Saturday Night Live/Season 26
Saturday Night Live: Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49
Rob Lowe/Eminem [26.1]
[edit]- Jim Lehrer (Chris Parnell): Well, that brings us to the close of tonight's debate. Each candidate will now give a brief closing statement.
- Al Gore (Darrell Hammond): Jim, may I make two closing statements?
- Jim Lehrer: I'm afraid not. In fact, we are almost out of time, so I will instead ask each candidate to sum up, in a single word, the best argument for his candidacy. Governor Bush?
- George W. Bush (Will Ferrell): Strategery.
- Jim Lehrer: Vice-President Gore.
- Al Gore: Lock-box.
Jennifer Lopez [26.11]
[edit]- Tracy Morgan: Live from New York, it's Jennifer Lopez's booty!
Conan O'Brien/Don Henley [26.14]
[edit]- Tina Fey: According to a report released Tuesday, female inmates in the United States have been victims of sexual misconduct by corrections employees in every state, except Minnesota. So ladies, if you wanna rob a bank, but you don’t want your cooter poked, head to beautiful Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes.
Christopher Walken/Weezer [26.20]
[edit]- Centaur Doctor: Are we going to ask any questions about my medical background?
- Interviewing Doctor: The rest of the interview will be centaur questions.
- Interviewing Doctor: Is there centaur pornography?
- Centaur Doctor: Yes, there is centaur porn.
- Interviewing Doctor: If I were to watch centaur porn, but with a piece of cardboard covering the horse parts, would I find the female actresses attractive?
- Centaur Doctor: Maybe, but you gotta remember: sooner or later, there's gonna be a horse penis in there.