Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh
- Judge: I said I have a but!
- Drake: [chuckles] He said he had a butt.
- Josh: Shut up.
- Steve: The cow goes moo! I was trapped in a refrigerator! I take special vitamins!
- Little Boy: When is Santa going to be here?
- Steve: Well, I don't know, but I'll bet you old Saint Nick's going to be here real soon.
- Woman: Excuse me, I distinctly ordered a diet root beer, and this tastes like sh-
- Steve: I AM TALKING TO CHILDREN!!!!
- Steve: HEY! WHAT'S UP, D AND J? GETTING READY FOR THE PARADE?
- Drake: Yeah, positively.
- Steve: OKAY, WELL I'M JUST REMINDING YOU GUYS THAT YOU NEED TO GIVE THESE KIDS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER IF YOU WANNA STAY OUT OF JAIL!
- [last line of the film]
- Drake: So?
- Josh: So?
- Drake: Yes or no? Is this the best Christmas you ever had?
- Josh: It will be, after THIS! (throws snow at Drake)
- Drake: I'm gonna get you, Nichols!
- Josh: Bring it, Parker! (the two chase each other around)
- Drake: santas not looking for a relationship right now
- Fat girl: I want what that other girl was getting.
From the TV show
The show's vast majority of recurring characters returned for the special, all played by their original actors. Crazy Steve takes a more major role in this film, having a larger role in the film than Audrey or Walter.
|Drake Parker||Drake Bell|
|Josh Nichols||Josh Peck|
|Megan Parker||Miranda Cosgrove|
|Crazy Steve||Jerry Trainor|
|Audrey Parker Nichols||Nancy Sullivan|
|Walter Nichols||Jonathan Goldstein|
|Mindy Crenshaw||Allison Scagliotti|
|Eric Blonnowitz||Scott Halberstadt|
|Craig Ramirez||Alec Medlock|
|Helen Dubois||Yvette Nicole Brown|
|Mrs. Hayfer||Julia Duffy|
These characters all have a larger role than most characters, second only to Drake, Josh, and Megan.
|Mary Alice Johansson||Bailee Madison|
|Officer Perry J. Gilbert||David Pressman|
|Judge Newman||Henry Winkler|
The Parker-Nichols Family
- Audrey (2nd wife)
- Drake (step-son)
- Josh (son)
- Megan (step-daughter)
- Luke (adoptive half-son)
- Lily & Violet (twin adoptive half-daughters)
- Trey (adoptive half-son)
- Zigfee (adoptive half-son)
- Mary Alice (adoptive half-daughter)