Dragon Ball: Commander Red Saga

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Dragon Ball is a Japanese anime that originally aired in Japan from February 26, 1986 - April 12, 1989 on Fuji TV. It is based on the original manga series established by Akira Toriyama. The English dub started in 1995 by FUNimation, which has partnered up with Trimark, for the first 13 episodes, then redubbed in August 20, 2001, along with the other 140 episodes, for a total of 153 episodes.

Commander Red Saga

The Land of Korin

General Blue: What I wouldn't give for some conditioner. This heat is absolutely murdering my hair! Grr! It's that little runt's fault that I'm stranded out here like this! I promise, he is going to pay for every single split end!

Captain Yellow: (looking into a volcano with his binoculars to see a Dragon Ball) Well, how about that. Stop the presses, ye done somethin' right fer once!
Soldier: I don't know how we're going to retrieve it from the-
Captain Yellow: The helicopter, imbecile! We take the helicopter into the volcano!
Soldier: Yes, sir.

Captain Yellow: Well, I can't believe anyone would live out here by choice!
Bora: Who are you?
Captain Yellow: Oh, yes. I'm Captain Yellow o' the Red Ribbon Army. We'll be setting up our mobile headquarters right here.
Bora: Here?
Captain Yellow: Yep. And there's plenty o' work to go around so we can put a big fella like you ta good use!
Bora: No thanks.
Captain Yellow: Grr...
Bora: You must leave. This is no place for people like you. Now go.
Captain Yellow: Grr... I wasn't askin' for your permission! (pulls out his gun)

Bora: Guns are but useless toys. Get me my spear, Upa.

Soldier: It looks like the boy has almost reached Captain Yellow's location.
Commander Red: Of course! He's just in time... ta mess things up!

The Notorious Mercenary

General Blue: I have returned to duty, sir?
Commander Red: How could you come back here?
General Blue: Well it was quite a hassle. I was forced to steal a plane and a car and...
Commander Red: That's not what I meant! You failed to get the dragon ball from the kid!! And you have the nerve to come here empty handed!
General Blue: But he's. Tricky.
Commander Red: I don't need your excuses!
General Blue: But Commander, I was able to confiscate the Dragon Radar from him, and here it is. It easily hones in on the Dragon Ball location and it's extremely accurate, too.
Staff Officer Black: It's smaller than I expected
General Blue: it will take me no time to secure all the dragon balls with the device. He he.
Commander Red: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. A good find I'll give you that, but I recall, your assignment was to get the DRAGON BALLS!!
General Blue: Uh.
Commander Red: (to General Blue) Ya know how it works around here. Those who cannot achieve results are punished. And severely.
General Blue: Ah! No.
(General Blue drops the radar and breaks down)
Commander Red: However, since you've been of value to us in the past, I'll give you a chance to save yourself.
General Blue: How?
Commander Red: I will be willing to let you live if you fight Mercenary Tao here and defeat him.
General Blue: Mercenary Tao?
Mercenary Tao: Mmmhmm?
Commander Red: So what do ya think. You're in?
General Blue: Yes. I'm in. Thank you for the opportunity, commander. He he he he.

General Blue: So you're the world famous assassin. The one they call Mercenary Tao.
Mercenary Tao: Do you want my autograph?
General Blue: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, aren't you amusing? I suppose I'll have to put an end to your arrogance.
Mercenary Tao: (to Commander Red) I don't work for free. This will cost you. Understand?
Commander Red: That's fine. Lets get on with the show.
General Blue: You should have a weapon handy, you know? Just in case.
Mercenary Tao: Hmph. I won't even need my hands and feet. I'll just use my tongue to beat you.
General Blue: Heh. I wouldn't count on it. Heh heh heh.
Staff Officer Black: Begin!
General Blue: Heh heh heh heh heh heh. Rahh!!! (General Blue swipes and kicks at Mercenary Tao, who dodges his attacks) Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa! (Mercenary Tao appears behind General Blue and startles him) Huh!? Heh. Not bad. Now, try this. (General Blue tries to use his telekinetic hold with his eyes against Tao) Eheh heh heh. Well, how do you like being paralyzed? Haaa... (Mercenary Tao cracks his neck, proving that the paralysis had no effect on him) Ah!!!
Mercenary Tao: Excuse me. What was that?
General Blue: Impossible.
Commander Red: (surprised) Ah! General Blue's finishing move is completely useless! It's astounding!
General Blue: Grr...grr...grr...grr...grr...
Mercenary Tao: Mmm...
General Blue: Yahhh!!!! (General Blue lunges at Mercenary Tao) Yah! (Tao dodges his attack and pierces General Blue's brain with his tongue) Ah...ah...ah...ah...ah...ah... (General Blue collapses and dies)
Mercenary Tao: Mmm... I'd say you've got that problem licked.
Commander Red: (surprised) He killed... him with... one strike.
Staff Officer Black: (surprised) I can't believe it. He definitely lives up to his reputation.
Mercenary Tao: Now... Since playtime is over, why don't you tell me about the real target so I can finally get to work.

Mercenary Tao: I will annihilate any man, woman, or child as long as the price is right.
Staff Officer Black: You're a good man.

Mercenary Tao: Pleased to kill you.
Goku: Uh...
Bora: What are you doing? You nearly hit us!
Mercenary Tao: Heh. Well, that's the idea. I'm a hitman.

Mercenary Tao: The Red Ribbon Army has sent me here to tie up some loose ends.

Tao Attacks!

Mercenary Tao: That's all? Piece of cake.

Mercenary Tao: (about Goku) Well, the boy at least takes a better beating than most.

Mercenary Tao: (to Goku) So, you're back on your feet. I would advise against that.

Mercenary Tao: (after his clothes were damaged by Goku's Kamehameha) You ruined my outfit.
Goku: You're still standing?
Mercenary Tao: Dodon Ray! (blasts Goku causing the symbol to burn a hole on it, as his pole falls off)

Mercenary Tao: Ha ha ha ha! You should thank me for letting you live. Little boy. (throws the pillar, picks up the backpack and starts going to Arabia)
Mercenary Tao: (after Tao hands the tailor a blueprint for his costume) I want it to look like this. Every stitch. Every detail. Every thing.
Tailor: Okay... uh... come back in... ten days.
Mercenary Tao: Grr... no. You have... mm... three...
Tailor: Three days? That's impossible. Sir.
Mercenary Tao: Oh, you'll find a way. Now I need something to wear. (Tao puts on a temporary robe) This'll do.
Tailor: Oh, yes. Make yourself at home.
Mercenary Tao: Now. Get started. I have a schedule to keep.
Tailor: Yes, I've heard about your work. Now that I think about it, three days is plenty. Please, call me if you need anything. Anything at all.
Mercenary Tao: Where's your telephone?
Tailor: Oh. It's right over here.

(Mercenary Tao calls on Commander Red on the Phone, later in the headquarters)

Soldier: Commander Red, Mercenary Tao on line one.
Commander Red: Hm. (picks up the phone) Tao, where have you been? How did it go? Did you take care of the boy nuisance.
Mercenary Tao: Of course. Everything you asked. I have to stop a bit of an errand, but I'll be there in a few days to deliver your prize and collect my fee.
Commander Red: The brat's really gone, huh?
Mercenary Tao: That's right. And I except cash only.
Commander Red: Yeah, I got it. Now, are you absolutely sure you've collected all four of the dragon balls?
Mercenary Tao: What? There are only three. One short. Check the boy's body. He probably had one of the dragon balls hidden in his clothing.
Commander Red: Right. Well, we can take it from here. He's no longer a threat so I'll just send a man to retrieve the ball. I mean how difficult could that possibly be, now?
Mercenary Tao: Great. See you in a few days.
Commander Red: We'll see you then, Tao. (hangs up the phone) That's a relief. Everything's in place.
Assistant Black: That man is certanly worth the fee.

Mercenary Tao: You can't order me! I'm not one of your little soldiers.
Commander Red: Grrr...grr...grr...grr...grr...grrr...
Assistant Black: Is it going to get you to it?

Korin Tower

Korin: You have to defeat Tao the mercenary to retrieve your Dragon Balls and then collect the other three so you can wish Upa's father back to life. Is that the gist of it?
Goku: What!? How could you know all that when I didn't even say anything about it?
Korin: I...read...minds! But don't worry, kid. There weren't that many chapters.

Korin: Not that this isn't any fun, but before you play the game, maybe you should read the directions.

Korin: I understand if you wanna give up. No hard feelings.

Goku: (out of breath) You're too fast. I can't catch you.
Korin: That's right, if you keep that attitude. You can't retrieve what your mind can't conceive. Get it? All you're doing is reacting to me. Learn to anticipate your opponent's actions.

Goku: Uh... exactly how old are you, anyway?
Korin: Eight hundred years, give or take a few.
Goku: Eight hundred years!? Oh, wow! You're really old!
Korin: Show some respect.

Sacred Water

Korin: See, you should move like you speak. With purpose and clear direction. Commit your mind and focus. Distraction is the root of all failure.

Korin: Well, well, well. It seems honesty isn't extinct after all.

Mercenary Tao: I only hope he's enjoying today while he can... for tomorrow... ha! He will see his last sunrise.

Goku: Today is the day, Korin. I'm going to get that bottle.
Korin: Do, don't speak.

Tailor: But sir... my money...
Mercenary Tao: What? Tailor? You desire compensation for the privilege of servicing the needs of Tao, the great mercenary?
Tailor: A simple token of appreciation.
Mercenary Tao: Silence. I see. I have given you my business and in exchange you offer me... contempt.
Tailor: Uh?
Mercenary Tao: That's a bit too pricey. You see, people meet my needs freely out of fear, and if I were to pay you, it would make me look weak. I can't tolerate that sort of reputation.
Tailor: Please, sir, I meant no disrespect. I only ask for what is rightfully mine.
Mercenary Tao: Yes. You have made that clear.
Tailor: No, no, no. No, no, no, no. (Mercenary Tao ruptures the tailor's head with his finger) Oh...oh...oh...oh... (the tailor falls and dies)
Mercenary Tao: I believe I made my... point.

Korin: Hm. Very good, Goku. You have learned that all I have to teach you.
Goku: Eh he he he he he. Thank you Master Korin for everything.
Korin: Farewell, young man.
Goku: Eh he he he! Bye-bye! See ya later!

The Return of Goku

Commander Red: I'm truly amazed at how far you've come in life... without a fully functioning brain!
Staff Officer Black: Grr... (Black lights Red's cigar for him) Grr...uh...grr...
Commander Red: Uhh?
Staff Officer Black: Uh...are you sure you wouldn't like to send some of us to help Tao, I mean just in case?
Commander Red: I'm sure he can handle it. I need you here for more pressing matters like handing me my cigars!
Staff Officer Black: Right.

Upa: You... you killed my father!
Mercenary Tao: That's right. I have killed many things little heathen. And you're next.

Goku: Don't you ever hurt my friend again!
Mercenary Tao: You've no idea how lucky you are to be alive... much less talking. No one has ever survived my Dodon Ray. Kings and peasants alike have fallen to its power.
Goku: My grandpa protected me. It was his four-star ball that was under my clothes.
Mercenary Tao: Ah, yes. The missing Dragon Ball which I carelessly forgot to relieve you of during our last encounter. I won't make that mistake again. I must say, I've been looking forward to this moment... though I don't know which will be more entertaining... taking the Dragon Ball from you... or ramming it down your throat!
Upa: Ah...ah...ah...ah...
Mercenary Tao: There is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity, child. You don't really think you'll win, do you?
Goku: I'll give you one last chance. Give me my Dragon Balls or I'll take them back!
Mercenary Tao: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What a vivid imagination you possess! Three seconds. That's how long you have to live.

Goku: Fight.
Mercenary Tao: I don't fight. I annihilate. And when I'm done with you, you will be nothing more than dust in the wind.
Goku: Whatever you call it. You hurt people. And I'm going to stop you!

(Mercenary gets stuck to the ground, the wind blows, and pops out of the ground with his suit all ripped)

Mercenary Tao: That's the second suit you've destroyed! Grr! Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be to find another decent tailor!? Grr!
Goku: You should worry about your fighting. Not your looks.
Mercenary Tao: You dare question my abilities!? Well, then taste my Dodon Ray!
Goku: Grrr!!
Upa: Be careful, Goku!
Goku: Go ahead. I'm ready for you this time!
Mercenray Tao: Dodon! Gah! (takes a blast at Goku, but blocks it)

Mercenary Tao: It's impossible! No one has ever withstood that attack.
Goku: It can't hurt me anymore. Just like my Kamehameha wave didn't work on you last time. I guess we're even.
Upa: Yeah! You did it!
Mercenary Tao: Dream on! (gets out a capsule)
Goku: A capsule?

(A Capsule turns into a sword)

Goku: Hmm. Are you just gonna stand there, or what?
Mercenary Tao: Hm! You should be greatful for these last few moments of peace before I take what little life you lived. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Huh? (looks at a rock)
Goku: Let's get on with it. Yah! (flies up)
Mercenary Tao: Gr! (kicks a rock)
Goku: Ah...ahh...ahh...uh...Upa...
Upa: Ah...ah...
Goku: Ah...ah...uh...uh... (flies up and grabs Upa as the rock destroys his Teepee) Ah...
Upa: Uh...
Goku: You monster, I'll get you for this! (looks around as Tao disappear) Huh?
Mercenary Tao: (after he gets to the Korin Tower) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! No one escapes the ravages of battle tiny. Unfortunately, ours will have to wait for now, while I take a trip on your precious tower. I'm feeling a bit thirsty. (climbs up)
Goku: Go ahead and drink all you want, but you'll have to come down sometime, and I'll be waiting.

(Mercenary Tao Runs Up fast by the Korin Tower)

Narrator: And so, Mercenary Tao climbs Korin's tower in search of the sacred water. Hoping it will increase his already phenomenal fighting strength. Meanwhile, Goku and Upa are forced to wait heplessly for the fight of the century to continue. And continue it will, in the next action packed episode of Dragon Ball.

The Last of Mercenary Tao

Upa: (as Mercenary Tao climbs Korin Tower) I can't take all this waiting. There has to be something we can do.
Goku: There is. And I've put it off for too long.
Upa: Ha! I knew it! You've got a plan, right?
Goku: Yes. To eat.

Upa: You have some trick planned. Otherwise, you'd be as worried as I am.
Goku: No tricks.
Upa: Ah, you can tell me, Goku. What's your secret?
Goku: (yawning) A good nap.

Bulma: How can you waste your time with that smut when your best student is lost and in peril?
Master Roshi: Heh heh heh heh heh. Of course, you were very productive building that useless radar.

Mercenary Tao: Do you have any last words?
Goku: No I don't. And I think we've talked enough for today.

Mercenary Tao: (to himself) I can't surrender to a child. I could never look at myself in the mirror again.

Confront the Red Ribbon Army

Commander Red: I've told ye before! An underling should never look down at his leader!
Staff Officer Black: You're right, sir.

Launch: (looking on a radar screen to follow Goku's flying direction) I think that point might be right around the area where the Red Ribbon Army has its command center.
Turtle: Uh!?
Bulma: What!?
Master Roshi: That can't be. He wouldn't do anything so reckless. I taught him better than that.

Bulma: Yamcha! If we could just get in touch with him!
Turtle: Uh...why don't you just call him on the phone.
Bulma: Because we don't have a telephone either!
Turtle: Uh... it's none of my business but why don't you just make one.
Bulma: Ah...
Turtle: You seem pretty handy with electronics. You can do it.
Bulma: You're right. I can. Good plan.

Master Roshi: Sometimes, genius just needs a bit of a kick start.

Oolong: (to himself, after overhearing Yamcha talking on the phone about Goku being in danger) I sense a good deed in the works. Better make myself scarce.
Yamcha: (on the phone) Okay. No problem. I'm on my way! (hangs up) Puar! Oolong! Come here!
Oolong: (to himself) Rats.
Yamcha: We've gotta go help Goku. He's going to fight the Red Ribbon Army!
Puar: (fearful) Ahhhh!!!
Oolong: (fearful) Ah...D-d-did you say the Red Ribbon Army!?
Yamcha: I guess you've heard of them then. They're tough. But excitement's just what I need after a stint in this dull town.

A Real Bind

Yamcha: (as they are flying toward the Red Ribbon Army base) We've now reached cruising altitude.
Oolong: This trip is as far from a cruise as you can get.
Bulma: I don't know why we even bothered to bring him. All he does is think about himself!
Oolong: Why risk my life!? Gimme one good reason!
Yamcha: You're going. It's not up for discussion!

Krillin: Did I hear you say Goku's on his way to the Red Ribbon compound? By himself?
Master Roshi: Yup. That's right.
Krillin: What in the world was he thinking?
Bulma: He's obviously not thinking!
Oolong: You can say that again.

Bulma: Yamcha?
Yamcha: Huh?
Bulma: Don't think this means that I'm not mad at you anymore, but this is an emergency. So we can bury the hatchet for now--but just for now! (Krillin, Turtle, and Puar go disappointed at this)
Yamcha: Uh...okay, Bulma. We'll talk everything out later when we have plenty of time.
Oolong: (cynically) If we make it to later!

Commander Red: You blasted morons! You're all about as useful as snow shoes in summer!

Master Roshi: That's some quick thinkin' there. Now how 'bout some quick kissin'?
Bulma: You will never touch these lips!

Commander Red: Maybe you don't believe this army is unstoppable, but I'd bet my life on it!

The End of Commander Red

Commander Red: Idiots! Hundreds of trained professionals and they can't even handle one child!
Staff Officer Black: But sir. The kid does display extraordinary powers.
Commander Red: I can see that! I'm only missing one eye! I don't need you to point out the obvious, you imbecile!
Staff Officer Black: Yes, sir.
Commander Red: If you had trained those men properly in the first place, we wouldn't be having this problem!

Colonel Violet: (while raiding Commander Red's safe, looks at the security camera) Consider this my severance package! (winks)

Staff Officer Black: Commander, it looks as though the rest of the soldiers are evacuating as well.
Commander Red: What!? This isn't a Democracy! Get them back here!

Staff Officer Black: Please, sir. We should get out of here while there's still time.
Commander Red: Retreat from a child!? Never! You overestimate his chances!
Staff Officer Black: You mean you're going to fight him?
Commander Red: No, of course not. You are.

Staff Officer Black: If you want to see the Commander so badly, I'll take you to him. In pieces.

Staff Officer Black: Commander. What do you mean by that?
Commander Red: You! You're still...?
Staff Officer Black: Alive? Yes, commander sorry to disappoint you and I heard every word you said! Do you mean all of this was sothat you could gain a few inches?
Commander Red: You bet. And what's wrong with that?
Staff Officer Black: It's a selfish goal. It has nothing to do with the Red Ribbon Army!
Commander Red: It has everything to do with this army and my plans for the organization. These Dragon Balls are the tools I need to make this army and myself huge! It would be a grave mistake to underestimate my plan!
Staff Officer Black: Your lame plan's going to get us all killed!
Commander Red: I am the Red Ribbon Army! What's good for me is good for everyone and I want to be taller! All my life, I've drawn the short straw! I've had to contend with being a mere pebble in a land of giants! It is the curse of my existence! You couldn't possibly understand what it's like... the nightmare of being a genius, yet trapped inside this ugly little body!
Staff Officer Black: I understand that loyalty means nothing to you! You sold me out for your vanity!
Commmander Red: What's really eating you is there's no "Commander" in front of your name! And there never will be! You want to know why? Because you're small time! You're just a lackey! My errand boy! At your age, it's pathetic! (Staff Officer Black executes Commander Red by shooting him clean through the forehead)
Staff Officer Black: (after Commander Red's body falls to the ground) Looks like I've been promoted. You squandered your power but I will lead the army into a new era of greatness. my first order of business will be to rule this planet.

Master Roshi: (after the gang pass a swerving vehicle piloted by Violet) Did you get the license number?

See also