The Wolf of Wall Street (2013 film)

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

The Wolf of Wall Street is a 2013 film, based on the true story of Jordan Belfort, about his rise to a wealthy stockbroker living the high life and his fall involving drugs, sex and corruption.

Directed by Martin Scorsese. Written by Terence Winter, based on Jordan Belfort's memoir of the same name.

Jordan Belfort[edit]

  • [First lines] 25 grand to the first cocksucker to nail the bulls-eye!
  • [voiceover] I'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in Bayside, Queens. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week.
  • On a daily basis, I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10 to 15 times a day for my "back pain," Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine, well, because it's awesome.
  • You want to know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. "Fuck" this, "shit" that, "cunt", "cock", "asshole"; I couldn't believe how these guys talked to each other. I was hooked in seconds. It was like main-lining adrenaline.
  • The Quallude, or Lude, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an Indian doctor -that's dots, not feathers- as a sedative, and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders. But, pretty soon, somebody figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just 15 minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. Didn't take long for people to start abusing Ludes of course, and in 1982, the U.S. Government "Schedule 1'd" them, along with the rest of the world. Which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. No shit. You can't even buy them, anymore. You people are all shit out of luck.
  • Her pussy was like heroin to me. And it wasn't just about the sex either. Naomi and I got along. I mean, we had similar interests and shit.
  • An IPO is an initial public offering. It's a first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population. Now as the firm taking the company public, we set the initial sales price, then sold those shares right back to our friends. The i- Look, I-I know you're not following what I'm saying anyway, right? That's-that's okay. That doesn't matter. The real question is this: was all this legal? Absolutely fucking not. But we were making more money than we knew what do with.
  • [Makes a successful stock sale] Fuck that motherfucker!
  • Let me tell you something. There's no nobility in poverty. I've been a rich man, and I've been a poor man. And I choose rich every fucking time.
  • This right here is the land of opportunity. This is America. This is my home! The show goes on! [quoting from Norma Rae] They're gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, 'cause I ain't going nowhere!
  • FYI boys, Danielle has promised to use this $10,000 for breast implants. She's already got C-cups, but now she wants FUCKIN' DOUBLE D'S!
  • [voiceover] Donnie and I were going out on our own. And the first thing we needed was brokers. Guys with sales experience. So I recruited some of my hometown boys: Sea Otter, who sold meat and weed; Chester, who sold tires and weed; and Robbie, who sold anything he could get his hands on, mostly weed.
  • [about his affair with Naomi] I felt horrible. Three days later, I filed for a divorce and moved Naomi into the apartment.
  • Look, I knew these guys weren't like Harvard MBAs. Robbie Feinberg, the Pinhead, took five years to finish high school. Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter, didn't even graduate. Chester Ming, the depraved China man, thought jujitsu was in Israel. Smartest of the bunch was Nicky Koskoff. He actually went to law school. I called him Rugrat because of his piece of shit hairpiece. Still, give them to me young, hungry, and stupid, and in no time, I'll make 'em rich.
  • I will NOT die sober! GET THE FUCKING LUDES!
  • I clean up my act, I did rehab, I'm a TV personality, I'm sober for two years, and THIS happens. Rugrat goes and gets busted down in Miami, and guess who the fuck with? Saurel. I mean, what are the fucking odds? There had to be 10,000 Swiss bankers in Geneva, and Rugrat gets the one dumb enough to get himself arrested on U.S. soil. Even more fucked, was that he got busted for shit that had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to fucking do with me! Something about laundering drug money through off-shore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki. You know, the founder of Benihana. Benihana? Beni-fucking-hana? BENI-FUCKING-HANA?! WHY?! WHY, WHY, GOD?! Why would You be so cruel as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants to take me down?!
  • [voiceover] I'm not ashamed to admit it. When we arrived to prison, I was absolutely terrified. But I needn't have been. See, for a brief fleeting moment, I'd forgotten I was rich and I lived in a place where everything was for sale. Wouldn't you like to learn how to sell it?
  • [last lines] Sell me this pen.
  • So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on you credit card bills? Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think you're fucking worthless loser? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich!
  • The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.

Donnie Azoff[edit]

  • [peeing on his subpoena] Fuck you, U.S.A. Fuck you, U.S.A. Fuck you! Fuck you!
  • [Shouting at an employee for cleaning a fish bowl] On new issue day?! On cocksucking motherfucking new issue day?! This is what you do!
  • I don't wanna die, Jordan! I've done a lot of bad shit, I'm going to hell!
  • I'll tell you one thing: I'm never eating at Benihana again, I don't care whose birthday it is.

Mark Hanna[edit]

  • We don't start dialing at 9:30, because our clients are already answering the phone! 3...2...1...LET'S FUCK!
  • We don't give two shits about how technology works, 'cause all we care about is getting fucking RICH!
  • [Takes a small snort of cocaine] Mmm, Tootski.
  • Why the fuck else would you do this job? Cocaine and hookers, my friend.
  • This little thing here, it's called COCAINE. It keeps you sharp between the ears, helps your fingers dial faster.
  • [Seeing the results of Black Monday ] HOLY...FUCKING...SHIT.

Patrick Denham[edit]

  • Let me give you some legal advice: Shut the fuck up!


Mark Hanna: Jordan Belfort.
Jordan: Y-yes, sir.
Mark Hanna: Mark Hanna.
Jordan: [Shakes his hand] Pleasure to meet you.
Mark Hanna: And you as well. [Gestures to Fogel] I see you've already met the village asshole.
Jerry Fogel: [Slams a stack of cards in front of Jordan] Smile and dial. And don't pick up your fucking head until 1:00.
Mark Hanna: [To Jordan] Hey, fuck him. I'm the senior broker here, he's just a worthless piker.
Jerry Fogel: Why don't you blow me, Hanna? [Hanna purses his lips at Fogel]

Mark Hanna: Get us two Absolut martinis. You know how I like 'em, straight up. In 7 and 1/2 minutes, you will bring us two more, then two more every 5 minutes after that, until one of us passes the fuck out.
Hector: Excellent strategy, sir.
Jordan: [to the waiter] Oh, I'm good with water for now.
Mark Hanna: It's his first day on Wall Street. Give him time.

Mark Hanna: The name of the game; move the money from the client's pocket into your pocket.
Jordan: Right. But, if you can make your clients money at the same time it's advantageous to everyone, correct?
Mark Hanna: No. Number one rule of Wall Street: Nobody- Okay, if you're Warren Buffet or Jimmy Buffet - Nobody knows if the stock's going to go up, down, sideways, or in fucking circles, least of all stockbrokers. It's all a Fugazzi. You know what a Fugazzi is?
Jordan: It's, uh... "Fugazi", it's a fake...
Mark Hanna: Fugazi, Fugazzi. It's a wazzy, it's a woozy. It's [whistles] fairy dust. It doesn't exist. It's Neverlanded. It is no matter. It's not on the elemental chart. It's not fucking real. Stay with me. We don't create shit. We don't build anything. So if you've got a client who bought stock at 8 and it now sits at 16, and he's all fuckin' happy. He wants to cash in, liquidate, take his fuckin' money and run home. You don't let him do that, because that would make it real. No. What do you do? You get another brilliant idea. A special idea. Another "situation". Another stock, to reinvest his earnings and then some. And he will, every single time, because they're fucking addicted. And then you just keep doing this, again and again and again and again. Meanwhile, he thinks he's getting shit rich, which he is, on paper. But you and me, the brokers, we're taking home cold hard cash via commission, motherfucker!

Mark Hanna: You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off?
Jordan: Do... do I jerk off? Um, yeah... yeah, I jerk off.
Mark Hanna: How many times a week?
Jordan: Like um... three, three or four times maybe.
Mark Hanna: All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least... twice a day.
Jordan: Wow.

Donnie: How much money you make?
Jordan: $70,000 last month.
Donnie: Get the fuck outta here!
Jordan: Well technically, $72,000 last month.
Donnie: You show me a pay stub for $72,000, I quit my job right now and work for you.
[later, on the phone]
Donnie: Hey Paulie, what's up? No, everything's fine. Hey listen, I quit!

Jordan: I heard some stupid shit. I... I didn't even want to bring it up. It's just... stupid.
Donnie: Shit with me?
Jordan: You know, just... people say shit. I don't even know. I don't even listen to it half the time.
Donnie: What do they say?
Jordan: Shit about you and your cousin or something like that. I don't even listen to it. It doesn't even...
Donnie: No... it's not like that. It's not like that.
Jordan: You know what I mean? Like you married your cousin or some stupid shit, you know?
Donnie: Yeah, my wife... yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever. But it's not like what you think or whatever, you know...
Jordan: Is she like a... first cousin, or is she...
Donnie: Yeah, no. She... you know, her... her father is the... is the brother of my mom.
Jordan: Mhm.
Donnie: It's not like... Look. We grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know. She fuckin' grew up hot and all of my friends were trying to fuck her, you know, and I wasn't... I'm not gonna let someone, you know, one of these assholes fuck my cousin. So I, you know, used the cousin thing as like... like an in with her. I'm not gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? If anyone is gonna fuck my cousin it's gonna be me, out of... out of respect, you know?

Jordan: Ow! It's that slipped disc thing again.
Max Belfort: I know what it is, you know. Too much...[Makes thrusting gesture] eh, with E.J. Entertainment.
Jordan: [Tries to laugh it off] Pops...
Max Belfort: How are things at home?
Jordan: Eh, not the best. She just doesn't...know what I'm saying? It's like this smell, this attraction thing, and after a while, it kind of fades away a little bit.
Max Belfort: Yeah, well, it's supposed to fade away.
Jordan: Supposed to?
Max Belfort: That's marriage. Your mother and I, we've been married for a long, long time. What do you think, we're jumping into bed every two minutes? It doesn't work that way.
Jordan: I love her. I love her to death. I want to stay married, Dad, but,'s crazy out there. Some of these girls, you should see them. [Rolls his eyes] Oh my god! [Bites his fist] They're fucking-the things they're doing now, Pops, I mean, whoo! I mean, it's on a whole 'nother level.
Max Belfort: Really?
Jordan: And they're all shaved, too.
Max Belfort: Get outta here!
Jordan: They're all shaven.
Max Belfort: Really? No bush?
Jordan: Bald-bald as a china doll.
Max Belfort: No bush?
Jordan: No bush.
Max Belfort: Oh, my god.
Jordan: All of a sudden, one week, nobody had...anything down there.
Max Belfort: It's a new world.
Jordan: They're bald from the eyebrows, down.
Max Belfort: Wow.
Jordan: Nothing, not a stitch. It's like, lasers.
Max Belfort: See, I was born too...too early.
Jordan: I've never been a fan of the bush, to be honest.
Max Belfort: Really? I don't mind it.

Jordan: [voiceover] I fucked her brains out... for eleven seconds.
Naomi: Did you just cum?
Jordan: Oh yeah. I just came. Did you? Did you cum?
Naomi: No.
Jordan: No? Okay. I'm still hard. Just give me a second.
Naomi: Sure.

Jordan: [holding his child] Does Daddy get a kiss from both of his little girls?
Naomi: Oh, no. No, Daddy doesn't even get to touch Mommy for a very, very... very long time.
Jordan: Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room; he didn't mean any of it!
Naomi: Daddy shouldn't waste his time. And from now on... it's gonna be nothing but short, short skirts around the house. And you know something else, Daddy? Mommy is just so sick and tired of wearing panties. [spreads her legs to show him]
Jordan: Yeah?
Naomi: Yeah. [pushes him away with her legs] But no touching.
Jordan: Oh, gosh.

Donnie: I got a couple of mil' comin' in like a week. And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up.
Brad: You'll give me a call?
Donnie: When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up.
Chantalle: Well, we don't work for you, man!
Donnie: Sweetheart, you have my money taped to your tits. Technically, you do work for me.

Donnie: I check my messages every day when I come home from work... my answering machine... zero! I got a blinking light because I don't have shit from you. I got my wife... I got my wife checking the messages every 45 minutes calling the office saying. "Has Brad apologized yet? Is there an apology message on the machine?" I don't have jack-shit. You know what? That's not how you treat people.
Brad: You gotta be a fucking pal... You know what, I'm gonna give you a fucking pass, just give me the case.
Donnie: You're gonna give me a pass?
Brad: Look, it's a figure of fucking speech, just give me the fucking...
Donnie: Oh my God, the emperor of Fucksville came down from Fucksville to give me a pass! Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Is it, is it mayhem? Are people looting and raping? What are all the little fuckheads doing while you're here?

Jordan: You guys hungry? Want something to eat? We got some, uh, pasta, shrimp, lobster. I got whiskey, any kind of booze you want.
Denham: You know what? The Bureau doesn't allow us to drink while we're at sea.
Jordan: Duh!

Denham: You know, Jordan, I'll tell you something. Most of the Wall Street jackasses that I bust... They're to the manor born. Their fathers are douchebags, just like their fathers before them. But you, you, Jordan, you got this way all on your own.
Jordan: Did I?
Denham: Good for you, little man.
Jordan: Little man? [laughing] Me, the little man?
Denham: Let me tell you something else. This is one of the nicest boats I'd ever been on. I gotta tell ya.
Jordan: I bet it is.
Denham: Hey, you wanna know what I was just thinking too? The hero I'm going to be back at the office when the Bureau seizes this boat, because I'm getting fuckety, fuck, fuck, Jordan. Look at this face! It's beautiful! And you got the beautiful girls there. It's wonderful!
Jordan: [laughing] All right, get the fuck off my boat.

Jordan: You want a beer, pal?
Donnie: What are you drinkin'?
Jordan: I got this non-alcoholic shit...
Donnie: What's that?
Jordan: It's like a non-alcoholic beer. It's got no... no alcohol.
Donnie: It's a beer?
Jordan: Yeah, with no alcohol.
Donnie: But, you drink enough and... you drink a lot and it'll get you fucked up?
Jordan: No, there's no alcohol. That's the fuckin' point.
Donnie: I'm not a scientist; I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I can get you beer if you want fuckin' beer.
Jordan: I know, but I don't drink, remember? I don't drink anymore?
Donnie: What, you wanna go inside and blow some lines of baking powder, baking soda? Can't imagine ever not enjoying getting fucked up. I love it.
Jordan: Yeah...
Donnie: How's being sober?
Jordan: It fuckin' sucks.
Donnie: Boring, right?
Jordan: So boring. I'm gonna kill myself.

[Naomi finds Jordan snorting cocaine]
Naomi: Look at yourself, Jordan. Sick! You're a sick man!
Jordan: [shouts] Fuck you! I told you you're not taking my fucking kids! You fucking...
Naomi: You think I would let my kids near you?! Look at yourself! You know what my lawyer said? My lawyer said that you're going to prison for 20 years, Jordan. Twenty fucking years! You're never gonna see the kids again!
Jordan: You don't think I'm gonna see my kids?!
Naomi: No! I'm not fucking letting you near my kids!
[Jordan walks to his daughter's bedroom.]
Naomi: [trying to stop Jordan] Don't you fucking touch her!
[Jordan punches Naomi in the stomach]
Jordan: Don't you fucking touch me!


External links[edit]