The Walking Dead (season 1)

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The following is a list of quotes from the first season The Walking Dead.

Days Gone Bye [1.01][edit]

Rick Grimes: What's the difference between men and women?
Shane Walsh: Is this a joke?
Rick Grimes: No, serious.
Shane Walsh: Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. Born thinking the switch only goes one way: on. Come home, house all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently because my chromosomes happen to be different is that I gotta walk through that house and turn off every single light this chick left on.
Rick Grimes: Is that right?
Shane Walsh: Yeah, baby. Oh Reverend Shane is a-preachin' to ya now, boy. Then this same chick, mind ya, she'll bitch about, uh, Global Warming. This is where Reverend Shane wants to quote from the Guy Gospel and say, "Uh, darlin' maybe if you and every other pair of boobs on this planet could just figure out that the light switch, see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much Global Warming?"
Rick Grimes: You say that?
Shane Walsh: The polite version. Still, that earns me this look of loathing you would not believe and that's when the Exorcist voice pops out "You sound just like my damn Father! Always yellin' about the power bill and tellin' me to turn off the damn lights!"
Rick Grimes: What do you say to that?
Shane Walsh: I know what I want to say. What I want to say, "Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?"

Morgan Jones: Bites kill you. The fever burns you out. But then after a while...you come back.

Glenn Rhee: [over the radio to Rick] Hey, you. Dumbass. Hey, you in the tank. Cozy in there?

Guts [1.02][edit]

Glenn Rhee: [to Rick] Nice moves there, Clint Eastwood. You the new sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?

Merle Dixon: Hey! Y'all be more polite to a man with a gun! Huh? Ah! Only common sense.

Merle Dixon: Who the hell are you, man?!
Rick Grimes: Officer Friendly. Look here, Merle. Things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart.
Merle Dixon: Screw you, man.
Rick Grimes: I can see you make a habit of missing the point.
Merle Dixon: Yeah? Well, screw you twice.
Rick Grimes: Ought to be polite to a man with a gun. [cocks gun] Only common sense.
Merle Dixon: You wouldn't. You're a cop.
Rick Grimes: All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anybody that gets in the way of that is gonna lose. I'll give you a moment to think about that.

Tell It to the Frogs[1.03][edit]

Merle Dixon: [delirious] That's right. You heard me, bitch. You got a problem? Bring it on if you're man enough, or take it up the chain if you're a pussy. You heard me, you pussy-ass noncom bitch. You ain't deaf. Take it up the damn chain of command or you can kiss my lily-white ass. [laughs] That's right. That's what I said. You heard me. And then this idiot, he takes a swing, you know, and well... [laughs] Oh, you should've seen the look on his face when I punched out his front teeth. Yeah, five of 'em. Pow! Pow! Just like that. Huh. Oh my God. Oh, 16 months... in the stockade, that's what them teeth cost me. That was, that was hard time, but by God, it was worth every minute of it just to see that prick spit his teeth out on the ground. Yes sir, worth every minute. Mmm.

Merle Dixon: [praying] I didn't behave, I know. I know I'm being punished. I know. I- Oh, I deserve it. I deserve it. I've been bad. Help me now. Show me the way. Go on, tell me what to do. Tell me. Tell me. God!That's okay. Never you mind, silly Christ boy. I ain't begged you before. I ain't gonna start begging now. I ain't gonna beg you now! Don't you worry about me begging you ever! I'll never beg you! I ain't gonna beg you! I never begged you before.

Dale Horvath: Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short.

Vatos [1.04][edit]

Daryl Dixon: Nobody can kill Merle but Merle.

Shane Walsh: Jim, nobody is gonna hurt you, okay?
Jim: That's a lie. That's the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it 100 times. It didn't matter. They came out of nowhere. There were dozens of 'em. Just pulled 'em right out of my hands. You know, the only reason I got away was 'cause the dead were too busy eating my family.

Daryl Dixon: Hey kid, what'd you do before all this?
Glenn Rhee: Deliver pizzas. Why?
Daryl Dixon: You got some balls for a China man.
Glenn Rhee: I'm Korean.
Daryl Dixon: Whatever.

Jim: I remember my dream now, why I dug the holes.

Wildfire [1.05][edit]

[Dr. Jenner is speaking to a recording camera.]
Edwin Jenner: Jenner here. It's Day 194 since Wildfire was declared and 63 days since the disease abruptly went global. There's no clinical progress to report. Item: I finally got the scrubbers in the east sector shut down to save power. Wish I could have done it a month ago, but it took me how long to figure it out. Too bad I never studied engineering. Could have saved a lot of amps. Item: Still not sleeping well. Can't seem to keep regular hours. Living underground doesn't help; not knowing if it's day or night. Just...feeling very...off.

[Dr. Jenner is speaking to a recording camera after the decontamination process destroyed his samples.]
Edwin Jenner: The TS-19 samples are gone. The tragedy of their loss cannot be overstated. They were our freshest samples, by far. None of the other samples we gathered came close. Those are necrotic. Useless, dead flesh. [Pause] I don't even know why I'm talking to you. I bet there isn't a single son of a bitch still listening out there, is there? [Gets closer to the camera] Is there? Fine. Saves me the embarrassment. I think tomorrow I'm gonna blow my brains out. I haven't decided. But tonight, I'm getting drunk. [Pours a glass of wine, finishing the bottle. Shows the camera the bottle.] Speaking of which, how far do you think I can chuck this, huh? Pretty far, I bet. [Throws bottle across room, shattering it.] Oh! It is out of the stadium!

TS-19 [1.06][edit]

Rick Grimes: [to Jenner] You don't know what it's like out there. You may think you do but you don't. It's only a matter of time. There's too many of those things. My boy, my wife, I never told them what I really thought. I never even hinted, just, just kept it in, kept us moving, kept it in, kept us moving.

Dale Horvath: I see a chance to make a new start.

Daryl Dixon: Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk. again.

Edwin Jenner: This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event.

Rick Grimes: [to Jenner, on being given the chance to survive] I'm grateful.
Edwin Jenner: The day will come when you won't be.