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Peanuts is a comic strip drawn by Charles M. Schulz from 1950 until 2000. It was also developed into several TV animated specials and five animated theatrical features. The strip's most recognizable icons are born-loser Charlie Brown and his anthropomorphic dog Snoopy, who always sleeps on top of his dog house instead of inside it.

See also: Charles M. Schulz

Common phrases

  • Good grief!
  • I can't stand it! (Sometimes accompanied by "I just can't stand it!")
  • You blockhead(s)!
  • (usually Charlie Brown): That's the way it goes...
  • AAUGH!!
  • Rats!
  • *SIGH*
  • (usually Snoopy or some inanimate object): My mother didn't raise me to be...
  • No matter how hard you try, you can't... (do something silly and impossible)
  • Why can't I have a normal (dog, baseball team, groundskeeper, etc...) like everyone else?
  • My stomach hurts...
  • (to Lucy in the football gag) You'll pull it away and I'll land on my back and kill myself.
  • I got a rock. (multiple times in "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown")
  • It depresses a manager to see his team cry... (14 Jun 58)
  • (sees Lucy wearing one of his shirts:) Well hello there, Charlie Brown, you blockhead!! (Violet and Patty crack up as Lucy sighs and Charlie Brown walks away) (22 Feb 59)
  • (after proving there are no spiders in the baseball gloves:) In all the history of baseball, there has never been a manager who has had to go through what I have to go through! (6 Apr 61)
  • Other kids' baseball heroes hit home runs. Mine gets sent down to the minors! (7 May 63)
  • Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love! (15 Dec 64)
  • (On the little red-haired girl:) I hate myself for not having enough nerve to talk to her! Well, that's not exactly true... I hate myself for a lot of other reasons too. (17 Dec 64)
  • (in the class spelling bee, asked to spell the word "maze":) M...A...Y...S... AAUGH! (9 Feb 66)
  • (waking up after getting hit with a line drive:) I'm dying, and all I hear is insults! (3 Aug 66 and A Boy Named Charlie Brown)
  • Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "What can I do to keep my life from going by so fast?" Then a voice comes to me that says, "Try slowing down at the corners.". ( 30 July 96 )
  • I've developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time. (8 Aug 66)
  • (on being made a school crossing guard:) When I got called to the office, I was a, I'm a man with a badge! (14 Nov 66)
  • I don't have a ball team, I have a theological seminary! (17 Sep 67)
  • After Linus asks if people should only worry about today instead of tomorrow No, that's giving up... I'm still hoping that yesterday will get better. (24 Mar 79)
  • Now I know why we play baseball in the summer... When your shoes and socks get knocked off by a line drive, your feet don't get cold! (03 April 79)
  • Wouldn't it be something if that Little Red-Haired Girl came over here and gave me a kiss? I'd say, "Thank you! What was that for?", and wouldn't it be something if she said, "Because I've always loved you!" Then I'd give her a big hug, and she'd kiss me again! Wouldn't that be something? (Starts eating) Wouldn't it be something if it turned out that french fries were good for you? (26 Feb 81)
  • There's something lonely about a ball field when it's raining... What makes it lonely is being the only one dumb enough to be standing out here... (23 May 81)
  • (After Peppermint Patty asks him if he likes Marcie and her) I'm sorry... I'm not here anymore.. I've suddenly become a recording! (01 Jan 85)
  • How can I say the right thing and the wrong thing at the same time?
  • Yes, ma'am.. I'm late... I didn't plan to be late... The bus driver said I wasn't on her computer list so I had to walk... I also forgot my lunch and my homework, and I'm probably sitting in the wrong desk...How did I know that? (10 Sep 85)
  • (Gives Snoopy the letter about Spike:) Here...a letter from your brother Spike. (29 Mar 85)
  • Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Why me?" Then a voice answers, "Nothing personal... your name just happened to come up." (13 Nov 93)
  • (in one of his last main strips:) This is my Joe Torre look. I'm going to use it next season. I'll manage the team from the bench like Joe Torre, and I'll stare at everybody like this, and we'll win every game. (27 Dec 99)
  • (on the little red-haired girl:) I don't ever want to forget her face, but if I don't, I'll go crazy. How can I remember the face I can't forget? Suddenly I'm writing country-western music! (4 Oct 69)
  • That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another... (2 Sept 81)
  • There's the house where the Little Red-Haired Girl lives.. Maybe if I stand here long enough, she'll come out.. She doesn't know that I could stand here for hours.. I have to because my mittens are frozen to the tree!(23 Feb 88)
  • Emily! It's so nice to be dancing with you again! Just to see you, and hold you, and.. Ma'am? Who am I dancing with? Who am I talking to? Who... (Realizes Emily isn't there) Oh, good grief! (17 Feb 97)
  • When you lose the first game of the season, it's a long walk home. If anything gets in your way, you just want to kick it! (fails to kick the rock in front him, trips, and falls on his back.) Then you discover you can't even kick good.(25 Mar 97)
  • I never know what anyone is talking about.(11 May 97)
  • We all need help with our homework. We're all pleading for someone to listen. We're all desperate. (12 May 97)
  • Somewhere in this great city there must be a mailbox with a love letter for me. But this isn't it.. Stupid mailbox! (16 May 97)
  • My anxieties have anxieties. (9 Nov 68)
  • (mixing up his proverbs:) "He to whom the early bird runs best learns wisdom and knowledge!"
  • For one brief moment today I thought I was winning in the game of life. But there was a flag on the play!
  • I'm not a poor loser, I'm a good loser. I'm so good at it I lose all the time! (2 Aug 98)
  • Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask myself, "Why isn't the world perfect?" Then a voice comes to me that says, "We admit it.. There are still a few kinks that need working out."(29 Aug 98)
  • It's all very strange.. You can be walking along not thinking of anything in particular. (falls head over heels) Suddenly, you're reminded of a lost love... (11 Feb 85)
  • Sometimes you lie in bed at night, and you don't have a single thing to worry about...That always worries me! (6 Jul 85)
  • (After umpire calls out strike three when he was thinking about Peggy Jean) Whatever happened to strike one and two? (13 Sept 90)
  • Life is like an ice cream have to learn to lick it. (11 Aug 68)
  • (to Snoopy:) Why aren't you a pony?!! (26 Aug 65)
  • Yes ma'am, I understand, that's life: Front row in the classroom, last row, back deck in the ballpark. (07 Sep 95)
  • A new season! This is where I belong! This is my life! I stand here like a captain of a ship! Nothing can sink this vessel except... (Lucy suddenly walks in, announcing she is ready) ..An iceberg! (17 March 97)
  • This is called the loser's walk. It's the way you're supposed to walk when you've lost again. (23 July 95)
  • (making up a proverb)[to Patty] Life is like an all day Sucker...Here today, and Gone Tomorrow! (03 Jan 51)
  • (after Peppermint Patty asks him if he'd like to play football with her) I think we've moved away, and I don't know what our new address is...(21 Sept 98)
  • (after Linus reads Charlie Brown's Christmas card to the Little Red-Haired Girl that says, "Merry Christmas from your Sweet Babboo) (holding hand to his face) It's a family expression..(20 Dec 98)
  • I should take this bottle cap over to that Little Red-Haired Girl.. If she has a bottle cap collection, she'll throw her arms around me and say, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"!(29 Nov 99)
  • (Remarking on Snoopy's sitting in the rain waiting for a rich lady in a limousine to come by and take him home) Rich ladies in limousines don't drive through our back yard..(30 Dec 99)
  • Yes, ma'am.. I have my report.. ' How I Wasted Another Sunday Afternoon Watching My Dog Sleep.. '(30 May 99)
  • The thought of another school day makes my stomach hurt! [clutching stomach] When I get all those answers wrong, I get sharp pains right here.. Then when I see the other kids enjoying themselves at lunch time while I eat alone, my stomach starts to hurt again. My brain doesn't mind school at all... it's my stomach that hates it! (30 Jan 62)
  • Remember the Alamo!!
  • (to Linus): My Sweet Babboo!
  • (on Linus:) Isn't he the cutest thing?
  • (to Charlie Brown) Kiss her you blockhead!
  • I would like to say I enjoyed this first day at school. I realize the teachers have put in a lot of effort, and a host of administrators have worked hard to develop our current scholastic program. The PTA has also done its share as have the school custodians. Therefore, I would like very much to say I enjoyed this first day at school. But I didn't! (9 Sep 63)
  • (in school, asked a question by her teacher:) Who was the father of Henry IV?!? I COULD NOT POSSIBLY CARE LESS! ... I'm sorry... I apologize... That was just a gut reaction. (5 May 72)
  • Today for "Show and Tell" I have brought my brother's dog. (watches as Snoopy begins to dance in front of the class) Which may turn out to be the biggest mistake of my life! (13 Sep 73)
  • A centimeter? If any centimeters come crawling into this room, I'll step on 'em! (17 Oct 74)
  • School starts again in two weeks. My furlough is almost over. ... How long do you have to be in before you get shore leave? (25 Aug 81)
  • (bursting into Charlie Brown's room:) Wake up, Santa Claus came last night and he didn't leave you anything! (Pause) April fool! (25 Dec 91)
  • (to one of her teachers, who immediately bursts into tears) My name is Sally Brown and I hate school. (4 Sep 69)
  • (why she wants to be a nurse:) I like white shoes. (15 Jun 68)
  • Happiness is having your own library card. (26 Apr 64)
  • (going door to door with Charlie Brown, helping him sell his homemade Christmas wreaths:) Ask your mother if she'd like to buy a wreath. Tell her they were made from the famous forests of Lebanon. You can read about them in the second chapter of the second book of Chronicles. ... If you buy two, we'll throw in an autographed photo of King Solomon! (15 Dec 82)
  • (at another door:) Good morning, would you like to buy a Christmas wreath made from some junky old branches my brother found in a Christmas tree lot?!? You wouldn't, would you? And I can't say I blame you! (to Charlie Brown) See, your way doesn't work either! (16 Dec 82)
  • How can I go to school if I don't know any of the answers? (8 Sep 74)
  • I'm writing to Joe Garagiagiariolia.
  • That was weird, big brother. I could hear your face fall clear out in the other room! (23 Mar 81)
  • (on Linus:) He's my Sweet Babboo and I'm his Babbooette. (11 Feb 91)
  • Some philosophies take a thousand years. I think of them in two minutes.(15 April 97)
  • I'm taking the advice of Theodore Roosevelt...speak softly and carry a beagle! (7 August 74)
  • I'm addressing Christmas cards. Aren't they cute? Each one has a little bunny on it dressed up like a shepherd. Don't say I'm not religious! (3 Dec 76)
  • (reciting 'Twas the Night Before Christmas:) The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hope that Jack Nicklaus soon would be there. (11 Dec 68)
  • (reciting her "Hark!" line in the Christmas play:) Hockey stick! (22 Dec 83)
  • I ruined the whole Christmas play! Everybody hates me! Moses hates me, Luke hates me... the Apostles hate me... ALL FIFTY OF 'EM! (23 Dec 83)
  • This butter is practically frozen.. Nobody told me life was going to be this hard! I hate getting up in the morning.. School drives me crazy... ..And now I have to butter my toast with chunky butter! (09 Mar 93)

Sally's school reports

  • Light travels at a speed of 186,000 miles per second. ... So why are the afternoons so long? (1 Jun 76)
  • One "rod" equals nine feet. One "span" equals nine inches. One "pace" equals three feet. One "handbreadth" equals three inches. And one "school day" equals a hundred years! Sorry, ma'am, I couldn't help slipping that in there. (9 May 84)
  • Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. ... Abraham Lincoln was our sixteenth king and he was the father of Lot's wife. (12 Feb 70)
  • English Theme: "Vandalism as a Problem Today." Who is the leader of these vandals? I will tell you. They are encouraged by Evandalists! (7 May 73)
  • Britain was invaded in the year 43 by Roman Numerals. (6 Oct 84)
  • Life in the village was peaceful until the volcano interrupted. (15 May 98)
  • When writing about Church History, we have to go back to the very beginning. Our Pastor was born in 1930. (4 Sep 75)
  • This is my report on Rain. Rain is water which does not come out of faucets. Without rain, we would not get wet walking to school and catch a cold and have to stay home, which is not a bad idea. Rain was the inspiration for that immortal poem, "Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day." After a storm, the rain goes down the drain which is where I sometimes feel my education is also going. (7 Nov 73)
  • English Theme: "If I Had A Pony." If I had a pony, I'd saddle up and ride so far from this school it would make your head swim! (29 Sep 70)
  • Some people are right-handed. Some people are left-handed. There are other people who are able to use both hands with equal ease. Such people are called handbidextrous. (17 Oct 76)
  • There are seven continents: Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, North America, South America, and Aunt Arctica. (5 May 81)
  • The largest dinosaur that ever lived was the Bronchitis. It soon became extinct. It coughed a lot. (11 Dec 72)
  • Theme: Our School. Going to our school is an education in itself, which is not to be confused with actually getting an education. (crumples paper and tosses it, saying "I don't need that kind of trouble!") (10 Sep 73)
  • It was a dark and stormy night... (appeared for the first time on 12 Jul 65)
The opening line of the novel Snoopy is forever starting. A well-known quotation from Edward Bulwer-Lytton.
  • Here's (Joe Cool/The World War I Flying Ace/The world-famous (insert occupation here)/etc.)
  • My mind reels with sarcastic replies.
  • (whenever Lucy angers him) Next time, I'll bite her on the leg!
  • (to The Cat Next Door) Hey, stupid cat!
  • Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. *sigh!* There's so little hope for advancement. (15 Feb 58)
  • Snoopy asked the "Stupid Cat Next Door" to help remove a splinter from his paw: Well that's one way of doing it - he removed me from the splinter! (19 Sep 81)
  • on why he doesn't chase rabbits: Some of us are born dogs, and some of us are born rabbits. When the chips are down, I'll have to admit that my sympathy lies with the rabbits. (18 Apr 61)
  • To me, the ugliest sight in the world is an empty dog dish! (27 Feb 62)
  • as "World-Famous Astronaut": I did it! I'm the first beagle on the moon! I beat the Russians...I beat everybody...I even beat that stupid cat who lives next door! (14 Mar 69)
  • arm-wrestling Lucy: Succumb, you dark-haired fiend! (14 Feb 67)
  • on Molly Volley: I've had distemper, and I've played mixed doubles...I'd rather have distemper. (28 May 77)
  • Here's Joe Cool hanging around the student union eyeing chicks. Lucy storms past. Actually, we Joe Cools are scared to death of chicks... (28 May 71)
  • I remember last year about this time... it was two o'clock in the morning, and I was sound asleep... Suddenly, out of nowhere, this crazy guy with a sled appears right on my roof. He was okay, but those stupid reindeer kept stepping on my stomach! (23 Dec 66)

As the World War I Flying Ace

  • Curse you, Red Baron!
  • Curses, foiled again!
  • after a trip to the vet: They tortured me, but all I gave them was my name, rank and serial number! (19 Aug 66)

As the "World Famous Novelist"

  • "A Love Story" by Erich Beagle: "I love you," she said, and together they laughed. Then one day she said, "I hate you," and they cried. But not together. "What happened to the love that we said would never die?" she asked. "It died," he said. The first time he saw her she was playing tennis. The last time he saw her she was playing tennis. "Ours was a Love set," he said, "but we double faulted." "You always talked a better game than you played," she said. (27 May 73)
  • Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. I've solved our problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron. (6 Aug 73)
  • Why Dogs Are Superior to Cats: They just are, and that's all there is to it! (5 Jan 74)
  • Her love affair had ended. She didn't want to live. She threw herself in front of a Zamboni. (27 Jun 91)
  • (After Lucy tells him to write about something positive for a change:) It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a kiss rang out! (19 Nov 81)
  • (After Lucy tells him to write a political novel:) It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a vote rang out! (14 Nov 83)
  • (After Lucy tells him to write a Thanksgiving novel:) It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a turkey rang out! (22 Nov 83)
  • (After Lucy suggests he begin his story with "Once upon a time":) Once upon a time...It was a dark and stormy night. (7 Aug 83)
  • (After Lucy suggests he write a book like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie:) "If You Give a Beagle a Brownie." (15 Jan 94)
  • Once there were two mice who lived in a museum. One evening after the museum had closed, the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor. Before he knew it, he was lost. "Help!" he shouted to his friend. "Help me make it through the knight!" (6 Dec 74)
  • The Gift: It was the holiday season. She and her husband had decided to attend a performance of King Lear. It was their first night out together in months. During the second act one of the performers became ill. The manager of the theater walked onto the stage, and asked, "Is there a doctor in the house?" Her husband stood up, and shouted, "I have an honorary degree from Anderson College!" It was at that moment when she decided not to get him anything for Christmas. (22 Dec 74)
  • Travel Tips, "Arriving Home": When putting away your luggage after arriving home, always close the zippers so bugs can't crawl in. (20 Sep 82)
  • It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, out of the mist a spooky figure appeared. How spooky was he? Spoooooooky! (8 Jul 91)
  • Her real name was Dorothy Fledermaus. But all her friends called her "Dee." Thus, she was frequently referred to as "Dee Fledermaus." (shakes his head, crumples his paper into a ball and thinks, "uh uh!") (12 Jul 73)
  • "You love hockey more than you love me!" she complained. "You love those hockey gloves and shinguards and skates and elbow pads more than you love me!" "That's not true!" he said. "I love you much more than I love my elbow pads." (23 Nov 82)
  • (After Lucy tells him to write an adventure story featuring a dashing hero:) He was a dark and stormy knight. (2 May 83)
  • Beauty Tips - How to Look Younger: Don't be born so soon. (4 May 82)
  • (Writes a new book on theology:) I have the perfect title... "Has It Ever Occurred to You That You Might Be Wrong?" (9 Aug 76)
  • Thus endeth....
  • (to Sally): I'm not your Sweet Babboo! (9 Oct 78 and various other strips from there onwards)
  • (usually on the Great Pumpkin) Just wait 'till next year!
  • (on suckers:) Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker. (15 Nov 57)
  • (on Miss Othmar, his teacher:) I've never said I worship her. I just said I'm very fond of the ground on which she walks! (8 Oct 59)
  • (on why he can't watch Lucy making a jack-o-lantern, starts to cry:) You didn't tell me you were going to kill it! (31 Oct 59)
  • (disappointed that the Great Pumpkin didn't show up:) I was a victim of false doctrine. (3 Nov 59)
  • I love mankind - it's people I can't stand! (12 Nov 59)
  • Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life! (17 Jun 61)
  • (to his blanket:) People are beginning to say nasty things about me. I'm sorry, blanket... I'm going to have to leave you here by the side of the road! (walks away, but quickly turns back after going only a few feet, and embraces his blanket again) It was whimpering! (20 Jul 61)
  • There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin! (25 Oct 61)
  • (Lucy threatens to hit him for refusing to memorize his lines for the Christmas program:) Christmas is not only getting too commercial, it's getting too dangerous! (17 Dec 61)
  • (on his blanket-hating grandmother:) She no sooner got in the house when she took my blanket away! She gave me a dollar to make up for it, but I'm gonna look awfully silly sucking my thumb and holding a dollar. ... And I don't feel very secure, either! (14 Jan 63)
  • I guess I talk too much. My mom is mad at me... my grandma is mad at me... everyone is mad at me. Yesterday my grandma drank thirty-two cups of coffee. I shouldn't have said anything. I suggested that perhaps her drinking thirty-two cups of coffee was not unlike my need for a security blanket... She didn't like the comparison. (17 Jan 63)
  • (Linus found his missing blanket:) There was a little mix-up in the kitchen. Lucy was using my blanket to dry the dishes. We now have very secure dishes! (20 Feb 64)
  • (on the New Math:) How can you solve "new math" problems with an "old math" mind? (22 Apr 64)
  • (in a snow fort:) I am king of all I survey! This is an impregnable fortress! No one can take it! I could defend this position from a hundred attackers! I have ammunition enough to fight the whole day! This fortress stands firm and unyielding! It is like the rock of Gibralter! [sic - please note this is how the word is spelled in the actual strip] It is like... (Lucy hits him from behind with a snowball) You'll notice that you had to use strategy though, didn't you?!? (2 Jan 66)
  • (on his grandmother, who quit smoking to get Linus to give up his blanket:) That gray-haired, foxy old rascal! (1 Sep 67)
  • (embracing his blanket after rescuing it from the trash burner as quoted above:) Are you all right, ol' buddy? (13 Sep 67)
  • (Linus gave Snoopy his security blanket to keep for him in an attempt to break the habit, but when Linus decided he wanted the blanket back, he saw that Snoopy had the blanket made into sport coats for himself and Woodstock:) It's all your fault, Charlie Brown, because you own such a stupid beagle! Do you know what I just read in a medical journal? It said that a person who is deprived of his blanket by a stupid beagle who has it made into a sport coat cannot survive for more than forty-eight hours! (12 Nov 71)
  • (on World War II; the Stupid Cat Next Door:) That's no kitten - that's a thousand-pound gully cat! (18 Apr 72)
  • You can't bluff an old theologian! (6 Dec 72)
  • (after Linus explains to Eudora about the Great Pumpkin, and Lucy then tells Eudora, "See?":) How sharper than a serpent's tooth is a sister's "see?"! (26 Oct 80)
  • Good ol' Charlie Brown... he's the Charlie Browniest!
  • (at the end of every session at her psychiatric booth:) Five cents, please.
  • (to Charlie Brown) I'll hold the ball and you come running up and kick it.
  • (being chased by the other kids after purposely spoiling their games:) I'm frustrated and inhibited, and no one understands me. (24 Jan 54)
  • (after hugging Snoopy) Happiness is a warm puppy... (25 Apr 60)
  • (to Charlie Brown:) Don't let your team down by showing up! (16 Apr 63)
  • (threatening Linus:) These five fingers: individually they're nothing, but when I curl them together like this into a single unit (making a fist), they form a weapon that is terrible to behold! (5 Jan 64)
  • (panicking after Snoopy kisses her on the lips): AAUGH! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A DOG!! I'VE BEEN POISONED! GET SOME IODINE! GET SOME HOT WATER! GERMS! GERMS! GERMS! (12 Dec 65 and several animations)
  • Can I help it if I was born with crabby genes?!? (1 Feb 66)
  • (on autumn:) See these leaves, Linus? They're flying south for the winter! (14 Oct 66)
  • (to Linus:) Do you realize that people are coming up to me, and saying "your brother pats birds on the head"? Well, I want you to stop it! Do you hear me?!? Stop it!!! (Bird trips her) (30 May 67)
  • (to Charlie Brown, at her psychiatric booth, explaining why people take advantage of him by talking too much:) It's your own fault! You're just too wishy-washy! People who talk too much deserve to be insulted! They deserve to have other people walk away from them! Talking too much is an unforgivable social sin - absolutely unforgivable! The only way to deal with people who talk too much is to let them know just how boring they really are. You can't waste your time with them, no, sir! Why should you sit and waste your valuable time while some bore talks on and on about nothing? Life is too short to waste it listening to some person who doesn't know when to shut up! Time is too valuable! Time is... (Charlie Brown sighs) (21 Jan 68)
  • (in her psychiatric booth, consoling Charlie Brown after he accidentally re-hooked Linus on security blankets after the latter had kicked his habit on his own): In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by people who "thought they were doing the right thing." Five cents, please. (18 Nov 71)
  • (learning of Rerun's birth, after having thrown Linus out of the house:) A new baby brother?!!? But I just got rid of the old one!!! (23 May 72)
  • What's wrong with a world where someone like Charlie Brown can get sick, and then not get any better? I NEED SOMEONE TO HIT!! (26 Jul 79)
  • (in right field:) This guy can't hit it! He swings like my grandmother! (a handbag is thrown at Lucy from behind and hits her in the head) Sorry, Grandma... it was just an expression... (17 Jul 82)
  • By the time I've grown up, we'll probably have a woman president. You know what that means, don't you? It means I won't get to be the first one. BOY, THAT MAKES ME MAD!! (29 Mar 84)
  • I keep wondering if Mom's planning to have more children. Lately she's been referring to me as "Volume One." (17 Feb 96)
  • (After Charlie Brown's kite explodes:) That's the first time I've ever seen a kite explode. (13 March 60)

Lucy the athlete

  • No problem, manager... I missed it, but the ground caught it! Nice catch, ground! You're doing a good job! (18 Jul 77)
  • Watching your graceful movements on the pitcher's mound lulled me to sleep! (10 May 78)
  • (her excuse for missing another fly ball:) I was having my quiet time! (23 Jul 61)
  • I think there were toxic substances coming from my glove, and they made me dizzy. (24 May 81)
  • When the sun reflects off the bright yellow dandelions, I can't see the ball. (2 Jun 99)
  • (she waited for a grounder to stop rolling before she picked it up:) It was having a good time, and I didn't want to disturb it. (28 Jul 72)
  • (after kicking a football backwards over her own head:) I'm too feminine for this game! (1 Dec 64)
  • (his mother's lost three pounds by bicycling:) And through sheer terror I've lost five! (21 Jan 74)
  • Riding around all day on the back of your mom's bicycle gives you plenty of time to gives you time to think about people and about life...and about what would happen if we ran into a tree! (22 Jan 74)
  • (to his basketball, angrily tossing it into the closet after he tried to shoot a basket twice and missed both times:)You can come out when you learn to behave! (30 Mar 97)
  • Yes, ma'am.. Read us again about the clumsy kid who fell down the rabbit hole. ... And about the Chesapeake Cat. .... And about how she met Tiger Woods. (28 Apr 97)
  • I don't think I should go to school anymore. Instead of getting smarter, I'm getting dumber every day. I figure in about one more month I'll bottom out. (30 Apr 97)
  • I can't go to school...I've been suspended again for one day...another whole day! Years from now, you know what people are going to say about me? "He's one day dumber than he should be!" (30 Oct 97)
  • My life is like a messy coloring book.(05 May 97)
  • Yes, ma'am.. I'm writing a story.. It's about this kid who's in kindergarten, and how the stress is slowly destroying him.. Every morning, he.. Ma'am? Well, I have another one here about some purple bunnies..(15 May 97)
  • I could run the whole world right here from under my bed! (27 Jan 98)
  • (to Linus:) I'm your younger brother, and I don't suck my thumb or cling to a blanket for security.. ... As the years go by, you'll probably develop a real resentment toward me.. (after Linus drapes his blanket over Rerun's head) And find different ways to get even. (16 Nov 94)
  • Only ____ days till Beethoven's birthday (text on the signs that Schroeder carries around usually in November and December)
  • (after a fly ball hits Lucy, Snoopy, Linus, Violet, 5 and Pigpen in the head:) I think you're right; six bonks is a new record. (22 May 83)
  • I'm inclined to agree with you, Charlie Brown. But on the other hand we must be cautious in our thinking. We must be careful not to "throw out the baby with the bath." (Baby Sally, who is listening, suddenly looks panicked; Schroeder looks at her and says:) Please pardon the expression. (17 Oct 59)
  • The joy is in the playing. (27 Jan 73)
  • (sees Lucy and Snoopy brawling:) Fighting under the mistletoe? How gauche! (27 Dec 70)
  • (Lucy asks if musicians make a lot of money:) Money?! Who cares about money?!? This is ART, you blockhead! This is great music I'm playing, and playing great music is an art! Do you hear me? An art! (pounding on piano) Art! Art! Art! Art! Art! (30 Sep 56)]
  • (when Charlie Brown asks him how he's able to play such complicated pieces on his toy piano when the black keys are just painted on:) [matter-of-factly] I practice a lot. (9 Apr 53)
  • (when Lucy was crying over Charlie Brown in the hospital:) It's interesting that you should cry over him when you're the one who always treated him so mean! And stop wiping your tears with my piano! (19 Jul 79)
  • (After Charlie Brown carries in a package he ordered) "BEETHOVEN!!! (sighs)" (11 Nov 51)
  • (After Lucy asks him to get her perfume for Beethoven's birthday) "That's a good idea...I'll get you a bottle of 'Eau Dé Jumprope'". (11 Nov 60)
  • (to Marcie:) Stop calling me "sir"! (22 July 71 and numerous other strips from there onwards)
  • (to Charlie Brown) Hi, Chuck!
  • (on Charlie Brown:) I could strike him out on three straight pitches! (11 Mar 71 and other strips)
  • (to Charlie Brown, flirtatiously:) You touched my hand, Chuck! (5 Jun 71 and other strips)
  • (In Patty's very first strip, she watches Roy write to Linus:) Is he cute? If he is, tell him your very good friend, "Peppermint" Patty, says hello. Tell him what a real swinger I am. Put in a good word for me, Roy, and the next time we Indian wrestle, I'll try not to clobber you! (22 Aug 66)
  • (on Schroeder:) I come clear across town to play ball, and who do I get for a catcher? A miniature Leonard Bernstein! (1 Sep 66)
  • (on Snoopy:) That shortstop is the funniest-lookin' kid I've ever seen! (29 Aug 66 - Patty did not learn until several years later, on 21 Mar 74, that Snoopy is really a dog)
  • No book on psychology could be any good if one can understand it! (3 Jun 72)
  • Subtraction? Oh, yes, ma'am, I can explain it. Subtraction is the awful feeling that you know less today than you did yesterday. (13 Nov 78)
  • Ma'am? What kind of test are we having today? Multiple choice? Good! I choose not to take it! (8 Jan 79)
  • Who was the first Tudor king? Well, let me think... Is this for real, Ma'am? Or are we playing Trivia? (25 May 84)
  • (the first day of school, after Patty was held back a grade the previous year:) Fasten your seat belt, ma'am! Here I come again! (4 Sep 84)
  • (bowling a boy down the aisle at school after he insults her:) Watch for you and me on TV, kid...the program is called "bowl a pupil"! (6 Sep 84)
  • Ma'am? I don't understand this first question... which ocean are we studying? Could you be more Pacific? (7 Sep 88)
  • I don't look so bad after all! That's always been my ambition... to not look so bad after all. (8 Aug 97)
  • Here's my term paper, ma'am. Please judge it with mercy. Treat it as you would a newborn child. Which it is because I just wrote it this morning! (3 Mar 81)
  • Don't hassle me with your sighs, Chuck! (5 Feb 76)
  • This is my report on Hamlet. A hamlet is a small village with a population of maybe a few hundred, and... (19 May 94)
  • Sometimes I think I tore all the ligaments in my head. (8 Jun 89)
  • (after falling asleep in class:) I'm awake! The answer is twelve!
  • (usually said after she tries to confide in Charlie Brown and he doesn't tell her what she wants to hear:) I hate talking to you, Chuck!
  • (on why she gets bad grades:) Teachers don't like kids with big noses!
  • (reporting on a classical concert she attended:) We went to the concert, and heard "Adagio for Strings" by Samuel The Barber. (30 Jul 95)
  • This is my report on the story of the Five Little Hogs. Or was it the Six Little Pigs? Or the Nine Little Hogs, or something like that.. which is the kind of report you get when you write it while walking from your desk to the front of the room. (21 Nov 94)
  • (taking a test:) True! ... False! ... And one good old-fashioned MAYBE!!! (12 Sep 73)
  • (to Peppermint Patty:) You're weird, sir!
  • Do footballs mind being kicked, sir? Do you think it causes them to be traumatized? (12 Sep 82)
  • (her father is taking her to a Mighty Ducks hockey game:) I think we're going to see the Mighty Flamingos. (17 Nov 93)
  • (after the hockey game) I got to meet the guy who drives the Zucchini. (27 Sep 93)
  • Your optimism should be framed, Charles. (16 Mar 83)
  • (trying to clean a golf ball:) After I peeled the white cover off, I couldn't get the ball back in. (13 April 80)
  • (on why she's taking violin lessons for the summer instead of going to camp:) You can't play Brahms on a canoe paddle, sir. (28 Jun 98)
  • (on the Super Bowl:) We'll never make it to the Splendid Bowl, sir. (13 Nov 88)
  • (on the Super Bowl:) Sometimes I get a little curious ... did anybody make a hole-in-one? (12 April 93)
  • (after admiring Charlie Brown at his events:) I admire your élan, Charles.
  • It's just human nature...we all need someone to kiss us goodbye.
  • (once more antagonizing Snoopy about being the only animal in the neighborhood:) You're so smug! You think you've got it made, don't you? You think you're king because you're the only animal around here! Well, do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get a cat! (15 May 61)
  • People hate cats. People hate people who own cats. And people especially hate people with naturally curly hair who own cats! (12 Jul 61)
  • You're not pitching right, Charlie Brown. Whenever the other team hits the ball to us, and we try to catch it, the ball stings our hands! Try to pitch so that the ball won't sting our hands. (24 Apr 62)
  • What's the good of having naturally curly hair if nobody's jealous?!? (24 Oct 62)
  • People always expect more of you when you have naturally curly hair! (11 Dec 63)
  • (berating Snoopy for his lack of exercise:) You're flabby! If a crisis ever occurred, your muscles would never respond! (12 Aug 64)
  • (after Charlie Brown angrily discovered she reported his dog to the Head Beagle:) It was his own fault! He never wanted to go rabbit chasing with me! (14 Oct 69)
  • (after everyone in the neighborhood ostracizes her for reporting Snoopy to the Head Beagle:) Everyone's mad at me! No one will speak to me. (After Linus replies, "Of course, they won't! Anyone who would turn someone in to the Head Beagle doesn't deserve to be spoken to!") I didn't know what I was doing! I was upset! (To which Linus answers, "Don't talk to me, it's too late now!") (17 Oct 69)
  • (Lucy tells her that to hang around Schroeder, she has to like Beethoven:) All right, but I'll just have a small glass... (18 Jan 70)
  • I have affixed to me the dust and dirt of countless ages...who am I to disturb history? (18 Sep 55)
  • You know what I am? I'm a dust magnet! (25 Nov 59)
  • (after Violet chides him for being dirty and calls him a "germ carrier":) Even germs get tired of walking now and then! (14 Jul 61)
  • (when Lucy asks him why he doesn't look neat like the other players on the team:) Last year I batted .712. Neatness doesn't bat .712! (20 Mar 97)
  • (at the classroom) And if I'm elected class president, I promise to...
  • I'm in business...these are ready-mix mud pies! (22 May 53)
  • (to Patty:) You an' I have a lot in common...we both dislike the same things about Charlie Brown! (31 Aug 53)
  • (after she and Patty tear into Charlie Brown again and he walks away, very dejected:) You know, it's a strange thing about Charlie almost never see him laugh. (4 Dec 59)
  • My Dad can _______ better than your Dad.
  • (to "Pig-pen") You can't be class president, 'Pig-Pen'! You're a mess, and you have no dignity!
  • "(to "Snoopy")" Well, hello, there! You don't know me, do you? My name is "Violet". You're real cute... "7 Feb 51)"
  • Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. (hits Charlie Brown) That's what little girls are made of. (3 Oct 50)
  • It's a lot more fun not inviting people than it is inviting them! (14 Oct 52)
  • (to Lucy:) You'll always be a crabby little girl! You were born crabby and you're going to stay crabby! Don't think you're going to change because you're not! (16 May 64)
  • Well! Here comes ol' Charlie Brown! Good ol' Charlie Brown...yes, sir! Good ol' Charlie I hate him! (02 Oct 50 - the very first Peanuts strip)
  • (telling Charlie Brown he's quitting the baseball team:) I'm the kind who needs to win now and then. With you it's different. I think you get sort of a neurotic pleasure out of losing all the time. (3 Aug 62)
  • Every Christmas it's the same - I always end up playing a shepherd. (Shermy's only line of dialogue in "A Charlie Brown Christmas")
  • Nothing makes me more mad than wasting a good haircut! Last Saturday I got a haircut so I'd look nice for school Monday morning. Then on Monday I got sick, and I couldn't go to school for three days. I wasted a good haircut! (21 Sep 62)
  • Saturday's the only day I never get anything wrong. (7 Oct 78)
  • (on Orientation at camp:) If they try to ship us to the Orient, forget it! (15 Jun 78)
  • (to teacher:) Our family just moved here from out of state. (...) No, ma'am...I don't know which state. I don't even know where I am now! (4 Oct 78)
  • (Linus is two months older:) Aren't you kind of old for me? (9 Jun 86)
  • (to Linus:) You like mint chocolate chip? I'm surprised...most older people like vanilla! (Linus fumes.) (13 Jun 86)
  • Today my name is (insert flowery-sounding or unusual female name here, such as: Melissa, Anna, Olivia, etc.)
  • (during Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales (2002), she announces:) Today, my name is Jezebel. (Linus then tells her the story of the Biblical Jezebel's grisly death. She responds:) Today, my name is Susan. (18 Dec 87)
  • The annual meeting of the Cactus Club will now come to order...
  • (after Peppermint Patty loses a golf game:) Perhaps you'd like to invest in some choice real estate near Needles? My card!
  • (on selling "oceanview property" in Needles:) I figured coyotes can see a long way.
  • (puts hat on left side of cactus) Sometimes I hang my hat here,
(puts hat on right side of cactus) And sometimes I hang my hat over here.
(puts hat back on) Who said desert life is boring?



1950s strips

  • Charlie Brown: Sixty-three runs in the very first inning!
Schroeder: There goes our shutout! (15 Aug 52)
  • Lucy: Can you take a little friendly criticism, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Why, of course. I'm not above that sort of thing at all; a little friendly criticism can always be helpful to a person. What is it you wanted to say?
Lucy: You're kind of stupid. (17 May 55)
  • Schroeder: (to Lucy:) I wouldn't marry you unless you were the last girl on earth!
Lucy: Did you say "if" or "unless"?
Schroeder: I admit I said "unless".
Lucy: HOPE!!! (18 Jul 59)
  • Charlie Brown: Life is just too much for me. I've been confused right from the day I was born. I think the whole trouble is that we're thrown into life too fast... we're not really prepared.
    Linus: What did you want... a chance to warm up first? (9 Sep 59)
  • Lucy Van Pelt: Aren't the clouds beautiful? They look like big balls of cotton. I could just lie here all day and watch them drift by. If you use your imagination, you can see lots of things in the cloud's formations. What do you think you see, Linus?
Linus Van Pelt: Well, those clouds up there look to me look like the map of the British Honduras on the Caribbean. [points up] That cloud up there looks a little like the profile of Thomas Eakins, the famous painter and sculptor. And that group of clouds over there... [points] me the impression of the Stoning of Stephen. I can see the Apostle Paul standing there to one side.
Lucy Van Pelt: Uh huh. That's very good. What do you see in the clouds, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Well... I was going to say I saw a duckie and a horsie, but I changed my mind.

1960s strips

  • Violet: [screaming at Charlie Brown] ...AND I DON'T CARE IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?
Linus: She really hurt your feelings, didn't she, Charlie Brown? I hope she didn't take all the life out of you.
Charlie Brown: No, not completely. But you can number me among the walking wounded! (3 May 61)
  • Charlie Brown: Say, did you know that this is "Children's Art Month"?
Lucy: Why THIS month? Why not LAST month? Why not NEXT month? Why THIS month? How can you narrow down art to one particular time of the year? ART MUST BE UNCONFINED! ART MUST HAVE FREEDOM! You can't say, "Today we will produce a work of art!" You can't say...
Charlie Brown: Oh, good grief! (9 Mar 62)
  • Charlie Brown: Is Linus back from lunch yet?
Schroeder: Yes, he's back, and Shermy and Snoopy and Violet are back too...but now Patty and Lucy and Frieda have gone home for supper. (*Sigh*) This has been a long first inning! (5 Apr 63)
Lucy: No, I don't think so...
Charlie Brown: How about Nellie Fox, Dick Donovan, Willie Kirkland, Frank Lary, Al Kaline, Orlando Pena, Jerry Lumpe, Camilo Pascual, Harmon Killebrew, Bob Turley and Albie Pearson?
Lucy: No, I don't want to trade. I think Joe Shlabotnik is kind of cute.
Charlie Brown: [increasingly desperate] I'll give you Tom Cheney, Chuck Cottier, Willie Mays, Orlando Cepeda, Maury Wills, Sandy Koufax, Frank Robinson, Bob Purkey, Bill Mazeroski, Harvey Haddix, Warren Spahn, Hank Aaron, Tony Gonzales, Art Mahaffey, Roger Craig, Duke Snider, Don Nottebart, Al Spangler, Curt Simmons, Stan Musial, Ernie Banks and Larry Jackson!
Lucy: No, I don't think so...
Charlie Brown: For five years I've been trying to get a Joe Shlabotnik! My favorite baseball player, and I can't get him on a bubble gum card... Five years! My favorite player... [walks away, very depressed]
Lucy: [examines card for a few seconds] He's not as cute as I thought he was! [tosses card into the trash] (18 Aug 63)
  • Charlie Brown: Next year I'm going to be a changed person!
Lucy: That's a laugh, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: I mean it! I'm going to be strong and firm.
Lucy: Forget it. You'll always be wishy-washy!
Charlie Brown: Why can't I change just a little bit? I'll be wishy one day and washy the next! (31 Dec 65)
  • Charlie Brown: Shovel your walk?
Patty: For money?
Charlie Brown: Yes, I don't have any use for beads!
[Patty slams the door in his face]
Charlie Brown: I guess a good businessman can't afford to be sarcastic. (18 Jan 66)
  • Lucy: (to Charlie Brown) You don't think my brother and I get along very well, do you? You just wait. After we've grown, we'll be very close!
Charlie Brown: What does she mean by "close"?
Linus: We may both live on the same continent! (30 Jul 66)
  • Charlie Brown: Shovel your walk?
Violet: YOU?
Charlie Brown: I never know how to answer those one-word questions... (15 Dec 66)
  • Lucy: Here, I brought you a piece of toast.
Linus: Well, thank you.
Lucy: (Holding the toast just out of Linus' reach) "Thank you, dear sister."
Linus: Thank you, dear sister.
Lucy: "Thank you, dear sister... greatest of all sisters!"
Linus: Thank you, dear sister, greatest of all sisters!
Lucy: "Thank you, dear sister, greatest of all sisters, without whom I'd never survive!"
Linus: Thank you, dear sister, greatest of all sisters, without whom I'd never survive!
Lucy: You're very welcome.
Linus: How can I eat when I feel nauseated? (8 Jan 67)
  • Charlie Brown: This is the time of year when all the big baseball trades are made. I'm going to try to improve our team with a few shrewd trades.
Lucy: That's a great idea, Charlie Brown. Why don't you trade yourself? (8 Nov 67)
  • Lucy: (walks up to Charlie Brown carrying a baseball glove) Hey, manager... some kid must have left his glove here. It has his name on it. See? Right here... "Willie Mays." He wrote his name on his glove, see? Poor kid... he's probably been looking all over for it. We should have a "Lost and Found." I don't know any kid around here named "Willie Mays," do you? How are we gonna get it back to him? He was pretty smart putting his name on his glove this way, though. It's funny, I just don't remember any kid by that name...
Charlie Brown: Look at the name on your glove.
Lucy: What?
Charlie Brown: (appears slightly irritated) Look at your own glove. There's a name on it.
Lucy: (reads name on glove) "Babe Ruth"... Well, I'll be! How in the world do you suppose I got her glove?!?(3 Aug 69)

1970s strips

  • Charlie Brown: [at Lucy's psychiatric booth] Do you think I can ever become a mature and well-adjusted person?
Lucy: For a question like that, I have to be paid in advance.
Charlie Brown: In advance?! Why?
Lucy: Because I don't think you're going to like the answer! (26 May 70)
  • Lucy: [walking up to Charlie Brown on the pitcher's mound] Here, Charlie Brown... sign this petition!
Charlie Brown: What's it for?
Lucy: Don't be so wishy-washy... just sign it!
Lucy: Why are you so crabby?
Lucy: All right, if I let you read it, will you sign it?
Charlie Brown: [reading petition] "We, the undersigned, think our manager is too wishy-washy and too crabby."
Lucy: You promised to sign it...
Charlie Brown: I'm the only person I know who's ever signed a petition against himself. (12 Jul 70)
  • Charlie Brown: She must be kidding!
Lucy: Charlie Brown...
Charlie Brown: I can't believe it!
Lucy: Charlie Brown, I'll hold the football, and you come running up and kick it.
Charlie Brown: "HOW LONG, O LORD?"
Lucy: You're quoting from the sixth chapter of Isaiah, aren't you, Charlie Brown? "Until cities lie waste without inhabitant, and houses without men, and the land is utterly desolate..." Actually, there is a note of protest in the question as asked by Isaiah, for we might say he was unwilling to accept the finality of the Lord's judgment...
[While Lucy has been quoting Scripture, Charlie Brown has taken a running start and taken off toward the football, hoping to kick the ball while Lucy is distracted. However...]
Charlie Brown: AUGHH!
[Without missing a beat, Lucy pulls the football away, and Charlie Brown lands on the ground with a WUMP!]
Lucy: How long? All your life, Charlie Brown... all your life. (11 Oct 70)
  • Charlie Brown: Why would the library ban Miss Helen Sweetstory's book?
Linus: I can't believe it. I just can't believe it!
Charlie Brown: Maybe there are some things in her book that we don't understand.
Sally: In that case, they should also ban my Math book! (24 Oct 72)
  • Linus: Still moping? I can't believe it! But that was almost ten weeks ago!
Lucy: I can't help it! I'll never get over it! NEVER!!
Linus: Well, why don't you write a letter or something like you said you were going to do? Maybe that will help.
Lucy: I guess I will. [gets a pencil and piece of paper and writes] "Dear Bobby Riggs, You were lucky!!!" (15 Jul 73)
  • [Charlie Brown is watching a golf tournament on TV when Sally comes up behind him.]
Announcer: All right, golf fans, this is it... The old pro has to make this one... He's down to the last putt, and he can't play it safe... He has to go for it... There's no tomorrow!
[In the final panel, Sally, Linus and Snoopy are on top of Snoopy's doghouse.]
Linus: Somehow I never thought it would end this way!
Snoopy: I thought Elijah was to come first... (22 Jul 73)
  • Peppermint Patty: Marcie, I'm short a player. I need you out in right field.
Marcie: I don't know anything about baseball, sir.
Peppermint Patty: All you have to do is stand out there. Please?
Marcie: What if I get put in the penalty box?
Peppermint Patty: There's no penalty box in baseball. Now, please get out there.
Marcie: I forgot to ask if we're playing nine holes or eighteen. (26 Jul 73)
  • Linus: What are you watching?
Lucy: The "Rose Parade" from Pasadena. They have some of the most beautiful floats this year I've ever seen.
Linus: Has the Grand Marshal gone by yet?
Lucy: Yeah, you missed him... but he wasn't anyone you ever heard of! (1 Jan 74)
  • Franklin: My grandfather has a birthday this week.
Peppermint Patty: Does he mind getting old?
Franklin: No, he says it doesn't bother him ... In fact, he says he feels great... He says that once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. (3 May 74)
  • Lucy: Tomorrow is Beethoven's birthday... what are you going to buy me?
Schroeder: I'm not going to buy you anything! [stands up from his piano and continues shouting at Lucy] You know why? Because you don't care anything about Beethoven! You never have! You don't care that he suffered! You don't care that his stomach hurt and that he couldn't hear! You never cared that the Countess turned him down, or that Therese married the Baron instead of him, or that Lobkowitz stopped his annuity!! [storms away]
Lucy: If the Countess hadn't turned him down, would you buy me something? (15 Dec 74)
  • Lucy: Hey, banana nose! I never knew you had an older brother!
Snoopy: Do I bite her on the leg now, or do I wait until Spike gets here, and let him bite her? (5 Aug 75)
  • Truffles: [to Linus on the roof of her grandfather's barn] Be careful, Linus... You're going to fall!
Linus: I don't think I can get get down...It's too slippery...
Sally: I'm leaving on the bus, Linus, but don't worry! I'll send a helicopter for you! Be brave, my sweet babboo!
Linus: Helicopter?
Truffles: "Sweet babboo"? (28 Jan 77)
  • Sally: [to the class] There he was on the snow-covered barn roof! One false move would send him sliding to his death! What a predicament! Who would rescue my sweet babboo?
Linus: I'M NOT YOUR SWEET BABBOO! (08 Feb 77)
  • Sally:Here, big brother, you got a letter.
Charlie Brown: [reading the back of the letter] "The Environmental Protection Agency".
Sally: It's something about you biting a tree...
Charlie Brown: Do you always read my mail?
Sally: Do you always bite trees? (01 March 77)
  • Lucy: Look.
Sally: Look at what?
Lucy: Look at that tiny bug.. Have you ever thought about how little he knows?
Sally: He doesn't know what day it is, that's for sure! He doesn't know what's on TV tonight, either..
Lucy: He's never even heard of Farrah Fawcett-Majors.
Sally: Or Mary Tyler Moore!
Lucy: He doesn't know there's a moon in the sky and fish in the ocean...
Sally: He doesn't know anything about kites, or Frisbees or even ice cream cones!
Lucy: And he's never heard of barbers, or baptism or bass drums...
Linus: [Walking up to Lucy and Sally] Say, do any of you girls know where the new post office is?
Lucy: What new post office?
Sally: I didn't even know we had a new post office..
The Bug: [talking to Linus in dots]
Linus: Oh it is? Thank you very much.
The Bug: [walks away from Lucy and Sally, humming] (25 Sept 77)
  • Linus: You know what? I think I've learned the secret of life. I went to the doctor yesterday because I had a sore throat... The nurse put me in a small room.. I could hear a kid in another room screaming his head off... When the doctor came in to see me, I told him I was glad I wasn't in that other room... "Yes," he said... "That kid will have to have his tonsils out... You're lucky you only have a mild inflammation". The secret of life is to be in the right room!(16 Nov 77)
  • Marcie: How many skating tests are there, sir?
Peppermint Patty: Eight, Marcie, and they get harder and harder. Sometimes I think the only thing that keeps me going is the encouraging words of my coach...
Snoopy: Growl, snarl, snap, growf, bark, woof! (4 Jan 78)
  • Linus: It rains on the hills and in the valleys... It rains on the cities and in the fields. It rains on the just and the unjust.
Snoopy: And in my face! (03 Feb 78)
  • Peppermint Patty: You really liked that Little Red-Haired Girl, didn't you, Chuck? Which would you rather do, hit a home run with the bases loaded or marry the Little Red-Haired Girl?
Charlie Brown: Why couldn't I do both?
Peppermint Patty: We live in a real world, Chuck! (02 June 78)
  • Peppermint Patty: Do you think I'm beautiful, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: Of course... You have what is sometimes called a " quiet beauty".
Peppermint Patty: You may be right, Chuck. I just wish it would speak up now and then! (30 June 78)
  • Charlie Brown: I can't get that Little Red-Haired Girl out of my mind..
Linus: Why don't you call her up, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I'm afraid she'll hang up in my face!
Linus: That's the beauty of calling her on the phone. One ear isn't a whole face! (28 August 78)
  • Charlie Brown: Hello? Information? Yes, I'd like to talk to a certain Little Red-Haired Girl... No I already have her number... I was hoping you could tell me something else... What do I do when she answers the phone?(29 August 78)
  • Lucy: What's going on?
Charlie Brown: Linus is trying to get his blanket back from that cat! He's going to drop on top of him from the helicopter!
Lucy: I have long suspected that insanity runs in our family! (27 October 78)

1980s strips

  • Snoopy: Psst! Wake up, it's almost noon...the early bird gets the worm.
Woodstock: [chatters]
Snoopy: That's can get pizza until midnight! (22 Jan 80)
  • Lucy: I figured it out, Charlie Brown. If you stay depressed for two more days, you'll make it into the Book of World Records.
Charlie Brown: Wow! That's great!
Lucy: You just blew it! (27 Mar 80)
  • Lucy: Here we go, Charlie Brown... I'll hold the ball, and you come running up and kick it.
Charlie Brown: What you really mean is, you'll pull the ball away, and I'll land on my back and kill myself! Well, I have news for you... Never again! Forget it!
Lucy: Wait!
Charlie Brown: [walking away] I said, forget it!! I'm just glad you're the only person in the world who thinks I'm dumb enough to fall for that trick again.
[Charlie Brown then comes across Snoopy, Woodstock, Sally, Peppermint Patty and Marcie all grinning wickedly and holding footballs for him to run up and kick.] (16 Oct 83)
  • Peppermint Patty: I'd like to ask the teacher a question, but I'm afraid she'll think it's dumb.
Marcie: They say the only dumb question is the one that you don't ask.
Peppermint Patty: Ma'am? Is it all right if we turn in our book reports a year late?
Marcie: They were wrong! (2 Jan 84)
  • Peppermint Patty: Let me borrow your ruler, Marcie.
Marcie: As soon as you give my pen back.
Peppermint Patty: If I give your pen back, I won't have any use for the ruler.
Marcie: Sure, you need my pen to draw lines with my ruler on the ten sheets of paper you borrowed from me! [angrily begins gathering her school supplies] Here, why don't you take my eraser, my notebooks, my colored pencils, my comb, my lunch... [throws all of her school supplies at Patty] TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE!!!
Peppermint Patty: [buried in Marcie's school supplies] Do we have time for a garage sale, ma'am? (8 Jan 84)
  • Peppermint Patty: Everyone had to write an essay on what we did during Christmas vacation. When I got mine back, the teacher had given me a "D minus"...well, I'm used to that, right, Chuck? Right! Now guess what...all those essays went into a city essay contest, and I won! Explain that, Chuck!
Snoopy: Never listen to the reviewers. (9 Jan 85)
  • Peppermint Patty: School starts next week. I hope I get better grades this year. I hope I'll be the prettiest and smartest girl in the whole class.
Marcie: "Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper."
Peppermint Patty: When we go to college, Marcie, I'm not going to room with you. (27 Aug 86)
  • Peppermint Patty: I called Chuck last night, Marcie.. I don't think he likes you more than he likes me... [as Marcie pulls her hair she yells:] YOU'RE TURNING HIM AGAINST ME!! MARCIE!
Marcie: [in front of the principal's office with Patty] Want to borrow a comb before we go in, sir? (11 Sept 87)
  • Lucy: Why can't you and your dog do some things together? Go out and chase some rabbits.
Charlie Brown: I remember we tried that once...
Snoopy: A rabbit chased us for five miles! (25 Jan 88)
  • Peppermint Patty: D-minus! Good grief! I got a D-minus in every subject! And look what she wrote on the back... she said I'm not very cute! What does she mean, I'm not cute? Just because I've got a big nose and mousy-blah hair, doesn't mean I'm not cute! [kicks report card onto the ground] My dad thinks I'm cute! Every day when I was little, he'd say how cute I was...
Marcie: [picking up card and examining it] She says your attention span is not very acute.
Peppermint Patty: It's gonna be a long summer.
Marcie: You're weird, sir! (5 Jun 88)

1990s strips

  • Marcie: While you were asleep, sir, the world came to an end! You and I are the only people left alive!! Volcanoes were erupting! Icebergs were melting! Everything is gone!
Peppermint Patty: Then why is the playground full of kids?
Marcie: Sorry, sir...when I saw you got an "A" on that paper, I thought the world had come to an end... (10 Jun 90)
  • Peggy Jean: Pretty girls are human, too.
Charlie Brown: You are? (25 Jul 90)
  • Lucy: Charlie Brown! I'll hold the ball and you come running up and kick it...
Charlie Brown: Congratulate me! You have just nominated me "most stupid kid of the year"!
Lucy: But look, Charlie Brown, I've been reading this book about holding the ball... See? It tells how to hold it for the kickoff, for field goals and for extra points...
Charlie Brown: If someone is reading a book about something, I guess you have to trust her.. This year I'm gonna kick that ball all the way to Omaha!
[Lucy pulls the football away.]
Charlie Brown: AAUGH!
[He falls on his back.]
Lucy: I wrote the book, Charlie Brown. (29 Sept 91)
  • Lydia: Linus.. Have you ever written a love note?
Linus: I wouldn't know how.
Lydia: It's easy.. you just tell the girl how pretty you think she is.. or sweet.. That sort of thing... Girls appreciate love notes.
Linus: Okay, I'll try it..
Lydia: WELL?
Linus: Well, what?
Lydia: Where's the love note?
Linus: I gave it to the girl in front of me. (07 Jun 92)
Linus: [from another room] A storm is approaching! Everybody take cover! [gets under blanket]
Linus: [getting out from under blanket] The storm abates... The sun comes out.. Peace reigns again. (14 March 93)
  • Sally: I don't think the school bus is ever going to come..
Lucy: I think they've forgotten about us..
Charlie Brown: Maybe we should start walking..
Linus: Does anyone remember the name of our school? (21 April 93)
  • [Charlie Brown is at at Lucy's psychiatric booth]
Charlie Brown: Some days I'm up and the next days I'm down.
Lucy: Like an emotional roller coaster, huh? Do you ever feel like you're on a roller coaster, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: How about bumper cars? (04 April 94)
  • Lucy: As sister and brother, we're almost like a team.. I'm the manager, and you're the worthless player who is good for nothing except sitting on the bench!
Linus: It's going to be a long season. (30 April 94)
  • Sally: [to her brother, delivering his love note to the Little Red-Haired Girl while he hides behind a tree] She's reading your love note! Did you hear me? Are you still behind the tree? Wave your hand!
    Charlie Brown: [waves hand from behind the tree]
Sally: [to the Red-Haired Girl] He's still there.. Really? Oh, sure, I understand.. {to her brother, handing him back the love note) She said she couldn't read your smudgy writing... And when I told her you're in the same class at school, she said she didn't remember you.
Charlie Brown: I can't stand it! [03 Aug 94]
  • Charlie Brown: A letter! I got a letter from my Pen Pal in Scotland! [reading] "Dear Charlie, Just been to the shops.. Ma maw's in bed with a sore heid and ma da's makin mince tatties for the dinner.. Love, Morag."
Snoopy: She does prattle on, doesn't she? (27 Sept 94)
  • Sally: Why would some girl in Scotland waste her time writing to you?
Charlie Brown: Because we're pen pals.. maybe she likes my letters to her.. Sometimes pen pals fall in love..
Snoopy: It's a wee early, lad, to be thinkin' like that.. (29 Sept 94)
  • Charlie Brown: [reading] "Dear Charlie, This is your Pen Pal from Scotland. I would have written sooner, but I have thirty other Pen Pals, and.." [stops reading] THIRTY? [balls up paper and starts to cry] I thought I was the only one!
Snoopy: Life's lesson number four thousand and fifty..(06 Oct 94)
  • Charlie Brown: I thought she was only writing to me.. Then she tells me she has thirty other Pen Pals!
Linus Well, life is like a helicopter, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: Like a what?
Linus Or maybe a skateboard.. No, life is like a T-shirt.. No, life is like a gutter ball..
Charlie Brown: I can't stand it! (07 Oct 94)
  • Charlie Brown: Why should a person lie awake all night worrying about everything? Why should a person be burdening with all the cares of the world?
Snoopy: Try sleeping. (11 Mar 95)
  • Charlie Brown: I hope this isn't one of those movies where a kid goes to boarding school, and everyone is mean to him..
Peppermint Patty: Or where everyone teases a girl because she has funny hair..
Snoopy: I like a movie that shows a dog sleeping in front of a fireplace for two hours. (16 Aug 95)
  • Linus: On Halloween night, the "Great Pumpkin" rises out of the pumpkin patch, and...
Rerun: You're just trying to mess with my mind, aren't you? (28 Oct 96)
  • Charlie Brown: Sometimes when you walk by the home of the girl you love, you can see her standing by the window.. She waves at you, and you wave back.. But it's her grandmother. (26 Nov 96)
  • Peppermint Patty: Good morning, crabby..
Marcie: You want crabby? Here's crabby!
Peppermint Patty: [as Marcie pulls her hair] AAUGH!!
[The two girls begin fighting. Later, sitting outside the principal's office:]
Marcie: [grinning] That was fun.
Peppermint Patty: You're crabbily weird, Marcie. (07 Feb 97)]
  • Charlie Brown: "Pigpen," I don't understand you. It's only the first inning of our first game, and you're already covered in dirt!
Pig-Pen: This isn't ALL from today. Some of it's left over from last year! (18 Mar 97)
  • [Pig-Pen has just hit an inside-the-park home run.]
Charlie Brown: "Pigpen" slides into home! He's safe!! He's getting up! He's dusting himself off!
Lucy: Why? (21 Mar 97)
  • Charlie Brown: [to Lucy] Your job will be to hold the kite.
Lucy: Does my job have a title?
Charlie Brown: Call yourself anything you want.. Just let go of the kite after I start running..(starts running)
Lucy: I can be the "kite assistant".. Or maybe "head kite assistant".. Or even "chief kite assistant".. [forgets to let go, and the kite rips to pieces]
Lucy: How about "ex-kite assistant fourth class"?
Charlie Brown: [pounding against the ground] I can't stand it! I just can't stand it! (13 April 97)
  • Charlie Brown: Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Does anyone remember me?" Then a voice comes to me out of the darkness that says, "Sure, Frank, we remember you." (10 May 97)
  • Charlie Brown: I've come to offer you a free dog; his name is "Olaf".
Marcie: Does he bite?
Charlie Brown: Only if attacked by a pizza... (14 Jun 97)
  • [Charlie Brown is at Lucy's psychiatric booth]
Charlie Brown: It was my gramma.. She always used to say "laugh at the dinner table..cry before bed".
Lucy: I don't know... Grammas say some strange things..
Charlie Brown: But I think I've begun to believe her.. I think I'm afraid to be happy..
Lucy: How can you be afraid to be happy?
Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad happens..
Lucy: Are you happy right now?
Charlie Brown: I guess so.. [suddenly falls out of chair]
Lucy: Tell me something more about this gramma of yours. (15 Jun 97)
  • Snoopy: (on his doghouse) I hate being left alone. Maybe they'll never come back.. That round-headed kid wouldn't leave me, would he? No he wouldn't! Would he? I'm never sure they're coming back until I see the headlights coming around the corner.. I shouldn't keep looking.. But I can't help it.. Is that them? No, it wasn't them.. Watched headlights never come..(16 Jun 97)
  • Lucy: Having an older sister is like having a compass to guide you through life.
Rerun: [to Linus] Is that true?
Linus: [under blanket] I'm not here. (10 Jul 97)
  • Peppermint Patty: Quick, Marcie, I need a pencil and some paper. And I need an eraser, a pen and a ruler.
Marcie: (to the teacher) No, Ma'am... I'm her caddie. (18 Sept 97)
  • Peppermint Patty: [to Charlie Brown on the phone] Hi, Chuck! Do you miss me?
Charlie Brown: Do I WHAT?
Peppermint Patty: Miss me, Chuck! Do you miss me?! What's the matter with you? Don't you understand anything?!
Charlie Brown: Who is this?
Charlie Brown: Oh.
Charlie Brown: I'm sorry.. I was thinking of something else... I have to feed my dog..
Charlie Brown: [Hands phone to Snoopy]
Snoopy: Woof!
Peppermint Patty: How sweet! (19 Oct 97)
[kite falls to the ground]
[kite suddenly starts flying]
Sally: So how did your kite flying go today?
Charlie Brown I think I learned something, but I'm not sure what it was.. (01 Mar 98)
  • Linus: See? There she is, Charlie Brown... There's the Little Red-Haired Girl just waiting for you to ask her to dance...
Charlie Brown: I wish I were sophisticated like guys you read about in stories..
Snoopy: Here's the Scott Fitzgerald hero standing by the punch bowl "trying to look uninterested in the dancers. Don't give it another thought, old sport!" (21 May 98)
  • Charlie Brown: I can't believe I'm doing this.. I'm walking toward the Little Red-Haired Girl.. I'm going to ask her to dance.. I'm getting closer.. I'm almost there.. I'm..
Peppermint Patty: Chuck! We've been looking for you!
Marcie: Come on, Charles, they're playing the "Hokey-Pokey".
Charlie Brown: Oh, good grief! (22 May 98)
  • Snoopy: Here's Gatsby standing by the punch bowl watching couples dance by... "It was in nineteen-nineteen.. I only stayed five months.. That's why I can't really call myself an Oxford man. Both of us loved each other all that time, old sport." (23 May 98)
  • Linus: Charlie Brown! Where have you been?
Charlie Brown: I've been doing the "Hokey-Pokey" with Patty and Marcie.. Listen.. They're playing a foxtrot.. Now I can ask that Little Red-Haired Girl to dance..
Linus: I think someone is ahead of you..
Snoopy: [dancing with the Little Red-Haired Girl] "Daisy and Gatsby danced.. I remember his graceful conservative foxtrot". (25 May 98)
  • [Peppermint Patty and Marcie are at Charlie Brown's doorstep]
Peppermint Patty: The Hokey-Pokey wasn't very romantic, Chuck.
Marcie: I saved you the waltz, Charles, but I never saw you..
Peppermint Patty: How about the limo, Chuck? We never saw a limo, either..
Marcie: How come you fell down doing the Hokey-Pokey?
[They start to leave, Charlie Brown in a strong state of confusion]
Peppermint Patty: Don't invite us to any more dances, Chuck.
Marcie: "Many a heart is broken after the ball." (28 May 98)
  • Charlie Brown: My arm hurts..
Lucy: Why don't you let me pitch? I have a cute arm!
Charlie Brown: Pitchers don't have cute arms!
Lucy: I bet Ty Cobb had a cute arm, didn't she? (17 June 98)
  • Lucy: A good manager knows how to communicate with his players.. A good manager even shows concern for their welfare..
Charlie Brown: How've you been? (22 June 98)
  • Lucy: Listen to me.. Mom doesn't want you to have a dog, does she?
Rerun: No..
Lucy: Do you really think Santa Claus is going to bring you something Mom doesn't want you to have?
Rerun: Ooo! Supreme Court stuff! ( 23 Dec 98 )
  • Rerun: Snoopy, who am I kidding? Lucy is right.. Santa Claus is never going to bring a dog to someone whose Mom doesn't want him to have a dog.. If I'm lucky, I'll get a pair of socks and an orange..
Snoopy: If I get a rubber bone, I'll share it. ( 24 Dec 98 )
  • Franklin: I never got around to reading the book we were supposed to read during Christmas vacation.
Marcie: I started to read it, but I couldn't understand it...
Peppermint Patty: What book? (4 Jan 99)
  • [Charlie Brown is at at Lucy's psychiatric booth]
Charlie Brown: I don't always want to be who I am.. So I'm wondering if I could ever learn to be the life of the party?
Lucy: YOU?! HA HA HA HA HA! ---I'm sorry..I shouldn't have laughed... Where were we? Oh, yes, now I remember.. You? The life of the party? HA HA HA HA!
[Charlie Brown goes home.]
Sally: Well, how did your session with the psychiatrist go?
Charlie Brown: I was asking her if I could ever learn to be the life of the party, and..
Sally: YOU?! HA HA HA HA!
Charlie Brown: Actually, I've never been invited to a party. (04 April 99)
  • Lucy: Hey, manager, how come I always have to play right field?
Charlie Brown: Because you're such a terrible player!
Lucy: I suppose you think you're such a great pitcher, huh? And I suppose you think you're such a great manager?
Charlie Brown: This could turn ugly... (22 Jun 99)
  • Sally: Lucy's on the phone. She wants to know why she always has to play right field.
Charlie Brown: Traditionally, the player who is weakest defensively plays right field.
Sally: [to Lucy on the phone] He says the dumbest player always plays right field.
Charlie Brown: This could turn really ugly... (23 Jun 99)
  • Lucy: Hey, manager, I've decided if I have to play right field all the time, I'd rather not play at all..
Charlie Brown: Really? Wow! That's great! Boy, what a relief!
Lucy: Okay, I'll play right field.. (25 Jun 99)
  • Little Girl With the Braids: The teacher says we were supposed to paint these flowers..
Rerun: I don't do flowers.. I do underground comic books.. See? Here's a spaceman on Mars fighting a purple monster!
Little Girl With the Braids: Where are the women? I don't see any women..
Rerun: They have long hair, right? (13 Sept 99)
  • Little Girl With the Braids: I heard you were sick yesterday..
Rerun: Yes, but today I'm back.
Little Girl With the Braids: The fat kid tried to sit in your place while you were gone.. I hit him with a box of watercolors.
Rerun: I was wondering why he was wearing a red, blue, green, and yellow shirt. (10 Nov 99)
  • Charlie Brown: I just don't think you should write to Santa Claus and call him "snooty".
Sally: Why not? He made me mad last year. I refuse to call him Mr. Claus!
Charlie Brown: Well, give it some thought..
Sally: I will. [Later, writing] "Dear Shorty," (01 Dec 99)
  • Sally: [to Charlie Brown] That phone call was for you.. I told them you don't take personal calls.. I told them you lead a secluded life, and prefer not to be part of the outside world.. I volunteered to be the one in our family to take all the phone calls..
Charlie Brown: I'd say something, but I am out of this world..(31 Dec 99)



TV shows


The Snoopy Show

  • [Snoopy is screaming in a movie theater after being scared by a horror movie]
PigPen: Your dog is making a mockery of my cinematic experience!
Peppermint Patty: Hey Chuck, can you tell the funny-looking kid to keep it down?
[Snoopy jumps on Charlie Brown, clutching his head in terror.]
Charlie Brown: Good grief!
  • [Snoopy and Woodstock encounters Linus at night. Linus is tied up in his blanket blocking his eyes, and Snoopy mistakes him for a mummy. Snoopy is so terrified, he can't even scream. Both Snoopy and Woodstock run away]
Linus: [Unable to see] Wow, daylight savings really snuck up on me this year.
  • [Snoopy is building a snowman with Woodstock and the birds]
Charlie Brown: Are you sure you want to build a snowman? You know how you get when they melt.
[A flashback shows Snoopy wailing in despair over a melted snowman.]
[In the present day, Snoopy laughs it off.]
Charlie Brown: Okay. Well, have fun.