Puss in Boots (2011 film)
Puss in Boots is a 2011 computer-animated adventure film produced by DreamWorks Animation, directed by Chris Miller (who directed Shrek the Third in 2007), executive produced by Guillermo del Toro, starring Antonio Banderas, Billy Bob Thornton and Salma Hayek, and written by Tom Wheeler. It was released in theatres on October 28, 2011 in Digital 3D and IMAX 3D.
Puss in Boots
- [first lines of the film; voice over] Through the years I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato, The Furry Lover, Chupa Cabra, Frisky Two Times and then The Gingerhead man. But to most I am Puss in Boots, outlaw!
- Don't make the cat angry...
- You have made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry!
- Fear me, if you dare!
- Hello? You are hiding from me? I like to play the games too. I sense in you a kindred spirit. A... [he takes sniff of the air] I smell something familiar, something dangerous, something breakfasty.
- [voice over] It was the year in which the rain had not fallen. The wind was big and the basket was small. For days I bounced along. A hungry little kitten with no milk, no mama and no litter box. Until I came to rest at a home for lost children.
- [voice over] I lost everything I cared about that day. My brother, my honor, my home. All I thought about was the disappointment in my mama's eyes. And I have been running ever since. [back to the present as he's finishing telling his story to Kitty] The egg betrayed me. His lies cost me everything.
- [about his catnip] It's for my glaucoma.
- I will not leave you behind this time, Humpty.
- You are what you have always been: my brother.
- I always knew that you were good inside. [The Great Terror and the Golden Goose take the golden egg and fly off] Goodbye, Humpty.
- [last lines; voice over] This is the story of a cat who became a hero. An outlaw dedicated to justice and a lover of beautiful women. A great, great lover. Really, it is crazy. I am Puss in Boots! And my name would become legend.
- [To Puss; in sing-song voice] Someone forgot his money!
- I'm called Kitty Softpaws, because I'll steal you blind and you'll never notice that I'm there.
Humpty Alexander Dumpty
- It’s been a long time, brother.
- Are those new boots? [Puss: No! They are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me.] Be-betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers! (Well, not exactly in pieces, but still!) They wrote a song about it!
- I’m sorry, okay? How long are you going to hold a grudge? It’s been 7 years! That’s like 35 cat years! (Uh, give or take.) You need me and I... I need you, Puss. Do you have any idea what they do to eggs in San Ricardo's prison? I'll tell you this, my friend: it ain't over easy!
- Listen, a day… a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about what I lost. I lost my best friend, my only friend. And I get it now, I got greedy and desperate and I let you down, I let myself down. All I’m asking for, Puss, is a second chance. Give me that second chance and I’ll help repay you back San Ricardo. Please, Puss. Let me show you what our friendship mean to me.
- Well, we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans, lima beans… but no magic beans. [Puss: Would you care for a jelly bean?] Oh, thank you.
- You mean your home. I… I never belonged here. We had a plan to get out of here, but then you became a hero and you picked this place over me. You left me with nothing.
- I'm sorry, Puss. I made a mess out of everything. I'm a rotten egg. I'm not a person, I'm not a bird, I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.
- Brothers forever.
- [Last words before his death] Puss, you have to save the baby or the mama will destroy San Ricardo. It’s the right thing to do. [Puss: I will not let you go, Humpty.] I know you won’t, so I won’t make you choose.
- Humpty Alexander Dumpty: Are those new boots?
- Puss: No, they are the same boots I wore when you betrayed me!
- Humpyty Dumpty: Be-betrayed you? You left me cracked in pieces on a bridge, surrounded by soldiers! (Well, not exactly in pieces, but still!) They wrote a song about it!
- Kitty : [sing-song voice] Someone forgot his money! [shows Puss his bag of money]
- Kitty: I'll steal you blind and you won't even know I was there!
- Tavern patron #1: Show him the golden eggs. [Tavern patron #2 begins to try unzipping his pants; cut to Puss]
- Puss: No, please...! You have shown enough.
- Young Humpty Dumpty: Well, we got red beans, we got green beans, coffee beans, lima beans… but no magic beans.
- Young Puss: Would you care for a jelly bean?
- Young Humpty: Oh, thank you.
- Jill: [holding Puss upside down by his foot over a cliff] Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?
- Puss: No, that is just a rumor spread by dogs!
- Puss: You set me up (again)?
- Humpty: Oh, yeah! I set you up, of course! You think this was all about getting the gold and clearing your name? (Is that you what thought? Well, no.) This little adventure was about one thing - revenge! You never knew it, Puss, but I was always... there. [Puss remembers when Humpty Dumpty appears in different places, The old man's cottage, the bar, the hotel, the cats' hideout and how Humpty gets picked up by crows] You wanted to repay and old debt, Puss? Well, so did I.
- Puss: (So... you were at the cottage, the bar, the hotel and the hideout?) Why would you do this?
- Humpty: You left me on that bridge! You abandoned me when I needed you the most. What happened to brothers forever?
- Puss: I trusted you! (I only abandoned you on the bridge because you tricked and betrayed me!)
- Humpty: (Oh, yeah?) Well, now you're finally gonna know what it feels like, you know? To trust someone and have them stab you in the back! Guards!
- [The Comandante’s guards surround Puss]
- Comandate: Puss in Boots, you are under arrest for the robbery of the San Ricardo bank!
- Humpty: Consider this the final meeting of bean club.
- Comandate: 1 hat, 1 belt, and 2 boots… Once a symbol of honor. [a bottle of catnip falls out of his boot] 1 bottle of catnap?!
- Puss: Uh… it is for my glaucoma.
- Prisoner: No, no! Don't stop on my account? Well, it looks like the egg got what he wanted.
- Puss: You talking about Hump–?
- Prisoner: [stabbles] Don't say his name! I used to share this cell with that smelly thing. Happiest day of my life was when he left, till I realized he stole my magic beans.
- Puss: Wait, wait, wait! You had the beans? Who are you? [the prisoner has fallen asleep snoring loudly, Puss wakes him up] Hey! What's your name?
- Prisoner: [screams] Andy Beanstalk? But my friends call me Jack. I traded the family cow for them beans. Of course, it wasn't my family's cow, some other family's family cow. That's why I got 8 to 10 years. Always know which cow's yours… [falls asleep again snoring loudly]
- Puss: Crazy man. WAKE UP! [Andy wakes up again] What else do you know?
- Prisoner (Andy "Jack" Beanstalk): We're all goners… thanks to that little stinky! I told him! I told him not to take the goose, but all he wanted was his revenge.
- Puss: "Don't take the goose." Why? [Andy is fallen asleep again and he slaps him to wake him up]
- Andy "Jack" Beanstalk: [screams] The Great Terror! That's the Golden Goose's mama.
- Puss: Oh, no.
- Andy Beanstalk: And she will be out for blood when she comes back for her baby.
- Puss: [gasps] GUARD, SAN RICARDO'S IN TERRIBLE DANGER!! YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME!!!
- Guard: Quiet, you.
- Humpy: Puss, you have to save the baby or the mama will destroy San Ricardo. It’s the right thing to do.
- Puss: I will not let you go, Humpty.
- Humpty: I know you won’t, so I won’t make you choose. (So long… brother.) [let's go of the rope]
- Puss: Humpty!
- Looking good never looked so good.
- Live for danger. Fight for justice. Pray for mercy.
- Get ready for an adventure nine lifetimes in the making.
- He's been a bad kitty.
- Rebel. Lover. Hero.
- Nine lives. One destiny.
- Antonio Banderas — Puss in Boots
- Salma Hayek — Kitty Softpaws
- Zach Galifianakis — Humpty Alexander Dumpty
- Billy Bob Thornton — Jack
- Amy Sedaris — Jill
- Walt Dohrn — the Narrator
- Zeus Mendoza — Rancher
- Constance Marie — Imelda
- Guillermo del Toro — Moustache Man / Comandate
- Bob Joles — Guiseppe
- Frank Welker — Animals' vocal effects (uncredited)