Shrek the Third

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Shrek the Third (or Shrek III), also known as Shrek 3, in early production and not to be confused with Shrek 3-D, is the second sequel to Shrek (2001). It was released on May 18, 2007.

Shrek[edit]

  • I can’t believe I’m going to be a father! How did this happen?
  • If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. Even if his robe doesn't quite cover his–
  • [out of nowhere looking at Prince Charming] Break a leg, or on second thought let me twist a leg for you.

Donkey[edit]

  • [singing to Shrek and Fiona] Good morning... good morning... to you... and you... and you!
  • [After pulling the covers off and seeing Shrek naked] Aaaahh!! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!
  • [after seeing the villains, with Captain Hook on a piano] Look out! They got a piano!
  • [at the end of Shrek's dream sequence, he and Puss appear with ogre baby heads] Dada.
  • [in Puss in Boots' body] Oh, man, I haven't been on a trip like that since college. (Shrek: Donkey?) What? Is there somethin' in my teeth? [gasps] What the...? Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a fancy-feastin', second-rate sidekick!
  • [in Puss in Boots' body] Yeah, you should think about getting yourself a pair of pants! I feel all exposed and nasty! [Shrek and Artie laughing about the switching bodies] Oh! You two think this is funny?
  • [He and Puss have just switched bodies] How in the name of Hans Christian Anderson am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots?!
  • Like the sauce? It's spicy!
  • [in Puss in Boots' body] Yeah, the breakfast croissants stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. Oh, and please tell me you at least got the saffron corn with jalapeño honey butter, 'cause our client cannot get into his properly emotional state without his jalapeño honey butter!

Puss in Boots[edit]

  • [in Donkey's body] Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise!
  • I gotta go.

Arthur "Artie" Pendragon[edit]

  • This is lame.
  • Wait, did you just say Arthur?
  • Who really thinks we to settle things this way?
  • A good friend of mine once told me, that just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre... or just some loser... doesn't mean you are one. The thing that matters most, is what you think of yourself. If there's something you really want, or someone you really want to be, then the only person standing in your way... is you. What I mean is, each of you... is standing in your own way.

Dialogue[edit]

[Poison Apple Pub]
Prince Charming: What does a Prince have to do to get a drink around here? [Mabel turns around in front of him] Ah Mabel, why they call you an ugly stepsister I'll never know. Where's Doris, taking the night off?
Mabel: She's not welcome here and neither are you. [spits into the mug and wipes it with a towel] What do you want, Charming?
Prince Charming: Oh not much, just a chance at redemption... [laughs] and a Fuzzy Navel. [stands up and turns to the villains] And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends!
[Captain Hook rips across the piano keys with his hook angrily, the Singing witch bares her teeth at Charming in rage, the Evil Queen breaks her pool cue stick in fury, and the Puppet Master breaks his beer mug in anger]
Captain Hook: We're not your friends. [Mabel grabs Prince Charming by his shoulders and pins him on top of the bar; he then places his hook against his neck] And you, don't belong here.
Prince Charming: You're right, oh, I mean you're absolutely right, but I mean, do any of us?
Cyclops: Do a number on his face!
Prince Charming: No, no, wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think. [to the Evil Queen] Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White and then what happened?
Evil Queen: Oh, what's it to you?
Prince Charming: They left you the un-fairest of them all. And now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. How does that feel?
Evil Queen: [despaired] Pretty unfair.
Prince Charming: [to the Puppet Master] And you? Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father.
Puppet Master: [griefly] I hate that little wooden puppet.
Prince Charming: [to Captain Hook] And Hook... need I say more? [Hook backs off, feeling insecure about his appendage] And you! Frumpy-pigskin.
Rumpelstiltskin: Rumpelstiltskin.
Prince Charming: Where's that first-born you were promised, hey? [Rumpelstiltskin caresses a pacifier tattoo on his forearm; he then turns to Mabel] Mabel, remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot into that tiny glass slipper? [Mabel sighs depressingly] Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now, eating bonbons, cavorting with every little last fairy-tale creature that has EVER done you wrong! [turns his attention to the villains] Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. But there are two sides to every story. And our side has not been told. So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their happily ever after?!
[The villains cheer rowdily and start to have a big brawl in the pub; Prince Charming looks and drinks his Fuzzy Navel]

Doris: You poor sweet things.
Cinderella: I don't get it.
Snow White: The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get?

Doris: I know he's a jerk and everything but I gotta admit that Charming makes me hotter than July.
Princesses: Ew!
Fiona: That’s it.

Snow White: I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me!
Sleeping Beauty: [while being carried by Doris] Everything's always about you, isn't it? It's not like your attitude is helping, Snow.
Snow White: Well, maybe it just bothers you that I was voted fairest in the land!
Rapunzel: You mean in that rigged election?
Snow White: Oh, give me a break. [dreamy voice] "Rapunzel, Rapunzel!" [sarcastic voice] "Let down thy golden extensions."
[Rapunzel gets angered by the insult]
Queen Lillian: Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together.

[Rapunzel has betrayed the princesses in order to be with Prince Charming]
Fiona: Charming, let go of her!
Prince Charming: But why would I want to do that?
Rapunzel: [looks at Charming; dreamily] Grrr!
Prince Charming: [looks at Rapunzel] Woof!
[they both share a kiss in the princesses' shock]
Fiona: [anonymous] What?
Prince Charming: Say hello to the new queen of Far Far Away!
Cinderella: Yay! [claps] (Sorry.)
[Awkward pause]
Fiona: Rapunzel, how could you?
Rapunzel: Jealous much?

Arthur "Artie" Pendragon: This is lame.
Merlin: [whacks him] You're lame.

Snow White: Right! Ladies, assume the position!

[As Shrek stands in front of the group of ogre babies naked wearing a graduation cap, all of the ogre babies laugh at him]
Shrek: [screams, stands up, groans] Donkey? Donkey, wake up! [It turns out Donkey and Puss have ogre baby heads, making him terrified.]
Donkey: [with ogre baby head and the same voice] Dada.
Shrek: [screams, stands up] [It was daytime. Donkey and Puss in Boots are wide awake.]
Donkey: Shrek, are you okay?
Shrek: Ohhh… I can't believe I'm gonna be a father! How did this happen?
Puss in Boots: Allow me to explain. You see, when a man has certain feelings for a woman, a powerful urge sweeps over him.
Shrek: I know that it’s happen.

Donkey: [Referring to his Dronkeys] They grow up so fast.
Shrek: [Annoyed by their intrusion] Not fast enough.

[Sleeping Beauty falls asleep, Snow White lies down in her coffin pose, and Cinderella seats herself on the floor gazing dreamily into space.]
Fiona: What are you doing?
Sleeping Beauty: [snaps awake] Waiting to be rescued. [falls back asleep]

Shrek: [looking at Artie talking with princesses] See, what'd I tell ya? The kid's gonna make a great king.
Fiona: For what it's worth, you would have too.
Shrek: [rubs Fiona's stomach] I have something much more important in mind.

Captain Hook: [looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook] Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan!
Boy's Mother: His name's not Peter!
Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy!

Donkey: Wor-ces-ter-shiree? Now, that sounds fancy!
Shrek : It's "Worcestershire".
Donkey: Like the sauce? It's spicy!

Arthur Pendragon: [to Shrek] Please, don't eat me.
[Students and Teacher(s) chanting "Eat him"]
Shrek: I'm not here to eat him!
Students and Teacher: [groaning] Aww...
Shrek: It's time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new king of Far Far Away.
Arthur: What?

Gingy: Whew! This is worse than love letters. I hate dinner theater!
Pinocchio: Me too. [nose grows]

Rapunzel: But, Pooky, you said you wouldn't hurt them.
Prince Charming: Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later.

Prince Charming: You! [to Pinocchio] You can't lie. So tell me, puppet. Where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Uh. Hmm, well, uh... I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: ...Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was, that'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't... [Gingy still singing]

Artie: [after guards try to kill them, Artie comes up with a plan] Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you!
Shrek: [playing along, acting like a spoiled celebrity] Donkey, we're dealing with amateurs.
Artie: He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek.
Shrek: I'm gonna lose it! [before continuing trying to keep his cool]
Artie: I assume you have everything ready for tonight? You did get the list for the dressing room?
Donkey [in Puss in Boots' body]: [playing along] Yeah, the breakfast croissants stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. [aggravated] Oh, and please tell me you at least got the saffron corn with jalapeño honey butter, 'cause our client cannot get into his properly emotional state without his jalapeño honey butter!
Shrek: I just lost it. [Puss turns eyes at Shrek even more aggravated]
Guard: Perhaps we should talk to Nancy in Human Resources.
Puss in Boots [in Donkey's body]: Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise!

Fiona: Where's Shrek?
Donkey [in Puss' body]: Charming's got him, Princess! And he plans on killing Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom.
Fiona: [to the princesses] Alright everyone, we need to find a way out, now.

Shrek: [confronts Prince Charming in the dressing room] Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you.
Prince Charming: Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. [presses the button as Shrek grabs him]
Shrek: Where's Fiona?
Prince Charming: Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now. [grins evilly] [The guards burst in and holds Artie hostage. Shrek puts him down] [walking up to Artie] Let me guess. Arthur.
Artie: [facing him] It's "Artie" (for short), actually. (Don't ask.)
Prince Charming: This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? [laughs and held the dagger to Artie's throat] How pathetic. Stand still so I won't make a mess.
Shrek: Charming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. This isn't about him.
Artie: Then who's this about? I'm supposed to be king, right?
Shrek: You weren't really next in line for the throne, I was.
Artie: But you said the king asked for me personally.
Shrek: Not exactly.
Artie: What does that mean?
Shrek: I said whatever I had to say, alright? I wasn't right for the job, I just needed some fool to replace me, and you fit the bill, so just go!
Artie: [hurt and angry] You were playing me the whole time.
Shrek: You catch on real fast, kid. Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. [Donkey (in Puss' body) tries to reason with Artie, but Puss (in Donkey's body) stopped him]
Artie: You know, for a minute... I actually thought.
Prince Charming: What, that he cared about you? He's an ogre. What did you expect? [Artie breaks free from the guards and looks at Shrek before storming out the dressing room in anger. Shrek feels guilty] You really do have a way with children, Shrek. [The guards forced Shrek out of the room]

Donkey [in Puss' body]: Alright people, Let's do this thing. Go, Team Dynamite!
Pinocchio: But I thought we agreed we'd go by the name Team Super Cool.
Gingy: As I recall, it was Team Awesome!
Wolf: I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
Donkey [in Puss' body]: Alright, alright, alright! From henceforth, we shall be known as Team Alpha Super-Awesome-Cool Dynamite Wolf-Squadron.

[During the musical - "It's the Happily Ever After After All" after the song "Final Showdown"]
Shrek: I’m talking to you, Prince Charming! We do not like trying to kill me, Charming, or we'll tear you apart!
Prince Charming: [worried] W-W-W-We?
Shrek: That’s right. My friends!!
[Fiona, Puss, Donkey, Gingy, Pinocchio, Three Pigs, Wolf, The Three Mices, Dragon, Queen Lillian and princesses arrives the stage]

Headless Horseman: I’ve always wanted to play the flute.
Evil Queen: I’d like to open up a spa... in France!
Captain Hook: I grow daffodils, And they're beautiful!

Prince Charming: This was supposed to be my Happily Ever After!
Shrek: Well, I guess you need to keep looking... [looks at Fiona lovingly, then back at Charming] ‘cause I’m not giving up mine.

Puss: [talking to a female cat] It's out of my hands, señorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny, but I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. [Another female cat meowing. Very quickly] I gotta go.

Donkey: [normal voice] I'm me again!
Puss: [normal voice] And I'm not you.
Merlin: Oops. [realizes that Puss and Donkey's tails were swapped, then walks away] Ah, never mind.

Cast[edit]

Other characters[edit]

See also[edit]

Taglines[edit]

  • And They Lived Happily Never After.
  • He's In For The Royal Treatment.
  • The Wait Is Ogre.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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