Two and a Half Men (season 12)

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The following is a list of quotes from the twelfth season of Two and a Half Men.

Of Course He's Dead [12.15/16][edit]

Walden: You don't have the death certificate, do you?
Alan: No, but I'm sure my mom does.
Walden: How are you gonna get it from her without telling her about the money?
Alan: Uh, remember four years ago, how I told you I'd only be here a few days? I think I can figure it out.
Walden: [looking at audience] I can't wait for this to be over.

[The series' last lines]
Walden: Wow, look at that.
Berta: Someone's having a piano delivered by helicopter.
Alan: That's the kind of extravagant thing Charlie would do. He had a baby grand just like that.
Walden: It's coming right this way. You don't think...that it's possible that the cops got the wrong guy, do you?
Alan and Berta: [after a thought] Nah!
[Charlie, seen from behind, walks up to the front door and rings the doorbell. He is immediately crushed by the piano. Pull back to find, sitting in the director's chair...]
Chuck Lorre: [turning to audience] Winning.
[He is crushed by another piano]