Rocko's Modern Life

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Rocko's Modern Life is an American animated series premiered on September 18, 1993 to November 24, 1996. The series follows a Wallaby named Rocko and his friends, Heffer and Filburt.

Season 1

Episode 1

Carnival Knowledge [1.1a]

[Note: first lines (in-production only) in the series]
Rocko: Heffer, we're mates, right?

Sand In Your Navel [1.1b]

Episode 2

A Sucker for the Suck-O-Matic [1.2a]

[The series opens with a mailbox, this says "Rocko + Spunky" the camera pans up to Rocko's house, fade to the window, a steer cow is seen watching TV, eating food]
Rocko Rama: [first lines (in-broadcast only) in the series, his voice is heard] I had it with you, you're a useless and pathetic [A Wallaby named Rocko Rama is seen angry and is shown talking] like a USELESS AND PATHETIC thing, this is the last straw you pile of rubbish! [holds up a hammer and starts hitting the suk-u-lox] Prepare to FEEL MY WRATH! [The bull terrier dog is named Spunky gets afraid] That will teach you!

Rocko: I must cease this senseless sucking. It's stuck in suck!
Rocko and Heffer: (reading) "How to turn off your Suck-o-Matic..." [the page gets sucked up, and the page that reads...] "In case Suck-o-Matic sucks instructions, see page 101..." [another page gets ripped and is sucked, a page shows a skull on fire] "PREAPRE TO DIE?!?!?!" [Rocko, Heffer and Spunky scream as their eyes pop out]

Canned [1.2b]

Episode 3

Rocko's Happy Sack [1.3a]

Filburt: And your total is... [The cash register shows "$1.50"]
Rocko: Phew!
[Then the total suddenly increases]
Filburt: One hundred and fifty dollars. Gee, looks like you just missed a big sale. Have a nice day.
Rocko: [snarls and gets bombs in his eyes, enraged and loses it] You CHEAP LITTLE ROTTER! I've been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your Gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very large woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I still beat the 12:00 deadline! So if you don't change that total back to $1.50, I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!!!!!

Flu-In-the-Enza [1.3b]

Episode 4

Who's For Dinner? [1.4a]

Heffer: You're not my father! you're just a jerk in wolf's clothing! [starts bawling and runs out of the front door]
[The Wolfe family glares at Rocko]
Rocko: Well, [chuckles] I'm stuffed.

Heffer: I guess no one loves me.

Episode 5

Clean Lovin' [1.5a]

Unbalanced Load [1.5b]

Episode 6

Leap Frogs [1.6a]

Bedfellows [1.6b]

Episode 7

No Pain, No Gain [1.7a]

Who Gives A Buck [1.7b]

Episode 8

Jetscream [1.8a]

Dirty Dog [1.8b]

Squirmy: Here we are, Mr. Icck. Fried lice fritters!
Bloaty: Mmm. Boy, uh, does that look good.
Mr. Icck: It better be good, Bloatman, or it's back to the colon mines for you!
Bloaty: (nervously) The colon mines. Right, boss.

Mr. Icck: You're FIRED! I mean, THE END!

Episode 9

Keeping Up With the Bigheads [1.9a]

Skid Marks [1.9b]

Episode 10

The Good, The Bad and the Wallaby [1.10a]

Trash-O-Madness [1.10b]

Episode 11

Power Trip [1.11a]

Filburt: Yes boss?
Rocko: I want to see you in my office IMMEDIATELY!
Filburt: Yes boss! [uses his teeth to drag himself to the office and he arrives in the office]
Rocko: Supply and demand, Filburt; supply and demand. People demand "Big Man" comics, and we supply them. If you, Filburt can't supply "Big Man", the system breaks down. Do you follow me Filburt!?
Filburt: Yes sir.
Rocko: If the system breaks down, I DON’T MAKE A PROFIT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!?
Filburt: No...? [Rocko turns around and shows Rocko is now the same shape and size Mr. Smitty is and Filburt screams in horror]
Rocko: YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!
[Rocko's breath sends away Filburt down the stairs, out of the shop and into the street. Random vehicles run over Filburt]
Filburt: Where are you, Really Really Big Man?

Episode 12

Spitballs [1.12a]

Popcorn Pandemonium [1.12b]

Episode 13

Cabin Fever [1.13a]

Rinse and Spit [1.13b]

Season 2

I Have No Son! [2.1]

Episode 2

Pipe Dreams [2.2a]

Tickled Pinky [2.2b]

Episode 3

The Lounge Singer [2.3a]

She's The Toad [2.3b]

Episode 4

Down The Hatch [2.4a]

Road Rash [2.4b]

Episode 5

Boob Tubed [2.5a]

Commuted Sentence [2.5b]

[When Rocko is later for work too many times.]
Mr. Smitty: I've tolerated your laziness for the last time, Rocko. If you are late again, consider yourself TERMINATED!!! Clear?
Rocko: Crystal.

[Impound Lot, everyone else is in line to get their cars back. In front of the line is a disgruntled Mr. Smitty who had parked in a no parking zone.]
Mr. Smitty: I want my car back and I want it, NOW!
Impound Lot Director: Let's take a look at this chart, shall we?
[He sternly pulls down the chart and Mr. Smitty frowns.]

Rocko's Modern Christmas!: Can't Squeeze Cheer From a Cheese Log [2.6]

Episode 7

Hut Sit Raw [2.7a]

Kiss Me, I'm Foreign [2.7b]

Cruisin' [2.8]

Episode 9

Born to Spawn [2.9a]

Newscaster: We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to give you this O-Town special report. A crazed turtle has just hijacked the Jolly Roberts seafood restaurant in the marina.
Rocko and Heffer: What the?
Newscaster: Witnesses say the alleged turtle kept screaming... [looking at his script] "Fish... sticks... fish sticks," as he forced patrons out the backdoor to safety.
Eyewitness: It was awful. Awful. He was CRAZY! Tartar sauce everywhere! Craziest turtle I ever seen! FISH STICKS! FISH STICKS! AHH!!!!
Rocko and Heffer: Filburt!

Uniform Behavior [2.9b]

Episode 10

Hair Licked [2.10a]

Rocko: Well, Heff, how's it look?
Heffer: Paper or plastic?

Gutter Balls [2.10b]

Episode 11

Junk Junkies [2.10a]

Day of the Flecko [2.10b]

Flecko: Wait... Wait a minute, big guy. You don't wanna do that. I got kids. Millions of 'em. They'll be orphans. Never getting to play catch with old Dad. No one to tuck 'em in at night. Please, Mister!
Rocko: [sobbing, in a puddle of tears] Please, please, stop. I can't take anymore. You're free to go, Mr. Fly. Run along and take care of your family.
[Flecko pokes Rocko in the eye.]
Flecko: You were gonna kill me, ya big jerk!

Episode 12

Snowballs [2.12a]

Frog's Best Friend [2.12b]

Episode 13

Short Story [2.13a]

Rocko: I wish I was really big.
Tyrone: [taps his wand on Rocko's forehead, granting his wish] Done. [poofs away]
Rocko: [starts growing at a slow rate and becomes 50 feet tall] Wow! This is great. [looks down at Spunky, shaking fearfully at his height] Don't be afraid, Spunky. It's only me. [picks up Spunky and puts him in his shirt pocket] There you go, my little pal. Smell that fresh air.

Eyes Capades [2.13b]

Season 3

Episode 1

Sugar Frosted Frights [3.1a]

Ed is Dead: A Thriller! [3.1b]

Heffer: [imitating Hitchcock] Good evening. [puffs out chest] Tonight's selections is a chilling tale of mayhem, shrubbery, and a wallaby who knew too much. [puffs out chest] So without further ado, we bring you... [normal voice] Just a second. [runs backstage to open the curtains, back to Hitch voice] "Ed is Dead"

Episode 2

The Emperor's New Joe [3.2a]

Schnit-Heads [3.2b]

Episode 3

Bye, Bye Birdie [3.3a]

Belch of Destiny [3.3b]

Episode 4

Nothing to Sneeze at [3.4a]

Old Fogey Froggy [3.4b]

Bev: Oh, I'm so glad you could make it.
Rocko: It was the least we can do.
Bev: [as Filburt gives her flowers] Won't you come in?
[The trio went with Bev and the bed is a stressful, not-up, Ed Bighead]
Rocko: Did he go peacefully?
Bev: Yes, he just kind of drifted off and... and... that was it.
Heffer: He looks all warm and sticky.
Bev: Oh Ed, You were so convinced that you were old that you wished yourself to death. [cries]
Filburt: Well, no sense In dragging this out, let's get to the good part.
Heffer: [about to lift up the bed] One... two... three... LIFT! [lifts up the mattress and Ed slides down and falls into the trash can]
Filburt: And now, for the appropriate dirge.
[Bev starts crying uncontrollably as Heffer, Filburt, Rocko and she walk outside]
Heffer and Filburt: [sings the wedding march while Bev continues crying] Da dum da-dum! Da da-da-dum!
Rocko: [takes off his hat] We have gathered here today to pay our last week's day to our beloved Ed Bighead, wasted away his entire life worrying about how old he was. Heff [Heffer holds up the lid to the trash can] Lid. [then Heffer puts the lid in the trash can] Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. We stick Ed Bighead in the Earth's crust.
[Heffer kicks the trash can with Ed Bighead in it to the hole that was dug up, making the latter groan in pain while Rocko, Heffer, Filburt and Bev cry wildly together]
Rocko, Heffer, Filburt and Bev: [start sobbing wildly] WAAAAAAA-HAAAA-HAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Episode 5

Manic Mechanic [3.5a]

Rocko's Happy Vermin [3.5b]

Episode 6

Camera Shy [3.6a]

Heffer: Okay, Rocko, do that goofy face you make when you're buying eggs.
[Heffer and Filburt are about to film Rocko walking downstairs in the night for a glass of milk.]
Filburt: He's not dressed for the occasion, if you know what I mean.
Heffer: You heard right! He's completely...naked!

Fish-N-Chumps [3.6b]

Episode 7

The Fatlands [3.7a]

I See London, I See France [3.7b]

Episode 8

Dear John [3.8a]

Rocko: My living room, it's a bathroom. My closet is a bathroom. My basement is a bathroom! My ballroom is a bathroom! Even my bathroom is a bathroom! Well, I guess that's okay. THERE'S TOO MANY BATHROOMS!!!!
Bucky: Too many bathrooms? What do you mean? You can never have too many bathrooms.
Rocko: [enraged] GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU WACKO!!!

Fortune Cookie [3.8b]

Filburt: It is only a stupid fortune cookie. I should listen to Rocko more often.

Filburt: THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING! No matter what I do, the fortune is always the same! [breaks down, sadly] I'll never win Mega-Spin.

Episode 9

Speaking Terms [3.9a]

Tooth and Nail [3.9b]

Episode 10

An Elk for Heffer [3.10a]

Scrubbin' Down Under [3.10b]

Wacky Deli [3.11]

Rocko: O-kay! So Betty wakes up and says "Oh, what a beautiful day". And then the telephone...
Heffer: Or doorbell!
Rocko: Or doorbell ringing, and she answers it and says "Hello?" And then the salami...
Filburt: Or cheese!
Rocko: [getting angry] Or cheese says "I hate bologna" and attacks her through the phone before belching while all the stuff comes out of his mouth while we hold on him for a long time!
[He struggles to contain his anger]
Rocko: ... Okey-dokey? So... then... she walks up to the counter, and...
Heffer: HOLD IT!
Rocko: [furious] WHAT?!
Heffer: Hmm... y'know, I was thinkin'...
Rocko: [at the limits of his patience] Yeeeeesss?!
Heffer: ...Do we really need the cheese at all?
Filburt: Why, you big stupid cow.
Heffer: What? What'd I say?
Filburt: Why do you torment me like this?
Heffer: I'd probably do now!
Filburt: Just let me do it the way I want it!

Episode 12

The Big Question [3.12a]

The Big Answer [3.12b]

Episode 13

Zanzibar! [3.13a]

Fatal Contraption [3.13b]

Season 4

Episode 1

With Friends Like These [4.1a]

Sailing The Seven Zzz's [4.1b]

Episode 2

The High Five of Doom [4.2a]

Fly Burgers [4.2b]

Episode 3

Pranksters [4.3a]

Heffer: [repeated line] Yes, Granny Rocko.

From Here to Maternity [4.3b]

Filburt: [imitating Rocko] "Hey, look, fellas! I'm in jail! Heh heh..."
Rocko: Oh, come on, Filburt.
Filburt: Back off, Peter Cottontail! You're the reason we're in this mess!

Episode 4

Heff in a Handbasket [4.4a]

Wallaby On Wheels [4.4b]

DJ: Okay, all skate.
Heffer: Try not to flail so much.
DJ: Now backwards.
Heffer: Be the skates, Rock.
DJ: Skate on your hands.
Heffer: Try to get all five of your stomachs evenly distributed over the skates.
DJ: Skate on your nose.
Heffer: Put your nose... [muffled]
DJ: Skate all willy-nilly like an idiot.
Heffer: [imitating Rocko's skating] Now you're getting it, Rocko!

Episode 5

Ed Good, Rocko Bad [4.5a]

Teed Off [4.5b]

Episode 6

Wimp On the Barby [4.6a]

Yarn Benders [4.6b]

Episode 7

Mama's Boy [4.7a]

Feisty Geist [4.7b]

Episode 8

S.W.A.K. [4.8a]

Magic Meatball [4.8b]

Episode 9

Closet Clown [4.9a]

Seat to Stardom [4.9b]

Rocko: Can you see anything, Heff?
Heffer: Just the back of a bunch of heads. How about you, Rocko?
Rocko: Naw. Looks like a forest of ankles down here. Filburt?
Filburt: [looking at someone's butt crack] I've got a bird's eye view of the Grand Canyon.

[during the end of the episode, we see that Heffer is wedgie boy and then we cut to the "The End" screen]
Heffer: "The End!" Get it?! "The End"?! [laughs] No "butts" about it!

Episode 10

Turkey Time [4.10a]

Floundering Fathers [4.10b]

Episode 11

Dumbells [4.11a]

Rug Birds [4.11b]

Episode 12

Hypno Puppy Luv [4.12a]

Driving Mrs. Wolfe [4.12b]

Episode 13

Put to Pasture [4.13a]

Future Schlock [4.13b]

[In the future of O-Town, Filburt's sons, Gilbert and Norbert, are searching around inside Rocko's abandoned house]
Norbert: [from upstairs as sound of glass shatters] Ouch!
Gilbert: What was that?!
Norbert: I think I broke an antique!
Gilbert: [annoyed] Ah, for Pete's sake. [heads upstairs and finds Norbert in a room, sitting on the floor and holding a photo frame] What'd you break?
Norbert: It's a picture.
Gilbert: I believe the correct term was "phonograph."

[last lines of the series]
Rocko: So, Filb, what have you been up to these past 17 years? [beat]
Filburt: Are you kiddin'?
Heffer: [singing] Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer on the wall... / Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer...


See also

External links

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[[Category:Animated TV shows about frogs and toads]