Friends (season 6)

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Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Main

The following is a list of quotes from the sixth season of Friends.

The One After Vegas [6.01][edit]

Rachel: Hey, you guys wanna go see a movie?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: How about you, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, thanks, I've already seen one.

Ross: Wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe: Always!
Ross: Rachel and me are still married.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I didn't get the annulment. We're still married. Don't tell Rachel. Okay, see you later...

The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel [6.02][edit]

Ross: I just don't want my tombstone to read, "Ross Geller: three divorces!."
Phoebe: Don't feel worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, "Ross Geller: Good at marriage!" Y'know? Mine's going to say "Phoebe Buffay: Buried Alive."

Ross: We were drunk! I would've married Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!

The One with Ross's Denial [6.03][edit]

Joey: Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies. And you know about Naked Thursdays, right?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah. I think I'm gonna find my own place.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing, man!

Joey: Thanks for coming back. Okay, there's been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists.
Potential roommate: Great!
Joey: Okay, now before I make my decision, I just want to make sure our personalities match, okay? So I made up a little test. Now, I'm gonna say a word, and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Potential roommate: I can do that.
Joey: Okay, here we go. Pillow.
Potential roommate: Fight!
Joey: Very good. Okay, G.
Potential roommate: String?
Joey: Excellent. Okay, um, doggy.
Potential roommate: Kitten?
Joey: Ooh, sorry. [sends her out the door] So close though, bye-bye!

The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance [6.04][edit]

Joey: Probably a residual cheque. Can you open it? I got... [shows his hands tied with string]
Chandler: Benefits lapsed.
Joey: That's weird. I don't remember being in a movie called "Benefits Lapsed."
Chandler: [chuckles] It's not a cheque. They are saying your health insurance expired cause... you didn't work enough last year.
Joey: What? Let me see that. Oh no! This sucks. When I had health insurance I could... catch on fire, you know or get hit by a bus. Now I gotta be careful?
Chandler: I know what you mean, man, there's never a good time to stop... catching on fire.
Joey: Well, I guess I am gonna go get a job, I'll see ya later.
Chandler: Ok, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
Joey: [mocking] Make sure you look both ways before you cross the street. [turns and walks into the door]

Phoebe: So, my reading was wrong - I'm not gonna die!
Monica: How do you know?
Phoebe: Because my psychic's dead! She must have read it wrong.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Hey, better her than me. Ooh! Let's bake cookies!

The One with Joey's Porsche [6.05][edit]

Monica: I wonder what age it is that you stop being able to put both legs behind your head.
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Monica: How are you still single?

Joey: Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche?
Passer-by: Maybe because you've got the keys?

The One on the Last Night [6.06][edit]

Chandler: Here is the phone bill.
Joey: Oh, my...!
Chandler: That's our phone number.

Joey: Here it is-our last pizzas together as roommates.
Chandler: I wish I'd known you were going to do that. I ordered Chinese.
Joey: Oh, well, that's okay. Hey, actually, in a way it's kinda nice. You know, our last dinner together. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors; you, the food of yours.

The One Where Phoebe Runs [6.07][edit]

Ross: I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there will be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically, you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and live forever as a machine!
Chandler: And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.

Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Joey: Of course I did.
Monica: What exactly did you ask her?
Joey: "When can you move in?"

Phoebe: Me, I'm more free. You know, I run like I did when I was a kid because that's the only way it's fun. You know? I mean, didn't you even run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? You know, like when you were running towards the swings, or running away from Satan?
[Rachel looks confused.]
Phoebe: The neighbor's dog.

Rachel: Honey, that's a great idea nailing your boxes to the floor!
Chandler: I didn't nail my boxes to the floor.
Rachel: Oh so you can move them !

The One with Ross's Teeth [6.08][edit]

Chandler: [offering Joey a game of Playstation] Hi, my name's Chandler! I just moved in next door, and I was wondering if you'd be interested in battling me in a post-apocalyptic world for control of the galaxy's last remaining energy source.
Joey: Sure.

Rachel:[Referring to her boss Kim] She doesn't like me very much.
Chandler: That's great. Because my boss doesn't like me either.
Rachel: My boss doesn't like me either.
Ross: Maybe it's like a universal thing.
Joey: Or maybe because you're all hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday.
All others: [In chorus] Let's get off to work...

The One Where Ross Got High [6.09][edit]

Joey: You're gonna cook something?
Rachel: Hey, I cook!
Chandler: Offering people gum is not cooking.

[On tasting Rachel's English trifle/Shepherd's pie]
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Joey: I like it!
Ross: Are you serious?
Joey: What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, GOOD!

The One with the Routine [6.10][edit]

Ross: And that's the story of the dreidel. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolizing life's triumph over death. And that was, like, four thousand years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.

Rachel: That's a great story, grandpa!

The One with the Apothecary Table [6.11][edit]

Phoebe: [to Ross] You bought your sheets at a flea market? Come on, Ross, you gotta loosen the pursestrings a little!

Rachel: OK, fine! I’ll just tell Phoebe it’s an antique apothecary table, she doesn’t have to know where it came from. Oh, look at this! Little drawers! Oh look, look, it says that it holds... three hundred CDs!
Chandler: Ahhh, just like the apothecary tables of yore.

Monica: [to Janine] You know, you're not so quiet yourself, missy!
Chandler: [to Janine] And I'm blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it! [in a bad Australian accent] "Oh, Chandler, I just lost myself in the movement!"

The One with the Joke [6.12][edit]

Phoebe: I didn't know Playboy prints jokes.
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures!
Monica: It didn't work on Mom. It's not going to work on us.
[Joey walks in]
Ross: Hey, Joey, look — Playboy printed my joke!
Joey: [Joey reads it and makes a slight chuckle] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jokes? But... You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?

The One with Rachel's Sister [6.13][edit]

Joey: Altogether, it's $12.75.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldn't split our $80 phone bill in half.

[Rachel introduces her sister to everyone.]
Rachel: That's Joey.
Joey: How you doin'?
Rachel: DON'T!!!!!

Rachel: Honey ! What did you do that bad that make dad cut you off?
Jill: Okay.. I bought a boat.
Phoebe: You bought a boat ?
Jill: Yeah. It wasn't for me. It was for a friend.
Chandler: Boy, did we make friends with the wrong sister!

Phoebe: Seriously, Rachel's not gonna think it's a good idea.
Jill: So who made her Queen of the World ?
Phoebe: I would love that job.

The One Where Chandler Can't Cry [6.14][edit]

Joey: I can't believe Ross went out with Rachel's sister! When Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for ten years.
Chandler: That was, like, five years ago.
Joey: Yeah, you got five years left!
Chandler: Joey —
Joey: You wanna make it six?

[While watching Phoebe's porn video]
Joey: You sick bastards.
Rachel: It's a tattoo. That's weird, Pheebs...wait, that's Ursula! That's not Phoebe, that's Ursula!
[Joey turns to watch the tape.]
Joey: Wait! Wait! Then I can watch that. Rewind it! Rewind it!
[Phoebe arrives.]
Phoebe: Hey, what's up? Oh, my...! What am I doing?!

[In reference to Phoebe doing porn.]
Rachel: Well, I guess it makes sense, you know, having such a terrible childhood.
Chandler: I had a terrible childhood and I don't do porn.
Rachel: Yes, but you're dead inside.

The One Where It Could Have Been, Part 1 [6.15][edit]

Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce.

Joey: [Looking at Ross] What is the matter with you?!

Phoebe: No, Barry and Mindy.

Joey: Oh, sorry. I hear "divorce," I immediately go to Ross.

Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die!
[Phoebe stares at him angrily.]
Chandler: But you're not gonna die... I mean... you — you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today... I wish I was dead.

The One Where It Could Have Been, Part 2 [6.16][edit]

Chandler: [imitating Roger] "Here's some little-known facts about couscous: they didn't add the second cous until 1979."

Ross: Sorry your husband cheated on you.
Rachel: And I'm sorry your wife is gay. I guess women ain't that great either, huh?
Ross: Try telling my wife that.

Phoebe: [singing]
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see,
One of them won't do it but the second will set you free.
Tell all your hate and anger, It's time to say goodbye.
And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I worked for die!

Joey: Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Chandler: [mockingly] Yeah. So, Tuesday?
Joey: Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering, think of it like this: the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?
Chandler: Thank you.

The One with Joey's Fridge [6.19][edit]

Chandler: You don't look good, Joe.
Joey: The fridge broke, so I had to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Oh, and what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not any more. By the way, you owe me $400.
Chandler: Is this a service you're providing me?

[Phoebe shows what her guy has for Rachel]:
Phoebe: And he has one of these. [Phoebe imitates a chin dimple]
Chandler: A face ass?

Rachel: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Chandler: Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll Ups?

The One with Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. [6.20][edit]

Joey: If I don't get this part, I'm never gonna eat macaroni and cheese again.. [After a second] I didn't say that.. That doesn't count.

Rachel: Aren't you dressed yet?
Chandler: Am I naked again?

[While playing Foosball]
Joey: How cool it would be, If you could watch a life size version of this ? How crazy would that be?
Chandler: As crazy as Soccer?

Joey: I have answering machine..
Chandler: Which I bought for you.. Taught how to use it.. You thought it was a copier...

The One with the Ring [6.23][edit]

Rachel: I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Phoebe: That's easy! You just have to think of him as a — as a jar of pickles that won't open.
Rachel: So, what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Phoebe: No, that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.

Monica: I know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Rachel: What's the other one?
Monica: I don't know. I've never had to use the other one.

Ross: Hey, when we were married, you know what I never got? Uh, sex.
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, no ring, no sex- big surprise.
Phoebe: Get me a musket and we'll talk.

The One with the Proposal, Part 2 [6.25][edit]

Rachel: [referring to Ross' relationship with the much younger Elizabeth] Now, all jokes aside. Ross, where is this relationship going?
Chandler: Wait a minute. All jokes aside? I didn't agree to that.

Chandler: [to Ross] I mean, if you're not careful, you may not get married at all this year.

Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Chandler: Oh my...
Monica: Chandler... in all my life I never thought I'd be so lucky as to fall in love with my best — my best — There's a reason why girls don't do this!
Chandler: Okay, okay, I'll do it. I thought: wait, I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that is that you — you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes! I knew you were likely to take a wife!
Joey: [from outside] Can we come in yet? We're dying out here!
Monica: Come in! Come in! [Joey, Rachel and Phoebe enter] We're engaged!
Joey: Yeah, you are!