Ed, Edd n Eddy

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Ed, Edd n Eddy (1996–2006) is an animated television series created by Danny Antonucci which aired on Nickelodeon. The series features three boys, Ed, Edd and Eddy, known as 'the Eds', who create crazy money-making schemes in order to buy Jawbreakers, their favorite candy.


Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6


Ed, Edd n Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle[edit]

Eddy: Parents! Who invented 'em?

May: Now it's time for our gifts!
Marie: Payback! Christmas kisses all around!
Lee: We ain't talkin' on the cheeks, either!
Edd: Wait! What are you doing?! I'm an angel! STOP!!!!
Eddy: I'M TOO YOUNG!!!!
Ed: Oink!

Eddy: A dickie?? They still make these?

[Eddy hops a fence and runs into Rolf's backyard. He throws the bag into the shed and follows it. To ensure no followers, he puts a plank in front of the door. It is of no avail, however; Ed uses his head as a battering ram and knocks the door down. Angry at the thievery of Santa's presents, he stalks in]
Edd: [despairing] Eddy, how wrong can you be in this most wonderful time of the year? Reconsider your actions!
Ed: What is it to be young man, naughty or nice?
Eddy: I'm the one who gave willingly from his heart. Back off! This sack's mine!
[Ed throws down his shepherd's rod and grabs the sack. He runs for the door]
Ed: Santa brought presents for all the good little boys and girls, Eddy!
[In front of the door stands Eddy. He has taped the wood in front of it]
Eddy: Santa's sack's mine! Give it!
Ed: [wrestling with him] Santa's, Eddy!
Edd: Gentlemen, please!
Ed: Santa's sack!
Eddy: It's mine!
Edd: Goodwill? Peace on earth?
Ed: It's Santa's!
Eddy: Mine!
Ed: Santa's, Eddy!
[Ed hurls it out the roof, Edd still on its top. Edd falls off, though, and his angel costume catches on the torn roof. He hangs there, looking like an actual angel]
Edd: Oh, dear.
[The kids are by the tree, mourning their loss]
Kevin: Of all the no-good...
Sarah: [comforting a crying Jimmy] It's okay, Jimmy.
[Jimmy crying]
Rolf: Here today, gone tomorrow, yes?
[The sack lands behind the tree]
The Kids: YAY!

Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo[edit]

[Marie attacks Jonny, trying to snatch one of the love notes he has been passing between Edd and May]
Marie: Lemme see that!
Jonny: No, I can't, it's against squirrel policy!
Marie: Gimme it!
Jonny: Nuts to you! [cheerfully gobbles down the note]
Marie: You're such a weirdo!

Jonny: [humming at the lunch counter] Bum ba-dum bum bum... [notices the tray of jelly hearts] Aw look, Plank, jelly hearts for Valentine's Day! [He pokes a heart] Whee!
Jonny: [heading to a table] Holy cow, relax, buddy! Of course I washed my hands.
Jonny: Where'd you think they've been?
[Rolf sits down across from Nazz and Kevin. He plunks down a huge, squid-filled sandwich]
Nazz: Happy Valentine's day, Rolf.
Rolf: Poppycock! [A tentacle wriggles, and he smashes the sandwich with a mallet]
Kevin: Uh, so hey, Nazz, I, uh, like, you know... [He pulls out a sheet of paper] Happy Valentine's Day?
Nazz: Awesome, thanks Kev. [Kevin blushes] I got you a card too.
Kevin: [accepting it] Sweet.
Kevin: Slick. [Rolf begins to grind his teeth]
Nazz: Super cool.
Kevin: Choice-a-riffic.
Rolf: ARE YOU ALL SO LOST TO THESE GRETCHENS OF AFFECTION? [quieter] Ed-boy and the Kanker girl have been smitten! Beware, lest you be next. Take these, the Lemons of Acceptitude. [He holds them out] Squeeze it's nectar into your eyes in order to see what cannot be seen.
[Rolf leaves, and Kevin and Nazz look at each other quizzically]
Kevin: ...Right. [They drop their lemons and begin their lunch]
[Eddy opens the door, and he and Ed enter. On the other side of the cafeteria, Marie opens the door and Lee follows her in. They meet in the center of the cafeteria]
Eddy: Well, well, well. If it ain't the sisters of the friend-stealer.
Marie: Where's our May?!
Eddy: [jumps up] WHERE'S OUR DOUBLE D???!!! [Marie falls down]
Marie: [shaking Eddy] You've got three seconds to tell us where she's at. One...Two...
Eddy: Hey, isn't that an abandoned car axle?
Marie: [turning around] Where? [Eddy throws a sandwich at her]
Lee: Nice shot.
Eddy: Tell your stupid sister to stay away from our friend.
Lee: Tell your stupid friend to stay away from our sister! [She throws two hot dogs at Eddy. They stick into his eyes]
Marie: Oh look Lee, wiener eyes!
[They laugh. Ed holds up his stinky, sock-clad foot]
Ed: Stand back, matrons of makeout! [whispering] Girls hate toenails, Eddy.
[An orange hits the back of Ed's head. The Kankers use a table as a barricade as they fire away]
Jonny: Food fight!
[Ed grabs the table that Rolf, Kevin, and Nazz and sets it in front of him and Eddy before they return fire]
Eddy: Get em, Ed! Whoa! [Ed comes up and prepares to throw, but gets hit by Swiss cheese, the holes reflect on his face]
[The food flies everywhere. Rolf, hunting for cover, runs to a trashcan and dives in]
Ed: Every man for himself!
[The Eds and the Kankers ram their tables together. Lee slams her hand through and grabs Eddy. Marie reaches over and tries to grab Ed, pulling his head up to her, but he throws her to the ground by bowing forward. Eddy pulls Lee's leg to his mouth and bites it, her eye shows from the pain]
Kevin: [enjoying the fight] Hit him again! [The cafeteria doors creak open as the fight moves into hand-to-hand combat]
Edd: [sweetly] Greetings, everyone!
[The fighting stops. Edd and May are clutching each other tenderly]
Edd: Our Valentine's has come true. Has yours?
[Two pairs of hands wrench them apart]
Eddy: Get a grip, Romeo! That's a Kanker you're falling for!
Lee: Forget the bum, May.
May: [straining against Lee] Lamb chop!
Edd: [reaching for her] Turtledove!
[May breaks free of her captor and begins to run for Edd, but Marie leaps on her]
Marie: He's trouble with a capital R, May.
Edd: [dragging Eddy forward] Turtledove!
Ed: No, Double D! [He leaps on his friend, stopping him]
Jimmy: How could this have happened? Chaos reigned instead of love.
Sarah: We must stop this chain of madness! Fire at will from above!
[The cupids load their bows with many arrows and let them fly randomly. Inside his trashcan, Rolf hears the arrows fly. Cautiously, he looks out to see Lee holding hands with Kevin]
Lee: Happy Valentine's, dreamboat.
Kevin: You're so righteous, babe.
[Jonny and Nazz stare at each other dreamily]
Jonny: For you, foxy mama!" [He holds out a bouquet]
Nazz: What a hunk! [She takes the flowers and hugs Jonny. Ed dances with a sandwich]
Ed: May I have this dance?
[Eddy stares at Plank, love in his eyes]
Eddy: Where have you been all my life?
Rolf: Fools! [He throws the trash can off]
[Rolf reaches into his pockets and digs out two lemons. He squeezes them, and the juice shoots into his eyes. Rolf's eyes pop and swell, but he is now able to see the fairies dancing up above]
Rolf: Peekaboo, Rolf sees you! [Vengeance is in his voice as he looks at them]

[The Eds are in a hallway cleaning up the debris of Valentine's Day]
Edd: I cannot believe this. Me! A detention to mar an otherwise impeccable school record! What will Mother and Father think?
Eddy: Quit your blubbering. Me and Ed get at least two a week.
Ed: That's why I exfoliate.
Eddy: Besides, I'd be thinking about my reputation there, Casanova. [Edd blushes]
Ed: Yeah! Double D and May, sitting in a tree!
'Ed and Eddy: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Edd: [mortified] Oh, the tangled web Valentine's Day does weave.
Eddy: Suck it up, Double D. Heck, Ed fell in love with a sandwich! [Ed holds up another onion]
Ed: Love is like an onion, Double D. The more you peel away its layers, the more it stinks.
[Ed takes a big bite of his onion]
Eddy: Man, I hate it when he does that.
Ed: Watch me. [exhaling stinky breath at Eddy] HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EDDY!!!
[The card that May gave him earlier slips out of Edd's hat]
Ed: Eddy?
[Edd examines the card. He smiles dreamily]
Ed: [worried] Oh, Eddy? Speak to me Eddy!
[Edd gently tucks the card back into his hat]
Ed: It's only supposed to work on girls! Eddy! Do something, Double D!
Edd: Perhaps a little first aid, Ed?
Ed: Oh, I got it. Mouth to mouth for Eddy!
[Before Ed begins, Eddy starts to awaken. Ed pinches Eddy's nose and opens Eddy's jaws]
Eddy: [scared] Ed?
Edd: Inhale, Ed.
[Ed inhales deeply and descends upon Eddy]
Edd: And blow.
[Ed exhales the full stink of his oniony breath into Eddy's mouth and lungs]
Eddy: LUMPY GERMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [gags]

Ed, Edd n Eddy's Boo Haw Haw[edit]

[Ed hears a giggling and creeps away. He looks into the lane and sees the Kankers, roasting marshmallows over a portable grill]
Lee: So I tell him, "what size boot's your face wear?"
[Ed's eyes fizzle static as he looks over the fence, and he sees the Kankers as witches stirring a cauldron]
Red-haired Witch (Lee): The potion's ready, let's start the jinx. [The cauldron bubbles and fizzes as they cackle] Monsters of the night, beasts from below, rise and get our errant foes.
Blue-haired Witch (Marie): Make them scream!
Blonde Witch (May): Make them sweat!
Witches: And that's a Halloween they'll never forget!
[The cauldron blasts yellow fire into the sky. It turns into a cloud that moves along the ground. It grabs at Ed and catches him. Ed rips free and runs]
[Ed runs from the fence. The Kankers, no longer part of his hallucination, calmly eat their marshmallows]
Marie: You hear something? [They look at May]
May: What? You guys know toasted marshmallows give me the toots. [Lee and Marie cringe in disgust]

[Sarah, as a princess, rounds a corner. She trips over something]
Sarah: Of all the stupid...[looking at what she tripped over] Jeepers creepers, Jimmy!
[Jimmy is embedded in the sidewalk, a casualty of Ed's hallucinations]
Jimmy: Eeh...aah...Ed attacked me, Sarah. He was so hairy and burly. [Sarah frowns angrily after hearing this]

Sarah: Ed! You give Jimmy his candy back!
Rolf: You have made a mockery of Rolf's fungal festivity!
Jonny: [holding Plank in the air] Plank's pressing charges, you bully!
Kevin: Who's coughing up to fix my bike?
[Ed sees them as the gathered armies of the witches' curse]
Ed: Your mother wears army boots!
Eddy: What now? [Ed picks them up with his spatula]
[Ed knocks the streetlight over and carries his friends to part of a fence placed over a hole]
Ed: Uninjured, unscathed, and uncola!
Edd: [worried] Ed, if I may make a suggestion, I think everyone would...um... [Ed pulls the boards away]
Ed: Abracadabra!
[Edd and Eddy fall into the hole. Ed jumps into it, placing the boards back over it to cover them]
Ed: [holding a lantern] We will wait here, safe till morn. The monsters have been defeated, and the witches' jinx dashed. [He hangs up the spatula on a protruding root, and places his beard and hat on a coatrack] Lothar is pooped. [A rock hits him in the face, courtesy of Eddy]
Eddy: You idiot! How are we suppose to trick-or-treat from down here?!
Edd: But look on the bright side, Eddy. No cavities this Halloween!

Eddy: [desperate] Get the flipper, Lothar! Get the flipper!
[The kids grab him and begin to pound Edd and Eddy. Ed lowers his paper, and his eyes fizz with static again. What he sees is not horrible monsters; instead, he sees Edd and Eddy playing in a rain of flowers]
Ed: Aww. Ain't Halloween so sweet? [He resumes reading the paper, and the beatdown continues]

The Eds are Coming, the Eds are Coming[edit]

Eddy: [in Jimmy's dream] Darn it, I love his cowlick!

Ed: Issue 14, Zombie Aliens from Planet Rhubark, states, 'more than often it is required to bait said aliens with a human female to lure potential flesh-consuming extraterrestrials from their lair'.
Nazz: That's so dumb!
[Everyone looks at her, most of them leering. Night falls, and we see that the kids have tied up Nazz. One arm is tied to the mailbox, the other to the lamppost. She is now in a pink dress, with a giant bow in her hair. A tag is affixed to the bow reading 'FREE!']
Edd: Dearest Nazz, find it in your heart to forgive me. Perhaps it's best to think of it as a selfless act to save...
[Nazz slaps Edd upside his face. He tumbles backwards into a bush]

[Everyone has forgotten about Nazz, who is still tied up]
Nazz: Hello? A little help here? Guys!



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