King of the Hill (season 8)
King of the Hill (1997-2010) was an American animated sitcom that aired on Fox. The show centers around the Hill family, whose head is the ever-responsible, hard-working, loyal, disciplined, and honest Hank Hill.
Patch Boomhauer [8.1]
- Hank: [To Boomhauer] I never thought I'd have to drag you into the garage, like I do with Bill and Dale!
- Bill: Does this suit smell like embalming fluid to you?
- Hank: [Goes to talk to Boomhauer] Now, Boomhauer, as a man, I'm obligated of salvaging our friendship of over 30 years, by asking you some tough questions. [Boomhauer, after a moment, nods] Do you love Kathryn Hester?
- Boomhauer: Yo, man.
- Hank: And does the thought of Patch marrying her tear you up inside?
- Boomhauer: ...Yo, man.
- Hank: And did you hire those women of..."easy virtue" to frame Patch and to break up the wedding?
- Boomhauer: [stares down Hank for a long moment] NO, man.
- Hank: ...Oh, Boomhauer, I am so sorry for doubting you. But, wait a minute, if you didn't hire them, then..[Gasps] Craig T?! Oh, God, Patch knew all along!
- Boomhauer: Damn straight, man. Now, talkin' 'bout, you know, do-don't get hurt fallin' off that dang ol' high horse, man!
- Hank: Boomhauer, I deserve all that and more, but right now, I need to get to the rehearsal dinner and set things right. I'll give Patch the "happy ending" he deserves, I tell you what!
(Hank gives a toast at Patch's rehearsal dinner)
- Hank Hill: Hank Hill, best man, Strickland Propane.
(Patch tries to shift the blame after being found out by his fiancée)
- Patch Boomhauer: No, man! Don't-don't talk about, me! Talkin'...Hank! Dang ol' Hank loves hookers, man!
Reborn to be Wild [8.2]
- Hank Hill: Can't you see you're not making Christianity better, you're just making rock and roll worse?
The Incredible Hank [8.4]
- Dale Gribble: So it turns out I'm not the actual Dale Gribble, but a clone of him. The original Dale Gribble is a super-warrior from the year 2087. The second me, i.e. I, was created to help the first me fight the invading Mongol armies.
- Hank Hill: Dale, that's asinine, and here's four reasons why. First, you're not gonna clone a super-warrior out of a guy who can't even win a thumb-wrestling match. Two, you've spent your life swearing that the robots will eliminate the clones by the year 2010, so which is it, robots or clones? Three, you've already said you sympathize with the invading Mongolians of 2087, so you'd be the last one they'd send to fight them. And four, if you were from the future, you would have seen this coming.
Hank punches Dale in the arm.
- Peggy: Hank, there's something I have to tell you.
- Hank: You did what?!
(Kahn is watching the Hills through binoculars).
- Kahn: Minh! Come quick! Hank and Peggy having old-school red-neck domestic squabble on front lawn!
(Mihn runs in with binoculars).
- Hank: How could you, Peggy?
- Minh: Oh, I bet she burn the meat loaf!
- Hank: It caused what?
- Minh: Why he point at his crotch like that?
- Hank: 20% shrinkage?! You want me to put a patch on my what?!
- Kahn: OK, this going in a weird direction now.
That's What She Said [8.10]
- Richard's vulgarity has gone too far; he has alienated the entire staff. Buck Strickland terminates Richard's employment at Strickland Propane
- One day later
- Sign: HELP WANTED
- Hank: Okay team, gather 'round. I'm going to tell you about the new improvements on the Vogner 2800 series. The first thing is that it will smoke your meat. And it's got a nice big rack for your buns.
- Enrique: Or wieners.
- Hank: Or wieners. Why not?
- Joe Jack: Feels good to say "wieners" again.
- Donna: And sausage.
Phish and Wild Life [8.12]
(The park ranger wishes all of the hippies well as they finally leave the park in a big convoy).
- Park Ranger!: Good Riddance! Go to Hell! HEY, HUG THIS!
- Bobby Hill: I ate hippie gumbo!
Après Hank, le Deluge [8.15]
During the middle of a flood, the town seeks shelter in the school gym.
- Kahn Souphanousinphone: Chaos already ruling. This like when city of Luang Prabang fall, and we snag sweet diplomatic license plates!
Stressed for Success [8.19]
- Bill: Gee, Hank. How's it feel to be the father of a genius?
- Hank: Bobby's a good kid, but he's no genius. We have the report card to prove it. And since when is pop culture a considered "academic"?
- Dale: It's a very big deal, Hank. Nowadays, you can't be an accredited college without offering a major in commercial jingles, or the films of M. Night Shaylamalamon.
Bobby is studying all the multiple shows on the many Mega-Lo Mart TVs when he goes into a stress trip.
- Kelly Clarkson: I'm Kelly Clarkson. I won American Idol and my debut album went to #1. One song on the album, I wrote with Christina Aguilera. She was on the Mickey Mouse Club with Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. (voice speeding up) Justin is a member of N*Sync. They sing on the soundtrack for the Grinch starring Jim Carrey. (voice going even faster) Jim Carrey was in a movie with Rene Zelwigger, who's worked with Catherine Zeta-Jones, who's acted with John Cusack, who has a house in Malibu near Pamela Anderson, who dated Scott Baio, who was on Happy Days with Ron Howard, who directed Apollo 13 starring Tom Hanks, who's married to Rita Wilson, who was in... (voice is now inaudibly out of control)
Bobby, sick from the overload of all this, starts passing out.