The Transformers (TV series)

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For other uses of "Transformers", see Transformers.

The Transformers is the first of several animated television infomercial series marketing the Transformers toy line to children.  There are four seasons in the original series.

Contents

Opening Titles[edit]

  • The Transformers! More than meets the eye!
  • Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!
  • The Transformers! Robots in disguise!
  • The Transformers! More than meets the eye!
  • The Transformers!

Season 1[edit]

More than meets the eye part 1[edit]

Shockwave: Fear not, Megatron. Cybertron shall remain as you leave it.

Megatron: Here's something to keep you warm.

More than Meets the Eye part 2[edit]

Cliffjumper: For someone who doesn't like to fight, heh, you're not bad, Mirage!

More than Meets the Eye part 3[edit]

Ravage:The rocket base is one hundred and forty kilometers due west of the Autobot camp.

Transport to Oblivion[edit]

Cliffjumper:: Don't worry, Megatron. I'll get them after I've taken care of YOU!
(Cliffjumper punches Megs downstairs. This has no effect, and he is brushed aside like a rag doll.)
Megatron:: WHO will take care of me?
Optimus Prime:: I will, Megatron.

Skywarp: :Starscream! Behind you!
(Starscream turns to see Cliffjumper and Gears running towards him)
Cliffjumper:: Too late, Starscream!
Starscream:: It's never too late, Autobot.
[calmly raises his left arm and fires]

Megatron: The Autobots robbed me of my victory, but they have not seen the last of Megatron. I shall be avenged!"

Roll for It[edit]

"Can the chat and start kickin' pig-iron!"

Brawn, heading into battle.


"Starscream! Thundercracker! You two look like Optimus Prime ran you through a laser-powered trash compactor!"

Megatron, observing the damaged condition of his men


"Leadership my sine function."

Starscream after hearing Thundercracker's remark on Megatron's leadership.


"Stealing the antimatter formula is gonna be a piece of oil cake!"

Reflector, thinking he is (they are?) clever.


"I don't like the idea of Megatron getting the antimatter formula. He can't be trusted!"
"Sure can't, manifold-mouth!"

Starscream gripes and Bluestreak's potty mouth slang


"Now this is a human after my own central processor!"

Prowl, commenting on Chip's computer-control.


"There's no one here! I must have static in my rectifiers."
"Now that's the smartest thing you've said all day!"
(flattered) "R-really? ...Hey, what's going on!"

Rumble, hoodwinked by Mirage and Hound.


"Gosh! You guys look like the guests of honor at a 50-car pile-up!"

Sparkplug Witwicky, upon seeing the battle-damaged Autobots return to base.


"I get the feeling our jet judo needs a little more work."

Sunstreaker to Sideswipe after their failed bid to stop the Seekers.


"You may not be an Autobot, but when you rolled for broke back there you sure could've fooled me."

Bumblebee congratulating Chip.

Divide and Conquer[edit]

"Heh, I wonder if I'll ever get used to that."

Sparkplug witnessing the Autobots transform


"He's doomed. I know it. I can feel it in my databank."

Huffer, hoping the best for a dying Prime.


"They sure don't build 'em like that anymore."

Sparkplug, commenting on the fact Optimus Prime is still alive after his chest explodes.


"Just like Sherlock Holmes with floppy disks!"

Spike, hopelessly over his head when it comes to computer talk.


"No one's ever really disabled as long as he has courage."

Chip Chase, and that’s one to grow on.


"I'm sorry, Spike. Sometimes nothing you do makes any difference."

Sparkplug to Spike, which, if you don't read as the general you, is actually kind of mean and funny.


"We can't go down without trying! Prime would want us to go for it, no matter what the odds! Well, are you with me, or do I fight this battle alone?"

Spike gives an inspirational battle rally to the Autobots after taking Jazz's gun.

Fire in the Sky[edit]

Skyfire: I'm a scientist, not an executioner!

Optimus Prime: He won't be forgotten, Spike. He will live forever... so long as freedom exists. We shall remember you, Skyfire.

S.O.S. Dinobots[edit]

Optimus Prime:Robot dinosaurs might be useful. You have my authorization."

Starscream: I, Starscream, am now your leader. Decepticons - follow me!

Rumble: If on Decepticon turf you happen to tumble, look out robot, 'cause here comes Rumble!

Fire on the Mountain[edit]

Megatron: Forgive me, Starscream, you have done an excellent job.

Starscream: Don't blame me. Thundercracker swiped defective steel, not I. It was his fault."
Thundercracker: You lie, Starscream.
Megatron: "SILENCE YOU FOOL!" (Punches Thundercracker right off the top of the pyramid)

Soundwave: "The Autobot jet is afraid to fight!
Brawn: "Wrong again, you dipstick tapedeck!
Windcharger: "We just didn't want him to spoil our fun!"

War of the Dinobots[edit]

Megatron: I’ve seen enough! My finest warriors defeated by those primitive, pea-brained beasts. Revolting!"

Optimus Prime: I do not want to fight you, but you leave me no choice."

Grimlock: Optimus Prime, can you forgive? Me Grimlock was jealous of you."

The Ultimate Doom part 1[edit]

Skywarp: I say Megatron's plan was brilliant.
Starscream: And I say the diversionary attack on the solar plant was a waste of energy.
Skywarp: You waste more energy with your mouth!

Jazz: Into the ocean, best be daring. The last one in is a rusty herring."

Optimus Prime: Have I saved Cybertron...only to destroy the Earth?

The Ultimate Doom part 2[edit]

Doctor Arkeville : Creating a mindless slave is simplicity itself, thanks to the brilliant complexity of my hypno-chip.

Optimus: Look at the monitors! You must help stop these disasters.
Grimlock: Uh, me Grimlock not care whole planet fall apart. Make no difference to me Grimlock.
Wheeljack: With you on it?
Grimlock: Hmm, hadn't thought of that.

The Ultimate Doom part 3[edit]

Wheeljack: All the comforts of home...if you liked living in an auto-robotic factory.

Bluestreak:Surf's up! And I'm talkin' UP!

Optimus Prime: You're not pushing slaves around this time.

Countdown to Extinction[edit]

Megatron: Your destiny is to serve me, my potent beauty."

Rumble: Megatron, it's...it's the Autobots!
Megatron: Impossible! They were doomed!
Skywarp: Don't worry. We'll make them regret undooming themselves.

Megatron: Here! Have a ton of fun!
[Megatron throws a boulder at Optimus and misses.]
Optimus: Hahaha! Your aim's improving, Megatron!

A Plague of Insecticons[edit]

Brawn: Well, let's look at the bright side—at least they didn't bring that sawed-off nerd Rumble along."
Brawn, showing he is an optimist, even in the worst situations.

Bombshell:Maybe we've picked the wrong allies, Shrapnel.

Megatron: The traitors! We befriended them, and now they steal our power source. Forget the Autobots, DESTROY THE INSECTICONS!

Heavy Metal War[edit]

Wheeljack: Let's see how he likes my new shockblast cannon! [The cannon explodes in his hands] Uhh... hnh... that's a shock, all right.

Grimlock:No destroy Teletraan I. Dinobots destroy you!


Sludge: Sludge not see these Decepticons before.
Snarl: Not see again either. Because we dynamite them to pieces!
Slag: Dinobots no fool around!
Grimlock: Right! Dinobots transform!

Devastator:Prepare to meet your doom. Nothing can withstand the might of Devastator!


Megatron: Uhhh... we shall rise... AGAIN.

External links[edit]

Template:Wikipedi

Season 2[edit]

Autobot Spike[edit]

"Another Autobot? Even if it works, who needs it?"

Ratchet is a 1984 purist.


"It's not supposed to do that!"

Sparkplug referring to Autobot X destroying Autobot headquarters


"So you Decepticreeps like to fly, eh? Well, take off!"

Brawn after kicking Soundwave


"Hmmm...if only there were a way of separating Spike's mind from his body while we work..."

Spike's doctor clumsily moves the narrative along within earshot of Autobot X's creator.


"He wants a battle—let's give him one!"

Starscream, referring to the now-mechanized Spike


"I must say, you've improved your appearance since our last encounter, Spike!"

Megatron, upon meeting Spike in Autobot form


General: Aren't they a gorgeous sight?
Optimus Prime: Impressive. [To Ironhide] For primitive rocket technology.

—Only Optimus Prime could both praise and diss humanity at the same time.

"Man, I've got powers I haven't even discovered yet!" - A mentally-deteriorated Spike as he fires on the Autobots.

"Hmmm, I wonder—I wonder what it would be like for a robot mind to be transferred to a human?"

Bumblebee, being eerily prophetic

Changing Gears[edit]

Ironhide: "Action first, Gears; maintenance later."
Gears: "Easy for you to say. Your pulleys don't squeak!"
Bumblebee: "Your squeaking's not the problem—[does a forward flip over Gears]—it's your squawking!"


"Go ding your diodes and get defunct Megatron. I’m not helping you do zilch."

—Cranky, gutsy Gears


"Megatron is behind this. I’d bet my titanium torsion bars on it."

—That's probably a safe bet, Optimus Prime


"I should be very angry at you Megatron. You are an evil son of a retrorat, but for some reason, I just can't get too upset."

—Cheery, nice Gears


"I should have destroyed you when I had the chance, but Megatron can't save you now!"
"Heheheh, I really hate to disappoint you Starscream, but you better look behind you!"
"Do you seriously expect me to fall for such a stupid trick?"

Starscream refuses to be distracted by Gears warning of an impending charge from Bumblebee.


"How can I help you, Megatron, heh heh, you rotten hunk of scrap?"

Gears, piling on the flattery.


"What did you do to Gears, you monster? You turned him...nice!"

Ironhide, at Gear's sudden change in personality.


"All right, now let's blast that Solar Needle and roll out."
"I suppose you want me to do that."
"Be my guest."

Optimus Prime and Gears, grumpy once again.

City of Steel[edit]

"I didn't join this outfit to be a dump truck!"

Long Haul, commenting on his alternate mode.


"I feel like I'm in some messy swamp, not under the biggest city in North America."

Ratchet, trudging through the sewers of New York.


"It sickens me to say it, Reflector, but this one time I have to hand it to Megatron. The place is finally starting to feel like home."

Starscream agrees with one of Megatron's plans, which heralds the coming of the apocalypse.


"I may not have a weapon, but I can still transform and roll!"

Optimus Prime, preparing to crush the battle taxis.


"O-hoo-hoo-hoo, here they come! Auto-Auto-Autobots!"

Mix-Mix-Mixmaster!


"Say 'uncle' or I'll shove your nose in your afterburner!"
"Uncle, UNCLE!"
"Gee, I didn't know Decepticons had uncles!"

Sideswipe lovingly deals with Starscream. He's obviously been practicing his jet judo.


"You'll never catch us, Megaklutz!"
"Megaklutz! You dare to insult me in my own command post?!"

Spike Witwicky daring to insult Megatron in his own command post.


"It will take more than your puny arm to stop Devastator!"
"Right. Which is why it's lucky the hand at the end of that arm... is holding a gun!"

Devastator reels as Optimus Prime points out the single flaw in the gestalt's otherwise brilliant tower-climbing plan.

Attack of the Autobots[edit]

"My warning diode is pulsating!"

Optimus Prime does his best to emulate Spider-Man.


"Hey, come back! You didn't finish your nickel-plated knuckle sandwich!"

Brawn worries about the Decepticons' dietary needs.


"Warning! Evil presence now infiltrating Autobot Headquarters!"
"Very good, Teletraan I! The personality destabilizer I placed inside your recharging chamber has converted your Autobot friends from sentimental fools, to my kind of mechanisms!"
"Autobots are noble. Your plan can never succeed."
"Oh, it can't, eh? Autobots! Obey my first command. Silence that annoying computer!"
"Optimus Prime, NO—!"

Teletraan I displays some pretty incredible capabilities as it debates with Megatron, right before Optimus shows the computer where to stick it


"Like, wow! Rock and roll with real rocks!"
"It's called an avalanche!"

Jazz and his sound system are a bit much for Sparkplug... not to mention a nearby cliff.


"Destroy, destroy, destroy! Let none stand against us!"

—Evil Optimus Prime (No, it's not Nemesis Prime or any other evil Primes you know.)


"First, drain evil. Second, recharge good."
"Let's hope it don't finish up with 'Third, bury Jazz'!"

Sparkplug and Jazz


Optimus: Well, there won't be any more trouble, thanks to you. And especially to you, Bumblebee.
Ratchet: Especially to him? I was the one who saved the satellite, and came up with the idea of firing those attitude exchangers!
Sparkplug: Oh, yeah? Well who helped you make 'em in the first place?
Ratchet: Why, you wouldn't know a micro-chip from a potato chip!

—Optimus Prime's thanks to Bumblebee starts a little round of glory-hogging.

Traitor[edit]

"I just love opening presents."

Skywarp as he breaks through the roof of a human research institute


"You fool! You'll destroy us all!"
"Destroy us all, oh brave Megatron? Perhaps it's time the Decepticons looked elsewhere for direction, to someone prepared to make command decisions!"

Megatron and Starscream argue over who is a better leader. Again.


"This time, you have dared too much, Starscream. You must pay the price for your insolence!"

Megatron threatens to terminate Starscream. Again.


"Try and remember which side you're on, Mirage."
"Keep your mind on the Decepticons, Cliffjumper."
"That's just what I'm doing!"

Optimus Prime reprimands Cliffjumper for his suspicions.


"An electrocell! Come to papa..."
"Not so fast, papa!"

Cliffjumper and Starscream have a moment.


"Release the electro-cells, Megatron. They don't belong to you."
"I possess them. Therefore I own them!"

Optimus Prime and Megatron discuss the finer points of legal ownership


"Uh-oh. Sounds like I'm not alone."
"You're not! And this is one of those times when you really need a friend."

Cliffjumper and Starscream's have another moment.


"You wouldn't cheat us. You need us to get rid of the Autobots. Maybe after that, you'd rob us blind. But not now!"

Bombshell after hearing Megatron's explanation of Mirage's trickery

The Immobilizer[edit]

"Give me the device now, Optimus Prime."
"Try and take it, Mega-turkey!"

Megatron and the oh-so-witty Trailbreaker


Optimus Prime: "You’re losing your warriors, Megatron."
Megatron: "Warriors are expendable! The most important thing is I get what I deserve! And I always do."
[The river unfreezes; the Decepticons fall in and are swept away]
Trailbreaker: "You deserved that, all right, Mega-jerk. Rust in peace!"

—Megatron makes the mistake of tempting fate.


"This is where we store our ammo. Course, uh, we'd rather not have any of this stuff around. But until the Decepticons change, or we pacify 'em once and for all..."
"Someone should pacify those Decepticons...and their underwater headquarters."

Ironhide finds that Carly is a girl after his own heart


"The show’s over. Back to work."

—A leering Megatron takes glee in Carly’s apparent drowning.

The Autobot Run[edit]

"Transform."
"No, Megatron. You can't mean to—"
"What's a test without a guinea pig-o-tron? Transform, I say!"

Megatron selects Starscream as the test subject for his latest device.


"Uh, probably just energy evaporation from all the speed, maybe... I hope..."

Bumblebee fails physics forever.


"If you're going to do what I think, Sunstreaker, you've got boom glitches in your brain garage."

Mirage's colorful terms for Transformer anatomy.


"Well, guys, what's next? I'm for anything except demolition derbyin'."

Jazz


"I can't change back to my normal, handsome self!"

—Modest and humble Sunstreaker


"I knew the racing bit was bad news, but would anyone listen to me? Oh, noooo!"
"Stifle it, Huffer, or I'll put my footio in your audio!!"

Huffer being an ass and Brawn looking to kick some.


"Ironic, isn't it, Autobots, that after so many valiant battles, you will meet your end in the crushing jaws of this device so lovingly fashioned by my Constructicons."

Megatron's concept of irony is off.


"Later, guys. It's been really great knowin' ya."

—Headed for the crushing device, Ironhide accepts his fate.


"Hey, what's that?"
"I'd call it a TARGET!"

Thundercracker and Starscream spotting Roller.


"I'm transforming! I see my true beauty emerging!"

Sunstreaker, vain as always.

Atlantis, Arise![edit]

"Are you sure humans do this for fun?"

Hound, after playing a game of football with the Dinobots


"No! That could ruin Wheeljack's function circuits!"
"So... what? Ruining Autobots is my life!"

Bumblebee and Starscream


"Autobots bite off more than they can chew, then send for Dinobots! Come, Snarl, Sludge. We go!"

Grimlock, responding to the SOS call by Wheeljack. Apparently he does not want Slag or Swoop.


"Mmm, we are here."

Grimlock is a master of subtle and astute observation


"Me Grimlock here again, Optimus Prime, to pull your diodes out of laser fire."

Grimlock is getting a little tired of rescuing Optimus Prime


"Okay, Grimlock. Time for you and the Dinobots to act prehistoric!"

Optimus Prime


"You don't frighten me, you mechanical throwbacks!"
"Good, Megatron! We love stupid enemies!"

Grimlock has no grasp of irony.

Day of the Machines[edit]

"Illegal access! Illegal access!"
"It certainly is."

TORQ III is reprogrammed by Megatron


"Good grief. More bad news. This isn’t one of our shining days."

Optimus Prime as TORQ's machines surround his troops.


"We help! ...Hmm. Always get Autobots out of messes they get into."

Grimlock laments at yet another Autobot bungle he is called upon to resolve. Forcefully.


"It's a safe bet those doors are locked."
"Fortunately, I have a delicate lock-picking technique."

Dr. Gates and Optimus Prime, right before Prime "delicately" blasts his way into TORQ's building.


"Come and get me you metal-headed dumb-dumb."
"That's one stupid Decepticon."

Skyfire and Hound accurately assess Frenzy's level of intelligence.


"What do you say, guys? Can you bash it down?"
"With a smile on our lip components!"

Spike and Hound discuss the finer points of Cybertronian facial structure.


"I'll take that transmitter, please."
"The transmitter is mine!"

Optimus Prime is always polite. Megatron, not so much.


"You took the word right out of my mouth. It was in there with my foot."

Dr. Paul Gates after he tells the Autobots that all machines are unreliable.

Enter the Nightbird[edit]

"Imagine, Autobots playing nursemaid to an earth robot. It's probably just a glorified wind-up toy."

—Look who's talking, Wheeljack.


Ratchet: Dr. Fujiyama's doohickey's under that drape!
Wheeljack: If it walks it probably needs a long extension cord.
Ratchet: Heh heh heh. I wonder if batteries are included? Heh, heh, heh.
Wheeljack: When they turn it on, it'll probably blow the lights!
Optimus: We're here to guard the robot, not make jokes at its expense.

—Wheeljack and Ratchet, masters of diplomacy


"Ah, why build a robot ninja, doctor? Isn't that rather dangerous?"

—The guy with the white mustache asks what we're all thinking.


"I bring you greetings, Optimus Prime...lethal greetings!"

Megatron. His writers don't get paid enough.


"I love warping minds for you, Megatron... love it!"

Bombshell, the spokesman for Grand Theft Auto.


"I'm open to suggestions... and you don't need to raise your hands before you speak."

—Shouldn't Optimus Prime have said something like "raise your finger components" instead?


"She's not so hot!"
"She's hot enough to replace you whenever I choose!"

Starscream and Megatron utter the words that launch a thousand fanfics.


"Yes, you're definitely on my replacement list, Starscream... Hahaha, she's everything I've always wanted!"

Megatron. Aw, all he wanted was some love.

A Prime Problem[edit]

"It's just such ignorance which forever relegates you to the ranks of underlings, Starscream!"

Megatron


"All the danger you can handle is already here, Floptimus Prime!"

Starscream comes up with a clever insult.


"I'm sorry there are only three of you. Clobbering less than four Decepticons at a time is boring."

Optimus Prime


"Laserbeak... you tin-foil turkey!"

Optimus Prime dishes out the trash talk like a pro.


Optimus Prime clone: Bumblebee, come over here. The computer's not responding to my input.... Bumblebee, I'm speaking to you.
Ironhide: You talking to me?
Optimus Prime clone: Of course.
Ironhide: But I'm not Bumblebee, I'm Ironhide, Prime.
Optimus Prime clone: I meant Ironhide, naturally.

—The fake Optimus Prime totally flubs Ironhide's name, even though Ironhide's the only other one there, and the Southern-fried lug still doesn't get it...


"I don't mind hitting the dirt, but I don't enjoy eating it!"

Gears


"No, DO NOT! ARGH, my magnificent creation, vaporized! With Prime's replica destroyed, we must escape, now!"

Megatron, not being at all melodramatic.


"Is it really you, Optimus Prime? I mean really?"
"Yes, Spike. This time I am definitely me. Or I. Myself. Oh, whoever I am. Put 'er there, partner."

—A cautious but hopeful Spike questions Optimus Prime, who doesn't do the best job of keeping a sentence together.

The Core[edit]

"Autobots, move out!"

Sunstreaker, thinking he outranks Jazz and Prowl.


"It's like shooting dynametal ducks in a beryllium barrel. And I mean dead ducks!"

Starscream wonders if they store beryllium baloney in beryllium barrels.


"Traitor!"

Starscream to Megatron. No, you read that right.


"I do this only for the benefit of my Decepticons. It grieves me that you may also profit."

Megatron, agreeing to ally with the Autobots and lying through his teeth (he's doing it to save his own chassis).


"What's the matter, Chip?"
"I guess I was hoping Devastator might join the Autobots for good, but that's probably just a dumb old dream."
"Hang on your dreams, Chip. The future is built on dreams. Hang on."

Optimus Prime gives Chip Chase valuable words to live by.

The Insecticon Syndrome[edit]

"Gigantic robot insects that eat trees? YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING!"

Jeff the Park Ranger's suspension of disbelief is ruined.


"The Insecticons have done well."
"Yes...perhaps they should lead us."
"You test my patience, Starscream."

Megatron and Starscream after the Insecticons defeat some Autobots.


"Why, if it isn't Megatron, and his merry mechanical men!"

Bombshell


"Oh boy, a robotoid turkey shoot!"

Inferno takes aim at Laserbeak and Buzzsaw.


"Power has made the Insecticons obnoxious."
"And invincible."

Starscream and Megatron


"What's the matter, Megatron? Weakling humans too tough for you, for you?"

Shrapnel to Megatron, after the latter has been shot by a human weapon.


"Ohhhh....that Nova Power Core is giving me heartburn...that is, if I have a heart."
"If you have a brain, you'll realize that we've got a battle to fight!"

Bombshell and Megatron


"Guys, you all right?"
"Just great...if you don't mind two tons of Inferno sitting on your head plates."
"Look, you get ten tons of boulders off my shoulder struts, and I'll get off your noggin."

Spike, Hound and Inferno


"No one gets into my cranial chamber!"
"Auugh, my cerebro-shell! My precious shell!"

Megatron and Bombshell


"We Insecticons, know how to get... it... together!!"

Bombshell delivers a cheesy line after reassembling Shrapnel.

Dinobot Island, part 1[edit]

"Hang in there, Bumblebee. Prepare for a daring rescue maneuver!"
"Can't he just save a guy without doing a commercial?"

Powerglide narrates his rescue of Bumblebee. He must want Victor Caroli's job.


"Beryllium baloney, Wheeljack. Once a dino-klutz, always a dino-klutz."

Huffer being both hungry and skeptical at the same time.


"What that is, Sludge?"
"Uh, Sludge not know. Maybe time to do our thing?"

Slag and Sludge.


"Very impressive, Wheeljack. But what about the other Dinobots?"

Optimus Prime, about to regret what he said.


"Slag, Sludge, go away! Me Grimlock demonstrating finesse. Whatever that mean."

Grimlock really needs a thesaurus. Get it? Thesaurus?


"Oh wow! I think I'll call it... Dinobot Island."

Spike, showing an incredible lack of creativity.


"What is this bird planning on hatching out of these eggs... battleships?"

—Yes, Spike. The pterosaur is planning on hatching tiny, human-sized battleships.


"Bye, Grimlock! Bye, guys! I'd write, but you can't read."

Spike Witwicky. He should be thankful that the Dinobots didn't take offense.


"Swoop! Do flying stuff!"
"...Slag! Do fire stuff!"
"...Snarl! Do tail stuff!"
"...Getting better... but still not more better enough."

Grimlock shows his mastery of both military tactics and grammar.

Dinobot Island, Part 2[edit]

"But draining those energies might upset the chronological balance of this island! It already drifts precariously in the sea of time."
"Scientific gobbledegook, Starscream! Do as I say."

Starscream and Megatron discuss technobabble.


"OORUBBA REEYO! RUMBUBUH RULLY!" [More unintelligible babbling and grunts]

The Barbarian on his mammoth, making a thought out and well articulated point.


"Remember those creatures are flesh and blood, not unfeeling machines like the Decepticons."

Optimus Prime placing a higher value on woolly mammoths than Decepticons.


"Why, you unwashed primitives! You could have fissured my finish!"

Sunstreaker blasts the barbarians for pounding on him with their weapons.


"We be wantin' your treasure, and the wenches too. Hahahahaha!"
"Aww, cool off, Long John!"

Pirate captain and Cliffjumper


"I don't care if the entire Earth explodes! We can always relocate."

Megatron isn't big on the neighborhood.


"If that stolen energy is taken from this area, this entire galaxy could crumble!"

Optimus Prime wonders where Megatron would relocate to then.


"Hey, Blitzwing! Tank you!"

Warpath attacks Blitzwing in a tank-versus-tank duel


"No! It is impossible! I saw you buried beneath the tar pits!"
"You wrong. And you ugly, too."

Megatron gets some comeuppance from Grimlock, of all mechs

The Master Builder[edit]

"Move over, blue skies. Here comes old Powerglide, king of the cloud chasers, sultan of the stratosphere, ace of the air."

Powerglide, king of self-esteem.


"Well, if he's not impressed, I'll... be depressed."

Grapple worries about whether Optimus Prime will agree on his proposal for a Solar Tower.


"Am I 'drooling' correctly?"
"The word is 'dribbling', Optimus!"

Optimus Prime and Spike play basketball.


Megatron: "Ahhh, my loyal Constructicons. You are loyal, aren't you? No! You're traitors! And you can't deny it."
Scrapper: "Megatron, y-y-you got it all wrong!"
Hook: "We're still working for you, and for the glory of the Decepticons."
Bonecrusher: "You see we eavesdropped on their plans."
Long Haul: "Plans to build a whopper solar tower!"
Scavenger: "That'd produce megawatts of energy."
Mixmaster: "Energy we can use to destroy the Autobots. Get it, Get it, heh-huh?"

— The Constructicons try to explain themselves to a furious Megatron.


Bonecrusher: We'll just help ourselves if you don't mind.
Long Haul: Or even if you do!
Construction foreman: Who me? M-mind? Why should I! hehe... he. [tears up his blueprints]

—The Constructicons rob a hapless building site.


"As soon as my Power Tower is finished, I must find a place to sign my name... in very large letters."

Grapple as the Solar Power Tower is approaching completion.


"Watch out Spike! I'm driving for a layoff!"
"It's called a layup, Prime! And watch out for Tracks!"

Optimus Prime gets basketball lessons from Spike.


"'Get this.' 'Bring that.' I thought I was finally gonna build somethin'!"

Long Haul after being told to bring another solar panel.


"Man, look at that! That's so tall, the top is in a different time zone than the bottom!"

—Observing the Solar Power Tower, Spike demonstrates that you don't need to understand geography if your best friends are giant robots.


"There'll be other towers to design and build, Grapple."
"It was magnificent... for a little while, wasn't it, Hoist?"
"Incredible. Absolutely incredible."

Hoist and Grapple, amid the ruins of the Solar Power Tower.

Auto-Berserk[edit]

"Someday I want to build something that doesn't get trashed!"

Grapple, digging out the ruins of his bunker.


"I'm fine! It's just an electroglitch that comes and goes. Comes and goes."

Red Alert demonstrates that he's definitely not fine.


"Why can't anyone see it?! Inferno wants my job!"

Red Alert spirals down into paranoia...


Inferno: You need immediate repairs!
Red Alert: Don't give me any of that. You just want to disassemble me for spare parts! Never! I won't let you!

— ...and hits bottom...


Hoist: Let me fix you!
Red Alert: Get back. I know just how you want to fix me!

— ...and then grabs a shovel.


"I've got morons on my team!"

Megatron having a life-changing realization.


Ramjet: Hey! My circuits electric blew just out!
Skywarp: Too mine! I'm blind flying!
Starscream: Away move, before collide we!

—Seekers the, by Smokescreen scrambled. They sound like Yoda.


Fire chief: Hey! That's my car! Put it back where ya found it!
Ironhide: Aw, sorry, chief; it looked like a friend of mine!
[transforms and drives off]
Fire chief: No two ways about it—I gotta take that vacation!

—Ironhide mistakes a real car for Red Alert.

Microbots[edit]

"Nice scenery."
"Yeah, let's waste it! I hate nice things."

Rumble and Scavenger


[Starscream shoots at a tree and misses]
"Good shot, Starscream!"
"Shut up or I'll blast you, punk!"
"Hey, hold that pose! I wanna remember you that way!"
[A snake wraps itself around Starscream's neck]
"Help! Get this thing off me!"
"I think it looks stunning on ya!"

Rumble and the Constructicons laugh at Starscream.


"He'll blow us away if we attack."
"He'll blow us away if we just stand here! Charge!"

Ratchet and Cliffjumper debate whether or not to attack the powered-up Megatron.


Brawn: Are you defective? How're we gonna do that?!
Perceptor: Simple! We use my trans-mat reduction beam to shrink down to microscopic size. Then, we crawl into Megatron, and rip the blasted heart out!
Optimus: What do you think of his intelligence now, Brawn?
Brawn: Ahhh, I reserve judgment.

—Brawn is just being pissy at this point.


Megatron: Decepticons: a toast. To the imminent destruction of the accursed Autobots!
[The Decepticons begin drinking Energon]
Starscream: Energy! We won't need to conserve it after tomorrow. We can bleed this planet dry!
Rumble: [hiccups] Boy, these are good. [hiccups] I needed to refuel. Energy!
Megatron: Energy! Energy!
Thundercracker: Hey! This stuff's the greatest! [passes out]
Megatron: Ah, those were the good ol' days, back on Cybertron...Didn' half to...sneak around in these...ugly Earth disguises.
[Powerglide arrives]
Powerglide: Time to cut the jets and glide! ...What in the world?
Megatron: Good ol' Cybertron! Land...of the metal moon!

—the Decepticons give us what is quite possibly the funniest scene in the series.


"How come it's so quiet?"
"Because he isn't engaging any of his main brain functions."
"Then I got a honey of an idea. Let's bash brain!"

Brawn and Perceptor in Megatron's cranial chamber


"What are they?"
"Brain impulses... evil brain impulses!"

Brawn and Perceptor discuss Decepticon neuroscience.

Megatron's Master Plan, Part 1[edit]

"Ah, the power of public relations."

Megatron, possibly the most honest politician in the world.


"Hold the last order, Prime...I wanna throw some...dark on the subject."

Tracks demonstrates his black beam gun.


"Another raid to blame on the Decepticons...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Starscream as Optimus Prime with the creepiest laugh ever...(an early Nemesis Prime?)


"SAVE THE HUMANS!"

Megatron. No, this isn't miscited.


"Hey, guys, look. Berger dropped one of his video cameras. Let's make some home movies!"

Dirge thinks about a career as a camera man. Follow your dreams, Dirge!


"I knew the humans would turn on us someday. They're such undependable creatures. Inferior lifeforms."
"Ahh, I'm not so sure, Sunstreaker. Some of my best friends are humans."

Sunstreaker and Bumblebee discuss the worthiness of humans while Spike, Sparkplug, and Chip are right there.

Megatron's Master Plan, Part 2[edit]

"Uh, Laserbeak wanna cracker?"

Male human teen who suspects Laserbeak wants to eat him


Ironhide: Are we going anywhere, Cosmos, or is this a tour of the stars?
Hound: Lay off him, Ironhide. He didn't cause our problems.
Ironhide: You're right! Maybe we oughta take it out on the one who got us into this mess!
Optimus Prime: I did what was necessary.

—Only Ironhide could get away with taking a shot at Prime like that.


"This city is under martial law...and I am the marshal!"

Megatron spells doom for the people of Central City...and makes a funny.


"Let us teach them a lesson in sorrow!"

Dirge as he and the Coneheads terrorize Central City during the Decepticon-imposed martial law


"It is over. I saw the Autobot ship, like a silver bullet, streaking toward the Sun, and it collided—collided with destiny! I saw the end. They died in a cosmic funeral pyre!"

Shawn Berger, destroying all hope


"You...pile of reject parts, I'll—"
"Reject parts? BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

Chip Chase as Thrust destroys Teletraan I and, perhaps, mocks the handicapped


"You are going to face justice, and may it be kinder to you than it was to us."

Optimus Prime, deciding not to have Berger sent on a collision course with the Sun

Desertion of the Dinobots, Part 1[edit]

Wheeljack: Dinobots, we got a job for you.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock no like orders.
Slag: Me Slag no like anything.
Wheeljack: We really need your help. Why won't you give us a hand?
Grimlock: Me don't know why not. So we help. This time.
Wheeljack: I've got to work on their personality circuits.

—Wheeljack learns that even the Dinobots don't know why they have a bad attitude.


"So much for your secret hideout, Megatron; even the moronic Dinobots found it!"

Starscream as the Dinobots attack the Decepticons' airbase.


"Decepticons, CHARGE!"

Megatron decides to try a new tactic when losing.


"I warned you guys there was trouble!"
"You always say there's trouble, Red."

Red Alert and Hoist


"It's the Aurobrroughs... THE AURRROOBBRRURURRUGHRRR!!!!"

Megatron after the effects of Cybertonium depletion busted his vocal circuits


"Hey, I'm stuck! I can't transform! [Ironhide kicks him; Jazz transforms] OW! Thanks...I think."

Jazz


Sparkplug: The Autobots are dying, and only you can save them.
Grimlock: No care about Autobots! Me Grimlock Dinobot!
Spike: If you don't help, the Decepticons will get all the Cybertonium they need.
Grimlock: Cybertonium? Cybertron! Okay, us do it!
Slag: No! Us no want to.
Sludge: What he say?
Grimlock: Me Grimlock. Me leader! Me say us do it!

—Grimlock's unassailable logic convince the Dinobots


"Stowaways?! Stand back!"
"WE NO STAND BACK!"

Shockwave and Grimlock, right before the Dinobots kick Shockwave's diodes.


"It's...too...risky! Ohh..."

Optimus Prime warns Spike and Carly of the danger of traveling to Cybertron alone, right before he nearly crushes them while passing out.


"I feel kinda stupid talking into my thumb."

Spike in agreement with the audience for the first and last time.

Desertion of the Dinobots, Part 2[edit]

"That was my car, not an Autobot. Decepticreep!"
"I don't think he cares, Carly."

Carly and Spike after Shockwave destroys Carly's car


"He won't blast one of his own robots."

Spike Witwicky, having learned nothing of the Decepticons in the past two years


"The more I see of this planet, the more I like it."
"The more I see of it, the more tired I get."

Carly as she marvels at Cybertron while Spike despairs over the huge stairs


Spike/Carly: WHOA!
Swoop: Why you make that noise?
Spike: Because we just left our stomachs back up there. Hoh-oh!"
Swoop: Me glad me not have stomach to leave.

—Spike and Carly get a tiny bit of motion sickness sympathy from Swoop.


"Metal of good old days not so good."

Swoop doesn't think much of the traps in the tunnels. He's going to think even less of the guys who built them.


"Almost forgot—me Swoop can transform!"

—In standard Dinobot fashion, Swoop hits on a solution for getting around with a damaged Pterodactyl wing.


"Millions of years ago, Cybertron was a planet of peace...until the Decepticons, lusting for power, began a terrible war. Not designed for combat, the Autobots were overwhelmed and subjugated by their evil opponents. While many Autobots fled Cybertron, a few valiant survivors devised new tactics and launched a counter-offensive on their arch-foes. And thus began a terrible series of wars. Many times, both sides have claimed victory, but this has been short-lived, for the Autobots have overthrown Decepticon tyrants, and, likewise, Decepticon treachery has toppled many a peaceful Autobot ruler. And to this day, the war rages on."

Computer activated and telling the history of the Autobot-Decepticon conflict to Carly, Spike and Swoop.


"No! Me hate you!"
"Well, I'm not nuts about you, either!"
"Me not do what you say!"
"You lunky bag of bolts, you can't do anything!"

Grimlock and Spike fake a fight within the Cybertonium Pit.


"Intruders!"

Shockwave displays a talent for understatement as he is ambushed by the Dinobots.


Slag: Even though Dinobots not like it...
Snarl: ...We take orders from you now...
Grimlock: ...Until next time me Grimlock no feel like it.

—A warm fuzzy moment, Dinobot style.

Blaster Blues[edit]

Optimus: My audio receptors! What is that noise?!
Hoist: Humans call it music.
Sparkplug: Not this human!
Jazz: Sounds all right to me.

—Sparkplug and the Autobots share their opinions on Blaster's choice in music.


"The Earth is but a speck on the arm of the universe."

Human scientist bolstering his race's importance in the cosmos.


"Blaster! Decrease volume! ... Blaster! SHUT UP!"

Optimus Prime in another fine example of subordinate management.


Ironhide: Where did that call originate?
Optimus: I don't know! All I can hear is that BLASTED BLASTER!

—Peter Cullen's annoyance at Blaster's loud music.


"Hey, talk about no place. I can't even get a bottom 40 station out here."

Blaster doesn't enjoy outer space duty inside Cosmos.


"It's Blaster!"
"Why that son of an 8-track."

Ratchet and Trailbreaker


"Release Autobots, Megatron!"
"Never!"
"Reeeelease them!"

Omega Supreme adds some "hands on" pressure to dealing with Megatron


"Looks like the big boy needs a little training!"

Astrotrain, proving the pun is indeed mightier than the sword. Unfortunately, it's not as mighty as Omega Supreme.


"Parting is such sweet sorrow."

Megatron, preparing to kill a defenseless Optimus Prime with a Shakespeare quote.

A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court[edit]

"Oohh! I just changed heads last week!"

—A ground-bound Ramjet strangely comes off second best after attempting to ram Warpath.


"Out of the way, Rumble! It could be dangerous. As your leader, I must take the risk. Anyway, I'm lower on energy than you!"

Starscream acting true to form


"Huh! Inferior construction, even for an Autobot. One good whack, it breaks right in two!"

Ramjet examining the "wreckage" of Sir Wulf and his horse.


"What's more important is that we have 1,451 years to go before we have to worry about the Autobots and that bungler Megatron!"

—Even trapped in the past, Starscream looks on the bright side, unaware his math is failing.


"Whatcha waiting for, Red Knight? Don't you wanna rumble with Rumble?"

—"Sir" Rumble prepares to joust.



"Make some idiot twenty feet tall, and he thinks he rules the Earth."

Beorht isn't too impressed by Starscream.


"Starscream! Lower the drawbridge! Ugh! I got your stupid potassium nitrate!"

Rumble, carrying a pot of bird droppings while also covered in same


"What's the matter? Aren't you glad to see us?"
"RRRRAGGGH!!"

Starscream asks a rather loaded question of Megatron.

The Golden Lagoon[edit]

"Thrust, my man, you are about to become number-one Decepticon."

Thrust, anticipating a promotion


"Personally, I need proof!"
"Personally, I don't care what you need!"

Megatron putting Starscream in his place... again.


"I will enjoy this."

Megatron shoots Starscream point-blank to see if the electrum makes him invulnerable.


"Sunstreaker, our weapons don't seem to have any effect on them."
"I'll blast a few big D's for ya, and you’ll see what a difference a pro makes."

Mirage and Sunstreaker


"Show no mercy!"
"Did we ever?"

Megatron and Starscream


"Results: disappointing."

Omega Supreme after three rounds of fire have no effect on the Decepticons.


Megatron: Victory over the Autobots is here."
Starscream: Cut the oration Megatron. We already heard it."
Skywarp: Yeah, let’s talk about victory after we’ve got it."

—Skywarp and Starscream sass back to Megatron now that they're invulnerable.


"We won..."

Beachcomber's bitter statement as he surveys the wreckage of the lagoon.

The God Gambit[edit]

"Here's the church. Here's the steeple. Open the doors and where are the people?!"

Starscream, playing the role of Wheelie


"Sarcasm, not appreciated."

Omega Supreme to Jazz's remark that he should stay put after the larger Autobot crash lands on a precarious cliff edge.


"Not the slightest sign of Cosmos, but there is a native in that tree shooting arrows at us."

Perceptor isn't that concerned about Talaria's attack


"A heretic. What more fitting end than to be sacrificed."

Astrotrain needs Talaria's blood in order to be appeased.


"Sorry to bust up your revival, but the Lady ain't got her heart in it."

Jazz while saving Talaria from being sacrificed.


"Mighty Astrotrain, what about me?!"
"Die, like the worm you are!"

Jero learns that he shouldn't have worshipped Astrotrain


"They started the chain reaction!"
"Don't ya just hate sore losers?"

Perceptor and Jazz are not amused by the Decepticons actions.

Make Tracks[edit]

"Look, I've been shot at, smashed up, and stolen three times tonight, and I'm in a most foul humor."

Tracks. Some days, it just doesn't pay to be an ambiguously gay car.


"That car... talks!"
"You've got a mind like a steel trap."

Raoul and Tracks


"First time in my life I try to steal a car, and I get one with a big mouth."

Raoul discovers karma.


"How do you do, Starscream? Not very well, I hope!"

Cosmos introduces himself with laser blasts.


"I have no desire to be carved up into Auto-sushi!"

Tracks


"They don't look all that smart to me. Ha! Their aim's not too good either."
"Maybe, but they've got us outnumbered. Fire!"

Blaster and Optimus Prime on the drones.


"Let us stomp out these cheap imitations!"

Tracks disapproves of knockoffs.


"I'll teach you to mess with the Chrysler Building!"

Tracks to the drones.


"Throw down your weapon, Prime!"

Megatron, about to experience his most humiliating defeat yet.


"Well, nobody seems to want you, so that makes you mine."

Raoul demonstrating a very lax understanding of property law as he steals Tracks.

Child's Play[edit]

"Skywarp, think fast!"

Soundwave playing catch with Skywarp...using a human.


"Strike three, Megatron. You're out."

Optimus Prime, umpire.

Soundwave: [groans]
Starscream: [sarcastic comment on Soundwave's quiet attitude] Big talker!

[The Decepticons return to Earth, landing in a lake]
Thrust: This isn't the type of welcome I had in mind.
Starscream: Who cares, as long as there aren't any green monsters around.
[Alligators converge and attack the Decepticons]
Starscream: AHHH! GET THESE THINGS OFF OF ME! AHHHH!

—Starscream just can't win.


Smokescreen: A rocket ship!
Inferno: A toy rocket ship.
Perceptor Well, anything's worth a try. With some modifications to the propulsion core—
Optimus: Perceptor, just do it.

—Perceptor exhausts Optimus Prime's patience.

Quest for Survival[edit]

"Robotic Insecticide?"

Skids makes his debut by asking what everyone else is thinking.


"Muahah. If the Insecticons had brains, they'd be dangerous!"

Megatron reflects on the Insecticons' gullibility.


"Hmm. Very interesting."
"What is it?"
"Hmm? What is what?"

Perceptor and Prowl, a typical conversation with a scientist.


"Who says plants aren't intelligent? The Morphobots are repelled by your music."

Optimus Prime, being a little ungrateful to Blaster, who is repelling the Morphobots


"Just don't stand there with your cockpits open, you fools!"

Megatron, being dragged along the ground by a Morphobot.


"The Insecticons! Those noble creatures have come to save us, despite the danger to their own lives."

Megatron, seriously overestimating his allies.


"Our friend Megatron is in trouble."
"If I wasn't so hungry, I'd stop to help him out. HAHAHAHAHAH!"

Kickback and Bombshell both showing how an 'ally' should act.


"You didn't tell us they'd bite back!"

Kickback, realizing that plants do bite back.


“Uh… ummm. Optimus Prime?”

“Yes, what is it Perceptor?”

“I could use some uh… help in the lab. And, incidentally I hope there’s another spaceship available, real soon.”

Perceptor, asks Optimus Prime for help.

The Secret of Omega Supreme[edit]

"Where are you going?"
"To talk to the only other Autobot who can fly into space."
"Omega Supreme! Sounds like a barrel of laughs."

Powerglide and Optimus Prime


"That asteroid may be new fuel for Megatron. The Constructicons are mining—"
"Constructicons?! Constructicons: Enemies. Enemies die!"
"This is a military mission, not a vendetta, Omega."
"Results: Same!"

Optimus Prime and Omega Supreme


"Quit squirming! This is for your own good! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!"

Devastator parrots Omega's words back at him while holding him down for the Robo-Smasher to reprogram him.


"Megatron failed. I lived...but changed. Since then, I feel only hate for the Constructicons."

Omega Supreme reveals the results of his betrayal to Prime.


"Revenge: soon. Anticipation: high. Vengeance: GOOD!"

Omega Supreme after being ordered to remove the Constructicons from the asteroid in orbit of the planet.


"Keep San Francisco clean—leave!"

Tracks to the monster.


"What—eh—if we all just split up—"
"Then he'd hunt us down one at a time."
"Then I say we unite!"

Hook, Scrapper and Bonecrusher debate how to deal with Omega Supreme.


"Relax, man. Remember, we're all one with the universe."
"We're about to become one with the pavement! Duck!"

Beachcomber and Tracks, as the creature is attacking.


"Perhaps someday, you'll see that there are more important things in life than revenge."
"Possibility: Growing."

Optimus Prime and Omega Supreme see a little hope for future therapy.

The Gambler[edit]

"Arrrgh! I can't even beat my own machine anymore, and I had it fixed so I could cheat!"

Bosch has a stroke of bad luck.


"The name is Smokescreen, and I never walk when I can drive."

Smokescreen


"Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight for the first time anywhere in the galaxies, you will witness the pugilistic spectacle of the millennium!"

Lord Gyconi talks up his gladiator show.


"Now, prepare to meet my friend, Mr. Ionic Displacer."

Astrotrain

Kremzeek![edit]

"Yes, Kremzeek! You will be my ultimate weapon against the Autobots."

Megatron displaying how desperate he was getting by that point.


"This isn't the time for jokes, Sparkplug!"
"What joke? I'm savin' ya!"

Optimus Prime and Sparkplug Witwicky


"Alert! Alert! Evil Martian flangoes have invaded supermarkets across the planet. They have come to steal Earth's ammonia."

Teletraan I's funniest line in the series.


"Choco rations down 2 grams! Doubleplusungood!"

Teletraan I's second funniest line in the series.


"Choo choo!"

Kremzeek upon seeing a train. Apparently, he can say something else.


"There's a creature made of pure energy... in there."
"You crazy?"

Optimus Prime and Dr. Sōji Yoshikawa, the latter of whom is as dubious of the episode's plot as the target audience.


"Yo, Prime! What do we do when we catch that weirdo?"
"We'll worry about that when we catch him!"
"You mean you don't have a plan?"
"Who's had time to think of a plan? Hang on!"

Blaster and Optimus Prime


"Oh, here comes that sinking feeling..."

--Optimus Prime on seeing a multitude of Kremzeeks

Sea Change[edit]

"Oh no...my paint job's ruined."

Cosmos sweating the small stuff before collapsing


"She kissed me! She kissed me!"

Seaspray on foreplay (Ha ha! Making cyborgs!)


"Ah, dream on, bubble-brain."

Bumblebee on Seaspray's love life


"Maybe that is all I am, a bunch of transistors and bolts, but I don't believe it! My heart may look like an energon pump but that doesn't mean it can't feel."

Seaspray


"Transform, you sponge, and get us out of here!"

Megatron destroys Astrotrain's self-esteem with what appears to be a sea-related insult. Mercy.

Triple Takeover[edit]

"No planet ever lost its orbit underestimating the stupidity of Starscream."

Astrotrain


"Coach, it's a tank! What do I do?"
"GIVE HIM THE BALL!"

—A hapless football player and his coach meet Blitzwing.


"Tell me what's on your mind, or I'll splatter it on the wall and see for myself!"

Blitzwing to the football coach his second-in-command.


"Scrapper calling Blitzwing. What is the point of this highway maze you ordered us to build?"
"It's a zone defense, you ignorant fool!"

Blitzwing explains the perfectly obvious to Scrapper


"Scrapper, how big is our zone defense?"
"Can't tell. All the others are lost in it! All I know is, it's big!"

—Decepticon "leader" Blitzwing and Scrapper


"You led me into this trap!!"
"I was tricked! The Triple Changers! They told me it was a power station!"
"You are either lying, or you're stupid!"
"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"

Megatron and Starscream as the latter attempts to blame the Triple Changers for the takeover.

Somwhow I got the feeling that didn't help you very much, Starscream

"Tell you what, guys, why don't you go build a bridge...and jump off it!"
"Constructicons... transform into Devastator!"
"Hey! No offense, big guy!"

Blitzwing refuses Scrapper's bargain of a joint leadership of the Decepticons...very unwise move.


"Don't waste your time, Megatron. Incinerating you is of no interest to me. I'm looking for the leaders of the Decepticons."
"I am the Decepticon leader!"
"You and Starscream are just a nuisance. A couple of metallic mosquitoes."
"Mosquitoes?! Then feel my BITE!"

Optimus Prime brilliantly manipulates Megatron.


"Astrotrain couldn't lead rats to a garbage can." (Other Decepticons snicker)

—Astrotrain gets no respect from Thrust.


Thundercracker: I say that Megatron will prevail!
Thrust: Three energon cubes says you're wrong!
Thundercracker: Make it four!
Ramjet: My money is on Devastator.

—Who becomes new leader of the Decepticons? PLACE BETS NOW!


"Get this straight: I am Decepticon Leader. YOU are recyclable!"
"Well put, Megatron!"

Megatron disses Blitzwing and Astrotrain, while Starscream kisses up.


"Megatron is a wimp!"
"So is Starscream!"
"Yes, but I'm fast!"

Starscream decides discretion is the better part of cowardice after Devastator defeats Megatron.


"The Decepticon cause supersedes personal vengeance. But never forget that I, Megatron, will always be leader of the Decepticons!"

Megatron lays down the law, and somewhere, Raksha is swooning.


Ironhide: "I guess Prime was right. Megatron took care of the Decepticons for us."
Prowl: "Yeah, but there is only one great leader in the universe. Have a seat, boss."
Optimus Prime: "Thrones are for Decepticons. Besides, I'd rather roll."

—Optimus declines to sit on a throne made of his own soldiers.

Prime Target[edit]

"She's a lovely specimen, Lord Chumley, but, there's a frightful international row brewing over it."
"Ahhh. These things blow over... Remember the Boer War?"
"Painfully, sir."
"Oh, yes, well. Everybody else has forgotten it."

Dinsmoore and Chumley are older'n hell, apparently.


News Announcer: "We interrupt 'As the Kitchen Sinks' for this special news bulletin."
Jazz, Blaster, Beachcomber and Grapple in unison: "Awwwwwwwww..."

—The Autobots do not like to miss their soaps.


"Amazing. A booby trap that actually captures boobies."

Optimus Prime says "boobies".


"Bah! Impenetrable! Blitzwing, how do you get into these messes?!"

Astrotrain vainly tries to free Blitzwing


"Decepticons! Trust them to spoil the hunt."
"Yes, sir. Just like the Humane Society, in a way."

Chumley and Dinsmoore


Chumley: I say, old chaps. If I free you, will you fight Optimus Prime?
Astrotrain: Trust us!
Chumley: There he is, lads! Ha ha! Give him a good thrashing!
[Astrotrain immediately tries to stomp Chumley]
Astrotrain: See how you like being hunted!
Chumley: But—you said—
Blitzwing: Never trust Decepticons, flesh creature!

—Chumley gets a lesson in Decepticon ethics.

Auto-Bop[edit]

"That's what I call a riveting experience!"
"I don't know why I hang out with you, man."

Tracks makes a terrible pun after being shot at by a guy with a rivet gun, and Raoul calls him out on it.


"Foo on this jive! My main machine's in trouble!"

Raoul


"I've been waiting a long time for this, you poor excuse for a sound system."
"All talk...no shock."

Blaster and Soundwave, right as their sonic duel begins.


"Yo, the dude's gone crazy!"
"Yeah... like a fox!"

Poplock and Tracks.


"Heeheeheehaahaahaahaahaahaahaaaaa...."

Soundwave, as he momentarily gets the upper hand in the sonic duel between himself and Blaster. This is one of the few times in the series that Soundwave is heard actually laughing, and coming from him in that quiet, metallic monotone of his, and in this context, it is actually kinda scary.


"I'd say your nightclub just went out of style."

Blaster to Soundwave, after he won the sonic duel.

The Search for Alpha Trion[edit]

"Female Autobots? I thought they were extinct."

Shockwave obviously hasn't kept up to date on Cybertron's Discovery Channel.


"Such noble nonsense."

Shockwave disses Chromia and gives Megatron material to rip off.


"Elita One knows no fear!"

Elita One need not worry about Man-Thing, then.


"Optimus Prime, something rather exciting has been discovered on Cybertron. I thought you might like to know about it."

Megatron calls to say he's discovered girls.


"Please, let him go."
"Very well, my dear...let him go...into the acid!"

Elita One's plea to Starscream to free Optimus Prime doesn't have the expected result.


"How quaint! The girls have come to rescue their boyfriends!"

—Jealous, Starscream?


"Alpha Trion...I never expected to see you again."

Optimus Prime doesn't have much faith in his deadbeat dad.

The Girl Who Loved Powerglide[edit]

"Oh wow! He's tall, he's handsome, he's shiny. And he can fly!"

Astoria comments on Powerglide


"I guess me and machines don't get along too well."
"I can personally attest to that."

-Astoria and Powerglide


"Why does everything always happen to me?"

Powerglide laments his lot in life.


"Get back here! I'm not done!"
"Is my wing fixed? Can I fly?"
"Well, yes, but—"
"Then you're done."

-Ratchet has a most unwilling patient in Powerglide


"You got any burgers in this joint?"
"Silence!"
"You guys are, like, the worst hosts!"

Astoria and Soundwave


"Hey! Like, don't be so hostile, okay?"
"Tell me what you know!"
"All I know is that you're a complete and total, utter—"
"SILENCE!"

-Astoria and Megatron


"Subject's mind completely empty."

—Why in God's name didn't Soundwave just scan her mind himself?


"The psycho-probe will put 90,000 volts through your brain. It is an excruciating experience. Will you tell me what you know??"
"All this waiting around, that's what's excruciating. I mean, I'm starving, for cryin' out loud! When are you guys gonna feed me? That's what I wanna know. Your dumb machine, like, doesn't even work, and—"
"Enough!"

Megatron wants Astoria just to shut up


"Energize the force fields!"
"What force fields?!"

Megatron and Soundwave


"Attention, Decepticons, this is Megatron speaking. Your new orders are...er...clean up this mess!"

Megatron broadcasts to the Decepticons.


"Ha, wow! Who would've believed it! Powerglide shot down by Cupid!"

Sparkplug teases Powerglide after he is kissed by Astoria.

Hoist Goes Hollywood[edit]

"Ready for my big scene, Mr. Director."
"Huh? Oh, yeah, the robot. Er...okay, Moist, er...pick up a donut from the catering truck and relax until I call for ya."
"Donut?"

Hoist gets the brush-off from the Major Pictures director.


"The star has arrived!"

Sunstreaker, humble as ever


"Oh, no. The Autobots have gone movie-mad.”

Spike


"Who would want to steal scenes from this picture?"

Spike Witwicky, movie critic


"I feel like a fool!"
"Do you wanna quit?"
"No, but I still feel like a fool!"

Tracks and Sunstreaker aren't enjoying their movie careers.


"He is...no match for the alien robots...I-I mean, the evil alien robots."

Warpath shows his acting chops.

The Key to Vector Sigma, Part 1[edit]

"So much for your security, Prowl."

Smokescreen, as the Decepticons attack


"I knew I'd never make it."

Dirge, accepting his lot in life.


"No, Megatron, you'll have to blow us all up, and frankly, I don't think you have the guts."

Optimus Prime goads Megatron to shoot at the super fuel.


"Annnnd Mueller takes it! What in the world?"
"You mean Rumble takes it!"

Race track announcer and Rumble, who proceeds quite literally to take it


"Incredible! Not even the Autobots can do that kind of stunt driving."
"Stunt driving...yes! Behold—the Stunticons!"

Rumble gives Megatron an inspiration.


"This can't be the way those Deceptigoons came."
"On the contrary, it definitely is."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because who else would have sent them to kill us?"

Ratchet and Alpha Trion as the Centurion droids approach


"I am Vector Sigma. Before Cybertron was, I was! Who reactivates me?"

Vector Sigma


Megatron: I am Megatron, your leader. Declare yourselves to me.
Motormaster: I am Motormaster. I swear loyalty to you!
Dead End: I am Dead End. I guess I'll have to do what you say.
Breakdown: I'm... I'm Breakdown. I'll obey too.
Drag Strip: I am Drag Strip. I live to obey!
Wildrider: I'm Wildrider! And I wanna bust something up!

—The Stunticons speak their first words.


"Big and stupid."

Blaster on the Centurion droids who, in their zealousness, ran off a cliff to chase the maintenance robots.

The Key to Vector Sigma, Part 2[edit]

"He gave himself up just so we could have some jets? That's nuts!"
"No. One Autobot gave his life so that six could be born. He made a choice...the kind of choice I hope they'll be able to make when the time's right."

Blaster and Optimus Prime on the sacrifice of Alpha Trion to create the Aerialbots. Prime approves of the kamikaze concept, apparently.


"And we're sworn to protect these bird brains?"

Slingshot, on humans


"Somebody ought to revoke those dudes' driver licenses."
"Those guys are out of their cotton picking heads!"

Blaster and Ironhide after their first encounter with the Stunticons.


"He's afraid of heights, can you believe it? And you call yourself a jet."

Slingshot figures out Silverbolt's phobia


"The robot ran out of power ... but the human is still working! Where does he get his energy?"
"From his wellspring of concern for an Autobot. Are you getting the point yet? We owe the Autobots our liiivvees!"

-Silverbolt sets Fireflight straight about a couple of things.


"Aerialbots, show 'em what you've got!"
"NO! It can't be!"
"Surprise, Megatron! Meet Superion!"

Optimus Prime introduces the shocked Megatron to the first Autobot combiner.


"So long, cruel world!"

Silverbolt after destroying the Key to Vector Sigma

Aerial Assault[edit]

"About time too. That high altitude was making me dizzy."

–Thankful for a reason to land, Silverbolt reveals he's still afraid of heights.


"On my way to a turkey shoot. Isn’t that right, turkeys?"

Blast Off


"Megatron, you promised me world domination!”
"You’ll be lucky if I let you live, fool!"

Ali pushes his luck with Megatron


"Hey. Did you just call me a... junker?"
"Don't worry, Slingshot. No matter what you're made of, you'll always be a Rolls Royce to me!"

Slingshot and Jumal

War Dawn[edit]

"There's only one way to get those Aerialbots off our tails and that's to dump the chumps.”

Starscream right before he dumps the chumps, er, humans.


"Are those guys crazy?"
"Crazy, or even dumber than I suspected."

Skywarp and Starscream talking about the Aerialbots who stopped fighting and want to "talk" to the Seekers.


Starscream: Okay buddies, we'll talk. What do you want to know?
Slingshot: I want to know why Optimus Prime thinks you're evil.
Starscream: That old rust bucket doesn't know a thing about Decepticons. Stick with me. I'll teach you some things about the Decepticons, all right.
Silverbolt: I don't believe this!

Starscream prepares to school the Aerialbots.


"Those little twerps. They're tryin' to switch sides!"

Ironhide comments on the dubious loyalty of the Aerialbots.


"A warrior doesn't need a head, just a good strong body."

Megatron, commenting on the damaged Guardian robot that is about to be reprogrammed to serve the Decepticons.


"You may not recognize him. He is no longer Orion Pax. He is the first of our new defenders... Optimus Prime."
"I was wrong, my friends. I admired Megatron merely because he was powerful. I failed to see how he used that power."

Alpha Trion introducing Optimus Prime.


Optimus Prime: You've caused enough destruction for one day, Megatron!
Megatron: I haven't even started!
[Megatron fires several shots at Optimus Prime, all of which bounce off harmlessly]
Megatron: [shocked] You, who are you?!"
Optimus Prime: Your worst nightmare!

—Megatron and Optimus Prime confront each other for the first time.


"It all began about nine million years ago..."
"Oh, great! It's gonna be one of those long stories!"

Optimus Prime and Ratchet, after the latter demands to know what's going on.

Trans-Europe Express[edit]

[Megatron and Soundwave smash their way into the sage's home]
Abdul Ben Faisal: So, you've come at last.
Megatron: You have five seconds to tell me the location of—
Abdul Ben Faisal: The Pearl of Bahoudin? I know.
Megatron: If you know so much, then you know it would be unwise to refuse me.
Abdul Ben Faisal: You have caused enough damage in Istanbul for one day. The legends say the Pearl is buried in the Galata Valley, near the Alibey River.
Megatron: You have been wise to oblige me.
Abdul Ben Faisal: Perhaps. But...once you have dug up the Pearl, you may not find it so easy to put back...

—Warning duly noted, Abdul. And IGNORED.


"There's only one charity I care about: ME! I want that million bucks!"

Auggie Cahnay, born to win


[Bumblebee yanks Auggie right out of his fancy car and holds him aloft.]
Bumblebee: Listen, you! Didn't anybody ever tell you about fair play?
Auggie Cahnay: "I'm gonna win that million bucks!
Bluestreak: Keep driving like that, and you won't live long enough to win it. Not that that would be any great tragedy, but some decent people might get hurt!
[Bumblebee drops Auggie onto the ground.]
Auggie Cahnay: I got a race to win!
[Auggie jumps into his car and drives off.]
Bumblebee: What a creep.

—Bumblebee and Bluestreak totally road-rage the asshole Auggie Cahnay.


"So help me, if one more of those metal maniacs gets in my way..." [Motormaster blocks Auggie's way, and Dead End pulls the human out of his car.] "That does it, and I'm not takin' it anymore!"
"That's right, 'cause we're taking your car."

Auggie Cahnay is car-jacked by Dead End.

Cosmic Rust[edit]

"Starscream! Keep your grubby fingers off that. It could be a booby trap!"
"What trap? This is a prehistoric communication device, you uneducated dolt!"

Megatron and Starscream, doing what they do best.


"Where there's a curse on the door, there's treasure on the other side."

Starscream, who has never seen an Indiana Jones movie.


"If that's a lightning bug, I'd sure hate to meet up with a dragonfly."

Astrotrain hates big bugs (nearly his size) and he cannot lie.


"Unfortunately, the operation is successful."

Starscream bemoans removing an infected meteor fragment from Megatron.


"It's some weird kind of heat ray—and it works!"

Air Raid expresses not-unjustified amazement at the efficiency of the Decepticons' weapon-of-the-day.


"Somebody's gotta get us back to Cybertron, Prime. I never thought the end would come like this."

Bumblebee, dying from Cosmic Rust and apparently wanting to destroy his home planet.


"The Cosmic Rust has infiltrated your logic circuits."
"Maybe so, but I'll bet it hasn't affected my aim."

Megatron and Optimus Prime

Starscream's Brigade[edit]

"NOBODY TURNS HIS BACK ON ME!"

Starscream, as Megatron turns his back on him.

"I have with me two members of the Autobot team: Jazz and Cliffjump."
"That's 'Cliffjumper'."

Marty Minkler and Cliffjumper.

"I see incompetence breeds even more incompetence. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Megatron to Starscream, after the latter fails in his attempt to destroy the Decepticon leader.

"Now, Megatron: who is the new Decepticon leader?"
"Enough! Uhm...you are."
"I can't hear you!"
"You are!"
"I am now the leader of all Decepticons!"

Megatron in the grip of Bruticus (literally), and Starscream.

Motormaster: Megatron's in trouble.
Dead End: Who cares?
Wildrider: It looks like Starscream's defeated him.
Dead End: So?
Motormaster: So, you think Starscream's going to stop here?
Dead End: Good point. He never knows when to quit.
Motormaster: Stunticons, unite to form Menasor!

—The Stunticons survey Starscream's victory.

"Bruticus?"
"No, Starscream, not Bruticus. It's Megatron—your leader!"
"Megatron, don't, please!"
"This time, it really is 'goodbye', Starscream! Astrotrain, get him and his giant ally off this planet! They are banished from Earth...forever!"
"You'll regret that you did not destroy me, Megatron! I shall have my revenge!"

Starscream and Megatron after the Decepticon leader survives Starscream's latest mutiny.

The Revenge of Bruticus[edit]

"I can't stand it! I can't stand it! This is a cosmic prison!"
"Shaddup!" [blasts him]

Starscream's mewling is too much for Brawl to take.


"Look, Perceptor, a shooting star!"
"Of course that's not really a shooting star. It's really a meteorite entering Earth's athmosphere."
"I know. I'd hate to imagine a real star shooting into the Earth."
"Well, the chances of this planet colliding with a real star are remote."
"I'd hope so. It would mean the end of everything!"

Spike being taught about shooting stars by Perceptor, only for...


"I can direct the movement of planet Earth and send it on a direct course into the Sun."

—... Onslaught to take the idea.


"Come in, MegaBUM!"

Starscream being a dick as he contacts Megatron from Cybertron.


"Ramjet, if this Autobot quack does anything suspicious, shatter his lenses... from the inside."

Megatron delivers an indirect warning to Perceptor as the latter takes components from him and Optimus Prime to repair the Space Bridge.


"It was the Combaticons. They locked us in here and forced me to threaten you, Megatron!"
"He is lying!"

Shockwave snitches on Starscream.


"Not until you relinquish control over the Decepticons."
"Don't be a fool."
"Then let the Earth burn!"

Starscream tries to blackmail Megatron.


"They're gangin' up on us!"
"Well, let's gang up on them!"
"Combaticons, transform and become Bruticus!"

Brawl, Vortex and Onslaught as the Decepticons and Autobots surround them.


"Bruticus hates Cybertron! Bruticus hates you all!"

Bruticus goes emo on the Autobots and Decepticons that have come to destroy him.


"I hope Starscream was telling the truth."

Optimus Prime hopes for a miracle as he takes down Bruticus.

Masquerade[edit]

"You're a fool Megatron. You can't trust those reckless Stunticons with an important mission!" |-Starscream

"A near miss deserves a couple o' near-missiles!"

Inferno


"I'll probably heat myself in the morning, but..."

Inferno before he douses the flames on the Stunticon Breakdown


"Blam! Boom! Pow! I'll make that hot rod even hotter. HA HA HA!"

Warpath firing on the Stunticons Dead End and Drag Strip


"Well, look who's here! The old King of the Road! When I'm finished with ya, you'll be King of the Junkyard!"

Motormaster taunting Optimus Prime into a game of chicken


"You did it! You did it, Optimus! You stuffed that loudmouth once and for all."
"I...hope so, Spike, because I'd hate to go through that again."

Spike congratulates a shaken Optimus as he recovers from a head-on collision with Motormaster.


[The Autobots are towing the defeated Stunticons to the Ark]
Wheeljack: Here they come.
Ratchet: I won't bother asking who won.
Breakdown: (taking note of the Autobots looking at them) They're gawking at us! How mortifrying!
Dead End: The word, Breakdown, is mortiFYing, my sentiment exactly.
Motormaster: I'm in no mood for your big words, Dead End.
Ironhide: For you, Motormouth, this IS a dead end.

—Motormaster complains about Dead End's SAT-level vocabulary


"Man, Optimus. You're a dead ringer for Motormaster."
"Did you have to say dead ringer, Spike?"

Spike Witwicky's vocabulary causes Optimus Prime to wince.


"All right, then...ah...Stunticons, let's roll for it. "

Optimus Prime disguises as Motormaster.


"Everybody out on bad behavior!"

Breakdown after freeing himself and taking out Inferno, Grapple, and Hoist.


"Imagine my turning that ray on the Autobots' headquarters. Perhaps when it's gone, someone will put up a memorial parking lot. Mwahaha!"

Megatron


"Machine appears unstable. Suggest abandoning it."
"Suggestion noted—and ignored!"

Soundwave warns Megatron, for all the good it does.

B.O.T.[edit]

"Call sanitation. There's junk all over the street!"

Defensor, leaving his mess for the humans to clean up. He's humanity's defender, not their maid.


"Megatron, I-I-I couldn't find Brawl's personality component! I didn't think it would matter…"

Swindle's high opinion of his teammate.


"Here, munch a little lead!"

Ironhide just before spraying oil (Or possibly acid, as it makes Ironhide fall through the floor. I don't know, whatever it was, it wasn't lead) at B.O.T.


"This is so degrading."

Gears on being beaten by Brawl-B.O.T. Or he was talking about the episode itself.


"We should've just taken the 'F' in Science."

Martin


"If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll melt you down for scrap tutonium!"

Megatron threatens Swindle with gibberish

Season 3[edit]

Five Faces of Darkness, Part 1[edit]

Cyclonus: Once Decepticons nearly held the quadrant through terror. Now we scrap like slaargs over a few energon cubes. Is this how you honour the memory of Galvatron?! Is this the fate of the mighty Decepticon Empire?!
Astrotrain: In the days of Megatron, it was not like this.
Cyclonus: You mean Galvatron.
Cyclonus and the Sweeps: Hail Galvatron! Hail Galvatron! Hail Galvatron!
Astrotrain: [Muttering to Menasor] Well, they were the same guy.

Rodimus Prime: This planet is quarantined. Nobody comes, nobody goes until we find Kup, Spike and Magnus.
[A spaceship escapes]
Springer: So much for quarantine. I need a ship!
Arcee: And you’ll need a gunner!
[They both rush off, leaving Rodimus]
Rodimus Prime: Why’d I have to be the chosen one?

Drag Strip: These guys better have some energon for us.
Dead End: Or what?
Drag Strip: Or ... Well, I'll think of somethin'.

Dead End: If we surrender our energon, we're doomed.
Breakdown: If we don't, we're doomed, too.
Dead End: Face it. We're doomed.
Dead End is being as optimistic as ever.

Five Faces of Darkness, Part 2[edit]

Quintesson 1: You are the Autobot Kup. You are Cybertron's chief of security.
Kup: Naw, my name's Teaspoon! And I'm Cybertron's chief dishwasher.
Quintesson 2: Zero percent probability of truth. Identification positive.
Quintesson 1: Tell us the status of Cybertron's defenses.
Kup: Total shambles after the last war. Three kids and a dog could take the planet.
Quintesson 2: Four percent probability of truth. Defenses at optimum levels. Direct assault not viable.

Ultra Magnus: Where are you taking us?
Quintesson: To your judgement.
Kup: Right. We're gonna get a fair trial, and then they're gonna kill us.

Spike: Makes you wish for the good old days, doesn't it? Y'know, before the... fighting... broke out? Bears versus the Luna Colony? It was fourth quarter, fourth down, thirty yards to go, you remember that play?
Ultra Magnus: Nooo...
Spike: How 'bout you, Kup?
Kup: Nope. But in a jam like that, all you can do is... rush 'em and pray!

"Pay us no mind. We just...like to watch.

—The Quintessons creepily enjoy Sharkticons attacking Ultra Magnus, Kup and Spike.


Galvatron: Who disturbs my plasma bath?
Cyclonus: Mighty Galvatron, we have come to deliver you from—

Galvatron: My empire of ash?!
[Galvatron hits Cyclonus on the head.]
Galvatron: My bastion of brimstone?! Rih!
[Galvatron hits Cyclonus on the head. Again.]
Galvatron: My kingdom of desolation?! Nnah!
[Galvatron hits Cyclonus on the head yet again, and then punches him into the plasma pool.]
Galvatron: Did I ask you for deliverance? Nnah! DID I?!
[Galvatron kicks Cyclonus, who attempts to get out, back into the plasma pool. Then he proceeds to blow up a rock in the pool.]
Galvatron: Hahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahaha! Ah, Cyclonus! How wonderful to see you again!
Ultra Magnus: An asteroid?
Kup: Yeah. So? I've seen thousands of 'em.
Ultra Magnus: About to land on your head?
Kup: I gotta admit that's new.

Five Faces of Darkness, Part 3[edit]

Sweep 1: This is blowing out my audio sensors.
Sweep 2: It's torture!
Galvatron: Hahah, no, no! It's music. The symphony of destruction, and the anthem of agony!

Cyclonus: Bravo, Galvatron. The Autobots' destruction is assured.
Galvatron: Assured is not enough. I told you I want their heads, Cyclonus!
[moments later]
Cyclonus: Mighty Galvatron... where are the Autobots' heads?!
Galvatron: [whacks him] What does it matter? Their destruction is assured!

Quintesson: We have not come to kill you. We have come to offer you a proposition.
Dead End: Uh—Swindle! I think this is your department.
Swindle: First, see if we can trust 'em. Taste one of the energon cubes.

Quinesson: Mark this moment well. For when the Decepticons eliminate the Autobots, they take the first step to their own destruction as well."


Five Faces of Darkness, Part 4[edit]

Galvatron: Now, Decepticons, learn the price of your disloyalty! Attack!
Cyclonus: Attack whom?
[Galvatron shoots Cyclonus]
Galvatron: EVERYONE!

Wreck-Gar: Bulletin: You are in danger of being canceled or losing your time slot.
Ultra Magnus: What's he talking about?
Rodimus Prime: We're gonna get killed.

Five Faces of Darkness, Part 5[edit]

Rodimus Prime:We Transformers have looked into the face of our creators...and seen the face of an enemy."

The Killing Jar[edit]

Cyclonus: Galvatron! Why would you attack me, your most loyal soldier?"

Chaos[edit]

Kup: This could be the galaxy-busting case I've been waiting to sink my teeth into.

Wheelie: Secret-keepers always weepers! Tell a friend or heads will bend!

Dark Awakening[edit]

"Great. What'll Daniel and I do when the air runs out?"
"Basically you'll have two choices: suffocate, or smother."

—As Spike wonders about the limited oxygen in the Autobot life pod, Rodimus Prime takes "deadpan" to a whole new level.


"Decepticons! Leave this place... or die!"

—The half-dead corpse of Optimus Prime confronts the Decepticons.


"Quintessons! ME GRIMLOCK THUMP QUINTESSONS FLAT INTO GROUND!"

Grimlock mad. Grimlock want smash.


Arcee: Sludge! Snarl! Oh, are we glad to see you.
Sludge: Me Sludge not glad to see you.
Snarl: You all dead! Rarrr!
Sludge: ...Maybe we dead.

—Arcee freaks out the Dinobots.


Kup: Where is everybody?
Sludge: All go smash Quintessons.
Ultra Magnus: Quintessons? What do Quintessons have to do with any of this?
Snarl: They kill you! Optimus Prime say so! ...Uh-oh. Something not right.

—The Dinobots start to comprehend that all is not well.


"Not a game! ...Matrix makes me too strong!"
"Now there's a unique complaint!"

Optimus Prime wails on Hot Rod, who takes it in stride


"Monsters, they turned me into a weapon to destroy the very ones I love. But you will save them Rodimus Prime"

Optimus Prime hands over the Matrix.


"Til all are one|Until all are one."

Optimus Prime's last words. Or not.

Forever Is a Long Time Coming[edit]

"So why'd ya-w-why'd ya want us along? This ain't-this ain't our gig-k-kinda gig!"

Ramhorn has a problem with scientific expeditions...and speaking coherently.


"How come they made you Aerialbot leader, Silverbolt? You've got no sense of adventure!"
"Exactly."

Air Raid gets put in his place by Silverbolt.


"What in the name of Alpha Trion?!"

Rodimus Prime, as A-3 comes through the time portal. See what they did there?


"Ohhhh! I don't know where we are but wherever it is it's somewhere but somewhere else would definitely be a better place to be!"

Blurr isn't too fond of ancient Cybertron.


Superion: I...have...failed you Rodimus...it is...finished.
A-3: No...Superion! ('transforming' into Alpha Trion) You must live...so that I may be born!
Superion: Alpha...Trion?
A-3: A...3...


Wreck-Gar: Phew. One to five rodents agree exceptional headache number one is a mad dog guardian.
Blaster: Right on, but we still gotta lure 'em away from the walls so Beta and the rebels can attack.
Blurr: Yeah, that's what we said we'd do, and I always do what I say I'll do, because I have to, so I'd better do it, because if we say we do and then we don't—
[Ramhorn roars and charges the Dark Guardians]
Rewind: Methinks the die has been cast.

—The Autobots discuss strategy as Ramhorn gets bored.


"You will now put down your arms and return to work, or the Dark Guardians will incinerate you where you stand. Please decide quickly."

—An ever-polite Quintesson gives the Autobots a simple choice.

Starscream's Ghost[edit]

"Ehh, I'd probably be a jerk too if I was made of junk."

Octane, apparently having forgotten that he is a jerk.


"Take THAT, you overgrown tin can, and that, and THAT, and—I didn't WANT this job, I HAD to take it! I've got a wife and kids! I HAVE to deactivate you! Look, a guy's got to make a living, don't you understand?!"

Skuxxoid, easy lizard, we don't want to hear your life story!


Scourge: You! Go down that shaft!
Whining Sweep: How come I gotta do the dirty work?
Scourge: You! See if the traitor is hiding down there!
Cowardly Sweep: No way! If you're so fired up to know what's going on, you go down there!
Scourge: YOU LEAD!
Politely Declining Sweep: I wouldn't want anyone thinking that I question you as a leader, but sorry.
Cyclonus: I question your leadership skills, Scourge. The last one in there will face me!
[The Sweeps jump into the shaft.]
Cyclonus: You have much to learn.
Scourge: Yes, that is true.
Cyclonus: Now, DIVE!

Scourge, the Sweeps and Cyclonus debate entering the Crypt.


"Come out and die like a warrior! How dare you disgrace your ancestors by cowering like a pocket computer! He's worse than the Sweeps! Come out and face your fate like the powerful Decepticon you once were, not like the miserable excuse for a Decepticon you have become!"

Cyclonus, after spotting Octane hiding behind somebody's marker


"Yes...we will interrogate him. Even if it's not informative, it will be fun!"

Galvatron

Thief in the Night[edit]

Galvatron: You're a traitor, Octane! You had no permission to take Trypticon away from Dinobot Island! I needed Trypticon for my plans of conquering the Earth. Now, thanks to you, he may never recover!
Octane: But you got it all wrong, Galvatron! Me and Trypticon found this fantastic new type of Energon. It's helping Trypticon get all better real quick! Try some, you'll love it!
Trypticon: Drink! Drink and CRUSH!
Galvatron: That's good! Makes me feel stronger, more powerful!

Surprise Party[edit]

Madman's Paradise[edit]

Rodimus Prime:Don't panic yet. Stay calm until we know what's going on. Then we'll panic."

The Golden One:Repidot. Respondot. Rezendot. Zanitar. Zanarre. Zavasar. Allak...arrak... arram!

Mightmare Planet[edit]

Rodimus:I spent time talking TV with Wreck-Gar.

Ghost in the Machine[edit]

Galvatron: DESTROY HIM! HE'S LOST HIS MIND!

Warpath: Aerialbots! Wait for... umm... nevermind.

Galvatron: First, you two let Scourge and Starscream steal one of Trypticon's eyes. And then you two allowed Astrotrain to be used as their escape vehicle. So Scourge is helping Starscream voluntarily, and you four were unable to stop them! Well, all I can say is...BWWWAAAAAAA!"

Webworld[edit]

Perceptor: Remarkable. Galvatron is doing most of the work for us.

Galvatron: You wanna scream? I'll give you something to scream about!"

Carnage in C-Minor[edit]

"You! Because of you, I got blasted out of space. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT DID TO MY PAINT JOB?!"

Broadside, right before he sucker-punches Galvatron


"Broadside! Blaster! Galvatron and Soundwave went to find the weapon that knocked us out of space!"
"Weapon? That was no weapon. That was harmonic bliss! A musical kiss!"
"Whatever."

Ultra Magnus, who doesn't have any soul, and Blaster, who does.


"Blaster, you picking up anything?"
"Yeah, yeah! Beauty like you wouldn't believe, Broadside. Sweet soul music. It's their art, their commerce, their philosophy, their whole—uh-oh, bummer. Galvatron and Soundwave are here."

Broadside and Blaster get their vibes harshed.


"I don't wanna see your ugly face, just the button that says 'ERASE'!"
"My tapes! You've erased my tapes!"

Blaster destroys Soundwave's tapes, to the Decepticon's monotoned horror.

The Quintesson Journal[edit]

"I don't think this is how a peace process is supposed to begin."

Rodimus Prime as the delegates begin struggling with each other.


"But you said no mercy, Galvatron!"
"Very true! So I shall show none!" [hits Predaking]

Predaking just wants to break something, and Galvatron is psychotic, as usual.


"Don't you know any gentler games?"

Ultra Magnus to the rambunctious delegates.

The Ultimate Weapon[edit]

First Aid: I'm taking him back to Metroplex for repairs!
Galvatron: Better get used to the trip, Autobot.
Rodimus: Why don't you get used to losing, Galvatron? It's all you ever do!

Trypticon: Best humans can do?
[Trypticon tosses battleship halves at attacking ships]
Galvatron: Come, Trypticon, stop trifling with that! Metroplex awaits.
Trypticon: Trypticon hungry!


[Spike runs into Cyclonus]
Cyclonus: Humans..."
Spike: Uh, everything's fine in there. Uh, the problem must be somewhere else.
Cyclonus: Then don't dawdle, human. Trypticon must be repaired at once... for the greater glory of Galvatron!
Spike: You got it, you got it... sheesh, dunno why anybody'd wanna work for such a bunch of grumpy employers.

— A rather clueless Cyclonus lets Spike and Daniel get away with Trypticon's transformation cog.

Galvatron: I still have my ultimate weapon, Rodimus! Surrender now, or I'll unleash its force upon you all!
Rodimus Prime: [to Ultra Magnus] You know, I think I've finally started to wise up. If such a weapon existed, he'd have used it a long time ago!
Galvatron: I tell you for the last time, Rodimus. Surrender, or there won't be an Earth left to protect! Surrender! This is your last chance, or—
Rodimus Prime: You're bluffing, Galvatron.
Galvatron: I tell you this is the end!
Rodimus Prime: You're right. It is, because I used the real 'ultimate weapon'...my mind!
Galvatron: Stay back!
[Rodimus Prime continues walking towards Galvatron]
Galvatron: I said stay back!
[Rodimus Prime continues walking; Galvatron throws the "ultimate weapon" control device on the ground]
Galvatron: Aarh! There will be another day, Rodimus!
[Galvatron retreats]
Rodimus Prime: And we'll be ready.

—Galvatron's less-than-impressive bluff is called by Rodimus Prime.

The Big Broadcast of 2006[edit]

"I know you're bored, Rodimus, but with the mantle of leadership comes obligations."
"Don't suppose I could interest you in a used mantle?"

Ultra Magnus and Rodimus Prime


"To share is to care. To care is to share."

Quintesson


"Mrs. Peel, we're needed. Our five year mission: to boldly share our signal with all the sloppy lifeforms who are our enemies. There is nothing wrong with your television set. We are controlling transmission. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. We've got the touch!"

Wreck-Gar


"Mighty Galvatron, where are you going?"
"To the signal. To be a winner! Because I believe in me!"

Cyclonus and Galvatron, discussing Galvatron's newfound belief in positive thinking.


Blaster: We're outgunned, man! We don't have a chance!
Kup: Boy, that's what makes life interesting.
Rodimus: Or over!

—The Autobots discuss their situation.

Fight or Flee[edit]

"Hey! I'm stuck up here!"
"Everybody's got to be somewhere."

-A Paradronian and Cyclonus, after the latter throws him into a wall.


"Before a society can move forward, everyone must agree on the rules. Now kneel!"

—Come, sons of Paradron, kneel before Galvatron.


"I-is there something wrong with his timing program?"

Sandstorm, asking the question we're all thinking about Blurr.


"I've never seen anything this beautiful in the entire galaxy.... All right, give me the bomb."

Ultra Magnus with one of the greatest lines in the universe.


"Run you Autobot cowards! Hhh...but he isn't a coward.... Something's wrong here!"

Galvatron mocks Ultra Magnus, then realizes they're in deep slag.


"It's as beautiful in death as it was in life."
"Well, no need to get all mushy. Cybertron's a better place anyway—not so...perfect."

—A solemn Sandstorm witnessing the destruction of his home while Rodimus Prime callously mocks him for it. Jerk.

The Dweller in the Depths[edit]

"YO, JOE! Here I come to save the day. Ayay-yaya-yai! Can this be...the end...of little Wreck-Gar? Oh, no!"

Wreck-Gar saves Ultra Magnus from the Dweller's energy-draining web, only to get trapped in it himself and be drained.


"Come on, Wreck-Gar, buddy! They haven't canceled your series yet!"

Springer frees the energy-drained Wreck-Gar from the Dweller's rear pouch.


"Be a good soldier and help him."
"Galvatron, NO! I beg you!"

Galvatron sacrifices another Sweep to the energy vampires that are approaching.


"I don't know what that thing is back in the tunnels, but even if it gets me as well, I'll die with the satisfaction that the universe will have two more Autobots to mourn!"

Galvatron as he is about to attack Ultra Magnus and Arcee, not realising that the Dweller is fast approaching.

Only Human[edit]

"Yer "trash" got up an' took a hike before I could squash 'em!"

Junkyard goon


Victor Drath: "Does that technology still exist, Snake? Is it for sale?"
"Old Snake": "This is the world, Mr. Drath. Everything is for sale."

—Often from toy companies!


"The Path to True Humanity! Only $4.95, tax deductible!"
[Springer shoves him aside]
"Sorry, pal, I'm a robot at heart. ...Terrific. I already need a shave."

Street proselytizer and humanized Springer


Springer: "Need a hand? I, uh...operate heavy equipment.
Goon #1: Uh...yeah.
Goon #2: But dere's only room for two in here!
[#1 boots #2 out the hatch]
Goon #1: Yeah! Yer right!

—Springer gets a lift from his own body.


"Don't think for a moment that I haven't the nerve to use this—I have!"

—Even humanized, Ultra Magnus is a badass.


"What's this?"
"It's called breakfast, dummy."
"Mph. Smells better than it tastes."

—Humanized Rodimus discovers coffee, courtesy of Michelle


"Snake pointed out to me a problem with eliminating only the four of you...namely, an entire city of Autobots who might be tempted to vengeance. I believe in solutions, not problems. You can watch the destruction of Metroplex before you die."

Victor Drath rubs Rodimus's nose in it.


"Well, did you enjoy your sojourn, Rodimus?"
"Maybe a little too much, Perceptor."

Perceptor innocently asks a very loaded question of Rodimus, as the camera pointedly zooms in on Michelle.


"Poor Mr. Drath. Not quite smart enough, were you? They simply don't make terrorists like they used to! COOOOOBRA-ha-*hackcoughcoughcough*"

—"Old Snake" gets away scot-free.

Grimlock's New Brain[edit]

"Can't be that one, must be one of these. Eenie Menie miny moe. This switch real rad, gonna pull!"
"Grimlock, no!!!!! It's this one over here!"
"Uhhh, that Grimlock's next choice."

Grimlock showing Rodimus why he should not have been given such an important task.


"Why you think Grimlock stupid? Me no stupid. Grimlock is smartest Dinobot of all."
"Unfortunately, that's probably true. I just wish the Dinobots had more sophisticated brains."
"Brains?! Grimlock know how to bash brains. Maybe bash yours."

Grimlock threatening to beat up Perceptor.


Grimlock: What go wrong?
Perceptor: Something incapacitated their aerial capabilities.
Grimlock: Huh?
Rodimus Prime: He means they couldn't fly, so they crashed.
Grimlock: Me knew that!

—Simplifying things for a Dinobot isn't that simple.


"Hey, how did you shut down that baby?"
"I, Grimlock...used my rear molars."
"Uh that makes good sense, good going. You what?!"
"Is your hearing impaired, Kup? Ohh, with some Autobots, you have to explain everything."

Kup and Grimlock the latter of whom has just received a great deal of intelligence


"Antielectrons, of course! They attack our electrocircuits! Now why didn't I think of that?"
"Perhaps because your mental abilities are so limited."

—Oh snap! Perceptor just got served!


"That one mine! Give me!"
"Rrr, me want that Autobot!"

Sinnertwin arguing with...himself.


"Are...are you my father?"

—A newly awakened Nosecone, the first Technobot created by Grimlock


Strafe: Yahoo! It feels great to be a Technobot! My name is Strafe!
Afterburner: Far out! Fantastic! I'm Afterburner! I'm raring to burn neutrons and see some heavy action!
Lightspeed: Mellow out, Afterburner.
Afterburner: Says who?
Lightspeed: They call me Lightspeed, faster than a speeding photon.
Grimlock: And you, Scattershot, will be the leader of the Technobots.

—The newly created Technobots and Grimlock engage in a brief introdump.


"Come on, Technobots! Let's show them the stuff Grimlock made us of!"

Afterburner as he attacks the Decepticons with his comrades


"Me Grimlock say no fun to be genius all the time. Much more fun to be good old Dinobot Grimlock."

Grimlock on his recent bout with intelligence.

Money Is Everything[edit]

"Sorry, Faireborn, if you weren't who you are, and if I weren't who I am, maybe we could have had something special. But—we'll never know, will we?"

Dirk Manus. What a gentleman.


"Saturn's rings...I can't believe I'm finally out here."
"Say something, Lightspeed?"
"Daydreaming, Strafe. Or maybe I should say 'stardreaming'."
"Uh-huh."

Lightspeed's hopes and dreams aren't very interesting to Strafe.


"Mmmbleah! Blot feel sick."

Blot doesn't take well to being germ-free.


"A triple cross! While I was planting a bomb on the Recreator, they planted one on Lazy Sue! This stinks!"

Dirk Manus understates his situation.

Call of the Primitives[edit]

"Now remember, before you do anything, think, 'Is this what Sky Lynx would do in my position?', and you will not go far wrong."

Sky Lynx's sensible instructions to the rest of the Primitives.


"I have summoned you here to tell you a tale of long ago."
"Oh, me Grimlock love long ago tale!"
"Then allow me to tell it."

—The Oracle slaps Grimlock into place.


"Suffer my rage, monster! I will show you no mercy! You will rue the day you crossed Sky—aaahhh!"

Sky Lynx's righteous fury at the deaths of Trypticon and Grimlock.


Headstrong: Sky Lynx is destroyed! Who will lead us now?
Slag: I, Slag, lead Dinobots away, till I get better idea.
Hun-Gurrr: Best idea yet! We run too!

—Strategy is not their strong suit.


Headstrong: I detest fleeing, I would rather die fighting!
Razorclaw: He is right! Predacons, unite!
[The Predacons combine.]
Predaking: Tornedron... face Predaking! To the end!

—The Predacons decide that it is better to fight and die than live with the knowledge that they ran.


"Only you can save the world now, Grimlock."
"Me Grimlock feel important!"

—The Oracle rests the fate of... erm, the universe, on Grimlock's shoulders.


Grimlock: [chuckles] "You are creator?"
Primacron: "Unfortunately....yes."
Grimlock: "Grimlock laugh at little wimp who cause big trouble!"

Primacron: We are finished!! I've amplified the energy parameters, minimized the drivormenter, redirected the ion flow! I've tried EVERYTHING! Grimlock: Me Grimlock solve problem! Wuh!
[Reaches over and pushes switch]
Primacron: Of course, the reverse switch! Why didn't I think of that?!


Grimlock: Grimlock saved universe! Grimlock hero! [Grimlock stomps in victory, causing the place to begin to collapse]
Primacron: Stop it! You stupid—!
Grimlock: Why you call Grimlock stupid?
Primacron: You've ruined my lab!
Grimlock: Me Grimlock think that is smartest thing I ever done!

The Face of the Nijika[edit]

Cyclonus: Burn him now!
Quintesson: Be silent! Don't call attention to us!
Cyclonus: VEEENNGEANNNNCE NOOOOOOOW!
[The crowd starts to cheer]
Female Zamojin: Yes! The devils must pay! They stole the stars in the sky!
Male Zamojin: They stole the life from our minds!
Cyclonus: Hahahaha. You've never understood mob psychology, have you?

The Burden Hardest to Bear[edit]

"You dropped it, didn't you? You broke the Matrix, didn't you?!"

Galvatron


"Aren't you getting a little carried away here? I'm still me, you're still you: Matrix, schmatrix."

Hot Rod is flippant after losing a hand-me-down.


"I...still...function..."

Cyclonus in a call-back to The Transformers: The Movie


"We're too late, Galvatron! Scourge has already launched his assault!"
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word assault, but he's going to learn!"

Cyclonus and Galvatron


"Oh no, we're trapped! We'll be killed!"
"Remarkable! The woman is clairvoyant!"

-Scourge mocks his intended victim.


"The Matrix did this to you? Then I have to take it back. I see now it is my obligation. I belong to it... as much as it belongs to me."

Hot Rod's realization at last.


The Return of Optimus Prime part 1[edit]

"Why do I keep seeing you in my dreams, Optimus? Are you telling me I'm not the leader you were? I already know that, Optimus. I always have."

Rodimus ponders in front of Optimus's memorial statue in Metroplex.



"I'm a pepper! Wouldn't you like to be a pepper, too?"

Wreck-Gar merrily spreads the infection.


"They've all gone mad. This is no place for me!"

—The irony is lost on Galvatron.


"The world needs a leader now!"

Sky Lynx on the reactivation of Optimus Prime

The Return of Optimus Prime part 2[edit]

Galvatron:Fools, I am your leader! ... It's no use. You're all crazed!

Galvatron:I don't need you anymore, Optimus. So much for your resurrection!

Galvatron:Now, light our darkest hour!

Galvatron:There will be no war today, Optimus. You have earned Galvatron's respect.

Season 4[edit]

The Rebirth, part 1[edit]

Optimus Prime:It's... starting."

Kup: It might give us the edge if the Decepticons did return.
Crosshairs: That's not gonna happen!
Optimus: Kup! Highbrow! The Decepticons are heading your way!
Kup: How many of 'em, Prime?
Optimus: All of them!
Crosshairs: 'Course, I have been wrong on one or two occasions.

Galvatron:'Sixshot, show them what a one-robot army is!"

The Rebirth part 2[edit]

Zarak': I am Zarak. I have a little deal to offer you, one which will enable you to defeat your adversaries. And all it will cost you is...your heads.

Zarak:Autobots! Prepare to feel the sting of...SCORPONOK!

The Rebirth part 3[edit]

Fortress Maximus:Decepticons... prepare to face... Fortress Maximus!!

Optimus Prime: The Golden Age of Cybertron has come again, Cerebros. Thanks to you and Spike. You don't have to fight anymore."