Angel (TV series)

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Angel (1999–2004) was created by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. See the discussion page for suggested formatting and inclusion guidelines.

[edit] Contents

Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5
City of Judgment Heartthrob Deep Down Conviction
Lonely Hearts Are You Now or Have You Ever Been That Vision Thing Ground State Just Rewards
In the Dark 1st Impressions That Old Gang of Mine The House Always Wins Unleashed
I Fall to Pieces Untouched Carpe Noctem Slouching Toward Bethlehem Hell Bound
Rm w/a Vu Dear Boy Fredless Supersymmetry Life of the Party
Sense & Sensitivity Guise Will Be Guise Billy Spin the Bottle C Tale of # 5
Bachelor Party Darla Offspring Apocalypse, Nowish Lineage
I Will Remember You Shroud of Rahmon Quickening Habeas Corpses Destiny
Hero The Trial Lullaby Long Day's Journey Harm's Way
Parting Gifts Reunion Dad Awakening Soul Purpose
Somnabulist Redefinition Birthday Soulless Damage
Expecting Blood Money Provider Calvary You're Welcome
She Happy Anniversary Waiting in the Wings Salvage Why We Fight
I've Got You Under My Skin The Thin Dead Line Couplet Release Smile Time
The Prodigal Reprise Loyalty Orpheus A Hole in the World
The Ring Epiphany Sleep Tight Players Shells
Eternity Disharmony Forgiving Inside Out Underneath
Five by Five Dead End Double or Nothing Shiny Happy People Origin
Sanctuary Belonging The Price The Magic Bullet Time Bomb
War Zone Over the Rainbow A New World Sacrifice The Girl in Question
Blind Date Through the Looking Glass Benediction Peace Out Power Play
To Shanshu in LA There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb Tomorrow Home Not Fade Away
See also External links

[edit] Season 1

[edit] City of

(vampire growls in Angel's face)
Angel: Breath mint?
Doyle: (On Angel's home) Nice place. Not much of a view, but it has a certain Batcave charm to it.
Doyle: Let me tell you a little bedtime story.
Angel: But I don't feel sleepy.
Doyle: Once upon a time, there was a vampire. And he was the meanest vampire in all the land. I mean other vampires were afraid of him he was such a bastard. Then, one day, he gets his soul back and suddenly he's mad with guilt.
Angel: I was wrong. Now I'm feeling sleepy.
Doyle :It's a fairly dull tale. It needs a bit of sex, in my opinion. So sure enough, he meets a girl. Pretty little blonde thing. A vampire slayer by trade. And our vampire falls madly in love. But eventually, they get fleshy with one another. And the moment he, well I guess the technical term is "Perfect Happiness". But when our boy gets there, he goes bad and kills again. Its ugly. When he gets his soul back for the second time, he figures he can't be anywhere near Miss Puppy-Eyes without endangering them both. He takes off and goes to L.A, to fight evil and atone for his crimes. He's a shadow, a faceless champion of the helpless human race.Say,You wouldn't happen to have a beer of any kind,would You?
Doyle:Say man,I'm parched from all this wacking.What do You say We treat Me to a Billy Dee?
Doyle: It's about showing people there's still love and hope in the world.
Homeless Woman: Spare change?
Doyle: Get a job, you lazy sow.
Tina: You've been to Missoula?
Angel: In the Depression. Um... my depression... I was depressed there. But it's a pretty country.
[Angel bumps into Sunnydale acquaintance Cordelia at a Hollywood party.]
Cordelia: So, um, are you still... 'Grrr'?
Angel: Yeah. There's not actually a cure for that.
[An offer of help from a wealthy admirer has moved Cordelia to tears.]
Cordelia: Oh, God, I'm sorry! I'm getting all weepy in front of you. I probably look really scary. I finally get invited to a nice place... with no mirrors, and... lots of curtains... Hey! You're a vampire!
Russell Winters: What? No, I'm not.
Cordelia: Are too!
Russell: I don't know what you're talking about.
Cordelia: I'm from Sunnydale — we had our own Hellmouth! I think I know a vampire when I... am... alone with him... in his fortress-like home. And, you know? I think I'm just feeling a little light-headed from hunger. I'm just wacky! And kidding!! Ha, ha!...
Russell: Truth is, I'm glad you know. It means we can skip the formalities.
[As a vamped-out Russell stalks Cordelia, Angel bursts in.]
Cordelia: Angel?
Russell: You made a big mistake coming here.
Cordelia: [starts to grin] You don't know who he is, do you? Oh, boy! You're about to get your ass kicked!
[The next day, on the top floor of Russell Winters Enterprises.]
Russell: Angel, we do things a certain way here in L.A.
Angel: Well, I'm new here.
Russell: But you're a civilized man. We don't have to go around attacking each other. Look at me — I pay my taxes, I keep my name out of the paper, and I don't make waves. And in return, I can do anything I want.
Angel: Really. Hmm. [puts one foot up on the chair between Russell's legs, leans forward and nearly whispers] Can you fly? [with his foot, Angel shoves Russell's chair backwards into the wall of windows so hard that Russell crashes right through the glass, falls screaming through the air, bursts into flame, and disintegrates to dust. Angel hears the empty chair smash on the sidewalk far below] Hmm. I guess not.

[edit] Lonely Hearts

Doyle: They're messages I get... you know, from the higher powers, whoever they may be. You know ... it's my gift!
Cordelia: If that was my gift, I'd return it. I mean, you get those headaches, and you do this 'bleh' thing with your face.
Doyle: [grimacing] What thing with my face?
Cordelia: Plus, your visions are kind of lame. A bar? That's nice and vague. I mean, they should send you one of those self-destructing tapes, you know? That comes with a dossier?
Cordelia: I'm an actress, a student of the human animal. I don't need to talk to people to know their story. [scans and points] Jazz-hands over there? Mama's boy. Peter Pan complex. [points again] Self-absorbed closet-deb, with a big 'the world owes me' chip on her shoulder. [points at Sharon leading Kevin up the stairs] And check out 'Sarah, Plain and Tall.' Has, or comes from, big money.
Doyle: How do you know all that?
Cordelia: Well, you've got to be rich to snag the Calvin Klein model she's leaving with.
Doyle: Yeah, well, they're all riveting insights and such, but we need to find someone that's in trouble?
Angel: So what are you looking for?
Kate: Me? I guess it depends on how many daiquiris I've had. Wow, way to come off as a drunken slut.
Doyle: Violence isn't going to solve a thing here. [headbutts the guy harrassing Cordelia] On the other hand, it is kind of festive.
[Doyle finds a bra in Cordelia's messy living room and holds it up.]
Cordelia: Oh, that is so high school. "Ooh-ooh! Cordelia wears bras! She has girl parts!"
[Angel gets his first look at Cordelia's apartment.]
Angel: You actually live here?
Cordelia: Hey, is it my fault if maid service was interrupted? It was supposed to go, 'home,' 'hotel,' 'hotel,' 'husband.'
Angel: I know you guys have been working hard. I mean, you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation, I was thinking, the night being... you know... young and all, that the three of us could, well... should... you know... maybe, go out... ... you know... ... ... for fun.
Cordelia: Or we can go home.
Doyle: And you can sit in the dark alone.
Angel: God yes. Thank you.

[edit] In the Dark

[Angel has just saved Rachel from a violently abusive boyfriend, while Spike watches—and narrates—from the rooftop.]
Spike [as Rachel, falsetto]: How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad, hunk of a night thing?
Spike [as Angel, basso]: No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel sways closer to Angel; he steps back, warding her off with his hands.] No, not the hair! Never the hair!
Spike [as Rachel]: But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.
Spike [as Angel]: No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
Spike [as Rachel]: I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
Spike [as Angel]: Ah. Say no more. Evil's still afoot ... and I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly! To the Angelmobile — AWAY! [Rachel and Angel leave. Spike lights a cigarette.]
Spike [as Spike]: Go on, Liam. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way—the Ring of Amarra, a visit from your old pal Spike, and—oh, yeah—your gruesome, horrible death.
Angel: You might as well go home, Spike. The Gem of Amarra stays with me.
Spike: Why? Because you're 'Angel, Vamp Detective' now? I'm so scared. What's next? Vampire Cowboy? Vampire Fireman? Heh, Vampire Ballerina!
Angel: I do like to work with my legs.
Doyle: I'm going to celebrate with a drink down in the pub.
Cordelia: He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub.
Angel: You're at a crossroads. I know. It's either go for the easy fix and wait for the consequences, or take the hard road and go with faith.
Rachel: Oh, God. You're not from that freaky church on Sunset, are you?
Angel: In, in yourself, that... that kind of faith.
[Doyle is suffering from a severe hangover.]
Doyle: Oh, God... You know what would feel really good right now? One of those mind-numbing, head-cracking visions that I get from time to time... because that would really kill me. What, is there some trick to this?
Cordelia: [takes the aspirin bottle away from Doyle and dispenses three tablets] I think the 'trick' is laying off the ale before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby-man.
Doyle: Hey, that's a good book.
Cordelia: So I've heard. But I doubt very much that the main characters are Betty and Barney Rubble, as you so vehemently insisted last night. Also? I don't think Oz appreciated being called "my little Bamm-Bamm" all night.
Doyle: Frankie Tripod, a big no
Cordelia: Frankie Tripod? Oh, I get it. Some kind of three-legged monster, right?
Doyle: No, he's human
Cordelia: Then why is his name -- oh.
Spike: Marcus here is an expert. Some say Artist, but I've never been comfortable with labels. He's a Bloody king of torture, he is. Humans, demons, politicians. Makes no difference. Some say he invented several of the classics, but he won't tell me which ones. Beneath the cool exterior, you'll find he's really rather shy. Except with kids. You like kids, don't you Marcus? Well, likes to eat. And other nasty things.
[Marcus sticks a hot Poker in Angel's chest]
Spike: Someone's having shish kebab.
Spike: It's called Addiction, Angel. We all have them. I believe yours is called Slutty the Vampire Slayer.
Spike: The Mick's got Spine. Maybe I'll snap it in two.
Cordelia:When You're finished giving the place the full Johnny Depp over,I hope You have the money to pay for all this
Cordelia: I don't trust you.
Spike: To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase, duh.
Angel: I don't know about you, but I had a nice day.... You know, except for the bulk of it, where I was nearly tortured to death.
Doyle: Aye, you stood up.
Angel: Oh, God. I was this close to telling him everything. One more hot poker, and I was giving him the ring, your mom, everything.... ... How is your mom?

[edit] I Fall to Pieces

Angel: Am I intimidating? I mean, do I put people off?
Cordelia: Well, as vampires go, you're pretty cuddly. Maybe you might want to think about mixing up the black-on-black a little, though.
Kate: Wolfram & Hart. They're the law firm that Johnnie Cochran is too ethical to join.
Cordelia: I know Angel's been working day and night to help people fight their personal demons, but I need a raise.
Doyle: A raise? You've been working for him for, what, like, twenty minutes?
Cordelia: A month. And I have needs.
Doyle: Needs.
Cordelia: A person, needs certain... designer... things.
[Cordelia and Doyle are waiting to ask Angel (again) to charge for their cases.]
Cordelia: We have to stand up to him.
Doyle: Yeah, we're standing up. [They stand up.]
Cordelia: We'll just wait until he has his coffee. [Angel enters.]
Angel: Good morning.
Cordelia: Morning.
Doyle: Morning. [Angel pours himself a cup of coffee, sips, and makes a disgusted face.]
Angel: Ehhh. What is this?
Cordelia: Last week's coffee. Think of it as espresso.
Angel: [supresses gag] I think my esophagus is melting.
Cordelia: [to Doyle] You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard.
Doyle: [just after vision] Pen...Paper...Single malt scotch...
(Angel gives him a mug of scotch. Doyle drinks it and looks up.)
Doyle: This isn't single malt. It's...poly malt.
Cordelia: I mean, it is just so unfair! This poor girl, she hooks up with a doctor—that's supposed to be a good thing. I mean, you should be able to call home and say, "Hey, Mom, guess what? I met a doctor!", not, "Guess what? I met a psycho and he's stalking me and oh, by the way, his hands and feet come off and he's not even in the circus!"
[Angel and company have received a check for their first paying job.]
Doyle: Let's march down to the bank right now and deposit this beauty.
Angel: You guys go ahead. I think I'll stay here and not burst into flames.
Doyle: Right, you're pretty much the night deposit guy.

[edit] Rm w/a Vu

[Cordelia has been bemoaning her miserable life.]
Doyle: Well, I don't know if I can help with the acting, but about the apartment?
Cordelia: What?
Doyle: If you ever wanna, you know, spend one night away from the place? Maybe give me a call.
Cordelia: Well, stranger things have happened. No, wait—they really haven't. [Cordelia leaves and Doyle sits down in Angel's office.]
Doyle: She's really something, isn't she? It's like wrestling a tiger just to get to know her. Tell me stuff.
Angel: What stuff?
Doyle: About Cordelia.
Angel: Well, I... I know she can't type or file. Until today I had some hope regarding the phone.
Doyle: Who's Aura?
Angel: I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them the Cordettes. Bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school, decided what was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police, if they cared a lot about shoes.
[Still dripping, Angel juggles a stack of Cordelia's luggage.]
Cordelia: Get this. I tried to call Doyle—I have sunk that low—and there was no answer. So here I am. Not that you were the last resort, it's just that I had nowhere else left to go. Roaches! Live ones, dead ones, all skinny feet and creepy antlers.
Angel: Antlers?
Cordelia: Oh my God, I wonder how many stowed away in that bag! Also? The water is all brown and spurty and not hot! I am dying for a shower. I actually smell. Smell me. I never smell. I didn't know I could. I'm just going to have to stay here until I find a decent place—however long that takes. And when I do, you're completely invited over. Hey, you can just dump my stuff on your couch. Or let me have the bed... whatever you feel good about. Also, my suitcase is still out in the hall.
[Doyle is horrified to find Cordelia staying over at Angel's place.]
Doyle: No... no-no-no-no! Angel, man, how could you?
Angel: How could I what?
Doyle: You knew I was crazy about her—and I was wearing her down, too. But no—handsome, brooding, vampire guy has to swoop in, all sensitive mouth and overhanging forehead! How about leaving some scraps for the homely-looking fellas who don't turn evil when they get some?
Angel: Cordelia stayed over because there's something wrong with her place. I was on the sofa.
Doyle: Oh. That's okay, I suppose.
Cordelia: [looking at apartment] Oh, my gosh. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
Doyle: [looking at Cordelia] Nope. Never.
Cordelia: You know what? I get it. You're a ghost. You're dead! Big accomplishment! Move on! You see a light anywhere? Go towards it!
Cordelia: This is easy. Little Old Lady ghost, probably hanging around because she thinks she left the iron on.
[Cordelia's new apartment is perfect, aside from a hostile ghost.]
Cordelia: I am NOT leaving this apartment!
Angel: It's haunted.
Cordelia: It's rent-controlled!
...
Angel: You know, this really is just a place to live.
Cordelia: No! It's more. It's beautiful. And if it goes away, it's like ...
Angel: Like what?
Cordelia: Like I'm still getting punished.
Angel: Punished for what?
Cordelia: I don't know. For how I was? For everything I said in high school just 'cause I could get away with it? And then it all ended and I had to pay. But this apartment... I could be me again. Punishment over — welcome back to your life! Like, like... I couldn't be that awful if I get to have a place like that?... It's just like you!
Angel: Working for redemption.
Cordelia: Um, I... I meant, because you used to have that mansion.
[Doyle answers the phone and mixes up the A.I. slogan]
Doyle: Angel Investigations. We hope you're helpless!
[Kate checks police archives for past murders in Cordelia's apartment.]
Kate: Now you’re talking like a detective.
Angel: I am a detective.
Kate: Well, you see, the thing about detectives is, they have résumés. And business licenses. And last names. Pop stars and popes — those are the one-name guys.
Angel: You got me. I’m a pope.
[Angel and Doyle are trying to exorcise the ghost in Cordelia's apartment. Angel hands the spell book to Doyle.]
Angel: Doyle, chant.
Doyle: Oh, man, Latin. One of those dead languages you always mean to learn.
Angel: You do know what to do. You can stop this. Do it!
Cordelia: I ca-can't!
Angel: Look at you! You're going to let her do this to you? Damn it. You're Cordelia Chase. Are you just going to lie there like a weakling? Get off your ass and be tough.
Cordelia: I can't, I can't!
Angel: You're the biggest pain I've ever seen.
[Cordelia's epiphany]
Cordelia: [cries] I'm sorry!
Maude: You'd better be sorry, you stupid little bitch.
Cordelia: [stops crying] I'm a bitch.
Maude: Take off the bedsheets, make a noose.... Go on. It'll all be over soon.
Cordelia: [stands] I'm not a sniveling, whiney little cry-Buffy. I'm the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one.
Maude: You're going to make yourself a noose, and put it around...
Cordelia: Back off, Poly-grip! You think you're bad? Picking on poor pathetic Cordy? Well get ready to haul your wrinkly, translucent ass out of this place, 'cause lady, the bitch is back.

[edit] Sense & Sensitivity

[Angel has just finished off a tentacled monstrosity in the sewer.]
Angel: Make sure you cut off all the limbs and both heads this time. Remember to bury the parts separately. [tosses sword to Doyle] I don't want this thing coming back to life again.
Cordelia: That's it?
Angel: I'm gonna go clean out the nest. I'll see you back at the office. [he leaves]
Cordelia: Okay, am I wrong in thinking that a "please" and "thank you" is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment?
Doyle: He appreciates us, in his own... unappreciative way.
[Like father, like daughter—Angel gets a one-two punch from the Detectives Lockley at Trevor's retirement party.]
Kate: Boy, I'm scared. And excited. And consumed with dread. And glad you're here.
Angel: I doubt even one of Little Tony's hired guns would try something in a roomful of cops.
Kate: What? Oh, that death-threat hanging overhead. No, I meant speaking in public. [starts across room toward her father]
Angel: What's that old saw? Picture your audience in their underwear?
Kate: [distractedly looks Angel up and down] Way ahead of you. [Angel catches up just as Kate stops in front of her father and kisses his cheek.] Happy retirement, Daddy.
Trevor: Who's this?
Kate: This is Angel, he's a friend. Angel, this is my father.
Angel: Hello, Mr. Lockley. [they shake] Congratulations.
Trevor: For what? All I did was live this long and not get shot.
Kate: Why do you do that?
Trevor: Do what?
Kate: Pretend important things don't matter.
Trevor: [eyes on Kate] So. Angel. [looks at Angel] How long you been seeing Katie?
Angel: We're, ahh, we're pretty new friends.
Trevor: Well, good to see her out with a man. I was starting to wonder if she didn't lean in another direction altogether.
[Angel, Cordelia and Doyle have just broken in to a back room at the precinct. Angel climbs down and turns to look at the broken window.]
Angel: Wow. That's vandalism.
Doyle: It's okay. We'll take care of it later.
Angel: We should leave a note.
Cordelia: Come on.
Angel: What's the magic word?
Cordelia: Urgh!
Angel: I don't think 'urgh' is a magic word, if one could call it a word, and certainly not a magic one.
Cordelia: We don't have time for this.
Angel: There's always time to be considerate of others, Cordelia.
Cordelia: Oh, please.
Angel: [smiles] There. That wasn't so hard now was it?
LT: Thought you finally had it over on me, hah? Thought you were smarter than Little Tony? Well, nobody beats me, baby, not even a stone bitch like you.
Kate: I am not a bitch! I'm just protected.
LT: Nobody protecting you now.
Angel: Hey!... I'm feeling some serious negative energy in this room. [walks slowly toward Little Tony]
Cordelia: Go on! Take care of him!
LT: Oh, I been wanting to see you again.
Kate: I'm sure he'd say the same thing, but that gun really makes you come off as hostile!
Angel: That, and the body language. It's so... closed.
Kate: Yeah!
Doyle: Angel, man. Fight, don't talk.
Cordelia: We are so dead.
Angel: [patting the back of a chair right next to Little Tony] Now, why don't we all sit down together, and process this?
LT: [leering] Seems like that sensitivity training I paid for really took, huh, nancy-boy? [Angel swings chair, knocks LT's shotgun out of his hands, throws chair so hard, thug behind LT crashes into wall]
Kate: [shoots remaining thug before he can draw bead on Angel] How do you think that makes me feel?
Angel: Okay, now I'm feeling unheard. [stops LT's charge with a left, then delivers three hard blows to his midsection] You know, Anthony, you can be a rainbow, and not a ... [brutal punch, LT collapses to floor] ... [airquotes] "pain-bow"!
Kate: You.
Angel: No, you. [they hug]
Cordelia: Anyone for vomit?
Angel: [looks down at LT's prone form] It's so sad, isn't it?
Kate: Some people just need to live in the problem.
Trevor: Katie. Got your messages on my machine.
Kate: Yeah, that was... kind of a bizarre night. And I...
Trevor: Katie. [smiles gently] Don't ... don't say anything. [looks away, looks back, face hard] You make an idiot out of yourself, embarrass me in front of the guys... you don't bring that up, ever again. Far as I'm concerned? Didn't happen.
Doyle: So, you were right. Papazian's planning something.
Angel: What'd ya hear?
Doyle: Papazian's planning something.
Angel: That's it?
Doyle: Johnny Red says, quote, 'Papazian's planning something.'
Angel: Huh. I thought he might be planning something.
Doyle: See? You were right.
Angel: Drink this.
Kate: You have the most intense eyes. I see such an Old Soul.
Doyle: He gets that a lot, you know.
Doyle: Angel, man. You've gotta snap out of this!
Cordy: Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy. Grrrr. Kate needs you.
Angel: Uh uh, I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.
Cordy: We won't judge you! Will we? [Doyle concurs] ... Give it a try.
Angel: [shakes head] Closeness is too important to me now.

[edit] Bachelor Party

[Cordy's version of tact.]
Pierce: Oh God, listen to me. I'm not boring you, am I?
Cordelia: I don't mind.
[Doyle just barely manages to slay the vampire menacing Cordelia.]
Doyle: Are you okay?
Cordelia: I'm fine. That was... you were so... brave!
Doyle: You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're stepping on my moment of manliness here.
Cordelia: I'm sorry. I'm... just...
Doyle: Surprised?
Cordelia: ...Grateful.
Cordelia: So, here I am at Le Petit Renard with Mr. Armani, who could keep me in blue boxes for the rest of my life.
Angel: Blue boxes.
Cordelia: Tiffany's! God! And the whole night I was bored silly. All I could think about was, if this wimp saw a monster, he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasle. Turns out, the shoe part was giving him too much credit.
Angel: There aren't very many people who wouldn't run. It's just human nature.
Cordelia: Yeah. ... But all of a sudden "rich and handsome" isn't good enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave and interesting. And it's your fault. Both of you.
Angel: Well, maybe not. Maybe you're changing. That could be a good thing.
Cordelia: Or disastrous. As if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some... badly dressed superhero. [Angel supresses smile] He was really beat up. But you know the first thing he asked? 'Are you okay.' [Angel smiles] I mean, that's, like, substance. Right?
Angel: Well, there's definitely more to Doyle than meets the eye.
Cordelia: So I've gotta kill myself. [Angel stops smiling] I swore, when I went down this road with Xander Harris, I'd rather be dead than date a fixer-upper again.... Still, maybe you're right. Maybe Doyle does have hidden depths. I mean, really, really hidden. But depths! And I kinda have to buy him a mochaccino for saving my life, don't you think?
Angel: Well, I...
Cordelia: Me,too. We'll be back in a half, you watch the phones, okay?
Doyle: Fangs for the memories, vamp man.
[Angel remembers.]
Angel: So you two haven't been in touch at all since you split up?
Doyle: Well, the end was rough. We weren't even twenty when we got married. Crazy about each other. You know when things go wrong and you're young like that, you don't just say, "Hey, thanks for the blender, I wish you well." You fight. You tear each other apart until one of you can't take it. Oh, she did the walking, but she had reason. I wasn't exactly the man she married. I changed.
Harrie: I am only going to ask you this once, Richard. And I expect a straight answer. Were you, or were you not, intending to eat my ex-husband's brains?
Richard: In a way.
Harrie: And when were you planning on telling me?
Richard: I thought maybe I wouldn't have to.
Harrie: You were going to start our life out together with deceit?
Doyle: [to Angel] Sorta missing the point, isn't she?
Harrie: Oh, please, Uncle John. When was the last time you pried yourself away from ESPN long enough to spill the blood of a she-goat?
[A deeply depressed Doyle sits alone in the outer office.]
Cordelia: Well, someone has to go out there and cheer him up. [Angel reluctantly stands] Oh, please. Someone with a heartbeat? [walks over to sofa] Hi, Doyle! Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cause, you know, we already have one of those around the office.
Angel: Hey!
Doyle: Hey!
Cordelia: He can get away with it. He's tall, and... and look at the way clothes hang on him! But you...
Angel: Okay, I think you've cheered us up enough.
Cordelia: You can't live in the past. You gotta move on. Let it go. Forget it. Tomorrow is another day. Did I mention letting it go?
Doyle: Twice.
Cordelia: [sits beside Doyle] You're gonna get through this, Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.
Doyle: ...You think I'm a nice guy?
Cordelia: I think it, I say it. It's my way.

[edit] I Will Remember You

[Buffy visits Angel.]
Doyle: So, that's the Slayer.
Cordelia: That's our little Buffy.
Doyle: Well, she seemed a little...
Cordelia: Bulgarian in that outfit?
Doyle: Naw, I was gonna say 'hurt'.
Cordelia: Yeah, there's a lot of that when they're together. Come on.
[The Oracle accepts Angel's impromptu "gift," telekinetically transporting his wristwatch to her palm.]
Oracle f: I like Time! There's so little and so much of it.
Cordelia: [to Doyle] Let me explain the lore here, okay? They suffer, they fight—that's business as usual. They get groiny with one another—the world as we know it falls apart.
[Buffy has issues with Angel's take-it-slow approach to his newly restored humanity.]
Buffy: You know, it's a good thing I didn't fantasize about you turning human only about ten zillion times... because today would have been a real let-down.
[Doyle and Cordelia contemplate life without Angel's mission.]
Doyle: I'll finally be free to go out and make me own mark in the world.
Cordelia: We had a cat that used to do that. Oh, God! What am I gonna do? I'm good for exactly two things: international superstardom, and helping a vampire with a soul to rid the world of evil. That makes for a short but colorful résumé.
Oracle m: Temporal folds are not to indulge the, the whims of lower beings.
Oracle f: You are wrong. This one is willing to sacrifice every drop of human happiness and love he's ever known for another. He is not a lower being.
Oracle m: ...There is one way. But it is not to be undertaken lightly.
Oracle f: We swallow this day as though it never happened. Twenty-four hours from the moment the demon first attacked you, we take it back.
Angel: Then... none of this happened. Buffy and I... but what'll stop us from doing the exact same thing?
Oracel f: You. You alone will carry the memory of this day. [Angel's eyes fill] Can you carry that burden?
Angel: She'll die. I'm here to beg for her life...
Oracle m: It is not our place to grant life and death.
Angel: Then I ask you to take mine back. Look, I can't protect her or anyone this way. Not as a man.
Oracle f: You're asking to be what you were, a demon with a soul. Because of the Slayer.
Oracle m: This is a matter of love. It does not concern us.
Angel: Yes, it does. The Mohra demon came to take a warrior from your cause and it succeeded. I'm no good to you like this. I know you have it in your power to make this right. Please.
Doyle: Don't you want to wake the girl?
Angel: Not for the world.
Buffy: How am I supposed to move on with my life? Knowing what we had... ...what we could've had.
Buffy: [sobbing] Oh, God! It's not enough time!

[edit] Hero

[Angel just dusts a demon dramatically and then looks to the audience]
Angel': 'You can count on me... 'cause I'm the Dark Avenger.
[Cut to Angel sitting on at his desk, revealing this is all a commercial idea from Cordelia]
Angel: I'm the what?
Doyle: Who needs evil when we've got you?
Cordelia: I heard that!
[Cordelia strong-arms Doyle into reading for her commercial.]
Doyle: 'If you need help, then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best. Our rats are low...'
Cordelia: 'Rates'!
Doyle: It says 'rats'... '...Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on. And that's what you'll find here. Someone who'll go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope. Come on over to our offices, and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world.' ...Is that it? Am I done?
Doyle: Weasel factor, huh?
Cordelia: Oh, Doyle, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I just... I feel kind of hopeless with him down there doing the non-profit brooding. It's not like he has a heart. How could it be so broken?
Doyle: Hey. Is this a private catharsis or can anyone watch?
Angel: What do you want?
Doyle: Well, there's a girl upstairs who's not quite sad enough to cry in my arms, but keep up the dark cloud. I might get lucky.
Doyle: One of us has been drinking, and I'm sorry to say it's not me.
[Doyle returns from a dangerous task.]
Cordelia: You're alive!
Doyle: And you're not happy?
Cordelia: We were worried.
Doyle: Oh! Well, it's all gonna be okay n... [Cordelia slaps him] ...What was that for?
Cordelia: Why didn't you tell me you were half demon? I thought we agreed that secrets are bad!
Doyle: I wanted to tell you. I was afraid. I thought if I did, you'd reject me.
Cordelia: I rejected you way before now! So you're half demon! Big whoop!! I can't believe you'd think I'd care about that. I mean, I work for a vampire! Hel-lo?
Doyle: It's true. I just...
Cordelia: What do you think I am, superficial? I mean, you're half demon. That's so far down the list. Way under 'short.' And 'poor.' Is there anything else I should know?
Doyle: The half demon thing? Pretty much my big secret.
Cordelia: Good. That's out. It's done. Would you ask me out for dinner, already?
Doyle: You were a real, live, flesh and blood human being ...and you and Buffy... ? You had the one thing you wanted in your naturally long life and you gave it back?
Angel: Maybe I was wrong.
Doyle: Maybe Cordelia was right, about you being the real deal in the hero department. See, I would have chosen the pleasures of the flesh over duty and honor any day of the week. I just don't have that strength.
Angel: You never know your strength until you're tested.
Doyle: Come on. You've lived and loved and lost and fought and vanquished inside a day, and I'm still trying to work up the nerve to ask Cordy out for dinner.
Doyle: Well, if it's a fight they want... can't someone else give it to them? [encouraged by his friend's first smile] It just seems so unfair. You've gotta save all the helpless types around here, now you've gotta fight the apocalypse as well?
Angel: [stands up] It's all the same thing. Fight the good fight, whichever way you can.
Doyle: Tell you what. You fight, and I'll keep score.
Doyle: [to Angel] The 'good fight,' yeah? 'You never know until you've been tested.' I get that now. [punches Angel off platform, then turns and kisses Cordelia) Too bad we'll never know... [morphs into demon face] ...if this is a face you could learn to love. [leaps across to Beacon]
Angel: Doyle. Doyle! ...DOYLE!! [Doyle disconnects power coupling, weapon fries the flesh from his bones]

[edit] Parting Gifts

[Angel interviews Barney in his office.]
Barney: You know, I just noticed it's 3:45 in the afternoon. If you're a vampire, why aren't you in your coffin?
Angel: Coffin. I hate that stereotype. You're a demon and you don't know anything about vampires?
Barney: Only what I learned from TV.
Angel: Vampires don't sleep in coffins. It's a misconception made popular by hack writers and ignorant media. [stands] In fact, you know, we can and do move around during the day, as long as we avoid direct sunlight. Got it?!
Barney: Gotten. Sorry. Didn't want to push any sore spots.
[Cordelia enters the office after her audition.)
Angel: Hi. [she doesn't answer and he looks at her more closely] Everything okay? [in one smooth motion, she puts down her bag, reaches for him and kisses him] Hmm. Hmp. Mmghmm! [he puts his hands on her shoulders, gingerly pushing to get her off, trying not to offend her) Okay, uh... Cordelia, that was, uh... I, I think that you're acting out of grief, and you're confusing our... friendship... for something more...
Cordelia: I didn't feel anything. Did you feel anything?
Angel: No! You see, that's what I'm trying...
Cordelia: Urgh! That means I still have it. Damn! I can't believe he did this to me.
Angel: Who did what?
Cordelia: Doyle! I thought our kiss meant something. Instead, he used that moment to pass it on to me. Why couldn’t it be mono or herpes?
Angel: [rubs his mouth] Cordelia...
Cordelia: I didn't ask for this responsibility, unlike some people, who shall remain lifeless. I don’t have anything to atone for. If they know what’s good for them, the PTB better just stay out of my head.
Angel: ...Powers That Be... you had a vision?!
Cordelia: Boy, howdy! And you know how they look painful? Well, they feel a whole lot worse.
Angel: [sits as understanding washes though him] "Another door opens." You’re my link to the Powers now.
Cordelia: I am nobody’s link to anybody. I lost control of my entire central nervous system getting that stupid vision. And I’m not certain, but I might have... drooled... a little in my audition, the first one I’ve had in weeks.
Angel: What was it?
Cordelia: Oh, uh, StainBeGone. It was a national, no less. They’ll probably never call me again...
Angel: [snapping fingers] The vision. What was the vision?
Cordelia: Oh, who cares? It was a thing.
Angel: A thing?
Cordelia: An ugly, grey, blobby, thing. What difference does it make?
Angel: The difference is, if you saw it in a vision, this could be an ugly, grey, blobby, dangerous thing.
Cordelia: I don’t care! I want it out of me. And if kissing is the only way to get rid of it, I will smooch every damn frog in this kingdom. [enter their current client, demon Barney, from the rest room, drying his hands]
Barney: Sorry, I thought I heard voices...
Angel: Uh, Barney, you remember my associate, Cor... [Cordelia kisses Barney] ...delia?
Cordelia: [rubs her mouth] Well, maybe not every frog.
Barney: Boy, I gotta say, I like the way you people treat your clients!
...
Angel: In the meantime, Barney would probably feel safer downstairs. Babysit him 'til I get back.
Cordelia: Where are you going?
Angel: Check out his apartment. He thinks whatever's chasing him knows where he lives. [stops in doorway] Hey. And behave yourself. I don't want to find you two necking on the couch when I get home.
[Angel encounters Wesley, who tried to replace Giles as Buffy's Watcher.]
Wesley: Hello, Angel.
Angel: Wesley.
Wesley: I’ll wager you never thought you’d see me again.
Angel: To tell you the truth, I hadn’t given it much thought one way or the other. What are you...
Wesley: Hup-up-up! [Wesley points his crossbow at Angel's throat] I’m the one asking the questions here. And I think it only fair to warn you, any sudden movement and I’ll be forced to... [Angel casually knocks the crossbow from Wesley’s hands] Right. You had a question?
Wesley: I'm a rogue demon hunter now.
Cordelia: Wow. What's a rogue demon?
[Wesley tries to translate the Kungai's dying gasps.]
Wesley: Hit the cherry? Slam the cherry? Oh no. Oh, dear. Demon. Head? Heart. Reader. [demon expires] He was trying to describe his killer: demon, heart, reader.
Angel: Empath demon. ...Barney.
[In the kitchen, Cordelia and Angel have just shared a moment of silence for Doyle. Angel goes back to scrambling eggs.]
Wesley: Well, I'll be off then. Farewell, Angel. Who knows when our paths will cross again.
Angel: Wesley. [they shake]
Cordelia: Do you even know where you're headed?
Wesley: Rogue demon hunters rarely do. Wherever evil lurks, wherever the forces of darkness threaten humanity, that's where I'll be. [Angel pours a glass of orange juice for Cordelia.]
Cordelia: Oh, okay. Well, keep in touch.
Wesley: Yes. Yes, I will. But now, the evil lurking everywhere bids me onwards! So... I go.
Cordelia: Take care!
Wesley: Yes. [sets foot on first stair, then leans back into hallway] No rest for the wicked fighters. Through storm and rain. Heat. Famine. Deep, painful, gnawing hunger... I go.
Angel: Breakfast?
Wesley: Ooh! [takes off coat] I suppose so!

[edit] Somnambulist

Cordelia: Nobody likes a smartass rogue demon hunter.
Wesley: You've got to make it tight.
Cordelia: Aghh, like I need instructions from you. My glamorous L.A. life—I get to make the coffee and chain the boss to the bed! I gotta join a union.
Angel: Cordelia, I, I think that's tight enough.
Cordelia: And if it turns out that we're back on the liquid lunch? Better safe than cocktails.
[Detective Lockley gives her LAPD search teams the profile she's worked up on their murder suspect (monologue intercut with shots of Angel on the prowl).]
Kate: Our suspect will be a white male. To the observer, he will not seem a monster. His victims put up little or no struggle, so it's likely he's charming, attractive, but at his core he's a loner, possibly a dual personality who, once the crime has been committed, retains no memory of the act. He will not view his vicitms as sub-human, rather it is himself he sees as other than human, more than human—a superior species, stalking his prey, getting to know them. It's unlikely he'll be married, though he may have recently come off a long-term relationship that ended badly. We look for a precipitating event in cases such as this, and a painful break-up is always at the top of our list. Prior to failing, this relationship may have marked an inactive period in our suspect's life. He would have regarded it as a lifeline, his salvation, but once ended, resulted in his recidivism. What is not in question is his experience. He has been doing this for a very long time, and he will do it again.
[Wesley has just shown Cordelia a news clipping about a murdered girl.]
Wesley: I think you'd better sit down. While executing my duties as Watcher in Sunnydale, I did extensive research, specifically on Angel, given his uncomfortable proximity to the Slayer.
Cordelia: He looked pretty comfortable to me.
Wesley: When I saw this story today, it rang chillingly familiar. So, I reacquainted myself with certain facts, confirming, I'm sorry to say, my grim suspicions. In the late 1700s, it was Angelus' custom to sign his victims by carving a Christian cross into their left cheek. He liked to let people know he'd been there.
Cordelia: Okay. You get to leave now. You're not going to come in here and accuse Angel like this.
Wesley: Cordelia...
Cordelia: No! I don't care how many files you have about all the horrible things he did back in the powdered-wig days! He is good now. And he is my friend, and nothing you or anyone else can say will make me turn on a friend!
Angel: Cordelia, he's right.
Cordelia: [to Wes] You stake him and I'll cut his head off.
[Wesley and Cordelia have just chained Angel to his bed for the night.]
Wesley: Well, all we can do now is wait.
Cordelia: Yeah. And, no offense Angel, maybe you are just committing these horrible crimes in your dreams, but even so, I don't want to stick around for your nocturnal commissions.
Angel: I understand.
Cordelia: [pats his sock foot] Well, pleasant... I mean, sleep tight.
Angel: That's pretty much a given. [sighs heavily]
...
Cordelia: Wakee, wakee!
Wesley: We made it!
Cordelia: Great news, sports fans! There's been another killing. ...Okay, maybe not great news for the, you know, dead person, but at least now we know that Mr. I'm-So-Tortured didn't do it!
Angel: Yes I did.
[Angel and Penn engage in mortal combat.]
Penn: Angelus, what's happened to you?
Angel: People change.
Penn: We're not people.
[Cordelia starts in on another version of her sales pitch.]
Cordelia: So, you've discovered the seamy underbelly of the candy-coated America, have you? Well, you've come to the right place. Here at Angel Investigations, we won't judge, but we will charge. Now, if you'll only tell me how you heard of us.
Penn: From the police, actually.
Cordelia: Really!
Penn: Yes. the detective I spoke with was very enthusiastic. For the 'truly human touch,' she said, I should come to you.
Kate: You're telling me children's stories.
Angel: I'm telling you the truth.
Kate: No. I don't believe you.
Angel: I know you don't. Even after what you saw, you won't let yourself. Which is why you'll lose.
Kate: I've heard enough.
Angel: No, you haven't heard a word. [Angel grips Kate's cross pendant in his fist, letting her hear the sizzle and smell the smoke.] And you won't. Not now, not yet. Because there are some things in this world you're just not ready to face.
Angel: Hi. Can I come in?
Kate: Oh, that's right. You have to be invited in, don't you?
Angel: [pause] You've been doing your homework.
Kate: Want to quiz me? I'm just full of fun facts. For instance, I learned that your friend has been in L.A. before, did you know that? Yeah, at least twice. Once in 1929 and again in 1963. Oh, and there was something in Boston in 1908, I think he was there, too.
Angel: So you believe me.
Kate: Yes, I believe you...
Angel: Good, because he's planning something el...
Kate: ...Angelus. Isn't that what he called you? Angelus? I looked it up, it's all right there. The demon with the face of an angel. A particularly brutal bastard, by all accounts. Oh, and no, you can't come in.
Angel: I can't make up for the past, Kate, I know that...
Kate: No, you can't. In fact, all of this? What's happening now? Is because of you. You made him, didn't you?
Angel: Then let me help end it. Please.
Kate: 'Please.' Now there's a word I imagine you heard quite a lot in your time. 'Please.' 'No.' 'Don't.' Thanks for the offer, but I don't need your help. I know what to do. Drive a stake right through the son of a bitch's heart. And when that happens, I suggest you don't be there, because the next time we meet, I'll do the same to you.
[Angel continues to obsesses over the shared dreams he had with serial-killer vampire, Penn.]
Angel: I was just thinking about how much this place is like where I grew up.
Cordelia: Right. Yeah. I could see that. Except for the cars, and the buildings and the, you know, everything else.
Angel: It’s not so different. People moving through their lives. I wonder if anything ever really changes.
Cordelia: Sure it does. They do. You have. They were just dreams, Angel. They weren’t even your dreams. They didn’t mean anything.
Angel: But I enjoyed it.
Cordelia: It’d probably be okay if you never mentioned that part, ever again.
Angel: It’s still in me, Cordelia.
Cordelia: Sure it’s in you. We all have something. But it’s not the only thing that’s in you. You’re not him, Angel. Not anymore. The name I got in my vision, the message didn’t come for Angelus, it came for you. Angel. And you have to trust that whoever The Powers That Be be... are?... is... Anyway, they know the difference.
Angel: Yeah.
Cordelia: People really do change.
Angel: Yes, they do. And sometimes they change back. If the day ever comes that I ...
Cordelia: Oh, I’ll kill you dead!
Angel: [blinks] Thanks.
Cordelia: What are friends for?

[edit] Expecting

Wesley: Hello. I was just in the neighborhood, patrolling with my new Bavarian fighting adze when I suddenly thought, "Perhaps Cordelia has had a vision." Perhaps you need my help in the battle against evil.
Angel: We seem to be evil-free at the moment.
Wesley: I also packed along a Word Puzzle 3-D, if either of you has the nerve to take me on.
Cordelia: Gee, Wesley, I'd love to... but unlike you, I'm not in my eighties quite yet.
Wesley: If shaking your booty at the latest trendy hot spot is your idea of a life, then call me... [Cordy's gorgeous friends Serena and Emily enter] ...sick with envy.
Serena: [to Wesley] Hi. I'm Serena. Nice ax.
Wesley: Oh, no, this old thing? [accidentally embeds weapon in wall]
Angel: So, you're seeing someone? How come I haven't met him?
Cordelia: 'Cause I'm ashamed of you, not to mention how you'd embarrass me by giving him the third degree.
Emily: Your boss could give me the third degree anytime.
Cordelia: Oh, um... so... [collapses and convulses; Angel and Wesley try to distract Serena and Emily so they won't notice Cordelia having vision]
Angel: [pushes some mail off desk] Um, uh, Cordelia! Grab that file.
Wesley: [bending to pick up mail] Don't worry. Heh Heh. Whoopsie! [straightens up]
Angel: Lounge La Brea. Sounds like that could be an evening with all sorts of evening type... I heard the bands there are...
Serena: They don't have bands.
Angel: Which I like, 'cause if it's too loud...
Emily: Wanna come?
Angel: Oh, I think I may be busy. [flash of Cordelia's vision] Besides, um, I don't, um, lounge... all that well.
Wesley: [loud laugh] Good one. Oh, yes, no. He's no lounger, this one. [throws arm across Angel's shoulders] Hmm-mmm.
Serena: [aside to Emily] The good ones are always gay. Cor, tick-tock. [Cordelia shakily stands]
Angel: [asking about her vision] So, that client I'm supposed to be meeting tonight... What's he like again?
Cordelia: Like a big baby hatching from a big egg, with really large hands, in need of a manicure. You're meeting him here. [writes down address, then moves toward door with girls]
Serena: Okay. Are my girls ready to party?
[Cordelia wakes up hugely pregnant, with Wilson nowhere to be found.]
Angel: Have you talked to Wilson?
Cordelia: No. What would I say to him? "I had a really nice time, I think you left something at my place"?
Bartender: [after being interrogated by Angel] What are you, her boyfriend?
Angel: No, I'm family.
Wilson: [after Angel encounters him at a shooting range] You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that in here. That’s how accidents happen.
Angel: Speaking of accidents. I’m a friend of Cordelia Chase.
Wilson: This is a private club. Featured word – ‘private’.
Angel: You don’t talk to me, I’ll kick your ass. Featured word - ‘ass’.
Cordelia: This producer was so nice. He said that I'm his first choice. We're going out to dinner tonight.
Angel: Uh huh. Tonight.
Cordelia: [busy at desk] Mm hmm.
Wesley: Well. Best to get back on the horse, I suppose. If he seems...
Cordelia: [busy at file cabinet] He is so sweet. He says that all I have to do is let him impregnate me with his demon master's seed and I've got the part. [glances over shoulder; Angel and Wes finally see she's teasing] Guys. I appreciate the concern, but I am okay. I mean, it was an ordeal, but I got through it. And I'm a lot stronger than those loser demon surrogates thought.
Angel: I'm starting to learn that.
Cordelia: I learned something, too. I learned, um, men are evil? Oh wait, I knew that. I learned that L.A.'s full of self-serving phonies? Nope, had that one down, too. Uh, sex is bad?
Angel: We all knew that.
Cordelia: Okay. I learned that I have two people I trust absolutely with my life... and that part's new.

[edit] She

[Angel dutifully attends Cordelia's party.]
Cordelia: Hi! You having fun?
Angel: Sure. This is... um...
Cordelia: Your idea of hell.
Angel: Actually, in hell you tend to know a lot of the people.
[Angel escapes into Cordelia's kitchen.]
Dennis: [pulls out chair]
Angel: Hi, Dennis. [sits] How you doing?
Dennis: [moves beverage from ice bucket to tabletop]
Angel: Still dead?
Dennis: [pops open can, slides it over]
Angel: [sips] I know the feeling.
Laura: So with my Masters degree in Fine Arts, I was able to launch my very own business – selling sandwiches downtown from a little cart.
Angel: Huh.
Laura: Yeah. I-I do see a lot of stuff on the job. – So I tell myself that I’m honing my eye.
Angel [smiling]: Makes sense.
[A different song comes on and Laura sets down her drink.]
Laura [starting to make dance moves and wearing a big smile]: Oh, I *love* this. (Angel looks around) Would you - like to dance?
[Camera zooms in on Angel’s eye. Flash to white, then to Angel doing some exaggerated wild dancing and making faces while Laura is staring at him with her mouth hanging open. Flash back to white and to Angel’s face.]
Angel: I don’t dance.
[The day after the party.]
Cordelia: I'm so glad you came. You know how parties are. You're always worried that no one's going to suck the energy out of the room like a giant black hole of boring despair. But there you were in the clinch!
Angel: I didn't... Boring?
Cordelia: You used to be a person! Did you never party? Did people not gather in olden times?
Angel: I talked to people. Laura.
Cordelia: Okay, Laura thought you hated her. I had to tell her you were challenged.
Angel: I don't hate her. I, I've got two modes with people: bite and avoid. Hard to shift. Plus, I can't get too close. I mean, with women...
Cordelia: You can be nice. It's not like Laura's gonna throw you down on the living room floor and tear off all of your... Well, actually, Laura...
Angel: I'll try harder. Still, I mean, the quiet, reserved thing, don't you think it makes me kind of... I don't know, cool?
Cordelia: [points at Wesley, just entering] He... was cooler.
Angel: [sits down hard on sofa] Now I'm depressed.
Angel: He's not from our dimension.
Wesley: Ah. They must come to ours via portals.
Cordelia: Portals? There are portals now? When did they put in portals? Don't we have enough on our hands without burning, monster-fiends coming here?
(About cell phones.)
Angel: These things were definitely cooked up by a bored warlock.
Angel: And this brings us to Manet's incomparable La Music Aux Tuileries. First exhibited in 1863. On the left one spies the painter himself. In the middle distance is the French poet and critic Baudelaire, a friend of the artist. Now, Baudelaire, interesting fellow. In his poem Le vampire he wrote: "Thou who abruptly as a knife didst come into my heart." He, ah, strongly believed that evil forces surrounded mankind and some even speculated that the poem was about a real vampire. Oh and, ah, Baudelaire was actually a little taller and a lot drunker than he is depicted here.
Angel: But you escaped.
Jheira: I was the first. I am Jheira. ...Jheira of Oden Tal? My family rules the dimension.
Angel: I'm guessing the royal family isn't loving the portal-jumping, refugee-aiding duties you've assigned yourself.
Jheira: They tell the people I'm dead.
Angel: Try me.
Jheira: In Oden Tal, what you call the personality, our passions, these impulses sit in an area of the body we call the "ko." [turns to show ridges along upper spine]
Angel: And your pursuers. They want to take this from you?
Jheira: From the women, yes. Once females come of age, the ko controls our physical and sexual power. It even signals when we are... aroused, and have met desirable mates. But when it is removed...
Angel: You're more easily controlled.
Jheira: They are at the men's command, they serve without questioning. [circles him again] We leave behind dreaming. [...] But here, we have a name. We have a chance to become. But it's difficult. When the ko first matures, the girls can't manage it, our physical energy. [moves closer, whispers] We come to your world in a fever.
Angel: That's why... the ice...
Jheira: Yes. When I first arrived, alone, I thought I would die from the heat [ko glows red] under my skin. And your people, the men, some respond to the ko involuntarily, try to force themselves... It wasn't safe for me, until I found the frozen water. [sits] As long as I could stay cool, the worst of it passed in a few months' time. Then I started to learn to control my power.
Jheira: I am daughter to a king, sir. A king who promised happiness and a better life for everyone. I didn't denounce him and escape for my good alone. I did it to see his promise come true for all the women in Oden Tal. But if a few have to die in order to protect my people...
Angel: It's my people who are dying, and it's my promise to protect them.
Jheira: Then tell them to stay out of my way. [turns to leave]
Angel: [circles in front of her] Wait...
Jheira: [heats up but pulls punch, struggles for control, pulls away] You, too. I don't need your help.
Angel: Here's the plan: We go in, I start hitting people hard in the face, see where it takes us.

[edit] I've Got You Under My Skin

[Oven timer dings. Wes checks his sole.]
Cordelia: [off] They're done! Nobody touch.
Angel: I think she's making brownies.
Wesley: Oh, is that what I smell. I thought I tracked something in.
Cordelia: [enters] The recipe was handed down to me from my mother, who got it from her housekeeper, plus I improvised a little. You're gonna love 'em!
Wesley: Me?!
Cordelia: Uh huh!
Wesley: Doesn't Angel have to... get to... try any?
Cordelia: They're brownies full of nutty goodness, not red blood cells.
Wesley: Oh. I wasn't thinking. More of a drinker than an eater, I suppose.
Cordelia: [having difficulty cutting] Maybe if you'd branch out into the solids he'd keep a decent knife around. [starts to hack in pan with special enchanted Keck knife]
Wesley: [shooting to feet] That is not appropriate! It's for killing extinct demons! Angel, make her stop!!
Angel: [smiling] Cordelia...
Wesley: That blade is very old! Who knows what kind of corrosive effect your cooking may have on it?
Cordelia: [brandishing knife] 'Corrosive effect'?
Angel: Cordelia, just.. put down the very sharp knife...
Wesley: Well, they don't smell right.
Cordelia: I think Mr. Too-Much-Cologne is the pot calling the kettle stinky.
Cordelia: Pretend to read any good books lately?
Angel: Cordelia. I thought you went home.
Cordelia: [sits] You called him 'Doyle.'
Angel: It... just happened. I hope Wesley's okay with it.
Cordelia: Oh, who cares about him. This is about Doyle. You never say his name.
Angel: I say it.
Cordelia: No, you don't. Look, you don't have to be Joe-stoic about his dying. I mean, I know that you have this unflappable vibe working for you, but you don't have to do that for me.
Angel: I'm not unflappable.
Cordelia: Great! So... flap.
Angel: [stands, walks to window, turns] ... ... I miss him.
Cordelia: [smiles] Me, too.
Angel: I've been around death before. A lot. I've lost people, I've killed people...
Cordelia: And you are dead. ...Sorry.
Angel: It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have let it happen.
Cordelia: Angel, it wasn't your fault. It hurts.
Angel: Yeah.
Cordelia: What is this stuff, anyway? Kind of pretty.
Wesley: It's the bodily excretion of an Ethros demon.
Cordelia: No one could have said "demon poo" before I touched it?
Cordelia: (to the Andersons) We can watch or play cards. You'll get caught up, won't even hear your son's pain.
[Angel and Wesley track a vicious Ethros demon deep into dark basalt sea caves.]
Wesley: Angel, before we go any further, I, I just want to assure you, in as much as we'll be fighting side by side... What that demon said before...
Angel: I know you're not planning to kill me, Wesley. But you're willing to. And that's good! Now, come on.
Ethros Demon: Do you know what the most frightening thing in the world is? Nothing. That's what I found in the boy. No conscience, no fear, no humanity. Just a black void. I couldn't control him. I couldn't get out. I never even manifested him until you brought me forth. I just sat there and watched as he destroyed everything around him. Not from a belief in evil, not for any reason at all...That boy's mind was the blackest hell I've ever known.

[edit] The Prodigal

Liam: Anna, come closer.
Anna: Master Liam, your father...
Liam: He'll be off to church by now, repenting of his sins. And well he should. Closer, Anna!
Anna: Why do ye keep to the shadows, sir? Are ye not well?
Liam: The light... it bothers my eyes just now.
Father: And I know the reason why! [kicks Liam out into the sunlight] Up again all night, is it? Drinking and whoring! I can smell the stink of it on you!
Liam: And a 'good morning' to you, Father.
Father: You're a disgrace.
Liam: If you say so, Father.
Father: Oh, I do. I do say so. Have you not had enough debauchery for one night? Must you corrupt the servants as well?
Liam: 'Servant,' Father. We have one servant. Anyway, everyone gets corrupted. But I find some forms of corruption are more pleasant... [rocks back as hard open-handed slap catches him full force]
Father: I'm ashamed to call you my son. A lay-about and a scoundrel. You'll never amount to anything more than that.
[Liam silently wipes blood from the corner of his mouth.]
Kate: No. You don't get to do that.
Angel: What?
Kate: Kill a demon in front of me, then act like we're going to have a cappucino together. It doesn't work that way.
Angel: How does it work?
Kate: I'm not convinced it does. Look, no offense, I think you're probably a decent guy for a... you know what you are. But let's keep it strictly businesss, all right? We don't get personal. I'm not your girlfriend.
[Liam brawls with manic abandon.]
Darla: Who is he?
Bar maid: Who, that one?
Darla: Yes. He's magnificent.
Bar maid: Ooh yah, God's gift, all right.
Darla: Really! I've never known God to be so generous.
Bar maid: Oh, his lies sound pretty when the stars are out, but he forgets every promise he's made when the sun comes up again.
Darla: That wouldn't really be a problem for me, actually.
Cordelia: Pay attention! All you have to do is decide what the code will be.
Angel: Code.
Cordelia: For the security system we just had installed. [waves instruction booklet] Hello? What have we been talking about, anyway?
Angel: I don't...
Cordelia: Come on. The installation guy said it should be something easy to remember, like my birthday.
Angel: I don't know your birthday.
Cordelia: Yeah, tell me something you don't know that I don't know. But after eleven and a half months of punching it in to this, you won't have any excuses.
Angel: I want to take a look at them anyway, and I think that we should start with that delivery guy, the man who pulled the emergency brake? He said the thing was just coming after...
Kate: It is still dead, right?
Angel: Yeah...
Kate: Good. You told me to forget about it. I'd like to.
Angel: I think, uh...
Kate: Angel. There's nothing here. Your not-evil evil thing was just evil, okay? Now can't we just leave it at that?
...
Wesley: I suppose one can't blame her for being skittish about the topic.
Angel: I guess so. I don't know. Ever since she ran me through with a two-by-four things have been different.
Angel: I will find out what's going on, sir. I'm just telling you that now out of respect for Kate.
Trevor: Are you threatening me, son?
Angel: ...No. I'm trying to protect your daughter.
Trevor: 'Protect my daughter.' From what?
Angel: From finding out the reason you were [at the crime scene] today wasn't because you cared about her.
Trevor: ...You got any kids, Angel?
Angel: No.
Trevor: Right. Then don't think you can know how a father feels, or why he does the things he does.
Father: Go through [that door], but don't ever expect to come back.
Liam: As you wish, Father. Always, just as you wish.
Father: It's a son I wished for. A man. Instead, God gave me you, a terrible disappointment.
Kate: Why the sudden urge to have lunch?
Trevor: Lunch time, ain't it?
Kate: Right. So you drive all the way out here for a hot dog.
Trevor: Not just a hot dog. One of Manny's. Best there is.
Kate: Right. I'll let you and Manny catch up, then.
Trevor: And... I thought I could spend a little time with my daughter. [Kate's eyes widen. She sits.] So. You been good?
Kate: Yeah! Yeah, good. [takes bite]
Trevor: And, ah, how's Angel?
Kate: [coughs around mouthful] Pardon me?
Trevor: Tall, good looking fella you brought to my retirement party.
Kate: Yeah, I know who you mean.
Trevor: That ain't a Mexican name, is it? 'Angel'?
Kate: ...I don't think so.
Trevor: You two still seeing each other?
Kate: We were never 'seeing each other,' Daddy.
Trevor: What's wrong with him?
Kate: Nothing.
Trevor: Must be something wrong with him. He married?
Kate: No.
Trevor: 'West Hollywood'?
Kate: Daddy, no! Angel's just... not my type. Or I'm not his type. There's definitely a type involved, and it's the wrong one.
Trevor: He got a job?
Kate: Yeah, he's a P.I.
Trevor: 'Private Investigator.' He any good?
Kate: Yeah, he's good. Very good. And he doesn't mind working nights.
Trevor: That's good. That's good that he's good.
Kate: You came all the way down here to talk about a guy you saw me out with once?
Trevor: Well... he made an impression.
Kate: Do you like him?
Trevor: No, not really.
Kate: Oh. Then what's this all about?
Trevor: Nothing. Just, just, uh... It's not good to be alone, Katie.
[Kate stares silently at her father.]
[Cordy comes into AI, where Wesley is dissecting demon organs.]
Cordelia: Move your entrails.
Angel: So you're back...
Cordelia: Very good, Mr. I-Can't-Tail-The-Suspect-During-The-Day-Because-I-Might-Burst-Into-Flames-Private-Eye.
Cordelia: Oh, five, two, two. There, see?
Wesley: Right. So, now we should be protected by a 'state of the art home and workplace security designed to attractively complement any room, home or office tee em.'
Cordelia: Exactly. Which means no lurky minions of hell get in here without us knowing about it first.
Angel: [popping around doorjamb] Sun'll be down soon.
Angel: I'm going to head out to that exotic car warehouse. See what I can find out.
Wesley: [starts to move] You'll want backup.
Angel: No, not this time. This is strictly recon. I need to know exactly what we're dealing with before I make any moves.
Wesley: Right you are. A deliberate, cautious approach would be the most sensible plan. 'Fools rush in.'
Cordelia: No, he wants you to stay here.
Angel: What's this?
Kate: The list of those names you asked for. The passengers on the train?
Angel: Right. Thank you. What made you change your mind?
Kate: Something my father said, actually.
Angel: Your father.
Kate: Yeah. He asked if you were good.
Angel: 'Good.'
Kate: At what you do. I said you were.
Angel: Thanks.
Kate: No matter how uncomfortable I am with certain... circumstances, I can't let myself ignore your instincts.
Angel: I appreciate that.
Kate: And I'd like to be involved.
Angel: ...What?
Kate: With the case. You find anything, you bring me in, okay?
Angel: Are you, uh... You sure about that?
Kate: Gotta face those demons sometime, right?
Angel: Right.
Wesley: Angel, I understand you want to protect Detective Lockley from learning about her father's questionable associations, but you've already warned him once and, frankly, even that may have been too much.
Angel: I already warned him about me, Wesley, and now he needs to understand the real nature of what he's working for.
Wesley: If he doesn't already know.
Angel: He doesn't know. He can't.
Wesley: Perhaps. Still, at the very least, he must realize he's in league with someone who, if not criminal, is most certainly unethical. It's his choice.
Angel: Yeah, I know all about it, Wesley, believe me. But sometimes the price we end up paying for one bad choice isn't commensurate with the offense.
Angelus: Strange. Somehow you seemed taller when I was alive.
Father: Lord, bind this demon now.
Angelus: To think I ever let such a tiny, trembling thing make me feel the way you did.
Father: [crosses himself] Deliver me under thy protection, Father.
Angelus: You told me I wasn't a man. You told me I was nothing. And I believed you. You said I'd never amount to anything. You were wrong. [vamps] You see, Father. I have made something of myself after all.
Angel: Kate, uh, I know what happened to your father...
Kate: My father was human. And you don't know anything about that.
Darla: This contest is ended, is it.
Angelus: Now I've won.
Darla: Are you sure?
Angelus: Of course. I proved who had the power here.
Darla: You think?
Angel: [stands] What?
Darla: Your victory over him took but moments.
Angelus: [looks back at his dead father] Yes?
Darla: But his defeat of you will last lifetimes.
Angelus: What are you talking about? He can't defeat me now.
Darla: Nor can he ever approve of you, in this world, or any other. What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our hearts, even if they no longer beat. Simple death won't change that.
Angelus: Love. [looks around at his dead family] Is this the work of love?
Darla: Darling boy. So young, still so very young.
Angel: About that demon from this morning...
Kate: [rolling eyes] Look, if you insist on talking about this stuff, could you please not say that word? [shuts door, closes blinds] It makes me... It makes me... I don't know... just... uncomfortable. Just say 'evil thing,' okay?
Angel: Sure, yeah. I understand.
Kate: Thanks. Anyway, I thought you were going to take care of it.
Angel: It's being taken care of. It's just that the, ah, evil thing... It turns out it wasn't an evil thing.
Kate: The evil thing wasn't an evil thing.
Angel: Well, it was an evil thing, in terms of that word, it just wasn't an evil evil thing.
Kate: There are not-evil evil things?
Angel: Well... ...yeah.
Kate: [looks at him] All right. Sorry.
Angel: Never trust an evil evil thing.

[edit] The Ring

[Cordelia checks a lead on an on-line demon database.]
Cordelia: There are some ugly critters in here. Someone ought to create an intra-demon dating base. You know, like archfiend.org, where the lonely and the slimy connect. I was just joking, Mister Grouchy-Pants. When was the last time you had a dating base?
Wesley: For your information, I lead a rich and varied social life.
Cordelia: Oh, I know. Every night it’s Jeopardy, followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out, girls, this one can’t be tamed!

[edit] Eternity

[The episode starts from a black screen.]
Wesley: We're doomed.
Angel: Maybe we can make a break for it.
Wesley: Impossible.
Angel: Front exit?
Wesley: We'd be spotted instantly.
Angel: Back door?
Wesley: Blocked.
Angel: That's it, then. We're trapped.
Wesley: We could try shouting fire... [seats in a theater are shown] It's not technically a crowded theater.
Cordelia: [performing Henrik Ibsen's "A Doll's House" on stage] 'One day, I might, yes. Many years from now, when I've lost my looks a little. Do not laugh.'
Wesley: [checks his watch] Only another hour.
Cordelia: 'I mean of course, a time will come when Torvald is not... is not...' ..Line??
Prompter: [whispers] 'is not as devoted to me'.
Wesley: Perhaps two.
Cordelia: What??
Prompter: [whispers] 'is not as devoted to me'.
Cordelia: 'is not as devoted to me.' [adds dramatic sob]
Angel: And I thought I knew Eternity.
Angel: I'm not what you think.
Rebecca: You're not? Because... no reflection, dark private office, instantly knowing those letters weren't written in blood... I guess what I would think is "vampire".
Angel: Then again...
Rebecca: Which is impossible. Bela Lugosi, Gary Oldman, they're vampires.
Angel: Frank Langella was the only performance I believed, but...
Rebecca: This is real. You're real. Do you drink blood?
Angel: Yeah. But not human.
Rebecca: You're not a killer.
Angel: I gave that up.
Rebecca: Well, there's a support group for everything in this town, I guess.
Rebecca: A season and a half off the air and suddenly I'm nobody again.
Angel: [holding up some tabloids] Not according to these.
Rebecca: According to those, I've slept with Ernest Borgnine and I'm bulimic.
Angel: I hear Borgnine's a very skilled lover.
[Rebecca wants Angel's help to protect her]
Angel: I can't take your case.
Cordelia: [from the outer office] Are you insane?!
[Angelus is in vamp face, talking to Rebecca Lowell.]
Angelus: Tell you what, I'll torture you for a few unbelievably long hours, then you can you tell me if this is the lifestyle for you.
Angelus: They always mistake me for the character I play! They never see the real me!
Rebecca: You're just trying to scare me.
Angelus: Is it working?
[After a drug-induced few hours as Angelus, Angel wakes up chained to his bed.]
Cordelia: Are you still evil?
Angel [sighs]: I'm so sorry.
Cordelia [skeptical]: Could I get another reading on that line, please?
...
Wesley: It was the drugs. Couldn't be helped. Things were said, it's true, but I think it's best if we simply put it behind us. Move on.
Angel: Thank you.
Wesley: You walk a fine line, Angel. I don't envy you.
...
[Among Angelus' dastardly deeds was a savage, if accurate, critique of Cordelia's acting.]
Angel: Cordelia —
Cordelia: OK, here's something I never thought I would say to you: Wesley's right. Forget about it.
Angel: But I really didn't mean —
Cordelia: Yes, you did. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to weasel out of it. Angelus may not be the most relaxing company, but at least he's honest. Shouldn't I expect the same from the not-evil version of my friends?
Angel: So, we're OK, then?
Cordelia: I'm way too big of a person to let something so petty get in the way of our friendship.
Angel: I appreciate that. [a pause] You're not gonna untie me, are you?
Cordelia: Pfft! [she exits]
Angel: Wesley? Cordelia? Guys? [cut to credits]

[edit] Five by Five

Angel: Your name Marqeez? [Marquez nods] Good, I hate saving the wrong guy.
Cordelia: You can always tell when he's happy. His scowl? A little less scowly.
Angel: [regarding Faith] I thought she was in a coma.
Cordelia: Pretty lively coma.
[Faith has Wesley gagged and tied to a chair.]
Faith: We've only done one of the five basic torture groups. We've done blunt, but that still leaves sharp, hot, cold, and loud.
...
Faith: Face it, Wesley, you really were a jerk. Always walking around like you had a great big stake shoved up your English Channel.
...
Faith: [removes Wesley's gag] I wanna hear you scream.
Wesley: You never will.
...
Faith: Come on, Wesley. Where's that stiff upper lip?
...
Wesley: I was your watcher Faith, I know the real you. But even if you kill me there is just one thing I want you to remember.
Faith: What's that love?
Wesley: You are a piece of shi...
Faith: You should talk. I guess I'll have to try a little harder huh?

[edit] Sanctuary

Angel: [To Cordelia] Doughnuts?
Wesley: Developed a sweet fang, have you?
Angel: [to Cordy] You get jelly?
Cordelia: Whole selection.
Wesley: Won't she find it difficult, enjoying delicious jelly-filled doughnuts, if she is—one assumes—bound and gagged?
Angel: Wesley, we went through all this last night.
Wesley: Yes, you were right. The police would be ill equipped to hold a Slayer against her will. I understand why you chose not to turn her over to them. I do not, however, understand why the woman who brutally tortured me last night, this morning gets PASTRIES!
Angel: You should be resting.
Faith: I've been asleep for 8 months. You rest.
Faith: You gonna step aside or do we throw down?
Faith: I gotta be the first slayer in history to be sponsored by a vampire.
Buffy: So you decided to punish her with a severe cuddling?!
Buffy: You apologize to me, I will beat you to death.
Buffy: You hit me!
Angel: Not to go all schoolyard on you, but you hit me first.
Buffy: You hit me for her.
Angel: You were about ten seconds away from beating her down.
Buffy: I had a right to it!
Wesley: (after knocking out one of the operatives) That's for calling me a ponce!
Angel: Buffy, this wasn't about you. This was about saving somebody's soul. That's what I do here and you're not a part of it.
Buffy: I have someone in my life now, that I love. It's not what you and I had, it's very new. You know what makes it new? I trust him, I know him.
Angel: That's great, it's nice. You moved on, I can't; You found someone new. I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again, it cuts me up inside, and the only person I share that with is me. You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and expect me to do things your way. Go home.
Buffy: See? Faith wins again.
Angel: [huskily] Go.
...
Angel: [to Wesley] For a taciturn, shadowy guy, I've got a big mouth.

[edit] War Zone

[The Angel Investigations team is at the home of a wealthy new client.]
Cordelia: Oh, I've missed that smell!
Wesley: Camembert, I believe.
Cordelia: What? No, money. I like to smell a little money once in a while.
Angel: She's not just saying that. Hide some in the office sometime and watch her. It's uncanny.
David Nabbit: Are you familiar with Dungeons & Dragons?
Angel: Yeah. I've seen a few.
Wesley: You mean the, uh, role-playing game.
Angel: Oh. Game. Right.
Gunn: You show your face down here again, don't count on any long goodbyes.
[After a combat-filled night, Angel gets bandaged up by Cordelia.]
Cordelia: You should rest. You look...
Angel: Like I've been beaten and stabbed?
Gunn: I don't need advice from no middle-class white dude that's dead!
[Wesley has noted that conditions Gunn and his friends live in "...puts things in perspective."]
Cordelia: I think, perspectively speaking, I might want to prostitute myself to billionaire David Nabbit.
Wesley: [coughing] Cordelia...
Cordelia: What I mean is... he's a nice guy who wants companionship. I could use some security. So when I say "prostitute", what I mean is...
Wesley: Prostitute.
Cordelia: For instance.
Wesley: Do you think you really could?
Cordelia: I don't know. I could probably learn to love him. Looks aren't everything... or chemistry. Personality, that's important. And except for a lot of other... it's not what's on the outside that... yeah. Never mind. I'm fine here.
Gunn: What are you doing here?
Angel: Skulking. Professionally.
...
Gunn: How come you do it? How come you're out here?
Angel: What else are we gonna do? I'll be around.
Gunn: I don't need no help.
Angel: I might.

[edit] Blind Date

Wesley: Demons with one eye, demons with twelve eyes, some with double vision. No blind demons. Perhaps Angel's discovered a new species.
Cordy: What, Helen Kellerus Homicidalus?
Lindsey: Well, our files aren't a hundred percent, but I guess it's fair to say you've never seen anything like real poverty. I'm talking dirt poor. No shoes, no toilet, six of us kids in one room. And come flu season it was down to four. I was seven when they took the house. They just came right in and took it. And my daddy's being nice, you know? Joking with the bastards while he signs the deed. So yeah, we had a choice. You got stepped on or you got to stepping. And I swore to myself that I was not gonna be the guy standing there with a stupid grin on my face while my life got dribbled out.
Angel: [pretends to jolt awake] I'm sorry, I nod