Full House/Season 2

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Full House was a television sitcom that ran on the American ABC network from 1987 until 1995.

Cutting It Close [2.1]

Danny: Breakfast is ready. We're having pan... (sees Jesse's hair) ...cuts
Joey: (upon seeing Jesse's new haircut) You went from Eddie Van Halen to Pee-Wee Van Herman.

D.J.'s Very First Horse [2.4]

(D.J. has brought her horse inside the house)
Joey: Oh, this is great. Danny's going to walk in here, see this horse and blame me for the whole thing. Do you know why? Because this is *very* funny.

Jesse: Danny's gonna flip his gourd. We gotta get this horse out of here.
Joey: Well, how do we get him out?
Jesse: We'll feed him, give him food. What does he eat?
Joey: Hay.
Jesse: We don't have any hay.
Joey: Jess, you went to the market, and you didn't pick up any hay?

Stephanie: Don't get me in trouble. Hide the tail!

D.J.: I'll tell you what, if you can keep this secret for two weeks, I'll let you own part of the horse.
Stephanie: Which part do I get?
D.J.: The tail.
Stephanie: My very own tail?

Beach Boy Bingo [2.6]

Danny: I am stoked! Whatever that means.

Joey Gets Tough [2.7]

Danny: You watch Wake Up, San Francisco because it's nice, and easy. Well this morning, I had a little too much coffee, so we're gonna do it nice... and rough.

A Little Romance [2.11]

Nick: (to Rebecca after she paid seventeen hundred dollars for Jesse in a date auction.) You know you could've had him for free.

Fogged In [2.12]

[Jesse enters his room where D.J. is recording her own version of "The Locomotion"]
Jesse: What are you doing?
D.J.: The Locomotion.
[Jesse looks closely at the tape]
Jesse: Where'd you get this tape?
D.J.: It was in there.
Jesse: Oh, no. [rewinds the tape] Please, tell me you didn't tape over my Casa de Pancakes jingle.
[after he's finished rewinding, he plays the recording on the tape of "The Locomotion", then to the end of...]
Jesse and Joey: [on recording] Casa de Pancakes. OLE!
[Jesse disappointedly stops the tape]
Jesse: I can't believe it! It's gone! You guys destroyed it! Now I'm gonna hafta do the whole thing over again.

Danny: What happened?
Jesse: Aw, they messed up my jingle tape. Joey's goin' away. I'm gonna hafta do this whole thing over again.
Danny: Don'tcha think you're overreacting?
Jesse: Overreacting? You think I'm overreacting?! I'm not overreacting! Okay?! I had this all worked out! I spent the whole night doin' it! Now my whole life is ruined! Okay. Now, I'm overreacting.
Danny: Jess, ya lost your temper again. Huh?
Jesse: Well, she shouldn't be in here-- [sighs] Ah, I'm just tired. I lost my cool. I did come down on her pretty hard. Didn't I? She'll be okay?
Danny: I think you better straighten this out.
Jesse: Yeah. All right. I know just how to handle this.
Danny: Good. Jesse?
Jesse: Huh?
Danny: D'you need a hug?
Jesse: Haven't I been through enough?

Little Shop of Sweaters [2.14]


Pal Joey [2.15]

Young Jesse: Hey! One at a time!
Sheldon: There's the kid who was picking on me!
Miss Borland: That's it, I'm calling your parents!
Young Joey: But...
Young Danny: Wait, Miss Borland. That boy's lying, Joseph has been a perfect angel.
Sheldon: Tanner's the liar!
Miss Borland: That's not possible! Daniel Tanner's never been in trouble a day in his life. Let's you and I visit the principal, Sheldon.
Young Joey & Young Danny: Sheldon?
Sheldon: (Looking at Young Joey & Young Danny)
Young Joey: Thanks man, you saved my life!
Young Danny: You saved me first.

Baby Love [2.16]

Rebecca: Dustin? You would name our child Dustin?
Jesse: Yeah, you got a better name?
Rebecca: I sure do... Emily.
Jesse: No son of ours is gonna be named Emily.
Rebecca: Our daughter's name is Emily. Our son's name is Prescott.
Jesse: Prescott? Might as well name him Emily. Our son is gonna be called Dustin.
Rebecca: Prescott.
Jesse: Dustin!
Rebecca: Prescott!
Jesse: Dust... When did we have a kid?

Rebecca: Well, we better get going. You don't wanna miss your plane.
Connie: You're right, it might accidentally take off on time. Come on, Howie, wake up. It's time to go.
Michelle: Howie, no go.
Danny: Howie, yes go. Howie go back home.
Michelle: Me go.
Danny: [imitates an Indian] No, little Kemo Sabe. No can go to Nebraska. Take many moons.

El Problema Grande de D.J. [2.17]

Linda: Hasta luego.
Danny: Ah... El Pollo Loco!

DJ: Dad, you got to do something; listen to my report card. It's so unfair! A-A-A-A-A-A...
Joey: How dare they! This is an outrage!
DJ: Listen to my Spanish grade-D
Danny: A D in Spanish?
Joey: Que pasa?
DJ: Huh?

I'm There For You, Babe [2.20]

DJ: You have the brain of a paramecium.
Stephanie: If I have the brain of a paramecium, then you have the brain of just one mecium.
DJ: (to Jesse) There really is no way to beat her, is there?

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