King of the Hill (season 9)
King of the Hill (1997-present) is an American adult animated sitcom that aired on Fox. The show centers around the Hill family, whose head is the ever-responsible, hard-working, loyal, disciplined, and honest Hank Hill.
Quotes
[edit]A Rover Runs Through It [9.1]
[edit]- Hank Hill: Dang it, I am sick and tired of everyone's asinine ideas about me. I'm not a redneck, and I'm not some Hollywood jerk. I'm something else entirely. I'm... I'm complicated!
- Little girl: (as she notices the cattle coming) Look, Mommy! Moo cow!
Death Buys a Timeshare [9.2]
[edit]- Bill Dauterive: Peppermint schnopps make me sloppy.
Death Buys a Timeshare [9.3]
[edit][While staying in a time-share condominium in Mexico, Cotton comments on the quality of the bottled water in the room.]
- Cotton Hill: They got the water what don't give you the hot poops!
- Bill Dauterive: (Bill's card has been denied) I've got other cards, do you take Blockbuster?
Yard She Blows [9.4]
[edit]- Hank Hill: Why would anyone do drugs when they can just mow a lawn?
Dale to the Chief [9.5]
[edit][Bobby is mocking Hank when Hank is mistaken as female on his driver's license.]
- Bobby Hill: Now where did I put my pantyhose?
- Dale Gribble: I'm all jacked up on America right now! Anyone want to hear me recite the constitution?
- Hank: I'm not messing around! I have proven I can kick your ass while standing on a ladder!
- Hank: [catching Dale trying to run from him after sending out the FBI] No more, Dale! I've put up with some giblet-headed things out of you in the past, but calling the FBI on me--that's final!
The Petriot Act [9.6]
[edit]- Dale: Oh, this has been a cat-astrophe!
Enrique-cilable Differences [9.7]
[edit]- Hank: This is the critical juncture. We can't give in. No matter how bad it gets, and it will get bad, we must stand firm. Then everything can go back to normal.
Mutual Of Omabwah [9.8]
[edit]- Bill: If everybody fried their food, there would be no war.
- Dale: Okay, Joseph, take that stick and poke me in my once-again robust arm. [Joseph begins poking him in his bee stings] See? I don't feel a thing. [beat] Wait a minute. I DON'T FEEL A THING!
Care-Takin' Care of Business [9.9]
[edit]- Lucky: Sometimes, the world is cruel to shiny things.
Arlen City Bomber [9.10]
[edit]- Hank: Score? Someone scored?
- Lucky: Heck yeah. Aunt Peggy did.
- Hank: Aunt Peggy?
- Lucky: Yeah, she knocked out their blocker so Luanne could scoot past their jammer.
- Bill: I'm so confused...
- Lucky: See, your blockers stop the other teams' jammers. The pivot can block, jam, or counter-jam. Only the pivot or jammer can score.
- Hank: But how do they score?
- Lucky: No one really knows.
Redcorn Gambles with His Future [9.11]
[edit]- Hank: What the hell is pony season?
Smokey and the Bandit [9.12]
[edit]- Dale: See you in the history books, people!
Gone with the Windstorm [9.13]
[edit]- Bobby: We're square dancing in P.E. today! I'm do-si-do-ing with you, Cherise!
Bobby on the Track [9.14]
[edit]- Bobby: [v.o.] Can you pick me up? I'm at the Mocha Bean!
- Hank: The Mocha Bean? Right by the starting line?
- Hank: You were gone all afternoon and you only walked half a mile?
- Bobby: Maybe when it gets to two miles, it flips over.
- Hank: He's sleeping? Damn it! That does it!
It Ain't Over Till The Fat Neighbor Sings [9.15]
[edit]- Hank: Dang it, Bill, why won't you reason to reason? All right, Dale. Help him.
- Dale: Wait. Is this a trick?
- Hank: Nope. Let 'er rip. Just keep it clean.
- Dale: Bill!! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing?! That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you!! You're part of a twelve-headed jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind! UNDERWEAR... MONEY... FAT...! [hunches over exhausted]
