Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie

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Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie is a 2002 American computer-animated Christian musical comedy adventure film produced by Big Idea Productions and released by Artisan Entertainment through its F.H.E. Pictures label. It is the first feature-length film in the VeggieTales series. The themes for the film are compassion and mercy, using two stories as illustrations. The first takes place in the current day and concerns a mishap with Bob the Tomato and Dad Asparagus on the way to a concert; the second, set in ancient Israel, is based directly on the biblical story of Jonah. Through both stories, compassionate and mercy play a role in giving people a second chance. The film also features the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything in both segments who were first seen in the Silly Song of the same name in Very Silly Songs!.

Dialogue[edit]

Percy Pea: Let's do another Twippo song!
Annie: I love Twippo.
Junior: Me too!
Laura: But I'm the one who gets to meet him because I won the Twippo sweepstakes.
Junior: You don't have to rub it in.
Dad Asparagus: It's great that you won the contest, Laura. But let's try not to brag about it. Nice one with the lights, Bob.
Bob: My pleasure, for the next song maybe I can drive into the river!
All: Yeah! Drive into the river, Bob! Oh, drive into the river, Bob!
Bob: Or maybe you could help me with the map!
Dad Asparagus: Oh! I'm sorry.
Laura: Is there anything you want me to tell Twippo, when I meet him?
Dad Asparagus: Laura!
Bob: Ow!
Laura: My ticket!!
Dad Asparagus: Mike: Aah! Quick get it!
Bob: The map!
Dad Asparagus: Sorry!
Bob: Aah!
Laura: My ticket!
[The ticket flies away.]

Bob: Am I in heaven?
Dad Asparagus: Smells like Wisconsin.

Bob: Oh yeah, well if it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this mess!
Dad Asparagus: I said I was sorry. I'll do better next time.
Bob: There isn't gonna be a next time!
Annie: Mr. Bob, how are we going to get to the Twippo Concert?
Percy Pea: Yeah! We're going to miss the Bald Bunny song.
Bob: I don't know! I don't know about any bald bunnies!
Percy Pea: I'm a bald bunny, ain't got no fur. I'm a bald bunny, brrr brrr brrr.
Laura: [while Percy continues singing] Even if we do make it to the concert, I can't get in! I lost my ticket!
Junior: Serves you right! It's your own fault for waving it around in my face!
Annie: I have to go to the bathroom.
Dad Asparagus: You know, I'm usually not that clumsy in the car.
Bob: Two flat tires?!
Dad Asparagus: Usually, I'm quite dexterous!
Bob: How in the world are we going to change two flat tires?! Where's the phone?!
Laura: I lost my ticket!
Junior: If you hadn't been teasing me, we wouldn't been in this mess, Laura!

Pa Grape: Excuse me!
Junior: Ah!
Larry: How's it going?
Mr. Lunt: Hey! What's up?
Junior: Who are you?
Pa Grape: The who us?
Junior: Yeah.
Pa Grape: Oh! We are, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!
Mr. Lunt: Oh! You know that's right!
Larry: Nothing.
Mr. Lunt: Zilch.
Larry: Nada.

Junior: What is that? What's compassion?
Mr. Lunt: Oh! That's a hard question.
Larry: Mmmm Hmmm!
Pa Grape: Well, Compassion is when ya see that someone needs help, and ya wanna help them!

Mr. Lunt: Yeah! Remember when we did that one thing, with that one guy?
Pa Grape: Oh do I ever.
Larry: I remember it like it was yesterday.

Angus: Sorry, sir! I can't sell ya a ticket to Nineveh!
Jonah: What?! Who are you?!
Angus: The name's Angus! I sell cruise tickets! There's nothing like a cruise on the Great Sea ta clean the sand outa yer wicket, aye? But you can't sail to Nineveh! It's landlocked! See? [gestures with a loud bang to map with pointer] You can't go by sea, you get to go by land!

Tape: You are powerful and attractive.
Jonah: What? Who's there?
Tape: You do not run from your problems, but confront them face to face.
Jonah: Ah! The bag! It speaks!
Khalil: Ow! What did you do that for?
Jonah: Mr. Twisty? Who's there? Show yourself!
[Worm crawls up on barrel or something. He is holding headphones, which he places back in the bag of leaves. Jonah has never seen a worm exactly like this one.]
Khalil: Hello!
Jonah: What are you?
Khalil: Who, me? Oh, my name is Khalil! I am a caterpillar! Well, that's only half true. My mother was a caterpillar. My father was a worm. But I'm okay with that now.
Jonah: Khalil?
Khalil: Khalil. You've got to get your gut into it! I bet you're wondering why I'm here.
Jonah: Aaah! you tidy up around the ship?
Khalil: Oh, no - I do not work on the ship. I am a small business operator! A traveling salesman! I sell Persian rugs door to door! See?
Jonah: Oh, lovely. A...
Khalil: By the way, do you know where this ship is going?
Jonah: Yes, Tarshish.
Khalil: Tarshish! [gasps] What a trip! You know, that may be just what I need! The Persian rug business has not been going very well around here. But I still have a positive mental attitude, because of my motivational tapes!
Tape: You are a skilled metalworker.
Khalil: I am a skilled metalworker! Oh! I did not know that!

Jonah: Yes! Which way is Tarshish?
Angus: Right this way! You can't miss it!
Jonah: Oh! Thank you!
[Jonah walks and headed to Tarshish. Suddenly, God's voice interrupts, which sounds suspiciously like Pa Grape.]
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: What? Who is it?
God (Pa Grape): Jonah! Where are you going?
Jonah: Oh! It's you, Lord. Um, I'm going to... I'm going...
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I'm Sorry! I can't hear you!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I can't hear you! Lalalalalalala!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
Jonah: I... CAN'T... HEAR... YOU!
God (Pa Grape): Jonah!
[Dream transition back to Jonah, tossing in his bunk. The hold of the ship is flooding and water is splashing Jonah's face. Pa Grape is trying to wake him.]
Pa Grape: Jonah! Jonah! Jonah!
Jonah: No! I... I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Pa Grape: Come on! Wake up! We got trouble!
Jonah: What?! What's happening?!
Pa Grape: We're in a storm! Like I've never seen before! If we don't do something quick, we're gonna sink!
Khalil: We seem to have sprung a leak, traveling buddy!
Pa Grape: Huh? Hey! What are you doing here?
Khalil: Well, yes. But you see, my new friend and I are going to Tarshish to break the back of the camel thieves! Crime-fighting runs very deep in my family!
Pa Grape: Why if it wasn't for this storm I'd make you walk the plank! And you! How can you sleep at a time like this?!
Jonah: What's going on?
Pa Grape: I'll tell you what's going on! We're all gonna be fish food if I don't get some help!
Jonah: Well, what can we do?!
Pa Grape: Oh! Get up and pray to your god! Maybe he'll have mercy on us and spare our lives! Hmm... Oy! Somebody up there must be really upset with somebody down here! Wait a minute! That's it! ALRIGHT YOU TWO, FOLLOW ME!

Pa Grape: Huh?! I thought for sure...
Jonah: Alright! I admit it! It's my fault! All my fault! I'm the one to blame!
Pa Grape: But, I... The worm!
Jonah: I am a Hebrew, and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land, and I'm running away from Him! He told me to go to Nineveh, but I didn't listen! You know, I don't like those people.
Mr. Lunt: Oh! Fish Slappers.
Jonah: Yes! And so I ran! I ran, and I ended up here, and now everyone's in terrible danger all because of me! I'm afraid the only thing left is to be thrown into the sea!
Larry: Awww! You don't have to do that. We gotta plank. You can just walk off!
Jonah: Yes, thank you. You're too kind.

Mr. Lunt: Well... Should we pull him back in?
Pa Grape: Uh... I don't see why not.

Jonah: Something touched me! There's... There's something in the water!
[The whale approaches under the ship and Jonah.]
Pa Grape: Hurry up! Hurry!
Mr. Lunt: I'm hurrying!
Pa Grape: Hold on, Jonah! Aim this time!
Mr. Lunt: I was aiming!
Pa Grape: I can never tell where you're looking.
Mr. Lunt: You should talk!
Jonah: Hurry! [Lunt throws the ring, it misses again.] FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape: Pull it back in! Hurry!
Lunt: Okay, okay! I got it!
[The Whale uses the water to sprinkle around]
Pa Grape: Let me do that!
Lunt: No, no! I'll throw it!
Jonah: FELLOWS, PLEASE!
Pa Grape: Come on! Give it here!
Mr. Lunt: I said I got it!
Larry: Excuse me, gentlemen! Perhaps I can be of some assistance.
[Larry tosses the ring. This time it's headed right for Jonah. The ring lands perfectly around Jonah and gasps. The pirates smiles of his achievement. The Pirates attempt to reel Jonah back in, but before they can do so, Jonah is swallowed by a giant whale. The pirates were shocked.]
Larry: Oops.

[The scene is quite dark, with JONAH forlornly sitting on a barrel or some other indigestible object inside the whale. After a moment, the bowling ball rolls up next to him.]
Jonah: Oh, look... a bowling ball. If I could only find some pins.
Khalil: You found better than that, travelling buddy! It's me!
Jonah: Oh, my.
Khalil: So forget about Tarshish! All we need to do is get this whale to swim to Nineveh! You give the message, I sell the plush toys, we'll be right back on track!
Jonah: Carlyle, please don't speak to me. I'm having a rather bad day.
Khalil: Well you don't need to be so down about it - Mr. Grumpypants!
Jonah: Look around you! We're inside a whale! We're going to be digested! Do you know what that means?!
Khalil: Of course I do! Digestion runs very deep in my family. I'm just trying to have a positive outlook, you know! You know the difference between you and me is that you see the whale as half empty, but I see the whale as half full!
Jonah: I don't know what that means.
Khalil: Neither do I.
[Jonah turns away and sits down forlornly.]
Jonah: Oh! I might as well face it. God gave me a job to do and I disobeyed him. I ran the other way! I've done something terrible and now I'm getting what I deserve. Oh... I'm going to die here in this whale.

Pa Grape: So from inside the whale, Jonah prayed and asked God to forgive him for not obeying. He told God that if he got another chance, he would go to Nineveh, even though he didn't like those people very much.
Bob: So did he get another chance?
Pa Grape: Shouldn't you be lookin' our for yer tow truck?
Bob: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That can wait. Did Jonah get another chance?
Pa Grape: Well, God saw that Jonah needed help, and he wanted to help him.
Junior: That's compassion!
Bob: But did he give him a second chance even though he didn't deserve it? You know, mercy?
Pa Grape: After three days, Jonah noticed something strange happening.

Jonah: Go in, give the message, get out. Go in, give the message, get out.
Guard 1: Who goes there?!
Jonah: Ah, yes. My name is Jonah, and I'm a prophet from...
Guard #2: You're not from here, are you?
Jonah: Um... No, you see, I'm from...
Guard #1: That would make you a stranger, wouldn't it?
Jonah: Well... Um... Yes. I suppose so... But I...
Guard #2: We don't like strangers!
Jonah: No... Yes, I've heard that. But you see I have a...
Guard #1: So why're you here?!
Jonah: Well... I have a message.
Guard #1: A message? For who?
Jonah: Well... For everyone! For the whole city!
Guard #1: You've got a message for the whole city?!
Guard #2: The whole city?!
Guard #1: Oh, that's rich!
Guard #2: Heh, heh! I'll alert the king! YOU'RE HONOR! A BLEACHED ASPARAGUS HAS A MESSAGE FOR US ALL!
Guard #1: Most important!
Khalil: I do not think this is going very well.
Jonah: Oh! Let's just go home! I did what you said, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

City Official: People of Nineveh! These four men, and that small, whatever it is...
Khalil: I am a caterpillar! Well, that is only half true.
City Official: Have been found guilty of high thievery against the Royal City of Nineveh! For their punishment... THE SLAP OF NO RETURN!
Larry: What's so funny?
City Official: Observe!
[The Pirates and Jonah look on as the City Official places a large pumpkin on a small wooden platform in from of the fifth fish pole. There is a hush as he walks over to the rope, anchored to a stake in the ground, raises a curved sword high in the air, and brings it down, severing the rope. The fish falls, splattering the pumpkin to bits. Pumpkin hits Jonah's face. The crowd starts cheering and the Pirates and Jonah start crying like little babies.]
All: [No! Waaaaaaaaah! Etc.]
Khalil: What is happening that is making you all cry like little babies?!
Jonah: Why on earth do you take snack food so SERIOUSLY?!

Jonah: What? Oh! The Message. Yes! The message? Ah! What was the message? It's been so long, I... Yes! [clears throat] STOP IT! [All Ninevites gasping] STOP CHEATING, STOP LYING, AND ESPECIALLY STOP SLAPPING PEOPLE WITH FISHES, OR THIS ENTIRE CITY WILL BE DESTROYED! A Message From the Lord.

City Official: A decree from the King! Let everyone call urgently to God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Perhaps the God that brought this man out of the Great Fish, will give us a second chance!
[Crowd cheers and everyone was happy. Jonah looks around, tugging against his ropes.]
King Twistomer: And let the asparagus and his friends go free!
Pa Grape (Narrator): So the king and the people of Nineveh, said they were sorry, stopped the fish-slapping, and started being nice to people.

Jonah: Alright! I did my job! So... fire! Brimstone! Whatever! You pick! Right over there! I'll just sit here under my weed and wait.
[Jonah sits back down and forces a smile, leaning up against the weed. Without warning, the weed and Jonah crash to the ground. Jonah sits up quickly and looks around.]
Jonah: What? What happened?!
[Jonah spies worm, happily munching a mouthful of weed, and sees the partially chewed weed stump.]
Jonah: What?! How could you?!
Khalil: Hmm? All your whining made me hungry! It was just a weed.
Jonah: Just a weed?! It... It was my shade! It was my friend! Oh, dear Lord, how could you let this happen?!
[Jonah mourns for the weed like a fallen comrade, the worm can take it no more.]
Khalil: Would you look at yourself?! You care more about that weed than about all the people in Nineveh!
Jonah: Well, I...
Khalil: Why are you here now? Instead of back in the belly of that whale?
Jonah: Ah...
Khalil: Because God is compassionate! He wanted to help you! And because he is merciful! He gave you a second chance!
Jonah: Oh, yes, and I'm very grateful!
Khalil: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe God loves everybody! Not just you! That maybe he wants to give everyone a second chance!
Jonah: Uh, well...
Khalil: He saw that those people needed help, that they didn't know right from wrong, and he wanted to help them! And that is why he sent you!
Jonah: Ah...
Khalil: And when you told them what they were doing wrong they said they were sorry, they put down their mackerels and their halibuts, and they asked God for a second chance. And by golly, he gave them one! Don't you see? God wants to give everyone a second chance! And so should we!
Jonah: Well... If they get a second chance, those fish-slappers, well, then... IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I WERE DEAD! [flops onto the ground] OH! I WISH I WERE BACK IN THAT WHALE! [Jonah is a basket case, the worm looks at him in disbelief.]
Khalil: You are pathetic. You know, patience runs very deep in my family. But not that deep. I'm out of here!
Jonah: What? What are you doing?
Khalil: I wanted to be big and important, just like you! But the world doesn't need more people who are BIG AND IMPORTANT, the world needs more people who are nice. And compassionate. And merciful. That's what I want to be. You can find yourself a new traveling buddy. Goodbye!
Jonah: You can't just leave!
Khalil: Can and am!
Jonah: But, who will I talk to?! You can't just leave me here all alone! Hello?! Carlisle?! Reginald?! Carlisle?! Khalil?! Khalil?! KHALIL?! No!
Pa Grape: The End!
[The Pirates slide the Plexiglas divider shut between the two booths.]

Twippo: Why that was a very merciful thing to do! Tell you what, I'll give you all a ride to the concert, and I'll make sure you all have backstage passes!
All: [celebration] Horray!
Twippo: Speaking of mercy, have any of you heard the story of a man named Jonah?
All: Yes.
Twippo: Oh! Well, uh... Would you like to hear a song about it?
Percy: Is it like the bald bunny song?
Twippo: Ah! Not really. it's more of a big musical number.
Dad: Perfect!

Khalil: I beg your pardon. I hate to break up the party, but who needed a tow?
Twippo: Ah! Have we met?

External links[edit]