Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Season 7

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Law & Order: Criminal Intent (2001- 2011) is a criminal drama television series, part of the popular Law & Order franchise created by Dick Wolf. The show focuses on the Major Case Squad, an elite group of detectives specializing in cases of political sensitivity or public attention.

Amends [7.01] [G/E][edit]

[When Eames' husband's old partner is murdered, the investigation casts a new light on her husband's murderer.]

Eames: [to Goren, about reopening Joe's murder] This isn't one of your puzzles!

Eames: There's no such thing as getting even.

Seeds [7.02] [L/F][edit]

[The murder of an obstetrician leaves Logan and his new partner Nola Falacci sorting out complex family dynamics, a doctor with a god complex, and so much spread around DNA that finding the real killer will be a miracle of genetics.]

Logan: I know it's your day off, but it is what it is.
Falacci: Trust me, I'll take a crime scene over playing a clown at the neighbor's kid's birthday party any day.

Capt. Ross: How're things working out with you two?
Logan: Workin'.
Capt. Ross: Falacci's not really a… people person.
Logan: Yeah. But she's a closer. Besides, I wanna take a shot at being the diplomat for once.

Falacci: Did he say that I'm not a people person?
Logan: I'd let it go.

Smile [7.03] [G/E][edit]

[Goren and Eames's investigation of the murder of a dentist and his patients leads them to a company caught in a criminal conspriacy about containmated mouthwash.]

Schorr: What good is having a friend at the FDA if the friend is an idiot?

[Seeing Leslie LeZard being carry away in handcuffs.]
Goren: You worry about what she said, that your career is tainted by me?
Eames: I used to.
Goren: And now?
Eames: It's too late.

Lonelyville [7.04] [L/F][edit]

[When a dead woman is found tied up in a motel room, Logan and Falacci follow the leads to a lonely writer.]

Capt. Ross: [About the suspect] A blackmailing con artist, and possible murderer. A new low, even for a lawyer.

Falacci: The hotel clerk doesn't remember who signed the register, but she took one look at Gerry's photo and said she's positive it wasn't him.
Capt. Ross: Because of his weight or his race?
Falacci: Both. Their clientele is all, [in a breathy voice] "Anorexic models and Eurotrash named 'Serge.'"

Logan: [Looking at the elaborately bound victim] Wow. Somebody spent a lot of time tying her up before they strangled her.
Falacci: Didn't just tie her up. Kinbaku. Erotic Japanese bondage with natural jute rope.
Logan: Whatever you say, Falacci.

Depths [7.05] [G/E][edit]

[While investigating the murder of a diver, Goren and Eames learn that he is part of a treasure hunting team that stumbled onto a wealthy family's dark secret.]

Eames: [looking at Chili's mangled corpse] I'll add this to the list of things I didn't need to see.

Goren: How much treasure did the 3 of you bring up, Dana?
Dana: Just a handful, I swear.
Eames: Enough to buy 3 pairs of Jimmy Choos and 4 Versace dresses. And those diamond earrings really highlight your tan.
Dana: Okay, so we skimmed a little bit off the top. What, you never worked as a waitress? A blonde like you, I'm sure you did.

Courtship [7.06] [L/F][edit]

[A private investigator is at the heart of the murder of a judge's wife.]

Falacci: [when she enters the room where Judge Burns sitting on his chair] Hey! What's he doing in here?
Campesi: The Judge wanted...
Falacci: He wants you to hose down the crime scene? Get him out of here, he's a suspect! [Campesi looks at Logan] Don't look at my partner – he's got my back, not yours.
Logan: It's all right, Campesi, go on, get him out of here. [to Falacci] Take a cigarette break, would you, Falacci? The last thing you wanna do is to piss off a Supreme Court judge.

Capt. Ross: [about removing the judge from the crime scene] You made the right call, detective, but this isn't Brooklyn North, this is Major Case. You're dealing with a higher class of criminal.
Falacci: What are you saying, I should give him the run of the place?
Capt. Ross: [long pause] There's a protocol.....
Falacci: When you secure a crime scene, really?
Capt. Ross: There's also a protocol with me, detective!

Falacci: I don't need anybody telling me..... [Logan chuckles] What?
Logan: I'm just not used to being the voice of reason.

Self-made [7.07] [G/E][edit]

[A writer is found tortured and murdered, and clues lead Goren and Eames to suspects in her lavish literary circle and the gritty urban society she called her roots]

Eames: We found Kira's novel.
Goren: It's not as purple as your prose, but to me, it rings truer.
Shill: Everyone's a critic.
Goren: And you're a fake. A hack.
Eames: If word got out, those lecture fees would dry up.
Goren: Kira trusted you, and you stole from her.
Shill: And you are being hyperbolic!
Goren: I'm not done! I'd like for you to say that you're a fraud. [grabs him by the arm and forces him to sit down] Go ahead. C'mon. Sit down. I'd like for you to say it.
Shill: Okay. You pulled back the curtain and found a pathetic old man who coveted a brilliant young writer's future. Perhaps he took her words. Only her words! Not her life!

Goren: [while arresting Shill in front of his students] See those writers? They're gonna have a hell of a story.

Offense [7.08] [L/F][edit]

[A witness in a rape trial is killed, but the likely suspects – the football team members accused of the rape – turn out not so likely, and attention turns towards an attorney.]

Logan: Look, there's more to life than just one case. Higher ups have an agenda. You want 30 years in? Deal with it.
Falacci: Hey! People told me you were a hothead; guys like Hoyle you'd eat for breakfast. What happened?
Logan: [pulling out press clipping of the case that got him transferred out of homicide] After 10 years on Staten Island, you learn to pick your battles.

Logan: You don't drag a senior ADA into the station house.
Falacci: You do if he's stonewalling!
Capt. Ross: Which is what happens when people throw stones.

Falacci: [examining Traci Kwon's body at the crime scene] She still has her jewelry.
Logan: But no purse [looks up the stairs] and the apartment was ransacked. Kind of a mixed message, huh?

Untethered [7.09] [G/E][edit]

[Goren goes undercover in a prison psychiatric ward to save his nephew]

Moran: [to Goren] Detective, would you like to tell me just who the hell you think you are? You misrepresented yourself in a state prison, and involved your partner and your captain as unwitting accomplices in discrediting ways that shall be duly noted in their jackets. And you provoked an already overworked MO unit to forcibly restrain you. If you ask me…
Goren: …You think that I wasn't playing insane, that I am insane.
Moran: Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Goren: Yes, sir. And I believe that asking the question proves that I am sane, and that I was willing to take my investigation to the limit.

Frank: [to Goren] Why don't you take Eames to a motel and get it out of your system?

Goren: Why didn't you call me when Donny was arrested?
Frank: I already told you, it was tough love.
Goren: No. You were trying to save that favor, because you knew it was just a matter of time before you could call in that favor for yourself.
Frank: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME, BOBBY?! What have you done for me? You gave me a coat? Slip me a couple bucks so you can feel good about yourself? Well guess what. I don't need that. Neither does Donny.
Goren: Donny's smart, Frank. He doesn't need you.
Frank: I'M SMART! I'M SMART! Everyone in this family forgets! I was the one.
Goren: [sighs] Look, we both caught a raw deal, okay? Could have brought us closer together, but this is it. This is us, y'know?
Frank: You don't wanna be my brother. Just get out.

Goren: [to Frank] I'm done with you. You, you can't contact me anymore. Ever again. You understand? If I hear that you're on a bridge, ready to jump…you know, I'll—I'll listen for the splash.

Senseless [7.10] [L/F][edit]

[Logan and temporary partner Nola Falacci investigate the tragic and apparently random shooting of three teenagers.]

Franklin: Who would do something like this?
Logan: I don't know. But I can promise you this: whoever did do this, we're gonna get them.
Tonya: Thank you, detective.
[Logan and Falacci leave]
Falacci: Why promise something like that?
Logan: Because the scum who did this, if I can't get 'em, just give me the gold watch.

[In the last lines, Logan remarks to Falacci about consoling the parents of the third teen, who died in hospital.]
Logan: 'I'm sorry for your loss.' Do you know how many times I've had to say that? It’s usually automatic. [pauses] But every once in a while...

Purgatory [7.11] [G/E][edit]

[While on suspension, Goren takes a deep undercover assignment hoping that it will help him get back on the job]

Stoat: I haven't seen any innocent people in a long time.

Goren: I'm a cop. I'm allowed to lie to criminals.

Ross: Testarossa's lawyered up.
Goren: What about Melago?
Eames: What's going on here?
Goren: Is now okay?
Eames: You're undercover, you don't tell me?
Ross: Those were my orders. Came from the top.
Eames: I can't believe this.
Ross: It was a need-to-know case. I'm sorry. Eames, Melago is in holding downtown. You have a history with her. See if she'll deal.

Contract [7.12] [L/W][edit]

[The murder of a gossip columnist leads Logan and Wheeler to investigate blackmail and a series of bombings]

[Police officer informs Logan the victim was trying to blackmail a newscaster]
Logan: Gay sex?
Police Officer: No, call girls. Think Spitzer, not McGreevey.

Chess: Where's your warrant? Where's your probable cause?
Logan: [points to a warrant in his hand] Here's your warrant. [points to a gun a cop found] And there's your probable cause.

Betrayed [7.13] [G/E][edit]

[Captain Ross ends up in over his head when an old flame asks him to figure out who killed her young husband]

Eames: She and Woody were expected in Maine on Friday. They never made it.
Capt. Ross: Romeo and Juliet didn't tell their parents where they were going, either.

Eames: Roy, I don't know what's more pathetic: the idea that you think we'd believe you, or the idea that a woman would willingly sleep with you.
Roy: [smirks] What's the matter, baby? So used to ground chuck that you don't recognize filet mignon when you see it?

Assassin [7.14] [L/W][edit]

[Detectives investigate an assassination attempt against a Sri Lankan political activist]

Rani: [to his sister] You look well: House arrest agrees with you.

Logan: Should we hold on to him, let him sweat?
Capt. Ross: The beauty of a material witness.

Please Note We Are No Longer Accepting Letters of Recommendation from Henry Kissinger [7.15] [G/E][edit]

[A murder investigation involves a private, highly competitive preschool]

Janine: Eleanor understands the complex algorithm of money, social standing, and fitting in.

Eleanor: Is it a crime to worry about my grandson's future?
Eames: It is if you shoot the parents who you think are standing in the way.

Reunion [7.16] [L/W][edit]

[Logan and Wheeler head into the world of rock and roll when one of Wheeler's idols, a famous rock star, becomes the prime suspect in a murder]

Levy: Don't shoot, don't shoot! I'm a lawyer!
Logan: Don't tempt me.

Wheeler: Got a receipt here from Max's Kansas City.
Logan: That used to be a happenin' place. [Wheeler gives him a withering look] Happenin'... it's an expression.
Wheeler: [rolls her eyes] Groovy.

Vanishing Act [7.17] [G/E][edit]

[A popular magician disappears right before the conclusion of a death-defying stunt, and is found dead in a blade box at an old mentor's show on Coney Island]

Carmine: [during a magic act] Clearly Miranda has grown too big for her britches. I say it's time we... cut her down to size.

Eames: How'd you find her? Craigslist?
Carmine: Who's Craig?

Ten Count [7.18] [L/W][edit]

[A friend of Logan's is tied to a nightclub shooting, and the investigation leads him and Wheeler into the world of amateur boxing]

Logan: Let me tell you about you, Kovac - you're a bully. You didn't train him, you broke him down.
Kovac: I broke him down to build him back up. You and Gabriel took the fight out of him. That's why he couldn't close.
Logan: You are truly out of your mind.
Kovac: You took away his killer instinct. I gave it back to him.

Peter: [after beating Kovac to death] You know the last thing he said? "You're gonna thank me."

Legacy [7.19] [G/E][edit]

[Goren and Eames investigate a murder at a prestigious private school]

Richmond: My daughter is not a murderer and she is not a lesbian.
Eames: Which of those scares you more, Mr. Richmond?

Capt. Ross: [about Manor Hill] It's Lord of the Flies up there.

Neighborhood Watch [7.20] [L/W][edit]

[The murder of a sex offender who was harassed by local police puts Logan and Wheeler up against a corrupt ADA]

Logan: My interest is piqued.
Wheeler: "Piqued"?
Logan: It's my new word for the week.

Logan: You know, one of the first cases I ever caught, guy was lying on the kitchen floor with his throat cut. There was a trail of blood out the door, all the way down the hall to the next apartment. So I go, knock on the door, a guy answers with a machete, covered in blood.
Capt. Ross: Yeah? What did he say?
Logan: "It was an accident."
Capt. Ross: This job. It's either tragic or stupid. Usually stupid.
Logan: Yeah, but even when it's stupid, they usually have some kind of a reason.
Capt. Ross: But this kid. Just for the thrill of it.
Logan: But that's the thing. He didn't even enjoy it.

Last Rites [7.21] [L/W][edit]

[Logan goes up against his nemesis, ADA Terri Driver, who retaliates by targeting Wheeler]

Logan: [about Driver] It's not personal; I just can't stand the woman.

Logan: The only person who could possibly know that a priest talked to us is in the Queen's DA's office - Terri Driver.
Capt. Ross: You're telling me a top ADA is ratting out a prison priest to a con?
Logan: She's running for Attorney General. Who knows what she'd do to protect her reputation?
Capt. Ross: For now, it's a coincidence.
Logan: Coincidence? Do you believe in the Easter Bunny too?
Capt. Ross: What's the matter, do you miss Staten Island?

Father Shea: Take care of yourself, detective, and may God watch over you.
Logan: [Chris Noth's last line on the series] That ought to keep Him busy.

Frame [7.22] [G/E][edit]

[Goren's brother is murdered, and Goren suspects that Nicole Wallace is responsible]

Capt. Ross: Nicole Wallace. I'm told she's your white whale.

Gage: There's a theme here, Bobby. Did you ever ask yourself "Why?" Why nobody ever came through for you? You think it was your fault?
Goren: Yes. I've thought that.
Gage: It isn't, you know. They failed you. You did everything you could for them. And more.
[Goren takes a moment to process this, then nods appreciatively.]
Goren: Thanks.

[Gage has murdered Nicole Wallace]
Gage: You should've seen her, Bobby. When she realized that it was finally her time, she looked up at me with those big doe eyes of hers and she said, "Tell Bobby he's the only man I ever loved." As if a monster like that were capable of love!

Gage: Frank, Nicole, me... we're dead weight. I wanted you to have a clean slate. You're free now. Bobby... You're free...

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