Shrek 2

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Shrek 2 is a 2004 animated film in which Princess Fiona's parents invite her and Shrek to dinner to celebrate her marriage, not knowing that the newlyweds are both ogres. It is a sequel to the previous film.

Directed by Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, and Conrad Vernon. Written by Andrew Adamson, Joe Stillman, J. David Stem, and David N. Weiss.
Once Upon Another Time...(taglines)

Dialogue[edit]

[First lines]
Prince Charming: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land, everyone was happy...until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night. Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother who had them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss of the handsome Prince Charming. [the scene shows Prince Charming riding on his horse] It was he who would chance the perilous journey through blistering cold and scorching desert, traveling for many days and nights, risking life and limb to reach the Dragon's Keep. [enters the Dragon's Keep] For he was the bravest, [takes off his helmet] and most handsome... [shakes head in slow motion] ...In all the land. And it was destiny that his kiss [sprays in his mouth] would break the dreaded curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to the princess' chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the gossamer curtains to find her...[gasps, seeing the Big Bad Wolf in Fiona's place]
Big Bad Wolf: What?
Prince Charming: Princess...Fiona?
Wolf: No!
Charming: [relieved] Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?
Wolf: She's on her honeymoon.
Charming: [shocked] Honeymoon, with whom?!
[Scene changes to Shrek and Fiona entering their honeymoon suite out of the gingerbread house]

Donkey: Say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure no one bothers you.
Shrek: Donkey.
Donkey: Yes, roomie?
Shrek: You're bothering me.

Donkey: Royal ball?! Can I come?
Shrek: We're not going.
Fiona and Donkey: What?
Shrek: I mean, don't you think they might be a bit shocked to see you like this?
Fiona: Well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. And don't worry. They'll love you, too.
Shrek: Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club.
Fiona: Stop it. They're not like that.
Shrek: How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?

[Mid-way through the ride to Far, Far Away, Donkey becomes bored]
Donkey: But this is takin’ forever, Shrek, there ain't no in-flight movie or nothin’.
Shrek: The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far, far...[softly] away!
Donkey: All right, all right. I get it! I'm just so darn bored!
Shrek: Well, find a way to entertain yourself. [there’s silence for a moment, then Donkey pops his lips, then again, and Shrek grows more impatient, then Donkey pops his lips a third time] Oh! For five minutes... Could you not be yourself? [loudly] FOR FIVE MINUTES!!! [after another moment of silence, Donkey pops his lips one last time] AAAARGH!!!!!!! ARE WE THERE YET?!?!
Fiona: Yes!
Donkey: Oh, finally!

Fiona: [lets out a loud belch that interrupts a conversation] Oh! Excuse me.
Shrek: Better out than in, I always say. Eh, Fiona?

[after Shrek snatched the "Happiness" card and the Fairy Godmother leaves]
Fiona: Very nice, Shrek.
Shrek: What? I told you coming here was a bad idea.
Fiona: You could’ve at least tried to get along with my father.
Shrek: Somehow I don’t think I was going to get daddy’s blessing, even if I did want it.
Fiona: [as a bichon frise starts barking] Well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted?
Shrek: Sure. Do you want me to pack for you?
Fiona: You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... [sighs]
Shrek: Go on, say it!
Fiona: Like an OGRE!!!
Shrek: Well, here's a newsflash for you! Whether your parents like it or not, I AM AN OGRE!!!!! [roars at bichon frise to shut up] And guess what, princess? That's not about to change!
Fiona: [walks to the door] I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. [leaves]
Donkey: That's real smooth, Shrek. [mimicks Shrek] "I'M AN OGRE!! ARRRRRRR!!!!!"

Harold: Charming! Is that you? My gosh, it's been years! When did you get back?
Charming: [irritated] Oh, about 5 minutes ago, actually. [raised tone] After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, I climbed to the highest room of the tallest tower
Fairy Godmother: [cutting him off] Tut, tut, tut. Mummy can handle this. [to King Harold, using the same hostile tone Charming used earlier] He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower, and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!
Harold: [stammers] It wasn't my fault! He didn't get there in time.
Fairy Godmother: [to Kyle] STOP THE CAR!

Donkey: [after just being snuck up on by Puss in Boots, who stomps on his hoof, getting him to cry] Owww! You little hairy little licking sack of...
[tear lands onto card]
Fairy Godmother: ["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing] Is it on?, Is it on? [clears throat] What? Is it on? Is it on? This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After!
[bubble pops]

Shrek: All I made was a big, stupid mistake. I never should have rescued her from the tower in the first place.

[Harold enters the back room of the Poison Apple, Charming and Godmother are sitting]
Harold: Fairy Godmother. Charming.
Fairy Godmother: Ugh, you’d better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold.
Harold: Well, I’m afraid Fiona isn’t really…warming up to Prince Charming.
Charming: Umm, F-Y-I, not my fault.
Fairy Godmother: Oh no, no, of course it’s not, dear.
Charming: I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I’m that dreadful ogre?
Harold: No, no, it’s nobody’s fault. Perhaps it’s best if we just call the whole thing off, okay?
Fairy Godmother: What?!
Charming: What?!
Harold: I mean you can’t force someone to fall in love!
Fairy Godmother: Oh I beg to differ. I do it all the time. [gets out the red heart vial and hands it to Harold] Have Fiona drink this and she’ll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming.
Harold: Umm, no.
Fairy Godmother: What did you say?
Harold: [stutters] I...I...I can’t. I...I won’t do it.
Fairy Godmother: Oh, yes, you will. If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after. And I can take it away just as easily. [sticks her wand in his face] Is that what you want? Is it?
Harold: No.
Fairy Godmother: [puts her wand down] Good boy. Now, we have to go. I need to do Charming’s hair before the ball. He’s hopeless. Y'know he’s all high in the front, he can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back of your hair.
Charming: Oh. Thank you, mother.
Donkey: [from outside the window] Mother?!
[Fairy Godmother, Charming and Harold turn their heads fast to see Shrek, Donkey and Puss standing at the window.]
Shrek: Um, Mary! A talking horse!
Fairy Godmother: [angrily] THE OGRE!!!!!
[Shrek, Donkey and Puss runs off from the Poison Apple, Fairy Godmother flies after them.]
Fairy Godmother: [to the guards] STOP THEM!! THIEVES!! BANDITS!! STOP THEM!!!

Donkey: Get us outta here!! You can't locked me you have it! Let me go! What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say, "You have the right to remain silent." Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!?
Shrek: Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.
Puss: [camera shows just Puss] I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad.
Pinocchio: Shrek? Donkey?
Puss: [looks up to see fairy tale creatures above him] Too late.

Shrek: Quick, tell a lie!
Pinocchio: What should I say?
Donkey: Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"
Pinocchio: I'm wearing ladies underwear.
[silence]
Shrek: Are you?
Pinocchio: I most certainly am not!
[nose extends]
Donkey: It looks like you most certainly am are!
Pinocchio: I am not!
[nose extends]
Puss: What kind?
Gingy: It's a thong! [pulls at his pink thong and lets it slap back]
Pinocchio: Ow! They’re briefs!
Gingy: [takes the key and runs across Pinocchio's nose as it continues to extend with each denial] Are not!
Pinocchio: Are too!
Gingy Are not!
Pinocchio: Are too!
Gingy: [reaches Shrek and uses the key to free Shrek, Donkey, and Puss] All right, here we go. Hang tight.
[Shrek lands his feet on the cell floor. Then Puss.]
Donkey: Wait, wait, wait! Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey! [lands his back on the cell floor] Ow!
[Shrek looks at the Far Far Away palace from outside the window, then hears a muffle voice.]
Shrek: What? [sees the mouse's tail sticking out from Puss' mouth] Puss!
Puss: Hmm? [spits out a blind mouse] Sorry, boss.
Shrek: Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!
Donkey: Oh, I thought you were gonna let her go.
Shrek: I was, but I can't let him do this to Fiona.
Donkey: Boom! That’s what I like to hear. Look who’s finally coming around!
Puss: But it’s impossible! We’ll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything!

Cast[edit]

Voice Cast[edit]

Additional Voices[edit]

Teaser Trailer[edit]

Charming: Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. Who set out on a quest to find a rare princess. But it was his destiny to climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to pull back the gossamer curtains to find her… [the prince gasps, seeing the Big Bad Wolf in Fiona's place]
Wolf: What?
Charming: Princess…Fiona?
Wolf: She’s on her honeymoon.
Charming: With whom?!
[The words 'ONCE UPON ANOTHER TIME...' The scene changes to Shrek and Fiona entering their bridal suite]
Narrator: They're off.
Donkey: Hey Come on Shrek! We don’t wanna hit traffic!
Narrator: On a new journey...
Donkey: Wow!
Narrator: To a distant land...
Donkey: Yeah, you working that hat!
Narrator: Where Princess Fiona...
Fiona: Well, this is it.
Harold: This is it.
Narrator: Can show her new husband.
[all gasping]
[dove gets hit by a wall]
Harold: Our daughter has married a monster!
[Fiona belches]
[both giggle]
Harold: An ogre from a swamp.
Lillian: Well I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.
[Harold splutters]
Shrek: [chokes; spoon clinks on table] It’s a bit early to be thinking about that, isn’t it?
Harold: Indeed. I just started eating.
Lillian: Harold!
Fiona: Shrek!
Shrek: Fiona!
Donkey: Donkey!
Lillian: It’s so nice to have the family together for dinner.
Narrator: DreamWorks Pictures presents...
Harold: I’m looking for the Ugly Stepsister.
Narrator: Old friends...
Donkey: Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure!
Narrator: And a few surprises...
Puss: Pray for mercy from… Puss… in Boots! Fear me, if you dare! [hisses]
Donkey: I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken.
Narrator: They're coming soon to a theater near you.
Donkey: This is taking forever.
Shrek: Well, find a way to entertain yourself.
[pop]
[Fiona notices Donkey will pop, and braces for the inevitable]
[pop]
Shrek: ARGH!

See also[edit]

Taglines[edit]

  • In Summer 2004, They're Back for More.
  • Once Upon Another Time...
  • Not So Far, Far Away.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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