts] You got it, weirdo!

Sheen: I liked the part about the medulla oblongata. I don't know what it means, but I love the way it sounds! [waves his UltraLord action figure at Carl] Back or I shall slay thee with my medulla oblongata!

Raise the Oozy Scab[edit]

Cindy: What kind of dunderhead would want to talk to a bunch of stupid fish?
Carl: I wanna talk to fish! I wanna talk to fish!! [snatches the microphone out of Jimmy's hand and sees a fish] Oh, hey there, little fella! Do you like Fish Snack 'Ems? They're made from fish like you, only chopped up into little bite sized pieces and deep fried in burning oil! [the fish screams and swims away]

Cindy: [about Jimmy] Throw him in the brig!
Jimmy: It'll take a lot more than ravenous hunger to turn my men against me! [puts fists on hips and stands proudly] Tell her, boys!
Sheen: I'll get some rope!
Carl: I'll hold him down!

Cindy: You know, Jimmy, I hear each one these pieces of taffy is worth over three cents.
Jimmy: I don’t wanna talk about it.

I Dream of Jimmy[edit]

Jimmy: Carl, you're asleep. This is a dream.
Carl: Don't be silly. If this was a dream, could I do... [pulls a brain out from his head] this?
Jimmy: That's the only time you can do it! Carl, you're asleep, there are llamas in the classroom! Libby rowed to school with a plastic leg!!
Carl: Her paddle broke.

Jimmy: [observing Carl's genius state in his dream] When Carl's asleep, he dreams he's a genius like me.
Cindy: Like you? Please, you can't even spell your own name!
[Jimmy looks down at his school desk, seeing apparently botched attempts at spelling "Jimmy"]
Carl: Now I need a dummy who will volunteer.
[Everyone points at Jimmy]
Jimmy: But I'm not dumb. I'm a genius!
[Everyone laughs]
Cindy: [giggling] If you're so smart, what's the square root of a flexnart?
Jimmy: That doesn't make any sense!
Carl: The square root of a flexnart is a cupful of boogers.
Libby: [dreamily] He did that all in his head!

Carl: H-oh wow, I had the craziest dream!
Jimmy: I know. I was there. You almost got me killed by a lagoon! [sees the man-eating Lima bean creeping up behind Sheen] Sheen, don't move. There's a giant man-eating Lima bean behind you.
Sheen: Ha! You guys. I haven't believed in that since I was like seven!

Jimmy On Ice[edit]

Hugh: [after he and his posse mistake Jimmy and Godard in the distance for a caribou] There's gonna be caribou chili tonight boys.
All Three Men: [chanting] Ugh lugh lugh yeah! Ugh lugh lugh yeah! Ooooooooooh..... CARIBOU!

Judy: [to Jimmy] Sweetie, eat your caribou before it gets hard and icy.

Battle of the Band[edit]

Sheen: Hey! Hey! What is this? I specifically requested dolphin-safe donuts! I refuse to perform until all of my ridiculous demands are satisfied!

[While Jimmy, Carl & Sheen are fighting with each other.]
Jimmy: Wait a minute. Sheen, Carl! What are we doing?
Sheen: Well, I was about to strangle Carl.
Carl: Yeah, and I was about to slap Sheen on the back of the head.

See Jimmy Run[edit]

Ms. Fowl: [after Jimmy invisibly steals her sandwich] Well I....Who took my sandwich? [spots a squirrel] So that's your game, is it? well, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-For-Acorns, how'd you like a nice detention?

Trading Faces[edit]

[Lindbergh Elementary School; Jimmy and Cindy are walking down the hallway]
Jimmy: [in Cindy's body] My ankles are freezing. Why don't girls just buy pants that cover their legs?
Cindy: [in Jimmy's body] Stop dragging my feet, those are new shoes! Look, if we just act like each other, nobody will ever know.

Jimmy: [as Cindy] Do you think I spent enough hours on my hair this morning? Hey, everybody, look at my ankles! When'll I ever get a pair of pants the right length? [laughs] Who knows?

[After Jimmy is put back in his body.]
Jimmy: [smiling] I can't see my ankles.
Carl: [screaming] Oh, no! He's blind!
Jimmy: Uh, no, Carl. I have my own pants back!

The Phantom of Retroland[edit]

Carl: Sheen, the phantom of Retroland is gonna tear us limb from limb and eat us! Say something!
Sheen: You ever notice how Jimmy's hair is like one of those gum massager things? It's all swirly and... What?!

Jimmy: Glad you could make it, Sheen. How did you sneak out?
Sheen: Oh, I just told my grandma that I had to go to a deserted theme park to be eaten by a maniac. She told me to wear clean underwear.

My Son, the Hamster[edit]

Sheen: Jimmy! You're like a hamster! Or a gerbil! Or a dolphin or something!

Judy: [to Hugh] Why don't you spend some quality time with Jimmy? It could be a special Father-Son day.
Hugh: That's a great idea! I used to have those with my Aunty all the time! Only we called them Aunty-Nephew days, but it's probably the same basic, uh, idea. We could go to the park, we could, uh... eat cheese! We could even go to Retroland! I love those zig-zaggy lines! They're so ... not ... straight.
Judy: [sighs] Oh, Hugh.

Hall Monster[edit]

Cindy: [to Jimmy] Okay, Neutron, you're outta control! I'm making a citizen's arrest!
Sheen: I want a public defender!
Libby: I... I want my music!
Carl: [cries] I want my mommy! [whimpers and then smiles] And some fudge!

Jimmy: [to Carl] You've exceeded the number of llama stickers on your lunchbox!
Carl: [nervously] I know...but I... I have a special permit.

Hypno Birthday to You[edit]

Sheen: [rolls dice] Seven! [chuckles] Your llama is sucked into a volcanic sinkhole, where flesh-eating bats will nip at his screaming face. [eats popcorn]
Carl: Sheen, there aren't any volcanic sinkholes in Llama's Day Out!
Sheen: Maybe that explains why I'm not having fun. [eats popcorn]
Jimmy: [Enters] Hi, Carl. I ran out of chemicals mid-experiment and I know you got a chemistry set for your birthday?
Sheen: [rolls dice] Eleven!
Carl: Hey, you can use my chemistry set, Jim. [He gets his Mama's Boy chemestry set down from a shelf.] Oh, the potato's not included.
Jimmy: Uh, that's okay. I assume it comes with a few cc's of ethyl mercaptin?
Carl: Uh... no.
Jimmy: Well, I can work around that. How about some, uh... dimercural sulfonative?
Carl: Uh... yeah...? No.
Jimmy: Tritium nitrate?
Carl: I've got salt.
Jimmy: Oh, Pukin' Pluto! How's a guy supposed to make a four-dimensional Hypercube molecule without access to the complete spectrum of inorganic chemicals?!
Sheen: Welcome to my nightmare. [eats popcorn]
[Jimmy rolls his eyes.]
Carl: [Walks over carrying a leaflet] Here you go, Jimmy. Check out this leaflet from inside the box.
Jimmy: [reading leaflet] "Also try our Ultra-Deluxe model. Contains every element from aluminum to zirconium." Now, that's what I'm talkin' about! [suddenly blue, sighs] Aw, who am I kidding? I don't have any money, and my birthday's three months away.
Sheen: [eats popcorn] Ah, quit procrastinating, Carl, for I'm not -- forget it! I'm rolling for you! [rolls one die and piece of popcorn] One! [chuckles] And Carl's llama falls down. Down into the sulfurous mud pit! How the snake god will be pleased!
Carl: Hey, how could you roll the one if there are two dice?
Sheen: Huh? Oh. Yeah... [Picks up the die and popcorn; suddenly grabs throat and chokes.] Someone get me the jaws of life!

Krunch Time[edit]

Sam: [as Jimmy is hiding out in the Candy Bar to avoid the mob of people] Well, look who's here. Mr. "I'm-going-to-invent-the-best-candy-in-the-world-and-put-the-Candy-Bar-out-of-business".
Jimmy: I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to. I didn't know my candy would be that popular.
Sam: That's what the guy who invented underpants said! Anyways, you better skedaddle. That angry mob's gonna be here any moment.
Jimmy: How do you know that?
Sam: I called them. What do you expect? I've gone broke here! [crowd starts chanting "Candy! Candy!" outside the Candy Bar] Uh-oh. Rhythmic chanting. That's a bad sign, yeah.
Jimmy: Oh, what am i gonna do? Think, think, think.

Sheen: Hey Jimmy, that last batch was delicious! [electrocuted] Also, incredibly painful. [electrocuted] Hey, do you guys smell smoke? [electrocuted] I can't feel my face! [electrocuted] Why does everything look blue? [electrocuted]

Substitute Creature[edit]

Libby: What's that supposed to be?
Sheen: The rare Punching Plant of Melbore 9, as seen in UltraLord epsiode 64, "Attack of the Salad Fixin's"!
Libby: Looks like a boxing glove glued to a fern, if you ask me.
Sheen: Well, nobody asked you! Anyway, what have you come up with that's so wonderful?
Libby: I researched plants' responses to musical stimuli. This one got two hours of classic R&B a day while this one got two hours of Yodelling to the Oldies.
Sheen [pointing to the one that got two hours of "Yodelling to the Oldies"]: That one looks dead.
Libby [shakes her head sadly]: It never had a chance.

Jimmy: I can fix him! I just need to get another toaster!
Cindy: Uh-huh.
Jimmy: And you guys need to... uh, get that DNA Ray out of Miss Fowl's stomach. Good luck, see ya, bye!
Libby: We have to what?
Sheen: You heard him. We have to make our teacher toss the lunch monkey. We need a bucket, an umbrella and whatever they were serving for lunch in the caferteria on Thursday! Goddard, hit it!
[Goddard plays town-saving music]

Safety First[edit]

Sheen: Hey, Jimmy, I've been meaning to ask you something.
Jimmy: I know, I know. Why am I carrying two lunches? Because of that bully Terry Finster! This way, after he steals mine, I still have something to eat!
Sheen: Actually, I was going to ask you who would win in a fight between Big Foot and a Komodo Dragon, but your question's good too.

Hugh: [to Jimmy] Just got a phone call from Terry's mom! Did you two have a little spat-a-roo?
Judy: Hugh, the talk?
Hugh: [clears throat] Once upon on time, a boy sparrow said to a girl sparrow, "Hey, nice feathers! Can I buy you some millet?" Well, the girl sparrow...
Jimmy: You know what, dad? I would really love to hear the rest, but I'm having a small emergency, bye!
Hugh: And when he got to her nest, he was alarmed to find out that her mother was a cantankerous old crow!
Judy: Hugh!

Crime Sheen Investigation[edit]

Sheen: You've gotta help me, Jimmy! If you don't, I'll have to ask complete idiots to help me and you know how unreliable they are!

Sheen: Don't feel bad, Jimmy. You tried your best. It just wasn't anywhere near good enough.

Journey to the Center of Carl[edit]

[The students call Jimmy after the Sick Patches dissolve into their skin]
Cindy: Your sick patch dissolved into my skin, Nerdtron!
Sheen: Jimmy, my patch pulled a Houdini!
Libby: Cure me or face the consequences!
Jimmy: Okay, okay, settle down! I can fix it! Carl, Sheen, sneak out and meet me in the you-know-what.

[Cindy goes under acupuncture covered in needles]
Mrs. Vortex: Relax Cindy, only 678 more needles to go.

Mrs. Folfax: [holding a jar in the center of Libby's head with a wasp inside] Relax baby, it's only a little wasp. Your great-great-great-great grandmother used wasps to cure everything!

Jimmy: We've reached our destination... [sniffs] the stomach.
Sheen: [seeing toys in the stomach acid] Man. [sniffs] Carl eats a lot of junk, doesn't he? Hey, Carl! You're supposed to play with the toys in The Silly Meals, not eat 'em!
Carl: I know, but they always look so colorful and chewy!

Libby: I'm never getting sick again! That wasp sting really hurts!
Cindy: One little sting? Try 678 needles and then talk to me about pain!
Nick Dean: [mutters helplessly] No more leeches, Mama, no more leeches, Mama, no more leeches, Mama.

Ms. Fowl: It's so good to have you all back! Now I'd like you to meet a new student! Please give a nice warm friendly welcome to Yentl Marmelstein!
Yentl: Hi, I... (sneezes) Sorry, I have a cold.
Everyone: NOOOOOO!!!!!
Libby: Keep her away from us!
Sheen: Unclean! Unclean!
Everyone: RUN FOR IT!!!

(Everyone scrambles out of the classroom)

Ms. Fowl: I think they LIKE you!!!

Aaughh!! Wilderness!![edit]

Hugh: Don't forget I was an Acorn Lad! I remember everything I ever learned like the song we used to sing! [singing] We are the Acorn Lads, something, something, the Acorn Lads.

Party at Neutron's[edit]

Hugh: Whoo-hoo! I can't believe it, Sugar-Booger! We're finally gonna get to see Ducks, the greatest musical ever made!
When you're a duck,
You're a duck all the way,
From the first time you quack
To the last egg you lay!
[Jimmy uses his Time Accelerator on him, speeding him up.]
When you're a duck
You will live in a blind.
With a little or long orange,
It's a fresh melon rind!
The Musical.
[Jimmy winks at the camera.]

Hugh: Let's get a move on, puddin'. Don't wanna miss the overture! [Sings, to the tune of Beethoven's 5th Symphony] Da-da-da-duuuuuck! Da-da-da-duuuuuck! [Continues singing]
Judy: Oh, Hugh. [To Jimmy] We'll be home around 11:30.
Hugh: Eh, Jimbo, you want us to... wake ya up when we get home and reenact the show?
Jimmy: thanks.
[Hugh exits.]

Ultra Sheen[edit]

Carl: Oh my favorite video game?" Oh no no it's too much pressure. "Ninja llamas in space?" Eh no. "Llama vs. Mega Dingo?" Eh... [gasps] Of coarse! "Llama palooza!" [sighs] Oh I love you most of all. [kisses the video game.]

Carl: Oh, yeah! I'm bad! I DEFEATED ULTRALOOOOOORRRRD!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Sadly] And yet, I feel empty inside. Maybe it's because this game doesn't have any llamas?

Ultralord: AAARRGH! That's gonna leave an ULTRA BRUISE!

Broadcast Blues[edit]

Principal Willoughby: Jimmy, I'd like you to meet the new producer of Science with Jimmy!
[Cindy enters the room.]
Jimmy: NO!!!!!
Principal Willoughby: And... [Libby enters the room.] Your new co-host!
Jimmy: NO!!!!!
Libby: Jimmy, calm down. We know that you want the show to educate people. We deeply and genuinely respect that.
Jimmy: NO!!!!! ...You do?

Maximum Hugh[edit]

Mr. Wheezer: We won! And not a single injury! [drops the trophy]
Carl: Oh, my foot!
Mr. Wheezer: Oh, my back!
Carl & Mr. Wheezer: [crash into each other] Ow! My head!
Mr. Wheezer: Oh, I think I got a bone spurt.
Carl: Ooh! Leg cramp!
Mr. Wheezer: My kidneys are on FIRE! [faints]

Hugh: Now, remember, son - there's no "I" in "team," you know what I mean?
Jimmy: You mean we should sublimate our differences for the good of our combined effort?
Hugh: What? No, no, I mean there's no letter "i" in the word "team." There's never a wrong time for a spelling lesson, son!

Sleepless in Retroville[edit]

Hugh: I remember my first sleepover. The games, the practical jokes, the crying for my mommy.
Judy: Hugh, that was our honeymoon.
Hugh: Yeah, I know.

Carl: And I brought a video of Larry the Lovesick Llama.

Jimmy: [after a nightmare] Oh, it was only a nightmare. An anchovy, clam and peanut butter induced nightmare. [sees his parents running down the stairs until Hugh wakes up screaming]
Hugh: Whew! That was a doozy.
[After Carl wakes up from a nightmare screaming from mutant pizza]
Carl: Bad dream! Bad dream! [sees Sheen getting attacked by Pizza Monster]
Sheen: [screams] Phew. I guess it was all just a dream. Hey Carl, I-- [But Carl is nowhere to be seen. He picks up Pizza Monster in two hands, making the Pizza Monster terrified.]
[After the Pizza Monster wakes up from a nightmare screaming.]
Pizza Monster's Wife: Honey, what is it?
Pizza Monster: Oh, I had the most horrible dream. There were 3 terrible children, a tubby one, a maniac one and one with a giant head!
Pizza Monster's Wife: I told you, dear. There's no such thing as children, now go back to sleep.
[Both go back to sleep in their pizza box beds.]

Make Room for Daddy-O[edit]

Jimmy: I have to bring back the old Dad, and I've gotta do it fast!
Sheen: I smell a Brain Blast!
Carl: Oh, is that what that is? [snorts] I thought it might be the cheese ball I've been carrying around since I was 3. [He shows a rotten cheese ball.] I call him Cheesy.
[Jimmy makes a face, then begins thinking.]
Jimmy: Think, think, think...!
[A memory of Hugh catching Jimmy is shown.]
Jimmy: Brain Blast!
Sheen: Told ya. [Eats Carl's cheese ball]

Beach Party Mummy[edit]

Carl: Guys, we can't leave school! It's ditching! It'll go on our permanent record!
Sheen: Carl, how many times to I have to tell you? Your permanent record is just a myth! Like the Loch Ness monster or North Dakota!

Sheen: [to Jimmy] Where do you learn all this stuff?
Jimmy: That I learned at the library.
Sheen: Ohh. And the library is a...?

Sheen: (repeated line) WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG!?

External links[edit]