Regular Show (season 4)
The following is a list of quotes from the fourth season of Regular Show.
Exit 9B [4.01-4.02]
(After Thomas fetches the coffee for Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr., he yells at him)
- Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.: Thomas, stop thinking about things and bring us the coffee already! (to Garrett Bobby Ferguson) Kid's worthless am I right?
(Thomas yells and throws coffee at Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.'s face. Enraged, he kicks Thomas off the freeway)
- Park workers and Gary: Thomas!!
Starter Pack [4.03]
- Muscle Man: THOMAS DID THIS!?
Terror Tales of the Park II [4.04-4.05]
- Margaret: Hey! He's passing a movie theatre, Driver, Stop the bus! Let us off, Stop the bus!
- Margaret: Ugh!, Mordecai the bus isn't stopping!
- Mordecai: You don't looks so good man.
- Rigby: Yeah, How long get been here?
- Margaret: [elder voice] Why did you put it in reverse?
- Mordecai: [elder voice] It was the only thing I could think of!
- Rigby: [He looks at his hands, returning to the gang's real age] Guys, look!
- Margaret: We're getting younger!
- [But the de-aging doesn't stop, since the bus is still in motion. The gang starts shrinking, turning them younger until they're kids again]
- Mordecai: [younger voice] We gotta get off this bus!
- Eileen: [younger voice] Guys look, an emergency hatch!
- [Eileen points at a hatch in the roof]
- Mordecai: [younger voice] Come on, everybody up!
- [Rigby opens the hatch. Mordecai lifts everyone on top of the bus, but when Mordecai finally gets out, he notices they all have turned into babies]
- Rigby/Margaret/Eileen: [younger voice] Now what?
- Mordecai: [younger voice] We gotta jump! [The gang holds each other's hands, and then they all jump off of the bus, giggling] We did it! We got off the party bus.
- Mordecai/Rigby/Margaret/Eileen: [younger voice] OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- [They all pop out of existence]
- Mordecai: Aw, man! We didn't survive the crash!
- Rigby: I guess not.
- Benson: (Turns red) UNBELIEVABLE!!!! RIGBY, YOU'RE FIRED!!!
- Rigby: You can't fire me, I'm dead! Whoo! Party!
Pie Contest [4.06]
- Benson: Mordecai! Rigby!
- Mordecai: Whoa, Benson, we're sorry!
- Rigby: At least we didn't give up, right?
- Benson: UNBELIEVABLE!
- Mordecai: Look, we judged the pie contest.
- Rigby: You're just mad we didn't quit and now you can't fire us.
- Benson: Oh, can't I?
- Mordecai & Rigby: No, you can't.
- Benson: Yeah, I guess you're right. (Gives M&R the shovels) Clean up this mess or you're fired!
150 Piece Kit [4.07]
Bald Spot [4.08]
- Rigby: Whoa. I didn't know you were bald. (Muscle Man cries out in agony, rolls off.)
- Mordecai: Uh, see you tonight.
Guy's Night [4.09]
One Pull Up [4.10]
The Christmas Special [4.11-4.12]
- (Quillgin gets up from the bridge and looks at the other side, angrily)
- Quillgin: NOOOOOO!!!!!
T.G.I. Tuesday [4.13]
Firework Run [4.14]
- [Benson just arrived witnessing all Fourth of July fireworks blow up and confronts the group in a rage fit]
- Benson: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!
- Muscle Man: We were just—
- Benson: WHY WOULD YOU LIGHT OFF ALL THE FIREWORKS BEFORE THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE YEAR?!!!
- Muscle Man: Just hang on now, Benson! I know this looks bad, but I can fix it!
- Benson: Fix it?! Fix WHAT?!! YOU JUST RUINED THE 4TH OF JULY!!!!
- Muscle Man: I know! I know! Just hear me out! I know a guy who's got the hookup on cheap fireworks.
- Benson: I DON'T WANT CHEAP FIREWORKS!!!! THAT STUFF YOU JUST BLEW UP WAS TOP OF THE LINE!!!
- Muscle Man: Benson, trust me. This guy's stuff is quality. I'll pay for it out of my own pocket!
- Benson: Alright, fine! But if you guys aren't back before the show starts at sundown, YOU'RE FIRED!!!
- Benson: This wasn't the deal! You two were supposed to replace the ones that you set off this morning. That's it, I'm CALLING IT OFF! You guys are all fired!
- Benson: All right, you guys. Somehow, you managed to top last year's firework show, so I guess I'm not gonna fire you.
- All Four: Yeah! / Alright!
- Benson: In fact, I'm putting you four in charge of a very special job.
- Rigby: Oh, cool! What special job?
- Benson: REPLACING THE THREE FOOTBALL FIELDS WORTH OF GRASS YOU JUST BURNT!!!!
- [he and Skips leave. Muscle Man turns to the group]
- Muscle Man: Don't worry. I know a guy who's got the hookup on real cheap sod.
The Longest Weekend [4.15]
- Rigby: This movie sucks. It's called "The Longest Weekend", but I thought it was going to be a party.
- Mordecai: Muscle Man, don't do it! She'll break up with you!
- Margaret: 30 more seconds!
- Mordecai: You promised her you'd wait!
- Muscle Man: I've waited long enough! I don't wanna wait anymore! And I bet Starla doesn't wanna wait anymore either! STARLA!!! (glows brighter)
- Starla: MITCH!!! (also glows brighter)
- Mordecai: We probably shouldn't invite them to the movies anymore.
- Margaret: Good idea.
Sandwich of Death [4.16]
Ace Balthazar Lives [4.17]
Do or Diaper [4.18]
Quips [4.19]
Caveman [4.20]
- Benson: Who is that?
- Mordecai: He's our new friend. Dancing caveman.
- Benson: Caveman? No, no. No way. I'm not having a caveman at the park. We aren't insured for it.
- Mordecai: What?! That's not fair!
- Rigby: Yeah, we can't just get rid of him!
- Benson: A caveman cannot fit into this modern world.
- [Caveman squeezes a ketchup bottle and mustard bottle into his mouth and he throw the bottles at Benson, who blocks them with the clipboard]
- Benson: See?!
- Mordecai: But he's one of us now!
- Benson: Really? What's his name?
- Mordecai & Rigby: Uh...
- Benson: Get rid of him!
- Rigby: But he'll die out there alone! Come on, Benson.
- Mordecai & Rigby: Please?
- Caveman: Ben... son?
- Benson: ...Fine. You have a week to get him civilized.
- Mordecai & Rigby: Nice!
- Mordecai: Thanks, Benson.
- Benson: But if he isn't up to park standards in a week, I'm calling the pound!! [leaves]
- Mordecai: We're gonna need some help.
- Mordecai & Rigby: Benson!
- Benson: I saw everything. I had Greg all wrong! He gave it all up for true love. In a way, he was more civilized than all of us! Mordecai, Rigby, clean up this mess. Do it. (about to cry) Do it or you're fired!
That's My Television [4.21]
A Bunch of Full Grown Geese [4.22]
- Mordecai: Benson, something's gotta be done about those geese! Pops is locked in his room crying!
- Benson: Yeah, we've been getting complaints. They're highly territorial war-like birds. Luckily, I got a couple guys who'll be takin' care of the problem.
- Both: Dude, awesome!
- Rigby: Who is it?
- Benson: Couple of guys named Mordecai and Rigby.
- Both: What?!!
- Mordecai: Maybe you don't understand, Benson, these geese — they're terrifying.
- Rigby: Terrifying!
- Benson: I don't wanna hear it! DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!!
- Rigby: Man, you always say that! You're all talk, Benson.
- Benson: HGNNN RAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
- Both: WAHHH!!!
Fool Me Twice [4.23]
Limousine Lunchtime [4.24]
- Benson: All right, Mr. Maellard gets back from vacation today, so I need you guys to clean the limousine.
- Rigby: Why don't we just wait till it rains? That's how I clean myself.
- Benson: [beat] I want it looking as good as new when he comes back this afternoon. That means washed, waxed and detailed, got it?
- Rigby: Yeah, yeah, we got it.
- Mordecai: So where are the keys?
- Benson: Oh, you mean these keys?
- Mordecai: Yeah.
- Benson: Oh, no. I'll be holding on to these.
- Rigby: Aw, what? How're we gonna listen to the radio then?
- Benson: Your job isn't listening to the radio, it's to clean the car. Do it before Mr. Maellard gets back or you're fired! [leaves]
- Rigby: Great, no radio. This is gonna be so BOORRIIIIING!!!
Picking up Margaret [4.25]
- Mordecai: Uh... (Margaret turns) Nothing. Sorry. See you. (Margaret sighs and kisses Mordecai)
- Margaret: See you soon.
- Mordecai: Uh...bye. (leaves, starts dancing, then sees Benson's car being towed)
- Margaret: Wait, are you sure you want to give me a ride and not because you bet someone you could or-
- Mordecai: What? (scoffs) Come on, when have I- (points at Rigby) She's NOT Talking To You!
K.I.L.I.T. Radio [4.26]
- [In the kitchen; Muscle Man calls K.I.L.I.T. Radio on the phone]
- Phone monitor: Hello, this is K.I.L.I.T Radio.
- Muscle Man: Yeah, I'd like DJ Donny G to play my...
- Phone Monitor: To talk to a K.I.L.I.T representative, press 0. (Muscle Man presses 0) Are you calling in regard to a song you heard?
- Muscle Man: No, I wanna talk to somebody! (presses 0 several times) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!
- Phone Monitor: I'm transferring you to our bilingual system.
- Muscle Man: NO! (Presses 0 Again) ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!
- Spanish/Latin phone monitor: Hola. llamas la Radio K.I.L.I.T.
- Muscle Man: (moves table & chair and groans) I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!!! (hits phone madly on the table, screaming in anger, Then Mordecai & Rigby come to Muscle Man)
- Mordecai: Dude, Muscle Man, calm down!
- Muscle Man: UUUUGHH!!! I'm a failiure of a boyfriend! I can't even do something special for my girl!
- Mordecai: Why don't we just go down to the radio station and find somebody to talk to?
- Rigby: Yeah, maybe someone there can help you.
- Muscle Man: You're right, bros. I need to take this to the source.
- Rigby: Well, that was easy!
- Muscle Man: Yeah, we totally got the hook up from Donny G! Man, I can't wait to see Starla's face tonight. She's gonna be really appreciative. (Sees Donny G throw away the tape in his rearview mirror) [Gasps] OH NO BRO!
- (Muscle Man gets out of the car,slamming the door behind him)
- Muscle Man: YO DONNY! (Closes car door and begins running towards Donny G) DONNY G!!!
- Donny G: Look man, it's not what you think.
- Muscle Man: It is what I think! Cause I saw you! I used to think that you were cool! You know something, I see D-player could do your job! But you know what, I still have a voice. (Takes the tape out of the trash can) And this voice, on this tape won't be silenced on YOU!
- Donny G: Shh, shh, shh.
- Muscle Man: I SAID I WON'T BE SILENCED!
- Donny G: Okay, okay. (glances at the security cameras warily) But, we can't talk here.
Carter and Briggs [4.27]
Skips' Stress [4.28]
Cool Cubed [4.29]
Trailer Trashed [4.30]
Meteor Moves [4.31]
- Margaret: Mordecai, where are we? (Mordecai walks up to her.)
- Mordecai: Right where I wanna be.
(Margaret is stunned, then they share a passionate kiss.)
- Guardian of the Friend Zone: Mordecai, Margaret, I now pronounce you out of the friend zone!
Family BBQ [4.32]
The Last LaserDisc Player [4.33]
Country Club [4.34]
- Benson: Okay, I'm tired of asking questions. So you're gonna tell me what's going on. Thomas, I know you know.
- Thomas: Huh? Wha?
- Benson: I suggest you spill it!
- Skips: Alright everybody, settle down!
- Benson: Well, look who decided to chime in.
- Skips: Okay, I'm gonna tell you what's going on, but you're not gonna like it!
- Benson: WHAT!?!?
Blind Trust [4.35]
- Benson: Alright fine, I can't do it! I don't trust them to CATCH me! Do you hear me? I don't trust them! (Echoes)
World's Best Boss [4.36]
- Benson Now... CLEAN UP THIS MESS OR YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!
Last Meal [4.37]
Sleep Fighter [4.38]
- Muscle Man: I tried to turn it off, but every time I did, the baby would start crying again. They played all 8 seasons; 257 episodes back to back. When Starla and her sister found me the next day, I was crying in a ball on the floor.
- Mordecai: It sounds like that show messed you up pretty bad.
- Benson: That must be what's causing your nightmares.
Party Re-Pete [4.39]
Steak Me Amadeus [4.40]
- Mordecai: What's going on?! Why are we locked up?!
- (Kessler then throws a bag of Amadeus Dollars to Mordecai)
- Kessler: You tell me. You and your buddies' prints are all over these counterfeit Amadeus Dollars.
- Mordecai: Counterfeit?!
- Kessler: Don't be cute with me. We've been on the case for months. Your funny money scam is GOING DOWN! (bangs her fists on table) DOWN TO PRISON TOWN, YOU HEAR ME?! PRISON!!!
- Kessler: FREEZE, BEAR!
- Muscle Man: Bros! The feds said we could help save you!
- Kessler: Can it, Mitch! Okay, Papa Bear, the jig is up. Drop the gun, and no one gets hurt.
- Louie: I'd be careful if I were you. (laughs)
- Male officer: Drop the gun, big guy!
- Duck Robot: Hold up square! (cocks here gun) Y'all gonna put yo' guns down, NOW!
- Mordecai: The last few weeks I have spent with you have been the best weeks of my life. I feel like we are growing closer every day, and nobody makes me happier than you do. Margaret, (holds both of Margaret's hands with love. Margaret has a sad expression on her face) will you be my girlfriend?
- Margaret: Mordecai, there's something I need to tell you. For the first time ever, I feel like I can be in a relationship that can actually go somewhere...but there's this. (she shows him a torn open envelope with a letter inside it, that shows it's from Milten University; Mordecai has a shocked expression on his face. Margaret then starts tearing up) I got into my dream school. I really like you Mordecai, and what we have is special, but I may never get this opportunity again. (she starts crying) I'm sorry, but... I can't be your girlfriend.