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Animaniacs (season 5)

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Animaniacs (1993–1998) is an American animated comedy musical television series created by Tom Ruegger. The series premiered on Fox Kids on September 13, 1993. It was moved to Kids' WB on September 9, 1995 and ended on November 14, 1998.

Episodes

[edit]

Message in a Bottle/Back in Style/Bones in the Body [5.01]

[edit]
[The Warners are on a boat at the sea]
Wakko: I think we're lost.
Dot: [sees a message in a bottle bobbing up and down on the water] Look, a message in a bottle.
[Yakko grabs the bottle from the water]
Wakko: Fan mail for some flounder?
Yakko: No, it's from some entertainment lawyer. [to the viewers] We should have never stolen this bit.
Dot: At least we didn't steal this next cartoon.
Yakko: [to Dot] That’s what you think.
Narrator: In 1962, Termite Terrace the Warner Bros original cartoon studio had closed its doors for the last time the world’s best cartoon stars were given their walking papers.
[The cartoon characters are leaving the building]
Daffy Duck: Hey, quit shoving.
Bugs Bunny: Calm down, Daf. There's a flavored drink commercial with us written all over it in Hollywood.
Daffy Duck: Wait up, Tex! [walks off]
Bugs Bunny: Opportunists.
Friz: [draws a grey panther, which is similar to the Pink Panther] I got me an idea and you don't. It's called The Gray Panther.
Yosemite Sam: I just love the way he talks.
Treg Green: Oh, it was grim 29 years we were there turning out the great poop. Then the bunch of us tossed out on a heap to round but quick.
Narrator: Things looked even worse for the Warner's with no more cartoon department. They were sealed in the tower for keeps. The management bet the studio's future entirely on a certain upcoming big budget live action film starring Taboo.
[Chicken Boo appears]

It/Dot - The Macadamia Nut/Bully for Skippy [5.02]

[edit]
[Dot laughs offscreen]
Yakko and Wakko: Hello, Nurse!
Yakko: Uh...
Dot: I am NOT Trying to be annoying.
Yakko and Wakko: [in Spanish accents] AI!
Dot: [singing] I act like a nut, so they call me Macadamia.
I dance like a klutz on a show called Animania.
Am I a cutie? Absolutie!
And a beauty, you can bet your patooty!
Dot, Minerva Mink, and Hello Nurse: But if you touch me, or even get near me,
I'll have you arrested...Do you hear me?
Yakko and Wakko: Dot is a nut, so they call her Macadamia.
She's cracked in the head and kooky in the brainia.
Each line in this song sounds pretty much the same-ia.
Oy, Macadamia!
Ralph: Duh!
Yakko and Wakko: [in Spanish accents] ¿Donde que vas a Lerendo Macadamia?
Hoia que paste le grande Crack O' Crania.
Qui a coupé le lege we abstaenia.
Slappy, Hello Nurse, Skippy, and Ralph: Oy, Macadamia!
[Wakko belches]
Dot: [singing] Now, please, don't mention my brother, the one they call Wakkorino!
[Wakko belches again. Overdubbed harmony plays in the background]
He's always burping every hour, so I threw him out of the tower!
[Wakko yells; laughs]
Now, come on! What did you want me to do? He was grossing me out! And I'm just a cute little thing, so don't cross me!
Yakko and Wakko: She's cracked like a nut, so they call her Macadamia.
Whenever she gets mad, you'll experience pania.
Cuts and bruises you will sustainia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Pinky: Narf!
Yakko and Wakko: [in Spanish accents] Lava tus manos, por favor, Macadamia.
The world is the goal for Pinky and the Brainia.
Dot: [in her Spanish accent] Otra vez on y vas the repetitive refrainia...
Slappy, Hello Nurse, Skippy, and Ralph: Oy, Macadamia!
Brain: Yes!
[Break it down now!]
Dot: Don't hate me because I'm cute!
[Pesto beats up Squit]
Squint: Ow!
Yakko: Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Skippy: Spew!
Yakko: Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Chicken Boo: Bacawk!
[Dot laughs. Skippy laughs. Pinky laughs. Minerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Skippy, Pinky, and Dot laugh]
Slappy: [spoken] I don't get it. What's the joke?
Minerva Mink, Hello Nurse, Skippy, Pinky, and Dot: Uh...
Yakko: Uh...
Dot: I'm a nut who's known as Macadamia.
But you can call me by my other nameia.
Dot, Minerva Mink, and Hello Nurse: Louisa Francesa Banana Fana Bo Besca.
Dot: Or just plain "Dot", the name I flirt to.
But if you call me "Dottie", I'll have to hurt you!
Warners: Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia!
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Mac M-Mac, Mac Mac, Macadamia,
Oy, Macadamia Nuts!
Skippy: This has been the worst day ever in the whole wide world.
Slappy: You mean Mel Brooks made a sequel to Robin Hood: Men in Tights?

Cute First (Ask Questions Later)/Acquaintances/Here Comes Attila/Boo Wonder [5.03]

[edit]
[After the guard (Mr. Crazy Person) sets Dot free after being overwhelmed by her cuteness]
Dot: [to the viewers] Don't try this at home. I'm a trained professional.

Magic Time/The Brain's Apprentice [5.04]

[edit]
Dot: And now, my solo. [takes a deep breath, and screams a loud screech, causing Schnitzel and Floyd to disintegrate] Just a little thing I do.
[Last lines; after the Warners volunteered for the Don Rickles counterpart Ron Pickles]
Ron Pickles: Oh, this is too easy!
Yakko: [to the viewers] I guess he didn't see our act.

Hooray for North Hollywood [5.05-5.06]

[edit]
Yakko: What da ya know? We actually did it!
Dot: We wrote a script.
Wakko: We've written a show.
Yakko: 800 pages.
Warners: We overdid it!
Wakko: But we've still got a chance to get rich.
Yakko: We've just gotta make that pitch.
To the CEO who gives the go.
Dot: 'Cause he's the guy says yes or no.
Warners: To make it into a movie so you see!
Yakko: Out the door, my friends and follow me!
Wakko: Hey, where are we going?
Yakko: We're on our way to go see Mr. Plotz,
'Cause he's the man in charge who calls the shots.
Dot: He's really good, he's Hollywood,
And no one can deny.
Wakko: He knows the biz 'cause he's a whiz.
Warners: And that, my friends, is why.
We're on our way to go see Mr. Plotz.
Dot: I hear he's got a plane and several yachts.
Yakko: 'Cause he's successful; he's a genius,
He's the man who has it all.
Dot: Got a Bentley in his driveway.
Wakko: And an Oscar on his wall.
Warners: He's the guy that Steven Spielberg wants to know.
Steven: I wanna know!
Crowd: He's Mr. Plotz, the Warner CEO.
Warners: The script is great real first rate
That is why we just can't wait
To hear him say it's all a go
To make it into a movie so.
Crowd: They're on their way to go see Mr. Plotz,
'Cause he’s the king of all the movie lots.
Warners: He takes a lunch with Streisand and she always pays the bill,
Plays golf with Arnold Palmer, hired Cecil B. DeMille!
Wakko: He even made money on a movie with Don Knotts, my hero!
Warners: That's why we're on our way to go see Mr.
Yakko and Wakko: Warner Brothers.
Dot: And Warner Sister.
Warners: On our way to go see Mr. Plah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah...
Ready or not, here we come!
Gonna see Mr. Plotz!
[They stop to see other producers are waiting in line to see Plotz as well]
Yakko: [to the viewers] So are the rest of people in town.
Dot: Gee, look at all the people on hold.
Yakko: Yeah, they're all waiting to schmooze Plotzie.
Wakko: Schmooze? What's that?
Yakko: That's how you make deals in Hollywood, Wakko. You've gotta shoot the breeze, talk the talk. You know - schmooze! Like this. [takes the desk]
Dot: [takes the telephone line] Mr. Plotz's office. Please hold. Sid Scheinberg on Line Two!
Yakko: [singing] Sidney, sweetie, baby, you're terrific!
Oh, my other line is ringing; can you hold?
Keanu, man, I flipped, 'cause I've got the perfect script
And, believe me, you're the only one I've told.
Dot: Meryl, honey, darling, babe, I love ya!
It's the perfect part; there's no way you can fail.
And that's 'cause you're the best. You are way above the rest
And I understand you used to work for scale. [spoken] Eisner!
Yakko: Michael, green light's right at 50,000,000.
We're talking Costner so we're shopping it around.
You know, the line's around the corner and they love it out at Warner.
You don't want to be the guy who turned it down.
Yakko and Dot: You gotta do the schmooze
Or else you'll wind up being yesterday's news.
Yakko: You gotta schmooze 'em while you're talkin' PR from the phone in your car,
Be the guy who says that "I can make you a star!"
Dot: You gotta learn to schmooze,
Tell everyone about your friend Tom Cruise
And say you recommended Cher for a party you gave DeNiro his start
And on The Simpsons you suggested that they call the kid Bart.
Yakko: You did the meal; you closed the deal.
You made an offer that they couldn't refuse
And that's the way that you schmooze!
Wakko: [spoken] Hey, I think I can do that!
Yakko: [spoken] Be my guest!
Dot: [spoken]Martin Scorcese on Line Three!
Wakko: Marty, babe, I've got this script; you'll love it!
It's a story no one else has ever had.
You see, it comes from Hollywood, it's about a guy who's good,
And he has to fight another guy, who's bad.
Dot: [spoken] Tarantino!
Wakko: Your treatment, man, is absolutely brilliant.
It's got potential and we think it's really hot.
We feel the only thing it needs Is rewriting all the leads.
And we'd like to see you try a different plot.
Dot: [spoken] Schwarzenegger!
Wakko: Arnold, babe, there ain't nobody like you.
That action thing you absolutely own.
But Zemeckis has the clout, so the backing points are out,
'Sides, we figure we can always get Stallone.
Arnold: [on the phone; spoken and enraged] Stallone?! Are you kidding me?! I'll come down there and kill you!
Warners: You gotta do the schmooze
And you can be a regular lollapalooze.
Dot: Rubbing elbows with that Hollywood bunch.
Wakko: Eating sushi for lunch.
Yakko: Show the ladies your Mercedes down at Spago for brunch!
Warners: You gotta schmooze or lose,
You're on the A-list; you're the person they choose.
Dot: To make a movie that'll beat out the rest.
Wakko: And be dramatically best.
Yakko: Get Antonio Banderas; he can show off his chest!
Warners: You wanna make it to the top and be the cream of the crop?
You can't lose, if you learn how to schmooze!
[Beep!]
Wakko: [spoken] Is that my pager or my cell phone?
Miss Hofflemeyer: Oh, Ewoks! Mr. Plotz will see you now.
Yakko: Ready?
Wakko and Dot: Ready!
Yakko: All right - we're on!
Warners: [singing] This is where we go in, and it's either we win or we lose,
Just as long as we schmooze!
Plotz: Who do you have in mind for the actors?
Yakko: They're terrible, they can't act!
Plotz: That's bad.
Yakko: They're movie stars!
Plotz: That's good!
Yakko: They're gonna want a lot of money!
Plotz: That's bad.
Yakko: But we won't give it to 'em!
Plotz: That's good!
Yakko: I see an Academy Award in the future!
Plotz: That's good!
Yakko: But not for us.
Plotz: That's bad.
Yakko: Spielberg's gonna direct.
Plotz: That's good!
Yakko: But not this picture.
Plotz: That's bad.
Yakko: But we got Zemeckis!
Plotz: That's good!
Yakko: It's Freddy Zemeckis, from accounting.
Plotz: That's bad.
Yakko: We cut the budget to the bare bones!
Plotz: That's good!
Yakko: It'll cost a hundred million.
Plotz: That's bad.
Yakko: What would you say if I stopped talking?
Plotz: That's good!
Yakko: What if we just start singing?
Plotz: That's bad.
Yakko: There are 50,000 diff'rent kinds of animals
And there are 50,000 more that used to be.
There's a hundred million ants and a half a billion plants
And a lot of fish down underneath the sea.
There's gotta be a couple million spiders,
A hundred 50,000,000 butterflies and bees,
And a bunch of different mammals like those elephants and camels
And approximately 50,000,000,000 trees!
Yakko and Wakko: But there is only one of you; that makes you special.
You stand out among the other things, it's true!
Warners: Yes, the universe is large and whoever is in charge
Made lots of things but only one of you!
Yakko: A one and a two and a three and a four
A thousand and a million and a billion or more!
There's a trillion drops of water in the ocean,
And a billion trillion molecules of air.
There are insects here en masse, and a trillion blades of grass,
And a thousand strands on every head of hair.
A lot of little grains of dirt make up this planet,
Z billion atoms on the head of every pin,
A million birds that all can fly, a trillion stars up in the sky,
And all the many different people there have been!
Warners: But there is only one of you; that makes you special.
Yes, there is nothing else exactly like you are!
As you're unique and you're terrific and you're kinda built specific
'Cause there's no one else the same as the person you became.
Wakko: In fact you're kind of weird!
Yakko: But we like you just the same!
Warners: 'Cause you're the only one of you there are! Baba-dootin baba-dootin' baba-doo-bah!
Wakko: In Hollywood, they have a certain way they like to talk.
It's used by all those folks who can't chew gum and also walk.
Yakko: It's found inside Variety, a movie magazine.
Wakko: And everyone who reads it wonders what the headlines mean.
Yakko: Like "Mitch makes a pitch, and he's gonna get rich"...
Wakko: Means someone's got a movie that sold.
Yakko: "Brando's mad, says the screenplay's bad"...
Wakko: Means someone else was offered the role.
Yakko: It's called Fargo Two with a story that's new"...
Wakko: Means they're gonna shoot it all in LA.
Yakko: "The budget got maxed, so someone got faxed"...
Wakko: Everybody's on the carpet, so the writer got the axe.
Dot: Well, "Merchandise scores in the theme park stores"...
Yakko: And Disney is the king of the hill.
Dot: "Michael Ovitz in talks with 20th Fox"...
Yakko: Means he wants another ninety-three mil.
Wakko: If you want the poop...
Dot: Or ya need the scoop...
Yakko: On Hollywood Town this week...
Warners: You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls: Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko: "Studio bomb, gets Oscar nom"...
Dot: Means all the actors gotta be Brits.
Wakko: "Bronfman's play for MCA"...
Yakko: Means the Japanese are calling it quits.
Wakko: "No scripts are new" means Jurassic Park 2...
Dot: And a trillion little dinosaur toys.
Yakko: "The cash flows nice, they're releasin' it twice"
Since it isn't out on video, they're jackin' up the price.
Dot: Well, "Studio Czar wants unknown star"...
Yakko: Means they couldn't get Robert Duvall.
Wakko: But "They're in trouble again, doing Mice and Men"...
Dot: With Martin Short and Steven Seagal.
Warners: You gotta stay alive and if you wanna survive in Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls: Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko: Normal talk makes producers walk...
Dot: You might as well speak Greek.
Yakko: You're gonna have to learn...
Wakko: Or the meeting will adjourn...
Warners: Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
All: Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah, bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo, bah, dah!
[During the parody of Independence Day in their own movie "Hooray for North Hollywood"]
Dot: I suggest we evacuate immediately.
Yakko: I already evacuated!
Wakko: Me too! [farts] Oops! Twice.
Dot: Then the only thing left to do is...JUMP!
[The Warners jump from their water tower, scream and run, just as the spaceship destroys the water tower in half]
Dot: L.A. Dot, L.A. Dot,
That's the sign that the bus has got
Written up where everyone can see me,
L.A.D.O.T.
Spells L.A. Dot; Who'd've thought
The one so cute could be this hot?
The metro line has built a sign for me.
When I go walking down the street
All the folks I chance to meet
Will wave and smile and throw a fuss
'Cause I'm the girl whose name is on the metro bus!
And no else has that spot.
Meryl Streep and Cher do not,
Madonna, she is totally not.
No, the only name there's L.A. Dot!
'Cause I'm the best still, I'm floored;
Who'd have guessed I'm so adored?
You'd think I'd be conceited but I'm not.
Crowd: No, no!
Dot: I'm just simple, humble, gorgeous L.A. Dot!
I'm overwhelmed. Quite a lot.
Blown away; I kid you not!
Who would have expected
For a sign to be erected
Saying L.A. Dot? But hey, why not?
I am a star from the Warner lot
Who they're thinkin' of 'cause they're all in love with me.
So if, my friends, you chance to spot
A great big bus with "L.A. DOT"
No need to ask or wonder why
You know that it was put there by
My loyal fans who clap their hands
And cheer while banging pots and pans
They'll greet me now with marching bands a lot.
Crowd: Yeah, yeah!
Dot: Yes, they put me on the bus
So that every one of us
Could see that they love L...A...
Yakko: [spoken] Dot, excuse me, but that's not your name. L.A.D.O.T. stands for Los Angeles Department Of Transportation.
Dot: [spoken] Oh. Well. [singing]
You can find me on my web page spot.
It's www.dot.dot!
Yakko and Wakko: Dot dot Dot!
Dot: Should auld acquaintance be forgot and everybody cheer.
We've managed somehow, friends, to make it through another year.
Yakko: Let's stay up late, let's celebrate, and then count down from ten
'Cause tomorrow when we wake up, guys, the whole thing starts again.
It's New Year's Eve and I'm a beaut
Dressed up in my tuxedo suit
Got a shirt and vest that are starched and pressed like new.
I do, and I'm lovin' the view!
Wakko: 'Cause it's New Year's Eve and I'm lookin' swell
With a white carnation in my lapel
Got a coat and tie and I can't deny it's true.
Dot: It's New Year's Eve and I do believe
I'll hit all of the restaurants in sight.
The party's at Sardi's and old Guy Lombardi's
Doing the countdown tonight.
Yakko: Well, it's New Year's Eve; let the party rock,
Let's dance, and then, when it's 12:00.
We'll sing them tunes and we'll pop balloons with a cheer!
Crowd: Ear ear!
Dot: Bring out the confetti; we're ready. Hey, happy new year!
It's New Year's Eve, so let's all get dressed
In a tux or gown; when you look your best,
You're the belle of the ball, you're the one that they all came to see!
Crowd: Happy new year!
Dot: Happy new you, my friend, and happy new me! Mwah!
Wakko: May auld acquaintance be forgot on New Year's Eve, they say.
Dot: Let's give a cheer; a brand-new year will soon be here to stay.
Yakko: Let's drink our fill o' sasparilla.
Wakko: We're too young for champagne.
Warners: And every New Year's Eve. It's time to scream and go insane!
Yakko: It's New Year's Eve and it's almost here.
We'll dance and swing from the chandelier
And we'll all go nuts. When the ribbon cuts, we'll cheer.
Dot': When midnight comes, we'll cut a rug.
We'll toast each other and kiss and hug
As the shouters and screamers throw all of those streamers right here.
Wakko: It's New Year's Eve, but don't you grieve
'Cause another year's headed our way.
It's gonna be great 'cause we're stayin' up late
Then tomorrow we'll sleep in all day.
Dot: It's New Year's Eve; gonna have a blast
Yakko: The new one's here and the old one's past
Wakko: So forget your worry And everyone hurry, you hear?
Warners: It's okay, be a jerk, go berserk; Have a happy new year!
[Last lines]
Warners: We're on our way to go see Mr. Plotz
'Cause he's the one in charge who calls the shots.
He's really good, ge's Hollywood,
And no one can deny,
He truly is a super-whiz
And that, my friends, is why
We're on our way to go see Mr. Plah-ah-ahtz.
Crowd: They're on their way to go see Mr.
[The Warners burst into Plotz's office]
Yakko and Wakko: Warner Brothers.
Dot: And Warner Sister.
Plotz: [startled] G'ah!
Warners: We're on our way to go see Mr. Plah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ahtz.
Wakko: [spoken] Hey, got any licorice?
[Plotz gives Wakko some licorice as the cartoon ends]

The Carpool/Sunshine Squirrels [5.07]

[edit]
[The Warners repeatedly change their seating arrangement]
Ed: Knock it off! We're in a car here. Just pick your seats!
Wakko: Will they let us do that on TV?
Yakko: Goodnight, everybody!
Ed: [annoyed] Forget it! [to Dot] You wanna sit here? Fine, I'll move over. You can sit here, [to Wakko] and you can sit next to the window. Right, everyone happy? Is there anything else you'd like?
Yakko: Yeah, my breakfast. I have a bagel with cream cheese on it.
Ed: So?
Yakko: So... you're sitting on it, Ed.
Ed: Oh, ugh! [takes the bagel with cream cheese out from under him] Oh, these pants were just cleaned!
Yakko: Are you sure?
Ed: Yes!
Yakko: Okay, then. [eats the bagel with cream cheese] Oh, did you want a bite?
Ed: [to Phil] Just drive, Phil, okay?! Just drive!
[First lines]
Slappy: Boo! [walks home] Comedy rule number 26: Surprise your audience! Heh. Now, there’s edutainment for ya. [opens the door] My job is done!

The Christmas Tree/Punchline (Part 1)/Prom Night/Punchline (Part 2) [5.08]

[edit]
Skippy: [still tired] Aunt Slappy, the lights are back on.
Skippy: [now awake] This has turned into a comedy routine, without the comedy. [climbs through the window] For the love of Peter Potamous! It finally happened! Some no-good development had destroyed the forest and put buildings all over it!
Skippy: That's awful!
Slappy: I'll put a stop to this.
[Last lines; Slappy's tree is replaced with the Warner Bros. Water Tower at the Rocky Fellow Center]
Yakko: Hey! Quiet down there!
Wakko: We're trying to sleep!
Dot: AND SHUT OFF THOSE LIGHTS!!!
[All the lights are turned off around New York City as the cartoon ends]

Birds on a Wire/The Scoring Session/The Animaniacs Suite [5.09]

[edit]
[First lines]
Bobby: Whoa. Look at that sunrise, huh?
Pesto: Unbelievable.
Squit: Magnificent.
Bobby: Look at the way the light hits the mountains.
Squit: And the way it reflects off the trees.
Pesto: And smell that breeze coming down from the north. It's incredible!
Squit: You mean the west.
Pesto: What?
Squit: The breeze is coming out of the west.
Pesto: What are you, a bird brain? The breeze is coming from the ocean.
Squit: Yeah, and the ocean is west. The mountains are north!
Pesto: No, they're not. The ocean is north.
Bobby: Who cares? North, south. It's a beautiful sunrise.
Pesto: Are you saying that I don't know my directions? That I'm some sort of wrong way Corrigan? I'm a misguided directionless gooney bird? Is that what you're sayin'?
Squit: No. I'm just sayin' that the breeze is coming from the west! But who cares? I mean, it's no big deal.
Pesto: Okay, dat's it! [gets in a fight with Squit]
Bobby: Whoa! Guys, knock it off! What's the matter with you?! [Pesto pulls him into the fighting cloud]
[The cartoon ends]
[Last scene and last lines of the original series]
Yakko and Wakko: Hi. We're the Warner Brothers.
Dot: And the Warner sister.
Yakko: And we'd like to invite you and all the members of your household...
Dot: To gather round the TV set and celebrate...
Yakko: The first 99 episodes of Animaniacs.
Dot: And here's the good news, folks.
Wakko: It actually doesn't stink!
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