Regular Show (season 8)

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Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 | Film | Main

The following is a list of quotes from the eighth season of Regular Show.

One Space Day at a Time [8.01][edit]

[everyone is complaining that they're in space now]
Benson: WHY AM I STILL WEARING THIS THING? [takes it off and breaks it]
Skips: There's no cell service.
Muscle Man: [whining] I need to call my wife, how am I gonna call my wife? [sees that his phone has no service]
Eileen: [watches the Earth far away] Be careful what you write in your dream journal, Eileen. You might just get it.
Hi-Five Ghost: Oh no! I'm lost forever! We're going to starve to death and die!
Rigby: We gotta press the button again!
Mordecai: [grabs Rigby] No! We gotta calm-
[Rigby jumps off Mordecai and press the button]
Rigby: [pressing the button while he's whining] GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! GO BACK! My high school graduate, I'm too young to die in space.
[everyone is still complaining]
Mordecai: Stop! [calms down everyone] Everybody, calm down. We've done this before guys. Last time we got trapped in the dome, we panicked. Right? But then we banned together and figured it out. We can't fall apart now. We are going to figure out how to get home. But we have to survive first. All we have to do is to make it one day at a time,
Benson: Mordecai is right, we'll handle this like we handle everything else, with a morning meeting.

[Mordecai observes the moon and Earth in the distance with Rigby lying down]
Mordecai: Dude, we're in space.
Rigby: [chuckles] Yeah.
Mordecai: What if we're stuck here forever?
Rigby: Might not be so bad. [Mordecai lies down with him] I mean, we basically have the park and all the stuff we normally have. Also, I've got Eileen! And you have— [Mordecai pauses for a beat]! And we have space ships! Maybe this is how we become space pilots! Unless that timeline was destroyed, I don't know.
Mordecai: [sits up] Yeah, but we'll probably make it back to Earth. [both laugh out loud, Benson enters]
Benson: What are you two doing?! No one's heard from you for two hours!
Mordecai: Sorry, Benson! We were exploring and then we found these space carts!
Rigby: Yeah, and they were already crashed and stuff.
Benson: I don't care. I don't care! I don't care! We have a plan now. Quit goofing off and get to the surface!

Benson: Aaah! We're gonna die! (Gasps) Drifting in space, no way in communicating with earth... Thanks for getting us stuck in space, Rigby!
Rigby: You pushed that button, too!
Benson: Your hand was on top of mine!
Rigby: I was just going with the flow!
Benson: Going with the flow? I'll show you going with the flow! [kicks Rigby in the balls]
Rigby: Ugh. Ahem. (kicks and punches Benson in the balls)

Cool Bro Bots [8.02][edit]


Chance Sureshot: I guess we lumberjacked him up.

Welcome to Space [8.03][edit]

Chance Sureshot: Here's your new jumpsuits. They got your names on 'em. Pretty cool, right? [Benson holds his jumpsuit]
Benson: No, not cool.
Sureshot: Harsh.
Benson: You should keep this anyway. I'm not staying.
Colonel Rawls: Tuh... You still don't get it. You don't think this mission is important. Well, fine! We don't need you! All that matters is that we have a team that wants to be here.
Mordecai: This seems like a pretty important mission. You don't wanna experience that?
Skips: Come on, Benson, just stay with us!
Benson: I can't believe you are all fine with this. [scoffs, holds his clipboard] I mean, if this is a peaceful mission, why do we have to practice using weapons? Why did I have to wear that fax machine like a jerk if you didn't have anything important for me to do?! I had a good life and then you had to drag us up here!
Col. Rawls: No more questions, that's an order!
Benson: Why would I listen to you?! I'm the park manager!!
Col. Rawls: Well, I'm the colonel, which is about 100 positions higher than you!
[Col. Rawls snatches and chucks Benson's clipboard into the trash, incinerates like a black crumpled piece of paper; everyone gasps]
Col. Rawls: Are ya done?
Benson: Oh, I'm done. I'm done with all of this!!
Col. Rawls: Then go, then! We can get a pod back to Earth for ya, quitter!
Benson: Sounds great! I'm out! [he walks out the office]
Col. Rawls: Shoot. I thought for sure that reverse psychology was gonna work.

[a disheveled Benson inserts his dusty VHS tape in a player, it plays to see Mordecai holding the camera with Earth in the background]
Mordecai: Hey, Benson. Um, we get why you want to go back to Earth, but I'm not sure we were really upfront about why we wanted you to stay. [Benson starts crying]
Skips: It just wouldn't be the same without you. [cut footage to Rigby]
Rigby: I won't be able to keep up with work without you breathing down my neck. [cut to Muscle Man]
Muscle Man: And who am I gonna have wing-eating contests with, huh? [Fives pops up behind him]
Hi-Five Ghost: I've always appreciated your no-nonsense attitude and dedication to your work. It's really inspiring. [Benson wipes his crying face; Eileen holds the camera]
Eileen: Hey, Benson. I don't know you very well, but I do know you mean a lot to these guys, and I'd like a chance to get to know you better too. You do have the best chance of keeping Rigby from blowing something up.
Rigby: It's true! I already broke the first camera we tried to record this with. [cut to Pops]
Pops: We all really look up to you, but also, you are our friend. And we'll miss you a lot, and...
[Pops starts crying loudly, Benson cries out in his sadness. Rigby places camera with the crew and Eileen]
Skips: All right, you get it. We'll miss you, so... don't go, all right?
Mordecai: Yeah, Benson. We can't do this without you.
[The title card appears that says "Space needs you, Benson!" and then the screen squiggles]
Benson: [scared] I made a huge mistake. [yells] I SHOULD'VE STAYED IN SPACE!!!

Space Creds [8.04][edit]

Benson: Look i don’t know. JUST DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY ON JUNK!!!

Lost and Found [8.05][edit]

Chance Sureshot: That's darn fine coffee.
Mordecai: It better be. You had like 12 cups.
Chance Sureshot: Only thing that keeps me steady.
Toothpick Sally: You don't wanna see him without it.
Chance Sureshot: Great lunch, guys. This one's on me.

Ugly Moons [8.06][edit]

The Dream Warrior [8.07][edit]

Alien: Pops, I didn't want to come to this. But you're gonna tell me where you live.
Pops: No!
Rigby: Don't listen to him, Pops! I can take him--- (alien cracks his neck and throws him down) Aaahh!
Pops: Rigby!

The Brain of Evil [8.08][edit]

Benson: Why is the park blasting off into space? i know you two had something to do with this!

Fries Night [8.09][edit]

Spacey McSpace Tree [8.10][edit]

Can You Ear Me Now? [8.11][edit]

Stuck in an Elevator [8.12][edit]

Rigby: [given up] We had a good run, man.
Mordecai: We're gonna get outta here, okay? [sits down] So just focus on thinking about good things, like hot wings... Strong Johns... Cheezers.
Rigby: Cheezers... I wish they had a Cheezers on the Space Tree.
Mordecai: Yeah. We got most of the stuff we had back on Earth, so it's still pretty cool.
Rigby: Yeah, but what are we gonna do when we leave the Space Tree to go on our mission?
Mordecai: [long beat] I don't know. What are we gonna do? Who knows what it's gonna be like out there? It might totally suck.
Rigby: Yeah, and good luck getting Rawls to tell you anything about it.
Mordecai: And dude, we don't even know when we're going back to Earth! Or if we're going back. [lies down with Rigby]
Rigby: Mordecai?
Mordecai: Y'know, even if we get out of this elevator, we're still trapped inside a big metal box floating through space. Any allusions we once had of being masters of our fate have been forfeited to a man who'd rather preoccupies with pushups than prepare us for whatever horrors await us out here in the cold infinite abyss.
Rigby: Dude, Mordecai! It's cool, man.
Mordecai: No, Rigby. It's not. Y'know, Fist Pump's a dumb band, but we may have just missed our last chance to see another rock concert. [beat] I miss Earth.

The Space Race [8.13][edit]

Operation: Hear No Evil [8.14][edit]

Rigby: Whoa, Muscle Man, are you crying?

Muscle Man: Yes, I'm crying. I'm feeling deep emotions and they're expressing themselves physically on my face. It's part of what makes me a man.

Space Escape [8.15][edit]

New Beds [8.16][edit]

Mordeby and Rigbecai [8.17][edit]

Rigby: What the heck is this thing?
Mordecai: I don't know.
[Rigby goes inside the teleporter and disappears]
Mordecai: Rigby! Are you okay? Rigby! Oh no! Oh no! Oh Rigby.
Rigby: Dude!
Mordecai: Don't do that! Wait, how did you get all the way over here?
Rigby:I don't know. I was over here and it was this flash and light, then I was over there to that pod.
Mordecai: Dude, do you know what this is?
Both: Teleporter!

Benson: What is going on in here? Look at this mess! I knew I couldn't trust you guys with inventory.
Mordecai: No, Benson. We're almost done!
Benson: No, you are done. And... what is this?
Mordecai: What is what? I don't know what you're talking about.
Rigby: Yeah, Benson. It's a free country.
Benson: Whatever. Just go outside and rake the leaves.
Mordecai: Aw, come on!
Rigby: Just give us five minutes!
Benson: No, now! (turns red) MOVE IT!


Alpha Dome [8.18][edit]

Terror Tales of the Park VI [8.19-8.20][edit]

[the spaghettified Muscle Man, Rigby, Mordecai and meatball Pops are wrung around a fork held by a suited man]
Man: Good evening. I'm astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Pops/Muscle Man/Rigby/Mordecai: Why can't you save us?! / Help us, bro! / What are you, just save us! / Save us!
Neil deGrasse Tyson: Oh, you can't be saved now. You see, when you enter the black hole's event horizon, your destiny was sealed... by science, and then finished up by me, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Pops/Muscle Man/Rigby/Mordecai: Nooo!!
Neil deGrasse Tyson: Sorry, guys, it's nothing personal. This is just how the universe works. Spaghettification is real. [eats the spaghetti, burps] And delicious! Happy Halloween!

The Ice Tape [8.21][edit]

The Key to the Universe [8.22][edit]

Pops: [looking at the picture while he's feeling sad] I don't want to let you down. I will never be strong as Anti-Pops.

Rigby: Psst!
Eileen: Pops, how's training going?
Pops: Terrible! Earl hasn't taught me anything!
[Pops was feeling scared]
Muscle Man: Busted!
Pops: Uh... I'm sorry, but it's the truth. Your training makes no sense! I think you simply too lazy to do all your own chores, and I'm fanned out of being you own personal chambermaid. Also, I think you are thrilly unpleasant!
Mordecai: Oh snap.
Eileen: Oh no, he didn't.
Pops: I don't want any part of this! You can fight Anti-Pops all I care!
Earl: Even if I wanted to, I cannot! You are the chosen one!
Pops: I don't want to be the chosen one!
Earl: If you do not stronger than Anti-Pops, he'll will erase everything you hold near and dear near existence.
Earl: [grunts] Pops, I understand your frustration. It is good that your will is strong. I was going to wait to show you this, in fear it would be will too overwhelming. [takes the gem out] but this is my resort to convince you.
Pops: What is that?
Earl: A fragment from a previous universe. It will show the consequences of your decisions.

No Train No Gain [8.23][edit]

Earl: Our bees about to be stung, and by that, I mean our butts.
Mordecai: Why?
Earl: Anti-Pops forever grows in power. We must hasten our training.
Mordecai: How are we gonna do that? Even with everyone helping, it's still going slow.
Earl: Have you heard of the ancient technique of... training montaaage?!
Rigby: Montage?
Mordecai: No. What is it?
Earl: Masters of it could condense time and space to train faster. They could skip right over the parts where they took a break to pee or fart.
Rigby: Wait, that sounds familiar.
Mordecai: Oh, yeah! It's a film technique in which a collection of shots cut with wipes and dissolves in quick succession as used to condense space and time. I went to art school.
Earl: Yes, exactly! By doing this, they will able to do weeks of training in mere days to reach the next level.
Rigby: Is Pops gonna level up like in a video game?!
Earl: Something like that.
Mordecai/Rigby: Cool!

Rigby: Dude, I can't handle this song anymore.
Mordecai: He played it like 120 times. What are we gonna do?
Rigby: I got an idea, let's change the tunage.

Christmas in Space [8.24-8.25][edit]

Benson: Aah! Not again! Why do you ALWAYS disobey me?!
Rigby: Whatever, you're not my dad.
Benson: (Turning red) You know what, Rigby? You're... bad! You're a bad boy. And you HAVE been all year!
Rigby: Pssh. Name one time.
Benson: Rigby, you... are a... bad... boy!
Rigby: Hey, man, no one's perfect.
Benson: Well, enough is enough! No Santa for you this Christmas. This year, you'll get a visit from Krampus.
Rigby: Who?
Benson: He's the Anti-Santa. Instead of giving presents, Krampus comes to punish all the bad children by stuffing them into his basket.
Rigby: Huh.
Benson: It's a European thing. I'm sending to him Email at you right now.
Rigby: You wouldn't do that! [messages him and gasps] You're ruining my life! [runs off]
Skips: You know, Krampus isn't real, right?
Benson: Oh, I know, just trying to scare him.

Kill 'Em with Kindness [8.26][edit]

Rigby: [singing] Breakfast cake, cake, cake cake cake. Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! Ca-ca-ca-cake! [he sees everyone in the dining room doing nothing] Where's cake?
Eileen: With Pops.
Rigby: Where's Pops?
Skips: He left a note. [gives note to Rigby]
Rigby: [reading a letter] Dear friends, I've gone to see my evil brother. Cake fixes everything. You'll see, sincerely, Pops.
Muscle Man: He's going to get himself killed.
Hi-Five Ghost: Himself and us so
Skips: We gotta go find it.

Meet the Seer [8.27][edit]

Pops: [feeling sick and has nightmares] Bad show!
Eileen: [checking his temp] He's so weak.
Rigby: What did Anti-Pops do to him?
Mordecai: It was the same thing he did to Earl, like he almost erased him from existence or something.
Benson: Lets just do it Earl said and get Pops to the seer.
Speaker: Now approaching Planet Nielsen
Rigby: [looks outside] That's a planet?
Eileen: It looks like some weird appliance.
Skips: [looks outside] I got a bad feeling about this.

Cheer Up Pops [8.28][edit]

[The episode begins at the cruising Park Dome. We are shown a computer that display the dome heading to Lolliland, Mordecai and Rigby enter the house]
Mordecai: What's up, Pops?
Rigby: What's good?
[Pops didn't say anything to Mordecai and Rigby. He begins to cry]
Mordecai: Umm... You okay Pops?
[Pops disappears and reappears outside]
Mordecai/Rigby: Whoa!
[Pops walks away crying]
Mordecai: Uhh...
Rigby: What the...
[Skips is working on the dome's engine when suddenly a parasite appears out of nowhere, causing Skips to scream]
Skips: Gotcha, you stupid parasite! [Pops appears behind Skips, who notices] Hey, Pops. Gotta catch those things before they destroy the ship and kill us all.
[Once again, Pops doesn't respond to Skips and begins to cry. Then, he disappears and while being invisible, he walks away, which you can tell by his footsteps]
Skips: [confused] Um.......okay...
[Pops is still walking away crying when Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost drive up to him]
Hi Five Ghost: Hey, Pops. Wanna go on a supply run with us?
Muscle Man: [excitedly] On the way, we're gonna see how close we can fly to a sun!
[Again, Pops doesn't answer and starts crying and then flies away]
Muscle Man: Uh....okay. Your loss, bro!

A Regular Epic Final Battle [8.29-8.31][edit]

[In Anti-Pops' ship]
Anti-Pops: [shocked in anger] HE'S ALREADY AT LOLLILAND?!?!?!? [Anti-Pops erases the wheel chair] You, WHY AREN'T WE MOVING?!!
Robot: Uh, Well, You erased half the engine So, We're stalled out sir.
[Anti-Pops ship can no longer move]

Anti-Pops: [to Muscle Man and High Five Ghost] Any last words, Mitch?
Muscle Man: You know who else goes very big to show their dominance, but it's actually very small deep down? My... mom.
Hi-Five Ghost: [laughs] Good one.
[Muscle Man and High Five Ghost both high five for the last time as Anti Pops erases them. Everyone gasps. Pops grows angry]
[Pops disappears and reappears with white eyes, white hair and his arms are strong. Anti-Pops stares at Pops]
Anti-Pops: Give up, Pops. All your friends are going to die, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Pops: We can still resolve this, Brother.
Anti-Pops: [growls in rage] Stop calling me that!
[He fires his beam on Lolliland, and Pops fires his beam on the planet, then Anti-Pops erases Chance Sureshot, Toothpick Sally, Recap Robot, the Guardians of Eternal Youth, Gary, Death, Carter and Briggs and Party Horse 42699]
Party Horse 42699: [as he gets erased] Aah, not cool!
[The baby ducks get erased as well, and Andy and his friends arrive]
Andy: Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. I just come from this hot party... [He and his friends get erased]
[Skips, Eileen and Benson get erased as Mordecai and Rigby watched their friends and the mech get erased by Anti-Pops]
Mordecai/Rigby: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
[Pops tries to get everyone back with his beam, But he's too weak]
Anti-Pops: [laughs evilly] This ends now!
[Anti-Pops kicks Pops into a black hole, As Pops getting sucked in, A purple flash lights from his hand]
Anti-Pops: Huh?
[Pops got out of the black hole, Anti-Pops roars, Pops is going to do a big fist bump with him]
Rigby: Dude, Look!
[Mordecai sees Pops and Anti-Pops' hands are closed, He remembers If Pops and Anti-Pops keeps fighting, They will both do a big fist bump, And then the universe will end]
Mordecai: Oh no, Dude, The end is coming! We have to Stop it! Hang on!
[The spaceship flies to Anti-Pops and Pops who are closer to do a big fist bump, Mordecai shoots green lasers at Anti-Pops' hand, But it's not working]
Mordecai: It's not working!
Rigby: Dude, we got to eject!
Mordecai: Not yet, we got to fly between them!
Rigby: You're crazy!
[Pops and Anti-Pops are getting closer]
Mordecai: NOW!
[Rigby presses the "Eject" button, But it won't eject Mordecai and Rigby]
Rigby: No! No, No, No, No, No, No, No!
[Pops and Anti-Pops suddenly do a big fist bump ending the universe and resetting the time]

[After the main events of Part 2, We see the first scene from the 2010's "The Power"]
Rigby: Alright, Beef Burrito. I'm gonna give you one more chance to take back what you said about my mom! [A Beef Burrito doll lies silently on the floor] I'LL KILL YOU!!!
[He pats his elbow and jumps onto a trampoline, body-slamming the doll. He then elbows the doll multiple times, and body slams it once more. He picks up the doll and moves its arm, making it punch himself in the face. Behind him, Mordecai is calling to him]
Mordecai: Tag up! Tag up!
[Pretending to be weakened, Rigby walks over to Mordecai and high-fives him. As Rigby drinks a soda, Mordecai pulls the Beef Burrito doll away. Rigby slams the soda can onto the ground and lets out a ferocious cry. Mordecai sets the doll up next to a bed before walking away onto the shelves]
Rigby: What?! [silence] Oh, you want us to put the hurt on you? [Mordecai grabs Rigby] I think he wants me to put the hurt on him!
Mordecai: I think he wants you to put the hurt on him!
Rigby: You think he wants me to put the hurt on him?!
Mordecai: Yes, I do!
[Mordecai & Rigby scream. Mordecai throws Rigby down onto the trampoline, launching him into the wall]
Rigby: [in slow motion voice] Wait a minute, I think we've done this before. [screams as he is still heading towards the wall. The impact leaves a large hole in the wall and Rigby ends up in a trash can] Ugh, ugh... [removes trash can] Yea-!! Hang on dude. This have happened before.
Mordecai: What? What are you talking about? No it hasn't.
Rigby: Yes it ha-! [gasps as he remembers the scenes from The Power, Hello China, The Dome Experiment, Cool Bro Bots, Space Escape, a scene where he was burying the Blu-ray box set in the ground, and the scenes from A Regular Epic Final Battle Part 2]
Mordecai: Man, are you okay? How hard did you hit your head?
Rigby: Medium hard, but that's not the point! We've seriously done this before!
Mordecai: I think you remember breaking a hole in the wall. We're gonna get fired for this.
Rigby: We're not gonna get fired. Not for this, not smashing for Benson's car, or ruining everyone's Thanksgiving dinner! Not even for releasing demon in the park! [laughs] We actually still have our jobs for like six years after this!
Mordecai: You're being insane. Even if you could see into the future, we'd totally get fired for all that stuff.
Rigby: I'm right, Mordecai. I can prove it.

Anti-Pops: [angrily] Oooh! This can't work Pops! The minute you let me go, I'm going to BLAST you into nothing!
Pops: I know, so I'm not going to let go.
Anti-Pops: Wha? [seeing the star, as he and Pops flies towards it] NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU'LL KILL US BOTH YOU FOOL!!!
Mordecai/Rigby: [as Pops as about to sacrifice himself] POPS, DON'T!
Pops: [telepathically, smiles] Don't worry Mordecai and Rigby. I know you're sad, but I promise, this is a happy ending. Take care of each other. Goodbye.
Anti-Pops: [last words, now feeling remorse] My God, all those one star reviews - I wish I could take it all back.
Pops: [final last words] You can try. You and I together, brother.
[As they embrace each other, both Pops and Anti-Pops die making the star explode]
Mordecai: [tearfully] Guess this is it. If anyone's listening, I wanna come back as a dolphin.
Rigby: [tearfully] Oh, good one. Me too. No wait, an eagle! No, a pterodactyl with a really big...
[Rigby's words are cut as the explosion turns everything white]

Rigby: [while having the reunion party] Man, I can't believe it has been 25 years.
Mordecai: Yeah, I wish Pops could've been here to see this.
Rigby: Well, if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have this.
Mordecai: Yeah. Hey, do you think those old video games are still in the shed?
Rigby: Yeah, we should check it out for old cart sake.
Mordecai and Rigby: Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. OOOOHHHHH! [they laugh]
Mordecai: I can't believe we used to do that. [he and Rigby walk away]
[TV turned off and the video tape that says "Regular Show" ejects]
Angel Pops: [sighs happily off screen] Jolly good show.

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