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Peacemaker (TV series)

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Peacemaker (2022-) is an American superhero streaming TV series created by James Gunn. Based on the DC Comics character of the Peacemaker, and set after the events of The Suicide Squad, the series further explores jingoistic killer Christopher Smith / Peacemaker.

Season 1

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A Whole New Whirled [1.1]

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Peacemaker: I killed Rick Flag for you people!
Emilia Hartcourt: No one ever told you to kill Flag.
Peacemaker: Waller said do whatever I had to do to make sure those Project Starfish files didn't get out. I made the only choice I could.
Hartcourt: Funny, for you, how often "the only choice" and "killing people" coincides.
Hartcourt: Look, I have no interest in you other than your ability to fight for us. Just because you're handsome doesn't mean you're not a piece-of-shit murderer.
Peacemaker: You think I'm handsome?
Amanda Waller: I don’t care about the quality of the knife, as long as the blade is sharp.

Best Friend, For Never [1.2]

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Vigilante: Do you think I feel good when after some dude does some atrocious act, that I have to kill them?
Peacemaker: I don't know...
Vigilante: When I find out someone murdered an innocent person, or sold somebody heroin, or did some graffiti, and I kill that person with my bare hands, their eyeballs popping out of their skulls... You think THAT gives ME pleasure?
Peacemaker: [sighs] No...
Vigilante: Well, it does! [laughs] It gives you pleasure too, Peacemaker, that's cause we are born killers! What separates us from the other killers, is we only kill bad people. Usually... Unless there's a mistake! Now, do I sound like a fucking maniac?
Peacemaker: Do you read the news?
Vigilante: No. What for? It's depressing.

Better Goff Dead [1.3]

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Vigilante: Just remember, even if they end up being okay to "work with", they’re still not gonna be good friends. And none of them is the type to be a best friend!

The Choad Less Traveled [1.4]

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Peacemaker: One of the most important things about killing someone, to me, is a fucking dove of peace on the weapon.
Old Man: Batman doesn't kill people!
Peacemaker: Because he's a pussy!
Old Man: He's a dark creature of the night!
Peacemaker: He's a jackass who wrestles with murderers dressed like clowns and throws them in prison, so they can break out of prison and then murder more people! Riddle me this, how many people you think Batman's indirectly murdered by being too much of a candy-ass to not kill these fools who clearly need to be smoked once and for all, you wrinkly, Sharpei-looking, dementia-infested fuck!
Vigilante: Shouldn't you kill him, then?
Peacemaker: No! I'm not gonna kill my dad!
Vigilante: Why not?
Peacemaker: Because I love him.
Vigilante: Oh!
Peacemaker: Well, Dad, maybe I'm a grower... not a shower.
Auggie: What?
Peacemaker: I don't mean like a dіck! I mean, like, a... a person, like, a guy, who you... like more as time goes on. An individual you don't like and then... you... you learn to like.
Auggie: You're comparing yourself to a choad!
Peacemaker: Not in a bad way!
Vigilante: I'm grateful that Black people gave us rock and roll music. Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, 38 Special... All those guys owe everything to Black American folk and blues musicians. I mean, they wouldn't exist without 'em, and then white redneck music would just sound like... well, what it sounded like before black people, which was the wet, sloppy sounds of fucking your sister. Okay, so that's my turn. Which one of you dumb, sister-fucking, tiki-torch-carrying, Sloth-from-the-Goonies-looking pieces of sh¡t wants to go next?
Inmate: Who the fuck are you?
Vigilante: You're first? Cool! Okay, wait. No, let me guess. Your favorite contribution to Black American culture was all the black guys who fucked your mom in the ass while you watched from the closet, jerking off?
Vigilante: [to Auggie] You're a bad dad.

Monkey Dory [1.5]

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[extended version from the outtakes]
Economos: Dude, I didn't mean to put your father in prison.
Peacemaker: Then why'd you put him there, you fat fuck?!
Economos: Because I couldn't think of anybody else!
Peacemaker: Well, what about Ariana Grande, or Drake?!
Economos: What?!
Peacemaker: Brad Pitt or Payne Stewart or Doug the Pug... Khloé Kardashian, the red tiger from Voltron, Tinky-Winky, Mariska Hargitay, Mario, Super Mario, fuckin' Luigi! Yoshi, the Princess, Bert, Ernie, Grover, Snuffleupagus, Burger King, Grimace, Ronald McDonald, the two old guys on the balcony from The Muppets? Fran Tarkenton, Joe Montana, Joe Mantegna...
Economos: What the fuck?!
Peacemaker: ...Eddie Murphy, Michael Jordan, Michael B. Jordan, BTS? Eugene Levy?!
Economos: Fuck, dude, half...!
Peacemaker: Jon Lovitz? Shut the fuck up and listen, man. I'm giving you a list of people you could've done! Danny DeVito, Andy Kaufman, Jim Morrison, any one of the fuckin' Beatles! Pete Best? George Carlin.
Economos: Dead!
Peacemaker: Danny Glover! Mel Gibson! Ice-T! Ice Cube! Vanilla Ice! Elvis fuckin' Presley, Priscilla Presley... Seth Meyers! What about Seth Meyers, or for that matter, Jay Leno? Conan's not really doing much right now! Will Ferrell, Howard Stern, Baba Booey, Robin Ophelia Quivers, fuckin Telly Savalas, Freddie Stroma, James Gunn! What the fuck, dude?!
Economos: Those last two aren't even things!
Peacemaker: Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, Sharon Osbourne. Bill Cosby, he just got out, he's got time on his hands! Amy Winehouse...
Economos: Dude, Amy Winehouse is fucking dead!
Peacemaker: Optimus Prime, Shipwreck, Cobra Commander, the fuckin' cunts from Riverdale!
Economos: Alright, most of those, you're right -- could probably go to prison. But I would never put Ariana Grande in there! She looks too innocent!
Peacemaker: Possibly true! Possibly.

Murn After Reading [1.6]

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Kid With the Sad Eyes: You said the Blackheart Ruby weighed thirty pounds.
Peacemaker: Yes.
Kid With the Sad Eyes: And Kite Man was riding a kite?
Peacemaker: That's right!
Kid With the Sad Eyes: Wouldn't he have crashed anyway, due to gravity?
Peacemaker: [long pause] No.
Gender-Swapped Alfred E. Neuman: Have you ever met the Flash?
Peacemaker: Yeah, I have met the Flash. Like everybody else who's ever met him, I thought he was an unbearable d-bag.
Vigilante: Dude. My advice? Cut it out with the introspection. The mind is a den of scorpions better left running from, not towards.
Leota: You took over someone?
"Murn": Yes.
Leota: Yeah, you killed someone, whoever "Murn" really was!
"Murn": I needed to stop them! So I inhabited the worst person I could find. This man, Leota, he's... he's a murderer. But still, I know his thoughts. He's... Even he could have changed. I know that. I took that from him. I took his freedom and his face. And every day, I dread waking up to his memories.
Vigilante: We used to go out, kill bad guys. Boom, boom, boom. No problem. We accidentally kill the wrong person? "Aw, shoot. Bummer. That stinks". Then we move on! Now, suddenly, you've got this weird, new-age belief that all life is sacred!
Peacemaker: School wasn’t my bag. It’s for dorks.

Stop Dragon My Heart Around [1.7]

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Peacemaker: [to Auggie, while punching him] You killed my brother! You killed Keith! And you're only right about one thing, I am a piece of shit! I'm a piece of shit for listening to you for all those years! I'm a piece of shit for not killing you in your sleep!
Auggie: [laughs] You hit like a girl!
[Peacemaker storms over to Auggie's luger and picks it up, pointing it at him.]
Auggie: Well go ahead and do it, you fucking pussy! [Peacemaker hesitates.] I knew you couldn't do it, you faggot. 'Cause I control you! Whether or not I kill you, you'll never be able to get the fuck away--
[Peacemaker shoots, then collapses, crying.]
Vigilante: Dude, this is a really weird time to do your face exercises. I mean, I guess you don't get a totally sick, jacked face like yours without dedication, but...
Economos: He's crying, asshole.
Economos: [to Vigilante] So you're compassionate about tape, but not brutally murdering people?
Vigilante: Yes.

It's Cow or Never [1.8]

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Auggie Hallucination: The fuck are you doing?
Peacemaker: Getting my poison blowgun, fucko!
Auggie Hallucination: Well, why don't you just go for your piece, cumstain?!
Peacemaker: You're metaphorical, douchewad!
Butterfly: Why did he do that to his beard?
Economos: Do what?
Butterfly: Why did he color his beard all strange like that?
Economos: He thought it made him look younger and more handsome. He never had a girlfriend, so he thought dyeing his beard might help. But he was also lazy, and busy with his job... and he wouldn't dye his roots regularly. And when he did, he used the cheapest brand because he was incredibly underpaid. Mostly, though, he never thought anybody noticed. Until recently, when one guy said it to him all the time.

Cast

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