Regular Show (season 4)
The following is a list of quotes from the fourth season of Regular Show.
Exit 9B [4.01-4.02]
(After Thomas fetches the coffee for Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr., he yells at him)
- Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.: Thomas, stop thinking about things and bring us the coffee already! (to Garrett Bobby Ferguson) Kid's worthless am I right?
(Thomas yells and throws coffee at Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.'s face. Enraged, he kicks Thomas off the freeway)
- Park workers and Gary: Thomas!!
(As Thomas falls to the ground, Gary's car swoops off after him, with Benson and Rigby still on the back. Pops, Skips and Mordecai watch over the edge.)
- GBF Jr: Hmm, alright, gather round, gather round now. (The villains gather.) We'll just tear this thing up and get this war back on. MINIONS! BEHOLD! (GBF Jr holds up a crude drawing of him, thinking it's the contract.)
- Blonde Man: Uh, is that a drawing of you with a butt for a face??
- GBF Jr: Huh?! A fake?! Mordecai: Hey, losers!
(The car floats up from below the freeway. Thomas is clinging from the edge of the trunk.)
- Rigby: Should have checked the fine print when we switched the contract in front of yo' face! know what I'm sayin'?
- GBF Jr and GBF Sr: NO!!!!!! (Thomas signs the last missing spot and the paper glows yellow around his name. The contract takes off into mid air and flies to the portal, closing it. The freeway begins to crumble and crack as the villains fly back to where they came from, followed closely by the bits of destroyed freeway and - unless they can hold on, the park workers, too. The GBFs stand on the last remaining piece of freeway as terror reigns around them.)
- GBF Sr: Junior! You just broke the universe record for disappointing your father! AUUUUUGH! (explodes)
- GBF Jr: (falls to his knees) NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Starter Pack [4.03]
- Muscle Man: THOMAS DID THIS!?
Terror Tales of the Park II [4.04-4.05]
- Margaret: Hey! He's passing a movie theatre, Driver, Stop the bus! Let us off, Stop the bus!
- Margaret: Ugh!, Mordecai the bus isn't stopping!
- Mordecai: You don't looks so good man.
- Rigby: Yeah, How long get been here?
- Margaret: [elder voice] Why did you put it in reverse?
- Mordecai: [elder voice] It was the only thing I could think of!
- Rigby: [He looks at his hands, returning to the gang's real age] Guys, look!
- Margaret: We're getting younger!
- [But the de-aging doesn't stop, since the bus is still in motion. The gang starts shrinking, turning them younger until they're kids again]
- Mordecai: [younger voice] We gotta get off this bus!
- Eileen: [younger voice] Guys look, an emergency hatch!
- [Eileen points at a hatch in the roof]
- Mordecai: [younger voice] Come on, everybody up!
- [Rigby opens the hatch. Mordecai lifts everyone on top of the bus, but when Mordecai finally gets out, he notices they all have turned into babies]
- Rigby/Margaret/Eileen: [younger voice] Now what?
- Mordecai: [younger voice] We gotta jump! [The gang holds each other's hands, and then they all jump off of the bus, giggling] We did it! We got off the party bus.
- Mordecai/Rigby/Margaret/Eileen: [younger voice] OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- [They all pop out of existence]
- Mordecai: Aw, man! We didn't survive the crash!
- Rigby: I guess not.
- Benson: (Turns red) UNBELIEVABLE!!!! RIGBY, YOU'RE FIRED!!!
- Rigby: You can't fire me, I'm dead! Whoo! Party!
Pie Contest [4.06]
- Benson: Mordecai! Rigby!
- Mordecai: Whoa, Benson, we're sorry!
- Rigby: At least we didn't give up, right?
- Benson: UNBELIEVABLE!
- Mordecai: Look, we judged the pie contest.
- Rigby: You're just mad we didn't quit and now you can't fire us.
- Benson: Oh, can't I?
- Mordecai & Rigby: No, you can't.
- Benson: Yeah, I guess you're right. (Gives M&R the shovels) Clean up this MESS or you're fired!
150 Piece Kit [4.07]
Bald Spot [4.08]
- Rigby: Whoa. I didn't know you were bald. (Muscle Man cries out in agony, rolls off.)
- Mordecai: Uh, see you tonight.
Guy's Night [4.09]
One Pull Up [4.10]
The Christmas Special [4.11-4.12]
- (Quillgin gets up from the bridge and looks at the other side, angrily)
- Quillgin: NOOOOOO!!!!!
T.G.I. Tuesday [4.13]
Firework Run [4.14]
- [Benson just arrived witnessing all Fourth of July fireworks blow up and confronts the group in a rage fit]
- Benson: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!
- Muscle Man: We were just—
- Benson: WHY WOULD YOU LIGHT OFF ALL THE FIREWORKS BEFORE THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE YEAR?!!!
- Muscle Man: Just hang on now, Benson! I know this looks bad, but I can fix it!
- Benson: Fix it?! Fix WHAT?!! YOU JUST RUINED THE 4TH OF JULY!!!!
- Muscle Man: I know! I know! Just hear me out! I know a guy who's got the hookup on cheap fireworks.
- Benson: I DON'T WANT CHEAP FIREWORKS!!!! THAT STUFF YOU JUST BLEW UP WAS TOP OF THE LINE!!!
- Muscle Man: Benson, trust me. This guy's stuff is quality. I'll pay for it out of my own pocket!
- Benson: Alright, fine! But if you guys aren't back before the show starts at sundown, YOU'RE FIRED!!!
- Benson: This wasn't the deal! You 2 were supposed to replace the ones that you set off this morning. That's it, I'm CALLING IT OFF! You guys are all fired!
- Benson: Allright, you guys. Somehow, you managed to top last year's firework show, so I guess I'm not gonna fire you.
- All 4: Yeah! / Alright!
- Benson: In fact, I'm putting you four in charge of a very special job.
- Rigby: Oh, cool! What special job?
- Benson: REPLACING THE THREE FOOTBALL FIELDS WORTH OF GRASS YOU JUST BURNT!!!!
- [he and Skips leave. Muscle Man turns to the group]
- Muscle Man: Don't worry. I know a guy who's got the hookup on real cheap sod.
The Longest Weekend [4.15]
- Rigby: This movie sucks. It's called "The Longest Weekend", but I thought it was going to be a party.
- Muscle Man: Oh, man. [picks up the phone] Starla would love this! [remembers he can't contact her and hangs up] Relax, Muscle Man. You gotta give your lady her space. [takes out a van magazine to read, a lady on one turns into Starla]
- Van magazine Starla: Mitch, why aren’t you calling to tell me about this?
- Muscle Man: [screams and tosses the magazine] Get it together, man! Get it together. [picks up a bag from Wing Kingdom; takes a tray of chicken wings out and dips one in sauce] Huh?
- Chicken wing Starla: I miss you, Mitch.
- [Muscle Man screams horrifyingly and tosses the wing to a mop water puddle which turns into Starla’s face]
- Mop water Starla: Are you trying to ignore me?!
- Muscle Man: NO!
- Watermelon Starla: Oh, really? Then why haven’t you called?
- Muscle Man: But you said if I did, we'd have to break up! [looks out his window]
- Cloud Starla: Mitch. I didn’t mean it.
- Lamp Starla: Call me.
- Bowling ball Starla: Just pick up the phone.
- Starla’s voice: Mitch, I miss you.
- [Muscle Man freaks out and runs out of his trailer, screaming]
- Mordecai: Muscle Man, don't do it! She'll break up with you!
- Margaret: 30 more seconds!
- Mordecai: You promised her you'd wait!
- Muscle Man: I've waited long enough! I don't wanna wait anymore! And I bet Starla doesn't wanna wait anymore either! STARLA!!! (glows brighter)
- Starla: MITCH!!! (also glows brighter)
- Mordecai: We probably shouldn't invite them to the movies anymore.
- Margaret: Good idea.
Sandwich of Death [4.16]
- Mordecai: Whoa. Benson, are you okay?
- Rigby: It really is a Death Sandwich!
- Benson: [choking] Death Sandwich?! Why would you buy something that kills people?!
- Rigby: Why would you eat somebody’s sandwich?!
- Mordecai: Come on guys, this is serious. We gotta get Benson a cure from the Death Sandwich before it’s too late.
Ace Balthazar Lives [4.17]
Do or Diaper [4.18]
- Benson: You guys have all your assignments for today. Oh, and don't forget that tonight is Game Night.
- Mordecai: Aw, yeah! Game Night!
- Rigby: What are we playing?
- Benson: Yeah, Skips. What are we playing?
- Skips: Tonight, we will be playing Drawsome.
- Muscle Man: Alright. I love me some Drawsome. Who else is showing up to this Drawsome event?
- Skips: I got a giant baby, Gary, and my cousin Quips.
- All: Ugh!
- Skips: What?
- Mordecai: Your cousin Quips is annoying.
- Rigby: Yeah, man. He's always telling lame jokes.
- Skips: What are you guys talking about?
- Mordecai: Come on. Every other word out of that guy's mouth is some annoying joke.
- Rigby: Yeah. Some joke that isn't funny.
- Skips: Come on, guys! His jokes aren't that bad.
- Quips: And then he said, "Yes, I do!" (laughs) Alright, seriously, last one, 'cause I got to go. What? Hey, wait! I didn't even get to finish my punchline! Aw, well. He's probably already heard my routine. Heeey, who's ready for some funny?
- All: Ugh!
- Skips: You guys all remember my cousin Quips.
- All: Hey, Quips.
- Quips: Hey, Benson. Nice to see ya. Speaking of "see ya", what did one ocean say to the other ocean? "Sea ya later!" (laughs)
- Benson: I don't get it.
- Quips: Oh, well, an ocean is a body of water and the sea is also—
- Benson: I don't care.
- Quips: A little more care will give you a little more hair. Zingo!
- Benson: Ugh!
- Pops: Hello, Quips.
- Quips: Pops, looking good. In fact, you look amazing. Just a compliment. Don't get a big head. Oops! Too late! Zammo! And, of course, Muscle Man, you love the jokes. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay-gulls! (laughs) I got a whole bait about bodies of water. What? You say you want another one?
- Muscle Man: We didn't say anything.
- Quips: What did the lake say to the puddle?
- Skips: Come on, Quips. Let's get you unpacked. You probably want to lie down after your trip.
- Quips: Guess it's time to take this comedy show on the road. And by comedy show, I mean me! Zingo!
- Mordecai: Dude, he's even worse than last time.
- Rigby: Yeah, Skips. Tell your cousin that if he can't stop telling jokes, then he's gotta get out of here.
- Skips: I can't just do that! I invited him here. No one told you to get rid of your brother Don when he visited.
- Rigby: That's because everyone loved him! I tried to get rid of him!
- Skips: Ugh! Alright, fine. I'll tell him soon.
- Quips: Wow, guys. Those coughs sound pretty serious. You guys should see a doctor. Oh, that reminds me. Why did the clown go to the doctor? He was feeling a little funny!
- Benson: Who is that?
- Mordecai: He's our new friend. Dancing caveman.
- Benson: Caveman? No, no. No way. I'm not having a caveman at the park. We aren't insured for it.
- Mordecai: What?! That's not fair!
- Rigby: Yeah, we can't just get rid of him!
- Benson: A caveman cannot fit into this modern world.
- [Caveman squeezes a ketchup bottle and mustard bottle into his mouth and he throw the bottles at Benson, who blocks them with the clipboard]
- Benson: See?!
- Mordecai: But he's one of us now!
- Benson: Really? What's his name?
- Mordecai & Rigby: Uh...
- Benson: Get rid of him!
- Rigby: But he'll die out there alone! Come on, Benson.
- Mordecai & Rigby: Please?
- Caveman: Ben... son?
- Benson: ...Fine. You have a week to get him civilized.
- Mordecai & Rigby: Nice!
- Mordecai: Thanks, Benson.
- Benson: But if he isn't up to park standards in a week, I'm calling the pound!! [leaves]
- Mordecai: We're gonna need some help.
- Mordecai & Rigby: Benson!
- Benson: I saw everything. I had Greg all wrong! He gave it all up for true love. In a way, he was more civilized than all of us! Mordecai, Rigby, clean up this mess. Do it. (about to cry) Do it or you're fired!
That's My Television [4.21]
A Bunch of Full Grown Geese [4.22]
- Mordecai, Rigby and Pops: Hoagie Sandwich! Hoagie Sandwich!
- Mordecai: Squeeze out the Mustard, do it real quick!
- Rigby: A dab of Mayo, too much'd be sick!
- Pops: Healthy veggies'll make this valid!
- Rigby: And don't forget the main ingredients so we don't confuse it with a salad!
- Mordecai, Rigby and Pops: Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat!
- A group of four fully grown Canadian Geese show up on the bridge. The Geese start attacking the lakeside, starting by scaring a couple away, pushing a squirrel off the bridge, and even dropping a giant rock on a paddle boat with a couple in it, breaking it and sending the couple into the lake. Two of the geese chest pound each other.
- Pops: Those ruffians!! (Gets up and runs to the geese) Now see here, geese!! Your behavior is most uncouth! Now, I'm afraid- (Geese start pushing him around) Ahhhh! (runs away, sobbing)
- Rigby: Hey, quit it! (The geese stare at the sandwich and Rigby realizes it.) PROTECT THE SANDWICH!
- (The geese attack it and throw it in the trash can as Rigby jumps into Mordecai's arms.)
- Rigby: (Sobbing) WHYYY?
- (The geese start punching the trash can, smashing it in the process, and rolls the trash can towards the three where it may have hit another trash can, sending some garbage flying in the air.)
- Mordecai: Benson, something's gotta be done about those geese! Pops is locked in his room crying!
- Benson: Yeah, we've been getting complaints. They're highly territorial war-like birds. Luckily, I got a couple guys who'll be takin' care of the problem.
- Both: Dude, awesome!
- Rigby: Who is it?
- Benson: Couple of guys named Mordecai and Rigby.
- Both: What?!!
- Mordecai: Maybe you don't understand, Benson, these geese — they're terrifying.
- Rigby: Terrifying!
- Benson: I don't wanna hear it! DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!!
- Rigby: Man, you always say that! You're all talk, Benson.
- Benson: HGNNN RAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
- Both: WAHHH!!!
Fool Me Twice [4.23]
Limousine Lunchtime [4.24]
- Benson: All right, Mr. Maellard gets back from vacation today, so I need you guys to clean the limousine.
- Rigby: Why don't we just wait till it rains? That's how I clean myself.
- Benson: [beat] I want it looking as good as new when he comes back this afternoon. That means washed, waxed and detailed, got it?
- Rigby: Yeah, yeah, we got it.
- Mordecai: So where are the keys?
- Benson: Oh, you mean these keys?
- Mordecai: Yeah.
- Benson: Oh, no. I'll be holding on to these.
- Rigby: Aw, what? How're we gonna listen to the radio then?
- Benson: Your job isn't listening to the radio, it's to clean the car. Do it before Mr. Maellard gets back or you're fired! [leaves]
- Rigby: Great, no radio. This is gonna be so BOORRIIIIING!!!
Picking up Margaret [4.25]
- Mordecai: Uh... (Margaret turns) Nothing. Sorry. See you. (Margaret sighs and kisses Mordecai)
- Margaret: See you soon.
- Mordecai: Uh...bye. (leaves, starts dancing, then sees Benson's car being towed)
- Margaret: Wait, are you sure you want to give me a ride and not because you bet someone you could or-
- Mordecai: What? (scoffs) Come on, when have I- (points at Rigby) She's NOT Talking To You!
K.I.L.I.T. Radio [4.26]
- [In the kitchen; Muscle Man calls K.I.L.I.T. Radio on the phone]
- Phone monitor: Hello, this is K.I.L.I.T Radio.
- Muscle Man: Yeah, I'd like DJ Donny G to play my...
- Phone Monitor: To talk to a K.I.L.I.T representative, press 0. (Muscle Man presses 0) Are you calling in regard to a song you heard?
- Muscle Man: No, I wanna talk to somebody! (presses 0 several times) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!
- Phone Monitor: I'm transferring you to our bilingual system.
- Muscle Man: NO! (Presses 0 Again) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!
- Spanish/Latin phone monitor: Hola. llamas la Radio K.I.L.I.T.
- Muscle Man: (moves table & chair and groans) I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!! (hits phone madly on the table, screaming in anger, Then Mordecai & Rigby come to Muscle Man)
- Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man, calm down!
- Muscle Man: UUUUGHH!!! I'm a failiure of a boyfriend! I can't even do something special for my girl!
- Mordecai: Why don't we just go down to the radio station and find somebody to talk to?
- Rigby: Yeah, maybe someone there can help you.
- Muscle Man: You're right, bros. I need to take this to the source.
- Rigby: Well, that was easy!
- Muscle Man: Yeah, we totally got the hook up from Donny G! Man, I can't wait to see Starla's face tonight. She's gonna be really appreciative. (Sees Donny G throw away the tape in his rearview mirror) [Gasps] OH NO BRO!
- (Muscle Man gets out of the car,slamming the door behind him)
- Muscle Man: YO DONNY! (Closes car door and begins running towards Donny G) DONNY G!!!
- Donny G: Look man, it's not what you think.
- Muscle Man: It is what I think! Cause I saw you! I used to think that you were cool! You know something, I see D-player could do your job! But you know what, I still have a voice. (Takes the tape out of the trash can) And this voice, on this tape won't be silenced on YOU!
- Donny G: Shh, shh, shh.
- Muscle Man: I SAID I WON'T BE SILENCED!
- Donny G: Okay, okay. (glances at the security cameras warily) But, we can't talk here.
Carter and Briggs [4.27]
Skips' Stress [4.28]
Cool Cubed [4.29]
Trailer Trashed [4.30]
Meteor Moves [4.31]
- Margaret: Mordecai, where are we? (Mordecai walks up to her.)
- Mordecai: Right where I wanna be.
(Margaret is stunned, then they share a passionate kiss.)
- Guardian of the Friend Zone: Mordecai, Margaret, I now pronounce you out of the friend zone!
Family BBQ [4.32]
The Last LaserDisc Player [4.33]
Country Club [4.34]
- Benson: Okay, I'm tired of asking questions. So you're gonna tell me what's going on. Thomas, I know you know.
- Thomas: Huh? Wha?
- Benson: I suggest you spill it!
- Skips: Alright everybody, settle down!
- Benson: Well, look who decided to chime in.
- Skips: Okay, I'm gonna tell you what's going on, but you're not gonna like it!
- Benson: WHAT!?!?
Blind Trust [4.35]
- Benson: Alright fine, I can't do it! I don't trust them to CATCH me! Do you hear me? I don't trust them! (Echoes)
World's Best Boss [4.36]
- Benson Now... CLEAN UP THIS MESS OR YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!
Last Meal [4.37]
- Marty: [to Death as he is about to leave] Hey loser! Here's your complimentary shirt, you loser! [holds up a T-shirt that says "I GOT DOGGED AT THE HOT BUNS DOGGERY" while laughing mockingly]
- Death: [to Marty; threateningly] You better enjoy the next few days, 'cause your deadline just got moved up, BIG TIME! [leaves on his motorcycle as the back tire splashes mud onto the countertop, Marty, and the shirt he's holding]
Sleep Fighter [4.38]
- Muscle Man: I tried to turn it off, but every time I did, the baby would start crying again. They played all 8 seasons; 257 episodes back to back. When Starla and her sister found me the next day, I was crying in a ball on the floor.
- Mordecai: It sounds like that show messed you up pretty bad.
- Benson: That must be what's causing your nightmares.
Party Re-Pete [4.39]
Steak Me Amadeus [4.40]
- Mordecai: What's going on?! Why are we locked up?!
- (Kessler then throws a bag of Amadeus Dollars to Mordecai)
- Kessler: You tell me. You and your buddies' prints are all over these counterfeit Amadeus Dollars.
- Mordecai: Counterfeit?!
- Kessler: Don't be cute with me. We've been on the case for months. Your funny money scam is GOING DOWN! (bangs her fists on table) DOWN TO PRISON TOWN, YOU HEAR ME?! PRISON!!!
- Kessler: FREEZE, BEAR!
- Muscle Man: Bros! The feds said we could help save you!
- Kessler: Can it, Mitch! Okay, Papa Bear, the jig is up. Drop the gun, and no one gets hurt.
- Louie: I'd be careful if I were you. (laughs)
- Male officer: Drop the gun, big guy!
- Duck Robot: Hold up, square! (cocks her gun) Y'all better put your guns down, NOW!
- Mordecai: The last few weeks I have spent with you have been the best weeks of my life. I feel like we are growing closer every day, and nobody makes me happier than you do. Margaret, (holds both of Margaret's hands with love. Margaret has a sad expression on her face) will you be my girlfriend?
- Margaret: Mordecai, there's something I need to tell you. For the first time ever, I feel like I can be in a relationship that can actually go somewhere...but there's this. (she shows him a torn open envelope with a letter inside it, that shows it's from Milten University; Mordecai has a shocked expression on his face. Margaret then starts tearing up) I got into my dream school. I really like you Mordecai, and what we have is special, but I may never get this opportunity again. (she starts crying) I'm sorry, but... I can't be your girlfriend.