ER (season 1)

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ER (1994–2009) is a long running medical drama, airing on NBC, that follows the lives of doctors and nurses in a Chicago emergency room.

24 Hours [1.1][edit]

Benton: Do you know how to start an IV?
Carter: Uh, actually, no.
Benton: I thought you were third year.
Carter: I am, but all I've done is dermatology and psychiatry.
Benton: The well-dressed specialties, huh?

Mark: See, there's two kinds of doctors. The kind that gets rid of their feelings. And the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to get sick from time to time. That's just how it works.

Mark: …by the way, I went to medical school with Dr. Benton. He used to get sick all the time. So, don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.

Susan: Mr. Parker, if there's one thing you learn in my job, it's that nothing is certain. Nothing that seems very bad and nothing that seems very good. Nothing is certain. Nothing.

Patient: Are you married?
Susan: No, I'm a doctor.

Day One [1.2][edit]

Benton: [Carter memorizes and gives him a H&P on a patient] Mother's maiden name?
[Carter looks at notes]
Haleh: He's joking.

Mark: [about Carol's suicide attempt] It's not your fault, Doug. You're going to have to forgive yourself sooner or later.

Doug: I thought you were some kind of saint. I was going to start calling you Mahatma.

Going Home [1.3][edit]

[Earlier in the show, Carol attempted suicide by overdosing on barbituates.]
Carol: I'm here to unload that new shipment of barbituates.
Susan: At least you didn't kill off your sense of humor.
Carol: No, just a few brain cells.

Hit and Run [1.4][edit]

Carter: You ever get used to this?
Benton: Used to what?
Carter: Going on three hours sleep.
Benton: Anything more than three hours and I'm sluggish all day.

Mark: I was embraced by two men today. I find that highly unusual.
Susan: Some guys have all the luck.

Walt: [to Benton] No, don't hand me that OR crap, already know how important your job is compared to the small events of my life.

Into that Good Night [1.5][edit]

Sam: How's your heart?
Mark: Pretty good shape.
Sam: Want to lend it to me for the weekend? Naw. You got better things to do with it. Do 'em all. You never know when you'll get the chance.

Carter: What's he doing?
Susan: Practicing one-handed knots. He'd do it with his teeth if he could.
Benton: No I wouldn't. You can't wear a glove on your teeth.

Sarah: My mom says my dad's gonna die.
Mark: Yes, he is.
Sarah: Why can't you fix him?
Mark: We can't fix everything.

Susan: At your age Ryan Sandberg was retired.
Doug: At my age Mozart was dead.

Chicago Heat [1.6][edit]

Mark: Jerry, if this guy's still here in the morning, why don't we get some shovels and bury him in the parking lot.

Rachel: Did you make him all better?
Benton: Who?
Rachel: The boy in the green room.
Benton: [to Mark] The gunshot victim.
Mark: They tried really hard, Rachel. But he died.
Rachel: Will his mommy be sad?
Mark: Very sad.
Rachel: [to Benton] Are you sad?
Benton: Yeah.
Rachel: If you're sad, why aren't you crying?
[Benton kneels beside Rachel.]
Benton: I am. [touches Rachel's heart.] Right here.

Rachel: If I got hurt, would you fix me?
Mark: Yes, I would.
Rachel: You wouldn't let me die?

Rachel: My daddy's your doctor.
Kanesha: He helped me be better.
Rachel: [whispers] That's what doctors do.

[A car has slammed through the ER doors.]
Doug: Jerry, call security. Somebody's in my parking space.

Another Perfect Day [1.7][edit]

Mark: We're going to have to do a lumbar puncture. You ever done one?
Carter: Uh no, but I've seen it done.
Mark: See One, Do One, Teach One.

9 1/2 Hours [1.8][edit]

Mae Benton : Carter? You got people in Tennessee?
Carter: On my father's side.
Mae Benton : I think his people owned our people.

ER Confidential [1.9][edit]

Doug: I'm not a grownup doctor.
Lydia: We all know that, but everyone else's busy.

Blizzard [1.10][edit]

[Carol is pushing a biker in a wheelchair.]
Carol: You know what we call motorcycles around here, Ace?
Patient: No. What?
Carol: Donor-cycles.
Patient: [laughs] Donor-cycles. I like that.
Carol: You would.

Morgenstern: How are we doing?
Doug: One step ahead of the Reaper.
Morgenstern: Thats all you can ask for.

The Gift [1.11][edit]

Carter: Oh God, I killed Santa.

Doug: [to Carol] Tell him that you don't love me. Tell him that you don't think about me when you're with him.

Happy New Years [1.12][edit]

Hicks: When I was a resident, I was always worried about getting people's approval, the attendings', the patients', maybe because I was a woman, a black woman. Life was a lot easier once I got over it. Don't let the patients get to you, Dr. Lewis. We treat them as soon as we can and there's no need to apologize for how long it takes. We are a busy hospital, not a restaurant.

Luck of the Draw [1.13][edit]

[Deb Chen is performing a rectal.]
Carter: How's it going in there, Deb?
Chen: I'm stuck.
Carter: Deb?
Chen: Yes?
Carter: Did you use a lubricant?
Chen: Was I supposed to?

Morgenstern: That's what I love about you, Peter: Naked ambition tempered by arrogance.

Haleh: [discussing Deb's examination of an unconscious Carter] The term isn't average male genitalia, it's normal male genitalia.

Doug: [talking about Linda Farrell] Serious? Our longest phone conversation is "Get over here."

Long Day's Journey [1.14][edit]

Diane: Dr. Ross...
Doug: Doug.
Diane: Before you try any harder, Cindy Sadwick is a very good friend of mine.
Doug: Mm-hmm. How is Cindy?
Diane: Well, she can't say your name without adding a few words I don't want my son to hear.
Doug: Tell her I said "hello."

February Fifth, 1995 [1.15][edit]

Carter: You ever put in a foley?
[Deb shakes her head.]
Carter: You're in for a treat.

Mark: [in a noisy helicopter] Hell of a life isn't it?
Paramedic: What?
Mark: Its a hell of a life.
[The paramedic points to his ear.]
Mark: I said, I want to have sex with your wife.
[The paramedic gives a thumbs up.]

Make of Two Hearts [1.16][edit]

Chen (to Carter): You know, it was pretty cool the way you were giving it mouth-to-mouth.
Carter: Yeah? Thank you.
Chen: You know, they say the dog's mouth is the cleanest part of its body.
Carter: What do they say about its nose?

The Birthday Party [1.17][edit]

Carter: I had a question about next year's Trauma Sub-I.
Benton: What about it?
Carter: Well, I understand that 12 students have alreay applied, and I was wondering... if I was interested, if you can tell me what my chances would be.
Benton: Twelve people have applied, right?
Carter: Right. Yeah, with me, it'd thirteen.
Benton: Then, I'd say your chances are one in thirteen. (he walks away)
Mark: You walked into that one.
Carter: Yeah...

Sleepless in Chicago [1.18][edit]

Ross (to Carol): So, I hear you're fostering Tatiana.
Carol: You gonna try and talk me out of it like everyone else?
Ross: No, I think it's a wonderful thing what you're doing.
Carol: Really?
Ross: Absolutely. I always said you'd make a great mother.
Benton: Carter, you are wasting your time. You don't think like a surgeon.
Carter: Why, because I don't think like you?

Love's Labor Lost [1.19][edit]

Mark: How do I deliver this baby?
Susan: Are you asking me?
Mark: No, I'm asking God.

Full Moon, Saturday Night [1.20][edit]

Jenn: People die, Mark. You do the best you can. You're human.
Mark: I'm not supposed to be.
Jenn: Sure you are. You're the only one who doesn't know it.
Carol: Hey, every full moon should be lady's night.
Susan: Yeah, we were terrific.
Carol: Like Thelma and Louise, man.
Susan: More like Lucy and Ethel.
Susan: Ah, midnight, the witching hour. Let's make room for the punks, skunks and drunks.

House of Cards [1.21][edit]

Mrs. Benton: Your skills and talents are God's gift to you. What you do with them is your gift back to God.
Chloe (to Susan): I don't want to give you any trouble.
Susan: Yeah, right.
Chloe: Ronnie sold my stuff.
Susan: (sarcastically) You're kidding. I'm shocked!
Chloe: You were so right about him. Actually, you were right about all of them.
Susan: Yeah, well... They're basically the same person.

Men Plan, God Laughs [1.22][edit]

Chloe: I'm gonna be somebody's mother.
Susan: If Mom can do it, you can.
Chloe: At least I didn't drink sangria all day.
Susan: Or smoke four packs of Luckys. (pause) And we turned out okay.
Chloe: And Mom didn't have you to help her.
Susan: Why do nurses wear colors and doctors wear white?
Carol: Because doctors are pure and good.
Doug: Does that include me?
Carol: No.

Love Among the Ruins [1.23][edit]

Jerry: I'm going to play Romeo.
Lydia: Comic version?
Jerry: No.
Lydia: Oh.

[Haleh walks over with two guys, one had an orange pool ball and the other had a red pool ball stuffed into their mouths.]
Haleh: Apparently this one did it on a dare, when the paramedics asked what happened this one reenacted the crime.
Jerry: Do we have names?
Haleh: Yeah dumb, and dumber.

Motherhood [1.24][edit]

Susan: Never thought I'd deliver my own niece.
Carol: On Mother's Day no less.
Susan (to Carol): Where're you going on your honeymoon?
Carol: Tag's going to Paris. I'm going to Hawaii.
Susan: Can I go with you?
Carol: Sure. You can leave Chloe and the baby with his 15 cousins.
Susan: Good. Thanks.
Carol: I might stay.
Susan: In Hawaii?
Carol: Yeah.
Susan: Okay. I can do that. Do you think Tag will mind?
Carol: He'll get over it. You don't think Chloe will mind?
Susan: I don't think Chloe will notice.
Carol: You think anyone noticed we're gone?
Susan: Probably. You think we should head back?
Carol: Probably.

Everything Old is New Again [1.25][edit]

Carol: What's wrong with me? Why can't I fall in love with a nice guy? Someone who loves me, who wants to be with me, who is honest and decent?
Doug: Mmm... And boring.
Carol: God, he was dull!
(They both laugh)
Carol (to her guests at the wedding): I don't know what to say. I don't know what the future holds. But I guess I'm just lucky to be alive and have so many good friends who care for me. It's been a wonderful year because of all of you.