Murder, She Wrote (season 5)

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Murder, She Wrote (1984–1996) is an American television show, airing on CBS, about mystery writer and amateur detective Jessica Fletcher.

J.B. as in Jailbird [5.1]

Veronica: I had you figured for shoplifting or maybe kiting checks. But murder? Jessica, I knew you had class.

A Little Night Work [5.2]

NYPD Lt. Bert Alffano: Look, lady, it's not much of a career, but it's the only one I got, and the last cop who bumped heads against City Hall is patrolling junkyards in Astoria.

Jessica: And if it comes out that you are protecting a killer, where do you think you will end up?

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Miles Hatcher: [after Jessica exposes him as the murderer] I'd gone up there to beg him not to pull out of our business deal. He laughed at me. I had a gun, but he knew I wouldn't dare use it. Someone was sure to hear the shot. Then suddenly, I found my hands around his throat. I knew Marta would be returning any minute. I had to get rid of the body. There was a laundry cart right outside the door. I put him in it. I covered him with sheets. I had to pray nobody would find him until morning. I took the necklace, hoping to make it look like a robbery. I was already halfway down the staircase when I noticed my flower mangled.

Mr. Penroy's Vacation [5.3]

Sheriff Mort Metzger: I've had years of experience dealing with slimeballs like them. Faced with a murder-one rap, they'll cough up the location of that money like a baby with the colic.

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Marilee Colson: [after Jessica accuses her of committing the murder] Being married to Cliff was like being on a burning roller coaster. He was up, was down. He was always in trouble with the law. And when he finally made his one big, beautiful score, he left me. The money was my only hope. I wasn't about to let him get away with that. You understand, don't you?

Snow White, Blood Red [5.4]

Dr. Lewis: This is absurd, Mrs. Fletcher. I am not a coroner, I'm a gynecologist.

Jessica: I'm afraid, Doctor, that necessity creates strange bedfellows.

Wearing of the Green [5.6]

Andrea Dean: [after Jessica accuses her of committing the murder] A couple of weeks ago, Laszlo called me and asked me to make a copy of the Queen of Tara. He said he wanted to bring happiness to a woman who had known nothing but misery for the past twelve years. He paid me $2,000 for my trouble. I used inferior gems from the vault. He said, "Oh, it didn't matter. She would never know the difference." And then when I heard about the robbery on the news the other night, I knew Laszlo was responsible. He got home only a moment or two after I got there, and he invited me in. As soon as I got inside, I saw the tiara. I demanded to know what was going on. Where was the copy? What had he gotten me into? But then there was a knock at the door, and I ... I panicked. I grabbed the tiara, and I ducked into the bedroom. It was that TV news reporter. I recognized him immediately. He wanted to come in but, but Laszlo got rid of him. All I wanted to do was to get out of there, but he grabbed me. He wouldn't let me go. He was in a rage. He hit me! I was terrified for my life! I grabbed the knife. I didn't ... I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted to return the tiara. But then, when he was dead, I knew no one would believe my story.

From Russia...with Blood [5.14]

Minister Melnikov: [after Jessica accuses him of committing the murder] I warn you, gentlemen, I have good friends on the Central Committee. One telephone call.

Inspector Bernicker: Before you are making one telephone call, perhaps you would like to read this. [hands Melnikov an envelope] It's all very carefully documented on the microfilm. Anton's memoirs in code, names and dates. They tell of a young Russian officer, Melnikov, who collaborated with the Nazis.

Minister Melnikov: Anton knew everything. We were young soldiers together in Leningrad at the time of the siege. He suffered most cruelly. But I was able to ensure my survival. Then, after the war, Anton was unable to publish his books. He came to me. I was rising in the ministry, and I was able to find him jobs so that at least he could feed his family. He kept silent in exchange for a lifetime of protection. His and mine. And then, when he was dying, I suppose he decided that he must free his tortured soul.

Truck Stop [5.16]

Terence Locke: [while preparing to leave the truck stop with Jessica and Flora Gerakaris] What about you, Mr. Desmond? We're heading into L.A.

Desmond: That's very kind of you, but I'm afraid I've already been to Los Angeles. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that one should never look back.

The Sins of Castle Cove [5.17]

Miriam Harwood: The only books I ever read are romantic novels with happy endings.

Phyllis Grant: I like realism. Lots of tall, attractive, single men fighting over one mature working lady.

Ideal Molloy: Well, I always look at the cover, and if the man is bare-chested and the woman isn't, I buy it.

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Ellis Holgate [after Jessica and Seth accuse him of committing the murder] The killer in the book made one little mistake. I thought if I avoided that mistake, it would be the perfect crime. So I made another one. Wasn't that stupid? She should have loved me! I loved her so much!

Trevor Hudson's Legacy [5.18]

Cat Hudson-Drake: [after being exposed as a conspirator in the murder] Bob was in the office workin' on the galleys. Hank had the key. I gave it to him. He got into the house and went into the office through the door from the foyer. Bob asked him to leave. Hank argued with him. And then Hank took the rifle from the rack. After he struck Bob, he took the gold medallion from the desk and then opened a desk drawer. He knew exactly what to take from the files in the desk. After that, he let himself out the French doors and broke the glass from the outside to make it look like some burglar had forced his way in. He made me help him. There wasn't anything I could do. That's not true. I was afraid. I was afraid just like the rest of them. Afraid that Bob was gonna spoil everything. Hank knew that I spent a couple hours with Adam in a motel off an interstate. Hell, Hank knew everything that went on around here. He took me aside and said that we needed to get rid of Bob before he smeared my grandfather's reputation. But he needed someone to pin it on. Otherwise, everybody would know it was one of us. He said he needed me to help him frame Adam. Look, I just wanted that part in the movie. Don't you understand? The lead in the biggest movie of the year. I mean, no more R-rated cheapies, no more crummy television movies. Was that so wrong?

Three Strikes, You're Out [5.20]

Al Sidell: [after Jessica accuses him of committing the murder] You gotta believe me, the both of you. Killing that woman was the furthest thing from my mind. I was in my motel room around 10:30 when Loretta phoned. She asked me if Freddie Masters was in my room. She said he wasn't at the inn, and she knew that he was my client, and I said I didn't know any Freddie Masters. And she said she wanted me to corroborate some evidence that she had that proved that Charley Holcombe and Freddie Masters were the same person, and Freddie Masters was a known bail jumper. I said I would come right over and prove just how wrong she was. But when I got there, she said she had a friend who was no longer an active player, who had played in rookie league with Charley, and he swore that Charley and Freddie were the same person. She was some piece of work, that woman. She said that her going public with it, it wouldn't hurt my career or Charley's career. She thought it would just help her career. She thought she might go to the networks, or even go to the commissioner. She went to the phone, and I guess I went nuts. I don't know. And, uh, I picked up my glasses, and I tried to make it look like a robbery. And, uh, I drove back to the motel. I was blind as a bat without the glasses. Funny thing is, I almost made it. This is the first time I've ever been in trouble. I never even had a parking ticket. That was the first time I ever had any trouble with the police.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Part 1 [5.21]

Jessica: I've got a lot of obligations.

Dr. Seth Hazlitt: To whom, Jess? Now, a few years back, you needed this writing to help you get through the empty days and lonely nights. I know that. I went through it myself. But Frank's a long time gone now, just like my Ruth. And another best seller, or ten best sellers, are not going to fill that void.

Jessica: Seth, I know that.

Hazlitt: Maybe yes and maybe no. All I know is that if Frank Fletcher were still around, you wouldn't be spending half your life chained to that typewriter and the other half chasing around the country. No, sir. You'd be out smelling the salt air at sunrise.